well, what does it mean to react negatively, this is her reaction, no matter how unpleasant it may be for her, but that’s her, how can she go to a psychologist, how did it hurt you, why did it stop you at all, what did she say categorically no, i’ll lie down in front of the door and won’t allow this, yes i won’t allow it, i don’t want them to communicate, and with a very serious scandal, but that’s the point, the scandal was so serious that it traumatized you , and not andrei, including yes, right? andrey, at that time there were four, yes, roughly, that’s why i say that you know something about trauma, but how can i say, mm, somehow very, well, as it should be, in general, superficially, from the point of view of the general formation, occurrence of trauma, well, so to speak, its consequences in the formation of personality, some such words, and it’s as if you took it from another person, that this can traumatize, and

then you begin from your history, from your memory, to find confirmation that this so, as if the parents divorced, it’s a fact that the parents don’t live together, it’s a fact that dad has another family, a fact, as if this is a fact, it can be both a plus and a minus for andrey, you don’t know how it will happen, no one knows how it will happen, it can be minimized by minimizing... but this can only be done on the condition that three adults now, viola, you and your first wife, understand that there is nothing more important than andrei’s mental health at the moment; if three adults take this as a priority, then andrei will not injured, andrey will be injured.

only as a result of the fact that the conflict between adults becomes his internal conflict will he take this drama and this trauma from you in the same way. if, for example, his mother tells him that his father chose another family there, it will be a trauma, if his mother says, well, listen, dad loves you, we just separated, so dad now lives there with that family, you are with me, but dad loves you, there is no trauma if dad says: for example, i left your mom because she is a fool, trauma if he says, i fell in love with another woman, but i respect your mother, she is the best mother in the world, there is no trauma, when two adults cannot resolve a conflict between themselves, then this conflict splits the child and his consciousness and he will really need it somehow digest and form around this a shell of mental psychological defenses, which as a result will become like...

somehow adults, so of course you need to deal with your wife, your ex, and not like with andrey, certainly not think about what’s true can injure, the truth can injure, but any injury will absolutely make this person stronger with a high degree of probability, that’s a lie, it will ultimately, well , how can i say, make him weaker for one simple reason, because he will have one reality in his head, another in life reality, the discrepancy between these realities will cause splitting of the personality. i ’m speaking very harshly in this sense right now, but that’s true, yes, then yes, then it will be difficult for him, but the truth is, it’s just the truth, then the question is, how can you step over your mother? child, if it is impossible to agree, yes, how is it even possible to do this, there is no way to overstep it, no, well, you must understand that if you cannot agree, then at least one of you must live within the limits of adequate. understand that you, for your part

, have certainly done everything you think is right, and what is right is simply the truth, yes, you need to find, you need to find words, you need to find. maybe i’ll tell him, dad, that you deceived me, what will you tell him, mom didn’t want me to tell you the truth, trauma, you know, you’ll have to blame it on another, well, on another part of his life, on his mother, so i don’t really understand why your ex-wife seems to be like that, well, i mean no, of course i understand, but

if we count on the adequacy of three adults, then of course this needs to be done, and moreover, you know, you convey i just don’t know, maybe she will watch this program in the end and hear it. us, or maybe you will tell her that it is not the presence of other children that traumatizes the child, it traumatizes the child when mom and dad lie, let's take andrey, yes, after 25 years, he is already 32, here are two options, andrey has no brothers, and andrey has brothers, believe me, in the normal scenario, that everything is in order with you, andrey and his brothers will feel much better, than andrey bezbratev, because if you can build such a relationship so that children love... each other, communicate with each other, support each other there, really consider themselves brothers, yes, stepbrothers, but there are thousands of examples, millions of examples when this is wonderful allowed people build relationships with each other, but it’s just the situation itself that you’re in now, you

