weakness that was in him, as in any person, and what conclusion would you draw for yourself then, that any person has the right to make a mistake, most likely, such a conclusion, and even the one that is closest to you, and yes , the person who was on the pedestal for me, that is, even the winner, yes, can make a mistake, but what would that give to you? so you know that a person in your relationship can make mistakes, that he can allow himself, that there are no ideal people, that this means that you may not be ideal, yes, yes, that me too not an ideal person, but it also seems to me that there is a very important realization here , or something, that your relationship does not need to be assessed now from his position, that what kind of relationship you have tomorrow, the only real... the value of these relationships

is determined by your feelings of happiness , love, comfort, everything. all we need in this sense is to get out of our heads and add a little feeling, add a little personal value to it all. then you won’t, well, at least judge in terms of abuse and victimhood. and you will learn to be in contact with reality, in contact with a person. and not with the role that this person plays for you, and this role is assigned, of course, by us, if we, for example, put this person in the role of an abuser, yes, for example, we say that he is inside himself, then from this moment we can no longer have a relationship with reality, we only have a relationship with the model that he performs for us, plays out, this is your freedom, probably the most important thing, yes, then you can learn to appreciate. is it possible

to focus your feelings on them in these your three, yes, there were three such fundamental episodes of your relationship, well , probably the most fundamental one was just the father of my child, when, yes, i met him just almost after i lost my father, and there was even the fear of, that that person will leave in principle as if it would be the same. leaving like and like a father, that is, all the time i’m afraid of this leaving and that the relationship ends, as if this is the same leaving that i had to endure, and thus you end up codependent relationships, you create them, this is your contribution, but how do you bring these codependent relationships to episodes of obscenity, as you say, what criteria were there in your life, was there physical violence? or what

was it? in one of the relationships i had an element of physical violence, it was there, after that i realized that everything, now looking back, look, there was probably a point where it was possible to end everything earlier, there was something that didn’t allow you should designate this point, see, realize your own power over your life, maybe something else will change, maybe i’m still... right, maybe it’s worth looking further and something will change, and you understand that this pattern, what can be i’m still wrong, this is the pattern of your relationship with your dad, because you were never able to prove it to him, because hiding most of your own life from him, without telling him there , somehow hiding all this yes, he pretended that he doesn’t notice it, and you pretended that no one knew anything, it turns out that it’s as if he never really knew you, he didn’t know me, that’s true.

absolutely, yes, in order not to lead to a state where this person uses force, for example, yes, because well, this is unacceptable, obviously, but - if we talk about what tatyana is talking about, how did you allow another person to sit on such a pedestal where you make him somehow the main thing in your relationship, and your sense of self begins to depend on it, that’s where you begin to lose yourself, that’s for sure, so the most important thing is to learn to trust yourself. with your feeling, and

for this you need to touch them with your fingertips all the time, and this is the only truth about you, for you, no matter what another person says. but your feeling will definitely never be deceived, your feeling, perhaps, the british are writing manuals to the vice-chancellor of germany , who said that russia is supposedly to blame for the farmers’ protests, in order to bring so many germans onto the streets, something really serious had to happen, the government did not find funds to support its own agricultural producers, at the same time scholz said that support he doesn’t intend to reduce ukraine, i ask myself, with what money, and where now , according to... ukrainian media are allowed on the internet only with a russian passport, the guys didn’t finish this fake, they could make it cooler, in russia the internet is for coupons , anti-fake, premiere, tomorrow on the first, doctor preobrazhensky, new episodes, tomorrow after

the program time, you are watching the triggers podcast, with you its host tatyana krasnovskaya, a psychologist and psychotherapist. psychologist psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, as for your relationship with your dad, well, it’s always like that not a very pleasant situation, probably, when you need to remove him from the pedestal, and for a while, he will then get back there again, but this will be a more conscious decision or something, because yes, this is dad, he was a good dad, a husband not a fact, but it’s as if you took a tracing paper from him for any manifestations of masculinity, but it really is, this is where i agree, because having been... in this state, when you said that let’s try to get away from this image , suddenly it’s as if it’s clean and a white sheet, that is, how differently? i can tell you as a father, and not there as a psychologist, but as a father, that when we raise a daughter, we put a lot

