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tv   Yolki-igolki  1TV  January 7, 2024 2:40pm-4:41pm MSK

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boys and girls, as well as their parents, funny stories, don’t you want to see, our faucet will show funny stories, funny stories in the magazine hieralash for now.
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seryoga, go out and build a tower, i’ll come and help, oops!
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tati-ta-ta, tati, ta, tati, ta, seryoga, come on quickly, i’m coming!
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oops, oops, blow, earring, come out, i'm coming!
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now you are half to me, now i am yes to you,
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twins, but no, we are not twins, just not twins, you are brothers, yes, well, that means twins. they told you, we are not twins, well, we had lunch on the same day, on the same day, well, that means twins, no, we said , not twins, why are you confusing me, let 's start from the beginning, you are brothers, all over again, all over again, i'm tired of undressing one day, godin, twins, yes, you know, twins, no... we said, we’re not twins, why are you bothering us, why are you bothering us, we’re little girls, i’m a pussy, go,
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boys and girls, as well as their parents , you don’t want to see funny stories, our faucet will show funny stories, funny stories in
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the magazine era nash, in the magazine yeralash, dima, dim, dima. dima,
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dima, dima, mom, why are you shouting, dima, where are you? you're running, i'm looking for you everywhere, all the children are walking, and where are you, give me your hand, let's go, so what is this, where is your left mitten, well, where, where? in the same place as the right sneaker.
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i would like to meet her, invite her to a disco, that’s also a problem for me, in short, there is one method, it works flawlessly on girls , they immediately fall head over heels in love, but what kind of method is shock therapy, you approach her, put her in a state of shock, tell her everything that i need it, it’s yours, i don’t understand, i point to... choose any car, look, learn,
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my name is vasya, meet me at the disco. look, my name is vasya, meet me at the disco.
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my name is vasya, meet me at the disco, it’s almost ready, and now the finishing touch. my name is masha, meet me at the disco, cool!
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the boys got it, and we’ll smear them too, no need to smear, i have a better idea, stop smearing, girls, what do you suggest? you'll find out in the evening, let's get a smear, let's go. that's it, let's go,
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ah!
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electrician, they're jailing us, sorry. so you can’t see anything, and so, light,
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oh, boys and girls, as well as their parents, funny stories, would you like to see, funny stories, the screen will show ours, funny stories in the magazine, magazines!
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get ready to pay attention!
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yes, you can’t overtake them that way, but what if you go straight through the forest? yes, i’ll blow your nose in the morning, come on, yeah, hoo!
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hey guys, where, where is the finish, finish, what’s the finish, all of you, it’s been an hour and a half since we left.
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chizhikov, chizhikov, okay, erase the board, guys, the topic of our lesson is a globe and a map. the globe is a reduced model of the earth, it depicts continents, oceans, mountains, seas, cities and countries, rivers and lakes, deserts, like the earth, the globe is shaped like a ball, so it’s quieter, quiet. what's the matter, what is it, children, chizhikov, you 're explaining again, well, what's the matter, go to your seat, so, let's continue, chizhikov, well, you
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sit down, finally, you see lines on the globe, these are parallels, chishikov, don't turn around. now your parents will come, how will they feel, and they will be ashamed of you, the little siskins, they
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called their son, a clown, who are you? praslov, hey, did you fall asleep or what? look, there’s no one, you’ve been sitting there for three hours already, three. it’s clear, it’s clear, you didn’t solve the problem, i
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taught it, but i didn’t expect anything else, go two, let me sing for you, andryushenka, you didn’t do anything mixed up, i'm fine. you won’t regret it, but i ’m taking an exam not in singing, but in mathematics, here’s a healthy, fat milking, you wait, wait, my beauty, let me look at you, joy on you. wow, i didn’t know that you had such talent, i told you,
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but you didn’t believe it, but... talent needs to be helped, so, i’ll give you a c, give it back, i ’ll dance again. “i understand, mathematics, it’s just not your thing, yes, perhaps i think so too, you will be a great artist, i’m glad you liked it, while no one sees, i give it four, four i’m putting it on, and i can also perform magic tricks , i need your watch, oh, be careful, please
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, they are doormen.” this is a gift, don’t be afraid, it’s just a trick, attention, a deadly trick, andryushenka, dear, i ask you, give me back the watch, do n't worry so much, blow it. that's where the magic begins, simslabim, ahlay-mahalai, focus, pocus, okay, four, so four.
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boys and girls, as well as their parents , funny stories, would you like to see, our crane will show funny stories, funny stories in the magazine, yerola, yerala magazine.
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well, repeat after me, meow, meow, meow! softer, softer in a sing-song voice, like this, meow, meow, look, the main thing is articulation, meow, meow, now myself.
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listen to the cats meow, listen , remember, get up, lu, get up, you need to study, ah! oh, bucks, it’s so simple, a deuce for you, that’s all, friend, he calls, meow, meow! meow, meow, meow, meow, well, finally,
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well done, bucks, well, you see, it worked. now you will understand each other better and will never quarrel.
