let me give you another quote from you, which also seems very wise to me, and this required a certain courage to say all this. a massive nato attack on russia is not the most likely scenario: the fear of nuclear war has largely subsided, but the desire to commit suicide is not visible among europeans. achieving a military balance in conventional weapons with the entire nato bloc is an impossible task and, as the experience of the soviet union has shown, destructive for the economy. we need to go further, strengthening strategic deterrence, making it active and preventive, that is , preventing catastrophic developments . russia's main adversary must realize that its own assets in europe are already at risk. when i say that courage was required here, i mean your statement, with which i completely agree, that achieving a military balance in conventional weapons with the entire nato bloc is not an easy task.

but in a very active part, i do not mean in this case starting with nuclear strikes, by the way, you hope you understand that i i don’t have this, of course, unconditionally, but based on the fact that in relations between two nuclear superpowers, peace can be built or... a semblance of peace, the absence of direct war, direct confrontation, yes, can only be built on fear, on fear before, well, nuclear destruction, if you like, these nuclear weapons should play for the cause of peace, nuclear weapons should prevent their demonstrations, if you will, demonstrations that there are nuclear weapons on the table, they are not fake, and there are...

this is proposed, we are talking about making it weapons were a means of deterrence, in my opinion, the concept of deterrence in itself is not entirely adequate, it would be more adequate to translate, well, to translate is probably wrong, it would be more adequate to call what we now call nuclear deterrence, nuclear... intimidation, namely intimidation,

that is, creating a sufficient level of fear that would allow you to stay until the red line, not to cross the last red line, but i still want to ask you one question, i will be grateful for a laconic answer: do you agree that in order for this nuclear deterrence to look more realistic, it is necessary for the enemy to understand... that you have types of nuclear weapons that you can use on the battlefield, and not just strike, bang right away? washington or london, and that is one of the purposes of tactical nuclear weapons , or battlefield nuclear weapons as they are sometimes called , to have an arsenal of capabilities that demonstrate to your adversary that you have the ability to do something that...

united states of america, if we will to honestly call a spade a spade, may decide that a tactical nuclear war or a limited nuclear war in a theater of war far from the united states is, in principle , not a serious threat.

how to strengthen deterrence, so it is very important that the enemy understands that you have a range of capabilities, from the most global to the relatively modest, but that he also understands that you are not faced with a choice when you immediately have to either press the button for global catastrophe, or what is called accepting their terms, i agree with this, but except except availability. that the enemy believes that despite this determination to use them, determination, therefore , the huge arsenal that is at russia’s disposal will not be used by russia, and

will rather capitulate than use the means that are called deterrents. dmitry, i completely agree with you again, determination is very important.

were ready to share their thoughts with us and more broadly, so that these topics, complex topics, sensitive topics, raise in your works, thank you, thank you, metri, it was a great game, we'll see you on air next week. often for me it’s coming to my ultimate goal, never stopping, always going towards my dream and never seeing limits in it, when everyone is alive, healthy, there is this inner peace, when

they give me very high grades and give me a medal, this obligatory love for your child, otherwise it will just be monitoring. for the child, and not to be a father, since the grandmother is a teacher, she can reincarnate to be a snow queen today, a grandmother tomorrow , whatever you want, even according to the pechkin villages, live happily, live in the moment, everything will be fine, there will be peace in your soul, so that every person achieves what they want and so that dreams are forgotten. mark twain once said that when i was 14 years old, my father was so stupid that i

could hardly stand him; when i turned 21, i was amazed at how this old man had gotten wiser in the past 7 years. hello, we have gathered our thoughts today. about teenagers, their fears of hopes, well, about our fears of hopes about our future. hello, dear friends, larisa mikhailovna surkova, psychologist, candidate of psychology. absolutely then it’s fear , pain, i remember correctly, yes, and you can

say a little more about it, it’s easier to say about fear , because - they encountered something that i didn’t encounter in my teenage youth, they faced the information world , which has fallen on them with such a weight , and they are simply afraid of so much choice, such responsibility, everyone around is saying something, this... this is like one of the options for fear, this is fear in general, this is what life is like fear fear of life fear of what nothing will work out for you, plus everyone expects something from you, it’s just one of the variants of fear, but here’s the fear that nothing will work out, the pain is connected - here, well, there were just guys who were faced with some kind of evil because somehow in my teenage youth, well, even boys will fight there, girls will even fight and somehow spit everything out, but somehow they became a little more aggressive, the pain became deeper, plus, of course,

