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tv   Klub Veselikh i Nakhodchivikh  1TV  June 8, 2024 9:35pm-11:51pm MSK

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social worker's day. they dedicate their lives to this matter. there are even entire dynasties for whom the pain of others becomes their own, and help becomes a real calling. today , deputy prime minister tatyana golikova congratulated employees of all russian social services. she especially noted that in recent years government programs in this area have been expanding, and therefore the work is becoming even more effective. social work is an important and noble mission. you surround with your care and attention. sincere dedication to your work. social coverage services over 6 years increased almost 2 and a half times and amounted to about 8.4 million people. a national holiday began in tatarstan and bashkiria today.
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now the club of cheerful resourceful people, the major league, is on the air on channel one.
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good evening, good evening, dear friends, my name is dmitry khrustalev, this is the major league of the club of cheerful, resourceful people, the 2024 season has come to its equator, today’s game is exactly the middle of the season, but it’s already possible. it is obvious that the season is turning out to be very successful, young teams are showing a bright game, the favorites prove their status, we already had five debutant jury members and we are not going to slow down, today is the second quarter of the final, an interesting and dramatic game, i wish everyone a great evening, we are starting kvn.
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for those who for some reason did not watch the first quarter of the final game, i inform everyone else and remind you that at this stage of our season exactly half of the teams advance to the next stage, so you understand, the competition is crazy, i am pleased to introduce you to the teams. another metropolitan team that sets itself the mission of promoting russian culture is the kvn team, university section.
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already a completely recognizable humorous brand with its own special style, the kvn team stolik, the city of chulym. well, finally, the current champions of the major league, who took one-eighth. the highest score is the kvn flash royale team, rostov-on-don. today we will see as many as four competitions, i will tell you about each in detail a little later, but for now i would like to introduce a team that, thanks to its the scoreboards will, so to speak, decide the fate of the guys standing on this stage. judicial. colleagues, debutant of the kven
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jury, tv presenter of channel one, yulia varanovskaya, yulia, welcome to the club. and is no longer a debutant, also a tv presenter of the first channel, olympic champion, alexey yagudin, but another debutant of the major league and the jury of the major league, comic, showman, member of the ural dumplings team, roman postovalov. and the young , beautiful, but already so strict in terms of grades, uncompromising world champion in figure skating of evgeniy medvedev. and finally, the permanent chairman of the jury,
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general director of channel one, konstantin ernst. we begin. good luck teams. thank you! we, friends, will begin, according to tradition, with the greetings competition. each team will show us a performance in its own style. it's always hard to start, so i ask you to welcome this team as warmly as possible. on stage, ruden team, moscow. uh! well, hello everyone, young people from rudnya are on stage, and we represent the russian university, and today, wait, you forgot the friendship of peoples, i, christmas trees, you think it ’s all because of me now, okay, there’s something to discuss, it’s relevant,
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there’s a song about import substitution, i’m so happy, so glad, i have you, i want to say, great taste and i say crustaceans, no teeth it is necessary, if there are crustaceans, thank you for being there, guys, wow, how sick of words you are, what kind of politics, it’s clear from you that you... laugh at the word single-mandate, guys, what’s wrong with your voice young guzeeva? and for some reason you look like an unswollen drowned man? denard, i actually thought that we were friends, well, what kind of friends, you
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not the taliban, but friends, denar, what don’t you like, and the fact that rudn is performing, no one is on stage. a man who eats a side dish with his hands, so we meet, well, why do we need them, you are like the zenith, without foreign players, a purely cool lineup to go to barbecue, and the guys are so colorful, raja, they recently moved. from india is still shocked that in russia his sacred animal has a degree of roasting, and this is johnny, he is from zimbabwe, a unique people, they are afraid of mosquitoes more
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than coups, it’s easier for them to squash a coup, dinar, we want to pass on our own, well, team rudet, let's go, twenty-fourth. in an economy taxi, a taxi is so for the soul, this is how i sell people, we passed the turn, i know. what won’t homeless people do for just one cigarette? happy birthday, lyokha! oh, well done,
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hold your cigarette, man, if you please inquire, i understand that the smaller the museum, the more they brag about all sorts of little things. and i slept with andropov, why do i need this in the honey museum? well, there must be some fly in the ointment.
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sometimes the last will of the deceased raises questions. as we see, the widow is not discouraged, of course, such
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an inheritance went to her, we noticed that drunken football fans before the match are interviewed by just such journalists, god, in the end, i agree, only god will help your team, but why doesn’t he care, now from today game, with what score dynamo is abusing you, i ’ll whip you now, mm, fan, go into action, you’re lucky that you’re a woman, well, yes, because releasing... it doesn’t hurt as much as rooting for spartak. even
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if by caesarean. actually, spartak became the champion from 1992 to 2001. a you are erudite for such a rural harya. what rural mug? i am a native muscovite, my grandfather was a fan of spartak, my father. i was rooting for spartak, i am rooting for spartak, and my son will be rooting for spartak, i wish you to lift this generational curse, well, in the end,
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stellar group, cognac! teshoka, a product of stellor group, rum, castro, a product of stellor group. vodka, pechora, product of stellar group. honestly, it was unexpected for me; i called my father first. not everyone becomes a hero of russia every day . medal, gold star hero
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the russian federation inherits the golden traditions. star of the hero of the soviet union, when he once called me and quietly said that i saved people today, he had already become a hero for me, even before he was awarded this title, the regiment commander arrived, we all lined up, they gave me the st. george cross, can i see a photograph of semyon mikhailovich in budeonov with royal awards, st. george's crosses and st. george's medals, body, alexander nevsky order named after all these people, each order.
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hello everyone, my name is sasha, i have been here for 16 years i play the balalaika, hello, sasha, i grew up without a father, i play the balalaika, i’m studying to become an it specialist, as you understand, i want all the benefits. it so happened that seryozha is a lashkar, yes, i agree, it sounds insulting, but it just looks pathetic. sasha, you know how the am chord sounds on spoons, like ah, this is roma, he once lost
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his whistle, but... we are still friends. sorry guys, i'm late, what's wrong? i was riding an electric scooter. so they are fast. well, that's if you pay. oh, max, a man of russian soul. another musician i called me to the team so that the balalaika would look expensive, they laugh in vain, it’s a very useful thing, if you suddenly blurt out something wrong, it’s very easy to distract attention, here was one like that, we represent synergy university, this is the best
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university in the country, you say, what about moscow state university , there is a competition of 100 people per place, but what kind of university is this? who cannot provide a place for everyone, sharaga, what guys will play together? guys, congratulations, you have achieved your goal. i wanted to buy honey, meet me, this is lera, my girlfriend, but culture is interesting to people, over there tchaikovsky has one and a half million plays in a month, and lazarev has 2 million, what did he cram into your tchaikovsky? ler, not everyone supports this theory, you’re talking about lazarev, not everyone supports this theory. play
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like this. on guitar. oh, by the way, we heard.
