and well, she begins to get hysterical that at least let vika out, no, i won’t let you out anywhere, i don’t remember what he specifically told me, but i remember that this picture, then he eventually persuaded her, and we all went out together, well, she said, i’ll go and take vika home, and i remember how i was standing in a small elevator, with a stroller, with my aunt, and he was such a very tall man and he leans towards me like that and says: it’s all because of you, that because of me i don’t know, but it was after that i finally became strong be afraid of men. according to our legend, petro poroshenko is recruiting fighters for his personal private military company. what is the average price for training one serviceman, from one and a half thousand to 2.0 euros per person, includes accommodation and three meals a day, this is the average price per week for a ukrainian serviceman, that is, this is how much ukraine spent during these years, well, this is at a discount , even at a discount, in many ways poland is involved in training the ukrainian army. this gray zone under the army has been removed.

it turned out, the first thing that came to mind was moral rape, that is, it won’t be actions , they won’t beat me, i don’t know , they won’t touch me, but they will simply destroy me with words, yeah, but with what words, threaten me, i don’t know what i can do with you have everything i want, such power over me, uh-huh, so he, how can i say , scares you with his presence, how do you live this fear, how do you behave, do you stop breathing, do you shut down?

i huddle in a corner, well, that is, i kind of sit on the floor, press myself, trying to imagine as much as possible in my head that i’m not here and nothing happens take up as little space as possible, but have you ever been in childhood, perhaps you have some? such memories of witnessing a casual sexual relationship between your parents or your mother with her man of some kind? well, at the same time , you understand that they had a sexual relationship? yes, of course, how could it look in your opinion, not in the sense of sex itself, that’s where you are, where are they at this moment? that i was in the next room, i was in the room with my brother, and my parents were with the driver, they were doing something there, yes, but i i never heard anything.

it happens, that is, such control, is everything okay, is everything fine, control, yes, but in my family never, well, that is, my mother was there before, when my dad and i started living, i don’t remember ever raising their voice , that is, well, accordingly, i was never beaten, i never saw assault , plus i never saw quarrels between parents, but you feel right away if something is wrong, now i have learned to feel very clearly.

family in which you are emotionally blocked, well, relationships when you need to understand that you are not you can do nothing so as not to spoil this strange status quo, yes, that’s why i have a big problem with manifestation, you are afraid of being inappropriate, uh-huh, yes, in any of your emotional reactions, be it laughter, be it a request, in general , what is the danger of being loud, bright, and arrogant even to some extent, this is that, for example, i loudly for... laugh, everyone will look at me, everyone will laugh at me, and since i i was bullied a lot at school, well, i know what it’s like when they bully you, make jokes and do some kind of actions

does, why are they doing this to you, i don’t know, this was probably one of the biggest questions when i grew up, why for what? because i was quieter than water, not ... always grass, yeah, but i was always on the lookout for someone with me, and i don’t know, just name-calling, and i even had a case, once we were in a children’s camp with school there were two girls with us, high school students, 3 years older than me, we lived in the same, well, kind of room, and once again returning from a walk there, i come and see that my bed

all... thank you, this is not a compliment , this is not a compliment, you know, in this sense , the words of ilf and petrov suit you very well when they described madame gritsatsueva, all so airy, calling for kisses, because you got dressed a kiss, of course, you understand, that is, now people are watching me and my mother ; they really won’t be perplexed, and i am perplexed. that’s because everything you ’re wearing right now, the way you look, the way you speak, your facial expressions, your gestures, and there were a couple of moments when you, well, you could shake hands it was clear that you are really overdoing yourself when you say something, but in general you are absolutely organic, perhaps this is