’re also getting tired of it, and it’s as if the only person who is now not tired of anything and doesn’t suffer in any way is your first wife , that is, it turns out that you took the child. and you two, i mean with her, took the child and sacrificed him to her peace, well, excuse me, well, really, if we talk here with such a juvenile position, yes, when we stand on the side of the child, why are you crazy are they both gone, no peace? an adult is not worth it - the psyche of a child, this is the first, second, well, yes, there was a divorce, of course, she thinks that you did something bad, you did the wrong thing and you... probably somewhere there you also think that it was possible somehow differently, i should have gotten a divorce earlier, i don’t know, i should have done it differently, probably it doesn’t matter, but still there are two adults, these two adults couldn’t cope with what is called marriage, well, there are two of you, and the child must simply understand it, realize it, he

will understand, well, 7 years is like that age when, in my opinion, you minimally traumatize him, well, for sure, for now, but the longer you delay when tatyana says correctly, the more difficult it will be for him... to understand later what you are parents, and what could not be said before, this is how he will talk, are you afraid of what, what if you suddenly expose this truth, and your wife does not agree with it, what will happen then, yes, the ex-wife, well, most likely the main obstacle is probably the first ex-wife, yes, what will happen there , just imagine the situation , you say,

and there is something that needs to be put at stake, if she is ready to deprive andrei of his father, well , they married the wrong woman at all, what can i say, well, i hope that this is not so, all you can do now is how time to invest your attention in the relationship with his mother, well, in the sense of talking, explaining, how to clarify all this, that well, because tanya is asking you the right question, what a legend for andrei, why are you not around? it’s as if you’re playing a game called let’s save the family, let’s save this illusion for andrey, but you’re lying to him, it feels like, you know, it’s like you feel very guilty before your ex-wife, as if this is her instrument of influence on you, so you

can’t feel free and make the decisions that you consider necessary, i have more... in front of the child, not my ex-wife, but in front of the child, why? because i left, and now i’m not spending time with him, and... probably this is what’s gnawing at me very much, the genius of tatyana’s assumption is that feeling guilt towards the first wife, you transfer it to the child, you did nothing to the child, you did not leave him, you cannot offend the child by the fact that you have other children, you cannot offend the child by the fact that you have another wife , you can’t, you can offend the child by abandoning him, but you didn’t abandon him, that’s the point, you’re to blame before her. you are watching the triggers with you podcast , hosted by tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey

nasebyan. leonid is our guest and we are discussing whether it is worth confessing to the eldest son from his first marriage that he has he has brothers and half-brothers. you said at the beginning that then you couldn’t imagine, for some reason you couldn’t, for some reason you couldn’t imagine this cause-and-effect relationship, that... this whole layer would rise, is that the point, is that your fault? yes, and also including the fact that i was with andrei, with my ex-wife, that at that moment i was somehow even, well, deepened by new relationships, yes, by my new plans, by building a new one. and i missed this moment, how it will be possible for them, how the child

can react, because that’s only later then it came that yes, there really could be problems, it’s so interesting, you seem to be afraid of the consequences all the time, as if you are thinking that you cannot predict the consequences so it’s better not to do it, because there may be some open up some, you know, like a person, when he knows that he will go, he may be there, well... he walks through territory that is unknown to him, he understands that in this territory he can hurt his leg, get hurt there, but he has some kind of fear, so in order to overcome this he must need the confidence to really step down this path, to have some guarantees, something is the right decision, but there are no guarantees, but there are no guarantees of confidence in this, but there are no guarantees, then you know, it’s not the amount of time spent with the child that matters , but how...

how could you be guilty of what and how the feeling of guilt will develop inside you, that it should have been different, it should have been done

differently, that is, you will always come up with some kind of reality in which as if this event does not exist, but it exists, this already exists boy, there are these two boys, as if it already exists, and this must be accepted as a fact, taking responsibility for what adults have done, then the feeling of guilt will not interfere with your communication with your children, then these children will have brothers and friends friend, well, in the sense of communication. with a friend, but you can do this, either by talking with your mother, and as if directly conveying to her the value of this openness, this discovery, well, either one of you will do it, and if you do it, then yes, you have there is a risk that she will not give him communicate with you, you with him, and yes, it will be bad, but otherwise everyone else will simply suffer, as if here, unfortunately, you will have to go so deep uh...