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and you shouldn’t be in the state duma right now, but i ’m just from there, by the way, i ’m sitting in the state duma behind valuev, she has such an interesting fold on the back of her head, last week i spent 1500 in tens there, so you’re all over there. you are proposing bullshit, what bullshit, you proposed banning water polo, that’s right, naked men in the pool are rubbing against each other, all this is being filmed, this is just a hotbed of sodomy, it’s interesting that he didn’t actually propose this, but he still found arguments, it’s a pity that there is no person who can ban chalk, like no, just a lonely wolf. oh, katenka mizulina, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
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hello, hello, hello, everything seems traditional, but it’s still disgusting, youth, youth, not rappers, not rappers. do you like balalaika and russian culture? yeah, who should i kiss first? katya, you shouldn’t kiss anyone, they should be banned, but in general you know how to at least do something other than forbid, i can put my fist in my mouth, well, if necessary, well , that’s normal, oh well, they’re good guys, bright, they’re promoting russian... i have a strange feeling, for the first time i want to allow it, yeah, well then let’s also allow rap,
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what nonsense, how are you, how are you stuffed mizulina, i’m the mistress of the internet, so listen here, hey, hey, look, i'm a little over thirty, i cause tension with my vibe, turntables, your rap is clean, my rap is chatterbox, i write laws like young pushkin, you were supposed to fight evil, not join to him? to summarize, rap and balalaika have long been integral parts of modern russian culture, because it is with the help of music that
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a person can express his emotions, thoughts and feelings. in reality, this is just the base, oh my, section, thank you, like kisses. we thank the moscow government for assistance in organizing kvn games and continuing the greeting competition on this stage, the kvn team stolik, the city of chulym, well, great moscow! chulym stage, well, moscow, a good city,
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better than chulym, it’s cold here, we are poor, devastation, but this is not an anthem, wait, someone is missing, like you, not like you, you look like, oops, but no, this is a butt, dash, where was it in the museum, the abc of taste is called, this is a store, yes, and i also think, well, where did they get the waffle from 1499? by the way, where is solbon? ya here,
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wow, sobyanin, what cool underground i made the transitions, well, hello highest ligan, great salbon, why didn’t i come by taxi, why, in moscow there are continuous traffic jams, well, that’s because there are roads here. you are muscovites, but you are creating problems for yourself, you should take an example from us chulym, we are inexpensive, no traffic jams, no cars, but this is not an anthem, guys, let's be more serious that we are with you all the time, this is a table chulym, and today we will make you laugh, this is a chulym table, about chulym, now we’ll tell you, this is a chulym table, don’t
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get confused. from the closet, we are the closet, this is not the closet, we move on to the numbers, to the sketches, the father decided to creatively leave the family, well, both are ready! dad, mom, our dad, what 's magical? no, son, we have him as a fairy tale, you are now a blanket, a vernettsa, the boy has grown up and decided to avenge his
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father. boss, we found him, finally, yes, it 's him, this is for your father, shatatsla, pick him up, now skin him, now i 'll make your life a living hell, give him to that bum at the store, oh thank you, mother, father, chulym keeps up with the times, we also have face payment in stores, it turns out, vladimir vladimirovich, you only have chebupel.
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snickers, well, pay, the payment didn’t go through, well, write it down in your notebook, you already have a debt of 3,800, the money will come, what’s the matter, no, i can’t stand when it’s good, when it’s cold. there is a tendency that teachers leave the provinces to work in a big city. imagine, there is only one teacher left in the chulym school, but there are still 11 classes. so, the eleventh, seventh and third b. we open the notebooks, write down the topic of the lesson, the collapse of the ussr at the molecular level from
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a to z. although, so, gerasimov, sevtsova, ponfilov, let's check your homework first, in the young month of april, nightingale, in the old park taets, no, wooden, winged swing, beginner anzelov, why are you crying, what class am i in, so everything, children, be quiet , sit down, let's be more serious, after all, next year is waiting for you. eg, og and igogo says the horse, write it down, teacher, sucker, so sevtsova, i didn’t understand, and you also wanted to go to the director, well, let’s go, hello, what happened to you, i called the teacher a sucker, that’s it, sevtsova , tomorrow with my parents to school, at least
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they’ll take a couple of classes, otherwise i can’t take it out, the wine floats along the night water, i stand alone on the shore, i see the reflection of my dream, but i can’t find it. i can’t in heaven, in the end i would like to address the jury, we just don’t know whether we will see you again or not, well, they will call you again or not, we don’t know, behind the ore era team is the university, but the heart . and moscow synergy will flourish, and behind the clash royal the whole native rostov will stand like a mountain, only at the table is koschulym, only this is behind your back, mother earth, white
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a birch tree, a supply of mown grass, a little ridge in an open field, a hair's wind in the sky , only if... honestly, even for the victory of the table, the white ground of the birch tree for me is blooming hands for goli goli. it will be hot, what, where, when, summer series of games, tomorrow, after the program time, why have you
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been silent, for so many years that i have a son, and would you believe me, this russian’s child was taken away from her not so long ago, i will transport you and ours, i have a house there, citizenship, you will live.