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here she is, here is her nerd, now let's get acquainted. skvortsov, what do you want kositsina, who is that? vasya, vasya? vasya! vatia.
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hello, vasya, where is vasya?
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what kind is this? who allowed you to come to class without a bandana? will you show up again and fly out of here in your trousers? by the way! you taught, yes, i, this, i taught, honor your word , taught, you say, now we will check how you taught, tell me the leader of the group and sit there, now i remember, don’t prompt, you didn’t teach, he doesn’t
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know, because what didn’t you teach, sit down, two, he’s got a banana, how can you not know such a crazy guy? maybe markov will tell us the name the last album of the metallica group, and sitting there blossomed, they became amorous, they stopped flogging the clearing, well done, masha, that is , well done, mary, our coolest student, children, mary, well done, everyone else... sucks, when will you remember, nerdy assholes , that heavy metal is our everything, we were born to make heavy metal, and why, you ’ll cry during my exam, no kirkorov with his
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bunny will help you, i swear by oze osborne, that’s enough, homework back. best riff, hard rock awesomeness. there's a stream, a river begins, and what about friendship?
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starts with a smile. all people. brothers, okay, okay, not all
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, some sisters, one way or another, once a year we all become surprisingly similar to each other, and wherever we are, in khabarovsk, st. petersburg or astana, on december 31st we are all like we decorate the christmas tree alone, prepare the most delicious dishes, hey, and like little kids we wait for the new year's miracle. hey, look what i found, here is a letter, old, salem, and yulia snegerova lives here, why do you need it, i have a letter for yulia snegereva, interesting, the post office was undergoing repairs, here we found it , thank you, goodbye, yulia snegereva. zemlemnikin, yulenka
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, my love, forgive me, it’s my fault, i couldn’t restrain myself, it hurts me that it was my brother who separated us, about igor, i made a decision, for me he no longer exists, but i can’t live without you, i will wait for you.
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for the first time in 40 years, he did not go to red square, and his post under the chimes was taken over by a cadet of the kremlin regiment, pavel bonderov, who was also waiting for someone. don’t pay attention to them, pashka, you just have to believe, then she will come, i wrote a letter, all i have to do is wait, how long can i wait, how long? zemlyanikin, for example, his yulia snegereva. i waited here for 40 years, every new year came, everyone knew him here, and
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what, what did she come, she’s standing there, oh well , she hasn’t come for 40 years, now she’s here, oh, don’t believe me, go and check, good afternoon, private bondriv, please provide the documents, what’s the matter, we need to check something. please, snegereva. yulia, yes, are you by any chance waiting for strawberry? how do you know? yes , everyone here knows about you. man, he’s been waiting for you for 40 years, every new year. where is he now? he will come. you are the main thing, you are not going anywhere go away. fine. well, this is her. can you
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imagine what will happen when he arrives? he won’t come again, wait, today is the first of the month, what if she comes? borya, you better drink, so that you can live in perfect harmony with the salt, otherwise it’s easy to break, but impossible to glue together later. i'm old already, last flight, and i. olenky, hello, thank you, unfortunately, hello, olenky, borya couldn’t tell, because six months ago she slammed the door in his face, right now this very door was ready to swing open to meet her new
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fortunately. bonju, bonju, waiting, waiting, oh, what, what! lovely, what a delight, products from pari, oh, merci va taste, thank you, come in, please come in, will, bonjo, i beg you, please, my god, be healthy, oleg i. it ’s okay, it’s okay, she undresses, olya didn’t doubt for a second the correctness of her decision, but the little girl nastya from samara was tormented by far from childish doubts. aunt katya, tell me, what’s wrong with me? well in
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what sense is it not true? biologically i have two parents, and in fact my mother is on business trips, and dad has never... seen her, so he’s generally a speculative figure, i have only one hope, maybe he ’s at least a spy, i’m coming, i’m coming, oh, well, i’ve finally arrived, hello, nastenka, another one, sit down , well, hello, here is her letter, hold it, listen, i don’t know something. so get it together, whether you're a father or not, in the end, lena will be there in the evening, and i'll go, i won't disturb you, i'm frosty,
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red nose, with a white beard, touchable, then don't cry, don't joke with me, you seem to be already an adult , and you are acting like a fool, who is the fool, or what? who else? actually nastenka, i did i bring you something? actually, my mother paid for this gift a long time ago, so you still have to give it back, put it over there, and don’t torture me or yourself with these poems. kolya’s daughter has grown up. such that you don’t put your finger in your mouth, but alena from yekaterinburg was still a small, quiet and exemplary girl , at least that’s what her dad thought, although something still bothered him, can you imagine, new