into her with a reserve, so that she, you know, in the caucasus there is such a proverb that when you you’re raising a son, you’re raising a person, when you’re raising up to... you’re raising a nation, it’s as if a daughter is always burdened with a little more than is probably necessary, so, of course, it’s very difficult for women, especially when dad really took such a position, nothing it's not better when dad on the contrary, i was disappointed, but when dad turned out to be such an ideal, then of course, well, usually it is very difficult for women to build relationships with their husband, with men, with their husband, and dad really taught you a lot and showed you a lot, but i want to say that you know this, as you remember , pinocchio was looking for the golden key, and he found it near the tortilla, i hope i won’t offend anyone by saying that such a tortilla for you is your mother now, just sit down and talk to her about how you saw him and what he was like from her point of view sight, under no circumstances

destroying some ideals, in no case doing anything like that, but simply talking with her about her feminine part, what kind of woman she was, we already had such a conversation, you see, even more so and... in fact, the picture was painted , let’s say, quite complicated, not very rosy, as it turned out, and there were some moments that i didn’t even want to believe in, it was just after his death, but i told myself, and also to her she also said that it doesn’t matter to me what happened between you, because... i don’t want my world has been shaken, which here i am with my questions, so that i can fiddle around with this ideal, and most likely, yes, i raised it, let’s say, to a very high level,

despite the fact that, by the way, we communicated very little with him , we generally saw each other very little , i understand, in the evening there were 2 minutes where i was doing homework there, back at school, they told me, well done, you’re doing your homework, but... and you have to live with a person so that if they end today, then you will not regret it, and this can only be done without betraying yourself in these relationships, this is what what i strive for, perhaps this is the very litmus test that will help you come to terms with your feelings, yes, because very often i blocked

some of my own, there’s something i don’t like, well , i understand that my mother would probably i would also block it, so as not to let it get to me. to tell you today, when you are 32 , that in fact everything was not at all like that,

let’s summarize what you are taking, what new strategies, if any, you will take into your life, i tried my dad’s script, to be strong in relationship, it didn't work out for me, i i tried my mother’s scenario, to be weak , submissive and so on , it didn’t work out for me, maybe now it’s time... allow, let’s take this word, yes, allow yourself to build your own personal relationship scenario, this is probably the most important thing , yes, give free rein to your inner freedom, and i really liked what you recommended to me specifically about feelings, to rely on my feelings, i very often push them somewhere far away, well, what seemed, yes, this word, it seemed to me, i didn't think so, yeah trusting yourself, trusting yourself - this is a very - just a feeling that is not very familiar to me yet. thank you very much, this

was the triggers podcast, its hosts tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan were with you. today we talked with elena about her relationships, about the figure of the father in the life of a woman and a girl. in my opinion, it was interesting. you can find all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. lives in penzi, is proud that he learned english in 3 years, dreams of swimming

with whale sharks, admits that after after divorce, she became interested in astrology, and now she believes in the horoscope more than in herself, it was the stars that told her to apply to the program, let 's get married and meet there a caring, professional romantic who will take her to another city. hello!

you fell in love with a boy and such a metamorphosis occurred, well, for him, in any case, that from a girl, fifteen years old, you suddenly turned into a mother of two children, into an adult woman, but he doesn’t know this about you, so the older you get, well, according to my observation people converge, the stronger the marriage, well, the bride has such sensual lips, a figure, it seems, but for now i can’t see it close, but also ah.

it’s a secret, so he’s leaving, you ’re texting with him, sex on the phone, well , as usual, what next, then one fine day a girl writes to me on social networks, says: hello, let’s... share your husband ha-ha- ha or faint? i literally answered her a couple of phrases, after which i sent this correspondence to him, saying that this is him, you ’ll probably laugh at me again now, so i’ll read it now, i’m about i only found out to you yesterday, i’m your friend about two sons, god.