and what is this nausea, why is it so bad, what are you afraid of at this moment, that he will not return or that he will do something while he is walking, rather, that i have a feeling that , well, i didn’t want cry, but something, well , i feel so bad now that it’s like i ’m going to die, and he’s gone, well, okay, you’ll die, he’ll come, that’s it, you have to die in his presence and... you have to that either i should not die, i want not to die, not to die, okay, it somehow depends on whether he is nearby or not, whether you die or not, no, not at all on this, well, it doesn’t depend in any way, just some painful moments in life in general that happened, i lived alone, i didn’t die, so i sort of understand it, but what moments are you talking about, if we take in general the super early childhood there , for example, i was in intensive care twice, i had problems with my lungs and

they always took me away, my parents were not allowed there, of course, that is, i went there , say, in an ambulance, i came to the hospital alone, alone, and i was very good i remember, there was anesthesia afterwards, well, of course you don’t remember, you you also wake up alone, but you are very scared, well, this is for example, but how old were you, well, about three, so this is not for example, this is exactly the place that hurts, this feeling now is similar to what you experience when your husband goes away to that feeling when you woke up in intensive care. it seems, yes, well, that is, it’s not about him, the point is that this fear has not gone away, it’s just that, why are you calming yourself down, because calmness is easier, well, calmness may be easier, but it’s more difficult will live through what we are now trying to understand, disassemble, to survive, just the last very moment, well, emotionally similar to what happened there when i was... 3 years old, this is

exactly when there was the moment of the birth of my son, moreover, we were supposed to have a partner birth, then the husband should have been present, but he wasn’t in the city at that moment, that is , nothing depended on him, he’s still a dump, no, well, although he should have been, he’s just all like that, well, that is, everything that happened, it passed very quickly, that is... he was born very quickly, in general somehow super quickly, and the husband appeared when everything had already passed, in fact, he came to everything ready, the very moment was such that - just when they also lifted him into the ward, it turns out, there, well, the nurse just looked and, well, she also left, and already everything seemed to be some kind of process - irreversible things are going on and i ’m already here and i’m just at this moment very clearly... it’s just that you’re in the hospital and

you’re generally alone, and i really wanted to say that someone would be nearby, then this it was simple, it was very scary, of course, you joked that he was a bastard, but to me, i don’t think that he’s a bastard, but it’s very straightforward to me, too, of course, it’s not you who think that he’s a bastard, but that little girl thinks that he’s a bastard because he’s not around, because it’s like you can’t defend yourself , you have already grown up, you are an adult woman who, in general, can somehow control her life, but in order...

of course, you can have him now, but... it will still be some part of such analgesia for that pain, which you are experiencing, but what if you don’t analge it, what if you live it? here you go now you were scared too, you did n’t feel at ease before filming started, yes, well, it’s exactly the same fear as when you give birth or when you’re in intensive care, the fear is the same, and there’s no one around like you live from fear, i want to strangle it inside me? what will remain if you strangle him?

well, i hope that nothing will be somehow empty and calm, i’m afraid that there will be no peace in the emptiness, that’s the thing, because this fear, it always seems to tell you that you alive, he protects you in many ways, i didn’t think that fear could be a signal that i’m alive, such a thought, and most importantly, it’s recognizable, it’s like a signal that a reminder that you’ve had so many situations that could have ended, yes, badly, let’s call it that, but you went through them, you know how to deal with it, and this is fear again, that is, in essence, this fear that was born there in the hospital, in the intensive care unit, when you remained there ambulances, alone without parents, and if, of course, at 3 years old someone could teach you that you need to interact with this fear, and not with a dinosaur, then this fear tells you, it shows you the

fact that you are alive, it’s so simple, well, on the one hand, it’s simple, and you can’t, well, reject it, you certainly can’t you have to strangle him, it’s worth... staying in contact, well, you have children now, if god forbid the child has something with his health, you’re like a normal mother, so you’ll also give him to the ambulance there, he’ll be taken to the hospital and he will be alone, and at that moment what will you feel when he is there alone, that’s how you mom, how will you feel, i don’t know, it seems to me that my heart will break, okay, that is, your parents also had their hearts broken, well, i think so, from which we can assume that your husband’s heart breaks when he leaves to... it turns out that everything is fine, good or not, i guess, if this is so, then what then, i don’t know, but at least you have something in common that you can experience together, love, for example , well, because well

