uh-huh, thank you, just so that our viewers understand, uh-huh, okay, in this context, let’s just go back to the first episode, when they said, you were diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, yes, or anorexia nervosa, but tell us how, what happened this is where you were at that moment, when this began to happen, i began adolescence. and i was a little scared, or perhaps even a lot, but the fact is that my parents didn’t really explain to me what it was, what happened to girls in general, in the sense that they didn’t teach you the concept the menstrual cycle, including, and when i saw how my body began to change, yeah, i was scared, shocked, maybe i resisted it. as much as i could,

that is, i didn’t like the way i was starting to look, yeah, although well, i was never fat, that is, everything was fine, and you could even say i was so thin, and that’s how it started, that is, as i understand it , hips and breasts began to form, yes, yes, i tried to wear something so that none of this would be visible, yeah, but you resisted so much, yes, that is, i stayed hair on my face, because i didn’t like how... my cheeks were appearing there, i didn’t want to grow up, not to grow up, it’s not about growing up, but the point is that i didn’t want to be attractive, and you understood that you were becoming attractive or felt that you were becoming attractive precisely as a sexual object, but i didn’t really like it personally, that is, yes, for some reason i decided to go to regulate with food, that is, to regulate.

knock down the cycle, or the cycle still remained full, and over time, that is, you were able still knock him down, yes, yeah, when i got to the hospital, i was already without a cycle, yeah, it was 45, that is, in general, you won, but at the same time you weighed, i don’t know, a kilogram at that moment 40, probably, yes, you are very purposeful, cool, yes, you can write an article right about you, and so, after the hospital, i left. with a huge increase, but

it was generally a liquid, then yes, that is , it was a liquid that was pumped, well , that is, several times every day, a dropper, glucose, something like that, some solutions, because there was severe dehydration, that’s right, or exhaustion, as they calculated, well, in general, my goal was just to get out of there, you know, i was waiting like a dember, when i came out , of course, i realized that god, what is this? some kind of mountain, which, this is not me, uh-huh, i, well , it was difficult for me to join the team, i was so closed-minded, and of course i tried to return to what, well, at least to a more or less normal diet to begin with, to a normal weight, i succeeded, for some time i lived again without anorexia at a normal weight, can i bring you back for a second, and how did your classmates react, for example, to the fact that you came? it was

not an easy time, because when i was walking along the corridor, and i heard someone laughing, someone saying something, mimicking, but you know, i was so immersed in myself, i tried to understand what with me, what should i do, how to get out of all this, how to get out, which , to be honest, i had no time for them, and maybe this was a plus that i didn’t react to it in any way, that is. defended themselves by withdrawing into themselves, yes, by distancing themselves from them, yes, that’s right, so, this was the first situation, as far as my mother took part in the first, essentially, episode, which was, at some point my grandmother called my mother and said, you know, she doesn’t eat at all anymore, not at all, and my mother rushed over as soon as she was able to, tried to feed me something, we went shopping with her. they chose something, that’s it, but

it all ended in hysterics, that is, i refused everything, then my mother decided to fraudulently take me to the clinic. yeah, it was already in moscow, this is the first time you went when they took my blood, i lost consciousness, then i came to my senses in a clinic in a closed institution, well, yes, and i stayed there for some time, yeah, my mother wasn’t allowed into the clinic, that is, she couldn’t visit there, well , naturally, yes, yeah, well, when i came out, i said that i hate you, i wouldn’t either... they don’t let a person die, yes, it’s interesting, but tell me, today at this point, you’re quite a lot of years old, then you said that you can cope with everything this, what have you tried in terms of, let’s call it, recovery, did you still go to psychologists, did you use any methods?

yes, you know, i went to different psychologists, including quite serious psychotherapists, and they offered me to work... with childhood, with the unconscious, but in this particular case, you know, i don’t remember much, that is, some things i, well, my consciousness, it either replaced it or simply erased it, when i am asked to tell about something, i either don’t really remember, or it seems to me that something happened, but i don’t even believe it, it seems to me that this didn’t happen, that is... everyone from childhood i can’t remember anything like that, there before the age of three, that is, in general, well, before three, few people remember you, let’s do it, yes, because they say that this is some kind of childhood psychotrauma, perhaps something necessarily connected with the mother , or this is an attempt to be

more independent, not to depend on anyone or anything, in this way, this is what my psychologists are up to.

