the rains will pass and wash away everything in your snow, but my love will remain from the distant mechenitsa that is outside my window.

what is it to love every second of the day , i’m not everything, i don’t want to settle like everyone else, when men leave, a woman remains to wait, when men fight, a woman can only hope, you are my victory, the only one, when men betray, not you deserve laricha in the active army, a woman can... only forgive, when men love, a woman remains a woman, bless the woman, tomorrow on the first day, you have one right, to be loved, three of them broke into the bank in masks, started beating, shooting, it was very scary. in donetsk

, a private bank was robbed, your cells were cleaned out. find it, you will take this case for yourself, this is a chance, you will move to the major league, lieutenant colonel igor melnik, is now involved in the donetsk case, they should not get too far. the main intrigue is whether ukraine will sign an association agreement with the eu. we do everything right. i will not give such a command, transfer it through the maidan, the premiere is from march 11 on the first. there is

information that they want to liquidate you. valeria, i looked here, it turns out that valery has a fit with the husband of an insta -female mannequin, i was like, well, i came in to refresh the songs, and like that, oopsies , please tell me why you didn’t want to fit a female, i don’t think so our duet would.

love, why to myself, i thought that she would choose this song, i was absolutely sure, she chose it very much, in general like this, well, when a small plane takes me away, and the world becomes big, and so she sang it so girlishly just like that in general it's great, i i propose that we need to make our answer to chamberlin, the song is for money, yes, no, he’ll let jussie in, why, why, the song, the song will let jussie in. a little no, to make it easier , we decided, well, why invent a hit if a hit has already been invented, this is an airplane song, but i’ll now show you how it can be done, arkady, boys, usi, juicy, juicy natu.

so look, now we have an amazing thing called varimhit. you both have art that truly conveys love, and it seems to me that why deviate from the course, you need to write, of course, of course, write about love, we have an interesting harmony , which will now show our beautiful golden scissors of russia, come on, thank you, thank you,

thank you, the lines could be like this: i can’t see you... there’s nothing to lose, there's nothing to blame, we already have at least two lines, there's nothing more to lose, i can't catch up with you, yes, look, look, i ca n't catch up with you, i have nothing to lose, nothing to blame, i have to accept everything, look, okay, let's try, men, please, music, oh, and like okay, i can’t, okay. i can’t catch up with you, i have nothing to lose , i have nothing to understand, i should accept everything, i can’t catch up with you, nothing to lose, nothing to accept , i should accept everything, i can’t catch up with you, i can’t,

i can’t, i don’t can. we concede this scene to misha marvin, and you listen to good music, watch the format, bye!

strong, strong i will be, just be gentle and love me. you don’t need to be strong , i will be strong, just be yes and love me, i know a lot, you suffered, yes, you were alone for a long time, but now you have me, you don’t need anywhere run, take a lot of yourself, took you under my wing, because i can heal your soul, i can love you any way, your smile can disarm in my... i quietly can forget about everything, i fell in love with you just like that, just like that in my own way , i want the story of our love to run around the house, you don’t need to be strong

, i will be strong, just be gentle and love me, you don’t need to be very strong, i will be, just be kind and love me. song, you are not my movie, which is understandable without words, you are deep in my heart, there for a long time, you so tenderly compose love, fell in love you just like that, just like that, in a native way, i want the story of our love to run around the house, you don’t have to be strong.

hello, dear tv viewers, you are watching the triggers podcast, we are with you, its host, psychologist, tatyana krasnovskaya , psychologist, psychotherapist, sergey nasebyan, our guest today is victoria, hello, victoria, hello, hello, tell us what doesn’t work . in your life, what did you come to us with? and i have a fear of men, i’m afraid of relationships, i’m afraid of close

