skating, and the girls skate really well, both juniors and adults, but now the general direction in our international federation, it’s called isu, international skating union, and not only on the technical side of the programs, but the rules, amendments to the rules, and the attitude of the judges towards skating to programs has changed a little. now it is very important that there is a balance between ultrasi elements and steps, rotations, step sequences, this is all that for our spectators, this is all that is between the jumps, and very great importance is given to this, for which reasons, this is the second question, probably, this will also be interesting for our viewers, it’s just that in the world... well, there are almost no girls

who can perform quadruple jumps, there are only two or three people who jump triple axel, we have such girls and there are a sufficient number of older young people, and the international federation pushes down a little those who do ultra-level elements and brings up a little those who just skate great, take steps... do spins, but at the same time they do interesting programs that are important for the viewer, respectively. , thus, the international federation, as it were , evens out the chances, but today we live according to the rules of the international federation, accordingly, we cannot help but pay attention to this, and we strongly recommend our coaches who work with both girls and boys. .. in pairs with dancing,

look very carefully at these new trends that exist in figure skating. honestly, one cannot think that this is bad, what the international federation generates regarding the rules, what it pays attention to, because there is nothing wrong with the fact that petrosyan, our national champion, will jump 1, 2, 3, and will also create a brilliant program with magnificent steps, rotations, well, what’s wrong with that, it will be an invincible program, and i’m trying to convey this to our coaches , athletes, we must pay great attention to this second part of the program, these are steps, rotation, tracks, so that it is balanced, that is, not only the ultras elements in your program, but the rest of the harness and... then with it’s impossible

to compete with you, but if we talk about how our girls could look at the world championships, they can fight for any medals and, above all, for gold ones, probably in this situation it also makes sense to say that it is not they who will fight for gold medals, but the japanese, belgian, american they are trying to fight with our girls, the leaders, in order to take a place in the top three, it will be absolutely objective to say so, voice, finale, live broadcast on saturday, on the first, three chords, new season, on sunday on the first, but then , who... just for us

i joined, let me remind you that our guest is olympic champion anton sikharulidze. at the same time, there is one more point: this is raising the age limit, that is, now from the age of 17 you can only take part in adult competitions according to the rules of the international figure skating federation, but in our country there are not many such athletes participating in competitions, that is, in our country more and more young and will these young people of ours have enough of this fuse, quadruples under 17 years old, well, as i already said, the first thing i would pay attention to is that we now live according to the rules international federation isu, accordingly, our age limit is exactly the same if athletes go to international competitions at 17 years old, so we must adapt to the rules that.

exists, i am sure that if our girls at the age of 16 jumped into a quadruple jump or several quadruple jumps, and they, together with their coaches... will be able to bring these jumps to the age of seventeen or eighteen, it’s just that once upon a time this question was not stood, now he stood upright, and we we just have to learn how to keep these multi-turn jumps longer than before, but it seems to me that this is a real feasible task, i don’t see any kind of disaster in this. exactly, but also, you know, we have so many girls who jump several quadruple jumps that even if by the age of 17 or 18 one of them remains, it will be enough to win the olympic games. if we want to compete at international competitions, then we must

adapt to this system, be different can not. do we want to compete at international competitions? i think it’s interesting to compete at international competitions, first of all, it’s important for us that our... foreign athletes can compete with our guys, so that they can see how they really skate, well, it’s very important for our guys, because it’s fascinating when there’s a lot countries, there are many participants, they perform, this is such a celebration of sports, any big international competition is a celebration of sports, it is always interesting to watch this, i am sure that the understanding of that... that sport should not be a participant in all those political disagreements that exist, it will come, it will come in any case, it’s a pity that time is being wasted, because even in such difficult periods for the whole world,

it would be great to see how athletes fight on the ice, how they can then hug, how they can stand together on the pedestal, how friendship, sports... you know, there are no deep, heartfelt relations with the isu now, but there is still a dialogue, not so long ago the president of the international federation himself and director general of the federation, they turned to us and wanted to talk, but

we talked about how we see figure skating, they were very interested in how we see it. on one or another problem in figure skating, how to attract more spectators, the judging system, that is , we discussed a lot of things, but we don’t have such a deep, integrated participation in the international federation now, however, again, there will be a congress this summer , a conference of the international federation and we were invited to participate in it, this is also a good sign, it is important for us, so that...