which you cannot express to your mother directly, and if you cannot kill the mother who is outside, thank god, then you kill the mother inside yourself, and this mother is like a woman, and this mother as a person, that is, this is my offense against her, well, listen, there are no children who would not have reasons not to be offended, yes, or rather, to be offended by their mother, we all have reasons to be offended by our mother, but i i would look now not at the cause, but at your consequence, that this whole story of yours is about how much you want to destroy yourself, not to die, but to destroy in the sense of reducing, and then cutting off pieces of yourself, according to -you can approach this differently, in any case, in my opinion, the psychoanalytic position will be the most

adequate in my opinion, so look at it from this point of view, that if you express aggression towards your mother within yourself, because even... your desire to stop your maturation during puberty is essentially to stop the development of, well, a key female organ such as the uterus, to development, to make it incapacitated, and the uterus is nothing more than a part of the mother inside you, it is unlikely that this will help right now, which is deep, deep, well, there is no point, it seems to me, to speak on the surface here. in this sense, how to say, we now have no hope that that we will talk now everything will change, yes, but all that i can give you now, for example, or tatyana and i can give, is, in general , some food that you have not tried yet, food, a good clause, so here food for your mind, because otherwise your mind begins

to feed on you, and if you start just looking at it, because there is a reason to be offended by your mother, maybe as much as you want, in the end, let's be honest, now we are just moving on to the provocative method, your mother did not... did not give you time grandmother, she just gave you to your grandmother, no time was defined there, and it was not kept, she just gave you away and with all due respect there... a fan of your mother for giving birth to you, if we look at it from this point of view, we can see that it was really difficult for her, the word is difficult, this is called for a child who has no time for you, she had no time for you, she had to cope with what she was experiencing, yes, the death of her husband , and so on, and she really had to somehow get out of it, and you have brothers or dear sisters, no relatives, uh-huh, yes, as if sergei was saying that... my mother could have had different motives, but you read them as my mother had no time for me, the child could not

perceive it differently, of course, i wanted to be with my mother, of course, naturally, no matter how much you loved your grandmother, the desire to be with your mother was endless, and of course, every friday they expected that same mother to come who would want to be with me, but another came, the one who came constantly made remark, because of this, conflicts arose again, with which there was no contact, and as if... then you need to attract attention to yourself in at least some way, at least with some kind of manifestation, that is , i chose refusing to eat as a way to attract attention to myself? no, go deeper, you choose not to eat as a way to not be a mother, not to please her, to cause her constant anxiety, to kill her inside yourself, because as soon as you get better, you become like her, that is, myself... i also wouldn’t want to be a mother, so as not to repeat the same thing, or

not to repeat it, but as soon as you become a mother, you cease to be a daughter, and you are still playing that game, as if your mother will come to her senses someday, and you will finally become for real, that daughter, it is clear that now your mom has nothing to do with it, this is a woman who does not need to come and bully that everything is because of you, when psychologists say that all the problems are because of the mother or there are all the problems in childhood, they do not mean these mothers, they mean that mother, to receive that attention, that warmth, that care, that a closeness that never existed. welcome to

a city where even the stones under your feet can be precious. hello, ekaterinburg. emerald, it is a beautiful stone in itself, yes, and i think that all women probably love this emerald, unfortunately for us men, just chop it up, this is not the time to be timid, evgeny, the snow makes the filling unsurpassably juicy, dumplings. this is a small universe, below me how many meters are you talking down? 193, they say that you cannot simultaneously experience a feeling of visual pleasure and fear, they are lying, it is possible, life ours, the premiere is on sunday on the first, we are again together with those who love good music with all their souls, lilac fog!

