mm, this feeling of inferiority, or something, probably like this, and you are inferior without children, stamp it in your passport, it turns out, well, probably fully, yes, after all, as if i were a person and social, and i live, probably , the way i like it, in principle, but i don’t know, you know, this is a question, and it’s probably a question in someone’s head, or which , well, like, for example, you ask about the new year, yes , where will you be for the new year? the person just asked, and of course it’s already running for you, and accordingly for you there is no family, no children, and in general you don’t seem to celebrate the christmas tree, in your head, either about children, or about marriage, for example, they may ask that you are 32 years old, and you have not been married, or there , and you don’t have children, and it’s also as if the person perhaps just asked, and he may not even know why he asked this, but inside you it’s still like, but since... he asked,

which means that, probably, at 32, everyone was already married or had children, and somehow their life passed for a reason, not in vain. well, yes, einstein actually made all his major discoveries before the age of 32, well, you’re not einstein, i see you’re not einstein, that’s obvious, but the fact that you’re not einstein makes you inferior, probably not, well, somehow it’s a feeling that you are somehow living in vain. well, if you celebrated the new year in the company of people like you, who are 30 plus and no one has children, no one was married, no one built a career, it would be easier for you, but probably not, well... then i see such companies less and less often, this is age-related, but there is also such a thing as , for example, that girlfriends who get married, friends who get married, they usually stop...

gave and that unmarried people can ruin it all, for married people, yes, that is, they are like that some kind of danger, yes, it is, this is a source of danger, it’s also dangerous, great, thank you, i’m asking if you have the feeling that your friends are abandoning you, leaving you, leaving, no, there’s no such thing, but i can for my part to say that if, when i'm in a relationship, then i'm probably just less it becomes interesting, that is, the range of interests somehow changes. of course, this is what i

’m talking about, and it’s great that you confirm this, well then it can’t help but cause a certain loneliness, because it’s as if some kind of rejection is happening, that is, every year some more people go to other cars , on other trains, and travel in some kind of their own way, around you there seem to be fewer and fewer of them, i have an assumption that this may cause anxiety, a feeling of inadequacy in the circle, well, no, i rather don’t feel that way, uh-huh. how are you you feel like it’s the eve of the holiday , what you’re talking about is this feeling of loneliness, yes, sometimes it’s certainly present, especially here most likely before the new year, because there ’s also something like that, that it’s a family holiday, all the films are about that , that everyone is putting up, everyone is doing well, everything is fine , that’s why i always leave for the new year, i go to places where there is no new year, that’s when there is such a problem, there is no such problem,

so what prevents me from living just like that within your society? well, this feeling comes from somewhere, it comes from the fact that you are inside the collective unconscious, but at the same time, inside this collective unconscious , you feel your own inferiority, that ’s all, then there are two options: either you need to go crazy along with everyone else, or step aside and give the opportunity. regardless

of the achievement, the criteria for this achievement, the criteria of some general society that determines success or failure, well, the only question here is, in my opinion, which, which of these paths can be chosen, that is, for usefulness there are no criteria, usefulness , there is only one criterion, this is a feeling of one’s own usefulness , and what does this feeling of completeness consist of, yeah, in my opinion, from the sense of self-worth that is given to a person upon... the fact of his birth, the feeling of dignity itself is comparable with pregnancy, you can’t be a little pregnant, that’s right, either you’re pregnant or you’re not, and it’s the same here, or you have this same sense of self-worth, which means your own integrity, worthiness, yes, integrity, let’s take it away now

usefulness, and if you don’t have something there, you no longer have usefulness, and therefore no dignity, it’s obvious, war has been declared on me, the only thing i... don’t know yet is who commands the enemy army? i know that you promised metro on the day of my coming of age, i can’t live without him, we ’re going to have a child, get ready for the wedding, grigory grigorievich, there’s a plague in moscow, no one will leave the city until the infection is destroyed, and what’s strange about that i am calling you, asking you to come, but you don’t come, what is the reason, i i don’t want to be the next one. the second lieutenant is sick, he has something behind his head, he raised his hand against the queen, against god’s anointed, you want me to kill the self-deceived, if only i was sure that she is a self-deceived, let’s talk like men, great, golden age, great premiere,

tomorrow after the program, what do i want to talk about, what of what i experienced deserves attention? cities, warriors, conspiracies, revolutions, plunged me into many native thresholds and threw me across continents, adventures, into many dangerous adventures, what motivated me, who i was, who i became?