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year, morning, everything is already they sleep, and we meet the dawn together. "let's tell your dad everything today, he's a good person, i i’ll explain everything to him, he’ll understand everything, pay attention, don’t blink, don’t wash your feet today, and the main thing is to remember that now these wings will always strive for each other, i really need to run, and i won’t let you go anywhere, but put you in your place , arguing with olenin’s dad now was at least unwise. the argument about who is cooler, a skier or a snowboarder, also didn’t make much sense, but it
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has been going on for many years now, maybe they can also create a party, and that the party of the bartists again sounds, then it’s better to immediately have a party of losers, you yourself are a loser, and today mega race i got you i’ll say again that when you hit me up in general, last new year, right here on this highway, when you didn’t hit me. so you ’re a loser, nevermind, whoever shot down wins, lord, it’s you, i’ll collect everything for you now, oh, grandma, i’ll collect everything now, here. oh, grandma, what a letter from a deputy, come on , come on, dear maria ivanovna, based on the results
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, it was decided to issue a cast-iron continental bathtub, oh, well, thank god, now at least i know who to vote for, put a stick in the jar, and bath, let us bring you a van, how did i stop by? he says mega idea for the new year, yes, excuse me, thank you very much, boys, and you know that you will come back like that, come to us to celebrate the new year, we will definitely come by , what are you up, let's go now, gregory, what did you suddenly decide fly on the thirty-first? well , that's it, has the love passed? grigory zemlyanikin
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flew further and further from the place where the love of his life was waiting for him. julia hoped that he would come soon. pashka knew that this would not happen. well, pasha, she hadn’t left yet, something had to be done about it. you better tell me how we got this strawberry we'll find it. it’s like looking for a needle in the sound of hay, you said it well about needles, pash, you know what people say, all my needles are on one tree, look, this is, for example, my branch, here i am, here’s mom, here’s dad , brother, sister here, here, this is yulia snegeryovy’s branch, and this is our strawberry, this is your branch, together we are... one big tree, and so it is possible, the main thing is that you understood everything correctly , understood, you need to call the police, i’m happy like
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you, i’m 100 years happy, but my heart cries and hurts, cries and hurts, my love, she doesn't like loneliness, her flight...
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christmas with grigory leps, watch before and after the evening news. oldbar cognac is a product of the stellar group, why do we need chinese christmas trees when we can make our own, i decided to create a factory so that all the elements of the christmas tree would be produced in compatriot raw materials, we don’t just wind up finished products, but we cast and create this product , man with santa claus hat, five children, do you feel magical? a little bit, i think we'll definitely find some pair of shoes for your image, we have a small creative workshop, everything is very individual, we
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have developed a model that does not have a right... and left leg, that is, you can use it either way. porcelain is a challenge for an artist, to do something that no one else does, because it’s kind of not accepted. now borsko porcelain dust will turn into a unicorn toy. it doesn’t work that way, i’ll have to show you how it’s really done. ours is everything. premiere. tomorrow on the first. bourbon starsman, a product of the stellar group, only without the rocs, i'm still a dragon, i'm i’ll show you, dragon, why did you knock down the utyuz tree, andrei nikolaevich, you understand, there is such an ancient african new year ’s tradition, a girl will be let into the cave when a red snake climbs onto a palm tree, well, onto a palm tree
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, not onto a tree, and, by the way, here you are, kind of like a professor, yes, a respected person in general , yeah, of the faculty of international relations, and so misbehave, love is evil, enter into international relations, to you, vladimir grigorievich, hello, my name is aslan, yeah, we’ve been dating alena for a long time, yes, it’s been 11 months already, so someone’s blood is about to be shed. where are you from? i'm from grozny. intern trained! pashka’s cousin, senior lieutenant korovin, was precisely the person in the police who, in pavel’s opinion, could help in the search for zemlyanikin. this is bondarev, private, bondarev. hello, baska. here's the thing, i need your help. you see, i love your daughter very much. i also
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love my daughter very much. if i see you like this once, you will see. thank you, well, everything will be fine now, karavin, come on, take him away from sin, karavin, don’t you dare, gentlemen, it’s not a dream, alena , we will celebrate the new year together, i give you my word, don’t argue, don’t argue, don’t argue, let me go, do n’t argue, don’t go on the internet, don’t sit, i can’t already, and you still can’t you’re standing here, i’m not 5 years old, well, not 25, come on, sit down, sit down, i said what ’s going on, i love him, you see, so what did you
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do, my fool, and i’m these heels in childhood. kissed them, and you were so plowing them , we agreed on everything with rashid, but your wedding with laila has already been scheduled, father, i don’t want to marry a girl who’s not even i know, me and alena, or you stay with this alena of yours, your foot will never cross the threshold of our house, or tonight we are all going to rashid, that’s it, i said everything, i’ll still celebrate the new year with him, you hear, new year meeting with me in the department, that's it, dad , this is some kind of chaos, the nineties, professor, yes, well, screw it, dad, i have the right to...
