that means they were released, and before that they wrote to grandfather that your son was missing, we hope that everything will end well for him, it was of course a big blow, but you understand, and grandfather waited and believed that his son would return, at some point... at that moment i received the following telegram, your son has been found, he will be in moscow for a few days, he will be given a reward, corporal obraztsov will receive a share, and the grandfather began to wait for his son to return. 2 months passed, three, and the son still did not return, and the grandfather said that he did not sleep at night every night when the elevator went up, every time he got up and waited for alyosha to come, then one day grandfather fell asleep himself, and she woke him up.

and took out these little soldiers, these ones that he made in childhood, each little soldier is painted in detail, that is, this is a boy, he began to play with his toy, apparently, he still continued to live that life of his, well, in general, this is so as not to go down perhaps people who survived the tragedy at that age are crazy, then it is considered. there is such a version that two

comrades served, the grandfather told the screenwriter this story, because there was really a civil war, but they absolutely coincide stories, my brother found it, now we take care of these little soldiers who are described in the book, which were made by my uncle, who came almost to play at two comrades, but well , here’s the story. but we have one more thing that definitely played, at least on television, this, this thing, yes, it’s from television, this thing, too, these are all the things that really remained for the soul, for our living ones, this is the warm hare that my mother played, it was in the good night program, that’s just it, i remember the day... the program was formed

good night, kids, when mom came home , she said, katya, there will be a new program, good night, kids, i was a little girl, this little hare became an all-union favorite, he’s charming, like this, and i remember, and i’ve been since i was four i've been filming on television all the time for years, i think i'll be a screenwriter here, in good night, kids, and even composed... as a script for good night , kids, here's such a wonderful hare, but the day you remember is the first program, 1964, and i also had poems very strange, dedicated, i can now even remember them by heart, there lived a poor widow hen, and her chicks hatched, they waited, they waited, they were for dad, dad didn’t return from the war.

such stupid poems, inspired by the creation of a new program, well, of course, and my mother played this hare in the program, yes, and i remember this beautiful hare, when we, he was very charming, by the way, when we erected a monument to mikhailovsky in 2000 the hare who crossed the path of pushkin, who was going to st. petersburg would have ended up on senate square, but he crossed the road like a hare, and he stayed in mikhailovsky and thus escaped siberia, in 2000.

but tell me, please, there is another one, you told me, no one in the family even knew this story , before grandfather left, yes, and you and i recently met, you say, who was an actress in grandfather’s theater, so i told you about the hare tepu, her mother died immediately after my mother gave birth, the fact is that she had blood poisoning, and there was no penicillin then, if there had been penicillin, she if she were alive, it was the year twenty-eight,

here is my grandfather’s secretary, on which he worked, the secretary was locked with a key, when grandfather was no longer there, we opened the secretary. and there is a huge portrait of his first wife across the entire door, which means that he worked next to her all his life, here it is, and moreover, when the door opens, it’s from the side, if you walk into the room, you can’t see this portrait, yes , i have one like this, i have one at home, i have the same portrait, but small, like this, and this is sovesemna, sonya. she's wearing a necklace, as my mother said, this is the only thing i have left from my mother, my mother gave this necklace to me, and i gave it to my niece for her wedding, it turns out that it’s already sonya’s right-of-way, it’s not that valuable, in my opinion,

it’s aquamarine, most likely these stones , but we didn’t have any diamonds in our family, we never had any of this, but... this necklace is like such a memory, well, it’s already a family memory, grandma’s, yes, yes, yes, this is it now the great-granddaughter has it, but the great-granddaughter has already given birth to her daughter, so who will be next in the female line to pass on, so that the necklace will live, sergei vladimorovich was a great man, but for you he was a grandfather, and you are a granddaughter for him, yes, and he gave you some gifts, somehow spoiled you separately, some were interesting.

