i give you the moon, let's show the world, yes, of course, we'll try, while she's getting ready to come out to us, let's look at the footage we took at your house, hello guys, welcome to zhanochka's apartment, this is her cozy apartment, we here with mom. we always come only as girls, because the atmosphere here is purely feminine, come on, i’ll show you her concert costumes, although half of them are at our dacha, but today i’ll show you one of her last dresses, when she was in the third month of pregnancy and the most, but he it’s already so old, old, shabby, unfortunately it can’t be restored in any way, but i’m trying my best to save it from the partofin clip. so beautiful, zhanna

loved shoes very much, she had a lot, many, many, many different shoes, in these skates zhanna trained on the ice age, on a tv project, my mother and i, by the way, recently rewatched it, we sat and roared, what she is like we have a smart girl, these are the shoes, but my aunt has them, tell me, someday i’ll grow up to them.

welcome to the apartment, but just straight for the heart, not zhana, she is petite , natasha is strong, then strong, and just say that the boar, although in miami they often confused us and said, and you are twins, zhana always said, yes, we are twins, she loved very much, when she and i dressed the same, especially when she was pregnant, we had the same... shorts only in different colors, the same t-shirts, how many people wrote that i was an aunt, yes, that i had plastic surgery on purpose to look like, i changed my voice on purpose to look like this is some kind of money you find to change, and so, in fact, if you put us together, to be honest, it seems to me that we are completely different, well , different, not different, they all know that they worked together in the brilliant ones, there was such a short period , she took me out for the first time. she introduced me to the public,

let's see how it was, i want to introduce the new member of the brilliant group, this is my younger sister, her name is natasha, natasha frisky, a new member of the brilliant group, you won’t spend the moon, my mother will find out, but everything is clear, where is mom, where is aunty, where is mom, yes, yes, yes, yes, how old is she? 2 years, 2 months.

i think that our big friendly family. well , like every year, well, this year it will be a little, probably wider, because it’s a decade, but we usually set a table in the cemetery this time, this time there will be a lot of people, because many have already told me that we let's come, i really want you to cry today, smile and laugh, remember the good things, we are only good, only good, today we just have time...

this year zhanna frizke would have turned 50 years. thank you for zhanna. thank you, thank you that she was with us, thanks to you, she loved you so much, thank you for remembering.

i’ve gone through all this, there’s just a little bit left. and, probably, in the end, everything will fall into place, when very often everyone asks questions, what will happen, i always say, guys, it will... what will happen, and this cannot be avoided, and it is not you who will decide it, not me, and not him, fate will decide this, i’m dmitry borisov, this is exclusive, see you next saturday, thank you, thank you very much, thank you for memory, because they understand who we are playing with, your friend. you leave in english as your wife, prince. mikhail zadornov has been on stage for more than 30 years and talked to us about the most important things. about you and me. only a russian person, when driving in

the oncoming lane, can get hit backwards. in russian. in the stone age, it turned out, everyone was human. the first people spoke in a language whose carrier was the russian language, about the purpose of russia, the slavic peoples have the greatest mission, just think about it, to preserve life on earth after the end of the world will come, we have collected the most complete collection of the best issues of the legendary satirical writer. tell me, how much can you laugh, and explain. i want to please you with such a small collection, but i will say some introductory words before this collection, i was driving in my car on the radio, they were broadcasting an interview with some film director, and the girl who was interviewing asked him, tell me what you

are filming, he said, with pride, i am filming the young guard, she asked him who would be the director, and he is the producer, excuse me, producer from penthouse, she asks who will be the director, and he answered so proudly: i agreed with one hollywood director, a hollywood director, she is so noticeable even on the radio that she was dumbfounded and asks again: why don’t we have capable directors remove the young guard, he said a brilliant phrase, well, which only, maybe i noticed, only an american hollywood director, he replied, can film a good action, do you represent the young guard action? but as a result of the fact that hollywood has become educator, our thinking has become narrowed, you know, i repeat from concert to concert the same legend, it is ancient, i love ancient wisdom, because when these wisdoms were composed, there was no money, they were composed from

