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Understanding 9/11tv Leonidu Gaidayu - 100 1TV December 30, 2023 6:20pm-7:26pm MSK
6:20 pm
here and there the same ball, someone here, of course, gained something, well, someone lost something, hello, america, from the other side, you seem and look like paradise, okay, let it be from brighton peach to derevazovskaya, i understand ships fly between brighton beach and derevazovskaya, the years are not easy. it’s hard here or
6:21 pm
it’s wonderful, you won’t get a ticket to your childhood, life makes it, the diagnosis is final, you won’t go to another doctor. hello america from the other side, let's say you seem and look okay. from brighton
6:22 pm
beach to debasovskaya across the ocean it’s just a stone’s throw from me between brighton beach and debasovskaya there is of course no difference between myself and you , i won’t go around and tell you where and what you don’t do, life is the same everywhere, i cleared my throat and good-bye! america, from the other side, you look like paradise, you look okay. hello, america, from the other side, you seem like heaven, okay, spar, don’t want to go there, don’t go there, there, there’s the mafia, quiet, calm, calm buddy. who's the mafia, who's all the mafia,
6:23 pm
every single one of them is listening, this is a hornet's nest, even quieter, even calmer, do you know anyone in face, i know everyone, everyone is the same, all the bandits, all the parasites, and maybe you know the artist, so they are all artists there, you try how they dilute it, diluted, terribly diluted, listen, i understand when in odessa they diluted our beer , but did we really come to a free country so that here they would dilute our vodka, and... listen, well, listen, this is so familiar to me, yours , perhaps, what’s your name? my name is misha, everyone knows me, everyone respects me, that’s what they call me uncle misha. i’m telling you, everyone knows me, everyone respects me, you idiot!
6:24 pm
let's go to the restaurant, sit, talk, look, and also that tone, there, that martyred one, oh, samson semyonich.
6:25 pm
yes, a bunch of platinum, yeah, she made platinum teeth for the whole family, herself, her husband, a one-and-a-half-year-old baby, and even a dog and a cat , and i’ll take them out, then the dog wouldn’t let me take them off, she still walks around with platinum teeth, listen, but i’m definitely familiar with it your portrait, you need to drink less, and in general you have more serious information, oh, here’s a serious one for you, they say that this one had drakus gorelik stabbed two people to death, that there were no witnesses, since he once... now my family and friends, our ensemble is congratulating our dear sopochka on her sixteenth birthday, so everything is clear to me, i’m off.
6:26 pm
yes, yes, we went, we went, we went , dear little darling, your favorite song will be performed by the incomparable masha, the star, we stopped, these years flew by, a unique time, when sometimes i dreamed of white ships, sometimes fast as the wind. the ist of unforgotten words, a barely audible echo, again does not let me sleep, but the train
6:27 pm
has left, my train has left, the parachute has sailed away without me. i left, i left, my train left, the parachute sailed away without me, it’s probably fate again laughs, but this time it won’t trick me, i know that my train won’t return, and... the ship won’t sail, unfulfilled dreams, a barely audible echo, won’t let me sleep again, but the train
6:28 pm
has left, my train has left, and the white one sailed down the... passage, left, left, my train, left, sailed away without me, parahot, who is she, this is our new star, she came from california, they say she was taken from odessa when she was still an infant. age, but if you were born in odessa, then this is forever, now our musical greetings to our dear guest from odessa, kgb super agent
6:29 pm
fedor sogolov, who came to us to fight our mafia. don’t think down on the seconds , the time will come, you’ll understand , they probably whistle like bullets, i told you that i know your portrait, it’s in today’s newspaper, a joint action of the kgbru, this is clear evidence of the depravity of the socialist collective farm.
