of our country and whether it is timed for february 24 or not, it ultimately has, well, some kind of third power value, or maybe it doesn’t have it at all, that is, these uh springs continue to - unfortunately, shrink, i think that we are ready for this, i completely agree with you, but indeed this once again shows the reluctance and unwillingness of the united states to seriously discuss russian concerns, fundamentally... issues of european security and to make any deal with us, because this the deal should provide not only for territorial demarcation , but also take into account russian interests in the field of security, and of course, we should not forget that turkey, hungary, and slovakia are nato members; on some issues they can afford to contradict the united states the states should demonstrate an independent foreign policy, but not all of them, yes, there are clear boundaries.

erdogan, for example, on the palestinian issue, he took a policy, such a position, you know, such, anti-american, anti-israeli, here he decided to remind that he is a loyal member of nato. dmitry vitalievich, from the point of view of russian security, formal accession to nato and sweden. well, indeed, i completely agree with andrei ivanovich, she was an informal member. military cooperation, intelligence cooperation, joint exercises, carried out very intensively for decades, sweden's formal entry. what is this for us in nato? well, i’ll sum it up a little first, it’s really hard for old europe, old uncle sam took her by the throat and is already doing it to whatever she wants. in fact, no, nothing will change, because sweden has long been involved in many nato operations. sweden is even indirectly, directly, one might say, involved in the conflict in ukraine, providing its reconnaissance aircraft, which, as we understand, conduct reconnaissance, provide data so that later... ukraine

used this data to carry out strikes, that is, there are no changes here there will be virtually none. the united states, at the expense of europe , has indeed built an iron fence and continues to build it from the outside, that’s right e north and from the baltic, that is, this is their goal, not yesterday, nor the day before, this is a very long-standing goal, they have been working towards it for a long time, well , bases, american bases could hypothetically appear in sweden, remember from finland how?

and canada, i will remind our television viewers that at one time two former deputy directors of the institute of the usa and canada, viktor kremenyuk and alexey, wrote an article with the following title: the americans themselves will never stop, but russia really stops them, the events in ukraine confirm this, and completely i agree with andrei ivanovich, we are ready, we will have something to answer, and the security of russia will certainly be ensured, it was. big game, all the best, goodbye, we are glad to welcome you, with you is the podcast deception of substances and its host, editor-in-chief, which lies on the surface,

but which not everyone, as they say, reaches, this fall we learned the chic word zhezhirovka , this was said in relation to manul timosha from the moscow zoo, who by winter went through this fattening process, from 2 kg increased to 6 kg, so it’s customary for manuls to gain fat for winter, that’s the word fattening, which in my opinion is wonderful. well, this same word, fattening , in general, can be called what happens to a person when he eats a lot of fruits, fruits and the fructose they contain are an ideal way to gain fat, prepare for winter, and, in fact , prepare for winter , bears gain most of their weight,

despite the fact that they are such predators, ferocious, terrible, and so on, they gain most of their weight, fat, or rather, on berries, on fruits because there the bear was told that you can’t go along that path, it’s eating raspberries, the bear is busy with a very important matter, he needs to go through the fattening, and it was somehow life-threatening to be distracted, this is really so, that’s why it doesn’t come to you ...people that fruit is a sweetness, what if it is somehow connected with fat, because when we eat lard, well, there is probably a reason for people to assume that lard, fat also accumulates fat, and fruits and berries are sugar, they are sugar, plus they themselves

are low in calories, if you look at it the calorie content there, i don’t know, of apples, what the calorie content of apples is, well, in my opinion, it seems to me, 50-60 kilocalories, approximately depending on the size, but... what is very important here is what will happen later in the human body there or a bear, when you eat these apples, and it is also very important how many of these apples you eat, and what is also very important is how your appetite changes when you eat apples or other fruits, but more on that a little later, in the meantime, i’ll also tell you how, as an example, i came one day a patient came to me and said: doctor, i feel so good. i lost weight, i was on a watermelon diet for a week and my eyes are shining, the person is very happy, i say how much we lost, she says, more than five kilograms, i say, you know, let’s now do a study on body composition analysis, and you

