whatever you want to call it, they know the truth and expect adults to tell him this truth with words through their mouths, for this they can get sick, rebel and do whatever they want, but just tell me the truth, tell me that i am a human being, which is so valuable to you that you trust me to know the truth, so here i am going to try to formulate things like this, but here you and i have... a problem with an asterisk, you and i have a man who, firstly, did not come to the family, a guest marriage - this is not a family, let us not be disingenuous with you, yes, and secondly, he broadcasts in every possible way to the boy, ours, to whom no one tells the truth along the way, but he broadcasts rejection to him, and if his dad, we assume, yes, we we can’t do that now.

immerse yourself, if the father is a dear, the accepting father, in emotional contact, the accepting mother, who loves all this, then when he encounters rejection from an adult, he does not understand at all what is happening, he does not have such experience, uh-huh, and he will naturally look at mom, mom tries here and there to play two roles at the same time and... then what does this child begin to do when he does not have an adult who begins to protect him, he should start attacking him, in theory he should do something to kick him out, well, because his life is in emotional insecurity, and about the man we are...

talking about today, it’s very important to understand this, i don’t know what life experience he has, we’re actually only talking about you here, yes, but his attitude towards a child from a previous marriage, beloved, we want to believe in this, women would, yes, but he says that, well, firstly, he apparently has something in his history, why does he have such a reaction to a child, this it’s just his projection, it has nothing to do with yours at all. son, but there is, my friends, such a thing in family systems as family hierarchy, and the thing is that first your son appeared in your life, only then this wonderful man appeared, and until this man recognizes this the fact is that this one here is a little beautiful boy, he is higher than him in the hierarchy, this hierarchy is not about what i said, go, but this is about recognition, about

recognition, about respect for the fact that you had a life before him, there was love, and this child was born in love, oh, he really doesn’t want to admit it, by the way, this is the place that you ’re dragging, you’re dragging your past behind you, sometimes we talk to him too, we ’re not silent, we’re fighting, we adults, like civilized people, yes, we are trying to discuss all this, as you say,

and there is no need to sort things out with anyone here, here you and i are about to experience my favorite story, when a woman comes to talk about children, we need to talk about them. anastasia, does your partner accept you completely? it turns out that no, because now there is still a network, the internet, yes, there are a lot of excellent lectures, including many famous psychologists, yes, that is, who say that a woman cannot do it on her own. well, cut off your hand in order to be with me, well, that is, well, that is, pay me for that, so that i consider you my woman, make a sacrifice, make a sacrifice, we have the same theme with make a sacrifice, by the way, it also happened with the second child, well, that’s what we have in common, but tell me it’s so unique, tell me.

second child, i’m ready to tell you, yes, as if in principle this also happens in life, this is life, yes, it’s clear that at the age of 30 you... the moment was also that we arrived, he was with me in the office didn’t go well, i started to cry like a river in the office, the doctor told me: well, i won’t do anything to you, get out office, goodbye, as if we were on our

way, wait, you have already come to have an abortion, yes, that is, the decision has already been made, the decision has been made, in my doctor’s office the tears just start pouring in, i’m silent, my tears are flowing like a hail all. well, how could she be such a woman, she was adequate enough, yes, she just left the office, and how did he take it? so there he began to tell me about the biblical parable about abraham, yes, how he led his son to the mountain, when he raised this sword over his head, yes, that the lord told him that yes, i believe that you are devoted to me, yes, that is, this is a parable that actually speaks not about human relationships, yes, but about a sacrifice actually to god, that is, for... your man, when he cited himself as an example , drew parallels, yes, it was determined that he is the king of god, the king and god, the creator from above, yes, and you, then, let me make a sacrifice in the form of this child, who was still in

the womb of his mother, well, the child was left behind, they left the child, then he says, i’m so glad that you left him, i’m so glad, that is, after all, he was happy later, but the sacrifice by... what will happen if you admit it, it will end, and what will happen then, well, we will break up, but i don’t seem to want to yet, that is , i understand for sure that i want to maintain a relationship with this man, i want to preserve it , but it’s like, in principle, i