, you will still quarrel when your the husband leaves, he leaves because he cannot bear the pain that you cause him, or he does not want to cause you any severe pain, he leaves for... in order to breathe, but the moment he leaves , he feels exactly the same as you, the same fear, his heart also breaks, but instead of joining in this sympathy for his emotions, his experiences, at this moment, of course, we believe that the partner does not understand the bastard , that i feel bad here, well , of course, he feels good, he’s breathing, yes, at this moment your mind begins to come up with ideas for you have different kinds of explanations. for what reason should you be sure that you are right, and he is not, because there seems to be an idea that it is more difficult for me, that if there is a conflict in a couple, then it is more difficult for one of them, for the other, of course, it ’s great, he is breathing , everything is fine with him, well , yes, then they know exactly what they are talking about, at this

moment our very setting forces us to concentrate our attention on ourselves, this is such a higher form of egoism. well, because i am in more pain than everyone else at this moment, but this is not entirely true, because in that moment when we feel bad, others around us feel bad too, but to direct our attention to what others don’t think is bad, in fact it’s possible to think, i have this fear, i’m afraid of it there, that i’m going to die , and he’s not around, that i’m alone again and no one is protecting me, and he feels the same too... he experiences it himself, just on the street, let’s say, somewhere. i think that our conversation would not have happened if he had come back drunk after that, because he went there for pizza with friends, returned 2 days later, yes, well, rather everything, we wouldn’t talk about this, we are still talking about something else, that your relationship today has value for both of you, in this

value you need to find commonality, this is an experience, it can be your common , and yes, it will give birth to love, because there, as it were, only... love will remain. are you watching the triggers podcast, our guest today is tatyana, with whom we talk about how to cope with the fear of loneliness in family relationships? it turns out that at the moment of such a situation, in order to cope with it, you need switch your focus to the experience of another person. first, you need to not look for a dinosaur, direct your attention to fear, which... signals you that you are alive here now, and this is the first thing that will relieve, well, such a strong unbearable anxiety about, well, the fact that i’m going to die, then yes, i’m afraid, which means i’m alive right here now, and when this removes such

tension from the fear of death, you will have the opportunity to shift your attention to what your husband feels, to admit that it’s possible he also now that he... very masterfully quarrel, and not we, of course, of course not, and that, and that really helps me, but when i’m in a moment of anger, anger, resentment, feeling that i am not needed, i admit this thought, i always succeed, but when it succeeds, it’s great, i admit that perhaps he is not as well now as i imagine, perhaps we are in the same boat, this is the experience , it is general. then, if he feels bad too, then this evens out our positions, then i start

to think, okay, that means i’m not the only one who has the world has collapsed, probably the same thing is happening to him, this allows me to come out with some kind of constructive expression, absolutely, well, after a fight, when all the emotions have gone away, if there is some kind of conversation that is already constructive, this is usually what happens, that is, it also says that i... hurt, bad, i left there, of course, only at the moment it turns out, emotions, as if you don’t see it, when everything is already passing, well, of course, because we immediately run away into the tunnel, i don’t necessary, yes, but if we assume, after all, this is an equal situation, yes, it is neutral, we don’t know whether i’m needed or no, then maybe it’s worth choosing, but what if we need each other, we need each other, but we have such a conflict, then... a lot of pain is relieved, then you want to meet halfway, there is still such an important

point, which you are talking about, tatyana, when, you say that if he doesn’t come on time, i start to think that i’m not important, my word is not important, doesn’t mean anything, yes, you are not important at this moment, at this moment work is more important there, at this moment something else is more important, the traffic jam, in the end, is more important than you, he doesn’t is next to you at this moment, but why are you looking... well, of course, in my head it seems to me that he always does, but in reality probably not, well

