well, i don’t know, i would even like to remain silent, but i want, i want to agree with you, you are right in saying that this is not a matter of saying some words, he knew what he was talking about, he really was a patriot, not just the words, we all know, we all know the words, how one should, how one should talk about one ’s country, what patriotism is, there was something else in it, it was the absolute truth, what you say is absolutely sincerity, absolute sincerity, the feeling of being part of this... the huge history of this people, he was not talking about someone, not abstractly, this is this was his life, was that's why these songs will definitely sound, they are difficult to sing , this word is sincere, it is translated from latin from italian bezvozka, literally, just when they were working on the marble and the marble cracked, to save many days of work, a crack they filled it with wax, but the fact that a masterpiece was made without wax, that’s why it coincides, so we say.

uh-huh, these are the songs of allegories, when, it would seem, on the subject that is included in the title of the song, a picture of completely different bright, human feelings is created, before we talk about the main thing, about friendship, about faith, let's listen to a song about a friend , vladimir vasovsky, if a friend.

suddenly he turned out to be neither a friend nor an enemy, but if you can’t immediately figure out whether he’s good or bad, take the guy to the mountains, take a risk, don’t leave him alone, let him be in a team with you, then you’ll understand who such. this is from the vertical, yes, from the movie vertical, all the sixties, the whole life of vladimir vasotsky, it is ascending all the sixties, in the seventies, i remember, it is an absolute boom, listen to vysotsky, all these magnetic tape, this is a torn film, glued together with my mother's nail polish remover , floating, it would seem, the voice of the tape, this is all on...

you are watching the podcast melody of my life, today we are talking about vladimir vysotsky, a friendship that has lasted for many years...

anyway, it’s time there, he ’s much younger than me now, yes, i’m looking at him, yes, well , my eldest son will soon be the same age as he is now on the screen. here he is - he is a very young man, and he is for young people, and the people who perceived him, they were young, and you call the guys, they, they bright, good, these are my friends , i love them very much, it is very important to me that at one time , uh, they supported me, not just me, yes, they, of course, in some sense supported me, they are my friends, but they, they supported this, this theme of vysotsky, i just want to say that it is very important that people come to vysotsky... of a different generation, who are younger, who, who are included, now include him in their repertoire, just in the sphere of your interests, this is this, this is very important, come to vysotsky, it seems to me that life with him, she, she is richer than without

him, not only him, no need to say there , that’s what i’m not like, that i’m just vysotsky, more, i grew up in an intelligent family, i love pasternak, there , i love gomyalev, i love yesenin, i love ... brodsky, well, i love modern ones, i don’t know, there’s ryzhiy, a wonderful poet, with a tragic fate, there, i don’t know, and many whom i love, but with them, with them it’s better than without them, with vysotsky, better than without vysotsky, you know, i really liked what we have here today sounded because we will talk about vysotsky when he is 90, our children and grandchildren will celebrate other round, already three-digit, maybe... frands, as christian dior said, if i’m not mistaken, it’s not enough to catch the eye, you have to sink into the mind. vysotsky is etched in the memory of our people absolutely forever. mega, what are your

love songs? this is the word love, everything that fills you with this word, this is the song association? there is such a song called. there's such a drink there that i'm walking on a rainy street, there's the smell of rain, the same houses, the same trees, the same people, and i walk my way to school, and i realize that i

will never be a child, and then it begins that this smell brought me back to... childhood memories, and they suddenly came , and i realize, once again it is repeated there, that everything, this will not happen again, it has already happened, these are my heightened feelings i left on this street, as a memory from me, then there is such a text that only you and i know, what color is the sky, only you and i know how the sun can warm, this is a novel in a novel, so to speak, to name, this is reality and childhood , all these feelings pass into each other, and the melody, i have two children, sidonia and barbary, i played with them, i played with them in my head subconsciously, i was looking for a melody for this text, i i found this one specifically.