all the grievances, expectations of her that she obviously can i must have talked thousands of times, tried to convince him, and through arguments, pressure, and, well, nothing. convince me that they need to communicate, i really want them to be in your relationship, you and between you and your ex-wife, without children, she hasn’t gotten over your divorce yet, that’s the point, i think, yes, so this is tatyana about this says that you need to talk it out, she has a very strong resentment, including

her husband, and this does not allow her to build her relationship, well , you both need this purity between you in order to move on, of course, for... so that the child calm in all this , but only when he is clearly able to live, the child will be able to cope with it, understand what is what, and he will not live in illusion, so if you say that your relationship is built only on that to improve andrei’s quality of life, then this is right there, not buying toys, there medical care, insurance, i don’t know about schools, education, that’s it... cleanliness, why? yes, this is what i have, because my parents, they just didn’t communicate at all, after the divorce i have them, even they have no communication at all, i understand that it was very bad, because it would be better , if they communicated with each other, like my mother, yes, with my father, they would do things more productively, and it would be better for us, there for my brother,

so if they had some kind of communication, communication, but they absolutely did not want communicate with each other. therefore, against the background of this, i would not want to repeat what i had, my parents, while you go there in a different form, but you repeat the same story, you seem to be precisely because you missed the communication of your mother and father in childhood, regarding the issue of your trauma, even though you said that they did not exist, and due to the fact that mom and dad did not communicate, you now place communication with your first wife higher than the mental health of your child , because you are trying... to save him so that he doesn’t see what you saw while acting out your grass, you understand, it’s as if you are repairing the relationship between your parents, but how can i introduce them, how best to make sure that the child reacts normally, and the fact that i have children in another year, ugh , i think that

you can do this in different ways, you can first show him the two half-year-old children, and then say that they are his brothers, or you can first say: because we are now going to go to your brothers and after that show, i think, that this does not matter very much, i would argue for the second approach, first communicate, so that they communicate, and then say what i can’t do, i say this and that, tatyana, on the contrary , comes up for the second, let’s be honest, and since we’re talking about honesty, let’s not burden andrey with additional , well, yes, additional suspicion, because this could result in him being left with the idea that... when communicating with other people, there is always some kind of story that can unexpectedly come to light, so you need to be hyper-attentive, that what can it lead to this or that communication, so let’s still be honest, i would first, and in this sense , sit down and talk to the three of us, you and his mother and andrey, and as if only when you two adults can say this, if the mother

categorically no, well, come up with any convenient way, but tatyana is right that you first need to just tell him that... we will go there today, i want to introduce you to your brothers, and answer all his questions, he will have a lot of questions, it’s important that you answer them is very important with him talk about how you feel, what is happening to you now, what are you thinking about, what fears do you have, why are you worried, and what do you expect, after you introduce them, you will also need to spend time with him, he should understand that the world has not changed for him, he also has a dad, there is a time where you are... and in the same way work through this situation with him, talk about what happened to you, how it was for you, how you liked it, didn’t like it, what you liked and what you didn’t, what would you like? tell me, is yours will your ex-wife agree to go to a psychologist with you? i think no, she will say that no, i don’t need it, this person is very stubborn, so

try to convince her of something, you don’t need to convince her, but just conveying the wrong thing...

that he has half brothers. find all lab podcast projects on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru.

dear friends, the creative industry podcast is live. with you is its presenter, elena kiper, producer and... and roman karmanov, general director of the presidential fund for cultural initiatives, visiting us today, a real people's artist, composer, author of a huge number of hits that are in our blood in the genetic code, alexander sergeevich zatsepin, hello, hello, hello, i’ll ask the first question from all the viewers, now there are a lot of people passionate about longevity, your recipe, well, such a special recipe . no, it’s just, well, how is my lifestyle, probably like this, i didn’t smoke and don’t smoke, nutrition, try to follow a certain

regimen not to overeat, this is a must, well , i need to move at my age, for example, if i don’t move, that's how i am i’ll just sit and watch the first channel, but how to move, what does it mean to move, move or walk, my mother, for example, she was 85 when she was six, she says, if i don’t walk for an hour, i don’t feel well, so walk, that means she didn’t do all sorts of exercises there, but i did exercises, i know that you wake up and do exercises lying down, 35 minutes, no, well, lying there, you just need to pull your heels, like that with your left, like that this is here with the heel there, no, well, the whole leg goes like this, uh-huh, uh-huh, like this, like this, and, that is, so that it’s here moved. but you definitely need to do this, well, then a few