a kind of mask that you are used to, but even if you are accustomed to this mask, then it is very directly organic for you, that’s why i say, you answered, or you are a person who answered the question for himself, for what? i was bullied there at school, they bullied me, there, well, i understand, i understood, there, i was, i don’t know, an upstart, let’s assume, yes, and so they hurt me, i understood, now i, accordingly, upstart, conscious, adult, and no one can hurt me, so, i don’t understand yet who you are, the one who answered this question or the one who never answered this question, i have an assumption, it’s hard for me to have contact with people there, i was there as a child, because i never reacted to their actions in my direction, that is, i didn’t have, i didn’t give a back reaction, that is, they hurt me, i didn’t have i don’t know that i burst into tears in front of them, that is, i was just flint, it’s at home, well in general, well, that is, for me to sit like this and get me out, you have to really try really hard, but yes, then of course it gives off

a lot in that i come home there and it leaves a strong imprint on me, you have to have that fantastic patience, and you are sick at school, you have a mother who... for 5 years we have witnessed constant violence in your family, and i will assume right now that your father raped your mother, emotionally, as you put it, and that this is the state in which she could not move, in which she was absolutely frozen in the relationship, now i have the feeling that i understand that i am talking to a person with quite serious post-traumatic syndrome and this... post-traumatic syndrome arose as a result of the fact that it was as if you were forced to keep your eyes wide open

watching for a long time how one person mocks another, it’s quite possible, i directly imagine the picture that i’m small, and he comes close to me, but i don’t understand whether it’s a man or a woman, they put their hand close to the wall, well then there is how i would say that he is blocking me, and is telling me something very quietly. but it’s very menacing, and i just understand that this is some kind of memory, well, like from childhood, i can’t understand whether this is a memory or my fantasy, that is, this is what came to me and that i’m just sliding down the wall down and just say: please don’t, but i don’t remember it so clearly, i’m not surprised if my memory blocks it, i just understand, but it’s clearly not, because of course, according to the stories of my mother, that- then there is her best marriage and that she loved my dad madly, they had a wonderful family, but i understand perfectly well that well... i wouldn’t have so many problems now if everything were so wonderful,

if it were all wonderful , but mom is obviously such a protective mechanism to embellish reality, yes, it can’t be that she really loved what, but mom spent her whole life telling victoria about what a wonderful loving dad she has, how attentive he is, it’s clear that mom tried and just me -it’s confusing in the sense that she obviously she lied to you, well, in the sense of lying from the point of view of your reality, yes... mom tried to talk to dad, they have no contact at all, that is, they are there, well, he doesn’t greet her if he passes by, but what does that confirm? my theory, and what is the legend for your family of your birth, my mother at that time, well, as i understand it, she lived with my dad for a year, she left her first husband for my dad, and my dad, and my mom got pregnant with me, mom mine said that well, i told my father, otherwise he said, make a decision, that’s what you’ll make, like it will be like this,

i, well, i don’t care, and my mother couldn’t make a decision, she was friends with a neighbor, she went to the neighbor, well, somehow it’s clear to share this burden of responsibility, the neighbor suggested she throw a coin, yeah, but she kind of threw a coin i told my mom, the first thing you thought was that this is what result you wanted to get? from a coin, but my mother said that, like, i want to give birth, she said, well, why do you have to give birth in ninety-eight, so my mother said that, like, that’s it, i decided to make the decision to give birth, i told my dad about it, my dad said, yes, everything is fine , so we’ll give birth, and you heard this legend, when at what age, well, i’m still well, that is , well, i mean, of course i’m not five, but so there’s 10, my mother told me or my mother told me herself, grandmother, father’s mother, what is her attitude to their marriage, what? you are for her, i was the first granddaughter, there was a lot of communication with my grandmother , it seems to me that she tried

to replace my dad a little, but i saw how my grandmother seemed uncomfortable because she was communicating with her ex, daughter-in-law, yes , that's because there was once a precedent that there in the first year , there i was about six years old, it was the first summer, when my dad had already left there, and my grandmother took me to the dacha for two months, and my mother wanted to come see me, but about dad's wife found out about this. dripped on my dad, my dad called my grandmother, said that she was no longer in our house, like , if you want, yes, you want to meet, meet behind the fence with the child, that’s why later , accordingly, my mother stopped coming, that ’s it, that’s it, you , well, yes, why the legendary the soviet aircraft designer antonov was assigned to the ukrainians, there is an objective shortage of national heroes, all of his engineering and design...