some things were exported from abroad to my brothers and me, then i bought something for my older brother, this, well, these were, so to speak, some kind of gifts, well , there is, by the way, a good one photograph, you are with your grandfather, but i know that in your family there is one funny joke, the joke is now funny story, in fact it may be funny, maybe not historical, yes, in one failed gift. yes, this is a funny story, my grandfather had already given up smoking by that time, but he had long ago, in my opinion, i think, no, probably after my birth or before my birth, quit smoking himself and told me: katya, what should i give you? so that you finally quit smoking, well, what should i give you, and

i jokingly said a car, he immediately answered me: “smoke, i still smoke chickens completely legally, smoking is bad, we say, we’ll roll it up, you can’t smoke .” his second wife was no longer alive, and he and i, he had dinner with us or we with him , we lived in neighboring apartments, my mother was his best friend, i’m now preparing for our program. i was looking at books there are such inscriptions everywhere, to my most necessary friend , natalochka’s daughter, you told me that he was very sad in the morning, that there were no guests, no, it was in the evening, he said in the evening, natalochka, and that no one

will come to us today , mom said, no, we had guests yesterday, well, that was yesterday, but we we know that... well, this lively, cheerful man sang very well and composed himself on the guitar, and the guitar is still on the sofa in the living room, in his house, here we have it. a unique opportunity to listen to a recording of one of the romances that he performed , perhaps, so to speak, for guests, in the process of some kind, so tell me , i lost it, the cut glasses fell from the table , they fell, and they broke, my life is broken, they fell yes, they crashed. my life is broken, here he enters the hall of the ubare, his hair is curled, how

modestly, nobly, he looks at his watch, so modestly, nobly, he looks at his watch, look, look, bastard, look what time it is, maybe you’re the girl’s last... i want to throw my cap in the air, i was once carried away by all our folk holidays, i was still sitting sad at home , suddenly i remembered, it was still the soviet union, brezhnev’s time, that today is the night before christmas, my husband came home from work, i dressed him up as a bear. i turned my sheepskin coat inside out, put it on a collar from our dog on

a leash like this, my mother came from the theater, she and i painted our cheeks, i said, that’s it, let’s go sing carols around the house, just stepped out of the threshold, the elevator goes up, there’s grandpa from the concert with the hero’s star, where are you going, i say, we’re singing carols, caroling? you don’t know anything, said grandfather, wait, after 5 minutes he took off his fur coat, hat, left the apartment, already wearing scarves, but behind the hero’s star, and we walked around the house with grandfather, that means, with my husband, the bear, with my mother , we were so two funny dolls with her, then no one had a different christmas anymore, somehow it wasn’t our holiday, yes, it turns out, everyone is celebrating, in the house, it turns out... everyone’s grandfather was singing with the table covered kolyatki in russian, in ukrainian, and

under prutkin’s door he sang in, probably yiddish , or, well, in general, he sang a kolyatka in hebrew, and prutkin’s door was not opened, about five minutes passed, prutkin’s wife called and said, sergei vladimirovich, were they you, he says yes... it was me, of course, they say, but we thought it was a pogrom, so they opened, come in, it means they were handing out candy everywhere, here i am on the first evening, i remember , we were received by komoretskaya’s daughter, at her laid table, our entire entrance sat down, everyone gathered with with these bags of something, we conjured a spell, and every year we began to organize such a holiday, every year at a different entrance.

in trolls - one of the actors is sure to raise a toast, thank you to sergei vladimirovich, thank you for everything he did for us, that we visited there, there or there, grandfather himself spoke very interestingly, he said, we show the world dolls, dolls show us the world, and you thanked him for this, but look, today we didn’t say...

hello, dear viewers, this is the triggers podcast, its host tatyana is with you krasnovskaya, psychologist, psychotherapist, psychologist , psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, and today our guests are olga and damir. hello, please tell us what your request is, why did you come? and i’ll start, you

agreed that you’ll start or i’ll start, it’s a heavy burden, it’s so heavy. that i keep starting, mm, yes, it’s a hard time, until recently it seemed to me that this is mine, and i like it so much, and i’m so comfortable, but i understand that i’ve been burning out very much lately in this, then very simple question why didn’t you let him say, there was nothing there that he wanted, and you were like, no , i’ll start, you just said right away, i’ll start, and why didn’t you save a pause so that damir. it was possible to say, good question, this is an excellent question, it seems to me that our consultation could even end here, so i’m asking this question directly to you and straight to the forehead, uh-huh , what made you do this, the feeling that he won’t cope , even with this, oh, great, then we’ll leave this now, because our the audience doesn’t understand anything at all now , the feeling that he won’t cope