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so, come here, i will complain to the human rights court, but release me immediately to the toilet, because i’m already in the morning, the tail, well, the tail, december 31st, and everyone is full of problems, but at least someone should be fine, zhenya, what a beauty! “hello, mommy, mommy , hello, you can’t imagine, everything is like in the photographs , only even better, i’m so glad that everything worked out for us, ol, where is the money for an apartment, where is the money, ol, i am ok, just kidding , please tell me why there are only two amounts, and where is the third, what is the third, it’s a little expensive,
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of course, the third is a security deposit, we agreed, don’t say, not the husband, but the net one.” you know, i don't have any money yet, but... you know, as they say today, there is no money, the girls are leaving, hold on, the bed is like an airfield! yes, yes, now let’s quickly unpack our things, you know, when you’re angry, you’re so sexy, good, and you’re resourceful, and you’ll find the money too, and bring it to my house, today, dictate the address, in this city zhenya knew only two people, boyarsky, mikhail and borya, but telephone. he only had one number. boris had just flown from moscow to st. petersburg and was currently racking his brains over an extremely difficult question.
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yes, hello, hello, borka, hello, this is zhenya from yakutsk, remember, well, last new year, yakutsk, plane, olya, well, remember, of course i remember. listen, old man, here’s the thing, i literally moved to st. petersburg with olya 2 hours ago, i desperately need $3,500, what a joke, rubles, of course, no problem. come, that's it, come on, i'm flying to you and polya, hello, that's it,
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hello, hello, hello, well, hello, how are you? yes, everything is fine, here’s the new office, new, as they say, i wanted to congratulate you on the upcoming holiday, so i thought maybe we ’ll see each other in the evening, i’m leaving today, so what? where are you going, to paris, with francois, great, and which francois, francois is my mother’s old client, he rented an apartment from me, listen, how old is he? it’s just that if he’s 80 years old, give or take, then i’m terribly happy for you guys, this is borya, he proposed to me, quickly
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you, that is, he, borya, boris arkadyevich, and i ’ve been waiting for you for 6 years, but i wanted to remind you in order for you to look at the conclusion of the state commission during the holidays, you need to face the truth. i 'll definitely look, definitely look, well, i said i'll look, i'll call you back, i now myself, just don’t forget, look, this is the conclusion of the state commission, that’s it, now i won’t forget, i see you have big plans for the new year, plans, and so, happy coming to you too olga nikolaevna. my buns are big, i'll forget myself when i get drunk.
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liza, well, maybe that’s enough already, andrey , this, andrey, that, today we’ll go to the christmas tree, find ourselves a new boy, of course, here in novosib, you know what kind of guys are, actually no worse than those in vyatka, really , nastya, you don’t know andrei, if he promised, then he will call, lisa’s family moved to novosibirs right before the new year, her best friend andrei remained in vyatki, who promised.
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the plane will arrive, but they haven’t come here for 100 years, and you’re still waiting, they haven’t arrived for 100 years, but today they’ll arrive, this is called an emergency, you know how it happens, here’s a plane flying and... it’s no longer your airfield, no phone, they wrote you off a long time ago, let me call you, 0.0 km.
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you remind me of my brother alexey, igor, he was also smart and swaggering. this is the one you and your yulia fought over. i wonder how his life turned out? 40 years have passed, i’m no longer like this with him and haven't seen each other. julia, why did you break up with gregory then? yes, they were stupid, young people. he was jealous of my boyfriend. but i loved him all my life
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, just him, i didn’t even get married, he doesn’t even know that we have a son, i didn’t tell him that i was expecting a child, look, this is the son, and this is the granddaughter alena. and alen, berry, nine letters, the third is correct, strawberry, strawberry, let me out, i understand, strawberry, you’re my, i completely forgot, oh! whoever behaved
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well receives a gift, a continental cast iron bathtub, we come up and sign like we do let's drag her down, but hello, santa claus, this year i was leading myself to 0.000, no, but this is very good, what is this? this invention, my computer, it shines, and what does this color give? it’s dark, you can’t see anything, he’s like , you read that i’m flexible, a little bit, no, no idea, now i’ll try too, please invite an osteopath to the studio, ordinary three-year-olds, they have a blue tractor in the fields.
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best of all christmas special today on the first dear our best of all i'll tell you we'll just sing and have fun until de. whiskey mancacher is a product of the stellar group. yakutia is called the freezer chamber of siberia. and for local residents -30 is not a problem at all. -40 so, a slight chill, but about -50 they say, nothing, we’ll survive. the temperature is low, so our stopwatch freezes and the whistle freezes. why don't walruses freeze?