the heart, so it is said , the earth is a living being, and the continents of the country perform the function of the organs of our planet, for example, russia is designated the brain of the earth, russia did not exist, but this is a part. land, which is now under russia , is designated in this legend as the brain of the earth, the american continent - the digestive system, really look at americans, they are all like intestines on legs, that's why i say that we follow the most primitive thing that exists in american life today, that is, we also become intestines on legs, you know, only the russians have such an expression, we live like this , as if there was a flood after us, remember the tsunami, this is very accurate, in the russian language there is esotericism that is not in other languages, well, this was clear from the fairy tales that i read, but look, they tell me:

i fell face-first into the salad, so they showed americans and russians, all americans they said he died, you don’t even need to explain

what it is? they think clearly within the framework, they are not stupid, what americans are stupid was not invented by me, they are parodists of me, we are stupid, that we imitate them, we narrow our thinking, they must live their lives, we must live our lives. so i’m telling you about this so that we don’t become like the middle american class, because we have much more, namely living people. one of our engineers, who works in america, moves from state to state, wrote me an amazing email, i want him called you have a feeling of pride, and this young man wrote to me: “i’m traveling around the states,” you know what i realized over several years. there are many jobs in america, there are many states, but there is only one russia, and one american woman, a teacher in

an american school, told me a case that should simply make you proud of our children, for their intelligence, the first thing she told me is that if at least one russian there is a child or a jewish child in an american school, then the americans, local children, are simply down in comparison with these, i say, well, it’s really so, you and the cities are called downtowns and... she didn’t understand the joke, but it doesn’t matter, i laughed myself and was pleased with the process, but what she told me delighted me, i didn’t even laugh, i asked the problem at the level of our elementary school , asked the class, tell me how many three-wheeled children's bicycles can be assembled if there are 123 small wheels in the warehouse and 62 large wheels, everyone counted something, you know that ours answered not a single one. she even puzzled the teacher, she began to be indignant, why? ready to feel proud, right? she's the same

answered because wheels alone are not enough to assemble a bicycle. i can talk about them all because i was deprived of my visa anyway. they translated my speech. i don’t know how they did it, it’s a rather complicated process, but... well, i also talked about bush, how can you translate, for example, the phrase that after september 11 bush behaves like an authority lowered to the zone, oh, what is he carrying? bush recently said: "i am proud that we are great, but despite all our greatness, we should not brag about greatness my own, but i heard one phrase myself, i started rolling around at the tv, i splattered the screen with homeric saliva." and he said with pride for his people, and ordinary

american people applauded him with pride, he said: only we, the great american people could send a lunar rover to mars, many people think that i’m kidding, that this is not so, and then they come up to me and say: we didn’t believe you, we thought it was a humorous program, but you ’re telling what really is, two of our russian speakers... went from estonia to study in america, they falsified their documents in order to ride the subway for free, and decided to play a joke, but zadornov said that americans are stupid, now we’ll check what they wrote. on fake student ids, birthday on february 30, and they traveled normally for the time being, and one american officer monitoring order in the metro was concerned that something was wrong, he was somehow overgrown with us, he said, show me your id, but please, he got caught,

something grabbed him, he said: excuse me, when were you born, but our guy thinks they’re stupid? says february 30, the americans ask: are you sure, am i sure, the american was not so stupid, he didn’t believe it, he went to the senior officer, they began to study the calendar, not finding february 30, he returned to this boy of ours, to our young man, a teenager and says: where were you born? super, he says: in russia, ready, exactly, exactly, the american gives him his id, says: strange, in america it’s february 30th, no,

well, neighbors, we’ll go together, by the way, where are you going, to equals, oh , i’m also on equal footing. i'm on my way to detain your mayor, for what? he's so insolent, he's already paying his income from bribes. kvn, fourth quarterfinal. watch the time after the program. we hit him, let's call an ambulance. the moscow ambulance welcomes you. if you have burned the palate with alavander rav, press one. cnop gin, a stellar group product, montechoca cognac, a stellar group product, rom castro, a stellar group product, pechora vodka, a

stellar group product, veda vodka, a stellar group product. or what, we need to feed the front, nazar will come back, i won’t be modest anymore, i’m life i won’t give it to you until i separate you, i understand, two shores, the premiere of a multi-part film from monday on the first, a dane recently told a wonderful incident that happened