მე და შენ ვიცი, თუ რაფერი აქვს ცას, მე და შენ ვიც ი, თუ რა თბილია მზე, მიყვარს. ხარ მეთქი და ვერ დაგაჯერე, მიყვარხარ მეთქი და ვ ერ მოგახედე, ლაე ლა ლა

ლა რა ლა ლა ლა! ნაწვიმარ ქუჩაზე, ნაცნობი სუნი დგას, ნაცნობი კა დრები, ნაცნობი განცდების, ისევ ის ხები, სახლები, ხალხი, და წლების მერე მე, სკოლის გზას გავდივარ, ვხვდები თუ რომ... მარტივად გავზრდ ილვარ, მარტივად გავზრდილვარ, ისევ ის

ქუჩები, ხახ ლები, ხალხი, დაწლების მერე მე, სკოლის გზას გავდი ვარ, მარტივად გავზრდილვა, ლაი ლა ლა ლა

მე და შენ ვ იცით თუ რა ფერი აქვს ცას მე და შენ ვიცით თუ... თბილია მზეო, მიყვარხარ მეთქი და ვერ დ აგაჭერე, მიყვარხარ მეთქი და ვერ მოგახედე, ლაე ლა რა,

ის შევისხები სახლები და ხალხი და წლების მერ ე მე, სკოლის გზას გავდივარ, რა მარტივად გავდდივა რ, წვიმის სუნი დგას ნამიან ქუჩაზე. და მე ვხვდები, რომ ვეღარ ვიბავშვებ, ვეღარ ვიყავ შებ, მე და შენ ვიცით, თუ რა ფერი აქვს

dear friends, we remembered today and will remember tomorrow about vladimir vysotsky, because he is always in our hearts now, he lives with us, many thanks to megga, gogetidze and nikita vysotsky, they were our guests today on our podcast melodies of my life. continues, but we will always remember our heroes. hello, my name is natalya loseva and this is a psychic podcast in which we continue to calculate the formula for happiness, or at least everyday joy. our today the heroine anastasia came with the following question: her

current lover, her current man does not accept her son from a previous marriage, and the expert in today’s episode, a famous psychologist, family psychologist, ekaterina sivanova, who knows this situation, both as a specialist and as a woman. hello, hello, well anastasia, tell us your story. the story is, yes, that i have a b... previous marriage behind me, in this marriage i had a son, yes, but it turned out that we divorced my husband, and accordingly, but as it were, everything anyway, we are all women, we want... a relationship , yes, i started a relationship with a man, we met him, as if on, well, to be honest, on a dating site, yes, everything was basically good, beautiful, romantic , but at some stage problems began in the relationship, they began due to the fact that i have a child from a previous marriage, yes, and he immediately knew that you had a child, yes, yes,

yes, yes, then i go so far as to even write this in my profile on the website, because i think that you shouldn’t start a relationship with some kind of silence. definitely something to be ashamed of, conflicts began, well, yes , misunderstandings began, and it also turned out that we have, he also has an ex-wife, there is a child in a previous marriage, yes, only a girl, that’s it, but the girl lives with his ex-wife, so yes, and you said that the conflicts started somehow in connection with the child with yours, but you can tell me, if we take the very beginning of the relationship, we went to the pharmacist. vegetable garden, listened to a wonderful music concert, went, then, respectively, to restaurant, yes, we ate, we came home, and the child was put to bed, of course, it was already late in the evening, and we went there to continue communicating together, at some point the child ran into our room, yes, he actually ran in, his temperature rose, he came running to complain that he felt bad, at

that moment, instead of support there, he... fell into some second little child who was taking his mother away from him, and why, why did he run to us, so unceremoniously , the child has a fever, how old is the child it was then, the child was 7 years old then, oh, he’s very small, he was still small, yes, that is, how would he really, probably, i don’t think, it didn’t even occur to him that he needed to knock or something something like that, why did he run in, and this was when, how many years have passed since that episode, 4 years have already passed, 4 years and this... the story has not resolved, well, that is, well, okay, it happens, well, maybe there, something somehow masculine flared up in him, didn’t dissipate, and he didn’t, he also took it and left altogether, that is, he took i drove the car home, and that is, it remained not some episode, some kind of excess, but you see that it has become a system, well, yes, that’s what a child is, he