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our walruses are seasoned, guys, my uncle told me, he worked as a driver, that the bus was heated inside the soldan, and heated with wood, firewood, mom, and you yourself wear high boots, so you have to cut everything off, everything is crooked, a scythe, it’s okay, it’s a shame, it’s a shame, that’s how he directs, under the ice, from breakthrough to breakthrough, from breakthrough to breakthrough, in this lake i remember 20 tons were pulled out at once. gin сnop, a product of the stellar group, from you , my dear, climbed into the forest. senior
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lieutenant korovin found the number of grigory zemlyanikin in 3 seconds, but not our pilot, second cousin, second wife of his great -nephew, daddy, who didn’t even know about the existence of his... relative, hello, grigory zemlyanikin, yes, yes, yekaterinburg is worried , uh, senior litena korovin, me asked me to tell you that yulia snegoreva is waiting for you at the chimes, yulia, and what is she waiting for me? well, did you offend her 40 years ago? they offended, then they waited for forgiveness, all these years, they waited, they waited, this year they didn’t show up, it’s not orderly, i offended 40 years ago. are you laughing at some lady or something? i wasn’t even in the project 40 years ago, i understand, it’s my fault, it’s a mistake, with the upcoming one, with the upcoming one, damn it, never mind, it’s heavy, maybe we’ll catch the car after all, but oops, come on me, come on, on me,
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you have a lot of money or something for a car, you're better tell me who called , guess i gave my sniger to some land, it’s a nightmare, how heavy it is, tell me, cool story, dude, tell me, tell me more, show me, well, well, she came, and he disappeared somewhere, that’s it -it’s a pity that your julia never found out that an entire plane was named after her, you should be offended, well, she found out, she didn’t find out, what’s the difference, the main thing is that she was happy, but in general it’s good that we flew away today, otherwise i would have been standing in the cold, and she wouldn’t have come again, for the first time in 40 years she did everything right, but yulenka, what the hell, comrade commander, we have our own navigation system, yulenka, what are you doing, why don’t you
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leave, well, you haven’t paid me yet, i don’t have money, but you can eat it, you need vodka for the passage, yes, nast, i i don’t drink vodka, how can i drink vodka, it’s 100 degrees hot, i’ll drink it, i’ll drink it, i’ll evaporate, no, i’d like something cold. delicious, yes delicious, do you want more, we still have a whole package in the refrigerator, no
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, i’ve already eaten, well, since i’m full, give me a gift, so, so, so, so, happy new year, nastenka, what is this? this is a magical device , my grandfather gave it to me, well, it’s also frosty, you remind me of someone, who, let me tell you a secret, a secret, yeah, of course, from whom, it actually hurts, oh, how it hurts, it seems real, actually, you can’t do that with santa claus, otherwise i won’t show you miracles, what miracles, well, for example, with the help of this magical device you can stop
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time, as you know, still, but why are you so sad- then, huh? yes, you will remain like this, now, you know, it will still be, 100 flights are leaving, planes are leaving for flights, the ships are removed from the fire, if they are people, if they are pom or they are people, i click and click something, but i don’t see any photographs, so this wall is not a simple one. you know, it’s not good for him to languish in a cage either
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, it’s difficult with him, you know, here he is, darling , borya, hello, hello, you’re coming, you don’t see, well, listen, thank you, gentlemen, but where could i get another 35 pieces ? just give me the money, i'm really late, buddy, please, what money? like what money? i don’t understand, if you gave me money, you changed your mind, you would have said that, i didn’t expect it from you bore, i’m not bore, yes, who?
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i, i don’t remember, and it’s been a long time since you’ve had this bump on the floor of your head, you really don’t remember anything, come on, sit down, sit down, sit down, it hurts, huh? calmly, the yakut veterinary academy is working, so the bump goes straight into the undercoat, well, what date is today, of course, today is december 31, and you have traumatic anesia caused by a blow with a blunt object, i checked your pockets. no phone and documents,
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yeah, but there is money, there is money, thank god, so, moscow control, borter 646. complete failure of navigation equipment. port 646 come back. can you make it from the airport? i'm afraid not. is there anyone closer? on the way to moscow, the east is the old vyatkaya strip. it is believed that it is some kind of gavrilov. gavrilov? valery mikhailovich? he. we will land in vyatki. contact gavrilov urgently. tell him what is flying towards him. girls, come out! no, but i feel that
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something will happen today, i even put the computer in the love zone and also changed the statue, dear santa claus, i’ve been a good girl all year, so please give me to the bad boy, but i like the good one, it’s somehow calmer with them, yeah, only the bad ones are under the window, and the good ones never called. let's go for 5 minutes 5 minutes grandfather valer quickly there is a plane calmly without panic report clearly what happened which plane where to fly big very close the landing gear has already let out the green trees so well we need to turn on the take-off plane thank you andrey for saying thank you hello, hello, lis, hello, this is i, quietly,
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there were problems with communication, how do you like it? sears, well, he’s big, so handsome, i’ll call you back, well, where is your plane, andryush, i looked all over, no one he’s flying, it can’t be, i saw him so close, big, beautiful, so big, beautiful, well, he flew on, in short, i’m your best friend zhenya, you’re boris vorovyov, look, you
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owe me 35,000 dollars. just kidding, rubles, but who is this? like who? this is your olya, beautiful. where is she? where, he’s probably sitting at home, waiting for you. oh, sorry, sorry, excuse me, again, sorry.
