tada, we know everything, so let’s not waste time, tell us where the card is, what other card, a sincere confession mitigates the guilt, tell the truth, you won’t be shot, we will find the card anyway, it will turn out that... how you were sitting together,

playing cards with your wife, he told you everything, the card is where the nail is, the nail, i said it was the other way around, and the nail is thick, it’s his nickname , and it wasn’t i who blackmailed him, but he blackmailed me. like his wife, he lost to you? no, it was i who lost, great, amelia, of course, didn’t confess, wouldn’t forgive, but when the war started, i thought that everything would be forgotten, but no, why did we come here to visit my niece, but to sit down, we decided to support camilla, an orphan, when i saw her, i didn’t recognize her, she’s independent, an adult, she let me into the apartment, rent it herself became, and then in the city i met this stubborn... and what did he

promise you for his wife? wanted me to set him up with the boy, but i decided that this wouldn’t happen, so i bought valyn, why? i wanted to kill him for years, about camille, what did you tell him? only that he himself knew that she everything works as a translator at the headquarters. camilla doesn’t tell me anything about work, and i don’t ask. they ran because of the gun, while gustav is alive, it’s impossible to go off topic, to lead the detainee, that’s all that i found on kramer, both about camilla and about her grandfather. i studied everything

thoroughly, nothing suspicious, except that my uncle was imprisoned for a fight, as if for a fight, he robbed a bank, no, here is the answer to my request, serious bodily injuries, we need to arrange a juicy bet for this kramer, let them look each other in the eye , then it will be immediately clear which of them is lying.

lacerated wound on the neck, comrade lieutenant colonel, i see, seridov, strengthen all posts and guards on the road, you will get orientation now from headquarters, david gustus, nickname nail, all informants, everyone. we must look for his lair,

otherwise he will evaporate. do they have baths there 24 hours a day? no, they are waiting for us, the military prosecutor's office, the prosecutor's office.

na, kaip vam, round like a pipe, tube, tube, tikriausiai, this is definitely his house, he indicated this address during interrogation, break it! i know where he is, anywhere, maybe he can lie in the bushes, it’s dangerous in the bushes, here in the apartment is just right, no one

will look for him there, but he thinks so, where he planted the card, he needs to check. and here is the gothic font. he forged the card.

if you hand it over yourself, we will save your life. fuck you all. general, excuse me, sorry for the early visit, we identified the one who forged the card and planted it in your adjutant’s apartment,

here all the letters are correct, the bandit worked hard on...

svetlana petrovna, well, you’re always at the wrong time, it’s okay, i’ll get there myself, it’s not far, okay, goodbye. same captain, you don’t need me now, do you? “ then i’ll be there soon, so what do you have there, grigory ivanovich, what’s wrong with the car, everything’s fine, the spark went somewhere, yeah, the main thing is that it comes back, and svetlana petrovna, the spark always comes back, the main thing is to want it, yeah, so, nothing.

hello, dear viewers, you are watching the triggers podcast, with you is its host, psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist and psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, our guest today is artyom, hello, artyom, hello, why are you coming to us? came? i came with such a request, as a question, even, i would say, how not to feel like a black sheep in a team, this especially bothers me in work situations. in work groups, it all started in school, when somehow all of our

boys grouped separately, were friends, but somehow i wasn’t with everyone, i was more interested in communicating with someone of the older generation, older, with people smart, i was drawn to them, problems began, i began to worry about this issue when i already started working, worked in teams, worked the administrator, no matter what team i join, feels that i somehow stand out among others. and from the negative side, how do you understand this? i don’t know the reason for this, but i see how everyone in the team communicates with me and i see how they communicate with each other, and these are completely different things, what’s the difference, how do you show it? well , for me, when i come to work, i always want to have friendly relations with everyone, friendly, warm, it turns out that everyone is friends with each other, walks around for events such fraternity is easy. but with me, if i can somehow joke there, they can somehow answer me sharply, although i am sure