to him, an american asked a desperately whether the alphabet in denmark is the same as in america, he said yes, latin american... where did he come from, the german said from germany, the american asked, are you german, yes, the american looked at the german carefully and said, but it doesn’t look like you’re from asia, i myself saw an american who asked the frenchman, how is the frenchman arrived... arrived in america, frenchman replied that he was on a plane, the american asked why not by car. the frenchman thought, in fact, did not quite understand how to answer this question, he decided to answer honestly, he said, actually, there is an ocean between us, the american immediately asked the question, without thinking, he said, you dug a tunnel, the frenchman thought again, he said, actually, this

is a tunnel to england, the american said, you should come from england by car. but what our emigrants came up with deserves a nobel prize. immigrants, as a rule, are jews, you know, who left in the seventies, many they are old, they write letters to their homeland in russia, they figured out how to send letters without stamps, well, they don’t want to spend money on stamps. i didn’t immediately understand what they came up with. i don’t know if you’ll figure it out or not, but the point is this, i’d really be for it. the nobel prize, they change the address of the recipient on the envelopes, the sender is put in the mailbox in some places, that’s it, since it’s not clear and i didn’t understand right away, i explain, then go on to... someone applauded, understood, figured it out faster than me, stupid americans postmen take out envelopes, no stamps according to instructions are sent

to the sender, it can’t even occur to them that a person could not come on foot across the ocean, this is... the main country in the world, my dears, why am i talking about them, i don’t want the russians became like the americans, they are good guys, but they are ignorant, illiterate, and a kind ignorant person easily becomes aggressive, they kindly think that iraq should be bombed, an atomic bomb should be dropped on jeroshima, jesus taught a blow to hit the right cheek, substitute the left one, yourself hook from below strike at this time, and we still have, you know what, i made a linguistic observation, i ask you to evaluate it, so that...

which i am proud of, in one film i counted 130 times in an american blockbuster the word ass was uttered, they said: we save our asses 10 times, we save lives, they save the most precious thing they have, when the old russian woman gave the germans milk and didn’t take the money in the village, the germans didn’t understand what was going on, they asked: why doesn’t she take the money? how will i transfer it to them? they have there is no expression from the heart. i told them: they didn’t give me enough. they didn’t give any more, because

capitalists are, in fact, the stingiest people on earth. she said a phrase that made me so proud of our women. i even thought that our men are not hopeless when there are such women in russian villages. she said what money, germans. we are. fought with you, only our people are capable of this, who still do something from the heart in this world, only we still have young people who write poetry from the heart and for the soul, not for money, we still have young people who seduce a girl, retell to her the poems of tsvetaeva and mendelshtam in their own words, and if you forgot something, then write it down. in our restaurant , lovers do not each pay for themselves, they are embarrassed, we do not draw up marriage

contracts, the girl accepts gifts and flowers from the young man, not considering herself legally obligated to him. we have not yet legalized the sensual life of existence, our students in the hostel do not rent pots to each other, only in russian in the world.' v kvn is only in russian, which means that only we have so many cheerful, witty, young people, one quick- thinking thinker, only here a young man can bring a girl home late at night and start retelling her thermodynamics textbook with all passion, only he votes with applause for only our girl can... fall in love with him after his passionate monologue about the heat death of the universe, we still have, there are girls who are turned on, excuse the frank word, turned on by

the two-letter male organ, the mind that thought, everyone thought, because the conscience of russia, the conscience of russia has always been not kings or ministers, but pushkin, tolstoy, chekhov, dostoevsky, we are still commemorating. we can’t have theater school students cover a monument with pancakes on maslenitsa, no one in the world will do that, only we give books for birthdays, only we have a bookstore on tverskaya, this is not the case in the world. the bookstore is open until one in the morning, fit guys, between the restaurant and the casino, they are looking to read now

somehow. our parents don’t charge their children rent for living in their house after they turn 16, because we have children, not heirs, only our parents take care of the children until they retire, or even after that, if an unexpected guest comes to one of you, you will not keep him in the hallway, finding out why he came without an invitation, only ours... women bake pies when guests arrive, only our women produce culinary masterpieces of what was lying around in the refrigerators, only ours they will feed him to the fullest, without asking him if he wants to eat, only ours trudge from six-acre vegetable gardens, they come from their gardens with pleasure and peel the potatoes themselves, in the west they are sure that carrots grow immediately peeled and

