there may be some diversity, then parents give and see their parental role, and paternal one, especially in building educational chances, and this is a start in life, then on your own, autonomy, you move into your own free swimming, so to speak, or , if there is no money, what to do, if there is no money, what to do, if the level of education in some village school was not enough to enter the university, then we are reproducing the educational price of the parents.

the difference, by the way, in relation to the older generation is also very curious, that is, if in the middle class parents who send their older children into adulthood and do not expect them to warm up their old age, in other social groups , on the contrary, they will just expect the proverbial glass of water if still, ending our meeting, to simplify it a little, let’s each of us think about some kind of dream. about the father of the future, so i immediately imagined the father of the future, who works no more, but no less, than the mother of the future, who rather entertains the child, collaborates than punishes, supervises, and in general such an ideal family, where the genders of age are a little blurred, the situation is determined by mood and agreements, so i dream of such a family, fortunately i live in a similar family, and i... of course , i would like

the majority of our fellow citizens to have such a family, but very briefly, what kind of family do you dream of, not for yourself personally, i think everything is fine, but for our society, for me this is an ideal family, where the father and mother are their examples, attitude towards each other, attitude towards parents, they show their children the path to development and do not dominate the individual, well, that is, the task at the beginning of childhood is to protect the child.

both equally need this attachment, fulfill it, can do it, can talk about this topic, because of course it is important here that cognitive, emotional and psychological, whatever behavioral forms are connected, when we connect them, then we we understand the meaning, yes, if we only demonstrate them, we read them perhaps inadequately, but we receive emotions and reasoning about this, we formulate for ourselves this, so to speak, conditional formula of happiness, we are close and... this is why we are together, thank you very much, thank you to those who watched us and listened, may the power in science be with you, may it help you win all sorts of old gender stereotypes, thank you,

hello, this is a psychic podcast and we continue. today i am working with a psychologist, doctor of cultural studies, professor andrei sberovsky, our heroine veronica. veronica came to us with such an amazing and maybe even a little flirty request, behind which, however, there is depth. if i understand correctly, veronica, you are tired of being strong and strong-willed. are you tired of yourself as a strict woman, or are those around you tired of your strength of will? well, it happens that some people suffer from this, let’s tell us in more detail, what brought you to us? lately, since i’ve been building a business,

this has happened because i had to end my relationship with my spouse, and so stop, you ended your relationship with your spouse and you had to build a business, yes, exactly like that, well, to survive? or because you finally got the freedom to do it? precisely in order to survive, in order to pay off my debts, in order to feed my children, and accordingly, so that we could live somewhere, i had to have more than one child, two children, 6-8 years old, beautiful girls, yeah , what happened to your spouse, where did the debts come from? unfortunately, the majority of the russian population has a lot of debt, including my husband, so he had no credit history, or rather it was very bad, it was as if i... had to take on a lot of debts, he left and left you a rich inheritance in the form of debts, i left, and you left, i left, yes, so, so, and what was wrong with him? your husband, why it happened , everything was fine with him, he is a wonderful expert in his field, a specialist, but unfortunately, we could not find something in common,

or rather, we diverged in our common vision, i probably went into business, into implementation, i wanted some kind of different life, my husband decided to stay in the same positions where he... has, although he has a huge potential, but unfortunately did not want to realize it. you know, andrey, i now have the feeling that i am sitting at a meeting with some major director of a large plant, who is giving a countdown on the past period, and this probably has prospects, but for now there is a feeling that the director likes to be director, in fact, i don’t see a contradiction yet, because i see a girl who went into self-realization, went consciously, broke up with her husband consciously, that is, a girl in principle... choosing the model that makes life easy, as if it is not expected, as i understand it, there are some problems there, yes, that is , it is far from easy, so, this is a huge burden directly from the point of view of the children, from the point of view of work, from the point of view of obligations, then there is, i

really had to put a lot of obligations on myself , not because i want it so much, but i really don’t want it that way, i want everything in ease, i want to relax, i want to get high, and not work for satisfaction. needs, and these needs, who determined for you that you need exactly this level of needs, you i need now i have my own picture of the world, it just contains the level of my life, the way i want it, this is realization, this is constant travel, these are new opportunities, but so what? i feel comfort in this, we say, comfort in what, at that moment you will feel comfort when you reach this picture of the world or now, when... i want to come, but now i understand that i am going to some kind of the level of comfort to which i achieved this level of comfort through the process, which is the key point that i saw before that you don’t like it anymore, it’s heavy for me, where does the heaviness manifest itself, you are nervous, you

don’t express yourself emotionally, you break down, you have insomnia, so, what then, what is the heaviness, in stress, in fears, that somewhere it may not work out. the fact that i, for example, may not be able to keep up with children somewhere, that is, when electrodes are attached to the heels through which current flows, yes, you run faster, you say that where there is fear, there you have to grow, well but what is the problematic story itself?