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what kind of person should you be in 2024? let's figure it out. the earth is flat, the earth
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round. you need to be the one who can resolve the conflict, but you are both wrong, the earth is dear. you also need to be purposeful. when i grow up, i will become an astronaut. and i’m a freelancer, you need to strive for more and believe in yourself, you too can become a freelancer, yes, it’s amazing, but people with a small vocabulary find a response in society, but in our time you need to be able to convey your thoughts that you can do it later boom boom? but it’s even more important to be able to understand, yes, come on, of course, appearance is not as important as what’s inside, zhenya medvedeva, i heard him, let’s go for a walk, maybe
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you’re a good person, you need to be humane, come on, this is mine. hello everyone except karen. eh, why didn’t he say hello to me? we need to remember who god is with. briefly speaking. in 2024, you need to be an educated person, because, as peter v said, you need to know history. on stage, buckle up. guys, look what i have, the ammeter is strong. seryozha,
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are you chewing gum on stage? is now not the time? yes, we chew at interesting times. by the way, i decided to get circumcised. well, maybe more you'll change your mind. yes, no, i decided to end it. karen, have you watched schindler's list? i looked, he wasn't there. i think for now it’s clear to ren that he’s a threat to any reserved seat carriage. uncle.
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in general, of course, lyokha looks like an animator whom his stepfather ordered for the children, excuse me lyokha, but in childhood his father left the family, then his mother, sister, brother, so now they live somewhere together, just without him, but igor, they say you are giving away words, who? yes, everyone is talking. except for me, it was unnecessary. igor, it seems to me that you are a dictator. roma, there is no dictatorship in our team, i repeated this to you 1984 times. oh nadya, how are you? guys, i broke up with my boyfriend. damn, it's such a shame, good one. i was there, constantly giving you flowers, yeah, one day
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i wake up, the whole bed is covered in flowers, i thought i was dead, nadyukh, high five, well done, sober today, guys, vadik has arrived. guys, the gray one left, somehow a german-french, russian ended up, vovochka once met with marie ivanovna, vadik, what are you doing? what’s not clear, am i telling jokes? in
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general, the humor of our team, like the position of nastya ivleeva, can be reconsidered, uh, now something will happen, get ready, a trip to kazakhstan, a trip to kazakhstan, hello, i told you that, get ready, i gave it to her, i gave her a trip to kazakhstan, a trip to kazakhstan. sergey, you have 5 seconds, what program
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is airing on channel one at 21:00, damn it, i don’t remember the time, alas, and we say goodbye to andrey, armen, you’re next, i’m karen, you lost, it was a compromise section, the next question is, what mistake did finland make, and n. b - a, c. t. i dо. and while the participants are thinking, we will remove unnecessary letters through the computer. she's queuing unpredictable section. why, she wasn’t there. roman, say the whole word. probably wrong. alexey, you get
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the phone sex section. i choose to call a friend. hello, yes, hello, what did you want? alexey, goodbye. vadim, what was the name of the french writer’s dog? julia, that's right. final round, key bet. and then he fell. the final question is asked by the sailor, well, the sailors have no questions, the participants
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shake hands, nadya broke up with her boyfriend, which means a draw, we’ll see you later. kvn teams, when they just start playing, they choose different pieces of music for themselves, which are then associated exclusively with them. we have been playing for more than 10 years, we ended each of our performances with this song by bianca, last year we even became champions with this song. well , hello, bianca, well, hello, guys, it turns out that you are also a champion? and we are happy
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to tell you personally that this song has become, so to speak, our mascots for us, thank you, thank you guys for choosing this wonderful track, it’s not worth it, and also thank you very much for not paying me my copyright, it’s not worth it, one ticket to my concert costs 10,000 rubles, it’s not worth flash royale, we’re done, and you? well, friends, the first competition has been played, now a member of the jury has to get down to business, for this i call the teams on stage. so, marks for
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the greeting. the first to appear on this stage was the kvn team, the ruden team, dear judges, please prepare and show the scores to this team. rudn team: 4, 5, 5, 3, 4, 4.2 points, average score, synergy section. 4:4 5 3 4 the average score for this team for the first greeting competition is four points exactly table chulim 4 4 3 4 3.8 points, finally, royal flush
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rostov-nadon 5545. alexey is in a great mood today, well, let’s move on, you just watched the prepared competition, and now the guys have to improvise, we have a competition coming up warm-up with the jury, roman pustovalov, please, let's do this, many theater actors read shakespeare to prepare before the performance, but what do you read before the performance? hello, this is rodin, many. theater actors before a performance to read shakespeare for inspiration, and what you read before a performance, why are our
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si in heaven, that’s it, thank you, and what you read before a performance, we read before performances for diction, in short, we don’t read anything, it was a table, now it’s a section. roma, what do you read before a performance? now before all speeches you must read the laws of the russian federation. and the criminal code just in case. what do you read before a performance? composition of dumplings. fine. now you, your question, please. i thought, but it is accepted that a man needs for his life plant a tree, build a house and raise
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a son, and what a woman should do in her life, yes, what a woman should do in her life, find this man, okay, so the section, what a woman should do in her life, don’t interfere. flash royale, what should a woman do in her life, become a figure skater, then a champion, take a walk with me, early, woman, early, so, well, that’s all, yes, yes, so, uh,
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so, flash royale, what’s the difference kvn player from the olympic champion? doping is welcome here. section, what is the difference between an olympic champion and a kvn player? well, the olympic champion is unlikely to appreciate the post-offers. table: what is the difference between a kvn player and an olympic champion? we drink before competitions, and you drink after, it’s not a fact. flash
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royale, what is the difference between the olympic champion and kvenchik. you don’t thank the governor of the rostov region, vasily yuryevich golubev. thank you, i think that's all. please, yes, hello, hello everyone, but the fact is that today is my first time on the jury, this is my debut, the question will be: what do i need to do to become a permanent member of the jury? flash royale, look, competition within the team, what do i need to do to become a permanent member of the jury, gardon knows him. rudn team, what do i need to do to become a permanent member of the jury? to become the general director of
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channel one, what do i need to do to become a permanent member of the jury? you are in the place of yuli gusman, you are here for a long time, that’s all. that's it, the next question, konstantin lyulovich, please, you know, you probably noticed that the program “fashionable verdict” has returned to the airwaves with new presenters, no matter what old programs with what new presenters have you brought back to the air of the first channel, flash royale, konstantin lvovich, please, we can ask you to repeat it, although of course i can do it for you as a presenter. what old programs with new hosts would you return to the air? hacienda
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is led by guf. what old programs with new hosts would you return to the air? matador? or is it just you and me who remember? and who is the presenter? permanent presenter, but i didn’t say anything about new presenters. the question was, old programs with new presenters? well what are you old? what old programs with new hosts would you bring back to air? let's bring back the evening urgant and with the old presenter. that's it, the jury's warm-up is over. thank you very much to the teams. so, the grades for
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the warm-up competition with the jury. kvn team. table. if you're ready. the table is chulym. 3 3 4 4 4. 3.6 points, the sum for two competitions is 7.4 points. section. synergy university, moscow. spread four.
