behind, how many of you are there? are you the third or something? the first one is konstantin!

well, the hero is alive, and he, like him, he was alive, his brother covered for him until he died the day before yesterday, be patient, a little, but what about the raw one, with lieutenant skvartsova, everything is fine, lieutenant. caught with live bait, well, such a job,

kolya, well, they wanted to check you too, your phone number is not there, you wrote down the number correctly, maybe we’ll check, you did everything correctly, where are you going, and ira also checked me, ira, ir' . don’t pull, i’m not up to you now, ira, you thought it was him, i didn’t think so, that's it, you won't come again, i will come, i'll come tomorrow, wait. kohl, go to bed, we

’ll look after your household until the morning, she’s not married, go, yeah.

kolya, hello! what happened here? did the lodge burn down? i brought sasha’s portrait today. sasha’s friend and colleague, they died together.

do what you must and the way that will be, do what you must and the way, do what you must and the way that. will be, do what you have to, and the way, be happy, be happy.

have the dead really risen from their graves? they frighten those around them, but what should they do? in fact, we went to the old cemetery to see everything with our own eyes.

when we asked what was going on here, the watchman suddenly said, what horror? will the ritual have an effect? exile has no effect on returning to this place of life, unexpectedly, our interlocutor became numb, his gaze became empty and lifeless, as if someone had moved into him, what are the cemetery authorities thinking about, isn’t it time for the authorities to pay attention to this problem, because you could become the next victim. who are you? are you ready to kill?

come out, i'm not afraid of you, come out! what you want from me?

in short, we thought, boy, you ’re normal, you come to us from all sides, work for yourself, we won’t scare you anymore, why did we scare you before, but because there’s no place for cowards here. fuck you, both of you, wait,

nikolai, we are not just like that, we have business for you, vasily ivanovich only cares about bandit graves, my old man was not allowed to put over the coffin for me for a year, but this is our home when we let's leave here, none of... us know, put things in order here and you'll have enough left, there's enough money here for everything, makarov, buy it, modified, of course we understand that you can run away with these money, or not, is it your right? will you accompany me? kohl, forgive me, i

should have told you earlier, but we decided with the guys, let’s go, today my deadline has come, it’s time for me, demobilization, well, you can say so. and where now? to heaven or to hell? i don't know. good today. beautiful. yes, some left in the rain. slump through the mud. the main thing is that it turns left now. i'll have time before it rains.

somehow everything is so simple, as if i’m accompanying you to work, well, imagine that it’s like that yes, it’s easier this way, for now. kolya, kolenka, kolunia,

tuvar, kolenka, not lyudnya!

come on, i'll find you. uncle vasya, come on, breathe, breathe, cook,

you!

what am i to you, vasily ivanovich, i’m your uncle, i don’t get dressed, why are you tired here, lord, is that you?

that’s it, that’s all for sure, we thought that if you want, i can lay them out here everywhere, only here i am. wait, let me help you. it’s not hard for you, you’re limping all the time, come on, come on, kolya, galya, yes, you know, so i

’ll help, well, yes, help, it’s my birthday, dear grandmother, i met girl, she's beautiful. registration, i’m kidding, she laughs, it looks like you in your youth, and we’ll pay off all the debts and build a new house, don’t worry, uncle vasya has changed a lot, everything is just like in some sanatorium, and in general a lot has changed here, now i for the main one.

hello, dear tv viewers, you are watching the triggers lab podcast, with you is its leading psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist and psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, our guest is yulia, hello, yulia, hello, tell us what you came to us with? i came with such an interesting request, i don’t know what to call it, it’s a diagnosis or my fears or my beliefs, in general, it seems to me that i have a childish position, that is, i... as if i’m always expecting from someone that some of my issues will be resolved, well, for example, there is a job search, that one of my friends will offer me something, or, for example, my man will solve

these issues for me, until a certain period i had a dad who helped me , i have a feeling that i have no knowledge, yes, it’s like doing something myself, but despite everything that i expect, for example, from my... decision, i broadcast myself this way, well, that is, this is how i see myself inside, this is how others apparently see me, so i have this request, tell us a little about your story about

what is your relationship with your parental family now? i have two parents, a brother, a brother 8 years younger, so i’m the older sister, the eldest child in a relationship with my brother, it so happened that my mother worked for us , there was an 8-year difference between us and me somehow. was partly his parent in some way, dad earned money not bad, supported us, my mother also worked, but from a certain moment, when i now analyze, well, my past life, i understand that, well, for example, many things were not done according to my wishes, yes, it was not my choice, but just, well, we sort of followed the path of least resistance, that is, the university was chosen where i was...