relationship point of view, as probably most women, we are still inexperienced, we get married at 23, then our views completely diverge, some grow in relationships, some remain at this level, in principle i always had a gradation that when we got married, my husband was much taller than me, we have a 20-year difference; moreover, wow, yes, here, and after he seemed to stand still, i began to grow very sharply, and this delta with us increased multiple times with my husband, that is, it turns out you ...

are we focused on creating a new marriage and relationship or is this not our subject? conversation? not a priority at all, but can i say how i heard this request, i heard the request very deeply from veronica personally, but in which it does not rely on any relationships there with men and even with friends, even with children, the request is like this : i want to live at the same pace, i want to live at the same pace with the same achievements, i want to live at the same pace. in a pleasant tension, yes, but so that it would be easy and joyful for me, so that it would not

hang over me, so that there would not be a concrete slab of obligations on my shoulders, yes, so that it is necessary i didn’t hit the hammer from above about the fact that the contract could be torn down, the loan not paid, obligations to some partners or employees not fulfilled, but we see who we see in front of us now, yes, we see... an excellent student, yes, she’s an excellent student, it’s just from her toenails to the top of her head, yes, she’s imbued with this largely invented world of ambition, excellent grades and obligations, it seems to me that this is the problem, you’re definitely right on point, and if we probably think why all this started, always all the problems from childhood, i want to point out here that now everyone is telling me, how do you

pre-shout from... at the youngest, that is, this is how you have to do it, that is, set boundaries yourself and i myself set boundaries for children, then yes, i influence them, it turns out the same thing in the team, okay, in the team it’s okay, i can set some boundaries, my own rules, because this is my business, my rules, probably from the point of view of the children and those around me me people, well, as if to those around me, okay, no, i’m probably more for

children, yes, i dictate my rules, what i explain like this is correct, but the key thing is that i don’t just prohibit something, i always explain what it is for, why exactly this is so, right? what don't you like? let’s give a trivial example, probably, as all parents know, but i have a clearly scheduled sleep, that is, i see parents who calmly let their children sleep there, oh, they walk, they walk, they don’t have any routine, i it’s all about discipline, at what time we have to eat, do these procedures, sleep at 9 years old, that is, i clearly say this, probably for children... this is not entirely good, but from the point of view of the fact that i dictate such rules to them, there are advantages, there are disadvantages, the advantages are that we introduce discipline to the child, yes, and the downsides are that i squeeze the girls a little, so what is the problem here, the girls don’t like it or you experience it, so who has the problem, who has the problem, that i am experiencing some kind of discomfort, that somewhere- then

i can transfer him to the crime department... the genius was given a chance to realize his calling, a comfortable office in the ward, you sane, no, of course, that’s why i came to you, compulsory treatment, like an invitation to work, we don’t get paid for it, yeah, positive colleagues, i noticed that your crazy patients can think, interesting and fun investigations await you, mysterious one.

then you need to understand that, unfortunately, yes, you always have to sacrifice something and somewhere the children there won’t see their mothers there, in fact, i just see in this case that you are excessively taking on several images of yourself at once, which of course you don’t want you have to pull them, of course you can pull and you are clearly pulling them, but at the same time you feel a feeling of discomfort, so my advice in this case is, let’s clearly define the zone of your development, the zone

of your development is still a business, in this part, what will happen with the children half an hour earlier or... they won’t go to bed anymore, let’s not consider this such a significant task, let’s start, solve the main task, i understand correctly that this is to become easy in business communication with your subordinates, clients, customers, contractors and so on , this is how we formulate the problem, yes, and i let me clarify, it’s easy only for them or for myself too, and for myself too, well, this is an interacting interconnected story, because as i understand it, there are some apparently complaints being heard in the team, or someone there is telling you that.. accordingly, i ’m talking about the environment, i have a master group where we communicate very closely with everyone and gather a master group of 10 of us, oh, six entrepreneurs, who

constantly communicate once every two weeks and lay out as much as possible everything that is there. psychological questions on business issues, that is, you exchange with such a hot experience directly, i was interested in the question and i need to answer as frankly as possible, no matter how it was, i asked a question, guys, tell me what disadvantages i have, how are you doing. i’ve been there for six months already, you’ve been evaluating me and what are the disadvantages, where should i grow up, any disadvantage is a point of your growth, to which everyone unanimously said that i’m just some kind of soldier in a skirt, i’m pushing myself into limits in terms of discipline and life , directly, i pass this on to others, that you also need to live, as you correctly noted, i have my own picture of the world, and i pull people there, well, how hostage do you need to be.