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please show the jury's warm-up scores to this team: five five five five five, exactly five points, a total of 9.8 for the two competitions points. thank you very much, teams, go, get ready, applause from the audience, please, a little more important information. the kvn section team thanks synergy university, represented by the president of synergy corporation vadim georgievich lobov, as well as the rector of synergy university artyom igorevich vasiliev. luchik konstantin eroshenko was detained in africa and immediately transported to the united states. serious torture of not sleeping
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without water, beating and russian citizens’ organs were literally stolen, it’s impossible to believe this, we live in the 21st century, they were addressed to me there are a lot of loud statements, all these accusations were pure lies. kostya, such a strong man, i don’t know how he managed to pull himself together, well, in general , he calmed me down, they let the prosecutor’s office employee into the room of the side assessors, which no one has the right to enter. when the personal assessors came out, one young girl gave herself away, who began to cry at the moment when her father was convicted, russian pilot yaroshenko, goodby america, premiere, tomorrow at the first, at the entrance to he made a promise to the throne, with me everything would be like with my grandmother, catherine the great did not hide her desire to transfer the throne
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to her eldest grandson alexander, bypassing her unloved son. pavel petrovich. but it turned out differently. the future emperor joined the conspiracy against paul. so the shadow of parricide will haunt him until his last day. he will spend a quarter of a century on the throne and will go down in history as the blessed alexander, reformer, favorite of the people, savior of the fatherland. banoparte's victorious march across europe was steadily bringing the clash with russia closer. therefore, the central event of alexander’s reign will be his confrontation. with napoleon, he prepared not only the army for war; the russian secret mission in paris organized by alexander was so successful that the emperor regularly received detailed reports about napoleon’s plans. when the invasion of russia by the french army began in june 1812, alexander called everyone into the ranks of the russian army to defend the fatherland and
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freedom. empire, alexander i. premiere on russia day on the first. third competition for today - the stem competition is a traditional kven competition, which is based on the principle. very rich people try not to stand out so as not to attract attention to themselves. so, an ordinary train moscow-lipetsk. so once again the volatility of ugecoin is high, let’s transfer half of it to cash, and then we’ll look at the market, i say, we’ll transfer half to cash, and then around the market, well,
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if only there was hot water, men, maybe you should go to your place go up the top shelf, what the heck did you use to buy the two bottom seats, i'm doing a script, but what is a decentralized payment system? it’s clear, if you don’t want to, don’t tell me, listen, but you have a computer, and you have this site there, which, and i’m a bastard, government services, uh-huh, help me attach this, otherwise i’m already an eater , well, i can’t do it without a computer, if i help you, you ’ll leave me alone, i promise, i’ll climb onto the top bunk and sleep until four o’clock, oh , it’s going to lipetsk, and i’m fast asleep, so enter, don’t peek, you don’t needed, i dreamed about yours, yeah, everyone needs it, but you don’t need it, okay, knock, i'm going to go to the restaurant carriage, this
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guy should be in the compartment, go check, knock-knock-knock, excuse me, it's so noisy in the next compartment, can i sit here with you, wow, these are bonuses from russian railways , sit down, of course, now i’m just going to get some things, he doesn’t look like a crypto-billionaire, all crypto-billionaires don’t look like crypto-billionaires, he’s red-haired, with glasses, unpleasant, to the max, that’s it, that’s him, take this, make him do one take a sip, and then we’ll burst in, here i am, you’re the one who went for things, well done, you take only the most valuable things on the road, and are you traveling completely alone, me? yes, i, well, what ’s his name, i specially bought myself two lower places so that it would be convenient to work, here i have a computer, there i have money, by the way, i
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also bought myself an upper shelf, but this is so, for purses. wow, what do you do? driven by smart men, this is a decentralized payment system based on blockchain technology, wow, how i want it, it’s so difficult, i can’t figure it out without a bottle, a beautiful woman herself came to my compartment and offered me a drink, why did i sniff this before i didn’t attach it, let’s get acquainted. interesting taste, not, okay, well, how do you
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feel, nothing paralyzed you, by chance, no, on the contrary, everything even moved somehow, listen, maybe you and i, as they say, will take a sheet and cover this one the bottom shelf and... finally, great job, then it’s up to us, we have 15 minutes faster, what are you doing here, who are you, a conductor, a lottery, well, no, no, rest, wait a minute, you gave in too quickly for the conductor, redhead with glasses, unpleasant, that's him, great, send the money, uh, come on, move away from him, you were paralyzed, and i got myself 13 vaccinations against covid, my body is now completely unpredictable, let him go, i don’t want
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to die, especially since i was dreaming, but calm down, this is an ordinary cardboard, not an ordinary one , but laminated, why, that’s it, e, can i go? yes, go , wow, i dreamed about russian culture, we must preserve it, someday it will save us, listen, good words, maybe we can wash this matter, but you will be paralyzed again, i know, the section, thank you,
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for the last time, but came to his defense another environmental activist, animals need a home, foreman, stinking gnome, let's try to interview her, tell me what you are trying to achieve with your protest, i'm protecting nature, motherfucker, oh, oh, that is, mother nature, motherfucker, who will build a taste fork here , i’ll put him on a pitchfork, the situation is getting more complicated,
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the ramp is already moving towards the scene of events, so you came here, you came from here, we already have a brigade there that is idle, that we’re tired of rolling around in a bucket out of boredom, that’s it, my boss will talk to you now , why is the construction site standing, remove it, remove it, squirrel rapist, killer of martens, uh, hear me, don’t film it, what kind of tv channel is this, tvc, don’t care. rent, girl, let's come to an agreement with you, you leave here, and we'll give you an apartment from the peak, don't threaten me, i know you, you 'll kill three animals now and there will be more skins than on the patricks, i won't leave, i declare.
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documents, what kind of circus are you organizing here, you can work normally, this old stump is bothering us all, in fact he is the leader of the revolution, or was that not just a metaphor, really, let’s load it, if you love animals, then you’ll like it monkey, ecology, damn it, aren’t you even afraid of azon holes? i’m afraid of holes in my trouser pockets, although my trousers are fine.