and this is so cool, this is so fresh, guys, and the leg, and the leg, there is something in this, maybe, really, that’s enough already, this is all hip-hop, everything is there, three chords, a new season from 14 on april 1st, you are watching the triggers with you podcast. presenter tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan, our guest is nicole, and we are talking about anorexia,

our colleagues are watching us now, i know that many colleagues are watching us, they then tell me they write, so for the colleagues who are now watching and for you, as a future colleague, i can say that in long-term psychotherapeutic work , a psychoanalytic, psychodynamic approach, i would consider another version, you try to be very compact so that you have everything. .. mom took it so as not to take up much space, but you understand, that girl, not an adult woman, plays this game only when you become disidentified. the motives, desires of that girl who was afraid that she would be admitted to the clinic, she was admitted to the clinic, that her classmates will laugh at her, that my mother doesn’t accept me like this, and all these, well, essentially, you need to disidentify with her, leaving her with all the problems that existed, everything that psychology, psychotherapy can do in this sense , it’s like

finding a way for you to live all these elements that that child was missing so much. and live your life separately from your mother, separately from this girl, understand that in general, no matter what size you are, you, you, by the way, and what, what, what is a big plus of your anorexia, let's call it that, your disease, you know your body very well, and this is an invaluable gift, and if you start with this, if in the end in your training you delve a little deeper into... a body- oriented approach, for example, then you just have a huge store of knowledge about how your body works, which most people don’t have, and if you start just listening to it, nothing more, learn to just listen to your body, not study it with experiments on it, listen to it, then this there will be a beautiful melody, it's very

great, your training in psychotherapy is, in fact, psychology, psychotherapy. the plus is that you can take it not as knowledge, not as just science, not as theory, yes, take it and work with it right away, make it an applied mechanism, then you can help a huge number of people, thank you, well right now, right at this moment , it seems to me that the most important thing is that it’s just that it’s

not as common a diagnosis as it could be, but it’s very interesting, if you’re a little closer to your own emotions, yes, for example, to the same hatred, because hating your mother is not equivalent to not loving her, this is a separate feeling from the love that you experience, but you have it, and if you learn to live it, let’s say, autonomously from the relationship with my mother, to truly explore.

with this emotion that arises in you, well, it’s just important to get to know each other, then you will stop destroying yourself so effectively, that’s what i wanted to say, i contributed to my master’s thesis, it seems i hope, i hope, i wish you success, thank you for you talked to us about this today, thank you, what are you leaving with, is there anything you can take? from ours, from our communication, and of course, it was very useful for me to discuss my problems with you, and i will think about how i can further develop the topic of a body-oriented approach, about the fact that i know my body very well - this is right

to the point, the body, not just a body, an organism, yes, i even know how to tune it. something you are very purposeful, i repeat, however, only a very strong purposeful person can this is how to fully regulate, yes, about experiencing emotions, no matter what they are, yes, not only positive, loving ones, but also that is, learning to work, accept and live precisely some painful, unpleasant sensations. and for your work, because this will greatly develop your empathy towards the people who will come to you, and this clarification, look, is very important, that’s when

i said that illness is always an imbalance, yes, here i am i recommend that you establish a balance between listening to the body and by ordering him, you know how to control him, give him the rudder, that is, learn to give him, you know, like a metaphor, like... a ship with sails, but without a rudder, or with a rudder, but without a sail, it will either be him going nowhere it’s not going, or it’s going god knows where, yes, your task is to be this captain who controls both the sail and the ship itself through the rudder, this balance will be for you to sail, yes, this balance will be ideal, and what will you do first of all, eat a croissant, great idea, first of all, i would, i would hug my mother, hug, and tell me that no matter how uncomfortable

you are with each other, you are still mother and daughter, this is the most important thing, well, it was the triggers podcast, and we were with you, its hosts psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergey nasebyan , nicole was our guest and... in my opinion, it was a very deep conversation at night, you can watch all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. i didn't see yours. smiles, you probably hide it from strangers, you don’t make mistakes and don’t say unnecessary phrases,