6:30 pm
the super agent has arrived on site and is awaiting further instructions. we need to give him the password and the meeting place with our super agent. yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and also a special task for departments. colonel semenov. yes, colonel dynin, uh-huh, colonel korablev, there is, immediately transmit the encryption, i obey, so where, text. who are you, where are you? quietly, you are a kgb agent,
6:31 pm
fyodor sokolov, let’s say i’m there, that means i’m in place, what are you, what are you doing? calm down, colleague, that’s the way it should be, grandpa monya is already receiving encryption for you from moscow, follow me, let’s go, damn it, how could i mix up the time, but nothing, nothing. he was a codebreaker during the war, so imagine, he still can’t stop, because of this we were not allowed out of the union for a long time, because moni remembers all the codes of the general staff, our general staff, no, german in 1943, please, come on, hello , grandfather, the sokolov agent has been delivered, quietly,
6:32 pm
well, well, well, what is this, you were not mistaken, you are offending me, i am never wrong, check, please, you have a special task, colonel semyonov 4863, that's right, colonel 5285, that's right, colonel 66-127, that's right, you offend me, yes, but what do these numbers of a special task mean, even i understand that, colonel, size, for..
6:33 pm
the next communication session, only in 3 days, give it to the child, no, no, the child of course he’s guilty, but he’s still a child, better, kill me, or even better, kill monya, calm down, it’s a laxative. i'll wait in the cafe opposite. syomochka.
6:34 pm
this is love, self-deception. i am you are not mine, girls in the crowd, boys are thrown by pity, this chaos is illuminated, the premiere, the very first new year, today is the first, gin сnop product of stellor group.
6:35 pm
who am i kids? do you think baba frost has already heard us? you need happiness, maybe a husband, our medicine has no analogues in the world. can i just touch this brilliant head? yes, this is my formula? sorry, please, did you order the snow maiden? yes, i know, today there are a lot of things, everyone believes in santa claus, but no one knows about baba frost, i will work with large strokes, but without fighting,
6:36 pm
and it carries me away, carries me away, will they succeed? baba frost and the mystery of the new year, premiere on january 7 at the first, oh, you are welcome, please, welcome, please, here, good morning, you will be comfortable here, coffee, please, i obey. please, i beg you, thank you, how much do i owe you, god, it’s katz who owes you, katz is me, you owe me, well, no to you, personally, i mean the kgb, oh, if it weren’t for the kgb, would i be in this order, if not for the kgb, i would still be suffering as an assistant professor at odessa university, well, i won’t interfere , bon appetit, thank you.
6:37 pm
report the fifth commandment to the scout. a scout can be ruined by a beautiful woman. hence the conclusion. the scout must destroy the beautiful woman himself. the conclusion is incorrect. correct conclusion: a scout should ignore a beautiful woman. oh, what a meeting.
6:38 pm
kgb agent alone without security. busy, there are plenty of empty seats here. what's wrong with you? yesterday you yourself behaved more gallantly. let's drink shib. comrade agent. comrade agent, everything is ready. yes. the encryption has been restored. moni is waiting for you. thank you. meeting with agent 10 am.
6:39 pm
i have an important meeting here, but imagine, i have a meeting here too and no less important than yours, look for another place to meet with some idiot of yours, i have a meeting with this idiot at this very table, and i’m telling you , the weather is good on debasovskaya, but to hell with talking about wait, how long can you... what, what did you say? i said debasovskaya is good the weather, it’s raining again on brighton beach, thank god, mary star, cia, fedor sokolov,
6:40 pm
kgb, it’s necessary. suddenly a cia agent became sad, you know, it’s so lonely in a foreign land, but the surprise, although i won’t deny it, was pleasant, and now i was a completely different matter, we will work together, we will work well together, please come to the table, let’s drink to the successful start of our joint activities, mary, masha, where are you, i’m in the bathroom, come here, so, this is the latest development, an automatic switch, it stops working if suddenly instead of water they supply sulfuric acid, do you think someone wants to bathe me in acid, the russian mafia is capable of anything, and i am responsible for your
6:41 pm
safety, well then i’m calm, and we can finally drink to the successful start of our joint activities. mary, masha, mary, where are you? i'm here! the emergency entrance is very well located, if you have to leave suddenly, great, but we can finally get out, no, no, no, no, i think there's something i haven't checked yet, oh my god , the bedroom, yes, please, before checking the bedroom let's drink to success for later, opalya,
6:42 pm
everything, i checked, from your point of view the safety of the bedroom is in perfect order, fedya , it seems you... offered to drink, yes, yes, we will certainly drink, for a good start to our joint activities, let's better go to the brotherhood, let's shoot it like a mad dog, yes. and i thought we’d work together, we’ll work together, although as an agent you ’ve unfortunately already been exposed, the newspapers gave full information yesterday, some idiot
6:43 pm
spilled the beans, idiot, agent mri star, i’m telling you a state secret, this idiot, am i, what, you’re on your own revealed why, so that my method, fishing for profit, would work. let me i'll send it, thank you, i'll do it myself.