or i am personally ready to internally support this athlete when changing sports citizenship, this is quite understandable and objective, especially. if this athlete was not a member of the national team, was not the leader of the team, colossal amounts of money, energy, and so on were not invested in him, then why not, all sorts of cases happen, but when athletes apply for something even without any passport, simply creating conditions in order to participate in some kind of international competitions, it seems to me that a little wild and... i talked about my position that at that very executive committee i will

vote against, me personally, and how the executive committee votes, we’ll see, if we talk about the number of requests, there are some, but it’s not some colossal number, i am very glad that our leaders today no one ever thinks about this with us. they said, these are mainly requests from very average level athletes who, for some reason, believe that since the russians are not performing now and he, having moved to some other federation of another country, now he will become a world leader, i think that firstly, they are very mistaken, and secondly , the position itself is not close to me, well , probably the loudest story of recent years:

what else should be done in order to protect athletes from the desire or from some kind of accidents, that is, i can’t even imagine, that’s what else it should be, that’s why i think, here, of course, it’s very important to be attentive, first of all, to any accidents in the coaching staff when it happens. preparation for the largest tournaments, the athletes themselves, means understanding that

now on the list of prohibited drugs, well , there’s nothing there, you can go to the pharmacy, buy just a pill for headaches and some substance inside, it will definitely be on the vada list, that is, you need to be very pragmatic in this regard and always a doctor of the federation , he conducts explanatory work, they meet, he is on the phone 24x7, if any doctor or anyone has offered you medicine, you have a cold there, he sits and waits for you to call, and he will see if it’s possible to take it medicine or not, that is, i don’t know what else can be done to protect everyone from any such cases, i can’t say, but i was talking about

announcing the official title, let’s wait a little, now we will fight for

the truth , we submitted these documents, we hope that the truth will prevail, then we will not have to return to this issue with you, we continue our conversation about figure skating with the head of the russian figure skating federation, olympic champion anton sikharulidze. i can't help but talk about parents in figure skating, about their role, because our sport is young, not because it has recently appeared, but because we have very young athletes, and many parents are no longer just managers.

there was no interest from parents in figure skating for their children, in this regard, i would really like to appeal to parents, and you know, especially in the first, early stages, when a child is involved in any sport, including figure skating, i would very much like to i would like to advise that their parents give them more happiness, joy, and simply pleasure. from the fact that they skated to music, jumped a flip jump, a single jump, fell, stood up, so that - these guys from competitions, from children, have only joyful memories and emotions, sometimes parents go a little overboard, creating such a serious atmosphere there from the age of 6 or from the age of five or from the age of seven,

everything is there, who he will become, who he will be, every competition is so... important, it seems to me that you need to treat this a little more as a good, proper hobby in childhood, and then with time already life, opportunities will show whether this athlete can continue, and whether he should even be so actively involved in any sport in order to talk about the professional career of an athlete, whether he is a figure skater, a football player or a skier, it doesn’t matter, they don’t... don’t go anywhere they’ll be late, don’t worry, if this child goes well, you’ll definitely see it, or the coach will see it, there’s no need to twist him into a mutton rock, try to survive as best as he can, this must be a professional athlete, this is it piece of childhood, piece joy, i would approach it this way and

it seems to me that this is the way, this is the right way, and i also sometimes saw at... children's competitions how jealously or even sadly parents treat it when their baby is not there, for example. takes the place that they would, for example, hope to occupy, how it all happens, well, don’t do this, it’s joy, that is, i would treat it more as such an adventure, especially at a very early age, but these young athletes , do they start earning money quite early? money becomes famous and it’s so wide, it’s still stressful for a child, or is it better to go through the so-called fire, water and copper pipes at this age, probably the one you just talked about is already such a very talented athlete, if he he has

some kind of contracts, fame, and so on, which means he is a talented athlete in some sport, for example, in figure skating. but then, probably, he will be able to master this path, this fame, these mm, sufficient earnings for a young man or girl, everything that this is connected, the main thing here is that it is not artificially cobbled together, and if he got there, i think that he will be able to overcome all those delights and hardships of this uh, uh.

