it won’t rain like gold, inside this humble it specialist, a fierce mathematician, i left early in the morning while you were still sleeping, all these gorgeous dance moves of yours, this is love, it’s simple. don’t want to, i haven’t yet known what a human kiss is, i haven’t, at a party of best friends, you danced with my friend, fantastic, on friday at the first, here is the russian spirit, here is rusyuba. “we are used to seeing mikhail

zadorny on stage, at concerts or at some events, when he was in the image of what is called “kept his face, he was no one in a wide i mean, he wasn’t allowed into the family, it was a strictly closed territory, for the first time we have the opportunity to see him the way only those closest to him, his daughter and wife, saw him. the gatherings were always fun, but you’re sitting in dad’s place, so it happened, right? unique footage previously inaccessible to outsiders." there was this difficult period when he was being treated abroad, mikhail nikolaevich’s sister, lena and his first wife velta, in the face of misfortune, grief, they united, the three of them lived in the same apartment, cooked in the same kitchen and came in turns to go on duty to mikhail, his daughter turns to him, realizing that he is somewhere there, and he hears her, don’t take it as a posthumous empty compliment, my father’s.

exclusive with dmitry borisov on saturday on the first. this is a psych podcast and today we are talking about sexualized violence and its victims. good reception, yes, when anxiety begins to grow, you have a wonderful niche where you are a queen, i can’t say it any other way, well, just a queen, you look completely different, your body is different, they even sat down differently now, but that’s it i was sitting here and there was one thing, and then we got there, i can play in real life with my eyes closed, so let’s do it from this position, if we start living, just imagine.

year i began to study the psyche, psychiatry, psychology, look at everything, first, then choose, i was already choosing mouth, in general, i made for myself such a picture of the world that everything that happened to me is not my problem, it is the problem of that a person who is mentally ill, that this is not mine, i ’m not responsible for it, it was such a funny, stupid experience, these are the problems of that person, you know why, why should i intervene, you know, tatyana, when i read... a monograph by an

american psychotherapist who worked with such women, what struck me was that when they all talked about themselves, they talked. exactly the same words with a translation discount that elena spoke today: i’m dirty, i’m unworthy, i don’t deserve a relationship, i don’t deserve to communicate with either boys or girls, i’m not normal, and i don’t fit into this world, yes, that is, i’m not like that, i’m bad, i’m to blame, i’m dirty, i’m to blame, this little one a child against whom a crime occurs.

in general, it is desirable for outside specialists to help, maybe psychologists, i don’t know, if this is a religious family, yes, people there are included in the religious community, some of the consultants, some of the friends, why, because in fact, how many children are not told about this, adult women are not told about this at all, because there is this feeling that i am dirty, i am to blame, this happened to me through my fault, and is this position correct? what, that i testify to what happened to me, i am a witness in this trial, and i may not even be a victim witness, but in no way am i an active participant in all of this, why is this happening, you said it correctly, this is a transmental problem, it is not

only for our society, it is in general in principle the experience of a person who has experienced trauma, because this trauma splits our psyche, we can no longer communicate normally with people, we will take any trauma now and there... trauma of any spectrum, but i am something different, i don’t understand , what's wrong with me and my loved ones, they are the most strangers, uh, why? because, because i changed, but they remained the same, that is , imagine, a child, here he is on the street, yes, what is it, he comes home, and everything is the same there, they also communicate with him there, this is not moth that arises for a very long time, it’s just not moth, the mouth can’t form enough to pronounce these words, even though we take some very loving, accepting, caring person. and my mother hit me very hard on the cheeks and i realized that i would never talk about this again,

thank you for talking about this to your relationship with your mother, she is now 80 years old, she is in italy, uh. i have a sister, we are 10 and a half years apart, i became a mother, i taught her to walk, all sorts of diapers, bottles, i raised her, basically she doesn’t know what happened to me, i never told her , while i was thinking, i don’t need to talk about it, in general, i started talking about it only after 30 years, i didn’t tell anyone, i thought that i think it’s great happiness, yes, that elena, in principle, started talking about say this because many women. room, who doesn’t see a way out from there, and this is essentially a frightened child in a dark room , as soon as we start talking about it, you know, we turned on the light in the room, immediately