contact, i’m insanely afraid of men, nothing that i here, no, okay, i can leave, no, don’t , yeah, this fear was on such a large scale until i was seventeen years old, and i was afraid to such an extent that i could walk down the street , a man was walking towards me, i could turn around and go in the other direction, at the age of 17 - more like fate, i began to work in a shoe store, and it focused more on men, and on purpose, and on purpose, so i accordingly found contact with men like this at work, but it became a little easier, and then i seemed to live all my life with the conviction that men don’t communicate with me, aren’t friends , or rather, and of course, don’t even love me, at the age of 22 at work i became friends with a colleague, with my man and... when at some point he introduced me, he said that and this is my friend, at that moment i had

a childish glee inside, such a god, they are friends with me, really, but with the fact that they can love me and men can like me as a woman, everything is completely difficult with this, and this barrier i i can’t go through yet, but how old are you now? 25, but could you tell us about to my family, my dad left the family, i was 5 years old, yeah, and he left for another woman. soon my brother was born, at first i barely remember how we met with him, i remember that we met with him, but very rarely, it was with his family, meetings, that is, they were always with his family, with younger brother, with his wife, that is , you didn’t meet with dad one on one, didn’t spend time, i had difficult contact with his wife, i always say that this is such a classic cinderella and machha, forced you to harvest buckwheat, well, practically , that is, there was always something wrong with me, i breathe wrong, i cook wrong... i don’t eat right, i need to constantly lose weight, this was constantly told to me at holiday tables, where

all the relatives gathered, they told me where else are you putting it, i need to lose weight there and so on, and when i was 8 years old, my mother had to go for 2 weeks, she left me with my dad, with his family, my dad’s wife didn’t like that i had long hair, some unkempt hair, she decided to cut my hair, and cut me into short bark sama at home with scissors, i still... well, i tolerated it in general, well, that is , i had the feeling that do with me what you want, just let’s communicate with dad, but there was also little contact with dad, that is these were meetings there in childhood, it happened - i started crying to my mother or my grandmother, his mother - by some incredible miracle, the next day my dad called me and took me there for some day and spent time with me, but this was also always the case not alone, then later i wrote to my dad there at the age of 12. message, what, if you don’t want to communicate with me, you don’t love me, you tell me like this, well, i have this

uncertainty, because my mother, as soon as my dad left, she told me until i was 16, while i i didn’t tell her myself, she confirmed one thing to me, that your dad loves you very much, and your dad is wonderful, well, just understand, just like, understand, but he has a lot of work, so it’s like this is what happens, so for me it was dissonance in my head, like why don’t they communicate with me then? at the age of 18, we had a fight, so we stopped communicating, we still communicate like this, purely to congratulate each other. as a child, did your dad participate in your life in some way, for example , there, if you needed clothes there... did you ask your dad to buy them or what was it like? i know that he paid alimony to my mother, then little by little, but i started asking him for some pocket money, yes, he had it, then i asked him for some gifts for the new year, yes he where he helped, plus due to the fact that he had shoe and jeans stores, i sort of took from his shoes, jeans, well, he was just

working, it turns out, they had a fight about work , apparently, but for four months there he... was supposed to give me my salary, he didn’t give it to me, well, it’s like that’s all i have, well, you understand, now there is no money, so at some point i just boldly, apparently , told my dad that i don’t go on vacation twice a year, i just knew that he went on vacation, bought a dog, a cat, well that is, as if there was money for this, i had nothing to pay my salary, and i said this phrase, to which my dad left and 5 minutes later he wrote me a message that - i formed my opinion about you, this was the last straw in my patience when... she said that, that’s it, i endured for so many years, all these humiliations, all of your wife , her whole family, which i don’t want to tolerate anymore, it’s as if i no longer have the strength to accept, understand all this, and we kind of stopped communicating with him, you gave the money, with the help of your brother and his mother, yeah, okay, tell me, you say that you were afraid of men, your dad left, you were five, your brother was born, you were

six, that is, two men appeared in your life, but at that moment you were already afraid of men, you say. i also had an older brother, my mother had an older brother from her first marriage, how much older was he? for 6 years, i had a difficult relationship with him, he called me names, well, of course, yes, from time to time when i brought him to some state, he might not know me, he even tried to choke me once, or with a pillow there was something else there, as it were, but my brother passed away, i was 10 years old, then my eldest brother died, on this is the end of my childhood, and this is a disease that reveals. so much when he was already dying, so he was playing sports, it turned out that he had too much adrenaline, his blood didn’t process it, so it was as if he died suddenly, and i think that after that my childhood ended, why? well, my mother turned out to be pregnant at that time, she decided to keep the child, and i unknowingly decided, when my brother died, to take full responsibility for myself, well, somehow become