’ve known a man for almost 5 years already, yeah, yeah, i ’ve been around for about this time. you can already guess , yes, what kind of reactions a person can give you to certain moments? and now you were talking about admitting, for example, that the child was at first recognizing my past, well, 5 years, yes, we are pouring abuse this, and he doesn’t admit it, that is, you and you, what’s happening, are you talking about him all the time, your focus is on you, with you, what’s happening, i’m offended, and what’s offended, why so, well, that is, you, excuse me, have an expectation from this man that... he will break the spell and say: son, dear, what a blessing that you came into my life with your mother together. no, look, nastya, can i translate, as ekaterina says here, from russian into russian, yes, it seems to me, if i understood correctly, that we are now

we are marking time in one place, and watching this frozen episode, so we have 5 years, listen to all this, yes, let's see what real ways can be. development of the situation, and what will happen in a year, in two, in five, let's try to speculate, because all we hear now is ponies running in circles, nastenka, let's mentally imagine ourselves in a year, and not a fantasy, like how, i want to feel, just try to see the picture, how can you feel, i don’t understand, i... for example, for example, summer, i’m coming in the park, who's next to me? well, the little one will definitely go, so the younger one, that is, you are walking through the park together, yes, the older child

rarely goes anywhere with us, but where is he now? he's probably out with his noisy teenagers, great, where's your man? breathe, nastya, breathe, he didn’t go. how do you feel when you walk through the park in the summer with such a wonderful baby by the hand, you know that your eldest son has already grown up and can mostly walk on his own. there is a feeling of freedom inside, yes, where are you going, and we are going, well, if according to the park, i imagine, for some reason this path that goes to the botanical garden along the kamenka river, you know, there’s a garden there, yeah, we walk, we walk, yes, i like to sit there, i also like to sit there, looking at fontancola from afar, from these steps, uh-huh, wonderful, that’s it. beautiful picture, simply bewitching, absolutely happy woman,

please tell me, we are already back in reality , where is the place for this man, he exists, you didn’t tell me that i haven’t seen him for six months and forgot his name, he is in of your life, but he is not part of your family, this is a psychic podcast and we continue to sort it out. i won’t go in 3 days, literally, i’m packing my things , i’m leaving with two boys, with two

boys we’re flying away, yes, because i felt that my eldest child was so uncomfortable with all this, he asked me every day when we were going home, when we were going home, although he studied at a private school, he was not bullied, but the child was so uncomfortable that i say, we got ready to leave in 3 days, just returned to moscow, and returned to moscow, yes, and the most interesting thing is that he also packed his things after a week and told the job owner, if you don’t like that i work from russia? me there , that is, he went after you, he will return, but at the same time you don’t live together, we don’t live together, fantasy, well, listen, uh, how is this the fantasy that is our ordinary life, but how do you look at the option , in which there is a family, you and your sons, the youngest son has a sunday dad, well, that’s how it is now, and what’s wrong, i don’t have time to meet him during the week. yes, that is, it turns out that the eldest son has his own dad, with whom they

communicate, right, yes, but the youngest son has his own, okay, where am i, baby, where am i? i wasn’t, i want love, warmth, relationships too, i want to sleep in the same bed with a man, wake up, but he either wants it or doesn’t want it, so wait, what i want, he should do, it’s somehow very similar interesting story. you understand what the whole thing is, nastya, you have a request for a family, yes, you have a request for a family, but you chose a man who does not have this request, yes, bingo, and this is very it’s painful to admit, in fact, and this is a very big and long conversation, we didn’t touch on your previous family experience, but why do you choose such men for yourself, well , this is just an open question, but i can tell you how you feel, how you see