all this begins to be perceived differently, immediately there is also support, that is, because it seems to us that this is my unique case, this has never happened to anyone else, i’m sure when you said: about the girls in the class, yes, after one, just from my experience, yes, this is something in some degree, maybe not so often, but something happened there from relatives, there just on the street, so from high school students, and this is such a widespread phenomenon, especially now they have started to actively talk about it, thank god, exactly thanks to what they started saying, it will be restored, in our generation it’s just like some kind of norm. that behavior was tatyana, look, because if this happened, for example, to a teenage child, where should the teenager go? to the school psychologist, to mom, well, first of all, children are afraid, these girls are afraid of what mom or a psychologist will say, you put on a short skirt, but that’s

a common formula, went where there was no need to go, for example, another fear, i definitely have it i know from those... angry, unwise teenagers, peers , in general, begin to blame her, poison her, it turns out that it has only gotten worse, that’s how it is, because you and i won’t overload the whole society now, but i’ll tell you i will even say more that sometimes retraumatization occurs even from this very acute reaction of sympathy, when mom suddenly starts to fight in hysterics, and there’s somehow my poor thing a dragging test, where, in general, to put it mildly , this is such a procedure, and even this...

in such cases, again, well, sometimes children hide it, girls just hide it because they love mothers very much, they understand that if mom finds out now, she won’t survive, she will die, dad will go and kill someone now, dad will go to jail, this goes through very quickly in a child’s or teenager’s head, so yes, it’s better for me to tell no one i won't say, this is a psyche podcast, and today we're talking about sexualized violence and its victims. how can parents talk to their child in advance, i understand that, of course, most of us

parents are afraid to open our mouths on this topic, we seem to be mystically afraid of bringing some kind of trouble onto our child’s head, even admitting the possibility of such a scenario, here i am now i say, i understand that i have some kind of block right inside me, but i probably wouldn’t be able to talk to her if i had a daughter, what if you... get raped, just because i’m scared to say it, but should parents still, somehow talk to your people, well , first of all, of course, the girl, in general, we very carefully follow this policy that you have boundaries, no one should touch you without your permission, yes, yes, starting from the very- the very first years from kindergarten, not to mention how and even when we ourselves are with the child and we

just don’t know how, they can’t run or scream, and at most, yes, a state of complete stupor, there is complete muteness, then they will still feel guilty for this, that i should, but there is such a state of shock, there are adults living in villages, not to mention a child, well, it sounds like hopelessness, my friends, or do we actually have some kind of this, like the completeness of information that today children have...

behavior, this heavy burden has been lifted from us, because well, in general, it’s really not clear, just again, not a single child seems to have a lot of content on this topic, just as he doesn’t sleep and doesn’t you see that now mom will come and tell him that you know, this is what could happen to you , be afraid of this world, and also of this world, and that’s why children already know this information. they receive it at a fairly early age, they view it, popular bloggers talk about it, thank god, in this regard we have a huge breakthrough, which depends on parents, our task is to always be stable, accessible, warm for children, so that would not have happened, but the child understood that i can come home, i can come to mom, to dad, they won’t die, they won’t run there, as it were to kill someone now, yes they will help me, well, maybe at first there will be some negativity there, but they are worried, but overall they will accept me, they will help me, this is the main question, question, question, now i want

to renew my relationship with my mother , i haven’t communicated for 20-4 years, but she doesn’t make requests, she’s already coming there, she doesn’t even know that i have three children, she’s only seen the eldest, but i want her 80-year-old mother to have time to talk to her already not like everyone else... well, they think that i am some kind of person for them, well, many my relatives, how dirty, something is wrong with me, they don’t want to communicate, so as not to take on the feeling of trauma from my guilt, but i don’t know, somehow it’s not easy to communicate, well, in general,

you need to help me somehow , tell me how you can communicate not even with your mother, with your sister, what is the purpose of this anyway?