6:44 pm
katz offers, katz offers to surrender, the russians don’t give up, comrade katz, i offer that odessa resident a couple of extra holes in his head, an interesting proposal, but not timely.
6:45 pm
he is 25, oh, tell me, citizen, this is nikolai ugodnik, what are you talking about, my dear, this is saint mary magdalene. “well, but not here, not
6:46 pm
here, let’s go, comrade general, please contact me, but the captain, as a service, serves the soviet union, there are problems, the archbishop does not confer another title, which means it’s not right, the mule has been in the mosque for a long time”? rodal, islam, this is a very difficult area of work, i’ve heard, well, is it easy for us or something, no, i’d rather go to the synagogue, what? this is a disgrace, i will bring you to clean water,
6:47 pm
i demand a book of complaints. i demand the complaint book, immediately. yes, na-na , choke, drunk, i’ll write to you, write, write, literacy , why are we making noise, uncle mish, oh, you will witness, this is the mafia, do you think these are real domestic goods, no, they write like a wave, so . and they shove french stuff in there, yesterday i opened a jar of kilik, and what do you think, it’s all salmon, and sausage, put the sausage, it says youth, ha-ha, so this is pure veal, and where is the lump, and where, i’m sorry, is toilet paper, and where is at least some kind of filler, no , look for yourself, look, well here is
6:48 pm
the product, and you say mafia, mafia, you won’t believe it, but this is for you, the new year’s premiere is on the first, so we have very little time, only 40 minutes, why? we have a corporate account for video communication, unlicensed, free only 40 minutes, i came and saw that your qualifications were not enough and sent them to you the best doctor in the country. greetings, my dear friends, well, which of you has problems, it makes a big difference, you think i don’t have my own business, or what, or do you think, i’m drinking caviar, drinking some cognac, lost, father, homeless.
6:49 pm
on the first floor they are asking, be amazed politely, otherwise i will upset you beyond belief, january 1 on the first, green sea, monte shococa cognac, product of the stellar group. first, the man tamed the cat, and then brought it. a cave, a christmas tree, that’s what came out of it, a sociable alcoholic, yes sash, she’s trying to get close to the christmas tree, which behind you, mission impossible, this is not tom cruise flying off a cliff on a motorcycle, this is to take a beautiful photo in the new year, revealing our inner queen through furs and huge sandwiches with caviar, vinny appeared, we realized that he was bored alone, he wanted communicate with other dogs, they already know her
6:50 pm
with him. these unfortunate eyes are absolutely human and i just have this thought, this is my man, you saw the video, watch the new year’s episodes with us from january 2 on the first, don’t be afraid of anything, hello, i took the bait, i say, i took the bait, said, they will find me themselves, meeting today in atlantic city, golden duke casino, put this on, evening dress for the casino, yes, thank you, yeah, well, we'll see, yeah. what's the matter? what kind of joke is this,
6:51 pm
agent mary star? this is not a joke, agent fyodor sokolov, i’m calm now. armored frag from a japanese company. sukinsan is absolutely reliable, and if it turned out to be defective, oh, it would be a tragedy for the company, we would refuse its services, i warned you, but in this suit i feel completely safe.
6:52 pm
good afternoon, mr. sokolov, they are waiting for you, the bird flew into the cage, help yourself, mr. sokolov, uh-huh, down the escalator at the end of the hall, they are waiting for you, thank you, he came, people will be busy,
6:53 pm
good afternoon, mr. sokolov, please come to the office, they are waiting for you, uh-huh, please, mr. sokolov .
6:54 pm
they don’t just leave, remember, son, the main thing in this matter is sleight of hand and no shenanigans, ace in africa ace, from your
6:55 pm
casino, was it yours? it will be ours, artist! “i don’t understand anything, he robbed us like babies, he sees right through the cards,
6:57 pm
mr. sokolov, as you order to manage the income of your casino, purchase disposable syringes for all amounts, for everything, and send them to odessa.