alexander prokhanov, confession, premiere, tomorrow on the first, it doesn’t happen that a person was in your life, so he disappears, even if he dies, in this girl. he almost doesn’t recognize the child who 5 years ago lost his most precious thing, his mother. i don't think i'm without her. i have a bunch of memories, well, this is my mother. yulia nachalova died very young, at 38, leaving her beloved daughter vera to her parents and ex-husband. i said that, unfortunately, i have very difficult news for you, that mom is no longer with us. what he experienced at that moment, that evening, only he knows. it's a big responsibility to tell your child. that his mother passed away, how did yulia’s only daughter survive this loss, what path did she go after her mother’s death? i’m somehow very mega-strong, somehow i felt like i pulled myself together, that is, our exclusive 5 years of the adult life of a girl who decided at all costs to become a star in memory of

her famous mother . when you appeared the light, my life has changed, i will always be by your side. and exclusive with dmitry borisov, premiering on saturday on the first. you are watching the triggers podcast, with you is its leading psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, our guest is elena, with whom we talk about anxiety during the holidays. have you ever had, well , there must have been some period of your life when you didn’t feel that way, precisely in the context of the holidays, right? well, in childhood, it was probably like that, but why? i thought about this because in childhood it’s as if this doesn’t exist comparisons, that this is how it is or what is not , well, as if you live with your parents, well, in general, in principle, yes, you live such a life, here

it is, you have it, you go to school there, you celebrate, you are together there or not together , well, in general, as if this is the only scenario, you don’t even think about what...

which allows me, of course, i felt exactly the same 15 years ago, just at some point i just realized that i don’t want to play into this hysteria, and i’m going to a place where there is no holiday, once i had one like this story: i’m walking alone and along one of these remote, remote villages in the south of india in tamil nadu, where people generally do n’t really know what the new year is, they generally live there in some year 7216, but here i am accordingly... ah i’m going on january 1st, no matter how wonderful everything is, in this region of india there is

a tradition, and women go out at the same time every morning, they return from the temple from the service and begin with uh such m multi-colored chalk crumbs, yes, or crayons , they draw very beautiful patterns in front of their house, this is some kind of invitation to the deities, well, in general there is a religious background, so - accordingly, i’m walking like this in some of my thoughts early in the morning of the first, suddenly i hear the cry of a girl who says happy new year to me sir, i remember, i was already shuddered, and i turn around and understand that this girl accordingly, well, apparently from some educated family, because that’s the only way she could know that today is the new year and that she should say happy new year, she draws happy new year accordingly, so i remember how this really disappointed me, i i thought, here you are... globalization has reached here too, yes nowhere, but what you are talking about now

is so that this new year does not affect you negatively and the side of this expectation of the holiday, and if you still want to rejoice and you will be, as it were, in anticipation such, well, a holiday, that something really happens, it turns out that you ’re kind of on the other side and you ’re still in it, that is, you have like... for it, for example, call it december 31st or march 8th, it doesn’t matter , that’s it, accordingly

you will still find yourself in the paradigm of what you will need to do something for this new year, yeah, which means that if something does not correspond, no matter what, as i already said about self-worth, yes, that if one thing is not enough, then you will suffer, because if you rejoice because of something, then on the other side of this coin there will be suffering, exactly because of this same fact, and if you take it into your own hands to make this holiday with your own rituals, which you are pleased with some of yours to add your tenderness, as you raise yours.