you will see what you lost in relation to this lady was especially revealing because i had bioimpedance before, that is, the results of her body composition before... now after her diet, and i knew what we would see, but talk about it at first, when a person came on such a rise, it’s not very reasonable, it’s better to show so that objective data is visible, well, actually, what we saw was a sufficient loss of muscle mass, and adipose tissue increased, and i began to explain to her that watermelon or any another fruit diet... a mono-diet, it involves the intake of only a specific component, yes, well, in particular, watermelon, this is a lot of water, this is glucose, this is fructose and of course , dietary fiber, which, by the way, is about

dietary fiber useful, but there are not many of them a lot, after all, but there really aren’t very many of them, naturally, when a person consumes sweet water and a little fiber, he accumulates fat. tissue could not be any other way, and muscle tissue will be lost all this time, because protein is not supplied at all, and the need for it every minute, not to mention every day, exists in the body every minute, and the body, regarding the situation as stressful , because a very important, the most important macronutrient has stopped coming, it will waste muscle mass, losing muscle mass is very bad, this this is exactly the process that i would call it. logical , well, in general, this is old age, of course, yes, this is old age, this is sarcopini, this is when fat accumulates and muscle mass is lost, nature, so to speak, prepares us for leaving, that is, our body, muscle tissue, say, from the legs , there from large muscles,

it moves it into the muscle tissue that is more important to him, this is the heart, no, he not only moves it into the muscle tissue, he, of course, supports the heart muscle, everything that he wants. to say which muscle tissue we don’t need, well, we don’t go with skeletal muscle tissue, let’s say, yes, okay, in principle you can live with, say, its decrease, but we have a muscle layer in all our vessels. all vessels expand, narrow, it is vitally important , the lungs, which are constantly working, in general , we should not lose muscle tissue anywhere, yes, we do not need to lose it at all, this is an indicator of such general health and, let’s say, general safety, nature is in she is not very emotional on this issue, she is so reasonable, and really emotionless, it doesn’t matter to her whether you are a good person or a bad person, only one thing is important to her: you are healthy or not, tormented or not, and where muscle tissue is destroyed, there is usually trouble, and this is not very

good to pass on, but such genetics, well , figuratively speaking, so when i explained to this lady that she has adipose tissue she saved up, because when she wants to eat, and she only has watermelon, she only ate watermelon, and she spent muscle, because all this time cells were being built, some were being destroyed, hormones were being built, and in all hormones. there is a protein component, well, practically, but other important substances, enzymes and so on and so forth, so the need for protein did not stop for a single second, and there was no protein intake, yes, but there was no protein intake, so muscle mass was actively destroyed, moreover, when we change something consciously, we we understand that we want it this way, we have some idea or some circumstances, so the body... at such a subconscious level does not perceive the situation as controllable, it simply focuses on what is being done,

what is happening, so assessing it after the fact, and if it suddenly stopped coming vitally an important macronutrient, protein, then this is stress, and where there is stress we have a lot of cortisol, and where the level of cortisol increases, there we have increased fat formation, and fat formation with an increased need for cortisol is in the abdomen. that is, in the stomach, that is, from some kind of imaginary well-being on the scales, and the weight has decreased by more than five kilograms, we got into big troubles, some can be easily leveled out, and some can lead to significant such side effect, is there something you want to ask? yes yes, since her fat has increased, it means her volume has not gone away, because fat is more loose than muscle, that is, despite the fact that her number on the scale has decreased, her clothing size has decreased. yes, they probably did not decrease so significantly, you know, if it had been longer and the person would have been initially

larger, yes, but there is approximately 55 kg, otherwise it is not very noticeable on her, moreover, with us - here in this crust, in the watermelon itself, in the pulp itself, there are substances that contribute to such a diuretic effect, of course, some swelling went away, edema, and in general the fluid content in the subcutaneous tissue decreased, which is also very bad. of course, that is, it seems to her that everything is fine, and the figure, here it looks somehow on land, but in fact the situation has only worsened, so such mono-diets are not at all about health, just like when a person well , he starves for a long time, there is therapeutic fasting, we won’t touch on it now, but in general when we are on some kind of, well, a little extreme rails, then this is not at all pro...