plunging deeper each time, we take off our masks so that we become even plainer, then... how much life was needed to feel here and now that this is not necessary, a little new, so strange, you never know, i’m tired of deception, i’m confused this cool is going crazy, but i’ll give you another try, you never know again you’re so strange, i love you, maybe it’s really cool, i’m afraid. to give you another chance, my heart told me today, because it doesn’t matter what they think about us, even if it’s

strange, i’m grateful for what i have now what is now, everyone is looking for their own answers, but i feel that somewhere very deep... there are no secrets, whatever you want, just look, and how it should be done, again, you are so strange, little you know, i ’m tired of the toban, i get confused, it’s crazy, but i’ll give you another try, you never know, you’re so strange, love, i’ll serve. maybe it’s really sad, i’m afraid to give you another chance,

it’s sadness and i’m afraid. you never know again, you're so strange, you never know, i'm tired, but i'm giving you another try, you never know, again, you're like that strange, love, i'm giving, maybe you're true, i 'm afraid, i'm giving to you. one more try, love, i’m giving, it’s cool, i’m afraid to give you another

chance. friends, hello, this podcast is not a format of a place where each artist can reveal himself in a completely new way, and as always in this studio my wonderful people are karina cross, vale carnival, the gip group, and this is roman, nikita, arkady and alexey, of course, i, anton lavrentyev, and today, as i know, we, yes, we are not alone here, our guest is an artist who amazed everyone. not only with his vocals, but also with simply stunning beauty, for a moment, this is the mother of two children, nyusha is our guest today, hello, as always, we have more than one guest, despite his young years, this young man managed to win the hearts of millions of girls and even women of completely different ages, so meet akmaya , how sweetly you say, what do you think

unites you, besides beauty, unearthly, turn, of course, music, in fact, this whole event of yours is cool, it can really bring people together , that's why i’ll be honest, nyusha and i met, i saw, i can say you, of course, or you, i always ask, yes, i saw nyusha at several events, but i’m a shy person, i’m afraid to come here, but now, now we’ll sing... we will get to know each other, so your event, this musical one, really brings us together, of course , music unites us globally, but i know that akmal today even prepared a remake of nyusha’s song, she played trump card, yes, of course, well because that i can’t wait, i want to hear, me too, run away, take me, i want to where you breathe, hey! it’s a wet winter,

you can’t hear me through the rain, i’m in the balan, i swam in pubs, but, by the way, you also run around my shadow at night, we all know the words, right?

you sound so cool together, this is lenifit, perhaps anything can happen today, i wanted to tell you, here is your song, but - before there were no smart speakers, and it sounded from every teacher, please tell me how it happened that such a hit was born , i was inspired for this song by a life situation, at that moment i observed: a loved one who i was going through a very difficult situation in a relationship, that is, i always saw this person so cheerful, carefree, positive, here i find out, as it were, the other side of the coin in a relationship, that in fact, well, there is a very, very difficult story, against the backdrop of everything that’s why this song appeared, i heard you sing the song of our

lyubochka uspenskaya across the pole. it so happened that since childhood, my parents raised me on chanson, it so happened that i went to school on two-way, then somehow everything gradually outgrew, and i began to learn the work of lyuba uspenskaya, and the boys and i were sitting in karaoke, i was singing a song in polish, and one of our guys said to me: listen, it would be cool if you did some kind of remake of this song, you would leave it to everyone well-known chorus, but at the same time i would write new verses, and that’s how this idea itself was born. this is also a very interesting story, i was sitting in a cafe, in short, and my number called, i picked up the phone and heard this velvety voice that was so familiar to madness, this one, alec boy, she’s amazing, i just listened to the song, it was just amazing, i melted right in this cafe, my girlfriend was sitting with me, my girlfriend was sitting opposite me and... what are you