, that is, in this situation it’s not about the child at all, of course not, that is, it’s not about your eldest son, in fact, it’s just an excuse, you know what the whole point is, nastya, she just said a completely magical phrase, but what about my baby, i want to lie in one, well , i want warmth, i want hugs, i want this feeling when there is... her family, forgive me that i’m talking about you in the third person, nastin’s eldest son, and he also actually has a request for a family, in fact, what i want to say is that when nastin the eldest son receives rejection from a man, nastya at this moment takes this rejection personally, she perceives it as her rejection, and this is a story about the fact that we are all parents. we react to what happens to our children in the first split second from our inner

child, from that state when i i was 11 years old, well, that is, when my teenage daughter was 13, and she was terribly arguing with her father, which is normal in principle, i didn’t dare to protect her faster at the speed of light, and they didn’t make up after a second, and i was discouraged, then only ... my psychologist also told me, it dawned on me that i was not running to protect my daughter, but i was running to protect myself at 13 years old, who, well, was under severe pressure, let’s call it... this is so, you know, when - you come with a request about your son because it hurts you, i understand when we talk to a man too on these topics, i also tell him in plain text that i perceive this as how you don’t accept me, so you tell me that i have to put him somewhere, and i and that a man, yes i

get you i don’t accept it, what should i do? wait, what do you mean i? what does solvable mean, well then we can give him contacts of good psychologists, and let him go and work with what part of his woman he rejects, no, when he says that it is solvable, what does he mean, can he means that the child will be resettled there, for example, to to his father, i say that it’s like he’s saying, my past lives separately from me, well, wait, you accept your man’s child from your first marriage, well... you see, there’s another point here, that i see her very rarely , yes, i accept her, but what will i do, she is already there, sweet, good girl , beautiful, it’s like, we go there together, we walk, i give her gifts there, how can i accept her, yes, i’m with i don’t wake up, i’m there, no, wait, but you don’t tell your man, what are our plans today, we’re going

there, the man says, my daughter is coming with me , i won’t go anywhere with your daughter, work with her yourself, and i’m there only with my sons, you understand, you do what you do, what concerns and is your basic settings, yes, your basic values, you have an expectation that this person will do the same, but you and oh, we are all different, and what you do does not mean that he will do the same, and this means not because he doesn’t even want to, but because he doesn’t know how. b, he has it somewhere it hurts a lot, forgive me for the diagnoses, here it is, that is, you are looking for what you want where it is not there, well , listen, well, no, it’s clear, but the square will not become round, relatively speaking, from what i want, therefore, and your attitude towards your son has somehow transformed in this

situation over these 5 years, no, no, i had feelings towards my son before that. and be proud that your son has such a father, we’re not talking about a man, my dear, but about the child’s father, mind you, our whole conversation today is about family roles, i don’t i know, friends, i understand that you are now having a dialogue between a psychologist and a client, but from my, so to speak, worldly otherworldly

bell tower, i want to say that in my opinion it is generally immoral, immoral and immoral, infantile. i allow myself to make a value judgment, in principle, to put a woman before a choice, am i a man or your child, but this is just so unnatural for me, this is so anomalous, maybe i’m sorry, of the old formation of conservative views, well guys, well, i would just after that already doubted the normality of this person in the normality of the relationship, this is where i end my assessment part and you can, yes i can. answer about normality and abnormality, from the point of view of, well, the average person, excuse me, yes, but for the ordinary person who watches the program, this is really so, but from my point of view, no, normal, abnormal, there are people whose behavior is somehow dictated, but not out of the blue, this

man behaves this way, i under no circumstances, as a psychologist, should be neutral. yes, and in no case do i want to build some guesses, but somewhere something does n’t click for him, why is he putting a woman before a choice, or well, god bless him again with this man, god bless him, it’s something about you, there’s something, what doesn’t give you the opportunity to call a spade a spade and see the obvious, this man may remain in your life, but he will never become... the one who will give you warmth, family, that’s all, but i still don’t believe in never, nastya, i don’t believe in never and... but i believe that you will find some solutions to this complex problem with an asterisk, what do you think, that maybe you could already feel from this conversation, i would like