kazan and some kind of exacerbation of stomach ulcer. if we eat

half a kilogram of apples, then this is already worse, especially worse, and not just in terms of the fact that we begin to accumulate extra calories, which means fat will accumulate. we get a lot of fructose. fructose is a fuel, it is the feedstock for the synthesis of uric acid. and here it’s very important to understand at some point in a person. everything stopped at uric acid, in humans, in higher primates, and in everyone else the process goes further, so scientists have long puzzled over why does a person have a lot of urine? acids came to the opinion, well, some scientists came to the opinion, and it also seems to me that this is reasonable, that when we began to eat salt, when we began to eat more, let’s say, in excess, uric acid began to play the role of such an antioxidant, now everyone talks about oxidative stress, oxidants, but uric acid in normal quantities is

an excellent antioxidant, that is, it helps us maintain vascular health. brain and the whole body in general, but like everything in our body, uric acid is the same two-faced, when there is a lot of it, it contributes to a lot of troubles, blood pressure increases, kidney stones form , for example, and the articular surface is destroyed, that is, we lose our joints , joint mobility, arthritis, arthrosis, gout, gout, and that same gout develop , gout, they say the pain is from gout. yes, it is impossible to tolerate it, god forbid, when i find out this from my own experience. gout is also called the disease of kings, those people who eat tasty and plentiful food are always called two product: wine and meat. in fact, wine is a derivative of fruits and berries, as a rule, in all fruits, especially

pome fruits, that is, apples, pears, berries, strawberries. that we also have pome-shaped kiwis , for example, quinces, they have more fructose, which means the body synthesizes more uric acid and will bring us, so to speak, closer to gout, not only that, but let’s say cherries, apricots, they are, especially cherries, they seem to be sweeter, yes, well, yes, and just as it seems that they are more dangerous, in fact no, where there is more sweets contain more glucose. glucose is less dangerous for humans, well, in certain quantities, everything in certain quantities , than fructose, there is even such a formula, perhaps it is incorrect, correct me, if not, glucose is for energy, and fructose is for storing energy, then we need to add storage energy in the form of fat, yes, then

everything falls into place, but a person needs fructose, because it is very easy. is quickly converted into fats, but almost half of the amount that comes into the body will then turn into glucose and will be spent as energy, if a person is active, if inactive, then most of it will go into fat and another part will actively turn into uric acid, moreover, everything in the body is very tricky when there is a lot of glucose in the body, well with diabetes mellitus , for example, the body tries to reduce the amount of glucose by turning it into fructose, then if a person has gained too much fat tissue and has developed such an extremely unpleasant process as insulin resistance, then this fructose should have turned into

, or rather, on this path of converting glucose into fructose, there is this... intermediate product cerbitol, but if insulin resistance is developed in the body, then everything becomes at the stage of this sorbitol, and then such troubles develop as loss of vision in patients with diabetes, lord, zuhra, let 's go back to the bears, to be honest, it's already a little scary, bears really love honey, and there's also a lot of fructose, by the way, but honey is fructose, they think that's sugar for them they can’t, they can’t have candy , but honey is healthy, but, on the contrary, everyone can be treated with honey, including a diabetic, but this is a dangerous misconception, this myth has long been debunked and, unfortunately, it still exists

shelves called for diabetics for everything there is fructose, waffles, cookies, jam, everything is on fructose, and this is not healthy at all, moreover, it extremely contributes to the progression of diabetes, it contributes to the accumulation of adipose tissue, the basis of type 2 diabetes is obesity, that's why fructose, again, i want to encourage so as not to demonize any of the substances that are in our diet, well, it’s just all about... the quantity, like eating an apple a day, there’s even a proverb, a person who eats an apple a day doesn’t need a doctor, an apple, yes, but a kilogram of even cherries, yes, even strawberries, already. not useful, look carefully, you will recognize him, grandfather, in the center of russia with us, money and gold do not

interest me, you will go to russia today, return the sacred treasures of the nation, and from these treasures, my father, for a lover, you will excuse me, of course, but it all looks somehow not very plausible, there are secrets that have no expiration date, german, tomorrow after the program time, cognac, monte shococa, a product of the stellar group, on the seventieth birthday of leonid ermolnik, my favorite student leonid yarmolnik, i saw such a young boy, slender , very flexible, this freedom and lightness, it seems to me, was what distinguished lyunya in general. well , leonid esakovich is a very demanding person, but he really is a demanding person in life, he is a real friend whom you can call at night and say, leni sakivich, i need a taxi.