people and companies want these athletes to be the face of the company and are willing to pay for it, but i don’t see anything wrong with this, it seems to me that this is normal, moreover, as a person who is helping now in the federation, i really want everyone to they were well-fed, dressed, so that everyone lived well, enjoyed life, trained well and they performed, but... but they had the life they deserve, so i am very calm and thoughtful about what our guys can become. faces of different companies, earn money, constantly be on television, on the internet, they write about them, talk about them, and well, this is fame, let them

stay in it a little, it feels like when you read news about figure skating, it’s always some squabbles, gossip between coaching staffs, athletes, judges, the federation, some kind of eternal scandal, is this really the case in russian figure skating or? just a desire to make a sensation out of nothing, well, i, like all our viewers, learn about most of any scandals from the press or from the media, so i don’t know completely, but this is also part of the game, another thing is that i i would advise some of our coaches and athletes to just play this game a little more intelligently, it would probably be more correct, it would even be more powerful on their part, and the fact that a lot of things are happening around figure skating, the audience is interested in this, someone -that

writes, there’s a lot of backlash, probably this means that we are all together, athletes, coaches, federations, television, we are all doing a great, right thing, which means that people are interested in our... viewers, citizens of the country these characters are why they talk so much about them. i repeat, i don’t see anything wrong with this, just be a little more intelligent, a little less aggression and it will be just right. what then can you advise the russian media? are you happy with the way they illuminate the figured cathars, it’s better not to advise me on anything, because then they can hop and grind me. and you know, we have one powerful partner, the first channel, with which we show all tournaments, both on television and on the internet, we hold tournaments in general

named after the first channel, such as the first channel cup, the jumping championship, the jumping championship, in essence , this is already such a part of figure skating, very large, significant, i hope integral, and we... are doing one common thing, as i see it, we are looking in the same direction, yes, there are disputes, there are dialogues, but the task and love for this sport, she us unites, we are really passionate about this, we want it to look great, so that everything is always in the fight, competent, so that all the guys, as i said, are fed... points, so that they train great and perform great, and i think , we are succeeding, i hope that next year we will further develop this cooperation, well

, to all the media, well, how can i give advice, write more about figure skating, talk more about it, then more people will recognize this sport, see really that one the zest that it has. get to know the guys, they are wonderful, athletes, magnificent, hard workers, cool guys, and i think in general this will play very positively on the whole world of figure skating, it was just the most informative conversation, such a cool quote and the point of our interview, thank you very much for being came, very clear and accessible, as it seems to me, he explained everything, i would like to wish health and a good off-season to all our... shifts, now, probably, we’ll see you at the test skates, once again thank you for finding time in your paid schedule and coming to our studio, thank you very much, maxim, it was very pleasant

to talk, it was a free program podcast, our guest was the olympic champion, the head of the russian figure skating federation, anton sikharulidze . hello, dear viewers, you are watching the triggers podcast, with you is its host, psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist and psychotherapist sergei nasibyan, our guest today is artyom, hello, artyom, hello, what did you come to us with? i came with such a request, as a question, even, i would say, how not to feel like a black sheep in a team, this is especially disturbing. for me, in work moments, in work groups, it all started in school, when somehow all of our boys grouped separately, were friends, and

somehow i was not with everyone. i was more interested in communicating with someone of the older generation, older, with smart people, i was drawn to them, problems began, i began to worry about this issue when i already started working, worked in teams, worked as an administrator, no matter what team i join, i feel that i somehow stand out from others, and on the negative side, as you understand, i don’t know the reason for this, but i see how everyone in the team communicates with me and i see how they communicate with each other. and these are radically different things, what’s the difference, how does it manifest itself? well , for me, when i come to work, i always want to have friendly relations with everyone, friendly, warm, but here it turns out that everyone is friends with each other, walks around at events, such non-fraternity is easy, but with me, if i can somehow make a joke there, they can somehow answer me harshly, although i am sure that if someone said the same joke or did the same action from another,