exercises, well , it takes me about 35 minutes to do this, it’s a pity, of course, time is tight, but it’s necessary, if you’re doing yoga, then you sit on the floor, one leg here, then the other, this hand grabs the thumb, and you’re all... bending like this somewhere to the side, then your head up, like this, down, up, your head is in this position, and your torso is twisted 20 times, then the other leg in the other direction you do this too, i can’t do it, unfortunately, except for physiology, if we talk about the psychological state, but for longevity, there’s probably some in your rules of life? i don’t know, i don’t really do anything, maybe it’s some kind of genetics, you know, here too, it’s hard to say that alexander sergeevich,

somewhere i met that in your youth you were called iron shurik, why iron, well, maybe i worked like an iron robot, like an iron woodcutter, i worked every day from morning to night in the morning.

but i always tried to make it into if there are two or three songs, i say, well, we need one at least a hit, but one and you don’t know what it will be, or whether there will be one, which means you have to make every hit, and then you look, maybe one song remains there, it’s up to the people to decide, i had a case, that means it’s a film was like this, when you tell the audience, say, who watched the film brave shirak? such silence, very quiet, no one will say anything, that means no one watched, i say, there were two songs, you probably already know one, the wizard is not a good one, yes, everyone knows the wizard, inin arkady copied the script when we worked, there were two songs, lyrical and wizard, he says, this is the lyrical, it will be a hit, but no one needs this wizard at all, and he’s doing the opposite, you know, how it turns out, but...

i don’t remember this movie well, because it came out in 1976, and i was born in seventy-seven, so well, in general, but we know the song, alexander sergeevich, it turns out that now you are working on a fairy tale about tsar saltan, also alexander sergeevich, that is, alexander sergeevich, for alexander sergeevich in general wrote - new music, new songs, and - there are do we have a chance to hear these new songs not in a musical, but somewhere on the air. someone fulfilled it, there is hope for it, but how is it , how will fate decide? are there any performers that you would be pleased to have them, well, even in my musicals, which moza directed, and there she has an artist, that’s who she worked with, and there is an interesting singer, performer, by the way , his

name is anton, and his last name is zatsepin.

it’s making claviers, that’s all the technique, it takes a lot of time, you write the score, but how, i always do it myself did the scores for all the songs, that means you hear perfectly, that is, you had absolutely no problems with your hearing at all, that is, usually musicians have a slight hearing deformation, but you hear everything, any note, any orchestra, everything so far since you create it yourself, it’s amazing. you’re still sitting at the computer, the royal is in the other room, it’s been 20 years now and it’s already upset, but i don’t even play on it, because there’s this midi keyboard, there’s any instrument there, and pianos, everything, anything, i have there is no time to go to another room to play, i just don’t have time to play at all, i just need to compose and work, so you say

that you work in the morning? you're ruining your health like that, what do you think, you need to wait for some kind of inspiration, inspiration comes when you work, it will come, so i'm melting away, for example, i work from 9 to 1, then lunch, then i go somewhere, that's all like a publishing house or somewhere else

, go to the composers’ union, do some other business, and then in the evening they work again, but they won’t finish it until night, because if you work until night, you won’t finish something, you’ll start to think, maybe... it ’s better to do it this way, you’re having bad sleep, ruin your health again, you can’t do this, when you ’re working, inspiration will come to you at that time, but it’s still not for everyone day, today you will compose three beautiful works, but tomorrow you will not compose anything, it will still be such a sine wave, anatoly konstantinovich, mario, give it to me as a wife, you can give it to me, it’s a good idea to collect a dowry with your dad, from us here... embroidered shirts, so very beautiful, in the vologda province has preserved an amazing ritual of getting dressed, the bride was placed on a table decorated with a rich tablecloth, and her friends helped her put on her wedding attire, who came to us, well, who, who is young,