i have never seen him turn away from any problem or or from some request to him? i was so lucky in life to have someone with whom life brought me together, someone to look up to, someone to imitate. the documentary premieres on sunday on the first. we continue the conversation in the podcast deception of substances by oles nosov and zukhra pavlov. we very often give our children or ourselves some banana or apple as a snack, right? well, like, you want to eat those apples. yes, kill the worm. we won’t kill the worm with a banana and an apple, but let's raise three worms, figuratively speaking. natalya, and. when you and i eat fruit, contain it. in a larger amount of fructose, then it reduces this component fructose in our body, especially in the brain such a substance as moth-enzyme a, you don’t have

to remember these complex names, the point is that the less of this substance, the more the hunger center will be activated , and the more we will want to eat for the next meal, but without an apple we would eat less at lunch, eating it between meals... an apple is better eat after breakfast or after lunch, in between you need to drink drinks, primarily water, you can with the same lemon, you can drink a cup of tea or a cup of coffee, but without any additions, if you want coffee, you drink just coffee, not well isn’t it better to just eat, well, if you want to eat properly , a very important note, look , if 3 hours have passed, let’s say we had breakfast at 7:00, 3 hours have passed, 10 o’clock in the afternoon, we want to eat, we can eat because a normal amount of time has passed, 3

hours, from 3 to 5 - this is an absolutely normal interval between meals, but if an hour and a half has passed, and this often happens when a person eats just porridge, just ate porridge for breakfast, after an hour and a half, maximum 2 hours, the person will want to eat without squirrel, what should you do, have a proper breakfast, right? well, i haven’t had breakfast, well, i’ve had breakfast like this, and if i haven’t had breakfast, then of course, the stimulus for eating is hunger, but if a person eats the wrong breakfast, the wrong lunch, then he will want to eat all the time and he will overeat extra calories, this is a very important principle of balanced nutrition, it’s exactly about this, if we eat only carbohydrates, and porridge is only carbohydrates, well, fiber, and complex carbohydrates, not simple, complex, if we don’t add honey to the porridge naked for example, then there will be simple carbohydrates, then we won’t be able to, this is not very good, of course, not good, but what should be added to the porridge in order for it to become a normal breakfast, something protein, yes, you can eat cheese,

you can eat an egg, you can add berries to the porridge, let’s say seasonal avsanka, for example, yes or chop some seasonal fruit into small pieces, then it will be a very proper breakfast, because there is protein, there are carbohydrates, there is fiber, including apples in the porridge. or in fruits or berries, this is a balanced meal, it will last for 3-5 hours, well, most likely for 3 hours, then we should have the next meal, exactly the same balanced, but we can already afford what - more substantial proteins, yes, that is, we are meat - well, rarely does anyone eat meat for breakfast, although before everyone ate sausage and were happy, well, now we can eat our favorite suvit, yes we can eat. chicken, yes, yes, yes, a very good breakfast, i think, but people are more accustomed to eating something like cottage cheese, eggs, porridge, salmon, for example, yes, it will be absolutely wonderful for toast, here.