it was you who pumped up the country of ukraine and europe for a year, now that people don’t want to leave the square, you are extreme, that yanukovych decided to hide behind the christmas tree, some? berkut members are attacking one person , allow me to resign, this is not your resignation, they are not afraid that the radicals will take power, yanukovych has his hands on the steering wheel, and whose hands are these, here they are, move it across the maidan, premiere, tomorrow after the program time, the maidan should not subside under any circumstances,

dear. viewers, you are watching the podcast triggers with you, its host tatyana krasnovskaya, sergey nasebyan, charming victoria is our guest. are you currently dancing? temporarily not yet, why? because i don’t work and well, it’s financial. but does this mean that you don't dance? dancing is generally free, i ’ll tell you a secret. no, i dance at home, i dance, i’m used to it since childhood, it was my salvation, yeah. my sister what i found in this was that i usually locked myself in the room, turned on the music, first danced , then started singing, and well, it was as if there were always concerts at home, but outside the door, that is, for me it was my fantasy world in which i i closed the door, turned on the music, and i’m not in reality, who knows that you are dancing at the moment when you are dancing, no one, i’m alone at home, how could you tell

people that you are dancing now, on social media, okay, and you do it, no, will you do it? “if necessary, i’ll do it, that’s for sure it’s necessary, it’s definitely necessary, because it’s really a very good way, now these very social networks are available to us, and for you to dance, as they say, on the air, it’s scary, scary to show your weakness, what’s your weakness, you’re not a good dancer, well, because that either this would be a variant of the fact that if you don’t show weakness, then it should be rehearsed, it should all be clear, if it’s free.”

for me it was that i went to a teacher, a man, this was already a test, well he's just my friend, and i kind of think, okay, then let's go back to the fact that i am a man and how you feel about this, and you are a specialist and this does not make me a man or makes me not a man, or what? no, i’m not so scared , i came to a specialist for help, you still try to understand one simple thing, that, for example, i’m no longer a specialist, i’m just a man who... will look, that’s it, no, i i want to run away, hide, run away and god, just don’t look at me, i want to run away, so what , it seems to me, because to be - in a mask, at i no longer have the strength to hold my face, i no longer have the strength, i’m not ready to open up, but what

needs to be opened up in order for, well... we can basically communicate now, what should you open up to me, stop controlling behave very harshly, well, i don’t know, pronounce a phrase that i will tell you 100 times in my head before i tell it to you, yeah, what will happen if you are not ready to tell me something, i can -something, i have this, i can say something wrong, the emphasis is wrong, the word is wrong say, but you look stupid, what should i do? laugh at me, then what? well, you feel bad right now, right, so let this turn out bad? i can’t, can you, what are you feeling now, what’s happening to your body? - it turns to stone, my arms and legs become cold, and the emphasis is already wrong,

they become cold, correctly, with... what is happening inside? everything is very compressive, i want to shrink. where did you feel this for the first time? all communication with dad, any communication with father, is constant

control of oneself, it is constantly predicting how i, what should i answer, how did he threaten you? silence, ignoring , yes, ignoring, they have the same rhetoric with their mother, in this regard, mother too, that is , ignoring, which is why i say that you, in general, all this time you have not lived in a wonderful family, in a barracks, in which everyone raped each other, yes, plus - what happened to my mother they always told me: lord, what a mother you have, but i had everything inside, well, no, well, not an ideal mother, well, that is, i don’t feel good, what happened with my father, with my father it was simple, you need to understand,

you have to accept him, he is like this, and at some point you start, and someone will accept me, you can give your children a lot, vika, i have a fear that i might harm them, look, you are definitely for them harm, you don’t have to be afraid of it, because parents are needed in order to harm. the relationship between two people, they are of some kind , have nothing to do with you, actually have nothing to do with it, but the drama that has formed in your head is what it is, and of course, your father did not give you