bring out our beauty, well, the groom, to be in the wedding, years , driving, years, we're playing a wedding, on sunday on the first, graffiti in sao paulo is everywhere, it's true that you can choose any place in the city and draw what you want, if you start drawing at some police station, then of course you arrives, they won’t jail you, but they won’t slap a fine on you small, what kind of men are here in brazil, very attentive... and caring, it’s clear that sometimes someone’s husband can go to the left, our blood is hot, but we have our own woman, she is always alone, i see what you basically have women work here, we just want the women's coffee business to develop along with the men's equally,

brazil, coffee is just bliss, the lives of others, premiere, sunday on the first, this is a podcast cre. now it's so different from what it is now, of course, everything has changed, because can buy everything, that is, the process looks different already, it’s no longer writing notes on the lid of the grand piano, it’s already computers, everything is a computer, i played something like that, if i need it, i have

notes, of course, they need to be edited, they’re wrong , it always turns out there are still some errors somewhere, some kind of, it’s necessary to waste time, edit anyway, but not write it out to everyone. this is already easier, so i took some kind of chord, i immediately have a chord, notes, all these are there, otherwise i would write every note there, it’s time to waste, that is, you you use the most modern technologies, of course, all the programs now are like that, wonderful, there is no feeling that there could be less soul in this, less soul, somehow lamp-like, soul, soul you put out when you compose, composed, this is the most important thing, now i’m still important, self-criticism is important, i did it, i composed it, and it seems great, it turned out well, i recorded it, 4 days passed, there are 4-5 days, you turn it on and listen

from the outside, not not the performer, but so that sides listen, do nothing, listen, oh, it’s not like that here, it’s bad here, here it’s necessary in front, and the chorus is bad, in general you have to throw everything away, then then... either you throw it away, or finish it, or something turns out, like this, so, because without it it’s just to give away like this, well, it’s unknown what it will be, it’s... there will never be a hit, but it can be a hit, like, for example, there’s only mick, it just popped into my head, this melody all at once, i went up to the grand piano, played it, wrote down the notes, just in case, it worked, but it doesn’t always work out that way, well a song, a good melody can be ruined with words, then it’s great, it seems to me, well, derbyanev didn’t spoil it with words, yes, you’re lucky, of course, great, this meeting, this meeting of two great people, of course. he wrote, you know, the poet often says, give

me a fish, we called it a fish, poems, so simple, but the size, let’s say, we don’t care, yes, i would write there, my dear dear, uh-huh, uh-huh, and so on further, dyarbinel also had such, he says, you just tell me, if you’re writing fish, then please don’t write, do some of your own, because that it distracts me, if... the words are so sweet, dear, dear, beloved, with all the emphasis, mine, from these words, but then he refused altogether, and he asked me to sing 10 verses of mine, sing me 10 verses in his sad, sad voice, here he is to me, i sang three verses to him, then edited them, made him 10 or 12, he says, you know, i work, how do i turn on the tape recorder, walk around the room, listen to music and write poetry ,

that is, first of all, the melody, well, first yes, then, then me, so this is for cinema, there should already be some specific theme, let’s say, well, a love song there, for example, or a wizard, like this, i didn’t know that it would be a wizard, i wrote the music, i just wrote all the songs the music first , then it means that derbenev came to me, and that means i played it for him, he says, well , give me this... let me write all the music, and he, he wrote poetry, when he

wrote poetry, he again came to me, but back then there were no phones like that, you called, listened, said everything, everything, it was necessary come, he came home, i looked at the poems like this, we played everything, then we had to record it, which means you record it first, since the vocalist and i already have an agreement there... in such and such a key, which means you start making an arrangement, it comes, vitaly kleiot, such a musician, helped me a lot then , we were already writing when music began, mm rock, the seventies, a little different, before that everything came from jazz somewhere, but this came from other music, in this regard he brought me special musicians, those who it can be played.

either he sang a little there himself, or with poetry, he, just like the island of bad luck, came to him, the song was not, because it was planned, it was not in the script at all, the island of bad luck, all covered with greenery, absolutely all. there is an island of bad luck in the ocean,

there is an island of bad luck in the ocean, all covered.