dignity, that’s what i’m talking about, that if you can be at this point of neutrality, then no matter how the neurotic desire to necessarily celebrate does not arise, you can celebrate it, why the desire to celebrate must necessarily be neurotic, it should not, i say, will not arise neurotic desire, this does not mean that the desire will not arise, that’s what i ’m saying, that first you need to learn to be in this neutrality, well, in this context, we lovers of the new year can support you? it’s your power, yours responsibility, it begins and becomes full-blooded when you can perceive any day as a holiday, whether you will do this is a question, but that’s why i say that this can be done in order to ease the neurotic anxiety

associated with collective holidays and collective manifestations, yes, accordingly, well, how can you... first come up with your own rituals, they can be from the point of view of summing up, making wishes, making plans for everything else, but you don’t have to link them, but there you will learn to take it calmly, and from a calm state you can do whatever you want, because, for example, you will get married next year, and your husband will have some of his own traditions regarding that ... how to celebrate the new year, where for the new year everyone must ride a slide until their knees are frostbitten, it doesn’t matter at all -40 or +2 on water or ice, i feel so, i ’ll get a divorce next year, well, no , why can you accept other people’s traditions, it’s possible, but this can only be done consciously,

because then a certain diffusion of cultures results; this does not burden everything. i don’t know what kind of meanings or meanings there are, you just understand, well, this is the kind of family we have now, that’s also possible, let ’s talk a little about summing up , how to deal with this area, and whether it should be done at all specifically with tied to the new year, or something like this so that you ask me now, no, not necessarily, not necessary, understandable, not necessary, but if , for example, it is important for you to do this, then you can choose for yourself september 1, there is april 12, it doesn’t matter what kind of day it will be, calmly without collective, that’s hysteria, as you call it, without collective hysteria, sum up your own results, and put a holiday on a holiday, for me summing up is not total compliance with the plan that you built a year before, yes, here i

, how to say, always use senhauer’s expression, in my opinion, it belongs to him, that a plan is nothing, planning is everything, planning is precisely the absence such a rigid constrained execution of the plan, you have a plan, then you look, some part of this plan was realized, some was not realized, something more, something less, and you adjust, then you are not in a state of crazy control, in a state of some kind of monitoring, that is, observing what is working out, what is not working out , then the plan becomes, initially you build it...

there is no this group, then it turns out that as a rule a certain criterion arises, that everything is fine with me, if i'm in a group, and if i'm not in a group, then accordingly... an idea appears, that something is wrong with me, well, maybe, okay, where and where does the source of danger come from when you are outside a group, for example,

a family, it’s possible that it will always be like this, that is, then the danger comes from the future, uh-huh, uh-huh , in the event that it will always be like this, yes, where does the idea come from that it can always be like this, well, suddenly, no, suddenly, for sure, look, out of millions... options for the development of your life, one of them is that you will die in alone, then it turns out for me, i need to admit that one of the options is this, that this can be and happen like this, yes, then this will somehow stop influencing me if at least once you really take this sadness and live it, because there is nothing bad in sadness, sit and be sad for yourself, yes, but it’s still somehow unpleasant. when you define it as unpleasant, but you need to drink it to the bottom, this cup needs to be drunk to the bottom, when you do this, how would you expand the spectrum of your own

perception of the same sadness or melancholy, it will cease to be a problem, it can be where -it will be, or maybe it won’t be, but it will cease to be that grain that gets into the eye, and you try to blink, because it’s as if this is scary... the picture, it has already been realized, it has already happened, and you realized that you did not die in this sadness, in this loneliness , you have dealt with it, therefore anxiety decreases, therefore it ceases to be so difficult with this feeling, you live in fantasy the scenario that scares you so much, you understand that it does not kill you, you return to reality, in reality that, new year, you are alive, you have arms, legs, yes, i agree. well and in general, this feeling of loneliness , i say, you don’t always experience it , for some reason it’s just, for example, before some of these, like, important dates, and they

seem to become brighter, yes, because they get worse this is precisely the general mood, in the patagonian fjords of chile there are hundreds of kilometers of coastline where no human foot has ever set foot before, machu picchu is a city soaring above the clouds, we can move it. at another time to feel the genius, the greatness of real american cultures that were destroyed by europeans from all points of view, the imks and otsteks were head and shoulders above in a cultural and civilizational sense. today, every brazilian is a little indian, a little european and a little african, and this is what enriches our people. the cuban revolution is one of the most important events of the 20th century; it was led by a group of revolutionaries led by fidel.