well, from some other. perceived in a group, how would they describe you, if they had to talk about you, how would they describe you? difficult question, it’s difficult to get into the heads of those people, others, well, let me, because even, even when i feel some kind of sideways glance at me, so to speak, i understand that it’s wrong to find fault there’s no point, because i’m as polite as possible, i communicate as correctly as possible, i lead a healthy lifestyle, i don’t drink, i don’t smoke, i don’t

swear, and i kind of try to... in my work it’s only the case of the country that shows itself ideally ideally but unfortunately that’s all on the general wave, somehow i’m always pushed aside, so to speak, but you still try to answer the question that tatyana asked you, just don’t get into those people’s heads, but try to see it in your head, how you fantasize it how they think about you and what they do they talk about you when you are not there? it seems that the answer has already come, but for some reason in my head only the word neutral came, neutral, yes, neutral, as if you weren’t there, if they didn’t care about you, you call it neutral or neutral like what ? neutral - this means, well, yes, there is still, no, a person in the team, that is, they hardly talk about you, well, that is, if you are not there, then no one talks about you, well, i think yes, maybe i am someone i’m annoying in the team, but no one ever came up to me or said

the reason, i again say, is when... i do everything in my opinion ideally, everything is clear, as it should, roughly speaking, well, as an axiom , smoking is bad, and also at work, roughly speaking, being late for work not good, also i come on time, and i never understood the reason for this irritation, how can i annoy someone, because you are unlikely to irritate by being on time, you probably, well, i’m talking about something else , but i also don’t understand the same thing, could they say that this is irritation or such a distance?

and i try to be such an employee, yeah, in my parents’ family, when did you feel like a black sheep, at what age, yeah, in your family, and i raised myself without my dad, i had a wonderful relationship with him, but he left the family very early, and i never lived with him, he moved to moscow, i myself was born in ulyanovsk, for the first 6 years i lived with my mother, grandmother, then a roommate appeared, gradually, gradually, gradually my mother began to move away very much from me, but turned all her attention to her new. wife, although they are not married yet, but they are not the essence, and i got a sister, it turns out, according to my mother, half-step, half-step, yes, and gradually all the attention switched from my mother to my sister to that person, but her roommate, yeah, and despite all the conflicts, all the moments when this person humiliated me, insulted me, tried to hurt me somehow, when i was 12, 13, 14 years old,

although again i... in which i didn’t i think that i’m somehow to blame, my mother always took the side of the new guy, sorry, and my grandmother didn’t really care about me either supported, either in extreme cases , neutrality, or well, artyom, what are you scratching there, let’s listen to your mother, there was such a story, and what were the complaints against you in the family, it was trivial that you could have had a fight with your mother’s resident over the tv remote control, then what let’s say i came, there’s no one in the hall, i took the remote control, turned on my favorite program, i’m watching a tv channel, that means i’m watching... it turns out that it’s taking away from me, like that’s it, go, i’ll watch now, i’ve developed a sense of justice since childhood , i always need everything to be, well, i’m for honesty, i’m for honesty, i am for openness, for justice, in general in everything, i immediately come up, i say, why did the remote control grab me like that, snatch it away so sharply, i

snatched it from him, turned on mine, i was the first to come, you could have negotiated with me, come over say, to those, listen, well, so and so, can i look there, but no, it was so rude because of the charger on the phone they cursed from the socket, that is, well, it came to this... it came to this, well, imagine, i have a teenager there , who is 13 years old, small, thin, and a guy with a forty-year-old forehead, so he could under there give the butt plate a kick, i also complained to my mother, everything was useless, the side was always purely on him, the question is, what did you feel at that moment when you realized that you were so thrown out of the family system, as if, well, it’s as if your mom isn’t standing up for you, your dad doesn’t communicate with you because he left, left you, but... at this moment the key confrontation is between you and your mom’s new husband, roommate, whatever, how did you feel then ? resentment, betrayal and misunderstanding, i still see from my mother’s side, apparently, i still don’t understand how

it’s possible, well, just leave, then leave me with my grandmother, i was not yet 18 years old, she just left, with him, yes, well, just how to build a separate unit, like a family , with this daughter with him, resentment, betrayal. and misunderstanding, of course, and how you dealt with them, what you did, in fact, in adolescence you didn’t do anything, you just somehow fought on your own, so let’s say, well , that’s how, what, how you fought this resentment, defended to the last your point of view, and what to defend, everyone left, how did they leave you, what is there to defend, but no, why then, in any case, you, you are expelled from this system, somehow, it doesn’t matter, they took away the remote control, there’s a plate, they just gathered we left, dad... i answer, at that time i was looking for support among friends, among acquaintances, shared with those people who understood me, supported me, gave some parting words, advice, after, when i was