the protection you wanted, namely that's why this is expressed in this very fear of men, because men can really do anything to you, i changed the timbre of my voice, my posture, everything is fine with you, you see, and you can calmly listen to me and even listen and even seem to listen all this, yes, but i control you, that's the thing. you need to understand that you also know how to manage, and for this you need to learn to attract attention, hold attention and give attention, here are three things that are important to learn to do: attract when you want in any way, not immediately very obvious, attract, hold it and let go, that is, so that you don’t flicker depending on my mood, yes, but so that you control this process, that is, you take this attention, hold it, let it go, take it. held, released, that's why i suggest you do some short things, but if, for example, you dance, then report it, that you

danced there for 15 seconds, see what happens there, what comments, what reviews , there, i don’t know, likes, what else will it be there, reposts and so on, yes, but you hold out for 15 seconds, that’s enough, then a little more, a little more, a little more, only in this way, but with retention, complexity, i look at people who have, for example, there , well, even if they are friends , this is said loudly, i don’t know there, friends with whom they can meet, have a cup of coffee there, there with people with whom they worked or were friends there for 10-15 years, for me this causes such envy is that i can’t do this, i can’t do this, the world is very dangerous for you, and relationships with friends, relationships with the world do not work out so easily, because you are defending yourself. because it is not safe to open up, because you have some experience, but you have so much love, warmth, an absolutely charming girl, and if you give her the opportunity

to take a step forward, then perhaps the world will still answer you, yes he is will definitely answer, and it will cause a lot of pain, it will, of course, be your question here, but at the same time there will be a lot of good light for them, well, at some point it seems to me that i have a protective mechanism. work so much that i have a feeling that i will not survive this pain anymore, yes, yes, well, your task is simply to learn to turn on these mechanisms when you see fit, they never turn on by themselves, and the most important thing is to turn them off when you you think that this is necessary, it will happen , but you just need to devote time to it, just every time you come into contact with a man, well, better with men, but i mean any contact on the street, so you come in, you tell yourself, now i'm not i’m defending myself, they lasted 15 seconds, say, now i’m defending myself. turn on the defense again, let everyone around you think that you are a fool, it’s not scary, you can be a lovely fool, it’s better than a terrible fool, and you say, why live in order

to take risks? these 15 minutes, 15 seconds - this is just this, this moment of risk, but they are worth it, because there is real life, it’s true, tell me, vic, what are you leaving us with? with huge, huge motivation for further action, because i realized that a couple of years ago i chose the right strategy, that i began to change something in small steps, it’s just that at some point the motivation apparently ended, i wanted right now, so that i would wake up tomorrow, i would be open, without frames, without everything and free inside. now i realized that i just need to continue further, little by little make contact, and i liked the idea of ​​15 seconds, that i shouldn’t allow myself to be there, because i’m in extremes, then either i immediately, i should be there for the entire meeting open, and i feel it’s so hard that i start to run away from there, or that is, immediately close myself off, well, you’ve noticed how radically and even diametrically your attitude towards me changes depending on how i behave.

you’re making this up, i’m the same person, well, yes, so as soon as you see that you’re showing this movie inside, that you ’re reading this book, no one wrote for you that on page forty-six, you ’ll stumble , and the man will be to blame for this, you write it, if you are on page 23, page 146, it is still empty for you, so you write it, here if you see what you are doing and how you do it, it will be a very big help for you in your work with yourself, thank you, thank you, thank you, victoria, well, it was the triggers podcast, you were with him leading psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya psychologist psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. we talked with the charming victoria about the fear of men, about its causes and even, probably, to some extent, its consequences, but most importantly, it seems to me, about your authorship of this fear.

i'm sorry, i don't know how to sew everything up to fix how to breathe, to me, to the cadet, to laughter, across moscow, through the snow, i’m still looking for you, i’m ready to scream, but you know how much i love you, and that everything without you is a failure, without you a failure.