that if someone said the same joke or did the same action from someone else, well, someone else, some other... then a person, then they would react absolutely normally, they would even laugh and support it, it’s surprising, some people sometimes quarrel like that in a team, quarrel among themselves, then just a click, they made peace, everything is fine, they work for years, if i have any... that minimal jamb, then all this is right on the verge of dismissal. yeah, how old are you now? 23, and you have close friends, with someone, someone with whom you have a close relationship, yes, of course, but these are a few, how you are perceived in the team, how they could describe you if they it was necessary to tell about you, how they would describe you, a difficult question, it’s difficult to get into the heads of those people, others, because even when i feel like... this is a sidelong glance, so to speak, i understand that there’s nothing to complain about why, because i

communicate as politely as possible, as correctly as possible, i lead a healthy lifestyle, i don’t drink, i don’t smoke, i don’t swear, and i kind of try to prove myself at work, only the case of the country is ideally ideal, but unfortunately everything is on the same wavelength as - i’m always pushed aside, so to speak, but you still try to answer the question that tatyana asked you, just don’t get into those people’s heads, try to look at it in your head, like...

well, what am i talking about something else, but i also don’t understand the same, but they could say that that this is irritation. or such, such distancing is caused precisely by your ideality, an attempt to be ideal, comfort , some questions, curses, don’t be late, because you are so comfortable, of course, yeah, i also always try on myself,

if i were a boss, how would i wanted to see my subordinate, and i try to be such an employee. yeah, in your parents’ family, when did you feel like a black sheep, at what age were you? yeah, in my family, and i raised myself without my dad, i had a wonderful relationship with him, but he left the family very early, and i never lived with him, he moved to moscow, i myself was born in ulyanovsk, for the first 6 years i lived with my mother, grandmother, then a roommate appeared, gradually, gradually, gradually my mother began to move away very much strongly from me, but turned all her attention to her new spouse, although not in marriage. still, well, that’s not the point, but i got a sister, it turns out, according to my mother, step-in-law, step-in-law, yes, and gradually all the attention switched from my mother’s side to my sister to that person, to her roommate, yeah, and despite all the conflicts, all the moments when this person humiliated me, insulted me, tried

to somehow offend me when i was 12, 13, 14 years old, although again i will repeat that i was despite this, all some minimal conflicts at home , for which i don’t think that i am in any way to blame, my mother always sided with the new guys, sorry, and my grandmother didn’t really support me either, either in extreme cases it’s neutrality, or well artyom, what are you scratching there, come on listen to your mother, there was such a story, but what were the complaints against you and your family, they could have been trivial have a fight. my mother’s roommate because of the tv remote control, the fact that i, let’s say, came, there is no one in the room, i took the remote control, turned on my favorite show, i’m watching a tv channel, so i’m watching, he comes, takes away from me, like that’s it, go, i’ll watch now, my sense of justice has been developed since childhood, i always need everything to be, well, i’m for honesty, i’m for honesty, i’m for openness, for justice, in general in everything, i immediately

come up and say, oh that it was he who took the remote control from me so abruptly, i snatched it from him, turned on mine, i came first?

at least leave me later with my grandmother, i was not yet 18 years old, she just left with him, yes, well, just how to build a separate unit, like a family, with this daughter with him, resentment, betrayal and misunderstanding, of course, and how do you dealt with them, what did you do, in fact, in adolescence you didn’t do anything, you just somehow fought on your own, so let’s say, well, that’s how, that how you fought with this resentment, defended your point of view to the last, and what to defend , everyone left, how... they left you, what should i leave there? no, why then, in any case , you are expelled from this system, somehow, it doesn’t matter, they took away the remote control, the plate, they just got ready to leave, dad left, you were left alone, you feel resentment, misunderstanding , and as i answer, at that time i was looking for support among friends, among acquaintances, shared with those people who understood me,