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it turns out there are ozone holes, it turns out, i’m afraid, well, that’s all, dear tv viewers, the mayor of the city arrived at the scene of the incident, why did you fly in by helicopter, so they banned driving foreign cars, and you try to ban the k52 black alligator. by the way, while you are here, tell us what happened to our city hospital. sold it to hell, why, you're stupid, they say people died there, so for a stupid sheep arranged everything here, a stupid sheep can only be born from a ram, just what dad didn’t expect, no, tell me, what is this all for, because before... there was a forest here,
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this stump was a tree, on it there was a swing hanging, here you proposed to mom, over there, you see, a drunk construction worker is peeing, uh-huh, there you taught me to ride a bike, fell, just like i did then, and then you became mayor completely forgot about me, dad, because i’m boring ... i will cancel the construction, and for my sake you will lose 3 billion, for me it’s pennies. just what you won't do it for the sake of your family. the father listened to his daughter and stopped the construction, because this year was the year of the family. but in 2025 construction continued.
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the kvn teams, the rudny team thanks the leadership of the russian peoples' friendship university named after patrice lumunba, represented by the rector oleg aleksandrovich yastrebov, the president of the rudny vladimir mikhailovich filippov and the head of the kvn in rudny vladislav evgenevich zelentsov for their help in preparing for the game. stem continues, the third performance on this stage by the kvn team stolik. imagine chulym a couple in love in the morning, here we
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are, here is my house, wow, this is like siding, it turns out, you’re rich, you have no taste, stop chatting, let’s go already. inside, come in, hello, you said, there’s no one here, i went, wait, this is my grandfather, and he’s sleeping like that, he’s just sleeping, let’s go, why is he sleeping, sitting with his eyes open, well, yes, he’s just earlier i worked as a truck driver on a truck, so i learned to sleep so that the goys wouldn’t stop me, solbon, well, maybe we’d better go to me, but no, you have a dog, and i can’t when someone looks, what about you? well, he’s sleeping, listen, especially since it won’t be long, you and i will soon move to moscow. solbon, what a city moscow is, there are people like me with all the teeth, there’s a whole city, here i’m the only one. listen, maybe it
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's time for me to connect to your wi-fi? well, you know, there’s somehow a lack of romantic atmosphere here. can we turn on some music? there is a city that i see. he’s the one who snores so musically, don’t pay attention, listen, maybe you’d better go and pour us some tea, come on, come on, listen, grandfather, you’re not sleeping, no, listen, grandfather, you will i’m not bothering you with any rubber boat, i understand, you love her, yes, then there’s still spinning, that i’ll just ride on vodka, that’s it, sleep, sleep as you slept, are you salbon, the tea is ready, where are the cups, cups, so, i’ll go and bring the most beautiful sideboards, someone should drink from them someday, grandpa, grandpa, wow, how
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cheap the buckwheat is, and when i clean the fish, i immediately throw out the milk, and homemade is worse than store-bought, and it’s true that it sleeps , well, he sleeps like an old baby, well, listen, dasha, maybe it’s time for you to let russia in olympics, solbon, well, maybe we’ll at least have some tea, okay, let’s have a drink, he’s not sleeping, yes, it’s quiet, you’ll wake him up, he’s just tossing and turning in his sleep, because he’s not that... he’s dreaming of a boat with a spinning rod, but also trailer to the field, you see, it’s sleeping, well, it seems like it’s really sleeping, okay, i’m taking a shower, finally, come on, i’m home, grandma, damn it, where did you come from here, in short, there’s no time to explain, come here ,
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sit next to your grandfather, be silent and just pretend as if you are sleeping with your eyes open, please, what, listen, grandma, if you don’t fall asleep now, i’ll take you with the old boat i’ll drown, “salbon, are you kidding me, now there are two of them, grandma just fell asleep, and this is who, where, there’s no one there, well, there’s a guy in a hat, this can’t be, only his uncle, vanya, walked like that, but you can’t see there." because he died a year ago, god, i died, i died of happiness, because i promised to buy him a can of beer, solbon, well, that’s enough, that’s why? you are constantly deceiving me, i don’t understand how you found out, but listen, i’m just
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afraid to tell the truth, that i’m an ordinary chulym kid who has nothing, i live in one at home with my grandparents, i don’t even have anything to brag about to you, solbon, well , you see, telling the truth is not so scary, yes, listen, maybe we ’ll get married then? we’ll have five children and live in this house with our grandparents, are you serious, the little wine is floating along the night water, i’m standing alone on the shore, i see the reflection of my dream, and finally, the final theme for today will be shown to us by the kvn team. royal flush rostov-nadon welcome everyone
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, hello, i'm nikolai gogol, don't be surprised that you see me, because my personality is shrouded in mysticism, i asked the guys to write two themes, the second to burn, one of them is the auditor, the second is the disgusting eight, and which one of them was burned, you decide? chapter first. tavern. this city is mired in nepotism, bribes and debauchery. it's nice that my efforts weren't in vain. fathers. yes, everyone is here, even the priests. it's time for me to serve. don't anger your boss. amos fedorovich, and you keep drinking. aren't you afraid for your liver? i'm a judge, i like to plant. and here is the prostitute marfa, i’m not a prostitute, you work as a call girl, i just work in the bell tower, you love
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domestic violence, i don’t, but i can see in your eyes that you do, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, the auditor is coming to see us, and so, urgently, two bottles of vodka and a lot of beer, why, and what are you going to tell me to do the accounting department for dry eating, so what... osip, you municipal degenerate, you are the worst zochy i have ever seen, you haven’t completed the church, what are you saying, fear god, there’s nowhere like that , but we built a brothel, and this was not in the plan, we are working proactively, and i, as a policeman, tell you, we have the most modern city, we are the first to be electrocuted, seriously? yes, we are taking a chair with a prisoner out into the street in a thunderstorm, and you are a terrible mayor, what
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we have brought our city to, this is what these men on stakes are, a call center, gentlemen, i know what to do so that the auditor likes everything, here is a bribe 300 rub. do you think the auditors will be interested in these 200 rubles? yes, i think these 100 rubles will not interest him in any way, why? is this an elastic band for money? let's just meet the auditor as expected, bring bread and salt, they say he's from st. petersburg, well, take the bread, wait, what if the auditor is one of us? but what if there is more than one auditor? what if neither of us is an auditor? well, we need to figure out who?