it is very important to say about apples, so as not to accumulate excess fat, then the same apples or any other seasonal fruits, persimmons, pomegranates, tangerines, they should be eaten as a dessert after breakfast and after lunch. this is a very important point, because there is a very, very well-established myth circulating on the internet that fruits eaten with the main meal lead to fermentation. rotting and so on, yes, they fall, which means that this is the meat, and the meat takes a long time to digest, and the fruits wait their turn and then wander, who knows what, but well, this is verunda, yes, this is not even primitive, this it’s simply false, in fact, if you eat fruit on an empty stomach, then the absorption of glucose occurs much faster, the rise in glucose is much higher, and accordingly the synthesis

of insulin is also greater. after all, insulin is we have an anabolic hormone, if we eat only carbohydrates, then , in fact, we have this energy vector for the construction of adipose tissue, well, in a very simple way, and if we eat protein, meat, fish, poultry, eggs, cottage cheese and so on, and then as a dessert we eat an apple or any other fruit or berry, then first of all, the absorption of glucose is not so fast, it is smoother under... this level is low and, accordingly, insulin also does not go off scale, figuratively speaking , well, that is, the apples there are not waiting for their turn yet the meat is digested, they are digested from the very first minute they enter the stomach , but everything has eased up for us, well, it’s very good, mind you, we smile a lot today, either because we are talking about delicious things, but by the way

there is also such a non-obvious thing . those fruits and berries that we eat now are completely different, they are much more tasty, sweeter, more attractive than, say, some 10, 20, 30 years ago, that is, this is certainly a selection process for increasing fructose and glucose in our vegetables, fruits and so on, i agree, perhaps, yes, knife cuttings.

they squeezed the juice out of oranges right away, which means there was a juicer right on the street, and they sold it right away, i was shocked, because it turns out that freshly squeezed orange juice is very sweet, just incredibly sweet , it’s good that you remembered about the juice, because it’s very it is important to say that freshly squeezed juice is often perceived as an element of a good life, and sometimes patients also say: “doctor, i drink freshly squeezed juice every day, and i grab my head, i say, it’s very in vain that you are doing this, this can be done as some kind of exclusive, well, for example, i once was in a hotel that was located in an orange grove, and there were these juicers everywhere, and just for fun, well, so you pick it and squeeze it out, you drink it, that’s it, there are no more situations where i drink freshly squeezed juices, why don’t i do that, because when

we eat an orange, one is medium”... we started, here we probably need to talk about that that fructose is such a thing, uh, that nature came up with precisely for this purpose, so that people , animals, mammals accumulate fat, this is an evolutionary mechanism , so fructose, at first it suppresses hunger, well, for a short time, for a short time, and then it inflames hunger, and the more fructose you take, the stronger your hunger, all for

what? in order to accumulate as much fat as possible, when we start eating fruits and berries in huge quantities, then we enter this vicious circle and come out of it beautiful... he couldn’t dress as well as we do now dressed, any clothes, as they say, now there is no bad weather, there are bad clothes, then it was more difficult for him and the additional layer for winter, the fat layer, it certainly didn’t bother him in any way, but a person at that time would still be... very physically active and he still had brown fat, which is the maximum suppresses inflammation, that is, it balances these fat deposits so that they do not harm a person. we are now very hypodynamic, we

do not spend a tenth of the energy that our great-great-forefathers spent many thousands of years ago, so we do not need such an amount of fat. to the day birth of vladimir vysotsky. fell , they will lose to pure gold, we rely only on the strength of our hands, on the hands of a friend and a driven hook , how close and affectionate you are, my climber, my affection has become , i carried my misfortune through the spring on the ice, i loved the past, we are sadder...

rum, castro, product of stellar group. and with you again is the podcast deception of substances and its hosts, editor-in-chief of komsomolskaya pravda olesya nosova and me, an endocrinologist, zukhra pavlova. zukhra, you keep saying, now is tangerine season, now is persimmon season, and so on next, but it's tangerine season. persimmons are actually on the other side, but for physiology it’s all the time, you can always get it for yourself , on the one hand, this is cool, of course, but on the other hand it’s bad, because when you and i ate cherries during the cherry season, we formed

certain substances immune system to this very cherry, and if you continue to eat it, as now with cherries , everything may not be so good, with strawberries and blueberries in general and raspberries everything is always fine. it just costs significantly more, it seems to us that this is also an element of a beautiful life, this is how it should be , they ate, accumulated certain substances, then during the absence of this product they cleansed themselves, sauerkraut, our everything, yes, they replaced all this with sauerkraut, they cleansed their body, allowing the immune system, as they say, to function fully and freely , by the next season they are already bored, cleansed, figuratively speaking , to normal products and this is another word cleansing, detox, it has also already acquired some kind of abusive version, because everyone is cleaning something, some intestines, some liver, whoever i don’t know, head