’s like my perception, that he’s like a second child , who... takes away his mother, not his woman, here is your child, yours and he , even the man himself tells me, your priority is the child, so we went to the cinema, you ran around buying food for this child and so on instead of watching a movie, i say, at that moment i was really trying to ensure your comfort, so that the child was busy, yes, but he didn’t run around the cinema hall and didn’t make any noise at all, so he says, no , you just had to tell him sternly that... now we’re there at the cinema and you won’t run anywhere, you should have staged him in his place , you don’t put him in his place , i don’t know how it is here, but you live together, no, we don’t live together, we have a so-called, as it ’s fashionable to say now, guest marriage, and you haven’t thought about having children together , we have a child together, we have a child together, yes, yes, it turned out that we have a joint child, that is, i am a mother of two children, my first child is from a previous

marriage, and we also have a common child, who is now 3 years old, and he lives with you, he lives with me, yes, and dad comes, dad comes . this youngest child evokes the same feelings in him, but no, that is, no, he loves his own, if his child burst into her somewhere at the right moment, then here they are, yes your guys, and my mothers, cool boys , and that is, if the younger one does something like this, then no, it’s a little son, a basket, his youngest even has a screensaver on his phone, that is, not even his daughter from a previous marriage, yes, usually men say that they are more attached to girls.

there is a family, me and my two sons, yeah , and there is a man, but of course, they saw the picture, so it’s not her who says that, it’s her husband, no, i understand, it’s her husband, that’s not her husband, it ’s her man , the father of her child, ours, no, no, no, no, anastasia says that i want harmony in this ecosystem, and i translate from russian into russian. that is, you now have you and two sons and a man, because - judging by what anastasia tells , the man, he seems to be... standing from the side, if you and i draw, well, i’m sitting here , drawing all sorts of pictures, yes, that is, here you need to see that a family is really a family , uh,

nuclear family, this is anastasia and two boys, that is, you want this man, and he uh, fits harmoniously into your family, you and your sons, i understand that this is... being provoked, well, it complex, provocative, but yes, of course, you understand what it’s all about, my friends, in order to generally put things in order in anyone like you they said, ecosystem, family, yes, we need to put everyone in their place and call everyone by their proper names, who relates to whom, how they relate to whom, not in the sense of the quality of the relationship, in the sense of the order of connections, as i see this story, i can tell you, of course , which means we have a completely charming woman who got married and gave birth to a son, she certainly gave birth to a son in love, but

then something went wrong, and the marriage broke up, and this charming woman remained a wonderful son, here she is family , she's after the divorce a family was formed, mother, son, there are two of them, there are two of them in this family, but psychologists call it a nuclear family, yeah. here you are with your son, and there is a father, we haven’t made it clear here, he is generally present in your son’s life, oh, what good news, it’s just that you and your ex-husband are great for maintaining these roles, mom and dad, and accordingly, there is this story, then the woman, not the mother of her son, but the woman, we are now getting our bearings in the roles, yes, a man appears. a boy who is from his first marriage, he knows that he has a mother and there is a dad, and somehow you probably told him that you were getting a divorce, somehow there was

some conversation when we were getting a divorce, he was 3 years old, so what? well, somehow it wasn’t like that, i can’t say that there was some kind of conversation, that is, he saw that my dad and i had conflicts, and in these conflicts he always seemed to protect me, my mother, yeah, and accordingly, such a conversation. that is , the conversation took place later, when he started asking some questions there, why did you and dad divorce and so on, yes, that’s it it happens that people are together, yes, and then they get divorced, then misunderstandings arise, which means that my key slogan, yeah, in life, is that in the moment we do the only thing that we are capable of here now, but since we want our audience received , among other things, new knowledge, then i will say: that at the age of 3 you should talk to a child about divorce, yes, because you, look at how you report