the palm is open; under no circumstances should it be clenched into a fist. the only place where there could be a gun in the left hand is a napkin. we can avoid opening a second front only if we decapitate him with one blow the leadership of countries hostile to us. it became known that the germans were preparing a large-scale operation in tigeran. all six umbrellas you ordered for your father's bakery are ready.

the question is that i don’t always understand, do i really want it this way, or is it just a memory, or is it because they are broadcast there before the holidays, then how should it be that they are like this. and what is it like

, this is how the body reacts when you remember childhood holidays, what happens to the body? well , it’s like you’re expanding or relaxing, something like that, okay, eh you are pointing to your chest, so it is assumed that somewhere in the chest an expansion occurs, yeah, well, yes, somehow it becomes a little warmer, it becomes warmer, uh-huh, when one becomes colder, well, when one wants to warm up just a little. yeah, why could this expansion be happening? well, let’s imagine that you are a little girl, sitting, a christmas tree, a tv, champagne, as it was, as it was, well, that’s pretty much how it was, everything is from one side, of course, that’s what this expansion is due to, what it’s due to warm, as it seems to you, if right now you immerse yourself in feeling how it would have been then, uh-huh, then well, i...

must learn to give, and now imagine that you just love your mom and your dad, and you’re sitting, even if you are sitting alone, in front of you is a bottle of champagne, one burning sparkler, what’s his name, yes, you are looking, but at this moment you are not sad, on the contrary, you remember those you love, because they haven’t gone anywhere, and at this moment you are giving them this love, you

at this moment are the source of this... warmth, you know, here, probably, sometimes it turns out to live like this, everything is probably important here , what knocks you out of this balance, or, probably, the way you say, a neutral state, which probably then you need to notice when you you get confused or something, but from this state, it turns out like this, yes, for this i did such a psychological experiment on myself, i really don’t like big ones. experience dizziness, nausea, headache, so one day i decided to check what would happen to me, what was happening, that’s what knocks me out this harmonious state of mine, i don’t have to go there, in fact, well, yes, when i just took a ride, took a cart, stood in the middle of one of the hypermarkets, which were very common and...

happens, but i will watch myself that happens, at some point i found myself with a full cart, already picking up the sixth bottle of sunflower oil from above, i asked myself the question, what am i doing now, there are whole racks of sunflower oil there, different ones, yes, and i’m buying , accordingly, naturally i buy that oil, which is some kind of promotion, yes, buy one, get two, there are three, five, i don’t know, and that’s all.

i’m bathing, that’s when i brought this state to the point of absurdity, i realized that i don’t have to play this game anymore, and i stopped stressing about this topic so much, my next experiment was very simple, i gave myself the task of going to a hypermarket to buy, well there is a stick of butter, one stick of butter, and i directly remember how i went, that means i was walking, i looked at the grocery store there, something like that there, i found a shelf with... butter, i would take a stick of butter and proudly carry it at arm's length, walked up to the saleswoman , put it on the cash register, standing in line with these crazy people - she had never seen anything like this in her life, she had never seen it, but the way i behaved gave her reason to say, like, that's it, i proudly said everything , and it healed me, today i can afford it, the same thing here,