an older sister, in general the eldest of the family in a person, a person in the family, etc. .. at 10, uh-huh, yes, well, i already started somehow, well , helping my mother more than, well, and then , naturally, my sister was born 9 months later, and since my mother was alone, we need to be raised, she is a week after giving birth i went to work, all my sister’s worries fell on me, and as i always say, i raised my sister, i was the only one who slept at night and did not feed, so i was a mother, and this greatly affected my sister and me. because before i was seventeen years old, well more precisely when i was seventeen years old, i came to the moment that it was my first request for help from a psychologist, because i came to the conclusion that i didn’t understand what to live for, i never had suicidal thoughts, that is, i didn’t want to, but i just didn’t understand why, and i just understood , talking with a psychologist there, that i took too much responsibility on myself, my sister was completely on me, that is

, i don’t know the circles there, the kindergarten teachers are in chats there, i don’t know everything yet. five do you also think that men don’t notice you and don’t love you? yes, yes, absolutely, yeah, despite the fact that i had a period when i was in psychotherapy, i had a period when i started having affairs, uh-huh, and i had these really, really novels, these are not relationships, these are novels, and i’m in some kind of... that moment i really felt beautiful, cool, but still my inner self-esteem was, well,

great, we now know that men want me, but that’s where it all ends, it’s generally difficult for me with loved ones. relationships, that is, i don’t really have friends, i don’t have any buddies, and in the end you, with the help a psychologist or answered the question yourself, why live? yes, for joy, for pleasure, how do you get to be happy? not at all right now, what is your life filled with? while i was in psychotherapy, i started a lot for myself, i started dancing, which i dreamed of for a very long time, i started performing and singing, this is also for me, i started to advance at work, and then at some point i realized , that we need to do the next stage, we need to move out. rose to deputy director, that is , well enough, she grew this school, at some point i realized that such internal competition with the manager had already begun, and i left work,

decided that that’s it, i’m leaving, i can’t work there anymore, i left, for the first 4 months i ’ll think about work i couldn’t do it at all, i had jitters, and then i realized that i had to look for a job, this process has always been very long for me, i looked for the last job for almost a year, even a year and a half, now i’ve been looking for and working for six months. i can’t find it, despite the fact that i live in moscow, and what do you mean you can’t, she that is hiding from you, where they take me, i don’t want to, and where i want, they don’t take me. i’ll still return to my question, what gives you pleasure today? nothing, well, that is, you there, i don’t know, don’t like walking in the fresh air, don’t like delicious food, don’t like communicating with friends, singing, well, that is, nothing at all. does it give you pleasure? no, because i have some kind of fad that if i don’t work, that is, i don’t realize myself,

well, i don’t have the right to this life, and even if i’m trying to restrain myself now, but i still understand that i unconsciously limit my social circle, because well , the question of what you do, then i have this, i’m nothing, that means i’m worthless, that means i’m somehow not like that with me. i spent too much time visiting her at some point, and we didn’t notice the time when the husband returned, the husband came back drunk, closes the door, sits on the floor, says, i won’t let you out anywhere, and well,

she starts to get hysterical, at least let me out vika, no, i won’t let you out anywhere, i don’t remember what he specifically told me, but i remember that this picture - then he ended up somehow she persuaded me, and we all went out together, well, she said, i’ll go and walk vika home, and i remember how i was standing in a small elevator with a stroller, with... and my aunts, and he, he was like that a very tall man, and he leans towards me like this, says: it’s all because of you, or because of me, i don’t know, but that was it, after which i finally began to be very afraid of men, we had with us, the lines of his monologues became aphorisms, never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends, yes, it’s a good word, be friends with him it’s just amazing, because he’s smart, brilliant, he commented on everything, he spent a day, he came out educated, you can kiss him, no? no, i once told him, mikhail mikhailovich, you know that you are a genius, he simply told me, yes, clarke, i know, i was confused, this march marks the 90th anniversary