cut. the police will stop him, he will say: guys, i ’m going from a woman, and he’ll tell you, go, this is a sacred thing, but next time don’t get caught, my mail is very serious, 87 thousand unread letters as of today, so if someone tells me wrote and i didn’t answer, don’t oblige me, i won’t have time to do this in my life, judging by

everything. and recently i received a letter from a woman, apparently of my generation, i liked it so much that i decided to retell it to you, she writes about how she studied in the thirties of soviet power at the rapfak, for the workers of the faculty there were organizational exercises and the teacher gave them the following exercise , all the young people say in unison, there is no god, there is no god, they all say in unison, there is no god, there is no god, they say, well done, and now together we will show god the fig fig. the west will never digitize us, they will not be able to digitize us, we have a different energy of thinking, she is not in the vector, i have said this many times, a man quarreled with his wife, i begin to tell you very russian stories, which are only possible in our country, i quarreled with my wife, i was terribly happy, only ours can be happy, especially at night , she kicked him out of the house, he was so happy, called his friends, said, let 's have a drink, that's it, where in my car, it's standing on the sidewalk, let's go to the car, drink, sit down,

vodka... when they laugh at you, you remember me, okay, that’s how they remembered him, because they wrote such a cart that they were catching up with him, he left at high speed, they painted themselves as heroes, can you imagine what the kotayka had in court, if he had a certificate that there was no engine in the car at that time, he was on the bulkhead there is a certificate from the same goyim department that... “the west will never

bring us to a common denominator with it, because we have different people, at the checkout, women, the cashier is a woman, a man comes up, she is missing 10, 10 rub, she says: bring it tomorrow, in the west no one will say that, never, and he says: and if i forget, she says, you won’t forget, they bargain in the opposite direction, completely not in the western way, and he says, suddenly, she says, you won’t forget, so she says a phrase, he asks why, like this maybe a phrase?" "only a russian woman, you won’t forget, you’ll dream of me, and so that you can see her, and never forget, it’s kamenogorsk, 45° below zero, school classes have been canceled, from the first to the eleventh grade, only people go on the bus adults, suddenly a boy comes in, apparently a first grader, and says to him: boy, where are you going? classes from the first to the eleventh grade were cancelled, he says: and i’m studying in the zero. here's a full

trolleybus, a crowd on the bottom step of the... minibus taxi, a woman like that, in the second half of her prime, such a curvaceous figure, such a curvaceous one, they saw this snow woman crawling out of a pan of dough in the spring, with melted sides, trying to fit into

the seat next to her driver nothing works, the driver looked and looked , the woman says, you’re no longer a cat, if the head fits through, it doesn’t mean the rest will fit in. our energy is especially visible when ours are in the west, i was skiing in austria, at the same time a team of siberian oil workers was in vienna, the guys were fermenting for three weeks, the last day before leaving they found out that there are alps nearby, they say, oh, we have one day, but what are they doing there in the alps? he says they are skiing. oh, we should learn to ski. we hired a bus, 5:00 in the morning, we went, it was a long drive, we started fermenting at 6. warm-up is necessary before training.

we fell asleep at 7:00, woke up at 9, alps, for the beauty of nature. and they tell the german guide: let’s go to the store to buy equipment. well, he doesn't know that much. to laugh, like you are our language, i brought them to the store and the store closed after 10 minutes, ours began to do everything with our energy, the first thing they asked was the german woman, this is on the walls, who is on the posters, she says, these are the world champions sent, it’s all the same for us, that it’s quick to get here on them, and you rode when not, but we have half a day, let’s go quickly, but they say, maybe you can rent, don’t choke, it’s a fungus, what are you talking about, come on everything that is on the champions, now we will learn quickly, ours have begun to come to terms with our energy... the fermentation there stinks, but the germans are ready to endure

the fermentation for 2 weeks, it’s as if everything is cabbage, and it stinks as long as there is profit. at the end she gave them ski boots, she said: carry them in your hands, because this is the first time you’ll go, they say: we’ll go in boots, have you ever seen falling ski boots? a german comes and picks up our guys like this, she asks, are you leading us down a steep descent, she says, it’s steep, well he was smart enough to move the curtains away, anyway the lift stopped 17 times, ours can’t sit still for 3 minutes, they start catching each other, pushing each other with a stick, you know, until it falls, an emergency, because we know that we will catch up, it’s