, don’t bother with this, we have an excellent self-regulating system, just don’t interfere with seasonality, and you often drink juices oles, no, i don’t drink juices at all, i have an excellent juicer. as you explained to me, what a threat lies in juice, that’s the worst thing , of course, drinking juice is the coming gout, it’s inevitable, if you try to drink it every morning, and you also know what other history there is with juices, people have a sign equals, many people have an equals sign between freshly survived. juice and juice from a bag, juice from a bag is not always juice, it ’s nectar, even more evil, it’s nectar, that is, it’s really some kind of fruit fraction, to which, as a rule,

corn syrup is added, yeah, yeah or, well, sugar syrup and so on, that is, it’s generally the same fructose in large quantities, well, let’s say this is possible from time to time, but we must always understand that every... time is going over the line, beyond the ribbon , and it’s better, of course, not to go there very often, yes, another very, very important point when there is fruit, that’s why i always tell patients: we eat fruit in the first half of the day, everyone is surprised, but in the first half of the day i don’t really want it, but i really want it in the evening, i came home, i’m tired, i want to relax, eat something tasty, and this is delicious, as a rule, fruits, well, sweets in general, why can’t you eat sweets in the evening, because we have very different activity of certain hormones at different times, let’s say our testosterone is as high as possible. concentration level in the morning, but in the evening

it is low, but insulin is the opposite, we have it the activity of its receptors is minimal in the morning and maximum in the evening, so in the evening most people want sweets, and insulin pulls this need, it waits for this energy, but it is not necessary to encourage it in this regard , it is necessary, otherwise there will be fat formation, fattening, yes fattening, and we will all turn into timosha, by the way, he is so cute. from fruits, from fructose, from excess, the worst obesity, visceral, not only, western obesity, you can eat anything if it’s high in calories and the person doesn’t waste it, well, i mean in the sense that fruits do not cause subcutaneous fatty tissue to increase, but simply the body, this is how the system works, evolutionarily, humans have been dying of hunger for many millennia, so mechanisms have developed to store everything that is necessary, glucose. fructose, fats, everything will be stored, and

protein, part of it will be stored as fats, as carbohydrates, glycogen reserves, yes, that is, not all will be absorbed, if a person eats a whole chicken, he will not absorb all of this protein as protein , some will go into fats, and all the fructose will be absorbed, all of it into intestines, and it’s also interesting that there are a lot of proteins that are targeted, so they are born. in order to capture fructose, they are synthesized in the liver and there and act in large quantities, so all the fructose that gets in will absolutely be captured and primarily stored in the same liver, so when a person begins to abuse fruits, he as a rule, such a phenomenon as hepatosis, fatty degeneration of the liver develops, also called fatty degeneration, and we understand that dystrophy is bad, well, cirrhosis is also dystrophy, well, cirrhosis is the final stage,

that is , fatty degeneration develops first, this is hepatosis, in other words, then non-alcoholic fatty liver disease develops, then non-alcoholic hepatitis, and only then at the end fibrosis, cirrhosis and so on, wow, we ate some berries, yes, that’s it, and what’s also very important to say, again about this, otherwise we’ll miss it, about fruits, we think that we’re getting healthier, but we’re not getting any more very very very valuable substance, we don’t get fiber, this whole cake is thrown away, and this is generally the most valuable thing in fruit, so if you find yourself, i don’t know, under a tree and a juicer, as an exclusive, drink this juice, just once there, i don’t know, there for six months, the rest of the time you eat. also , what is very important in this process is living,

yes, here is our beloved 33 times to worry, they ask why 33 times, well, it’s just easy to remember, 33 times, 33 chewing movements, it is still considered that this is the amount which, when eating hard foods , these are fruits, these are vegetables, this is meat, this number of chewing movements is enough to... this peel is absolutely rotten, i