supported me, gave some parting words, advice, then, when i was 19, 20, 21 years old, i already went there to psychologists. question and let us now concentrate our attention, that’s why she, they, mom, dad , after all, choose not me, as in the

working collective, they also started, i don’t need to work in the collective, what’s wrong with you, why do they choose, not you, what is their answer that’s it, tatyana, i think you’re the one who’s so bad for your mom right now, because for my part, as i say, i don’t see any mistakes. “well , look, it turns out that you’re so cool, but everyone else is doing the same to you, then there’s something wrong with the whole world, is it worth understanding now this kind of expression of kindness for weakness, here, among other things, well so tell me, i’m too kind, so tell me, no, sometimes it’s hard to refuse me, i admit it, i’m very kind, i’m always ready to help, even to ordinary acquaintances, not to mention some friends, this is true so, what do you feel now when we talk, interest? interest and readiness to resolve issues, readiness to talk honestly with you on all topics, to answer sincerely why don’t you answer my questions, by what name, by no name, you haven’t answered, until i

stop you, i’m asking you one question, you tell me answer the other, let 's go a little slower, you speak very quickly, look, it's still very simple, i ask you how you lived it, you start telling me what you did, i ask how you felt, you tell me , as you wrote text messages, now i’m saying that, well , tatyana asked what’s wrong with you, you say: everything is the same with me, it’s my mother’s fault, so you can continue to live like this, 23 years old, i’m saying, there with this world, i say what is wrong with you, the question is very simple, only there after making a few circles, you say, maybe i’m too kind, they perceive this as weakness, and then i ’m speaking for you now, because you actually said some kind of incomprehensible phrase, let’s carry out experiments, let’s switch places, let’s me i'll be you now. will ask questions, and i will be from your state, i will try to answer them, for artyom, yes, okay, an unexpected experiment for me, for me too, well, this is probably his point,

so what’s wrong with you, art what people don't want communicate with you, in my childhood i could not cope, i could not explain to myself why not, why this, why i was not chosen, i felt unnecessary, and i was hurt, i was sad, i felt very... and i stayed in my room, turned to the wall and didn’t understand what was wrong, why my mom or dad didn’t choose me, i was unnecessary, and what did you feel, i felt pain, i felt loneliness, like you, artyom, so option, it looks like we are actually changing. will you add something, some feelings? basically everything is basic

they said pain, resentment, loneliness, betrayal, and so it was. you are watching the triggers podcast, its host, tatyana krasnovskaya, and sergey nasebyan are with you, we are talking with artyom, you can find all episodes of the triggers podcast on... on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru. you know, i’m like this, i’m not continuing this experiment, but i’ll just try to guess for you, when i ask you a question, what’s wrong with you artyom today, why don’t they communicate with you, i get the feeling that you’re like as if this experience had never been lived, and as if you learned to live with it, what kind of experience, well , that tatyana played out for you now, there is pain, this is betrayal, because it had to be integrated somehow, but you chose not to understand, and if you... lose it the same scenario, moreover, i have an assumption, you integrate your fantasy, then all the time you are like that, you couldn’t avoid that

period of personality development when you know, we children become as harmful as possible, well , we’re just being mischievous, because how if we all go through this stage, this is what age, it’s different for everyone, but i think it’s somewhere from nine to... 14 years old, this is exactly the age when i was generally the most obedient, i obeyed my mother in everything, if at 8: 00 at home, i’m at 8:00 pm, 8 at home, and then some kind of breakdown happened when i was 15 years old, and i just already understand that there’s nothing like that i’ll come at 8:30 at 9:00, and i’m already i just started to ignore, let alone conflict, i never came into open conflict, she just told me something, i did it my way, and by the way, later, when i went to sessions with psychotherapists, they told me that it’s very good that he does this, it’s right, it’s unknown what you would be like now. there at the age of 20, this is of course good, this is good, look, and this is precisely the fact that you began to - well, act like this, just at