they who stop the lift, it’s not for us to pull ourselves up by our teeth, there will be complete order, finally, somehow we were brought to the top of the mountain, ours with a cry, that’s how i would say, gay guys, without even thinking about... so every 10 minutes on the computer, waters the frying pan and coriander, ardor, until

ours arrive, they just say hello to me they said that there was not even a memory of coriander left, it wasn’t even a fume, it was carbon monoxide. our people immediately said that the barrel was spinning slowly, it was all broken, listen, well, i admire the energy of the slavic people, they are sitting! to study, he first thinks, look

how a western man enters the door, he knocks on the door, then waits, they tell him, come in, he comes in, ours never waits for an answer, he knocks immediately enters, he has no time, i say why you came in, he says, well, i knocked, i say, well, i didn’t answer you, but i knocked, he said, our man and the german went camping in latvia, where i often go, bought mosquito repellents, ours, our man generally lives as if after...

fed squirrels in the park, fortune teller from monday on the first, let's wait and see, this is normal in general, that's it, don't touch my mother, don't touch, cognac, old barrel, product of the stellar group. borbon stersman is a product of the stellar

group. whiskey manmencher product. stellar group. cognac. product of steller group. i recently realized why we live so unsettled. in general, what is the end of the world, think about it, these are explosions, earthquakes, dirt, mud,

impassability, the idea is clear, there will be garbage everywhere, heating, gas, electricity, everything will turn off, everything, that is, in almost many of our cities they will not even notice the coming of this end of the world, only we can eat it what to eat, for example, go to the forest to eat. in the west, they don’t eat mushrooms, they think that since it grows on the ground, it means dirt, like dirt, dirt doesn’t exist for free, scientists actually discovered that we have a very rare microbe inside us, thanks to this microbe, we have any dirt inside sterilized, only we will survive the end of the world, what will they do without medicines, without pharmacies, in our country most of the population have not used any medicines or doctors for a long time, a stye has appeared under the eye, the first thing is where to go to the doctor, no, to the neighbor? frolovna, what should i do? yes, honey, spit

in your own eye. and it works. i personally read useful advice from russian healers in the book. no one in the west would think of such useful advice. if you have a headache, are you ready? lay on the bed, take it, are you ready? cat or raccoon? only a russian can think of this. put it on your head and lie there until the animal, attention, begins to sweep your head with its tail, in the west they are cowards and weaklings in comparison. even the message scares them that it will snow tomorrow, this, this, this is their good reason, they won’t go to work tomorrow, so we don’t need to be afraid of them, if the chaos starts, we won’t even need nuclear weapons, we’ll throw snowballs at them, mikhail

nikolaevich, you cannot explain if there is any connection between the russian root ber the name of the city in germany is berlin, thank you. oh, what an advanced viewer, you know, lately, i’ll start from afar, okay, you can, andrey, the fact is that i really traveled a lot, when i travel, even on tour, suddenly some moments began to open up to me connected with our history, and i thought it was so interesting, and when i realized that history was different, not the one that was presented to us not only in soviet times, but in tsarist times, and not the same history as it is presented now , i really wanted to be with people to share this in order to intrigue you, i ’ll tell you, i was at the excavations, cities stood on our territory, 20 thousand people lived in them, 6.00 bc, 3,500 years remained before the construction of the pyramids, and we

had cities, and there were no cities there, slavic lands, future swedes. ancestors 500 years before it came to europe in greece, then you know the stone henge on the kola peninsula of these stonehenges at every step, by the way, but just no one pays attention to it, yes, i was interested, i’m everywhere went, and naturally along the way, the so-called... we ourselves came up with this word for the archeology of the russian language, because i’m not a scientific person, so i’m so imaginative, i call it the fantasy of a tired romantic, just like that, and no one will find fault, well, the comedian has fantasized everything , so they laughed and parted ways, but nevertheless, it turned out the following, now i will say something for which i