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on the back of your head, it’s like in artiodactyls, i understand, the joint pops out, and on the other side we put the grime in place, now, everything will be, come on, i’m ready, what is zg? what, listen, uh this is a clue, if you now remember what zg is, your memory will come back, you specifically wrote so as not to forget, well... tie a tie, well, close the garage, pour out grief, send away guests, jellied pink salmon, wintering kraten, maybe a toothy gibon , zenoid
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hypius, roll the lip, pick up weights, drag g, fried pigeons, for mushrooms, bee, flower, brew, bake, climb, take, back sin, mayonnaise, oh, cucumbers, mayonnaise, sausage, these are all imbas. francois immediately noticed that there were no green peas. olya, we forgot to buy peas. so, maybe francois will go to the store for peas. no, no, no, no, francois, what are you, what are you? olechka, what are you talking about, my dear, are we going to send our guests to the store? no, francois, please rest, we will have everything ready very soon. please, rest. or maybe a third g?
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alumni reunion? oh my, sandal gaucher, smeynych, evil thunder, slow hippophysis, fill the pot, order a coffin, green peas, green peas, olya me. i sent for green peas for olives. well, i i ran, and they hit me, robbed me, and took away my peas. logical. well, what a decent person, i’ve known you for a month, already proposed, tomorrow you’ll be in paris, and not
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like your borusya, why did he lead the cat by the tail for so many years, bully you. i think so too, that’s right, well done, olya is waiting for me, she’s worried, so, in short, there is a method, get up, it’s called autopilot, i use it all the time when i drink, close your eyes, imagine that you’re drunk, let’s go, come on , come on, let's go, come on, come on, let's go, i'm going, come on, come on, i'm coming, i'm coming, i'm coming, i'm coming, i'm going, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
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“this is the chairman of the party of snowboarders saying, well, you probably heard, in short, in short, this is how things are going, you happen to be a pensioner zemlyanikina, you don’t know what - i say, zemlyanikina, grigory, you don’t know , by chance, i don’t know, well, look at your place some pensioner lists, you know, he’s just been waiting for 40 years for a woman under the clock, yulia snegereva, but it seems the letter hasn’t reached her.” and now it’s come, and he’s disappeared somewhere, you know, she’s standing now there alone is waiting for him, where, well, where under the clock on red square, are you out of your mind,
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well, wait, we are all snowboarders, all the best to you, and you and you, under the clock, are 40 years old, well, that’s it, the job is done, now the main thing is to go down carefully, and krisha means he’s gone, and snegereva is waiting, well, well, well , what have i got to do with it, such a man, a train. long gone, whatever isn’t done is all for the better,
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right?
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i’ll buy a globe for my mother-in-law, let the world see where the dvaler is, the plane is flying, yes,
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they flew away today, come sit with me, old year we’ll see you off, no, this time the soda is flying, we need to turn on the strip urgently, otherwise it will crash, andryusha, you don’t joke about such things, i’m not joking, there’s a plane, well, really , a plane, 90 pipes, 90 kopeck gingerbreads, and i i realized what happened to you, but i’m having communication problems here again, listen, you left so quickly and i didn’t have time to tell you, i wanted to tell you, the old fool, he jumped out barefoot to us, hello, hello, andrey, what did you want say, andrei, grandfather, the plane, well, honestly, i really saw it, it was flying over the forest, maybe it turned
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somewhere, go away, grandfather valer, where, go away, i said. so what about christmas time? i don’t know, i can’t get through on the phone for some reason. probably a network break.
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go, it means you just didn’t receive the letter , well, yes, how could i not have guessed, the fucker didn’t receive my letters, she doesn’t know that i’m waiting for her, yes, it happens, wait, he’ll come, he’ll definitely come, i sent the dispatcher out, wow you, if only mom could see this, where is she on some business trip? "she says that she earns money for my future, in fact she earns money for her present, and sometimes it seems to me that she doesn’t love me, well how well, he doesn’t love, there’s so much stuff for you, nannies, dolls, dresses, he loves, of course, but dad where, dad, yeah, he and mom separated like ships at sea, he was worthless and
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worthless, so, so, so , so!”. you can’t talk about dad like that, but it’s not me, it’s mom, i didn’t have enough brains to save my family, now i have to disentangle my uncompromisingness, that’s what my mother said, it’s the nanny, what uncompromising is, i don’t know, but i understand the meaning , well, what do you think, what is there to think, 42% of divorces are associated with psychological and practical the unpreparedness of the spouses for family life, also a nanny, what are you, wikipedia, oh, monte shock cognac, a product of the stellor group.