you know, how ashamed i am, i don’t want to sleep without you, i can’t imagine you with others, hey, thoughts, thoughts, my thoughts hurt so much, a dove outside the window, and so on all day with me, i was afraid of you too i didn't like it. forgive me for my body, because you know how much i love you, and that everything without you is a failure , without you, a failure, you know, well no shame, i don’t want to lead a mess, i can’t imagine you with others,

i can’t imagine you with others... i, i can’t imagine you with others, i, i can’t imagine you with others, yes, yes, yes , but you sasha, how much i love you, and the fact that without you it’s a failure, without you it’s a failure, you know how ashamed i am, i don’t want to.

not just one guest, this girl visited us three times, once, by the way, she was even the host, and this is not because she lives ten minutes from our film set, but simply because she is charming, amazing, cutie, beauty, smart, and today she will tell us something very, very interesting, meet, our guest is mia boyka, hello again to everyone, antosh, drum roll, please, yes, my dears. my beautiful, please us , please please us, these flowers remind you of how beautiful you are, how you thank us, dear, very beautiful, thank you, girls, we have enough

time to sit here, yes, so no, yes , and for this we need free hands, so i’ll ask yours assistants, in fact - take the flowers to the garden so they can be put up for now, thank you, do you know each other at all, no, but i’m a fan, i listened to your songs as a child , how old are you, 27, well, you’re not so little anymore, well , when i was a teenager, i listened to it at school, watched clips, i’m very pleased, firstly, and secondly, i want to tell you that you are very beautiful, thank you, you have a very cool voice, and i know that you are with lyosha filmed the video with a pigeon, yes lyosha. and with lesha i just filmed a bunch, half of mine, this is what it is, i was filming with him, and because of this i recognized you, lyosha, all your seven children, all of them, the whole family, you so sincerely

say kind, warm words to each other, and i want to say that you guys, here look, for all the girls, men , well, always, it seems to me, for each of you they did some actions in any way, let me start first about some unusual act,

here my young man did such an unusual knightly act, i think he is very afraid of heights, on march 8 he climbed the fireman's lift to the fifteenth floor to give me flowers. video, here you can watch it, so come on, wow, wow, i’m not afraid of heights, but you didn’t know, yes, he’s very afraid of heights, but he wrote, i’m not afraid of heights, i’m afraid of losing you, god, how sweet, girls, i want to know from you what feats men performed for you, the coolest thing is that my first common-law husband sold his mercedes car so that i could film a video, there were dances, because i had 100 dollars in my pocket,

young man , it just amazed me, he honestly was the last thing he did, my when we had never seen each other in our lives, he was already your youth. we met and had never seen each other before, and he came to the airport to meet me in the morning, although no one had ever met me before, my previous boyfriend had never met me in my life, didn’t pick me up from the airport, didn’t even send a car for me, and he just without knowing me, without seeing me even once, he came to pick me up at the airport, picked me up, took me home, gave me a gift, gave me a plush bear, left it at home, paid for utilities, and i was like, wow, no one has ever done this before, like that we expect feats from men so that... i also need to tell a story, of course, of course, we are waiting for a feat, recently a very bad event happened in my life, which to some extent even broke me, and i didn’t have anyone around this moment

of a young man, a friend was nearby, and before him the word i’m nearby , you know, just the word i’m nearby, it didn’t matter, it always seemed to me that i was alone, no one was around and i could handle everything myself, and i’m like i never even thought about the meaning of this word in my head, that’s when a bad situation happened, the person said that i would be nearby, for the first time in my life, for the first time in my life, my friend like that... was really nearby, and for me this is truly a feat, because now this word in my head makes sense, it was not no gifts, nothing , just a person was nearby, probably this is the strongest thing that i can now somehow evaluate, so somehow, he gave me faith in this word, this is cool , i want to take this opportunity to make a musical a feat, even the mirror is broken. above the fragments to bend in the reflection is forgotten, then you will see

me, and love, what kind of birds are there, the cold on the crazy bird, let it clog your window. they will dream of you, they will dream of you all the same , and the only one clothed with light, my bright one, why do you need me.