but it was at school, that is, we met from the age of 14, then at the age of 19, i was 19 years old, we 20, we got married, lived in marriage for 25 years then separated, i have two children, the eldest his son is 20 years old and his daughter is 16, at some point i made a decision for myself that i would go, well, let’s say, on a long maternity leave, that is, i was at home for 8 years, taking care of the children, as for me mm. .. it turned out that she was an ideal mother, so, well, then it happened that at some certain moment , uh, it became necessary to go to work, because well, that was my financial situation, and i realized that at the age of 45, mm, i came out, in me - there was no self-doubt, the skills were lost, that is, all i could tell myself was that, well, i seem to be good mom, well, then over time, naturally, like

there is such a joke that if you have a mother, then you will definitely meet with a psychologist, the children began to grow up and why did the joke begin to uh come out, well, some of their injuries, and this included a certain feeling of guilt, that you begin to analyze whether you did everything like this, this structure has shaken, i’m a good mother, well , in the end, i came to the conclusion that people there 45-47 years old are summing up some results , but i don’t seem to know where i am, well, that’s the results for you i don’t like it, obviously, apparently, yes, yeah, i like the children, i don’t like the results, i don’t like the results, yeah, yeah, so i can’t yet get my bearings to get on the rails and feel, well, self-confidence, let’s say, there’s a little bit of a feeling

of being lost, but what about divorce? the divorce happened, i was the initiator, relatively calmly, well, quite a serious decision for a person who does not know how to make decisions, why did you decide to divorce, i just began to understand that i was not happy in the relationship, i began to understand that i was not giving to my first husband, nothing, well, that is , as for a man, i... understand that all the same , the support of a woman, faith in him, it is important, here i am, that is, you withdrew yourself, i did not experience these feelings for him, well let’s just say he disappointed me, or, as you say, i don’t like the results, well , accordingly, mutual understanding was also not achieved, and well, i didn’t want to do that, because i didn’t want to get sick, i didn’t want to expose the children to stress,

because up to a certain point it was possible... somehow, well, level it out, and hide it, although the children tell me that they still, well, how they felt it, uh-huh, so, you said that he disappointed you, what, what was the initial expectation or charm, well material issues, that is, somehow, well , conditionally, let’s say, there was such an initial agreement that i would work with the children, but he provides our rear, but it so happened that... at a certain point the situation changed for me i had to go to work, the situation changed in the sense that he was not able to provide for your family - at the level that was necessary, yes, yes, uh-huh, well, this entailed some certain things, maybe we just , as adults, could not cope with this situation, yes so how we had an early marriage, maybe we’re kind of stuck at that age, yes, that is, we’ve grown up, but...

adults haven’t learned to solve issues, maybe that’s what you’re crying about now, i’m crying, i feel sorry for myself, that it’s not like you’ve been crying for 45 years, you have healthy children, and why are you sorry, well, it’s obviously not so imagined your 45, well, something like this, didn’t you like the results?

build a foundation on someone who dies? well, the question is, how could you build a foundation on someone who dies? well, let’s talk to you about this, how you built a support on, i don’t know, there’s a spike on clay. feet, relatively speaking, maybe i didn’t think about it before, that is, while everything was arranged, well, everything was going well and those same questions did not arise that dad helped, as i understand it, until some point in your family, yes , yes, yes, a certain moment, well it turns out that he was like, well, for me, maybe in the subconscious, just like a support and was some kind of support, and then it so happened that i... went to work, then a pandemic happened, and i was made redundant, i got divorced and my dad died, for me it’s like as if everything was a royal, yes, well, as usual, that’s how it happens, it doesn’t happen a little at a time, it happens all at once, huh, how did you

cope with such a royal flush, i don’t know how you coped, well, i can’t say , that at the moment when all this was happening, i had some kind of deep analysis, i somehow suffered, yes, well, somehow it seems to me, that i felt so good because i got divorced, as if i had solved some kind of issue, that i didn’t, well, didn’t analyze the fact that, for example, i was left without a livelihood, and that, well, i was fired , well, that your divorce will have some consequences for you, and the children stayed with you, and the children stayed with me, but my husband supports, helps, that is, well, it’s like... we got divorced very - how to say, right , this is probably, well, environmentally friendly, yes there is such a thing, yeah, that is, you still have a fairly good relationship with your husband, now you have a man, that’s right, yes, now i have a second husband, you weren’t alone for long