of the birth of mikhail zhvanetsky, i remember how everyone froze at home, turned on the tape recorder, recorded zhvanetsky, and at 11 years old i could not understand what this man was saying, in the hall the people were happy, in my house they were happy, this is not simple, this is poetry, zhvanetsky ’s dictionary is the dictionary of the country, our exclusive today is the wife, which arise in her contact with men, what exactly can men do if no one is around, if

no one saves you, imagine now, that you are in a confined space , in some room, there is a man with you, how did it happen, the first thing that came was moral violence, that is, it will not be actions, they will not beat me, i don’t know, they won’t touch me. threaten me i don’t know what it is, i can do whatever i want with you, such power over me, uh-huh, so he, how to say, scares you with his presence, what are you, how do you live this fear, how do you behave, you stop breathing , you close yourself off, you pretend to be dead, what is happening to you there, i try to breathe very quickly, slowly. put it

in your head as much as possible that i’m not here and nothing is happening, uh-huh, take up as little space as possible, yes, yes, have you ever been in childhood, perhaps you have some of these memories of witnessing a casual sexual relationship between your parents or your mother with her man of some kind, well, you understand that they had a sexual relationship, but of course, how it might look in your opinion, not in the sense of the sex itself, that’s where you are, where are they at this moment, what am i in the suck? not the room, i was in the room with my brother, and my parents were with voden , they are doing something there, yes, well, i never heard anything, i didn’t see anything, thank god, but if they are doing something there, then what with you are happening at this moment, we are now we fantasize, well, such curiosity , what’s going on there, that is, such control, is everything okay, is everything good, control, yes, eh...

never in my family, well, that is, my mother was there before, when my dad and i healed, i don’t remember ever raising their voice , that is, well, accordingly , they never beat me, i never saw butts, plus at the same time, i never saw litter between my parents, but you feel right away if something is wrong, now i i really learned to feel people clearly, of course this helps me in my work, but in greatly interferes with life, greatly interferes with life, i began to feel strongly about people,

a strange status quo, yes, so i have a big problem with manifestation, you are afraid of being inappropriate, uh-huh, yes, in any of your emotional reactions, be it laughter, be it a request, in general, what is the danger of being loud, bright, and even arrogant to some extent, is that, for example, i will laugh loudly, everyone will look at me, everyone will laugh at me, and since i ...they bullied me a lot at school, well, i know what it’s like to be bullied, they joke and do some things, why are they doing this to you, i don’t know, this was probably one of the biggest questions when i grew up, why, why? because i was quieter than water, lower than the grass, always, but i was always aiming for someone to be there with me,

i don’t know, but just. name calling , and i even had a case, once, we were in a children's camp with a school, there were two girls with us, high school students, 3 years older, i was older, we lived in the same, well, kind of room, and once again returning - from there walking, i come and i see that my bed is all smeared with feces, when, well, i stand and say why i, well, it’s clear. the feeders tried, firstly, they immediately kicked the girls out of the camp , their parents took them there, but this is the state, why me, after that i finally got the feeling that there was something wrong with me and that this was how you responded to this question , what’s wrong with you, that i was invisible, no, look, now sitting in front of me is a twenty-five-year-old, beautiful, bright, very attractive woman in every sense of the word,

thanks, that's not a compliment. this is not a compliment, but you know, in this sense , the words of ilf and petrov suit you very well when they described madame gritsatsueva, all so airy and inviting for a kiss, because you dressed up to kiss, of course, you understand, that is, right now with people are looking at you, they really won’t be perplexed, and i’m perplexed, that’s because everything that you’re wearing right now, how you look, how you speak, your facial expressions, your gestures, huh? there were a couple of moments when you could understand from your hands that you really really you overdo yourself when you say something, but overall you are absolutely organic, perhaps this is some kind of mask that you are used to, but even if you are accustomed to this mask, then it is very directly organic for you, that’s why i say, you answered, or you are a person who answered the question for himself , why they bullied me at school, they bullied me, there, well, i understand, i understood, there i was, i don’t know,