, i mean, if you remember something now, then he will also have something to say , of course he will have something to say, 100%. and what is the agreement, come at 7:00 pm or be at home at 7 pm, there may be something from the region, i ’ll be leaving work in an hour, for example, i’m there by this time, for example, preparing dinner, well, there’s something there that we’re all there now. oh, he can stay there forever it’s cooled down, everything there is already everything, the whole mood has already ended, who are you waiting for, this is some kind of injustice, but we kind of agreed, well, for example, it’s just that you can imagine that he’s sitting there at work and thinking , well, yes, i promised, but well, no , it’s okay, i’ll come later, well, it’s more likely that he happens there, that he arrives there, then oh, on the way i also decided this, this, this, i didn’t warn you , and it

happens to me that i give up some of my plans, for example, at this moment, because he’s waiting now, and this is important for me, that right now we’re going to have dinner, and i, for example, could have some kind of call there, or about work, something, well, some little things, there, which i remove for these half an hour of time, because first the family, then this, let’s say, but... it turns out that first he chooses this, and then the family, well, as if it’s normal for me, this is just normal, but why do you choose the opposite? well, why are you between a call, which is for work, as i understand it, and preparing dinner? and sit, wait for him, because he may be late at this moment, you choose to sit and wait, well, for example, you agreed that you will be home at 7:00, yes, you prepared dinner by 7 o’clock, but there is no person at home at 7 o’clock, well, you had dinner and went to call, for example, uh-huh, he came, ate what was left, it’s cold,

the time when i could do all my business, i was waiting for you, there’s a feeling that i’m waiting for you - this is some- it’s your business, so i call and say: tan, what are you doing, i’m waiting for my husband, but somehow? stupid, yes, no, it's definitely stupid, but you so you can answer, that’s the point, i ’m wondering how you’re waiting for him, how you go out around the house like, where are you, somewhere, looking out the window, where, where, it’s cold outside, there’s a blizzard, what’s up, no, i’m doing some things, well, it’s as if in my head,

that’s the point, but this activity has no result, yes, it’s absolutely meaningless, but... if you do it meaningfully at least once, just wait, i don’t know what you will do, what it will mean, i’m waiting, you can walk around the room, for example, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, you can, for example, or you can stand like this and stand like a dog, look at the door like this, when i had a dog, members of my family told me and this is not a legend, but reality, they told me about the fact that he always sat in front of the door there 7-8 minutes before i arrived and looked at the door like that and there it meant that... in 7-8 minutes i would come in, i honestly don’t really like i believe that sovaks know how to count time, so or what at such a distance, perhaps he smelled my scent, i don’t know, yes, but it doesn’t matter, but this is what they call waiting, yeah, that is, the dog, she was waiting like this, she was looking at the door when her beloved owner would come, and she didn’t care that the house was full of people, someone might be eating there give him something or

something else, he was not distracted, he was waiting, well , try to wait like this, sit down on a small one... in general, the stupidity of this activity, the absurdity of the situation, the absurdity of this, you don’t need to say anything to your husband, you need to sit down the situation and stopped doing this, then you have to wait for you to see, and you will do all the things that you usually do, but just stop waiting for this, i asked exactly the same question

, unfortunately, most people do not go to school to study, but go to school to sit in it, and listen to teachers , usually, well, they seem to listen, but don’t hear, in most cases, this is, of course, a question for teachers, not for children, and here it’s exactly the same, take it, isolate these 15 minutes of such stupid waiting from your ordinary life, but only don't say that i'm waiting and cooking at the same time dinner or i wait and give something there. or i ’m waiting for something with my right foot and i’m stirring the pan or playing with a child, no, waiting means sitting down like this in front of the door and sitting waiting, i assure you, once will be enough for you to sit the children too, and that’s in fact, such a cultural code, because when we watched, for example, in childhood, soviet films about the war, yes

there was, well, right now i don’t remember the names of these films, but there were... such films when there, like, who is this, he says, this is afrasinya, a soldier, waiting for her husband, what do you mean she’s waiting for her husband, she ’s been waiting for him for six years, well, how is she waiting, she ’s giving birth to children there at this time, i don’t know, she walks around, feeds, looks after the cow, there’s something else there, she’s waiting, because this i’m waiting for the state, it seems to have appeared, it has some kind of meaning, in fact, when i try to ask the question, what is the meaning of this, i’m waiting, it doesn’t exist, and if you do meaningless things...