break-ins and some cracks, so what, what's the downside? well, you’re on the red line, you’ve probably already voiced that very moment several times, well, roughly speaking, some kind of

problem is the syndrome of an excellent student, you said it directly, i heard it, but what i really need at this level for someone to be good, yes, but for myself i ’m pinching myself, well, wait a second, i heard pride when you said that you are a few years old. your marriage was caught up there and overtook your man, who was 20 years older than his pride, but again, you are an excellent student, and if you were this lightest girl there in a skirt, would you be like that, would you be successful, because really complain excellent student syndrome is easy when you are already on the pedestal of success, yes, i have excellent student syndrome there, but you are a successful person, wait, but if an excellent student devours herself, she may not get to this point, they should help stop this self-eating, as it were, but we have to stop.

i heard correctly that one of the problems with veronica or those people who now recognize themselves in the image of our heroine is that we always seem to be conducting a dialogue with someone of reference, trying to do something to this someone of reference to prove, it seems to me that, in principle, evolutionarily this is normal, but to resign yourself to something, well, that is, with some kind of standards, like, well, like me, well, a child was born, we look, so children in for 3 months they should be able to do this and that, for example, right?

in the sense, do not give advice that is not are needed, don’t try to improve something if there is no direct request, and even perhaps there is a request to say, listen, guys, well, i have enough to improve in my family, then i have two children there with my mother don’t play that often, so what please improve yourself or turn to improvement specialists for others, that is, in this case, you don’t need to be a point there of such quintessence, a point of crystallization of all the problems of the galaxy, don’t, because from my work experience i understand and see constantly the girls of yours warehouse which constantly raises and raises its bar, and these people reach depression and burnout, and many different physiological health problems, while being completely prosperous people, being the envy of others, and they feel unhappy, burnt out there and so on and so forth, now i see your tendency, the trajectory there, i see you now as a completely successful , prosperous girl who, in

this case, came out of a divorce, and that is, having gone through ... history, setting new goals for herself tasks there in business, there in everything else, you according to the absolutely correct model that you have already accepted for many years, that i must spread straw everywhere, take everything into account everywhere, calculate 10 steps ahead, and you ran, as if ahead of a steam locomotive, ran, that it’s called accelerating when possible, you don’t need to run so fast, you lived successfully there for 32 of your years before, you achieved great success in the model, well, actually, by which you lived. there is no need to speed yourself up now, there is no need to spur yourself on some patterns there other people, in this case, if the point of business, if everything is clear to you, if you understand the mechanism itself, if you understand the points of growth, do it, and ease can only come when, firstly, you find smart replacements , to whom you can push the same excellent students or excellent students like you, in fact, this mission there for improvement

by and large, then yours will come. this is a psychic podcast, where i, journalist natalya loseva and psychologist andrei sberovsky, analyze the situation of our heroine veronica, who has taken on too much of herself and is already tired of it. a friend of mine, a great leader, once told me, you know, he says, you need to compete with only one person, with yourself, only with yourself, that’s how i compete. with myself yesterday, this is the first, second thing he always said, you need to be grateful to yourself every day, so i sat down in the evening, yes, i sent the children for this free hour, write to yourself in the notes on your phone, what i am grateful to myself for today, what i’m doing great today, because you know, i really liked this image, which andrei gave, yes, that you are rushing at this enormous speed, when you are rushing along on a high-speed train that is rushing

overtaking... cars, you see nothing but a colorful ribbon, you understand, and you are your successes, which andrei is absolutely right, absolutely stunning, yes, amazing successes, you can be proud of them, of course, you need to be proud, but you don’t see them, i continue your thought, i draw your attention, look, here i am asking a reasonable question, there is a girl who is somewhere like- she gets tired, wants to be easy, but she finds time for her session there with the other five businessmen there, finds time to go to a psychologist, and i understand that... by devoting time to this, you may not be devoting time to just yourself as an individual, do not lie in the bathroom like a girl, do not go shopping, do not go for ice cream in the end, just don’t go for a walk with the children in no hurry, so i see that you are overloading yourself. let’s ask andrey, let’s ask veronica, what exactly is for you, without general words, but with specific examples, what can be for you such signs or details of this girl’s lightness, joy of life, lying in the bathroom and so on,

tell me. in gomak i want either in gomak in the maldives, a great plan, so either it’s just a walk through a coniferous forest, because it energizes you after the rain, it’s an incredible feeling, and the crazy speed, by the way, i really love the speed on some high-speed cars, where you can break the speed limit, drive, well, go somewhere to the races.