19, 20, 21 years old there , already went to psychologists for psychotherapy, and there we already worked on these moments, let’s go back to all this, artyom, how you coped when you were left alone with this, alone you suffered in no way. well, how did you suffer? well, tell me how you suffered? what were you doing? did you hit your head against the wall or did you cry? no, i didn’t cry, absolutely, i didn’t hit my head against the wall, tell me about the torment, it’s important, there was just a misunderstanding, i was just lying on the phone on the bed at home, in my native ulyanovsk i was sitting writing a message to my friends that so and so - the situation has always happened there was a misunderstanding why this was so, why the person chose not me, this is still a question, i’m 23 years old and up... let’s focus our attention on this question now, that’s why she, they, mom, dad , after all, they don’t choose me, as in the team at work, they also started, i don’t

need to join the team, what’s wrong with you, why don’t they choose you, which one they answered themselves, it’s all right, tatyana, i think it’s you here now it’s like this, i think the problem is with mom, because for my part, as i say... i don’t see any problems, well, look, it turns out that you are so cool, but everyone else is doing the same to you, then there is something wrong with the whole world, is it worth dealing with this now, there is such an expression as kindness for weakness, including here , so tell me , i’m too kind, so tell me, no, sometimes it’s difficult for me to refuse, i admit it, i’m very kind, i’m always ready to help, even to ordinary acquaintances, not to mention some friends, this is really so, but what do you feel any interest now when we talk? interest and willingness to solve problems, willingness to talk honestly with you on all topics, to answer sincerely why don’t you answer my questions? which one and which one, you haven’t answered, until i stop you, i’m asking you one question, you don’t answer another, let’s

go a little slower, you speak very quickly, look, it’s still very simple, i’m asking you how you lived it, you start telling me what you did, i ask how you felt, you tell me how you wrote text messages, now i say, well there asked what’s wrong with you, you say, everything is the same with me, it’s my mother’s fault, so you can continue to live like this, 23 years old, i’m telling you, there with this world, i’m saying, what’s wrong with you, the question is very simple, only after making a few circles there, you... on his aitzimus, so what’s wrong with you, artyom,

that people don’t want to communicate with you, in my childhood i couldn’t cope, i couldn’t explain to myself why they , why is this, why am i not chosen, i felt unnecessary, and i was in pain, i was sad, i was very lonely, and i i stayed in my room, turned to the wall and didn’t understand what was wrong, why didn’t my mom or dad choose me? i'm unnecessary, and how did you feel? i felt pain, i felt loneliness, what do you think, artyom, is this an answer? similar to the truth, we are changing, you will add something, some feelings, in principle, everything has been said. pain, resentment, loneliness, betrayal, so it was,

fashionable verdict, new season, i am with you, lilia rakh, tomorrow on the first, you are irresistible, prima, all the beauties of the world, from my heart, i took the keys, hold, hold, my hand, hold what you want, say, mom said, you are strong, without him you are stronger, unrequited, you did not expect such a cold wind at night, we will remember our forbidden paradise, it was stormy for us, the best and know that if you leave, i will remain, let me not stop waiting for you. russians are coming!