it seems to me that they saw too much of something in terms of video content , which traumatizes them so much and delivers they feel such moral pain, something that i, for example, could not see, but you can somehow comment on it, well, firstly, how true is this, these are the two main feelings, well, actually, where does this come from, in fact, the feeling very clearly described and truthful, but a slightly different interpretation, if we talk, unfortunately, children are teenagers, their most common phrase is: usually in a conversation, when i speak to no one understands, they absolutely sincerely live in a world where they are lonely, it seems to them that they are not needed, their parents do not accept them, children, they talk about it openly, before, when i was little, or my little brother, everyone likes him, everyone loves him, everyone is interested in him. i’m different, i don’t understand what’s wrong with me, i’m uncomfortable with my body, i don’t understand what’s wrong with me, my

mood often changes, school is in my throat, no one understands me, i’m lonely, i’m alone, they’re true feel absolutely in this pain, i had one boy who said: “you know, i live in a bubble of pain, i don’t understand at all where i don’t feel pain, i it always hurts, because i am absolutely alone in my world, although a successful guy studied well, i have friends, but i talked to him already in such a difficult state after such a post. well, what is this, this is this teenagerhood, that is, relatively speaking, 12-18 this is it, well, now , unfortunately, everything is shifting, the times of profitsky are gone, yes, when we say that markotvena too, that is, at 21 they are still teenagers , they are already at 10, and that is, in both directions, this is unexpected for me, both sides are now, unfortunately, even teenagers crises are clearly divided into two, early and late, that is, at first it will be very difficult for children and parents there from 10-11 to 13, then it will be a little bit.

you know, it surprised me, i found out by chance, then i asked my children, i mean 11, 13, 15, they said, well, of course, it’s so that for some reason they are incredibly irritated by punctuation marks in correspondence, and i licked my i ask my fifteen-year-olds, i say, what is this, what is so-and-so here, he says, well, this is terrible, he says, these commas, this is a period, you don’t even know what you’re yelling at me, uh-huh, here, that’s what’s not close to them in our world , it’s unclear, in fact, you know, unfortunately , teenagers... in principle, irritate, here we can put an end to it, yes, that is , in general, everything irritates them, because firstly, these are

hormones , this is physiology, we adults can’t do anything about it except understand and accept that it’s hard for them, if we remember and look through, for example, our photographs, or if older children, older children have photos and videos, we will understand what in a year or two they undergo colossal growth in terms of physiology, when boys can grow 40 cm when you're all like this. what do you worry about, what do you listen to, who are your friends? and what is important is that they listen to the answer, because if you ask the parents, when you give them a cheat sheet, there are a lot of them on the internet , you can create 100 questions for a 12-year-old child, they can ask

a question, but they are sincerely not interested in the answer, and the parents say: i don't want to listen to his music.

because, well, he just obeyed, i take good teenagers, good ones are those who grew up in church families, and in church families, there are even non-believers from a non-believing family, so he comes, he’s interested, guys just come to me, i now take the best ones, that is , those who are so smart , who study very well, they read, they read the bible, they read the catechism, but there is no faith , this experience, yes they, they even come to confession, they say, well, by and large , i mean, but i really want to believe and...

she danced there, i looked like that, in general, it’s good that my daughter dances too, i and it’s like, well, well, well, we have a youth group somehow, well, yes, it’s cool, okay, all that, well , it’s strange, but they don’t come to me, not as a priest, they’re already here, but still, what? in our world it’s against that, that they don’t understand, that irritates them, well, whatever, but i mean something like some behavioral things, it’s not clear why the parents changed, the most important thing, you know, when the child is small, well, everything is somehow normal, cozy, comfortable, well, here i need to potty train, well, here i need to feed, well, okay, i went to first grade, everything is just such tasks

interesting for parents, they really like the parental role, when it turned out that he has such an oblique curve.

now we understand that in teenagers this is connected with age, with hormones and so on, that in this sense there are no good teenagers, yes they are, but there are good parents, yes of course, that is, a parent, unlike a teenager, can should behave, a parent should not, because now you are saying, i myself, well, i just remember yesterday, when my daughter comes and says, tell me me, why am i telling you this? yes, he is a child , of course, he will be a child for us all his life, my eldest is 27, still a child, but he thinks that he is already growing up, that he is beginning to walk the steps to god in the form of his

parent, what should he you can trust, he really wants this trust, he can no longer live in the stage of trust a priori, yes, here i am your parent, you must trust me, and i ’ll think about it, he wants this, mutual exchange , the parent trusts him, it’s clear, that not everything, we are adults, that we must filter, but... we are not from him we move away, we don’t tell him there, your place is there, don’t ask me questions , you’re not interested, and you’re still small, because he really wants to feel big, and the most important thing is the trouble of a teenager, well, trouble in quotes, probably i hope that he still loves his parents very much, this is an amazing feature given to a child from birth, he loves his parents without condition of restrictions, because as parents we often love, i love you when you behave well, in this, well, remember,