that i had conflicts with my husband and my son defended me, then there is a year he can defend, but know the truth about what happened and that mom and dad will never be together again, it’s as if he can’t, that’s why, but in any case, some kind of conversation took place. hopes that her parents will reconcile, because i have a friend my age, her parents divorced when she was, well, at a more or less conscious age, she was told all this in the moment, all this was explained, and

she is more than 30 years old, she is still thinking, suddenly, of course, this is a traumatic situation, in front of you sits a psychologist whose parents divorced, they are no longer alive, and i i still hope that they will face off, i will finally have mom and dad together at the table, listen, we are all living people, and this is always a very big deal... why am i asking the question about divorce now? because in our description of the story there is a theme: a man does not accept his son from his first marriage, but the son , as i understand it, is not delighted, but why should he be delighted? they brought him, he takes away his mother, he also killed his brother, who also takes away his mother, this is a hint. we continue to analyze the story of our heroine anastasia, a man who accepts her child from a previous marriage, but

you need to talk to the child when... such a situation that this man, this uncle, came to the family, so that for you, not in the sense of being a dad, but besides the dad there is others, probably roles, functions and some values, right? but i can’t tell him that maxim should be your dad, yes, for example, i can’t tell him that, he won’t have a dad, because the child has a dad, he ’s alive, he’s healthy, he works great as a surgeon, he saves lives people, yes, that is, as it were, i can’t say anything bad about dad , that is, here i don’t understand how this is right either, a child, a child, any child, he deserves to know the truth, you understand, because children are at the level of empathy, feelings, whatever you want to call it , they know the truth and expect adults to tell him this truth with words through their mouths, they can

be sick for this, in order to formulate things like this, here you and i have a problem with an asterisk, and that’s why i’ll be here to be honest, you and i have a man who, firstly, didn’t come to the family, a guest marriage is not a family, let’s not be disingenuous with you, but... and secondly, he broadcasts in every possible way - to the boy, ours, to whom no one tells the truth, the campaign, and he broadcasts his rejection

. an adult, he doesn’t understand what ’s happening at all, he doesn’t have such experience, yeah, and he, naturally, will look at his mother , the mother is trying here and there, to play two roles at the same time, both the mistress, excuse me, and the mother, and then there’s this, the younger son as a backup dancer, yes, then what does this child begin to do when he doesn't have... an adult who starts to protect, he should start attacking him, in theory, he should do something to kick him out, well, because his life is in emotional insecurity, and about the man about whom we are talking today, it is very important to understand this, i don’t know, what kind of life experience does he have? we ’re actually just talking about you here, yes, but his

attitude towards the child is different from the previous one. only then this wonderful man appeared, and until this man recognizes this fact, that this little beautiful boy, he is higher than him in the hierarchy, this hierarchy is not about what i said, you go, but this is about recognition, about recognition, about respect for the fact that you had a life before him, there was love, and this child

was born in love. oh, he really doesn’t want to admit it, by the way, this is the place for he says that you are dragging, you are dragging your past behind you, so we sometimes talk to him too, we are not silent, we swear, we are adults, like civilized people, yes, we try to discuss all this, that’s how you speak in words through the family, he says, yes, you’re dragging your past with you , or everything would be fine if you left the child there with dad, but i can’t leave him with dad. there is no need to sort things out with anyone here, here we are with you and now my favorite story will happen when women come talk about children, but we need to talk

about them... does your partner accept you completely? it turns out that no, because now there is still a network, the internet, yes, there are a lot of excellent lectures, including many... famous psychologists, yes, that is, yes, who say that a woman cannot there to separate the child, this is her part of the body, there is an arm, a leg, a tail and so on, yes, and there he calls on a woman to abandon her child, this is tantamount to saying , well, cut off your arm in order to be with me, well, this, well, that is, pay me so that i consider you my woman, make a sacrifice, make a sacrifice, we have the same issue with make a sacrifice, by the way, it was with... with our second child, well, that’s what we have in common , but tell me, it’s so unique, tell me, this is important, the second child, i’m ready to tell you, yes, as if in principle this also happens in life, this is life, yes, it’s clear that there you