will be accused and anathematized, in the stone age, it turned out that people, the first humans, spoke a language whose native speaker was the russian language, that is, not only russian, of course, belarusian, ukrainian, in general, a group of slavic languages, why did they remain native speakers, and they remained on this territory where life began, in the russian language such secrets are hidden in the words that show us how speech was formed, in general, speech was formed, because no one knows, where does the chair, the table come from, andrey asked a question, very... interesting, where does the word berlin come from? just imagine an ancient man, when there were no words, there were atoms, there are sounds, and there are atoms, but what are sounds? quantum physicists tell me: you are right, the strongest sound, b, the sound wave went, and o -

i limit it, it is a unifying sound, o, and d, it sets a boundary, god, this is only in russian . there is a correspondence even to wave processes, bo - this action was, it meant in the ancient world, but there were other syllables, for example, br, br, this is scary, our ancestors called the spirit of the raging elements ber, in man ber played out, and was associated with animals everything, so ber was associated. with whom, of course, with a bear, my friends, with a connecting rod, therefore, what is a lying ber, a den, a lying ber, and a den they scoured the field behind a tree so that the snow would have something to cling to, and the tree was called

birch, and later birch, and so it turned out, my friends, the most lair-filled place in the world, where there was the most...

and if not for the year 1941 we couldn’t contain it, it would have continued to spill out. you look at how much interesting information is contained in one word, what is the word back, who will decipher it? well done, what to sleep on? look, we say glory, we don’t know it. what's the word for back in english? what about the ridge?

to drink is from the word blood, gold is evil. andrey, you asked a question, and i was carried away,

because i was bursting, i couldn’t, i couldn’t be silent any longer. and a whole collection of letters from teachers has accumulated. teachers write: are you right that you don’t scold children? they really just don't know a lot. young teachers came to school. they have just graduated from pedagogical universities. those who go to pedagogical universities these days are those who didn’t get in. as a result, the school is filled with people who are semi-literate teachers. here is one teacher in a chemistry lesson telling his students: young teacher, look at me, in front of you are a hydrogen molecule. and if you read the comments that young teachers write in their diaries, this is just a humorous act. doesn't want to love pushkin. i didn’t get out of my briefcase the whole lesson, come on, i read it in reading class,

i like this, i was terribly guilty, oh, i washed the floor in the classroom with the head teacher’s shawl, a picture in the country, and in class. culture refused to use obscenities, your son saw decimal logarithms in the coffin, straight from the disco, the teacher came and expressed himself in the same words. in norak and literature, young teacher asked the children to share who they want to become in life. one joking boy said: “i would like to become a pathologist.” another friend of mine works in a bank, he

’s with me, he takes notes on clients, one client says to him: tell me, young man, can you be used as a safe deposit box? hello, the defaulter petrov is calling you, tell me, i’m very malicious. tell me, you can laugh as much as you can, explain, this is a masterpiece, this is a masterpiece, the client fills out a form, the manager, here write the loan amount in words, the client, in words - it’s like, the manager is in letters, the client, the young man, i say, in my mind, how can i write the numbers in letters? a russian language teacher wrote: she came to the market, and today

they are selling central asia there, not only do they write price tags illiterately, they also yell. the seller shouts: “pineapples, bananas, pineapples, bananas.” she writes: “i don’t like it when russian words are distorted, i still went up to him and basically said, there is no such word as bananas.” “listen, what kind do you have?”, she says: “bananas.” she moves away, he shouts: “ananas, bananas.” and i saw on central market, announcement: retail goods and eptam. “oh, i didn’t tell you about glamor, here’s one woman writing to me, i read a test in a glamor magazine, great for sagging breasts, a test, but you can’t see, you should have put a pencil under your chest, if the pencil fell out, you she had young, no, sagging breasts, and you can’t see without a pencil, she writes, not my option,

brilliant, the second stage is an option, my option was not indicated in the test, i barely found a pencil, our neighbor galina went to work, it was very frosty, she saw on there was a frozen squirrel on the side of the road, without a breather, she returned home, brought the squirrel, that’s why, well, it would work on the farm, who knows why,

my husband was supposed to come from a business trip in the afternoon. i especially tried on the moose antlers in the hallway, can you imagine what happened to my husband, he came in with pancakes everywhere, a note, dear, this is for you, all this nonsense can be described as such

a wonderful anecdote, two planets meet, one another: he says: why are you so sad ? yes, such a nuisance, you know, people are wound up, she tells her: don’t be upset, i have too it happened, we went through it ourselves.