, not for long, yeah, so what, and this husband lives up to expectations, now there are no expectations, now it’s just there, well, somehow every time there is a present moment. well, in these current moments, he performs the functionality that you assigned to him, a person who solves your problems, meets some of your needs? yeah, yeah, why are you worried? i’m worried about myself, but i don’t see how, well, as a person, as a unit, yes, that is so you don’t have such a task, so far, from what you said, there was only one task: first to live with your dad, then to live with your husband. to live with a second husband, what kind of personality are we talking about? well, apparently, now such a need arises, there is such a task as you would like, this is the ideal picture, this is this holistic personality, what it is like, when you can rely on yourself to understand that it is good

when there is a person nearby, but at the same time, if there is no person nearby, well, everything seems to be okay with you, not in the sense that you are divorced or married, not as... a partner, but in a family, but that in principle you can handle it yourself, that is, for me, how will you understand this, that is, what do you need for this, now you don’t consider yourself like that, you you don’t consider yourself like that based on some analytical calculations of such or such results, and, for example, you don’t have a profession that would make you happy, that you would be proud of, so you have no income. which would allow you to exist comfortably alone without relying on other people, you apparently don’t have any interests, not i know there is a hobby there, that’s what you’re talking about, which means that when they ask you, tatyana, and i have reason to assume

that all this should be the other way around, it’s you who should master a profession that will give you respect, confidence there, and so on, yes, you need to provide for yourself accordingly , from start to finish, and accordingly. life should be interesting, that’s how you understand that you are the right person, right? yes, okay, i like this approach. let's start with the profession, what kind of institution are you in the end? are you finished? graduated from the kursk polytechnic institute, where did your parents go? yes, so, you are an engineer, software, yes, yeah, second graduated from college, financial manager, well, i received a financial education, so well, both seem to be quite in demand today, well... the first education, it’s so nominal, then this is not about me at all, second education, but initially i worked there for several banks, then i worked at a company as a financial manager, then as an accountant, then i wanted to leave accounting and i was fired, well

accordingly, she couldn’t answer my request, so you liked your work in the accounting department, no, there are people who like working in the accounting department, it’s interesting, for sure, probably so. i wanted to leave, and it so happened that by chance, not by chance, i got a job as an assistant to the director of a state school, and did you like this job? yes, i liked this job, now... it doesn’t work there, now i don’t work there, because of the pandemic you were laid off, no, i was laid off from the accounting department, why don’t you work at the school if it’s for you like? a little difficult to be a personal assistant, there are certain moments when i couldn’t, well , morally, combine this role as a personal assistant, yes, that is , i liked all the functionality, everything except that at some point they start , well, like certain boundaries. i couldn’t defend mine, let’s say, that is, i don’t

have any complaints against my employer, yes, but i just realized that at some certain moment i lost myself, and you left yourself, yes, yeah, that’s was your last job, yes, you quit a long time ago, mm, in september, okay, and if we assume that now you will again climb out of the hole in which you are, what profession would you like to make yours? okay, how long do you plan to work in the position of some kind of administrator, something, well , until the end of your days, for example, you want to die at work, this is possible, or you understand that you have 15 active years left there, you’ll definitely die for now i don’t want to, i don’t want to die at work either, but for a while longer, well, i’m interested in working... i’m now 47 years old and i’m still