got about 70 movements, that is, of course, no one else, hero, i’m an experimenter, i’m interested , you can experiment on yourself, it’s an honor, i would even say, every doctor is a natural scientist, but i was just wondering how much you need to chew so that it’s impossible to feel a large piece of this skin, so it's amazing that there are so many no one chews that much, but... if a person feels bad, yes, let’s imagine, there was vomiting, usually, looking at what comes out of the person, you can clearly understand what he ate, because... he chews, yes, i’m very sad for the stomach , which will not be able to grind it, because the stomach is a muscle, and then in the intestines it all cannot be, well, let’s say, taken apart and assimilated, in this situation the process of rotting is still somehow i can imagine in the large intestine, and even then it’s so

much more, it’s very offensive for our taste papillae that cannot taste this fruit properly, because we simply don’t allow it, we... eat them in season moderately in the first half of the day after the main meals after breakfast and after lunch, and in the evening no, no, otherwise fattening , otherwise you guys, yes, there was a podcast with you about deception of substances, my name is alesya nosova and endocrinologist zuhra pavlova. hello, my name is natalya loseva and this is

a psychic podcast in which we continue to calculate the formula for happiness, or at least everyday joy. ours today. the heroine anastasia came with the following question: her current lover, her current man, does not accept her son from a previous marriage. and the expert in today’s episode, famous psychologist, family psychologist ekaterina sivanova, who knows this situation both as a specialist and as a woman. hello hello! well, anastasia, tell us your story? the story is, yes, that i had a previous marriage behind me. i had a son in my marriage, yes, but it turned out that we divorced my husband and accordingly, but it’s all the same we are all women, we want relationships, yes , i started a relationship with a man, we met him, as if in, well, to be honest, in the world of dating, yes, everything was basically

good, beautiful, romantic, but at some stage it started problems in the relationship , they started because... i have a child from a previous marriage, and he immediately knew that you had a child, yes, yes, yes, yes, that is , i’m to the point that this i even wrote in the profile on the website, because i think that you shouldn’t start a relationship with some kind of silence, yes, but that’s exactly what should be embarrassed, conflicts began, well , yes, misunderstandings began, and it also turned out that we have, he also has an ex- wife, there is a child in a previous marriage, yes, only a girl, but the girl lives with his ex spouse respectively. yes, and you said that the conflicts started somehow in connection with your child, but can you tell me, if we take the very, very beginning of the relationship, we went to the apothecary garden, listened to a wonderful music concert, went, then, accordingly, to restaurant, yes we ate, came home, and put the child

to bed, of course, it was already late in the evening, we went there to communicate further together, at some point the child ran into our room... yes, he ran in, in fact, he the temperature rose, he came running to complain that he felt bad, at that moment, instead of support there, he fell into some second little child who was taking his mother away from him, and why, why did he run to us, so unceremoniously, the child had a fever, how old was the child then, the child was 7 years old then, oh, he very small, he was still small , yes, that is, it’s like... he really, probably, i don’t think, it didn’t even occur to him that he needed to knock or something, why was he pretending, and this it was when, how many years have passed since that episode, 4 years have already passed, 4 years, this story has not resolved, well, that is, okay, it happens, well, maybe something somehow masculine flared up in him, but it didn’t resolve and he didn’t, he

also took it and left altogether, that is, he took the car and drove home, and that is, it remained not some episode, some... but do you see that it has become a system? well, yes, that’s what a child is, he’s like my perception, that he’s like a second child who takes away his mother, not a woman, that’s your child, yours and he even tells me the man himself: you have priority - child, we went to the cinema, you ran around, bought food for this child, and so on, instead of watching a movie there, i say, at that moment i was really trying to ensure your comfort, so that... the child would be busy, yes, and not run there by the cinema hall and didn’t make any noise at all, so he says, no, we just had to tell him sternly that we are there now. to the cinema and you won’t run anywhere, you had to put him in his place, you don’t put him in his place, i don’t know, there are some here, and you live together now, no, we don’t live together, we have the so