to find a solution, of course, well , i felt that in many moments i just need to take it and admit to myself that round is round, square is square and it will never be the other way around, that’s why thank you very much for the opportunity to communicate with yours. an excellent expert, thank you very much for your experience, for your advice, and maybe when anastasia recognizes this square square, then a way out will appear, some kind of solution, then you will feel inner freedom and the desire to live. family psychologist ekaterina sivanova helped anastasia, i hope, take the first steps towards solving this olympiad problem. psych podcast. ekaterina, throughout our conversation you have been drawing something on your piece of paper, can you even show it to us? in fact, these magic icons are

a research method called a genogram. i, as a family psychologist, work with family systems. when i listen to a client, i draw for myself who is who, who it turns out that here there is a civil marriage, well, between anastasia and a man, that... there was a marriage, there was a child, and it gives me such a picture, that is , you know, this is the kind of 3d you get when you then detail all this with you also describe the client, you begin to see patterns, including in family scenarios, in behavioral strategies, well, in general , this is very interesting, this is the method that i use with absolutely all clients, that is, it is a visualization of relationships, family relationships that are possible not for the client obviously, yes, of course, we showed it today. how amazing! well, then we will invite you to draw more diagrams like this. thank you.

hello, dear tv viewers, you are incredibly lucky. today i have a man visiting me. which this year celebrates a round anniversary: ​​leonid yarmolnik, the year of leonid isakovich’s seventieth birthday has arrived. it's very nice to see you. sergey asokin helps us, he knows the instrument, which, by the way, you also mastered as a child, i know that you are a renowned coordian player here. i have a podcast melody of my life. we have known each other for many years, and i just want our hon.

there is literally 2 km to the chinese border , because after the war it was very fashionable, young people all entered military schools, my dad entered, he was given a lieutenant, then with my pregnant mother, they were sent to the far east, that’s where they walked to the maternity hospital , i was born there, i was so handsome, yes, well then here’s the question, the melody of childhood, well, like the radio we always had hanging on the wall, and this one with a rag on... i had my first contact with the song already then 4 the year decided a significant gap between us , of course, if you go for beer, then you will run

, that’s all we have, accepting questions, the first song i performed was in the early sixties, we already had a stove in our house in lvov, and before the new year on a stool, i always wanted to do something to attract the attention of my family. i still had this in me from childhood: no, look at me, i, i, i will entertain you here, the most popular song, which was repeated many times, was buchenval alarm, and i learned this song by heart, and i sang it on a stool, this, well, remember this song, let's go back 65 years, that's because five-year-old lenya, this is vano murodeli, i remember the song, i'm with her just like you also grew up, let's seryozha, people of the world for a minute, stop,

stop! you hear, you hear faster, it’s buzzing from all sides, it’s heard in the bunkenwald, bells are ringing, bells are ringing, it ’s rowing, it’s loved by the whole planet, and it’s rowing, there’s something on the air, people of the world for a minute. this is something that must be said now tv viewers, it’s only possible to sing like that at night, you know, yes, we just sang the song in a different key, it’s okay, to be honest, i’m really surprised, but you actually

have a range. wider than me, i can somehow on three notes yes, as they say in the profession, you ’ve been around for a long time, this song, these are associations with childhood, this is with childhood, of course, how long have you lived in the far east, a year and a half , in my opinion, that is, there was already school, no, no, then they moved to ukraine, then dad was transferred to the carpathian military district, so how would my formation, all my school years be in lvov, is this already in lviv? you have a nose, this is this - the first time in the second grade i collected - scrap metal and i was so screwed that there was such a long wire slept with the thickness incorrectly, but you can imagine, this is how it should be assembled with metal, so that the end of this wire hit my nose, that is, not like that, but no , like this, yes, it hit me in the nose, that was the first, second, in my opinion, in the fifth or sixth

grade - i used the money i saved, which i won at gambling, there was such a game , like this, like this, but there was such a bat made of lead, and the change was folded on the ground, who would throw it closest to this line, then we turn it over, these bent coins, i won so much that i bought a bicycle for 5 rubles, despite the fact that there was no eaglet, and i bought a swallow bicycle, you know, yes, it was on this bicycle that i went to my mother’s sister, to my aunt, and she lived in such a yard, where there is a terribly steep descent to her entrance, and i’m so excited to get there, in short, i’m on the brakes all the way they refused, i drove into the wall , i have about a month, this point is this, this was one line, then this belmand curve turned out, yes, a bend, yes, yes, yes, this, this was my childhood, that i even as