i don’t see how i’m a pensioner, that is, i have strength, desire, i don’t want to work, but how would you like your life to change, suddenly a miracle, the whole mechanism switches and suddenly your ideal life begins, what it would look like, there, in a month you have this, in a year, in 5, in 10 years, you wake up, satisfied. well, there is this, let’s say, some kind of inspiration and desire to do things, interest satisfaction, well, so internal, yes, that it doesn’t mean there are some moments, why do you cry when you’re talking about it, well, you’re talking about how great it will be, why are you crying even when you look in there, no, i’m sorry that it’s not like that now, okay, it’s not like that now. it’s just a fact, why do you get upset when

we talk about your fantasies, maybe i somehow don’t believe that this is possible, i have a feeling that you’re talking and don’t believe it, i also have this feeling that you seem to have let someone down very badly by the fact that you couldn’t get it all, who you let down, someone who was disappointed in you, yourself let you down, who else could be disappointed in you, when you made your decisions in life, you seemed to have stumbled and disobeyed someone. who told you how to do it, maybe it was your dad, maybe who, for example, maybe told you that yul, you shouldn’t get married so early, let’s say, or you shouldn’t marry this person, maybe no, but from what i see, how you talk about it, i get the feeling that now at this moment some character will come out of the darkness, maybe it’s not even a person who will have every reason to tell you it’s her own fault, were you warned? i would like him to come out, i would also look at him with

pleasure, let’s just call him here now, if we allow this fantasy, then what kind of character is he? i don’t know, maybe it’s something like a feeling of my own ego, well, it’s like how i am myself, how i’m disappointing you, and how you ’ve disappointed yourself, so let’s get to your stage. years, where your memory stops, where that julia appears, who has a basis to be disappointed in you now today, at 35 years old, what was there at 35 years old, filled, somehow, what happened at 35 years old, during this period of your life, what happened, i was fine at 35, yes, what else was happening there, i knew where to move, i understood that i had goals, what, well, was that 12 years ago? this is essentially the birth of your second child, where were you heading? why,

right? ok, why? to the fact that there was an opportunity to do what you liked, and what you liked? then you went on maternity leave eight year old? yes, i liked planning, well , somehow i liked the children, well, taking care of them, yes, but now i ’m analyzing it for myself on the other hand, that maybe it was precisely at that moment that the moment of leaving took place. from myself, yes, that is, it’s as if, instead of taking care of myself, i’m as if they, well, by yourself, you covered yourself with your children, and this gave you an excuse before your father and before your husband at that time, it also gave you ...

but it happened there, well, this is the most disappointing, disappointment, it happened there the problem is that even at that moment you were not confident in your husband, that he would be able to provide for you the way you needed, you already saw it then and then understood it, but you closed your eyes, that’s the point, instead so that at 35 there, well, even though you are now, in general , quite good, but at 35 you were young, and

this was the moment when it was possible and worthwhile to make other decisions, perhaps get a divorce, perhaps there were such thoughts. it’s possible not to go on this eight-year maternity leave, but to focus on building your career, building your relationships in this world, so that this world knows about you as a person, and not as a prefix to your husband, right there at this second or this minute or this year, it doesn’t matter, it’s like julia got lost there, well, as if it happened before a little earlier, you seem to be very familiar with this state of disappointment of some kind...

my husband, in principle, also seemed to be comfortable, well, despite everything that i was like a mother, yes, but i wasn’t much of a girl, that is, i don’t know how i can’t take the packages that are there, just walk past them, yes, i will definitely take them, well, here are some moments like how it was for you to be the head of the family, at first i liked this , well, judging by the fact that i took this role for myself, and i liked it. there is a feeling that along with this dominance you got the husband who did not live up to your expectations? well, of course, yes, i understand it now, well, the decision to get a divorce, it was also absolutely my decision, and i realized that, well, no matter what, no matter what, even if there’s no work there, that’s all, i

don’t care i can't be in this marriage anymore, and this is a bold decision, i don’t know, i just understood differently that well, it’s like i just can’t breathe, well... well, i really physically just can’t and, accordingly , i’m suppressing my first husband, too, because i understood that that’s exactly where i was, very well, so strong in a negative sense, very, yeah, at the beginning you said that your request was that you were in a child’s position, a child’s position and such dominance in the family as this? and now it’s as if something like this happened, you know, like a shapeshifter and uh, i’m kind of afraid that whether to go back and become so dominant again, or as if, well, let’s just say , yes, it didn’t lead to anything good, well, relatively speaking, i think that if you...