, now they’ve put it aside, then you’ll forgive me, i’m right there, damir, and you didn’t plan to say anything, that’s the point, that’s how it should have been be expressed, because well, how did they ask you a question, but some kind of activity should appear there, for example, there i or tatyana should have understood that you would like to say something? also a good question, of course a good question, well, how do they raise their hand at school, but there i don’t know, in in normal conversation, people give some non-verbal or verbal signs, for example, to lean forward a little in order to answer, well, you didn’t give it at all? we have the opportunity to hear, to see that you have something to say, what made you, well , remain silent, not start answering first, well, i think, some kind of perhaps fear of manifestation or taking responsibility, and what do you mean by these concepts, here is the fear

of manifestation in just one phrase, what is it, well, somehow start first, be a leader, it’s more about responsibility, no, well, probably yes, okay, we removed the side too, we continue, we continue, then we’ll ask you, yeah, what did you come with, what is your request, in our family now, it seems to us, there is a slight imbalance, maybe a big one, in in the sense that in our... family he occupies a leading position, and i am in second place, and for me, probably, this is a more familiar position, as well as for her, but now we want to change all this so that i am the leader in the family and was the main one, you both want this, yes, thank you, and you seemed to voice

a request, i want to learn this, i... want to experience this experience, where i follow a man , why, in order to relax, and have you ever thought that you need to relax first, thought about it in a way that doesn’t let you relax , thought about it, doesn’t let you relax, the illusion that if i do this, then then i will lose control over the situation, why you will definitely lose the illusion, well, in the sense, if you relax, you will definitely lose this is not an illusion. this is one option for the development of the event, the second option for the development of the event is that you will enjoy the roller coaster that you sit on, and so i i can feel this way, yes, but you don’t get pleasure, that is, you ride a roller coaster and pretend that you are steering this locomotive, it seems to me that i

enjoy it, but i’m tired of these roller coasters, and i want to to another. yeah, ol, how can you get tired of having fun? so that, while riding on this swing, rushing forward, i lose a lot of resource, then at a moment when i want to really relax and just let go of control and not be responsible for anything, as if at that moment i don’t exist at all , same postponed, but i'll show this file. and tell your story, when in a new place, let me tell you, great, come on, we’ve been together for a year and a half, we met on... on a dating site, literally a month later - we already started living together and 2 months ago we got married, this is your first marriage, no

, this is the second marriage for both of you, you have children in your first marriages, yes you do, yeah, you are planning a child in this marriage, yes, how old are the children, olya has a 14-year-old daughter, i have a son and a daughter 9 and 7 years old, in what composition? olga and her daughter, clearly, well, but why are you working out? i am currently doing web design and also conducting bodywork practices. are you olga? i am a psychologist, sexologist, colleagues, great. okay, then let 's understand what harmonization of, say, your relationships will look like, here are your relationships that are already harmonious, what will they look like?

definitely makes you vulnerable, and it definitely doesn't do the job, yeah, uh, that's what makes you perform before him, now back to the first file, why did you start the first one, but because you're trying to avoid this feeling that with you something is wrong if your partner can somehow ruin your reputation, yeah, and now i have a question for you, this is what, this feeling couldn’t have been born yesterday, yeah. uh-huh, how long have you been living with this feeling that something is wrong with you, that you are ashamed, i live with this and work with this feeling, i have been living with my family for a long time since childhood,

what was wrong with my family, what was wrong with you it’s a shame, there were a lot of such stories connected with my father, when i manifested myself, creatively manifested myself precisely when i was left alone, alone with myself, where i could naturally manifest myself, that is, there were moments when dad came, looked at me from under the car, and then came out and said what are you doing here, my dad has been in the ministry of internal affairs all my life, yeah, that’s it this feeling that they are always trying to convict me of something, that i am breaking something, breaking the law, that’s how it is, that is, yes, such a feeling, and there were a lot of such moments. i’m such a creative person, that is, i could change clothes, i could dance, sing, and what were you like in those moments when you showed your creativity,

