i don’t remember much, that is, some things are under my, well, my consciousness, it either replaced it or simply erased it, when they ask me to talk about something, i either don’t really remember, or it seems to me that something it happened, but i don’t even believe it, it seems to me that it didn’t happen, that is, i can’t remember anything like that from childhood, there before the age of three, well, that is, in general, well, before three, few people remember you, let’s do it, yes , because they say that this is some kind of childish...

auto-aggression, and if we are talking about a diagnosis and even smoking, which you are talking about, yes, if we are talking about auto-aggressive behavior, and such destructive, destructive behavior, it, in general, to a large extent gives reason to believe that this is precisely the same aggression that you cannot express directly to your mother, and if you if you can’t kill the mother who is outside, thank god, then you kill the mother inside yourself. and this mother as a woman, and this

mother as a person, that is, this is my offense against her, well, listen, there are no children who would not have reasons not to be offended, yes, or rather to be offended by your mother, we all have reasons to be offended by our mother, but i would look now not at the cause, but at your consequence, that this whole story of yours is about how much you want to destroy yourself, not die, but destroy in the sense of diminish.

female organ such as the uterus for development, to make it incapacitated, and the uterus is nothing more than a part of the mother inside you, this is unlikely to help right now, which is deep, deep, well, there is no point, it seems to me, to say here on the surface, in this sense, like to say, we now have no hope that we will talk now, everything will change, yes, but all that i can give you now, for example, or tatyana and i can give, is, in general, some kind of food that... haven’t tried the food yet, good disclaimer, so here’s food for your mind, because otherwise your mind begins to feed on you, and if you start just looking at it, because the reason for being offended by your mother can be any number of things, in the end , let’s talk honestly, now we are just moving on to the provocative method, your mother did not give you to your grandmother for a while, she simply gave you to your grandmother, no time was determined there and it was not maintained, she simply gave you away and... with all due respect, there is a fan of your mother,

because she gave birth to you, if we look at it from this point of view, then we can see that it was really, well, difficult for her, the word is difficult, this is called for a child who has no time for you, she had no time for you, she had to cope with the fact that what she was worried about, including the death of her husband, and so on, and she really had to somehow get out of this, and you have brothers or sisters, no relatives, uh-huh, yes, as if... it says that mom could have different motives, but you read them as mom didn’t care about me , the child could not perceive it differently, of course she wanted to be with her mother, of course, naturally, no matter how much you loved your grandmother, the desire to be with your mother was endless, and of course, every friday they expected that the very mother who would want to be would come with me, and another came, the one who constantly made a remark came, because of this, conflicts arose again again,

there was no contact, and as if then i needed to draw attention to myself, at least in some way, at least to some manifestations, that is, i chose refusing to eat as a way to attract attention to myself. no, go deeper, you choose not to eat as a way not to be a mother, not to please her, to cause constant anxiety in her, to kill her inside yourself, because as soon as you get better, you become like her, that is, i didn’t want to either would like to be a mother, including so as not to repeat this the same thing, not that it won’t be repeated, but as soon as you become a mother, you cease to be a daughter, and you still... play that game, as if mom will come to her senses someday and you will finally become truly that one daughter, it is clear that now your mother has nothing to do with it, this is a woman who should not come to bully that everything is because of you, when psychologists say that all the problems are because of the mother or there are all the problems in childhood, they do not these mothers mean, they

mean the mother who functioned in childhood, and even the way our the psyche was defending itself from various kinds of manifestations of parents, that mother that we saw, because a real person... our projections on him can be completely different things, most often very different things, so now it’s as if, investing in this story with anorexia, it’s about the fact that you would like to return that mother and get what you didn’t get back then in childhood, get that attention, that warmth, that care, that intimacy that was not there, you watch the triggers podcast with you. .. presenter tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan, nicole is our guest, and we are talking about anorexia, our colleagues are watching us now, i know that many colleagues are watching us, they then write to me, so for the colleagues who are watching now and for you, as for a future colleague, i can

say that in long-term psychotherapeutic work , a psychoanalytic, psychodynamic approach, i would consider another version, you try to be very compact, so that your mother takes everything from you, so as not to take up a lot of space, but you understand, this game is played that girl, not an adult woman, only when you become disidentified with the motives, desires of that girl who was afraid that she would be admitted to the clinic, she was admitted to the clinic, that her classmates would laugh at her, that her mother would not accept me like this, yes all these, well, in essence, you need to disidentify with her.

you know your body, and this is an invaluable gift, and if you start with this, if in the end in your training you go a little deeper into a body-oriented approach, for example, then you just have a huge treasure trove of knowledge about how your body works, which most people don’t have, and if you start just listening to it, nothing more, learn to just listen to your body, not explore. his experiments on him, listen to him, then it will be a beautiful melody, it’s very cool your training in psychotherapy, in fact, psychology, psychotherapy, the plus is that you can take it not as knowledge, not as

just science, not as theory , yes, but take it and work with it right away, make it an applied mechanism and then you... can help yourself to a huge number of people? yes thank you. well, right now, right at this moment , it seems to me that the most important thing is to just split with this girl, you are so united with her that you tell her story, living her life, and you are already different, and somehow enjoy your own body, loving it is the most important thing, that’s for sure, yes. i think that our conversation today, i don’t know how useful it will be to you, but it will definitely be useful to a very large number of people who are watching us, thank you god, after all, anorexia is not as widespread a diagnosis as it could be , but this is very interesting, if you

are a little closer to your own emotions, and , for example, to the same hatred, because hating your mother is not the same as not loving her, this is a separate feeling. from the love that you experience, but you have it, and if you learn to live it, let’s say, autonomously from your relationship with your mother, truly live it, explore it. with this emotion that arises in you, well, it’s just important to get acquainted,