you see, this is the will of the children, little depends on you here, they may not like each other, and decide that at least i want to do this, as it seems to me that i have not completed it, here you just need to - sit down to figure out for yourself what i’m not she concluded that i want to tell them why i have a kipochsa, it seems to me that elena wants to shout to her still living mother and to her younger sister. about how it hurt, about how scary it was and about the fact that it’s not her fault, but i really don’t know, tatyana, whether this will help, it doesn’t help, you know, any person, it’s very important for him to consider himself good , and as soon as you start, just appear again in their life, yes, you are undermining their self-

concept, their idea of ​​themselves, therefore there will be resistance. well, these are rare people, if they were capable of some kind of comprehension, there is wisdom, acceptance, they would have already appeared in your life, but the period is long enough, i don’t think that you are somehow hiding from people, there how will it work out, if it doesn’t work out, try it, if it makes you feel better, but in reality there’s no need here, well , as if you should have your expectations well, what am i even waiting for there, just imagine it as a picture, like me, that we will sit at one table, drink tea, there will be some tasty treats, and we will just talk about the weather, and there will be no no innuendo, aggression, negativity, something neutral, even if it’s illusory, well, feigned, it won’t be true, you know that children in orphanages who were abandoned by their mother, yes, they have the same illusion that my mother is kind, good, she just didn’t understand something, if now i come to her and tell her

that look how great i’ve grown up, look how great i am, look i have my own family, i’ve achieved a lot, mom suddenly there is something there. some gears will fall into place, and we will suddenly find ourselves in some kind of magical reality, where this table is set, where these delicacies stand, where we drink tea, if the family has never been capable of this in its life, and where will that come from? you and i cannot change the past, yes, but we can still live in the present and future? i have one more question, tatyana, which very often the families of such children who have become victims ask themselves, and probably the victims themselves, do they need to go to the police, write a statement and seek punishment? oh, a very difficult question, you need to think very hard to understand in general, yes, what happened, this is a very traumatic process, very difficult, traumatic, the criminal must be punished, so again, i’m not saying that this

should not be done, this cannot be hushed up, but here you need to be very well prepared, like this do it right away, yes we... we are just solving this problem now, we support, then then we immediately, if possible, somehow take advice from a lawyer, again, there are now a lot of public

organizations, we contact everywhere as much as possible, that is, we first let's create this field for ourselves support, necessarily, or to your child, well , to the child, but naturally, if we are talking about the child, everything should be doubled with us, in this case, again, the mother works like this and such a mother bear between the child and everyone. the rest of the world, because here it is very important to enter into your power to understand that now the child’s entire support is inside me, this is generally true in any situation, yes, this is the rule for any situation that happens to us, at this moment it is very important, it’s just how strange it is and it doesn’t sound like being strong there, because well, mothers in this at that moment, the world also collapsed, and now i also thought about this, that for parents this is a monstrous trauma, this is pain, and now there is a complete feeling of guilt.

which, let’s say, is undeniable, it’s probably always been this way, in the case of sexualized violence, we have known since ancient times, but

thank god, we are talking about it today, openly, professionally, deeply, considering all aspects, because the past cannot be changed, but there is a present, there is a future, and it’s great if... not only the person who is in trouble, but the whole society can unite, concentrate, help the victim to make life joyful and happy. i am grateful to our today’s heroine for her courage and openness to talk about this rather difficult, but necessary for understanding the situation. it

ends, which is nicer and faster and faster , this podcast is a must read, i am glana batnikova, this year turns 105 years old, a classic of english literature, writer ari smerdok, today we will talk about her novel black. the plot at first glance is very simple, there is a hero, an elderly, fifty-eight-year -old writer who also worked in the past as a tax inspector, he dreams of writing

a book, is looking for solitude, but at this time - his friends begin to bother him, his familiar married couple, mm, he begins to understand their relationship and completely unexpectedly falls in love with their twenty-year-old daughter, tries to, well, seduce her, but at the same time with a serious approach... but his girlfriend leaves him and he ends up in prison charged with the murder of her father, and we try to figure out what is behind these relationships, behind this family system, the writer vera bogdanova, hello, hello, please tell me why exactly the black prince is considered a landmark work of the murdok, what is so important about it, what topics are open there, well, in my opinion look, this is not considered a landmark work for murdyk, because it... was a kind of turning point, i would say, a turning point, a turning point novel in her career, it was very difficult for her, and it’s quite non-standard and not like