meet at the age of 30, no just to read poetry to each other, well, at some point we flew to barcelona for the weekend, we flew together, and three of us arrived, that is, an unplanned pregnancy, yes, yes, and such an unplanned one, we were given less than a week to see the doctor, these are also the points that we learned not in the cycle in which it happened, even later, that is, there are already some... then to think about it, when we arrived and accordingly, at this moment we found out, there are such physiological things that happened that we arrived, he did not go to the office with me, tears happen like a river in my office. the doctor tells me, well, i won’t do anything to you, leave the office, until dates, as if we were going, wait, you have already come to have an abortion, yes, that is , the decision has already been made, the decision has been made , in my doctor’s office the tears just start pouring in, i’m silent, my tears

are still flowing like a hail , well, as if such a woman’s wife was quite adequate, yes, she just said leave the office, and how he took it, so he started telling me about the biblical parable about... she left him, so glad, that is, that’s all- then he was overjoyed, but the sacrifice was still from

they left, then he says, i’m so glad that you want you, no, so there, someone , well, look, my friends, he can want anything, now it’s important to understand what nastya wants, well, taking into account. .. what we have already said, that you may have seen something new, perhaps some sensations , new feelings arise, you know, i now have some kind of feeling, maybe even, well, i don’t want to admit it, what exactly, the hopelessness of the relationship, because what will happen if you admit it will end, and what will happen then, well, we let's break up, but i don't seem to want to yet, that is , i definitely... understand that i want to maintain a relationship with this man, i want to preserve it, but as if, in principle, i've known the man for almost 5 years already, yes, i'm about during this time you already assume, yes, what reactions a person can

give you to certain moments, now you were talking about recognition, for example, of the fact that the child was at first when i recognized it has passed, but 5 years , yes, we have been pouring out this situation and he doesn't admit it, that is. and you are with you, what is happening, are you talking about him all the time, your focus on you, what's happening to you? i’m offended, but what’s offended? why is that? well, that is, you - excuse me, have an expectation from this man that he will break the spell and say: dear son, what a blessing that you came into my life with your mother together? no, look, nastya! can i translate, as ekaterina says, from russian into russian, yes, it seems to me, if i understood correctly, that we are now marking time, but we are watching this frozen episode, so we have 5 years, listen to this, yes, let's see which ones

there may be real ways of developing the situation, but what will happen in a year, in two, in five, let's try to speculate, because all we hear now is ponies running in circles, nastenka, let's mentally imagine ourselves in a year, not a fantasy , it seems like i want it to feel exactly like that. who's next to me? well, the little one will definitely go, so the younger one, that is, you are walking through the park , for example, for example, it’s summer, i’m walking through the park , just the two of us, yes, the older child rarely goes anywhere with us, but where is he now? maybe, walking with these teenagers, noisy, great, but where is yours?

man, breathe, nastya, breathe, he didn’t go, how do you feel when you walk through the park in the summer, holding such a wonderful baby by the hand, you know that the eldest son has already grown up, he can walk on his own, mostly freely, there is a feeling of freedom inside , yes, where are you going, and we are going, well, if in the park, i imagine, for some reason this is it... for this man, he exists, you didn’t tell me

that i haven’t seen him for six months and i forgot his name, he is in your life, but he is not part of your family. this is a psychic order and we continue to analyze the story of our heroine anastasia, a man who does not accept her child from a previous marriage. i just want to add one point, we tried to live together, yeah. and the man works as an it specialist, works for a large foreign company, and accordingly he, well , we left for him and lived there with him for some period of time, i left first, i just with at some point, i still i’ll go, i won’t go, i’ll go, i won’t go, literally in 3 days i ’m packing my things and leaving with two boys, with we are flying away with two boys, yes, because i felt that my eldest child was so uncomfortable in all of this, he asked me every day when we were going home,