a child, i really loved showing off antlers. taganka, taganka, of course, yes, taganka, taganka, all the film roles, they are already, you, you were already a taganka artist, or while you were a student, what, no, when i was a student, the first films there were those that were completely i had small episodes, i think the film was called your rights, autumn call, well, some little things, little things, little things, we all wanted to act, we lived in the same dorm with sashka abdullov, he was a year older, he was in his second year, i was in

my first. well, we were running around the mass film , looking into every door, yes, yes, this, this , by the way, is a photograph of a brilliant photographer, a master, valera carpenters was photographing this, this is what i was photographing from uala surikovo, this was a picture of two arrows, wow, two arrows, and sashka, in my opinion, starred in rom balayan, lady magbeth, look, uh, somehow i don’t even want to to focus on a pronounced film career or theater, this is together with... the most bomb for me, you are the first person, i know, the absolute first discoverer of the eighties, i don’t know, this is due to the fact that lyubimov left taganka, yes , you were the first to say, you know, that i will work for myself, this moment is an unheard-of courage, because then we are all somehow at the philharmonic, how can you do it for yourself, you

went to stage it. i would not romanticize this period, the fact is that yuri petrovich lyubimov did not leave the theater, he left his homeland, then he was deprived of citizenship, it’s all known to everyone, the leadership was changed. certificate of the all-russian theater society, and somehow i was like that, i was such a cowboy that no one really needed , you know, an absolutely free artist, well , somehow everything worked out, there were some works on television, some works in cinema, but

if you’ve already started talking about cinema, then probably the beginning of my film biography is like the present, in 1978 i starred in a detective story, in 1978 i starred in the same one. the detective is very dear to me, i periodically i forget the name of this film, for some reason , probably, the majority of those living in the post-soviet space remember the moment where lenya is standing on a motorcycle, come on, and i don’t remember, vadik zakharchenko is sitting, he says all the time, don’t growl, all this takes place against the backdrop of the house where i was born and raised, this is the arch, the yau boulevard house.

connected with a motorcycle, and there is a policeman who comes up, it was the director of this film, the wonderful director vladimir foykin, whom i call my godfather in cinema, because he was the first to decide to act, to film a person with such a face in a movie, and then there was zakharov, your birthday is in winter, and i want, since we have known each other for a very long time, i know that lenya, to put it mildly, does not like mass holidays, especially in her honor, so i always congratulated him, either he... is on the slopes skiing, or he is traveling with his family, i want to give you a small new year's gift, your birthday is in the winter, so these are the years we have been taking tagankas, this is eduard khil, this is a little winter song at the edge of the forest,

here in honor of your birthday, let's just go at a pace like this, near the forest on the edge, winter lived in a hut, it snowed with salt.

everyone is little and lyonya had a swimming pool , it was an incredibly hot summer, and lyonya already had a swimming pool, he dialed and said: “come to me, let the child spend time,” and i hung around lyonya’s house all day long, we played billiards , discussed some plans, abela, explain correctly, it was so long ago that only i had a pool, a pool at the dacha, i can’t guess, this will be it. it’s true, only you had a pool, this time, then at we had a lot of trips, and even you and i had fun, but it wasn’t that long ago, some 10-15 years ago, we had a couples’ show in italy, yes, it was

very funny, uh, we were there they mocked us, teased our administrator, in general, everything was fun, friends, joyful. that you are still with us on the air of the melody of my life podcast, and leonid yarmolnik, who said that he is 70, is simply some erroneous manifestation of age. here he is, a young, smiling villager, i interrupted you a little, there were a lot of bright and episodic films, suddenly lenya makes a barracks, there was such a film, this is your first production work, barracks, no, the first one is the moscow vacation, sala, this is ninety or more moscow vacations - this is with selezneva, yes, the main role, we play together, then. there was a barracks, and this is a completely different movie, because

the majority of our viewers associated you with you as a comedian, always and here an absolutely serious movie, such a tribute to your parents, and after that i want to say, you stuck to this line very well and as a producer, and as an actor, barak was a significant picture, because in 2000 we received a state prize for this picture.