an upstart, let’s assume, yes, but... here they are i was hurt, i understood, now i am, accordingly, a conscious upstart, an adult, and no one can’t gurgle, so, i don’t understand yet, who are you, are you the one who answered this question, or the one who did that? didn’t answer this question, but i have an assumption, it’s hard for me to have contact with people there, i was there as a child, because i never reacted to their actions in my direction, that is, i didn’t have, i didn’t give a reverse reaction, that is, they hurt me, i didn’t have there, i don’t know that i burst into tears in front of them, that is, i was just a flint, it was at home that i eliminated, well, in general, well, that is, me like this, for me to sit there and get me out, you have to try really hard, but yes, then of course it feels very big...

a person is mocking another, it’s quite possible, i’m just imagining a picture that i’m small, and he’s coming close to me, but i i don’t understand whether it’s a man or a woman , they put their hand close to the wall, that is

, how to say that i’m being blocked, and something really speaks to me, quietly, but very menacingly, and i just understand what i am some kind of memory, well, it seems like from childhood, i can’t understand whether it’s a memory or? that's mine fantasy, that is, this is what came to me and that i just slide down the wall and just say: please don’t, but i don’t remember it so clearly, i wouldn’t be surprised if my memory simply blocks it, but it’s just so obvious no, because of course, according to the stories of my mother, she had the best marriage and that she madly loved my dad, they had a wonderful family, but i understand perfectly well that i wouldn’t have so many problems now if everything were so wonderful, if it were all wonderful, but mom obviously such protection. mechanism to embellish the reality, yes, yes, no, maybe she really loved, no, but her mother spent her whole life telling victoria about what a wonderful loving dad she had, how attentive he was, mom tried, it’s clear that mom tried, and this just confuses

me in the sense that she clearly lied to you, well, in the sense of lying from the point of view of your reality, yes, you saw that dad is not like that, she says, no, he is like that, well, she’s finished this thing only happened when i was already there for 16 years, i said, mom, that’s enough, because mom... i tried to talk to my dad, they have no contact at all, that is, they are there, well , he doesn’t say hello to her if he passes by, but what confirms my theory, and what is the legend for your family of your birth, my mother at that time, well, as i understand it, she lived with my dad for a year, she left her first husband for my dad, and my dad, and my mother became pregnant with me, my mother said that she told my father, he said that make a decision, that’s what accept it, it’ll be like that for me. neighbor, well, somehow it’s obvious to share this the knife is responsible, the neighbor suggested that she throw a coin, yeah, but she kind of threw

the coin and said to my mom: that’s the first thing you thought, that’s what, what result did you want to get from the coin, but my mom said, like, i want give birth, he says, well, koch in ninety-eight, here. and my mother said that that’s it, i decided, made the decision to give birth, told my dad about it, my dad said like, yes, everything is fine, then we will give birth, so you heard this legend, when at what age, well, i well, that is, well, that is, of course i’m not five , but it’s either 10 or so, my mother told me or my mother told me herself, grandmother, father’s mother, what is her attitude towards their marriage, what are you like for her, i was the first granddaughter, there was a lot of communication with my grandmother , it seems to me that she tried to replace my dad a little, but i saw how... my grandmother seemed uncomfortable for communicating with her ex, daughter-in-law, yes, because there was once a precedent, that there was the first year, i was about six years old there, it was the first summer when dad had already left there, and my grandmother took me

to the dacha for two months, and my mother wanted to come see me, but my father’s wife found out about this , told my father, my father called my grandmother, said that she was no longer in our house, like you want, you want meet meeting. behind the fence with the child, that’s why later, accordingly, the mother stopped coming, that’s all, well, yes. you are holding yourself on your hands, on your legs, on your heels , on your legs, on your feet, on your arm, and you have insurance, no, you are without insurance, yes, there is such a truck, it’s beautiful, here’s another one they called you a cannibal, but there’s this little rabbit like you, you’re fooling me now, okay, now i ’ll turn it back on you, fool me, try to repeat it, go ahead.