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that is, she will have the apartment , i knew from childhood that i had nothing to gain from this family, i kind of should be angry with him, but i envy him, damn it, family life, some kind of fucking pawn shop, we need to start living like the rest of us your apartment is needed, it’s turned on, listen, everything here is so twisted, even i wouldn’t write something like that to myself, no, daddy,
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it was you who twisted this plot, huh? olive premiere, tomorrow at first, the proclamation, i changed something, i decided to leave it all to one single person. rum castro, a product of stellor group. let me ask you, what do you want?
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arrest me in the first department, please. oh, why am i on your nose? new year is just around the corner, go home, everything will be fine. mister policeman, don't you think that i look somehow suspicious? don’t you think it’s me, it’s him, but no, but you... all agreed or something? listen, brother, come on, arrest me in a good way, and take me to the first department, you drank, what? yes, please arrest me, why am i arresting you, go home, weirdo, i
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’ll climb on you anyway, well, wait a minute, he’s not killed, korovin, let me go for half an hour, he’s waiting for me. if he loves you, he will wait. i was told today that a man had been waiting for his woman for 40 years. and how did you wait? no, you see, listen, i need to go right now, otherwise it will be too late. well, hello, well. korovin, come on, be a man.
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well, look, only for half an hour, so that once i’m here, just try to be late for me, run so that i don’t see you, lie, lie, lie, lie down, lie down.
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right for me, for alyonka, for love, so that you can be seen throughout all of russia, zarylich, groaned already, be careful, lights out for the fire department, call an ambulance, first department, what a disaster, they ruined the boy, they ruined the boy.
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i’m fine, fine, but i’m not fine , fuck it, the bath is strong, you took it out of your bath, look what we did, it’s a deputy’s car, yeah, great, whatever you want, but i want to live. and what? so what do you have here? i have a bath? yes, i mean,
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a car, well, with a bathroom, what about you? yeah! yes, yes, i found it, they were driving, yeah, comrade policeman, policeman, are you really telling us now that we are in prison, well, in our bathtub, where, quietly, we are conducting a live report on komsomolsky prospekt, please explain what happened here and what is it doing on the roadway, i am telling you now i’ll tell you everything, she probably liked me too, she even invited us to new year’s, can you imagine, yes, but only if we bring it, of course, yeah, that’s why we can’t go to prison. commander, it’s a new year, let
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’s forgive everyone and let us go, we’ll all disperse, damn it, well, are you sorry or what? everything, quiet, quiet, quiet. even though the bathtub was driving at the permitted speed, as i understand it, in its own lane, it’s mercedes’ fault, it’s unlikely that anyone will ever know what exactly deputy vorobiev said to the traffic cop, certainly no one will guess.
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so, take the phone, dial olya , find out the address, but i don’t remember the number, but you don’t remember, your fingers remember, muscle memory, come on, ula, something familiar, oh, please, please answer, you see, who's there? your method doesn’t work, good evening, hello
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nikolaevna, it works, autopilot, well, found it, they found who it was, hung up, yes, someone called me, it was a mistake with the number, really, wait, wait, i can’t, i need to buy green peas, what kind of peas, i wrote it down, i promised olya, i keep my promise , you really should have hit you in the head with a brick, but tell me, nastenka, if dad is so bad, why did you write a letter to santa claus? , come on, who wrote this? even though i don’t believe in you, back and forth, pum-pum-pum, give me back my dad, but how
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will you recognize your dad if you’ve never seen him? i saw , i saw, come on, hold it, just don’t look, damn it, it’s good that you don’t have to put it in the bath anymore, we’re cool with this deputy, yeah cool, yeah, but it’s unlikely he ’ll look for anyone now, but he sure as hell won’t it will be, you saw his face at all, listen, how do you say this? the name of the pensioner, what pensioner, well, your namesake, radio romantika, there is only until the new year, zemlyanikin, zemlyanikin, our snowboarder, like any almost happy person, wanted to make everyone around him happy, including grigory pavlovich zemlyanikin, that’s why he called my brother, hello, great, little brother, come on, i can’t talk now, yeah, hush, i wanted to ask aunt natasha, well... your mother used to have your last name and zemlyanikin,
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her last name was trofimova, trofimova, and what? listen, there weren’t any strawberries in our family, or snegerevs, what? in short, here 's the story: what are you doing? oh, actually, i didn’t think of something, here’s my dad! there is a second half, your mom is beautiful, your dad is also handsome, nastenka, you wait for me here, i need to do something, real santa clauses don't pee.
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nastya, mom, mommy, nastenka, little one, mom will never leave for so long, mommy, can we... dad will stay with us, wait, which dad, the real one, he dressed up in a santa claus costume and thought i was his i don’t recognize him, he’s there, peeing, hello.