in general, even be prepared for the fact that if we will really tell some of his experiences, thoughts, we may not like it at all, today we have gathered our thoughts about the world of teenagers, about their fears and hopes, priest pavel ostrovsky, psychologist larisa surkova, i am vladimir legoeda, we continue, but that’s all - there are good parents, yes, but this is what this is, this is it, look, here’s the first thing, a good parent is one who doesn’t try to be a friend to their child, this is a big problem. because this is the fashion, and we are friends, we ’ll drink beer together, here we’ll do something else let's do it together, he will have a lot of these friends without you, but he has only one mom and dad for the rest of his life, he needs support and security in

you, he must understand that you will accept him as anyone, and not as a friend, but there with some restrictions, conditions, whether i like you or not, but there really are such parents who understand that they should not be a friend, they should not be in the role of a teenager, this is also a very funny, unfortunately and sad story at the same time, i ... i sometimes recommend a camera to my clients in the kitchen put it on, and then look with different eyes at how they communicate with their teenager, usually dad comes and says, i don’t need any further consultations, i understood everything, it looked terrible, because yes, the teenager is talking there, but you yourself, who are you there , yes, that’s all, and his dad, and who are you , these two, this is how they communicate, when you look at it from the outside, it’s unclear who is how old in all this, the parent is the one who knows how to be on time, i’ll get up now i'll leave, cry, a parent is the one who knows how to hear, listen, to shut up in time, this is a very great talent , because a child, like when he starts to talk, he wants to speak out, sit

down and be silent at any cost, you will pinch yourself or do something, but sit silently not on the phone, don’t be distracted, listen , yes, it may take some time, but this is what your child will remember years later, he will remember some conversations with dad or mom somewhere in the evening, yes, when he really needed to reprimand. where you were silent because it was just vital for him necessary, well, in general , i guess i just thought, one priest told me, i say, i remember how i was in childhood, but it was true even before adolescence, he says, my dad and i fought, and i overcame my dad , of course, i said i didn’t understand that then, but here he is, he remembers it, now he’s over 50 there, he says, i did this all the time, it was something for him, so, well, how can my father understand, that or mothers, that this is that very moment, there are a lot of such moments, you can go watch a movie together, really sincerely. watch, yes, it doesn’t matter who chooses it, you can choose these films one by one and sit laughing until you cry, this is also what will go down in memory, what he will remember, a mother can cook something with her child, make dumplings

, telling stories at this time, yes , that is, this is all emotional, this is what is remembered, because the child knows the main thing, they notice me at this moment, they don’t ask me standard questions that i ’m not interested in talking about, english, and you slept, they often complain about their parents, well parents often complain. it’s true that there are very good parents, they all have one thing in common, i myself am grateful to god that i once had this experience of silence with teenagers, that’s a different story, yeah,

this is out of all these... parents are united by the fact that they at some point they can simply fall silent to listen enough over a long period of time, so what do you say when they complain to you about parents to children, what do you say? i’m saying what my father told me, he says what you understand if suddenly something doesn’t suit you i liked it, i didn’t do it on purpose, this is very important to convey to a teenager that there is conscious evil, when it causes you conscious pain, and it happens when a parent, he thinks... that he is doing the right thing, although at the same time it causes you pain , but he doesn’t want this at all, and this is a very important difference, because there are true tyrants, but there are parents who are sincerely mistaken, it is very important for the child to understand that this is , well, like, that they are not your enemies, here is laris mikhailov , about special knowledge that it’s called, i, however, was not in adolescence, in childhood i was still among children, i tried to master a certain body of specialized literature, some holy names, which means i learned

the right... psychologists, i had such a remarkable case, i’ll tell you about it , and you tell me what i did wrong, it means in some smart book, there’s something topinreitor, something so serious, as they explained to me, to say that this is a standard situation, go eat, that means lunch, go eat , and 20 times, i say, don’t do this, you need to come up, say, lunch is served, go eat, and stand, wait until the child, i think, well, everything is clear, it’s cool that the method, so to speak, i’m from the world of science, everything is clear to me, two plus, i’m coming.