alive, creative, real , now i even want to breathe, but now, when i talk about this, as if being there, i feel calm, my anxiety disappears, yes, there i was real, there i was not ashamed of myself, freely, yes, until the moment i didn’t come, i’ll tell you here too, maybe there’s a secret, or maybe you know, well, in the sense of a secret for the audience for sure, you probably know this, that shame arises in us only in the presence of another, yes it turns out that if someone does something wrong, then this person accordingly, he begins to judge you, but here it turns out that damir in this situation acts as, let’s say, your creative essence, which can be free, at this moment you become your dad, controlling creativity to the world, yeah, that is, it’s so confusing. transference and countertransference are not enough, but it looks exactly like this, uh-huh, that is, the action of the domir should not bring any chaos, it should be

very well...

i found out what you need, yes, of course, uh-huh, of course, that, that eat, what to wear, here, as if there was a certain expectation of what you should be, that is, you always have to be something, then mom will be happy, and yes, and i didn’t live up to her expectations, of course, but what happens if you don’t live up to olga's expectations, well, the marriage relationship will probably deteriorate, and this could lead to, to divorce. there to parting, you wouldn’t want to judge this, no, i wouldn’t, okay, but what does your ideal union look like for you, in which you could live? well, i certainly want to take responsibility for myself, for olga, for our lives, and so that olya i was just enjoying my creativity, look, i was enjoying myself, but it was very good. as

if the words were chosen correctly, i think that the audience applauds, applauds , i wish i could stop applauding, but i would like us to switch to some simpler, what is called everyday language, but how about in yours olya’s glance will understand that you have already done this, that you must do it specifically, that making it difficult to answer now, well, conducting in marriage, yes, it’s always about acceptance. some key decisions when your voice is important, the most important thing is that there is, well, making decisions for our family, well, these decisions are in what plane they lie in the sense that this is what, this is buying an apartment, this is where we will go on vacation, this is what we will eat today, this is this including, you are watching the trigger podcast with you, its host tatyana

krasnovskaya. and sergey nasebyan, today we are talking with our guests, olga and damir, about whether it is worth fighting for leadership in the family? you said that this is a familiar combination of relationships for you, what then do you suffer from, if this is familiar to you, here mom, why, she tells you what to do , tells you what to wear, what to eat, where to lie down, how it will be, do you have problems with this, or would you be ready to live like this if it weren’t for olga’s potential, which calls you to implementation, which does not get high in it. before meeting olya, i just didn’t understand this, probably, if olga hadn’t been the way she is now, i most likely would not have understood this, i would have continued to ride on the same rails and do the same thing, and that’s fine everything would be fine and everything would be fine, yes certainly for the time being, but thanks to olga i understand that this is wrong and i want to change this situation.

the audience continues to applaud what you will do, relatively speaking, waking up tomorrow morning and realizing that all the responsibility is on you, but i think, like all the previous days, then either all the responsibility is already on you and you’re great, then it’s unclear, you ’re just actively hiding , why doesn’t olya get high, yes, or accordingly you don’t plan to change anything somehow, you know, that’s why i’m asking, oh, i know when... to drive you crazy, well done, and well, i’ll say, you know, you ol , try, take yourself such a lunch, be silent for 3 days, and it seems to me that damir won’t stand it, he ’ll go crazy, and it will either be good or bad, bad, he’ll go in kashchenko it’s good, accordingly, he will wake up , wake up and start doing something, can you imagine such a situation, you woke up, but olya is silent, not because she was offended, but she just doesn’t talk anymore, like a mermaid, she has legs,

no voice. let's try, by the way, it's not so easy to remain silent for 3 days, especially since i'm talking about this, it’s not easy, believe me, just imagine, you woke up, no one tells you anything. i think a day or two, a day or two, how did you feel abandoned at that moment, were you scared? i think not, is it offensive? yes, that’s what lies behind the insult, why is it offensive?