some kind of new life , which will begin later, something will happen, i will wake up, i’m looking for a job, what do you mean i’m looking for a job? you go and look under the bushes, no, it seems, i’m looking for mushrooms, it’s clear, yes, i’m walking, looking for mushrooms, you may not find a damn thing, but for the whole day you can enjoy the activity so much, because it is an activity, it is meaningful, when we remove this meaningfulness from there , then we begin to engage in absolute nonsense, this disrespect for ourselves for the fact that i am so... completely, meaninglessly, carelessly wasting my life in general, forces us to transfer this act of disrespect to another person, therefore the conflict and. .. now i imagined myself in your husband’s place when this expectation is gone, i just wanted to come home, i wanted to come home, because you have some kind of

interesting life there, because you feel good there, you are there, in fact, that’s how it is in general , when you put it all away , yes, even sergei said that one situation alone would be enough to wait like this, even in mine, in my head. i’ve already imagined it and i don’t really want to play it anymore, come on, so the next time he asks you, like, what are you doing, and you say, i’m waiting for you, well, i think that already heartburn will be on this answer, thank you, this is just such a discovery, yes, because it’s like , well, unfortunately, i say, it was loaded into the consciousness with various kinds of elements, when i have to wait for someone or there, that i’m waiting, well kind of good.

hot, what, where, when, summer series of games from may 19, on the first. you are watching the triggers podcast, our guest today is tatyana, with whom we are talking about how to cope with the fear of loneliness in family relationships. in this loneliness there is fear, we have isolated it, there is this waiting, waiting, and i don’t... whatever also, how do you feel about it? well, i’ve already described it in principle, i just don’t know how to say it in more detail, if about fear itself,

how i feel it, what it seems like i’m about to die, how it feels in the body or what in general, how in the body, well there’s this feeling, there’s this expression, like the earth disappears from under your feet, it’s so banal, but it really reflects in principle, that is , it seems that...

this, then everything, well, it’s already normal, third everything is already fine, without arriving, everything is fine, that is, it’s like this it’s happening, it’s simple, and i say, i

understand very clearly in my head that this is cool and i feel very good alone and as a mother and two children , i would really like to be alone without everyone, without my husband, including, but at this moment why- then, well, i now understand why, i saw it why, that it’s just... that somehow it seems to rip open, so he returns you there to that intensive care unit, where you are alone, but as we have already found out, you cope, you are very tenacious, very tenacious, well, in general it becomes clear that the first fear is always good an indicator that you are alive, i ’m fine, yes, second, turn your attention to the fact that your partner is now feeling not the most positive positive emotions, and third, snatch your focus, the spear of your attention, snatch from this... here expectation, that is, to make this expectation, but with a very conscious action in order to see its absurdity, i realized that this is very,

this is very. this is very strong, thank you, thank you, thank you very much, well, i just like my puzzles fit a little bit in general, that’s it you were talking just now, and let’s say, i also remembered a painful situation there for me, there was a period of time when i didn’t communicate with my dad, we didn’t talk for 4 years, and i now remembered that in general in the case when it was difficult for me there i was sick there as a child, well, no... he just canceled all his business at that moment, it wasn’t often, well, i mean, i wasn’t sick often, but there were situations when he dropped everything, he cooked me this chicken soup, it was next to me, let’s say this is how love is born for you, well, including, yes, well, it’s necessary, and it’s necessary, but why haven’t we talked to dad for 4 years, and this

is a big, long story... this story is also absurd, my parents separated, and this, well somehow, somehow it influenced both of them, how old were you when you weren’t 25, that is, it was, no, you didn’t talk to dad after twenty-five, yes, it was, it was, yes, and he’s talking about, well, i think that he experienced this breakup in his own way, and apparently i also somehow experienced this breakup, and my mother was there, well, in general, but just at some point he, well, i i think that he just decided to be alone, so there were some attempts to get in touch with him, but they did not increase, but they were successful, plus this was the period when i moved to moscow, that is, it was only four years ago, and he stayed in my hometown in chelyabensk, so we haven’t seen each other.