6:58 pm
an island, so to speak, of freedom, creativity and entrepreneurship, here everyone will find whatever their soul desires, yes, but keep in mind that these, you know, artists prefer dollars, yeah, what is the current exchange rate on the black market, one to 12,000, general, so, for one ruble they give 120 dollars, well, friends, please, please, do you have half an hour, one
6:59 pm
full, two empty, yes, i twirled it, told my fortune , thought, guessed the ball correctly, looked, looked , yes, there’s a 100 ruble bonus for good eyesight, yes, where is our ball now, here, again... well well, that's it, where's the boss? for good vision, 100 rubles. trying it on, i lost again. let's get out of here, jack. catch this damn ball, what a ball,
7:00 pm
it's all a linden, scam, what a scam, don't want to play for fun, but just a minute, jack, stop, lieutenant gypsy kid, return it to our guest immediately , lost, there is a general, lieutenant gypsy kid, lieutenant gypsy, free independent press, latest news, kgb superagent fyodor sogolov struck a blow to the russian mafia in america, casino bankruptcy, three groups of mafiosi buy a newspaper, latest news, as the russian proverb says, yours is in time, shoots everywhere, congratulations, sir, why the tabloids find out everything before we do, right? market economy, tech general , whoever pays more will find out
7:01 pm
earlier accordingly, falcon of eagles, that is, i wanted to say eagle, falcons, eagle, but this is not the main thing yet, the main thing is, you know, artist, i’m very upset. what is this, dear comrades, yes, it’s a pity, tsuladze, tsulaad to be awarded posthumously, by the way, me too, we lost the casino, our patience has run out, it’s time for us to give up, no, there is another proposal, not to give up, since there is no kgb agent managed to buy it,
7:02 pm
there is a proposal to kill him, that is. charming, masha is changing, the star, listen everyone, this is my best friend, what are you clapping for, you were always against the kgb, and i was always against, there i am against the kgb, but here i am against the cia, i really didn’t know that love
7:03 pm
like a frenzy, but it was not for nothing that the gypsy predicted a blow for me, she guessed it.
7:04 pm
the dawn will come earlier, and for two happy people for many, many years, we don’t care, we don’t care, even if we are afraid of the wolf and ourselves, suddenly , like in a fairy tale, the door creaked, everything was clear to me,
7:05 pm
it became, now, help me, help, and it’s very good for me to have swifts, but it’s very bad on the other hand, the january blizzard is ringing , elastics are flying in them, a film concert for the centenary of leonid gaidai, today on the first one, satellite debris is flying towards you, we will do maneuvers, we heard, it’s accepted. rum castro, product of stellar group. what to give to the person who has everything? this is caucasian energy that should always be there. just
7:06 pm
like that. anniversary of nikolai tsyskaridze. 31th of december. on the first. well guys, get ready. kat is always ready, please push!
7:07 pm
hello, hello, artist, artist, first option, i'll burst, there are victims, for srula, picac, died in the line of duty, kats, only shell shock, to hell, kats, go to the second option, i obey. kadryanu, act, go, yeah, there is, well,
7:10 pm
so... what kind of jokes? no, i’m serious, okay, the day after tomorrow the sheikh arrives, the operation will be complicated, but it’s nonsense, i have everything thought out, this sheikh is a big womanizer, like you, yes. so, oh,
7:11 pm
the boat will pick us up only at midnight , we have to wait, but in the meantime we’ll dry our clothes, by the way, this boat is very suitable for us for a fire, so, help, oh, there’s an ax, now we ’ll chop it up. lighter in my bag. i love looking at the fire, it has
7:12 pm
something? primitive, yes, yes, probably , our ancient ancestors also sat by the fire, sang songs, but no, they fried a hunted mammoth, and how does the barbecue smell, and the artist, give me one last chance, i will put this agent in his coffin, in his grave , i’ll bury you in hell, i’ll bury you, i ’ll bury you all, like damned capitalism, fools,
7:13 pm
weaklings, buggers and... one agent and so many of our corpses, kat always offered to surrender, offered to surrender, offered to surrender, offered to surrender , there was no time give up, the sheikh arrives tomorrow, and if you show up here humanism, i’ll show you the mother of kushina, i swear about the sheikh, everything will be okay, artist, what are you?