talking to, what are you talking to, she ’s looking at me, by the way, she’s sitting here, she won’t let me to lie, she looks at me, and i look at her like this, we caught each other, i say, this is love in uspensky, when i finally finished. i realized that she is always but as a result i met her in person and i am like this, she is always like this with open arms to a person, so she’s generally a very good-natured person, well, in short, she says that we need to meet with you, maybe we ’ll come up with something else together, but somehow, here she is... i’m working there somewhere, that’s why our schedules never lined up, let’s sing a song in pole style, let’s do it, don’t look at me, i’m my own enemy, i

traded you, let’s start with the verse, but there’s no one around, i’m going to one, i was a fool, sick of you, but unlucky, again a trap, the heart in my head is completely filled with you, i’m drunk, i’m drunk with you, i will no longer find peace, here right now we will carefully enter into the chorus, i understand everything correctly, yes everything is correct, you can actually sing like the love of the assumption, and i will come to you across the field and across the pole, i across the field and across the pole i will come to you.

oh, great, how good, in general, the maltese roberta mizolla, president of the european parliament, has a lot to do...

for cosmonautics day on the first. kagarin is a flash, a smile, communication. this was the face of the soviet union, which suddenly appeared to the whole world. 400 seconds, flight normal, people have been falling there for a long time, and he conveys in a cheerful voice that the flight is normal. silence and darkness, and you don’t understand what will happen in the next second. first man. in space, the first woman in space, feeling great, first spacewalk, first feature film shot in space,

mommies, how great it is that we are all here today, on saturday at the first one. nyush, you initially worked with your dad, your dad was a producer, what was it like when your dad produced you, it seems to me that it was very cool, because in fact - there was no such concept initially, that is, as if my dad, he wanted to find excellent conditions for me, that is, we talked with different labels, producers, there was such a long search path, well, how would he in the end , i realized that he didn’t decide to trust me with anyone. i was basically born into a musical family and of course my dad, he is also a composer with his skills and his experience, it was probably even strange to hand me over to someone somewhere, that is, he just had some kind of inner its uncertainty, but in the end he acted more

even as my music producer, i heard, it’s true, he mortgaged the apartment so that this would really be so, we simply didn’t have the opportunity, that is, how would we calculate how much money it would take to record there write down. material to shoot videos, at that time he was at a crossroads, that is, he could start opening his own business there, do this and could, as it were, essentially invest in me, and he made a choice. to support, well, yes, in fact, yes, it was a family business, indeed, his wife also participated, she was a co-producer, well, of course there were, there was everything, there were certain disagreements, but overall we still interacted very well, i think that this was the best option from all those labels and production centers and producers who could work with me, wait, is dad now involved in musical life or not anymore, no, not now, i can always go to him. turn and do periodically ask for

advice, for some kind of support, but i actually had a very important stage like this certain separations, because i wanted to ask, what was it like to separate from my dad, about yes, yes, it was a very difficult period, it lasted, yes, in fact, somewhere, well, probably even a couple of years, because i , when i met my husband, i just re-learned how to build a relationship just with my dad, there were actually several very difficult conversations between us, where we just had to... tell the truth, and i, and i cried, and my dad got angry there, well, that is we had just such showdowns, but it was just about, well, anyway every person has his own expectations, dad had his own expectations, he believed that we would probably work together all our lives, and as if to some extent, well, to some extent, he seemed to be completely directed, involved and in my project, so of course both my daughter and the project when it’s all booming, that is, of course you can understand it, well, well, the apartment is lost. everything is fine and the apartment, well, of course, no

, of course, yes, everything, everything is fine, everything happened, probably three clips for the apartment, for the one that was sold, three clips, dad, how i reacted to my husband like it was a thrill or not, no, normal, normal, but it was connected, because in reality, that is, as if i still had such an internal state, that a long creative path had been made, it’s as if i ... probably, as a woman, there was a request to start a family, children, that is, to some extent, of course, rest, because i was just tired of this tough schedule, of certain conditions, well, it just coincided, that we were slowly, that is, we were still working together, some other time was spent on restructuring, as it were, and then i just, well, that’s it, then i became pregnant and it was as if i had to 100% pause, well, as if i worked until the fifth month of pregnancy, let’s just be straight... all at once, here i am let's put the points where it is, i also