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but i’m not afraid of the auditor, i have a reliable patron, it’s true what they say, that you have a letter from the tsar, yes, i corresponded with nicholas i, read it, no, i don’t know how, come on, there are just two birds drawn here, everything is correct , two ticks, it means it’s been read, idiot, why are you so calm, and i copied everything to my wife, the diagram, you have to remember, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, the auditor is already close, chapter three, what should we do,
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the main thing is not to panic, who is panicking here, i adore you, gentlemen, the auditor has arrived, i have arrived.
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so, did i finish the game? knows, he just knows everything, you are a prostitute, you are a judge, this policeman, that’s it, we’re not playing mafia today, i’ll send you to prison, you didn’t finish it, there’s a hateful eight in this room now, but there are seven of us. why don’t you consider me to be a person? put your money here. well, they imprisoned everyone except the mayor, because he rewrote everything in wife of five children. yes, large families are great. well, we showed you what kind
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of person you shouldn’t be in 1840. the second year, it turns out that people don’t change, you see, it’s pointless to educate people at 30 years old, this should be done from childhood, perhaps then gogol’s book the auditor will move from the comedy section to fantasy section, we're done, what about you? so what?
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4 5 4 4 4 4.2 points and the total score for three competitions is 12.4 points. team ruden. 4 4 4 4 5. 4.2 points and the total score for three competitions is
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12.8 points. firstly, you will have a meeting of graduates in city ​​of yekaterinburg, already traditionally, and the composition, i promise you, is expected to be very interesting, then we will see a traditional music festival in svetlogorsk, this will be the tenth anniversary festival in svetlogorsk, and finally, the summer cup, which this year will be played on the island
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of sakhalin, by the way, one of the participants in this game will be the kvn flash royale team. we'll watch three chords, new season, tomorrow after the evening news. yes, my russia will say yes, and we are united forever, like the sun, air and water, all together, the most russian hip they will wash away the sad soul, and let the heart ache for those whom i do not ask, but not, breathe and believe the wounded heart, this is my fight, to the last. my pain is bad, even if my pain is bad, until the scolding goes away, the heart is beating, 20 years in our chest there is an eternal memory, i am
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in my hands, i am going to the end, i am russian, a shaman, i am... russian, on russia day on the first . well, the culmination of the game, the last chance for teams to break into the list of semi-finalists, a musical number competition, teams must show something musical or talk about music. meet the kvn team, royal flush, rostov-nadon on this stage. lately, creativity has been tested by more and more authorities.
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so, to the music artist approval bureau. why can't you say the word sprats? you are also punished, go to dubai. next. boys, boys, boys, boys, boys, this is sexism, not a word about girls, i’m actually a feminist, the village closed its mouth, sorry. yes, add more respect to women, go, hello, that means, when
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you like one of the songs, you can directly applaud, and you you love me, yeah, and you’ll be with me, yeah, and what are you saying, yeah, well, there’s still one like that. on this gray, boring evening , cherchel suddenly died at instan, i agree, osteopath, you pressed me, but this is definitely a plus, yes, relevant for the 19th century, i look after her, and this is afanas and fed. he spread the word with this, and there is also a song about the georgian parliament, although this is of course a hackneyed topic, goodbye, the next one,
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girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, well, this is some kind of woman’s song, redo it, who are you ? i'm a rapper no right away, well, i’m russian, start, i’m against same-sex marriage, naked marriages are concluded by fools, they’ve plundered the country, poor
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luxembourg, everything on tv is lying, we live much better, everything is going according to plan, everything is going according to plan. gays, this is very bad, straight people are very good, i would hug you. all the straight guys, i would kiss them all right here right now, in a friendly way, in a friendly way, of course, and who is this with you, the owner of the guitar, get lost, everything is going according to plan, let me back in, i’ve
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run out of money. okay, go to the turtleneck department. hurray, i'm russian again. next. well, there’s not a single extra word, but there’s so much meaning, go ahead, who are you?
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i came up with it, but i want to fly like pikachu above the ground to control your committee, i’m going to fly one more time, this is terrible, this is great, this is terrible, great, we approve! yes, artists don’t always do something well, but why is it that their work is often assessed by people in whom there is no creativity, and because of this,
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creativity began to disappear. and what kind of creativity is good or not, it really doesn’t matter, the main thing is that it is honest and from the heart, while i ’m burning in the atmosphere like ashes, you pull i’m wooing you, there’s no place for me next to you, i know that, i’m avoiding you, i ’m avoiding you.
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hello, my name is sasha, we are no longer friends, seriously, a balalaika player, well, no, of course, a damn balalaika, it would be better if you never existed at all, where, how, where are you going to buy a new balalaika, what is a balalaika, and what is it, you why are you kidding me, here’s the song, i’m
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... playing the saxophone, it’s the most russian instrument, what the hell is this? alice, show me the balalaika, you probably wanted to say balashikha, but why? alice, play a song from the film ivan vasilyevich is changing his profession. happiness suddenly, go crazy, i found myself in... there is kefir, there is traditional mojito, mojito, well, who likes what, and you have dumplings, what kind of dumplings, what kind of dumplings, well, rolled pig into lumps like that collect, put into dough in boiling water, ugh, dear
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guests of our establishment, today a group of people is performing for you, i’ll come out. at night, at night in the field, we will go on horseback, this is lyuba, lyuba sings about russia, we have about russia, from the wolves, and to elisse, mine. you're scattered from the volga, this is some kind of nonsense, i mean, i mean nonsense,
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actually we are the president's favorite group, well at least some stability, so, listen, i urgently need a drink, do you have vodka, well, vodka is when water and alcohol are happy together. what do russians drink? russians? russians don't drink at all, do they? and under what? okay, when you feel bad, what do you drink? antibiotics? when you take antibiotics, you can’t, what? skip it, no, this world has definitely gone crazy, i have to fix everything, i’ll make a new balalaika and change this world! wow, they didn't even steal it! it turns out, karabeyniks, sudarushka, and even down the volga, all these hits are now mine, i i’ll be moderately rich, well, let’s check,
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i don’t know what it was, but for some reason i want to go up to a birch tree, and... hug it, stab it and drink from it, and then i realized that we are the greatest nation, like you understand this, i’m going to break you in, no, no, i also understand, excuse me, waiter, purely theoretically, you can set the table on fire, why? i need... shki, of course, russian culture is not only the balalaika, it is literature, music, and cinema, but it is the balalaika that connects all this, and cinema, and cinema,
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i have a house, but i don’t have the keys, i have the sun, but it is among the clouds, i look at... there are real people nearby, and i see how the cloud is cut by the sun of dreams, i believe that culture cannot be canceled, and it will find a way in people’s hearts, and for culture, it is expensive in the channel of the country, there is a place for a step forward, section, thank you.