her others novels, and what is he? is different - it differs, firstly, it seems to me, in the intensity and dynamics of the saturation of dialogues, as she herself said, this is a demonic novel, it was demonically difficult for her, that is, well, the black prince, what is this, this is hamlet, that’s right, this firstly, a reference to hamlet, indeed hamlet, and precisely hamlet, hamlet is admired by the main character of bradley's novel, a writer, a writer, and also a tax inspector, er, yes, a former tax inspector, and therefore a writer and... he admires hamlet, he really loves it in principle shakespeare, it is hamlet that he makes out with his beloved, with julian, that is , julian asks him to make out, well, how would she be the daughter of his friends, she is the daughter of his very good, bosom friend, that is, it can be said, on the one hand, a friend, a sworn friend , sworn and friend, because on the one hand he is arnold's friend, on the other hand, a fellow writer and... a rival,

a successful writer, unlike the main character, unlike the main character, yes, because the main character once wrote a fairly popular novel, but after that his career has stalled, unlike his friend arnold, who year after year, once a year , releases a genre novel, which is very popular and which, according to the main character of the novel, is not very deep in general, that is, it is some kind of then, in general, an explanation for a popular... product, yes, that it is pop, it is too close to the people, it is vulgar, shallow, well, we all understand this, in fact it is true, that is, as soon as a book becomes popular, that is, it crosses some kind of popularity limit, we can do it even now, watching, there are a lot of examples, everyone immediately starts calling this book pop, despite the fact that before, for example, they could, on the contrary, praise it and say that this is a very deep work, touches on cool topics, it’s done so well, only... only it reaches a very

wide audience. mass audience, it immediately seems as if it ceases to be some kind of elite product, that’s right, that’s exactly how, that’s exactly how the main character bradley pearson treats arnold’s works, so he thinks that it’s some kind of nonsense, on the other hand, he envies arnold, and he is very captivated by the fact that arnold’s daughter says just the opposite: i want to write books similar to your novels, that is , a good one buys me one... good assessment, well , let’s say , straight flattery, yes, that is, she really wants to listen to a lecture about hamlet, plus she herself played hamlet in the production, in fact, hamlet runs like such a thread through the entire novel, but hamlet appears here as a kind of black eros, that is, we meet in the text there are many mentions of this phrase on black eros, that is, comes as black eros into these relationships, it turns out that it is

their eros. destroys, yes, or tell me how the plot is built around the karotic interaction between julian and bradley, they have a huge age difference, they have a huge age difference, it’s true, that is , bradley is already over 50, julian is 20 years old, he is 58, this already under 60 even beyond, here we are, we’ll be so under 60, already under 60, and he generally considers himself, he himself condemned before this, well, that is, his sister’s ex-husband, what’s that...

just the strength for creativity, that is, bradley pearson finally begins to have some kind of inspiration, that is, he begins to write, this is an inextricable part of the destruction of creativity, wait, he begins to write already in prison, when he allegedly killed this arnold , in fact, rachel killed him, but everything is so confused in this family that in the end, yes... it turns out that this bradley is to blame, for some reason, he doesn’t even particularly deny his guilt, and but, but this whole situation, this whole dark race, it led him to the fact that he finally selbisat, what is the paradox, he is the whole novel, i laughed a lot at this, this is of course a terrible situation, but i really laughed, from the very beginning of the novel, our bradley pearson wanted a place of solitude to write, i laughed too, i, too, was re-reading it now, i noticed that all this time a person

wants to write a novel, all the time someone interferes, some people, some events come all the time, in the end it is love that unexpectedly falls on one’s head, in the end only in prison , he is finally left alone and can write book, he and he finally gets a place of solitude, so that where the stench... does not bother him , and he finally writes this book, yes, that is , after all, his dark eros leads to a peculiar, say, end, yes, then, that he finally gets some kind of silence, peace , inspiration, and really, well, that he still confesses his love for julian, still continues to love her, and even sits in prison, in general, this is who i am i don’t even know what to call it, but it’s hardly a hand, of course, but for...

it turns out that it fits in and you can say it’s just that this couple is jumping on a sore spot, it seems like this girl is 20 years old, she’s an adult, yes, but for some reason everyone is rushing around her like a child, in general everyone there has very big problems with responsibility,

in fact, the relationship between arnold and rachel - this is not the only example of some strange marriage in the book, there is also a marriage - bradley's sister, and her husband roger, who... in general , 20 years ago did not want to marry her, but that means it happened, and him he was forced to marry her, and that was a very unhappy marriage, from which the sender runs away, everything generally ends very badly, so no matter what marriage we take - in this book, it is terrible, it is terrible, it is destructive, it is perverted in its own way at its own root, and even the last one bradley's marriage to christian, yes he did too. not ideal at all, that is, bradley is not happy with him in general, how it ended in nothing and despite the fact that christian is trying to get him back, he somehow bradley himself is not very keen on this relationship, and there are no good heroes, listen, this one bradley, look at