14:15, says that... you entered into this youth in general, well, they declared such a puberty revolution, which everyone is announcing, but when i talk about harmfulness, you can bore any person even with your correctness, that’s the thing, you see, when i talk about harmfulness, i don’t i’m saying that you behaved badly, uh-huh, i ’m saying that you can behave so perfectly that you’ll bore anyone, uh-huh, you’re talking about a work situation, i ’m talking about you as a child, you want about a work moment, whatever. i just suggest you look at it this way, yeah, because for some reason you chose, for some reason you chose this strategy of behavior, so dad left at six, but no, no, no, dad left, we didn’t grow up together at all, but i wasn’t even a year old there, so i say, we spent our entire lives while he was alive, he is no longer alive, unfortunately, we maintained excellent relations, yes, we saw each other there once or twice a year, we called each other there once or twice, but there was no sign, but how did you explain to yourself why dad wasn’t with you,

what kind of legend is there in your family? there was no legend, it was just that, well, people separated, people didn’t get married, people, well, they didn’t become my parents, they didn’t become a family, well, that’s it, he moved to moscow, lived in moscow, well, we communicated perfectly when he came to me in ulyanovsk, in my hometown, we saw each other, we were in amazing relationships, just in wonderful, every meeting was like a holiday, i loved him very much and still love him , that is, you can leave the child, because this is an ordinary story, normal. a situation where mom and dad just didn’t get along, didn’t agree, and the child is not taken into account in this, you know, it’s better that we communicated with him live once or twice a year and once a month on the phone, but it was so amazing that i i remember this now with a smile than every week with my mother, it was just tyronic horror, it’s better, rarely, but aptly, i think so, it’s good that you think so, and you asked him to take you away from this house, where he was so bad, no, why, well, first of all

, i knew that... he wouldn’t take you and that mom wouldn’t give it up, this is the first time you knew that, i i can’t understand something, you already knew it there at four, no, why weren’t there any problems at four, i’m telling you, it’s just that a roommate appeared, okay, at six, you already sort of understood that your dad can’t help you save you, and your mom can’t give you away, well , that is, as if adults understood all this even back then at six, well, it’s all gradual passed, we wouldn’t have had any such conflicts at the age of 6, i say, it started more when i was 12 when i gave birth. sis, yeah, when mom was pregnant, how did you feel? she even told me at the last moment, i honestly admit, mm, not all women, so to speak, have a stomach that is immediately visible, you can go for many months in such clothes that it won’t be noticeable, and since she basically didn’t trust me never did everything so that i would not trust her absolutely, then she told me right almost before the birth, coming to my bedroom, showing me some

pictures, saying that you will have a little sister. i don’t even remember if she said the gender, but she said what i think will happen, well , i reacted normally, i honestly swear, i don’t remember what emotions there were, as there were no negative ones, there were no positive ones, somehow , what does it mean you and your mother didn’t trust each other, what does it mean your mother didn’t trust you, well , so much so that she didn’t tell any personal information about herself, never, no, absolutely, but she didn’t consider it necessary to tell her son, she didn’t thought necessary to be friends with your child. and also, when i, and i always opened up, that is , for the first 15-16 years there, i was the opposite, no matter what information there was, even if i knew that the topic would be criticized for it, i still came and told, i still think, and as always with the same rake over and over again, everything was always perceived with hostility, i think, then god, why did i tell this, then i had such consequences, everything that i told her was always used later in all dialogues are against me, but you are everything