what he is experiencing, so there is nothing better to do or not do, what he thinks about, about the simplest things that do not need to be read in books, this is firstly, as we have already found out, sometimes sitting in silence, this is clearly talking about your feelings, demonstrate them, but do not overact. this is a problem, unfortunately, for many mothers, yes, so dump it on the children exaggeratedly, this is not necessary, but if, as father pavel gave an example, you are divorcing your husband, sit down - tell the child in human terms, yes, this happens, people, well , you separated, something happened, share your feelings with them, because there is one problem with children , very big, it won’t last long, about twenty years, modern people too, because society is very infantile, they are all insanely self-centered, it generally seems to them that the whole world revolves around them, their parents

are getting divorced. guilty, i behaved badly, yes, or i did something there, it happened, i guilty. i remember when covid happened, the teenagers began to panic wildly , returning to the topic of fear, they really have a fear of life in the future, when covid happened, no one understood whether we would survive or not, and it was so scary, they began to panic, and the children sincerely said during consultations , it’s probably my fault, you know, i think covid happened, because i was there, this, this , this, and the first time i sat, my hair moved like this, because that i seem to understand everything about... exactly not, but here this is not selfishness in its purest form, it is precisely the feeling that you are the root of all problems, because you are the center of the universe, i am different, then, what is called a question aside , i’m like a pretent, what do i notice, well, they just come to me already after all, there are over 18 years old, yes, but what i see are the maximum requirements for

others, demands. the last two generations, let’s put it roughly, they are very infantile on all fronts, psychologists also notice this, but what you are talking about, they are really older, they have passed through, after all, your sample is different, they at least they passed the unified state exam or based on some scores you ended up here as students, that is, this is still a kind of elite sample, we cannot consider it absolute for everyone. our 17 years should end, but what you call is absolutely understandable, it comes to them from our great love, we love them so much,

because we once lacked in our childhood, and we lacked both emotionally, and financially, that we dump it all on them, here you are here here we are you somewhere we will love you, and here we will love you, where we could not love you, here we will give you a gift, and any of your desires. is instantly fulfilled, we taught them this, then they came to some uncle who says: well, i didn’t fulfill your wish, i didn’t check the test on time, everything else is where they were taught, nowhere, who, where we from them we demand that everything should be fair with us, we should have it, we are for you , you are for us, you have rights, but there are responsibilities that parents also have towards you, i completely agree, but there are some simple methods , here i am, for example, on the first lecture, when they all catch up, well, towards the end of the class, yes, i say , guys, this is... a picture, it was today for the first time, the last time, from next time i’ll be the last one to enter the classroom, you can knock, complain , writing letters means human rights, i ’m the last one to come in, i’m not asking you to come earlier, but you’re at class 9, at 9:05 i came in, don’t

be late for me, this is very correct, because you immediately voice the rules of the game, unfortunately, it rarely works out that way with parents in families, because you know, as they say in childhood, two with a thread, two with a sniffle, two with something else, yes, that is, i...

maybe my wife and i decided that at least everything would be fair with us, maybe we were somehow very the children were relaxed, but we don’t demand from the children what we don’t do ourselves, because i remember, i had it right there, i’ll probably say more with larisa that the sense of justice is heightened, for me it was very heightened in some ways. then a period of time, and if you give another reason, then in fact, everything can collapse, and the church will collapse, i remember one teenager he told me a wonderful phrase: i don’t believe it because...

he has no experience, let ’s say some kind of conscious person in church life, so it will be easier for him to enter church life together with his peers, so something needs to be done there at the church. you have a lot of activity, or , after all, contact with the priest is more important to him and he can easily do without this get-together, it depends on the person - these are just two two different such, well, such large groups, well, they are a little larger, but there are two main ones, these are the ones that are very important to have sociable, it’s important, something was nearby , there are those who, on the contrary, are not very tactile, they are just such introverts, they will stand alone and the like, but what exactly unites them all is they, when already they start going to worship services, they carefully look at how others believe, yeah. this was one of the main disappointments for me, when i suddenly suddenly realized that i had always been taught that making the sign of the cross is very important,

suddenly i saw people crossing themselves like this in front of such a car and even me then i was born, i remember when i was 15 years old , this phrase was born that, like, kamarik drove away, pecked the grain, like a dove, and i and i was just such a rejection. and literally with my son and not only with my own, because my children study in

an orthodox gymnasium, by the way , today with father pavel too, i didn’t mean that, but we have advanced guests, and that’s why i shared joy with father pavel that i have a 16-year-old son, he got into an orthodox gymnasium when he was 13, it was his choice, he had a choice of two schools, when we moved, finding ourselves in the gymnasium, he said we are staying here, although we certainly did not expect this from him, the gymnasium is about...