at me a psychological person, and where again, i get up every morning from 7 am, from 7 to 0:70 on the alarm clock, i have time for gratitude, but the key point is, i give thanks. everything for what i have, but not for myself. i want to emphasize this thought more clearly, in order to be easy, for this you need to allocate special time, and you, apparently, simply physically do not have it, because you are constantly engaged in self-improvement, when you find all the time in this flow, there critically assessing yourself, listening to other people's opinions, you, of course, do not have time for yourself remains, therefore, answering your request on how to become light, first, we allocate special time for this, what re'.

but i suddenly realized that this is the time when i, this is 10 minutes, i’m sitting and excuse me, please,

i’m stupid, looking there at the forest, at the grass, starlings, at a drop of rain, which, yes, i’m just stupid, i’m suddenly i understand that this is a time in which i am growing incredibly. returning to how to technically ensure this, in order for you to sit quietly for this hour with a mug , look out the window, enjoy the forest, it is necessary for someone to work at this time you, that is, you need to give your responsibility, i advise you in this case to say a very difficult word for such excellent students, when you say to someone at work, that is, you may not trust the person, you will not trust, maybe , you will doubt there, but you must say with your voice, listen, semyonich is there or masha. natasha, it doesn’t matter who, but i trust you, uh-huh, i trust you, these words, i trust you, they will place this very responsibility on another person, this will be such an elevation of a person to the rank of knighthood, raising him in status, and at the same time you will learn to let go, and what kind of motivation

will people have, yes, because people of your type, once again on your people of your type, of course the world is held on the one hand, but on the other hand, such people die there standing up and as if, unfortunately, they are exchanged for other similar people. so let's learn to say in words: i trust you, shake your hand, hug, give up this hypercontrol, and you can also say, you can also say at your discretion, and you can also say how you you decide, and you can also say, listen, do it as you think, it’s easier for me, i can do it, yes, but i trust me a little, add, add, let’s learn this, because at your discretion , i trust you, this will be such a gift for people and for you. saying, i trust you, when you hear yourself, i may even repeat, you may not really trust, but when you say it out loud, when your own ears hear your own words, it lets you go a little, lets you go psychologically, physiologically, emotionally ,

learn to say these words, i trust you, a person may not justify the trust, let’s change it, strictly speaking, but he can justify it, then veronica, a successful girl, smart, hardworking, wonderful mother, all sorts of other words in the superlative mood, will have time to be light, well, i would like to have time to talk about something else, look, i’m caught up in this tension that arises in veronica when you invite her to say the phrase: i trust you, yes, that is, apparently there is, even to us it's not a fact that she is now trusts, thinks maybe i came to the wrong place, they ’ll say this to me now, but it seems to me that this is the trick? you really probably have a problem with trusting the world, and people, and circumstances, and when there is no trust in the world, no trust in life, in circumstances, then what appears in a person is total control, and why, and why

control, why fears, yes , if you don’t trust, it means you’re afraid of it, if you ’re afraid, it means you don’t trust that everything will go well there, or that... people won’t let you down, and maybe even in they will come to you for something, your employees, this is wonderful, uh-huh, from this tension, this stone concrete slab on your fragile ones,

ask about this, do you know how to swim? of course, do you swim on your back? of course, but are you lying on the water? yes, i love her, but she doesn’t trust the water, but that’s for sure, when you lie on the water, you know, it’s this same thrill, yes, i swim too, but a little under stress , a little under stress, that is, well, not i’m stressed, but it’s hard to break this, i probably have something like this edging somewhere the thought that is inside me. a feeling of total justice, when, well

, what is justice, justice, the last story, if you want in stories, i paid for moscow parking, the application or their system is not working, i don’t know what the problem was, but the money was debited from the bank , yeah, then after a while i get a fine for 5,000, it’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame we work with grievances, for 500, and then you realize that the bank.

with justice in one, it is to be a quixote who is a wrestler, you need even in the fight for justice, you need to have allies, and these allies need to be trusted and delegated, yes, that is, you need to have people who, just like you, will have the same picture of the world in this case, so the fact that you are such a fighter is great , this is yours, well , actually, this is your image, your way of life, after all, again, if you see injustice, react to it, and knock. all doors, that is, we will fully support you, but i emphasize that the most important thing is what i hear and what i see, you need take veronica out of the image of a loner, the image of a loner knight, because i see a loner knight , yes, you probably have friends, yes you have girlfriends, a person who has a business, has money, always has friends and girlfriends, as if poor people there somehow have difficulties, strictly speaking, but it’s not a fact, it’s not a fact that you see people close to you, perhaps you...

i trust my top officials, so let’s somehow say a little sincerely, you’re right they really pulled it out, let the employees actually look at you, and we can use this as a resource for you, you guys, i trust you, i trust my employees, it’s like we’ve already taken the first step, in fact, i wanted to point out one point, i’m still in school. ..