when we were going home, although he studied at a private school, he was not offended, but the child was so uncomfortable that i say, we got ready to leave in 3 days, just returned to moscow, and returned to moscow, yes, and the most interesting thing is that he also packed his things, a week later he told the job to the giver, if you don’t like that i work from russia, you can see me there, that is, he went for you, he will return to the country, but at the same time you don’t live together , we don’t live together, it’s fantasy, well, listen, how is this the fantasy that is our... ordinary life, but how do you look at the option in which there is a family, you and your sons, the youngest son has a sunday dad, well, that’s what we have now, and what’s wrong is that i don’t have time to meet him during the week, and what’s wrong is that it turns out that the eldest son has his own dad with whom they communicate, right, yes, well, the youngest son has his own, okay, where am i, baby, where am i? i wasn't, i want it too

love, warmth, relationships, i want to sleep in the same bed with a man, but he either wants it or doesn’t want it, so wait, he should do what i want, it’s somehow a very interesting story, you understand what it’s all about , nastya, you have a request for a family, yes, you have a request for a family, but you chose a man who does not have this request, yes bingo. and it’s really painful to admit, and this is a very big and long conversation, we didn’t touch on your previous family experience, but why do you choose such men for yourself, well, this directly open question, can i ask, i can say, that is, i can ask both of you and how you feel, how you see, that is, in this situation it’s not about the child at all, of course not? that is, it’s not about your eldest son , in fact, it’s just an excuse, you know

what the whole point is, nastya, she just said an absolutely magical phrase: what about my baby, i want to lie in one, well, i want warmth, i want hugs , i want this feeling when there is a family, her, forgive me that i’m talking about you in the third person, nasty’s eldest son, and he also actually has a request for a family, in fact, what i want to say is that... when nastya’s eldest son receives rejection from a man, nastya at that moment takes this rejection personally, she perceives him as yours. belief, and this is a story about the fact that we, all parents, react to what happens to our children in the first split second from our inner child, from that state when i was 11 years old, that is, when my my teenage daughter was 13, and she had a terrible fight with

father, which is normal in principle, i rushed to protect her faster at the speed of light, they made peace through. for a second, and i was discouraged, then only my psychologist told me, it dawned on me that i was not running to protect my daughter, but i was running to protect myself at 13 years old, who, well , was under severe pressure, let’s call it that, you know , when you come with a request about your son, because it hurts you, i understand, when he and a man and i also talk about these topics, i...

first marriage, you know, this is different you accept your man’s child from the moment that i see her very rarely, yes i accept her, but what will i do, she is already there, sweet, good girl, beautiful, as if we go there together for walks, i give her gifts there , what, how can i take it? yes, i don’t wake up with her, i’m there, no, wait, but you don’t tell your man what our plans are today, we’re going there, the man says, my daughter is coming with me, i ’m not going anywhere with your daughter, get busy with her myself, and i’m there only with my sons, you understand, you -

do what you do, what concerns and is your basic settings, right? well, no, well, it’s clear, but it won’t become square or round, but relatively speaking , it depends on what i want, therefore, but your attitude towards your son has somehow transformed into this situation over these 5 years, honestly, no, to my son, no, i had moments with my son even before that when he annoyed me, but they started more precisely at the moment of divorce,

when i start, you start to see your ex- husband, and it just starts to hit you, damn it, oh my , why is it already like this and the older he is... becomes, the more he becomes like dad, who should he look like? and what are we going to do with the other half of what the father of this child put in you? well, yes, just admit that he put it there, and be proud that your son has such a father, we are not talking about the man, my dear, but about the father of the child. please note, our entire conversation today is about family roles, i don’t know, friends, i understand that you are now having a dialogue between a psychologist and a client, but i am from my, so to speak, worldly other side i want to say that in my opinion, it is generally immoral, immoral and...