then you will stop destroying yourself so effectively, that's what i wanted to say, i contributed to the master's thesis, it seems i hope, i hope, i wish you success, thank you for talking to us about this today, thank you, what are you leaving with, there is something -what can you take? from ours, from our communication, and of course, it was very useful for me to discuss my problems with you, and i will think about how i can further develop the topic of a body-oriented approach, about the fact that i know my body very well, this is straightforward to the point, an organism, not just a body, an organism, yes, i even know how to tune. something you are very purposeful, i repeat, however, only a very strong purposeful person can

fully regulate like this. yes, about living emotions, no matter what they are, yes, not only positive, loving ones, but also that is, learning to work, accept and live precisely some painful, unpleasant sensations. between listening to the body and ordering it, you know how to control it, give it the steering wheel,

well, that is, learn to convey to it, such you know, like a metaphor, like a ship with sails, but without a rudder, or with a rudder, but without a sail, it will either go nowhere, or go the devil knows where, yes, and your task is to be this captain who controls both the sail and the ship itself through the rudder, this balance will be for... polishing, yes, this balance will be perfect, and what will you do first, eat a croissant, a great idea, first of all, i would hug my mother, hug, and say that no matter how uncomfortable you are with each other, you anyway, mother and daughter, this is the most important thing, well, it was the triggers podcast, and we were with you, its hosts, psychologist tatyana

krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. nicole was our guest, in my opinion, it was a very deep conversation for the night. you can watch all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. i weighed 96, people liked me, now i'm 75, now i'm active. i’m trying to get in physical shape up to 84, but i’ve lost weight to 73, and the gym is just a way out, but to at least somehow stay, well, how can it be say, alive? yes, what about your wife? she has a strong addiction to alcohol. since you got married so early at the age of 19, it means it was great love and passion, was it great love, or was it just a mistake? no, we are planning to have children, i really loved her, but did they try to save her, treat her? yes, of course, yes. i suggested it to her and after the divorce i also say, let me take you to the clinic, let’s code it, but she said that i don’t have

a problem with alcohol, i’m just sick, i just have a cold, and then she in general, such a moral way of life began, men appeared disorderly, and alcohol, it’s just that we already lived together with our daughter, and our son was still with her, and why is that, why did they divide, but no one shared, it’s just that the daughter immediately decided to live with me, in response to my arguments that mom... you won’t solve the problem with alcohol, she answered me, well , to put it normally, that she didn’t care, but my son said, no, i’ll still be with my mom, he held on until the last, he was very small, but spent. year in very terrible conditions, in the summer he came to me, he had weight 115 kg braids to the side of the eye, well , because the potato and pasta life is what she has, he said that she did not prepare any food for home, the house was only sweet, that is, that they bought gingerbread cookies in the store, did not wash, he can’t change clothes there, oh, trouble , trouble, trouble, trouble, oh, trouble, the day before yesterday

i literally saw a doctor, he was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder . why didn’t you take him right away, guys? at first he refused, and then he became withdrawn, and then, when i took him for the summer a year later, i worked with him every day training, i performed three operations on him to correct strabismus, i put him on a diet, we worked out, this guy is confident in himself, he became smaller to me after a year, but you are not looking for an assistant in your family for your son, you need a woman for yourself , so here we’ll try two in one, my name is tanya, i’m a witch, and i’ll brighten up your life with mine. what does it mean? i am a witch, yes, indeed, i am a torologist, i help children through energy practices. our tatyana has a lot of demands on a man. let a man earn enough to hire a cleaner cooks are you living with a housekeeper now? no,

i don’t live with a housekeeper, but i can afford to bring a housekeeper who will clean the house once a week, or order food for the children. listen, you have two small children, 10 and 7, they eat something from you, of course, mikhail believes that his wife cast a spell on him, curse him, you can see it, yes, she did just today, i think , that i brought it up, well, come on, maybe something else will amuse me, a surprise, even if yes, okay, my surprise is precisely that please remove the damage from you, mikhail! i’m very interested to see this moment when she will take it out of sight, as it happens in the country, ayuli, hello, and we’re coming to you, hello, why did you come, they say damage to a man is the only one,

help us, i’ll help, of course , i’ll help 100%, well... i have such a karma to help, well , just guys, let’s act like adults, i need your passports to report to the tax authorities, because everything is legal with me, everything is according to the law, here’s your passports , everything is, everything with you, yeah, yeah, okay, so brides, just in case, move away, i need to take a look, that’s what is done here... by a person, so young man, breathe, don’t breathe , close your eyes, open, close, open, blink, don’t blink, well, from the eyes, it’s true, or something, so

now what to do, well, brew a potion, i have a cool association from childhood. you know, how nostalgic i am about this granny, well , you know, it’s like some kind of babaiga, yes and no, i have a kindergarten, a mouse, i need a live mouse, go, there, it’s in my closet there scratches, bring, bring the mouse, i wanted to boil the cheeks, the infection devoured all the crust, how are you, oh, oh, father! and what have you townsfolk done, strangled a mouse, but how am i going to make a potion for you, and the mouse must be alive, oh, so it was like that, what should i do with it now, maybe a massage in let's make a heart for her, come on, come on, help, let's revive the mouse, live, it will help, look

at her, what a massage in the heart, just a splash with living water, help, first, tear out the hair from the groom's chest, it'll do such, stop talking a lot, groom, go up to the bride, take off her shoe, stop, just be gentle, otherwise the brew won’t work. throw it, well, now you need moths, here too, come on, sit on his neck or something. yes, pick the moths, don’t pick the moths, let’s go from the front like this, wait, into the cauldron.