nine people in a group, we begin to discuss for 15 minutes 20, no, the next day i speak to moscow schoolchildren from different schools , 200 people, this happened just now for days, i also give them this example, there is a president, well, great, yes, that is, but they can’t name anyone, that is, this is it, what pr people now call the delization of space, this is much more, i actually have a question, we have authorities, let’s not talk about adults, right? for teenagers, well, universal ones, as i understand it, no, because

when one of the kids said blogger so-and-so, everyone else turned and said who it is, well, no, in fact, a child’s authority can only be formed through action, when he sees the results of his actions, his actions in general, i’m talking about about after all about about public ones, listen to those same ones, we have all the marketing on this, all the advertising was on this everything is built, marketing and advertising are done by adults who very rarely turn to psychologists in order to... communicate, you see that it’s really here for you,

these people whom you personally eye to eye , that is, we can do this, well stop one step away from generalizations, yes, as we were taught in the academic environment, but still carefully say that there is definitely a huge gap between fame and authority, and that’s why i’m sometimes amazed by certain sociological surveys, where it’s obvious that they ask about authority , and people answer about fame, yes, unfortunately, time is pressing on us, i also want to ask you what i see, there is a problem of fathers and children, but it is connected. to my daughter, precisely due to the fact that

everything is changing quickly, so, it seems to me , there are no cultural ties, it’s just that between me and my daughter there are already two more cultural layers, two layers that she doesn’t know and i, maybe not even i know, that’s why somehow get involved in the music she listens to, well, it’s true, there are connections there, but you just need to be directly involved, but it’s surprising, there’s another problem here, you can’t find the algorithm, because suddenly sometimes some kind

of answer: the most amazing thing about these children is that they endlessly want to learn a lot and are ready to absorb this information in absolutely huge quantities, this makes me very it makes me happy when i talk with teenagers , with any teenagers, you definitely learn something new, and it ’s always surprising, because i usually fall silent, especially when i have to talk with a large number of teenagers somewhere in schools, i so want to share it, this a lot of information, wonderful, wonderful, and the saddest thing is that they are scared, they are really afraid. what we started with, what is absolutely correct, yes, father pavel said, fear is pain, if you think about it, when children have fear, pain, it is already terribly painful, they are really afraid for their lives, for their future, for their parents, our children are afraid for their country, i’ll clarify very briefly, because my

experience is a little different, maybe i didn’t fully understand you, but i just see the problem that they don’t want to know anything, so imagine, i spoke at... recently , i told these 200 guys there, this is a media class, and i tried for half an hour to convey to them the idea that if you want to become a journalist, then curiosity must be ingrained in you, as i do to my students all the time i say, you can’t help but have questions, a journalist can’t help but have questions, yes, here i jump in front of these, in front of the student, they come, these nine people, i’ll jump some there, they’re like, well, well, it’s funny, it’s funny what else he ’ll depict for us, yes, that’s how it fits together, well it just seems to me that no, that they ’re already tired of everything by the time they’re 18, they don’t want to know anything anymore, well, i can’t get into that about 18, again, then everything with me, well, we’re talking about teenagers, teenagers are a little earlier, children want to know a lot of things, but parents are often uninterested and incomprehensible, there is also the question of what we mean by curiosity, because we want them to learn something about physics, chemistry,

tretyakov gallery, they want to find out something in a completely different area, here we will not find the correct answer having learned what. they don’t live, you’ll even find out what they say in one popular program, but what can you tell us, sir? i think that despite a lot of pain that exists, especially related to the number of divorces and so on, they are incredibly bright, it’s just amazing, i don’t know how it was in the last generation, i can’t see myself like that, it’s strange , i see their country, incredibly bright, incredibly brave and really wanting to achieve a lot of things, it’s simply amazing, and what scares me most is because of them, what scares me the most... it ’s the unknown, such a rapidly changing world, i don’t have time to analyze myself so much anymore, so i want to help them, and everything is changing very quickly for them, too, now this era is quickly appearing there and artificial intelligence, this is virtual reality, a world that is not clear how it is believed that there will be yes, this

unknown, but no matter how i no longer worry about myself, maybe because i’ve lived a little, there are these worries for them, and i they seem to feel this this this the unknown quickly me. she scares them too. thank you very much, larisa surkova, psychologist, priest pavel ostrovsky, i’m vladimir ligoi, we were gathering thoughts about teenagers, their fears and hopes. dear friends, the creative industry podcast is live. with you is its presenter elena kiper, producer, music video director and roman karmanov, general director of the presidential fund for cultural initiatives. and our guest today is a real people’s artist, composer, author of a huge number of hits.