golden gramophone people's award ceremony. premiere on april 29, on the first. you are watching the triggers podcast, with you its hosts, tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan. we are talking with artyom. you can find all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. you know, i’m like this, i’m not continuing this experiment, but i’ll just try to guess for you, when i ask you a question, what’s wrong with you artyom today, why don’t they communicate with you, i get the feeling that you’re like as if you never lived this experience, and as if you didn’t learn to live with it, what kind of experience, well, that now tatyana played out the pain for you, this is a betrayal, because it had to be integrated somehow, but you chose not to understand, and if you don’t integrate it, then you keep losing the same one all the time. the scenario, moreover, and i have an assumption, a fantasy

such that you were unable to avoid that period of development - personality, when you know, we children become as harmful as possible, well , we’re just mischievous, because it’s like we all go through this stage, at what age is this? it’s different for everyone, but i think it’s somewhere from 9 to 14 years old, this is exactly the age when i was generally the most obedient. i listened to my mother in everything, if it was there at 8:00 at home, i’m at home at 8:00 pm, and then some kind of breakdown happened when i was 15 years old, and i just already understand that there’s nothing like that i ’ll come at 8:30 at 9, and i’ve already started just ignore, let alone conflict, i never came into open conflict, she just told me something, i did it my way, and by the way, later, when i went to sessions with psychotherapists, they told me, which is very good, that it does this, correctly, it is unknown what you would be like now at 20 years old, so of course it ’s good, it’s good. look, this is exactly the one

the fact that you began to act like this, right at 14:15, says that you entered this youth, in general, well, declared such a puberty revolution, which everyone declares, but when i talk about harmfulness , you can bore any person even with your correctness, that’s the thing, you see, when i talk about harmfulness, i’m not saying that you behaved badly, yeah, i ’m saying that you can behave like that... ideally, that you'll bore anyone, yeah, you're talking about the work moment now, i i’m talking about you as a child, you want about a working moment, about whatever, i just suggest you look at it this way, yeah, because... for some reason you chose, for some reason you chose this strategy of behavior, so dad left at six, no, no, dad left, we didn’t grow up together at all, but i wasn’t even a year old there, so i say, we spent our entire lives while he was alive, he’s no longer alive now, unfortunately, we supported great relationship, we saw each other there once or twice a year, we called each other on the phone

, dad wasn’t there, but as you explained to yourself, why dad wasn’t with you, what kind of legend is there in your family, there was no legend, it was just that, well, people went their separate ways. people didn’t get married, well, my parents didn’t, they didn’t become a family, well, that’s it, he came to moscow, lived in moscow, well, we communicated perfectly, when he came to me in ulyanovsk, in his hometown, we saw each other, we were in amazing relationship, just wonderful, every meeting was like a holiday, i loved him very much and still love him , that is, you can leave the child, because this is an ordinary story, a normal situation, where mom and dad just didn’t... we talked to him in person once or twice a year and once a month on the phone, but it was so amazing that i remember it now with a smile than every week with my mom, it was just tyranny is terrible, better, rarely, but aptly, i think so, it’s good that you

think so, and you asked him to take you away from this house, where you feel so bad? no, why? well, first of all, i knew that he wouldn’t take it and that my mother wouldn’t give it back, that’s the first thing. when did you know this, i can’t understand something, you were already there at four they knew this, no, why at four there were no problems, i’m telling you, only - your roommate appeared, okay, at 6:00, you already sort of understood that your dad couldn’t help you, save you , and your mother can’t give you away, well, that is, as if adults understood all this at the age of six, well, it all gradually passed, we wouldn’t have had any such conflicts at the age of 6, yeah, i’m saying, it started more already when i was 12 when my sister was born, yeah. when your mother was pregnant, how did you feel? she to me i even said at the last moment, i honestly admit, mm, not all women, so to speak, have a stomach that is immediately visible, you can go for many months in such clothes that it won’t be noticeable, and since she basically didn’t trust me, she never did everything so that i wouldn’t trust her absolutely, then she

told me right almost before the birth, coming to my bedroom and showing me some pictures, she said that you’re going to have a little sister, i don’t even remember if she said the gender, but she did what i think will happen, but i reacted normally, honestly, that’s it i swear, i don’t remember what emotions there were, just as there weren’t any negative ones, there weren’t any positive ones, but what does that mean, you and your mom didn’t trust each other, which means your mom didn’t trust you, well, she didn’t tell you any information generally personal about herself, never, no, absolutely, but she did not consider it necessary to tell her son, she did not consider it necessary to be friends with her child, and also when i, and i always opened up, in the first 15-16 years there i was the opposite, what there would be no information, even if i know that tyoma is responsible for this they scold me, i still came and told him, i still think, but how is it always with the same rake over and over again, everything was always perceived as chic, i think, then god, why did i tell this, then i have such consequences were, everything that i told her