-called, like now it’s fashionable to say, guest marriage, but you haven’t thought about joint children, we have a joint child, we have a joint child, yes, it turned out that we have a joint a child, that is, i am a mother of two children, my first child is from a previous marriage, and we also have a common child, who is now 3 years old, and he lives with you, he lives with me , yes, and dad comes, dad comes, this child... the youngest evokes the same feelings in him, no, no, he loves his own, if his child burst in somewhere at the wrong moment, then here they are, your guys, and my mothers, cool guys , and that is, if the younger one does something like this, then no, it’s my little son’s basket, the younger one he even has a screen saver on his phone, that is, not even his daughter from a previous marriage, yes, usually men say that they are more attached to girls, he has him, son.

me, me and my two sons, yeah, there is a man , but of course, we saw the picture, yes, it’s not her who says that, it’s her husband, no, i understand, it’s her husband, that’s not her husband, a man her, the father of her child is yours, no, no, no, no, anastasia says that i want harmony in this ecosystem, and i translate from russian into russian, that is, you... now there are you and two sons and a man, because , judging by what anastasia tells,

the man, he seems to be standing from the side, if you and i draw, well, i’m sitting here , drawing all sorts of pictures, yes, that is, here we need to see that the family is really a family, this is a nuclear family, this is anastasia and two boys, well, that is, you want this... man, and he fits harmoniously into your family, you and your sons, i understand that this is difficult equation, you are provoked, but it is complex, provocative, but yes, of course, yes, you understand what the whole thing is, my friends, in order to generally restore order in any, as you said, family ecosystem, yes, you need to put everyone in their place and call everyone by their proper names. who relates to whom who treats whom how, not in the sense of the quality of the relationship, in the sense of the order of connections, as i see this story, i can

tell, of course, which means we have a charmingly absolutely woman who got married and gave birth to a son, a son certainly gave birth in love, but then something went wrong , the marriage broke up, and this charming woman remained a wonderful son, here she is. there is this story, then a woman, not the mother of a son, but a woman, we are now

navigating the kings, yes, a man appears, a boy who is from his first marriage, he knows that he has a mother, and there is a father, and somehow you probably told him that you were getting a divorce, somehow there was some conversation when we were getting a divorce, he was 3 years old, and that, well, somehow there was no such thing, i can’t say that there was some kind of conversation, that is , he saw that dad and i had conflicts, moreover, in these conflicts, he always seemed to protect me, my mother, yeah, and accordingly, such a conversation, that is, the conversation took place later, when he started asking some questions, why did you and dad divorce and so on, yes , that it happens that people are together, yes, and then they get divorced, misunderstandings arise, which means that my key slogan in life is that we...

at 3 years old you need to talk to your child about divorce, yes, because you, look , as you report, i had conflicts with my husband and my son defended me, that is, for 3 years he he can protect, but he can’t seem to know the truth about what happened and that mom and dad will never be together again, that’s why, but in any case, some kind of conversation took place in the end, and he has it. there is an acceptance that this man and woman will never be together again, it seems to me no, point one, let’s write it down, this is something that later, after our charming conversation, you can take to a psychologist for therapy, yes, that is, what needs to be done , how to talk to a child so that he has the fact of acceptance, well, it’s already passed, yes,

i just have a question, it seems to me that children always hope that their parents... in front of you sits a psychologist whose parents divorced, they are no longer alive, and i still hope that they will measure up, i will finally have mom and dad are together at the table, listen, we are all living people, is this always a very big trauma?

i can’t say anything bad about dad , that is, here i don’t understand how this is correct either, but a child, a child, any child, he deserves to know the truth, you understand, because children are at the level of empathy,

feelings, whatever you want to call it, they know the truth and expect adults to tell him this truth with words through their mouths, for this they can get sick, rebel and do whatever they want, just tell me the truth, tell me that i am a person, which is so valuable to you that you trust me to know the truth, so here i am going to try to formulate things like this, here we have a problem. with an asterisk, you and i have a man who, firstly, did not come into the family, a guest marriage is not a family, let’s we won’t lie to you, yes, and secondly, he conveys in every possible way to the boy, ours, to whom no one tells the truth, along the way, and he conveys rejection to him, if...