take it consciously, for example, plunge into this hysteria, into this race, directly consciously, so that ad nauseum, write, record videos, with reports, there tell us what you have achieved, what plans for... the future, come up with such plans for everyone to just go crazy with envy, what are you planning this year, i don’t know, to fly around the equator three times in a hot air balloon, whatever, and so that even fyodor konyukhov would actually think that there is someone cooler than him, for example, if we think about it in this sense, take it, plunge into it, but be aware of yourself, this is the only way to achieve this point, which i call zero or points. okay, try it, thank you, we will create our own rituals, yeah, create our own rituals, i will tell you a parable, in one small town, many centuries ago i lived

a sage, the whole city considered him a sage, and he was a master, then one day he received a voice from above. who told him that everyone who drinks from the well tomorrow will go crazy , there were no more explanations, all he did was he went to this well in the morning , dissuaded all the people from drinking, they looked at him, well, as it were they didn’t believe him, they drank and went crazy, and after a few hours absolutely the whole city went crazy except him, when he saw this picture , all he did was just drink from this well. it can be so, it can be so, but it can not be so do it, let’s try it in different ways, well, for starters , really, i recommend just doing this ritualism, because in general i think that rituals, correct rituals, correct

rituals differ from incorrect rituals, in that correct rituals have meanings, which you defined, because most of the rituals that you use in life, i, you, all of us, yes, which go, conditionally... speaking from time immemorial, traditions called so-called family ones, for example, we don’t know why, yes there are good story about that when a man married a girl and noticed that when she cooks sausages, she cuts both sides, he asked why? he says, my mother always did this, so he went to his mother-in-law, he says, my mother did this, he went to my grandmother, my grandmother says, why? she says, it’s just that when we were young, we were very poor, we had a very small child. the frying pan, saucepan, and sausages did not fit, so we cut it off, this ritual or this tradition that has passed on and people don’t know reasons, it, unfortunately, feeds the mill of archaic fears, which come from the depths just the opposite, so i

always say that you need to create your own traditions, your own rituals, and passing them on to others, explain why exactly like that, if when you have children, explain to them why you go there on new year’s eve and hit... your head against some stone, for example, well, you need to explain why against this stone, why with your head, why 12 times , you can come up with it now and it will help you, it's not will help the next generation if they simply repeat this, when you create, you balance your nervous system in this way, and this is what people with obsessive-compulsive disorder teach us, people who live in constant permanent increased anxiety, they are for ritualists reduce their anxiety, it does not matter to step only on black squares. there, stepping on sewer manholes or never stepping on sewer manholes doesn’t matter, but in this way they reduce their own anxiety, they can do this study. well, it was the triggers podcast, its hosts tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan were with you. today we talked about

how to cope with internal anxiety. you can watch all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. hello, i’m dmitry bak, and here now is a literary podcast under a romantic name, let them not talk, let them read, we ’re talking about literature, we’re talking about books, we ’re talking about writers, but this year we are celebrating the anniversary of arkady petrovich gaidar, so we are talking today and... exactly about arkady gaidar, today we are talking with wonderful interlocutors, this is the head of the library of the moscow library, which bears the name of arkady gaidar, tatyana valerievna rudishina. hello, tatyana valerievna, and the head of the house of the gaidar museum in the city of

klin, moscow region, natalya vladimirovna perlina. hello, natalya vladimirovna, and let’s start with this quick question, what is the most important thing for you in gaidar? you know, this is the first word that for some reason came to my mind, honesty, honesty, decency, loyalty to one’s business, understanding of the child. it seems to me that the most important thing for arkady petrovich is that he always remained a man, despite the fact that he had a lot of trials, in childhood, the first world war, in his youth, the civil war, in adulthood , the great patriotic war, always remained a man who was true to himself, to his ideals and never betrayed himself, mandelstam said a little differently...

but even against this background, gaidar has a completely unique biography, you know, i was amazed when this was still just a child, the child is in the fourteenth year, so he is 10 years old, he writes to his father, the father went to the front, and he writes a letter in which he questions in detail and asks very professional questions related to military affairs, this was not in the fourteenth. first of all