i have played such episodes for many years, either abnormal or criminals, and these are already such roles, well then, so i say with pride, i will tell you myself, leonid dials me and says, valer, listen, out of friendship, your song is needed in a movie , i desperately need a song , there’s no money, i say, like there’s no money, he says, well, you won’t believe it, todarovsky and i , that’s it, everything is in the picture, but you’ll like the theme, boogie on the bones, that’s how it should be from the beginning. was the film that we all know and love is called a film by the dudes, i’m giving away what

is needed, i’m lazy, i officially want the whole country to hear it, i know that the dudes didn’t enrich you financially, but you just got enormous pleasure from paintings and delivered the main thing to the audience, so the fact that i gave away for free what was needed in the film, was returned to me by an innumerable number of parties after the release of the film, when... again the interest in who dances the best in vista rock'n'roll, here and think no need, you have become an example for everyone the rest, because in the film there were a lot of songs, hits from the eighties, yes , i referred to you, and almost all the songs that sound there were given to me and valera for free, and garik sukachev, well, in general, everything and a small fragment there . in fact about lenya,

you don’t notice me from your height, your beauty, i even allowed the words to be changed in the film, because it’s necessary, but it will still be night, and you won’t spoil it for me, yet... you’ll find out, just the lyrics of such a song , let me be nobody today, and let them tell you that i’m not, but give me this day, give me this night, give me at least one chance, and you will understand, it... is what you need, so, lyon, right about you, by the way, i

remembered, zhenya zhmargules once helped you in your search , in my opinion, here, if you already remembered about the selyak, then for a very long time, six months, we were looking for this musical move, it was found, i think that lenya agutin will not be offended by me, the fact is that at first it was it was decided that lenya would write songs and music for this film. he wrote about five songs, these songs are alive, they are even in some albums in len, but then somehow we realized that it must be associative. along with this time and naturally with old hits , and zhenya margulis came up with this move, whom i adore, whom i love, for me this is such an eternal shanghai blues, by the way, it’s also mine, because it was in zhenya margulis’s kitchen, he complained that it is very difficult

to write lyrics for blues in russian, because, unlike english, it is much more difficult to listen organically in blues. and i actually had to write in a hurry, here are the shanghai blues, come on zhen, you special hello, yes, yes, wifey, he also had a birthday last december, though it’s not a round date, but they still sleep, a long, long time ago, when we didn’t care what to drink, like...

dear friends, you are watching the melody of my life podcast, i am its host valery syutkin, today my guest is leonid yarmalnik, tell me, here... an interesting moment for me, initially the kvn jury, and then tv projects with yours, which you personally, in fact , if i'm not mistaken, the el-club-club was invented by vlad listev, lenya yakubovich, me, and several other people, i remember walking around this supermarket with a cart, picking up something there, yes, yes, yes, yes, no, this ale club was invented in the gazebo. at my dacha, just when we got together, and it was all born, it was a program that lived on television for many years, brought me incredible popularity, well, from the point of view of recognition, and then there were many programs, i remember this what i call greed, you were there with

golden hair, she’s a gold rush, but that’s the image they came up with for you, it’s just that this is an idea.

and if we are talking about some kind of literal recognition of popularity, of course this has been provided by television before and today, but what is surprising is that recently, if i have already talked about this, if you are there once a week or there once a month or every you’ve been on the air for a week, then naturally everyone will recognize you absolutely, but as soon as you go off the air for some reason, after a month and a half or two , that’s it, that’s it. i’ve already encountered this many times , not... i personally watched, as it were, a biography my friends, it seems to me that it's simple the speed of time, the eventfulness is very high, and we don’t cling, we used to retell the film to each other, but today, but today there is still such a thing as the internet.