wrong, zhanna, come on, zhanna, best of all, new season , tomorrow after the evening news, of all the civilizations living on the planet today, the most ancient is chinese, and almost always china has been both the most populated country and the first economy in the world. remember, in the famous travel book of marco pola, an italian merchant, he described with great amazement that power, that level economic development, which he observed in chinese cities at the end of the 13th century, the famous monochronic painting, chinese poetry, sophisticated literature, china, of course , was ahead in sophistication, well, almost all countries. after the end of world war ii, the soviet union immediately took patronage over china. more than 10,000 specialists from the soviet union worked in china and co'. gave almost the entire modern chinese economy, one of ping's first decisions

after he became the leader of china was to create an institute for the study of ideas bukharin, so the sinicized model of nepa operates in china. premiere, civilization. film seven, china. on wednesday, on the first. dear viewers, you are watching the triggers podcast, its host tatyana krasnovskaya is with you. sergeina sebyan, charming victoria, is our guest. are you currently dancing? temporarily not yet. and why? eh, because i don’t work and, as it were , financially, but does this mean that you don’t dance? dancing is generally free, i ’ll tell you secrets. no, at home i dance, dance, dance, yes, i'm used to it since childhood, this was my salvation, yeah, now my sister found the same salvation in this, that i usually locked myself in the room.

well, that is, i’m pulling myself out of my shell

, showing that for me it’s clear to show myself - this is my great weakness, and at the same time, not a single person who truly dances better than you will criticize you, and hate will fly from those people who would like to dance, but won’t, and there are couple dances that you like, where the man still participates in the process, yes, only me i don’t see myself in them, no, wait, you don’t dance such dances, now it turns out, for me it was that i went to a male teacher, it was already a test, well, he’s just my friend, and how would i do that, i think, okay, then let's get back to the fact that i'm a man and how you feel about it, and you're a specialist, and that doesn't make me a man, or makes me not a man, or what? no, i ’m not so scared, i came to the specialists for help, yes, you still try to understand one simple thing, that, for example, i’m no longer a specialist, i’m just a man, who looks at you, that's all. but no, i

want to run away, hide, run away, god, just don’t look at me, i want to run away, so what? it seems to me because i no longer have the strength to be in a mask, and i no longer have the strength to hold my face, i’m not ready to open up, but what needs to be opened up in order for us to be able to communicate at all now? you must? openly, well, stop controlling yourself very tightly, i don’t know, pronounce a phrase that i will tell you 100 times in my head, before i tell you it, yeah, what happens if you're not ready?

it’s hard, i understand, but continue to keep it, i can’t, it’s just very hard, what ’s happening inside, everything

is squeezing very hard, you want to shrink, where you felt it for the first time, all the communication with dad. any communication with your father is a constant control of yourself, is constantly predicting how i am, what i need to answer, like he threatened you, with silence, with silence? ignoring, yes ignoring, they have the same rhetoric in this regard with their mother, mother is also a bitch, that is, ignoring, which is why i say that you are in in general, all this time we did not live in a wonderful family, in a barracks in which everyone raped each other, and plus - what about

my mother they always told me, lord, what a mother you have, but inside me it was all, well, no, well, you can't. and mom , well, that is, i don’t feel good, what happened with my father, with my father it was simple that you need to understand, you need to accept, he is like that, and at some point, well, you start, and someone will accept me, you are very you can give your children a lot, vika, i have a fear that i might harm them, look, you will definitely harm them, you might not to be afraid, because parents are there to harm, but you can, but you can give, in addition to the fact that you will harm. having experienced everything that you have now lived through, you can give them a lot, because you have become very wise, believe me, even though we are talking now in the context of some kind of domestic violence, emotional violence there, but that’s all what you perceived as a child, your childhood thinking

shaped it, in fact it’s just a relationship between two people, they are of some kind, no relationship not really to you.