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well, hello friends, just yesterday we watched how a guy from the village slept with three gypsies, but this boredom is left behind, today in the studio there is a great love story, studio alexander gordon and yulia boranovskaya, me. i am the ex-wife of a former football player, and i married a twenty-year-old girl, a pensioner, we will discuss issues of family values. today we have a crazy episode, so crazy
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that even i with hair, i’d rather have a crane in my hands than the breasts of someone else’s woman, that’s what our heroine thinks, i want to break up with my boyfriend, god, i don’t give a fuck, but we need ratings, tell me , how did it all happen? everything went as always, except for one detail, i raised my eyes and realized that in front of me was my hero, everything was going well, you immediately became my children’s stepfather, but one day
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you meanly slept with an old mop, you asshole, you old bastard, thank you, that i’m in this program, we don’t forget about biden for a second, well, our show continues, and now let’s listen to what the heroine’s husband says about me, she’ll tell you, all our problems are because of her, oh, you’re getting drunk. you ferment and conjure, yes, yes, you just salivate every day, vodka beer, alcohol does not freeze, loves to drink more than children, yes, you love drinking so much that you even named your daughter isabella, coincidentally, yeah, our youngest zhatets goose, we we could end there, but the studio also has children, like children you
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live with your mother and father, everything is fine, but in we go to school barefoot, they are always ready to give us joy, thanks to mom for teaching us how to steal, how to steal. well, at least i’m somehow developing my children, now i only have two questions in my head: why do they sell food at the post office, and have you ever cheated on your husband, but let’s listen to what your neighbor has to say about this, you were lying naked in in the snowdrift, i opened my soul for the pate, in the yard and in the garage, i
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was warmed by the warmth, i was just lonely, but everyone knows your melody of love, it’s amazing, it’s amazing that they have a violin, and comfort drunks usually have a piano at home. confess, my son or yevony? yes, i myself thought that yevon turned out not to be yevon, meet yevon, now my last moment has come, he stood up for love, fought for it, shed his blood and... now to raise children and pay the mortgage
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alone, well, what a hero he is, death in the studio, as usual, you died, who will leave me beatings, with whom to go to the slaughter, we can’t do anything... here only a gesture of love will help, i understood everything, i gathered anyone into a fist, this is love forever, forever loves her, he she loves him deeply, she loves him very much, your love has resurrected me, you know, you and i have been together for 3 years, we have seven children. and having soaked
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the liver, you know what i thought, marry me, i agree. you know, if you look at many things from a different angle, they take on a different meaning, so the men’s and women’s program is actually about love, team ruden, thank you, people! you don’t need to read 200 volumes about russia, attend one concert of the berezka ensemble. the spectators keep saying, well, that’s how they are, they don’t walk, they float. it's always a mystery, and it's yours secret. and this secret is not revealed.
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folk character dance in the form in which we teach is not taught anywhere in the world. birch, beauty in russian, tomorrow is on the first day, history is being made in st. petersburg, here it dies, tomorrow everything will change, tell
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trubetskoy, if he doesn’t make up his mind, we will carry it ourselves, in france aristocrats were hanged from lanterns. if it’s like in france, then everyone present here hangs, they won’t dare shoot at us, we haven’t shed a drop of their vile blood, we are a match that will light everything up and burn itself out. union of salvation film premiere on russia day the first final performance for today is a musical number on this stage, the kvn team table chulym friends.
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there was a man standing on the mountain, he was praying to god, because in chulym the store, the water supply, had disappeared. covered the city in an instant with a violet darkness , filling the streets with women with packages , the marketplace went through everyone like a hurricane, but they didn’t
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carry that much even to the champion dasha, well, where are you going so much? well, this is how you do it, you have all your hands full, your mother is on her knees, suffering humiliation, asking her son to download, a miracle app, and what kind of things are in stock i didn’t come, i saw how the holy father collected alkadil. “salvon, what’s wrong with your finger? what, what? i’m the one who completely finished filling your basket. and in chuliya, the local homeless man became the richest, no, he didn’t get rich, he’s just unmarried, the husband forgot his wife’s order in the fitting
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room, i came home without him, tomorrow i’ll mention it. and you’re the founder of the company, tatyana bakalchuk? yes, it’s me, i came to thank you personally, you just regularly spend 3,000 rubles on something for your husband? well , yes, i recently bought him a t-shirt. with a wolf and how is he, he feels very good, good, dasha, this is good, eska, what are you spending my money on, only on the most necessary things, yeah, a curling iron, a comb for a cat , a drinking bowl, fins, beads, a vacuum cleaner, a card fork.
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let go, let go, salbun, where are you dragging me, to your mother, why, i have a return, the people of the marketplace were crushed, and exhaustion, and the men decided to destroy, only the store was closed, i didn’t go out, i couldn’t even help, new code, new ...yes, he gave me a cool idea from the crowd, you just need to write it, because you suck when it’s straight
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the rating dropped to zero, the marketplace suddenly evaporated, we fought the plague, but we did all this in vain? the women burned in response, red and white. a man stood on the mountain, praying to god again, because
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he had a scooter in his fur, the first one appeared. you're afraid, you're afraid, don't be afraid of me, i won't bother you, don't worry, oh, oh, oh, me!