was always used later in all dialogues against me, but you still told it, well, i still told it until a certain period, for many years. and the person hasn’t made any attempts to actually do anything, that is, she doesn’t call, she doesn’t write to me, well, that is, if if i had such a situation, i would consider myself guilty before my son, i would move mountains there, i would come, but i would gain attention and favor. well, i’m such a purposeful guy that it wouldn’t be difficult for me to do this, well then in your childhood you tried in every way to establish contact with her, it didn’t work, absolutely, both with your obedience and your openness, and it didn’t work, no, you always know this story: i brought a deuce, she says,

it’s a pity that it’s not three, i came with a three, she says, it’s a pity that it’s not a four, my mother came, i have four, she says it’s a pity that i don’t have five, i came with fives in my diary, she says, well, it could have been even better, it’s still bad, i could have won the olympics there and so on, well, that’s actually true, well, i just gave an example , but it was, and now you said that if i were my mother, i would have acted differently, but try to answer me the question, in what circumstances and for what reason could you abandon your child, it’s generally very difficult for me to imagine how i don’t communicate with my child, if i have a son or daughter there, i’m the opposite i want to be the best friend possible so that they all say what a piece of meat? cool dad, super, but you still try to imagine these feelings that i refuse, well, i say, if a child somehow behaves as disgustingly as possible towards me, no conversation helps, nothing, i... if i would have found the means, i would have taken him to a psychologist, we would have gone together and worked, but if that didn’t help, then i don’t know what, look, nothing helped, yeah, and you make

a decision, if i it was very difficult with him communicate, then i’ll say this, if i was super uncomfortable, tense, try to connect now with this feeling that gives you a reason to abandon the child, you don’t even have to describe it to me, but just observe this feeling, so irritation, anger, good , fatigue. great, compile this into some sort of visible object that is inside, i don’t know, there’s some kind of lump in there, and now imagine this same lump in your mother’s chest, a piece of dirt, me first thing it came to mind, yeah, imagine this piece of dirt in your mother’s chest and based on this dirt, well, in fact, she refuses to choose from you. there’s a daughter, another man, that’s how you understand her? no,

because, mind you, i said that i would do something, i even listed it for you, i would take you to a psychologist, she didn’t, she abandoned you earlier, she abandoned you before this man appeared, she’s in in principle, most likely i didn’t really want your birth from what you’re telling me, i don’t know, honestly, i don’t know either, but if i didn’t want to, i probably wouldn’t have given birth, no. she gave birth, she gave birth, it’s not a fact that she wanted to, as my grandmother always tells me when i discuss with her about my mother, still hoping that on the phones with my grandmother we more or less call each other, we talk to my mother, mother, i mean, i ’m telling you that somehow the topic itself always comes into this story again, but i always hope to the last, well, that at least someday, well, at least you ’ll take a small step in my direction, grandma, you’ll understand, at least you’ll hear that there’s a second story country, there is not only the fact that my daughter and i are kind of for it, but that they are adults?

they came to chat, no, i want to figure it out, of course, then try to hear me, come on, i just told you, yes, before your rant about conversations with your grandmother began, i told you that your mother had every reason and desire to abandon you and not give birth to you, she really did it, we don’t know why, maybe she tried to keep your father in this way, maybe she was afraid to have an abortion, maybe she believed that it was a sin, perhaps she did something else, we don’t know, she abandoned you already then, she abandoned you even then, and now imagine that she doesn’t

justify it in any way, but can i interrupt the question , on the basis of which there is such a conclusion that she refused even then, because again, in childhood we did have quite warm relationships, good ones, let’s consider this as a hypothesis, because as soon as you understand this, you will be able to build relationships with others people, because as soon as you can inside yourself turn on... compassion for her, you will suddenly begin to feel other people, not think about other people, do not assume that you are better than these people, do not treat them, do not defend yourself from them with your arrogance, it is precisely you who will begin to feel them, too, perhaps you will be surprised when these people suddenly open up in your direction too, because the most important thing is that what you tell, then how you tell it, is your story. and your truth, as i said at the beginning.