, i draw your attention to how a twelve-year-old boy addresses his father, dear, dear daddy, he loves his father with all his heart, please write me the answers to the questions, the first thing soldiers think about the war, writes arkady, is it true that they say that they will only attack only if they put the rear bourgeoisie on the front line, well , look, i’m in it... daddy, on the other hand, kind of teach me how to be a military man, well, daddy won’t teach him to be a military man, why won’t he, because that, by and large, into the army, strange as it may sound, his mother brought him, when his son came one day, he said that he was going to the front, his mother makes such, you know, a purely female knight move, she negotiates with the commander of the first red battalion that is stationed in arzamas, so that its commander takes arkady to i wish i could go to headquarters, well, that’s where the age is. not quite yet, well, everyone knows that he commanded

a regiment for 17 years, it’s like a fact, but why did this man suddenly become a writer? if we talk about what starts from childhood, from childhood he has a very good school in arzamas, in which there is an excellent and, probably, most beloved teacher, a literature teacher, let's call the city of arzamas again, because the city of arzamas, the city of gaidar, he was not born in this city, but this is his... he is a man of the world, he has lived everywhere, worked everywhere, yes, the urals, in the far east, and of course , he wrote in a wedge there, timur, his team, and was happy, the most important thing is that he was happy, i believe that it was mother natalya arkadyevna salkova, born, who pushed her son to write, he’s still a holic at this time, for the first time in 25 he will say this, let’s say this also obvious fact that...

to everyone, but here it’s like the opposite of children, but initially arkady petrovich will write a story by rvs, which today is perceived as a children’s story, but when he will bring this thing, let's decipher the rvs, the revolutionary military council, the roaring military council, r.vs when he brings it to the publishing house, he will say, i wrote a novel for adults, and there he says, this is not a novel, not for anyone, not for adults, good children's story, i think that natalya is right in many ways. moreover, she generally knows the biography

of arkady gaidar very, very deeply, but it seems to me that this is still an era, that is, this is the time, the time made writers out of many people, well, we mentioned that golikov became kaidar , a this pseudonym, which later became a surname, and there are many hypotheses, well, for me , it’s kind of like in aida or gaida - it’s a slogan forward, forward, yes, but there are others there in soviet times. they were very fond of saying that gaydar comes from the mongolian word haidar, which means horseman, where the rider is galloping in front or looking ahead, that is, unfortunately, the mongols do not have such a word in their language.

from where in french transcription and ar - the city of arzamas, gaydar in arza is beautiful, it’s very beautiful, it seems to me that we still don’t it seems too sophisticated to me, this is in the spirit of arkady petrovich, this is it, yes, he is a great coder, well, yes, military secrets, and military secrets, and in general, his growth is largely based on classical literature for boys, yeah.

let us still introduce this context of children's literature, there is children's literature in general, sergei timofeevich oksak in the 19th century, childhood and adolescence, and there is what is called soviet children's literature, i mean chikovsky, there is new literature, which yes, which he did detgiis marshakovsky in many ways. well, yes, didgiz is a children's state publishing house, let us remind you and...

he talks to this reader completely on equal terms and seriously as an adult, and you have some kind of book here, well, this is my dear one , how come he is gaydar tomik, this is a four-volume publication, absolutely crazy tera very, very many, many, many houses had such publications as bookmarks, it was so nice. here you go, gaydar and children, here are completely different illustrations, here you are and what year is this, i think it’s fifty-six year, i knew it, shortly before my birth, this is the twentieth party congress, this is just such a warming and a very large publishing

program at this time, this is the so-called four-volume green one, well, or the blue version, but it’s blue or green, here it is ... and you know, maybe looking ahead, i just can’t help but tell this story: several completely different readers told approximately the same story, how in the summer at the dacha, they accidentally found old collections in a closet or attic gaidar’s writings, most often from the year 1956, well, apparently the family seems to be in the closet. well, throw it away , well, somehow it’s completely unintelligent and impossible, and these children found it, started reading and couldn’t put it down, then, when i asked these children, what did you like, and there were answers.