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the rosatom state corporation has established a special prize for the team that performed best in the jury warm-up competition. humor is an inversion of common sense. so to speak, the smile of reason and today the prize is the smile of reason from rossatom goes to the kvn flash royal team. i ask
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now, before we see the final scores, briefly, to all members of the jury to say a few words about this game. rum, roman pustovalov, please. thank you for this pleasure, to be honest, i am mine, my journey into humor also began with kvna, but of course i gave up before you back in the ural league. i, i decided, i decided that i would go to the big leagues, along simpler paths, but much longer, so, well, listen, but everyone is funny, it’s a pity that the table dispersed only for the final, like this, this was powerful, well, i just wanted to say, even i will watch the men’s women’s then, here’s roman postavala, thank you very much, evgenia medvedeva, zhenya, please, a few
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words, a couple, friends, as always, thank you so much for a great time, flash royale, i'm always for you, i'm not even hiding it, you'll see, but for me today the musical finale was a little out of your level, i wish you great luck, resourcefulness, thank you very much, it was funny, thank you very much, thank you zhenya, yulia boranovskaya, yulechka, this is your first time with us, please share your impressions. guys, thank you very much, it was a great evening, well, it was a little difficult when, to my great regret, one team in the very first numbers was still head and shoulders above, well, well, this is a little difficult, pull yourself up, that’s it ahead, everything will work out , thank you very much, thank you, yul, alexey yagudin, lyosh, please, good evening everyone, thank you, thank you for the evening, i
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haven’t been here for a long time, i miss you, well, today ended with a musical one.
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five points exactly and a total score of four competition 17.8 points, finally, flash royale musical number four.
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we say goodbye, i hope, until the next season, this was the second quarter-final, only the most interesting things are ahead, my name is dmitry krustalyov, see you on channel one, bye! that means,
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that means, in 2024, russia celebrates a special date: 225 years since the birth of pushkin. the most beloved poet for many of our compatriots. when i was little, they read pushkin's fairy tales to me and now that i... have grown up, i read pushkin's fairy tales to my son. to us kalmyks dear because in his novel, the captain's daughter, he used an old kolmyt tale about an eagle and a raven. every phrase, every one.
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second squad, first bus, that's enough, stop it, let's go in, take a selfie? again, come on, and you promised to expand me, no, petrova, i definitely couldn’t promise that, here’s sasha, let sashka expand you, so children, let’s hurry, first squad,
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why are you still going, let’s, let’s, let’s close that's it, see you next year, and more good news, the august heat is starting to subside. in the coming days and is waiting beautiful weather, air temperature will be +20 +22 without precipitation. today the summer season ends in health camps and the following song sounds for all the boys and girls returning home. a solar circle, the sky around, this is a boy’s drawing, he drew it on a piece of paper and signed it
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in the corner, may there always be sunshine, may there always be sky, may there always be a mother, may there always be me, may there always be round, may there always be sky, may there always be mother, may there always be me, yes, who will always be the sun. let it always be heaven, may there always be a mother, may there always be me, yes, hello, viktor yurikovich,
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hello, igor, igor, yes, hello, come in, come in! well, thank you, we discussed the plan for the construction of the village, uh-huh, i understand, i understand, this is the territory of the red sop camp, uh-huh, here we go,
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how many eggs will he bring you? eggs? falcon, and 10:12, two, as we agreed with you, thank you, well, look, it’s warm, water, the birds are needed, of course, that’s right, here. the forest is around, yeah, the birds are afraid of fire, don’t worry, modern technology is great, but it’s better not to joke with fire, and what about friends, right?
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it turns out to be unprofitable for us, i understand, i understand, but what if you can squeeze the eggs in more, squeeze in more, as you imagine tightening the eggs, so i say, expand, where, yes, taste. again you can’t make an omelette,
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here’s the camp, it’s in the way, of course, but you can’t lay it down, it’s not an egg, yes, oh, but you can, like in moscow, renovation, we recognize it as an emergency and, you know, be equal to moscow, this... "this is correct, correct, but still there is not so much money, well, for the reconstruction of the poultry farm, we’ll find funding, then i ’ll get started, where are you, where did you run, why don’t you go to solevi?” “no, but
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why did you undress? so, we don’t need this here, all the best, stop, stop! slow down, we're having lunch, i invite you, we've made a vow again, and when we're going to work, everything is according to plan, in short, tomorrow the equipment will arrive, in a week the field will be there, okay, eh, okay, let's go to lunch,
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red falcon, what are you katyuzh, okay , seriously, the shift is here and the car is yours. so where
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does everyone go? so where did you go? all turtles? did you kill something lower with them? isn't it still him? who? children? seriously? okay, okay, sure? where are you going? excuse me, who are you? and who are you? i’m the director of the camp, and we are special children from all over the region, since i think you’re special, but the camp is actually closed, i mean, where are you here, huh? there,
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guys, follow me, how is it closed forever? wait, we’re here, who sent you here? ministry of social development of the region, experimental group for 40 days, very symbolic, but here everything is falling apart, the camp has been declared an emergency, well, if it is falling apart, which is not the case here in russia it’s falling apart, listen, well, we’re not even equipped for such children, but they will adapt, dear girl, i’m hopeful, i’m igor, it’s very nice, i’m sure that you fought for these vouchers with great difficulty, really with enormous effort, as you say , i collect children all over the region. your beautiful yellow bus to the city and that’s it,
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guys, be careful, we don’t fall. dear igor stanislavich, ministry of social development, experimental
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exclusive session, number of participants - 13 people with different physical levels, mental, mental capabilities, damn it. but i know how to play, how is that?
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bought from a foreigner, but excuse me, please, it’s a cool thing, i’ve been dreaming all my life, dear vladimir vladimirovich, “we are forced to turn to you, the fact is that we arrived at the red falcon camp and ran into each other here, albert gennadovich, pull yourself together, let’s do it again, listen, give me orders, maybe you can help us, but of course, of course, well, here’s another
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thing, so to speak, a report on what happened, just think, it happened, it doesn’t happen to anyone, smile, don’t smile, write down, yes, dear vladimir vladimirovich, i should contact you, are you serious, but what about the video for the president, well, yes, this always works, we have vouchers, i think the public should know, i have an official order from the mayor, about that for him he’ll fly in at the same time, let’s just not touch the mayor, let’s go ahead, let’s do it, so you’re staying, but only for one night.
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welcome to our bank, are you completely crazy or what? everyone is smiling, don’t forget to take your money and card. i won’t forget, i won’t forget, would you like to know about favorable conditions according to our mortgage? i don’t want to, are you a fool or what? do you know how much it costs? are you hitting me on the head? for whom are we doing digitalization throughout the country, are we pushing it, why are you knocking me on the head, viktor rurikovich, where are you from here? everything is in order with the budget, a small problem has arisen, the children have come to the camp,
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they are special, athletes.

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