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thank you for babysitting your daughter, now go away. mommy, let daddy stay. nastenka, dad is in a hurry, the snow maiden is probably waiting for him. forgive me, nastenka. i don't always achieve miracles. and i don’t have any snow maiden, mom, stagnant after the hill, oh, what are you
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, huh, kicked you out, as you can see, well, you did the right thing, what did you think, you’ll only be wandering around for years, running, she’ll be waiting for you with open arms, right, everything’s right i did, and what are you doing now, mom, why did you kick him out, he was good, he didn’t drink vodka, i checked. “dear santa claus , my name is nastya, i shouldn’t have started all this, i should n’t have written this letter, i’ve been looking for you so much, even though i
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don’t believe in you , i have no one else to count on, i love my mother very much, i can’t no candy or dolls needed. give me back my dad , i really need my dad, thank you very much, and my mother needs him, well, i thought that i would glue you together, i wanted happiness, and now everyone has separated like ships at sea, but it would be better if you didn’t come at all, grandfather , i ask you , make sure that this new year my mother and i receive a gift for two, i promise you that i will behave well, obey nya, expected, planned happiness, and what is this? this is a very boring movie, i'm
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tired of watching it, it's very, very funny moment. oh, what disgusting, what disgusting, this is explosive, can i switch it up, but of course , thank you, i will stop this type, she is tactful, and why is copper blowing, think for yourself, make up your mind, to meet your happiness, lord, in such a beautiful package for a person they sold spoiled food, it would be better if he brought peas, vodka veda, a product of the stellor group. i'm
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happy, like who you are, i'm happy. years , but my heart cries and hurts, cries and hurts, my love, she doesn’t like loneliness and... her flights will not end eida eida eida hey yes loraida hey yes, my love is always with you , this is all my dear, it’s somewhere deep down, thank you for not letting go, then, thank you for asking, of course,
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rom castro, a product of stellor group, she’s worried, she’s worried , poor thing, she sent me in the morning for green peas, it’s all gone, the package is gone, she goes, she’s already called all the supermarkets, that’s all, everything, everything, everything is ours, 46 rubles. now. 40 each, give me the money,
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you have another 6 rubles, guys, let's hurry up, please, one second, now now a second, i had to prepare, 41, from you another 5 rubles, do you have any money? this is not money, this is for an apartment, you can do it faster , and please don’t delay me, well, in kind , i’ll explain everything now, olya sent me in the morning to block the fence, and i hit my head, now everything will be, girl, you’re so sexy in that green cap, but in honor of the holiday, won’t you forget about some of them? rubles, we’ll take the peas,
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took it where, behind me, calmly, but just stand there, now i’ll give you that, you know where, sorry, it cost worse. what's going to happen, stop, i say, run, here's a mouthful, uh, uh, where's the tree, bro christmas tree, well, yes, sweat, i want to say, dear sa, which no new year can imagine, you are right, in two spirals, your energy, well, allows us in this snowy winter to feel thirsty, champagne.
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getting to know each other, can you imagine, she’s like that, well, like that, well, well, better than everyone else, in short , i just now realized how much i love them, she, she didn’t forgive, she kicked them out, everything is clear, you probably took too long to go back, you know, but i was told a story today about how one strawberry man waited 40 years for his snegereva,
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there is still a chance to fix something, at least for someone. yes, you're right, there's still time before the new year, and you know, women sometimes do things that, to themselves... they can explain, the taxi has arrived, olya, which means we'll be in paris in 6 hours, i agree.
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you know, i 've been looking at you all day today, you know, but i don't love you, and i won't go with you, forgive me, forgive me, please, i understand, i'm allergic to the christmas tree, i'm, i'm allergic to all your new year, so, calm down, i know how to solve this problem, damn, i feel sorry for the christmas tree... where can i get it now, it won’t fall from the sky, and 3 million dollars, what an apartment, well, remember.
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i don’t remember, i don’t remember, well, there is one last method, good old hypnosis, look carefully at the screen, your body is filled with lead. “your eyelids are getting heavier , i’ll count to three, you’ll open your eyes, you’ll remember everything, one, two.
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olya, olya, i’m so excited for you, so am i. somehow hypnosis is working on you incorrectly 28.
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great, what are you doing, did you come for money? well, thank god, i told you, i should have immediately hit you in the head, he came back, oh , it’s borenka, he came back and brought peas, very, by the way, you brought peas, i should have called you back, but i didn’t call you back, i’m sorry, but
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i completely forgot, i forgot to tell you something very important, i... should have told you this a year ago, or even 2 years ago, and in general i should have told you this on the very first day of our acquaintance, olya, marry me, this is zhenya, zhenya, olya, hello, hi, he needs money, 35.00, guys, help me out, there’s no time, ol, i promised him it’s inconvenient, fight, how can i get there energetically? at this address? periodbula 7a apartment 28, so it’s here, this is our address, you carried my address with you all day and were silent, guys, why are you at the door, oh, and you’re here? you brought money, yes, it was i who came in successfully, please, olenka, i wanted to give you this money with me to the hairdresser, well, by the way,
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it’s still happy new year, but my husband should have the money, and now it’s all on the table. alena, alena, alena. hello, hello, aslan, what a wonderful dream.

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