yeah, with him, that is, we started communicating normally, restored relations, when i arrived there, when i met him in person, we talked somehow, something happened there, well, some kind of chemistry, i don’t i know, in a good way, now we maintain a very warm, good relationship, well, that is, in fact, dad just needed to be alone, but i think so, something was going on with him and you don’t know, but these 4 years as i understand it, they weren’t very painful for you either, they were very painful for me, very much, including about...

sailing around the world? no, into space? no, i have the only idea that was suggested - that i suffer from an illusion, well, like, that i don’t know what he really is like there loves me and is he waiting for me, let’s say, now at all, i don’t know what’s happening to him, i have some kind of picture from childhood that my dad loves me, but now this is not there, and i suffer from some kind of illusion, this is the only idea that was, and i think so, well, probably, maybe that ’s the case, i decided to break this illusion, to meet him personally. in fact , it helped me in the end, that is, a personal meeting, she somehow put everything in its place, and dad, when he left, this, solitary swimming, and he once told you that now is the period when i need, no, he was just offended, at you, at you, yes, at me personally, because i didn’t congratulate him on february 23, yeah, that is, everything was fine, fine, everything was perfect, then you didn’t steal it, i

was in another country at that moment, they discover something new about themselves, because, for example, about making an expectation meaningful actions and believe me, you won’t be able to stand it for more than 15 minutes, yes, i think now it will help a huge number of people who suffer from when they are waiting for someone who, for example, is late, in this context, when we talk about dad, it’s the same thing, i know that it’s really not easy, it’s not easy when a person suddenly dies and breaks off contact ,

at this moment you begin... what did i do wrong, what happened to me, why, how could he, because of what, but do i really deserve such an attitude, but all this is meaningless, because a person simply does not communicates. well, you can do it the way you did, in the end they took it, they arrived 4 years later and we talked, too, it’s a shame that not earlier, yes, yes, well, it was the triggers lab podcast, and its host tatyana krasnovskaya, and sergey nasebyan, we talked with tatyana about how to make the waiting process a conscious activity , well, how, in general, can we cope with the fear that we experience in moments when our loved ones cannot be near us. because we want it that way, you can watch all episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru, and if you are interested in sorting out your situation or resolve some of your issues with us in this studio, you can fill out the form that you will find on the website

1tv.ru. warrior, naturally, no one denies his valor, but first of all his wisdom, patience and even humility were valued, that’s why yes, this figure needs to be dealt with, well, indeed

, there are discussions around alexander nevsky among historians and not only historians, there are a lot of myths , and these myths are difficult to separate from the truth, especially since there are not many sources, this is our task, i i think this is the task of history... first of all, yes, it is to compare all these few data, to choose something to draw some kind of consistent picture, such a puzzle, and with the missing details, as usual, historians actually do that, but to figure it out, try to figure it out where there really is a myth and where there is truth, you need to try. hello, this is a historical russia-west podcast on the swing of history. pyotr romanov and sergei solovyov are with you, today we are talking about alexander nevsky. well, times of alexander nevsky - these are the most difficult and difficult times for the russian people, because this is disunity, this is a numerous principality, civil strife, a lot of bloody events,

this disunity that existed then, of course, it really helped various kinds of interventionists, because the russians knew how to fight no worse . others, but they beat them one by one, that’s why there were a lot of difficult events of that period, the threat was from two sides, now we mostly remember the threat of the west and the fact that it was advancing on russia, so to speak, was advancing forces inspired by the vatican, but an even more terrible danger threatened from the east, this is the horde. because in those days just a lot of cities were destroyed, a significant part of russia fell into slavery, they paid tribute, so alexander nevsky inherited what they

inherited, as they say, it was inherited, it was not he who created this situation, but when he had already matured and became, one might say, governor in novgorod, and then headed the principality, to resist, this is what he did with a sword in the approach he had, if in the west he could hands, then in the east he had to conduct a very flexible, difficult, humiliating policy, because he was on... regarding alexander nevsky, he quite rightly said that he had to demonstrate, when combined, an incompatible quality, on the one hand,