reichek tries to hook him up with him, and this young julian’s mother, then this julie falls in love with him, well, conventionally, she says, at least, “i love you,” then we see that his ex-wife, christian. also wants him back, we even read some kind of analysis at some point, and this random character francis, who is constantly getting in the way, is some unfortunate brother of his ex-wife, we even see how he hints at some - almost arnold's passion for bradley, that is, we - understand that this bradley is some kind of just a hero-lover in every way, although he is a tax inspector and an unsuccessful writer, why this one? the man, it would seem, is so boring, in general, according to the description, he is not handsome, why does he stir the souls of all the characters so much? it seems to me that he does not stir souls, these are all some fictitious feelings that are attributed to him after the fact. if we take

rachel's friend's wife, i don't think she was in love with bradley, i don't think there was love there, there was a desire for revenge, there was a desire to somehow make up for this emotional lack, the ex... i don’t think he experienced any real feelings. and, by the way, it’s interesting, uh, critics draw a parallel in the novel the black prince, when the hero finds himself in a whirlwind of other people’s passions, as if everyone attributes to him some kind of love merit. uh, critics

compare this with what iris murdoch herself said in early interviews, when she first became famous, she said that she didn’t understand how to behave when... it was as if everyone had elevated her to the pedestal, everyone seemed to be in love with her , although in reality this is not so, this is a fiction, and it seems to me that this is exactly the feeling she conveys in the black prince. this podcast is a must-read, i'm talking about napatnikov, we are from the writer vera bogdanova, we're talking today about iris murdoch's novel, the black prince. and, please tell me, vera, you are also a young, beautiful woman, you are also a successful writer, you feel, perhaps, some similar conflicts with iris murdoch, that is, you yourself say that here she is, faced with fame, she became... well , with a certain, well, double bottom of this love, that is,

maybe not entirely sincere love, yes, you understand what this is, what kind of conflict this is, there is such a thing, namely there is a certain admiration for the image, because in fact none of the viewers who are watching this program now or those who reads my interview, or even those who read my books, none of them know the real me, which is logical, so... it seems to me that there is an absolute understanding that some kind of image that the readers put on me, spectators, who has nothing in common with me, he can also play a cruel joke, because at some point you begin to adapt to this image, and also bradley, the main character of the novel, is dead, he also at some point begins, it’s as if he is brought into these images, he really begins, although he didn’t want to, for example, a relationship with rachel of some kind of affair, but also...

he is even more embarrassed to refuse rachel when she begins to seduce him, but in the end this romance, half-baked with julian’s mother, somehow later impresses him julian, that is, again, the mother then writes a letter to julian, that this bradley, he and me tried to seduce, it turns out that julia makes some kind of difficult impression, she runs away and maybe this hobby will play some role in their relationship, but we see that this is how we behave... no need, yes, how a woman presses on a man, and how

maybe she should behave, because julie, she somehow runs away all the time, well, somehow she always eludes this man, and maybe it will be this passion in him, it’s not there either it is very clear that there will be passion in him, because he has known julian for a long time, well, essentially, a novel from a man’s point of view, here is iris murdyk, a woman, she writes this, maybe such a person, this is a reliable narrator, we... believe her, you believe that you, you have a feeling that these are male feelings in a relationship , what is interesting to us women, we read, yes, how it is from a man’s point of view, but on the other hand, there seems to be a convincing story, but we also understand that the author is a woman, there are two points here, the first, in my opinion, when a writer writes, and he is not a man, not a woman, he is the one from whom he writes, that is, the same with me, when i write on behalf of a man, i am at that moment this man when i write on behalf of. girls, i’m a girl, i’ll write from the perspective of a dog,

which means i’ll be a dog for a while, that is, well, you’re just like on the side who says that i’m a writer, i even write love for a stool, but that’s how it is it works, that is , it’s impossible, well, in a good way, it’s clear that there are different situations and sometimes it doesn’t work out, but the reader just feels it when the author lives as a hero, or doesn’t live as a hero, when the author feels what he’s experiencing hero, when the author simply sketched out some kind of, in every possible way, in general, e.g.