equals. well, i still told you until a certain period, for many years, i say, it was advancing, advancing, advancing, then i think that’s enough, i stopped communicating with this person, for a year now we have not communicated absolutely on my initiative, with my mother, yes, oh, no, during this year i have never regretted it, honestly, and the person has not made any attempts, in fact, to do anything, well, that is, she doesn’t call, she doesn’t write to me, well, that is, if i had such a situation, i would consider myself guilty before my son, i would there is a city with... i would have come, but i would have achieved attention, location, and so on, but i am such a purposeful guy that it would not be difficult for me to do this, but then in your childhood you tried in every way to establish contact with her, this it didn’t work out, absolutely, both with my obedience and my openness, and it didn’t work, no, you always know this, such a story that i brought a two, she says it’s a pity that it’s not a three, i came with a three, she says it’s a pity that it’s not a four,

my mother came and said: it’s a pity that i’m not five, came with straight a’s in his diary, she said: well, he could have done even better, it’s still bad, he could have won the olympics there and so on, well, that’s actually true, well, he just gave an example, but it happened. and you just said that if i were my mother, i would have acted differently, try to answer me the question, in what circumstances and for what reason could you abandon your child? in general, it ’s very difficult for me to imagine how i don’t communicate with my child, if i have a son or daughter there, on the contrary, i want to be there as much as possible best friend, so that they all say what a great dad i have, super, but you still try to imagine these feelings that i refuse, well, i say, if the child somehow behaves as disgustingly as possible towards him. they don’t help me there, not a word of anything, i would have found some means, i would have taken him to a psychologist, we would have gone together, worked, but if that didn’t help, then i don’t know what, look, nothing helped, yeah, and you make a decision, if it was very

difficult for me to communicate with him, then i’ll say this if i would be super uncomfortable, tense , try to connect now with this feeling that gives you a reason to abandon your child, so you don’t even have to describe it to me, but just watch it. so irritation, anger, good, fatigue, great, compile this into some kind of - as if visible and such an object that is inside itself, i don’t know, there’s some kind of lump there, and now imagine this same lump in your mother's chest, a piece of dirt, the first thing that came to my mind was just imagine this piece of dirt in my chest your mother and on the basis of this dirt , and she... well, in fact, she refuses you, choosing a daughter, another man, that’s how you understand her, no, because, mind you, i said that i would do something, i even

listed it for you, i would take you to a psychologist, she abandoned you earlier, she abandoned you before the man appeared, she, in principle, most likely did not really want your birth from what you say, i don’t know. i don’t know either, but if i didn’t want to, i probably wouldn’t have given birth, no, i gave birth, i gave birth, it’s not a fact that i wanted to, like my grandmother did to me she says all the time when i discuss with her about my mother, still hoping on the phones, with my grandmother we call each other more or less like this, we talk with my mother, mother, i mean, i tell you that somehow the topic always comes up on its own. in this story, again, yes, i always hope to the last, that at least someday, well, at least you will take a small step in my direction, you will understand, at least you will hear that, well, there is a history of a second country, there is not only the fact that my daughter and i are kind of for her, but that, like, they are adults, we are adults, and you don’t understand anything at all, you behave like this, it doesn’t matter, even we called each other yesterday, again the quote: why are you pushing her, she gave birth to you, she didn’t give up on you, oops, i

say, well, wow, i say, it’s a favor, i say, i did it, i didn’t choose to forgive when i was born, look, it turns out that after all there were these thoughts, not to give birth and refuse, it ’s her idea, it’s just the grandmother speaking for her part the reason is that... “artyom, do you really want to figure this out or did you just come to chat? no, i want to figure it out, of course, then try to hear me, come on, i just told you, yes, before your rant about conversations with your grandmother began, i told you that your mother had every reason and desire to abandon you and not to give birth to you, she really did it, we don’t know why, maybe she was trying to keep your father in this way, maybe she was afraid to have an abortion, maybe she thought it was a sin, maybe something else..." she abandoned you even then , and now imagine that she does not justify this in any way, but can i interject a question, on the basis of which

such a conclusion was given that it was refused even then, because, again, in childhood we did have a fairly warm relationship, good, let’s consider this as a hypothesis, because that once you figure this out, you can build relationships with other people, because once you...