7:14 pm
handsome man, beware, mary, lest he drown you in his grief, what kind of jokes, to the point, this transmitter is a continuous signal, hide it, and my receiver will signal you anywhere, at midnight, if you suddenly if you don’t show up, i’ll start acting alone , it’s unlikely you’ll have to, the main thing now is that everything works out exactly according to my plan, we’ll start the operation in the elevator, you’ll lure him, well, then it’s a matter of technology, i’ve got everything ready, but this big risk, but this is my method, fishing with
7:15 pm
live bait. darling has arrived, yeah, come out one at a time, zukhra, chicken, fatima, aliza, khaida, yes.
7:17 pm
quietly, sheikh, everything will be okay. calm down, i'm with you! that's it, i'm tired, i want to sleep, i'm all free. before going to bed , wouldn't you say good night to your beloved camel? and oh yes , you certainly
7:18 pm
don’t put it out, sun-like one, what’s wrong with him, what? with your verpulation, but nothing, nothing, it’s his achlomatization, motherfucker, oh, you speak russian, i speak russian perfectly, after oxford i studied in an odessa construction ship, why, camels, ships of the desert, get dressed, okay, enough chatter, why did you kidnap me, it’s quite simple, we kidnapped you so that others wouldn’t intercept us and demand a ransom of a billion dollars, motherfucker , yes, you speak russian perfectly, and that your bandage was wounded in the battle for the independence of your country, yes, no, i
7:19 pm
treated barley at the felatov institute, there in odessa, but even with one eye i see that we can drink for odessa, yes, yes, of course, i beg. eh, and you are samama, i’ll tell you, like my dear, oxford, this is bullshit, the gentlemen are lousy, your health, that’s it, thank you, how, won’t you choose your beloved wife for the night, for today i trust the choice to you. here may be clear-eyed fatima, let fatima sleep, fatima!
7:20 pm
well done, fatima, okay, go, although no, wait, wait, fatima, oh, what a fatima you have, wai-wai, just a minute, now, fatima, now we’re going to get along with you. vodka, in our language, in arabic, are you stunned, fatima, mary, why are you here,
7:21 pm
well, of course, i am responsible for your safety, this what you always called live bait fishing. where is the sheikh, where is it necessary, and by the way, he behaves more decently than you, damn it, but i have to maintain authenticity, oh, you succeed brilliantly, fatima, what kind of fatima are you, what are you doing, you’re crazy, quietly , kidnapping.
7:22 pm
myno-myna, little by little, what? then we don’t have a sheikh, we have a democracy, well , a president, a boss, a chief, whatever your name is, in general, i will talk to the shepherd, and not to his brainless... that i’m
7:23 pm
a sheep, oh you goat stinky, you yourself are an asshole, and i i say, what a goat, what is this, a kgb agent, graying hair, caught the bastard, where is the sheikh? listen to hoku you will understand everything, you only know the sacred fuji, how many roads i have to go through to find happiness, now you try, there is noise around, let it be, don’t boil, everything is fine, now you understand everything, hello guys, well done, what... glorify russian science, i
7:24 pm
, too, am a kind of engineer, so to speak, i maintain the voltage in the network. kvn, major league, final! watch the time after the program! where are you? and everyone is waiting for you there, let's go! china, look who's here! oops, america! you say taiwan! that's it, go get some air! why does man need to go into space so much? because it exists, mancacher whiskey is a product of the stellor group, supershields of the past decade, who will follow the lonely afterbirth, the strong, brave, laid their heads in the field, i sing, little bear, so that you pay.
7:25 pm
everything is the same, and even if it is banal and not talented, but how could the kitara play, just why, just be silent, the heart for whom you are crying, screaming, because he has not tamed himself, has not tamed himself at all, i ask you, serve death, naverty is the best alive. friends, we are burning the colonies, we are burning the colonies, guys , we are going, we are going to the neighboring village for a disco, at the first, last time i ask where the sheikh is, and for the last time i ask where the artist is, kunai!
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