read that your husband tried to produce you, is this true or definitely not true? indeed, when we just, well , one might say, moved in together, we just moved in together, and well, he just began to participate more actively in my life, because well, as if we were close and there were such inclinations, that is, but it’s not even that he’s making advances, he’s just at least all the same, that is, he began to participate more in my life, was privy to some issues, then we also organized a concern. not connected at all, no, no, he ’s not connected at all, but he was connected with the organization of events and concerts, in his city, and how it happened that, of course, he seemed to become active, perhaps, i think, of course , he had some kind of reliably, but i very quickly suspended this process, i was like, honey, don’t even think about it if you don’t want scandals, but i just understood where this was leading, that is, as if we would be here and there and only got rid of dad there, yes, that is, this... well, i realized that of course

this is generally what not even simple, even purely, well , as i understand it, we will begin to get tired of each other morally, and this will simply lead to collapse, akmal, but tell me, do your parents take part in your work or what is it in general, you know, i i don't let my parents get involved in this because it seems to me that... i'm afraid of it, i'm afraid that this may not lead to anything good, that’s why i’m kind of at arm’s length, and your parents are somehow connected with music, why are you so musical, who knows, my mother danced something in her childhood, how much i know, but she graduated from pedagogy, she is a teacher of literature and the russian language, but not with music, my dad played football all his life, my grandfather too, in short, i don’t know where music really lives in me, but from a legal point of view, my dad understands me these... agreements, i'm in it the kettle is full, and i always send all

the contracts to my father, but recently i hired a lawyer for the first time, who will always be with me now, and so as not to be deceived, many artists, my friends advised me to do so, and i did so, 13 years later years ago you re-released the song “choose a miracle”, that’s right, yes, you got into a trend, because now, in fact, this trick is to give the song a new life, to re-release it in a different way, it... run away, take me , i want whips there, breathe, it's wet winter, through the rain, you can’t you hear me, i haven’t been swimming in

the clouds or anything like that.

that in one of the social networks i asked my fans a question with whom they were most looking forward to a duet, and at that moment my feed there just collapsed, and it seemed like there was one single name that was practically, well, 99% there, everything turns out , that in the evening egor sent me a screenshot, we all understood who egor was, but let’s for the viewer, yes egor krigor crete, in general, yes, that is, as if i had written like. why not, if you want to take a deeper look at this story, in fact, of course, egor and i had some kind of internal invisible conflict for several years, somewhere it was even external, but since over these few years i actually delved a lot into what we experienced, i know that

ideally, of course, people should disagree on good things, and since we have not come to some kind of harmony on this issue, that is, as if naturally. it was clear that it would be great, well, to discuss and work on some things, and i began to directly work on myself, and to raise myself - and you suggested doing fit, well, it turned out that he sent a screenshot, and i kind of thought that this was already a proposal, and i kind of agreed, like i wrote why not, that’s it, and then we already wrote to each other and agreed to meet, we we're talking about the song mister and mrs. mies, yes. it turned out very cool, in fact, i think we were both super fired up by the story that no one had ever done this before, that this was a unique topic, even when we realized that we could make this video, where we kind of went to one of the like here you are met, then it was as if you had become exes, and then once on the same set

there was no such type, well, it was, it was strange, but it was strange not yet on the set, it was strange back in the studio, when we actually saw each other there, we haven’t seen each other for so long, but yes, really. we hadn’t seen each other for several years, then we saw each other, at some point i even directly asked everyone to leave, we were left alone, i said, so come on, in short, what are you, what kind of grievances do you have against me, yes, like, you, what do you think, come on, tell me everything, in short, now we have 10 minutes there, come on, so he began to tell me, in short, how he, how he sees, what i was wrong about, in short, what happened, because before that i had various excerpts, interviews and so on, and how do i understand that he... had his own processes, i sort of had my own and i wanted to clarify, and so that there would be no , well, insults, understatements, and so on between us, and my husband would not be jealous at this point in your life, of course, at first yes, but then we also had several very deep conversations on this topic, and when i explained, well, the main message