well, mom is upset, she’s not talking to you, it seemed to me that i didn’t do anything directly so that they wouldn’t talk to me for a while, yeah, yeah, maybe there’s a deuce in the diary or something like that. then this is definitely a good experiment for you, for you, i have for a couple. olya, how do you imagine, if, for example, you wake up and can’t talk about how your couple’s life will turn out that day, if you don’t talk at all, and the mood should be adequate, yes, that is, no one to anyone i’m not offended, i will continue to mind my own business, i will continue to fulfill my tasks, to live, this is how we should look at the world now. i don’t understand what he will do, so you don’t have any confidence at this moment, yes, but what yes, there is again some kind of fear , what he can do, well, i don’t know what he will do, he will burn down the apartment, no, what he won’t cope with,

okay, this won’t cope, what will it be expressed in, you will die of hunger in 3 days, because you won’t tell him, go buy some bread, that it won’t help, nothing will happen, that 3 days will pass and i ’ll keep coming back again. in fact, when now vadomir was asked a question about how he sees our union as harmonious, i was a little, well, once again so surprised, i smiled i understand how it works, because when

we are together, i tell him this, he doesn’t want to hear it, in fact, i, i talk about it, i see it, in terms of when we go into activities together, he takes responsibility for ... organizational issues, even my implementation is okay, yeah, but are you listening to this strategy that damir is developing? i try to listen, but not always, that is, even here there seems to be an idea that you know better how to do? yes, yes, as if there is, then it turns out, you tell him how to do it, and he does it well, yes, but when i tell him:

i don’t know there are insults, silences, no, no, we don’t, it’s so interesting, you said for any manifestation, but damir is afraid to take responsibility , it’s very similar to how when you and your mom didn’t understand what i did, that i didn’t do anything wrong, why i was punished, then it’s better, of course, not to do anything. this is a gluing, because it’s as if it’s impossible to foresee how to do the right thing, what’s expected of me, how would you i didn’t try, it doesn’t matter, that’s why damir can’t answer the question, what will the relationship look like when everything seems

to happen, everything will work out, because any, yes, any fantasy may not please olga, probably, yes, you know, i will say that there is always responsibility. from what you said, in the context of your relationship, where you want to take responsibility is the willingness to lose olga, and until you are ready to lose olga, you will not take the very responsibility that you are talking about, and olga must understand this, you must understand this, that relatively speaking, if damir decides to build a tower tomorrow, yeah, then you just have to bring bricks, and what kind of tower you get will decide in... the tower, but if you stand and talk that he is building the tower incorrectly, then

, as you understand, either the tower will not be completed, or it will not even begin to be built, so here it is important to understand, and as long as you look for someone else who will build another, you will be scared of the loss, well option of losing olga, then you won’t move just with place, this does not mean that you should send it in three letters, say there like i don’t care about you at all... i don’t give a damn, but the readiness for loss gives birth within you, through this risk tolerance, gives birth within you to a readiness for responsibility , it won’t work any other way, it’s clear, you’re watching the triggers podcast, its host tatyana krasnovskaya, sergey nasebyan are with you, and today our guests are olga and domir, and we’re discussing the concept of leadership in the family and how in

general ... motorcycle, well, i’m driving, tatyana doesn’t drive motorcycle, there were a couple of attempts, they were very unsuccessful, in every sense of the word , tatyana knows for sure that she does not know how to drive a motorcycle, so absolutely, yes, accordingly, there is no other option except for me to drive a motorcycle, really ... .. and here a lot depends on the second number, the one who sits in the back, because if the second number is inadequate, then it is impossible for the one who sits behind the wheel to drive several thousand kilometers, because it is unbearable, and accordingly it is not a good second number, uh-huh, that is, she sits in the back and paints her lips for something, i don’t know, she’s sitting on the phone, yes, and at the same time, you know, sometimes i feed, sometimes i feed, but a motorcycle is like a very high responsibility, yes - in the moment. uh-huh, but sometimes it happens to her