of all the civilizations living on the planet today, the most ancient is the chinese. china has almost always been the most populated country and the first economy in the world. we can recall the famous travel book of marco paul. the italian merchant described with great amazement the power and level of economic development, which he observed in chinese cities at the end of the 13th century, intricate monochrome painting, chinese poetry, sophisticated literature, china, of course, was ahead in sophistication, well, almost all countries. after the end of the second world war , the soviet union immediately took patronage over china, more than 10,000 specialists from the soviet union worked in china and created almost the entire modern chinese economy.

the world is not promised by fate with its usual course

of affairs and days, give him the strength to win, i wanted to thank all the doctors, volunteers, surgeons, excuse me, i’m already in tears, because i live, and these brothers are there with me, it ’s worth it, when you drew, what were you thinking? i thought about victory, going home. on saturday at the first , no, you used to work with sash tequila, now you are free, i understand everything correctly , or something is wrong, look, i’m not alone now, i have my team, which i assembled several years, but now i’m moving without a producer, it’s true, i left, but how did it happen, and how and how wait, how did it happen, we worked for 5 years and there was more contract for 2 years, it was five, but he once called me very persistently and extended

this contract, in total it was for seven, and he extended it when i was still a child, and i had to sign, well, i signed it myself, it’s my own fault, in general, i didn’t plan to leave, because if i sign something , and even if i later regret it, i always fulfill the agreements, but he called me himself to a meeting and said, and i feel like you’re more into me like... could at the very first initial stage, you gave me everything you have it was, you invested a lot in me, and i don’t want to quarrel with you, so, but he said, and i feel that you want to leave, it’s probably better for us to separate, you’re worth 150 million, maybe your boyfriend wants you getting married will pay them, and my ex-boyfriend had

a very wealthy family, and it seems to me that he just wanted to make money, that is, he himself invited me to leave and buy myself out, and 150 million is for... i have a large amount, because a big sum for everyone, you know, tequila offered you in plain text, so that you could be bought out, that the guy bought you out for 150 mults, he suggested that i find a client myself who would buy me out for 150 million from him, and then something happened that i didn’t want, and then something happened that of course shocked me, because that for six months he banned me from releasing songs, he removed me from all the awards for which i was nominated, and i couldn’t. do nothing, because according to the contract, his name is his, and i have no right to do anything without his consent, and i realized that this is probably the end, because this is already sabotage of my business reputation, he even forbade you to perform your super hit gagarin, that’s right, for some reason he’s on he’s on yes, he was announced on the song of the year, i go out so

charged with the dancers, you hear, on the song of the year and the author is announced, alexander tarasov performs miya boyka, and i come out, sorama is in shock, wait, and you wrote this, me and another girl wrote this song a long time ago at jaron’s studio and sasha just said there, make a beat like ggagi’s, and left the studio, everything else we came up with, the song belongs to him, all my songs, all my songs belong to him, that is, you alienated him, yes, but the name about the name, he didn’t tell you that i should have called me, you should have called me, all the adult artists in terms of me have already lived the experience, they say what are you saying? in general, or something like that, you just can’t do something like that, but i, in general , that is, you can’t even perform them , to summarize, all the songs that you wrote, one way or another for 5 years belong to alexander tarasov, and the label, and the label, you have the right to fulfill them, i, we agreed, yes, i can fulfill them, but this not my songs, and you don’t get money from them

, accordingly, it’s not clear here, that is, you get radio, you just perform, i, well , you know, i’m very glad that i can perform them, because imagine... summer labor - this is all a program for a whole concert, if now i couldn’t perform them, then i would probably, i just don’t know, wait, i know that you lived with him in the same apartment, no, we didn’t never together, only once we vacationed in bali, and lived in the same villa, but we never lived in an apartment together, the man just gave you have the keys to the apartment, he said live, yes, and he did it, when he extended the contract for 7 years, he said okay, i’m already living, he saw that i was killed, yes, yes, and he let me live when he was quarantine, but i moved out of it.