military valor, on the other hand, the humility of a monk, in fact, here we are, this image that we are used to alexander nevsky in armor with a sword and so on, this is this. the times of peter the great, because peter forbade depicting alexander nevsky on icons, as sometimes, so humble, he needed a holy warrior. well, it’s clear, in the conditions of the fight against the swedes, the threat of the west, therefore, so to speak, since those times, strictly speaking, alexander nevsky is, first of all, a warrior for us, although if we remember the real history, then of course, it’s probably even more important, what we are not aware of now is how he resolved relationship issues. let's talk about this, of course, but first,

probably, about the context associated with western europe, the struggle was for the baltic lands then, but before this struggle began, it must be said that the west, the germans, actually considered the territory of estonia, the territory of latvia, livonia, strictly speaking, the sphere of influence of the russian princes, the russian princes took tribute there, maybe not regularly, but nevertheless they took tribute when they appeared there. bishopric, interestingly, exkul in russia,

that is, this territory was considered as if already russia, there is ruthenium, to be precise, who brought christianity to livonia, he was at first, he concluded an agreement with the livs, yes, accordingly, he began to build stone castles there, on the territory of christianized tribes, but he was not satisfied with the christian zeal of these tribes, they even threatened to kill him, and his successor was a bishop. schulty was distinguished by even greater zeal, which ended with him being killed 2 years later, after he became a bishop after the death of his successor in 1698, which in turn led to the first crusade in the baltic lands against the pagans. of course, these are not the crusades that are against the arabs, but for liberation of the holy sepulcher, but subsequently it must be said that riga, which the germans would rebuild in order to penetrate these territories, was perceived as such a northern jerusalem to a southern one. jerusalem was lost, and here

, accordingly, here is a new application of forces, the crusades were then repeated in the baltic lands, on the initiative of the monk theodoric, an associate of these bishops , the order of the sword bearers was organized in 1202 to conquer livonia. prince vladimir polsky began to act not very successfully against the swordsmen at the beginning of the 12th century; there were battles with variables. the knight successfully ceded estonia in 1224; in addition, the danes were still advancing from the north of estonia, who were then very actively moving into these lands. and actually revel, the future tallinn, yes - it was originally a danish fortress. in 1233 , a new northern crusade was organized, as it was called, but this campaign was unsuccessful. in 1234, near yuriev, the troops of the swordsmen were defeated and by whom? novgorod prince yaroslav. in total, together

with his assistants, they found themselves in the role of the livonian order, the livonian branch of the order of tifton, and the new order initially began to seek an alliance with the new prince, alexander yaroslavovich, who would later become alexander nevsky, against a common enemy, against.

at the same time they were forced to pay tribute to the crusaders and russia, and there were even tribes that were baptized catholic, but paid tribute to novgorod. yes yes yes. here. moreover, well, i don’t know, i can’t say for sure, but i have this impression, in any case, this also comes from the chronicles sources that, strictly speaking, yes, of course, there were some attempts to introduce christianity, but

first of all, in those days, such material interests dominated, tribute, tribute, first of all, well, in relation to the crusaders in those days. ..

it must be said that the raids of the lithuanians posed a particular danger to russia at that time, very little is remembered about this now, in fact , lithuania, as i already said, is such a rather powerful association, a powerful union of tribes, which seriously threatened the crusaders at that time, and russia , not by chance, the livonian order, newly emerged, tried to come to an agreement with alexander yaroslavovich to fight against lithuania. russian principalities right up to the right bank of the dnieper, they were subjected to constant raids from lithuania, we are more so.

year was connected with the fact that the swedes tried to build some kind of fortification on this place, we don’t know exactly what kind, yes, which could control the ivoryak path to the greeks, because this path had, as it were, two northern branches, one through the western dvina, in ustye the germans installed riga there, that is, already they plugged it with a cork, and through the neva with volkhov, where, accordingly, where petersburg is now, accordingly, the swedes could also take control of this very important trade route, the ancient russian one.