that for some reason she suddenly turns on and starts steering me, uh-huh, well, sometimes there’s this second number, when he’s anxious, he’s taxiing, it seems to him that he’s solving something there, i very often tell her that stop steering, thank god she understands, what we are talking about stops, because we really travel a lot, yes, in this sense, your couple, well, as if domir gets behind the wheel of a motorcycle, yeah, then... the task is to relax, no matter what happens there, when this, close your eyes and relax , at the same time, you know, literally on one of our last trips we had a situation when i was really distracted, and a car was driving in front of me, and it was as if tanya saw, but i didn’t see, uh-huh, and there, well the distance was closing quickly, and well, at some point she correctly gave me a sign that i, well, sort of, because she also saw that i... that i didn’t see, she seemed to understand that i didn’t see, but

she couldn’t be sure that i didn’t see, because we were both wearing a helmet, but she didn’t see, where i was looking, and at that time i was looking at the navigator to figure out the turn there , and here is a very important point, how carefully she did it, because if she had done it more easily, i would have started to slow down, well, it would have happened perhaps an accident and even without the participation of that car, so it’s kind of important that you understand it as a kind of structure. at your own personality, because your anxiety will not go anywhere, never, you will not be able to get high in the full sense of the word from the fact that damir took responsibility until you learn to get high from your own anxiety, yeah, because when you sit down to ride american roller coasters , for example, i’m not afraid to ride a roller coaster, i don’t have any pleasure there, yeah, but there are people who are afraid, but they go there to be afraid, yeah, and this can be done in short intervals, because you you may not be able to stand it for a year, but there are some things that you can... agree on, for example, damir, who is responsible for the cultural program for a month, i

’m sure he will open some applications, newspapers, i don’t know , where they are watching this now, and he will begin to think that every other day you should go to the theater, every fourth thursday to the circus, i don’t know, the philharmonic, to the conservatory and so on, you wouldn’t want that, you would we would like it to be a selection of successful plays, some successful concerts, yes, but he doesn’t know yet that something will be successful, but giving him the opportunity to do it, that’s what’s important, thank you very much for... this metaphor, i don’t know, yes, this story with driving, because thanks to your experience now, i ’m back. by the time i made the choice that i would still marry this man, did you get on this motorcycle? i sat in the car, he and damir were driving, when he is driving and i see him, i even visually see him differently, he is different, when i go to this, i relax when we travel together,

that is, it’s just that we can drive as many kilometers as we want, anywhere, i generally close my eyes here like this, it’s real. whom you married, yeah, i understand , but here there is a responsibility for everyone , you each understood about yourself, but how do you take responsibility, how do you take it, don’t

you take it, what are you leaving with, with a motorcycle, with a motorcycle, yes, with motorcycle. let's try, we won't try, we'll do a practice of 3 days of silence, good luck with this, olya and you, i'm leaving with ease, i'm leaving with excitement, with the feeling that it's great that we're together, how great, that we are going into all this, how great it is that we are here today, and we are who we are. and i love my husband, great, i love my wife , this is a very romantic ending, we are happy for you, what can i say, thank you, thank you for not stopping in this research, because for me there is an absolutely clear understanding of why

in principle, people go into relationships because at all the venues where i ever speak, i always say that healthy people. enter into relationships, healthy people do not need relationships, we absolutely all - as a rule, build relationships due to our own neurosis, the key neurosis is, of course, the fear of loneliness, abandonment, abandonment, it doesn’t matter, but one option is when you try to make your partner analge, yes, anesthetize your life, yours are your neuroses, and the other is completely different, this is when you enter into a relationship to explore your neuroses, and then we begin to understand that... i really don’t like the expression that is fashionable these days, that we mirror each other, i don’t like the truth, because it's not true, it's not so, but we can definitely see our own reflection in the eyes of another person, this is research, i wish you many years of this research, and don’t think that it will ever end as

soon as you realize that you have known a person, you lost a person, thank you, thank you for even changing your position, great, hello, the program is on air, ekaterina andreeva is in the studio, the main event of the day. a grandiose event that united tens of thousands of young people from all over the planet. vladimir putin opened the world festival youth. report from sirius. bradley,

paladin crab slovakian self-propelled howitzer zuzana.