my friend, it’s a foreign land, it’s four days, the village is burning, it’s sweating with rain, it’s spring in danish, everyone throw some cartridges, the border is coming soon for everyone, officer. put on orders, throw sub-drones to everyone, the border is already skoura for all officers, but there are orders. when you traveled around... the world, a beautiful,

russian girl, singing beautifully, playing the guitar wonderfully, there were probably just hundreds, thousands of fans, and no one made an offer, there was never even any thought, like vladimir semyonovich vysotsky married marina vladiya, it's about the fact that in the eighty-third year i came to omsk i met this absolutely miracle, and he is gennady panomariov, he worked at the omsk philharmonic, he himself is from the city. he has been a fan of mine since 1974, the first disc that came out was from gennady, he came up to me and said that he sings songs for centuries, and i was fond of centuries, i say, well, let’s listen to this, it’s interesting, he says, well, you know, well, these are songs, i say, i love poetry, well, i love reading, then we met in tula, i arrived in tula, somehow on an even i had a place. i’m such an administrator, i

say, mishenka, let’s go to the table out of the blue, well, well, when god leads, this is a bell, well, of course, of course, everything is from there, everything good is from there, i come to the tula philharmonic, i go to the rehearsal, it’s standing there this one is my miracle, with huge roses, like a feather with a dandelion, this one stands so modest, i say, oh, gene, this is you, he says, yes, it’s me, that’s why we met, let’s take a closer look...

only holistically and completely, what do you know, this is the best enemy of the good, how could you help her, well play, of course, i have now mastered this guitar, its accompaniment, this is my assistant, then not only songs began to appear, about song cycles, about our, how to say, originality, everything, about the way of life, but zhana not only sang these songs in russian folk songs, we have a cycle, a russian cycle, with songs we are russian.

this is very, very important, so yes, that’s why my life is exactly like this, i offered to sing a song to my wife, his songs, what kind of songs he offered, domes in russia are covered with pure gold, he approached her backstage, well, tell me, yes, i was in one of the concerts, he came up to me and said, jean, i want them to sing one of my songs, i cover the domes of russia with gold, pure gold, yes, how do you agree to sing this song or not, it’s passed for some time. i thought, i called and said: “volodya, you know, of course i thank you for entrusting me with singing your songs, this is very responsible, but i won’t sing your song, your songs in general, but he says why? i say , firstly, because i wouldn’t sing better, also, who needs it, and worse, even more so, it’s impossible, it’s impossible, it’s great, he remembers when..." i understand him very much, let’s sing

a song, yesterday i saw you in a dream. yesterday i saw you in a dream and enjoyed complete happiness, oh, if only i could, i i would never wake up trustingly on my chest, we bowed our head tenderly, and i whispered, i love you, i love you quietly, i repeated, today

i see you, alas, completely, no, i won’t deceive myself again, i will. with a willful dream, mockery, an evil gaze shines, and your speech prepares torment, as if it wants to separate, long for us to be separated, and i thought that i was not living, that my soul was striving for heaven, alas, it could not,

in reality, that wondrous dream would come true, your gaze could blind. everything in me is empty and insignificant, why am i destined to love, what is impossible to achieve, why judge? but to love, which is impossible to achieve, yesterday i saw you in a dream and enjoyed complete happiness, oh, if it were possible for

me, i would never be lost... oh, if it were possible for me, i would never wake up , this is a podcast. 20 years later, both we and his presenter alexander anatolyevich and konstantin aleksanovich mikhailov. our guest is people's artist of russia, zhanna byuchevskaya, and her husband, composer, poet, gennady panomariov. young performers are probably watching and listening to us, they are very different now, very

different. please, on their behalf, please give them some advice, to those performers who think that a song is a product, that a recording is a track, that... it was a valuable union, you know, before looking for some your partner, you first need to think about what you are interested in, what interests you, what kind of music, what kind of poetry, are you empty as a drum, or is there something in you, take care of yourself, there is not a single

righteous person here on earth, the apostle paul said, but you still need to be interested in yourself, take an interest in yourself from the side of art, culture, our country is amazing ? these are bad children, because you will not meet each other with love, you will not have an understanding of each other, but most importantly, against the backdrop of my terrible tragic life, i always tried to be a cheerful person, i tried to make them laugh, even in childhood i made my friends laugh, uh, i say, let me i’ll make you laugh, and you’ll treat me, and i made them laugh, they treated me, since childhood i learned to make people laugh, not for candy, not for cookies, make them laugh, because people have a very hard life, you still have to somehow brighten it up, if you joke with a person,

it’s like he’ll smile somewhere, something has already thawed in him, you know, something has already come to life in him, people are now dead, they’re afraid to breathe in and out, they’re afraid of everything in fear, fear rules the world now, and where there is fear, yes, absolutely right, and fear suppresses a person’s free will, fear kills, so here i... i try to be simpler with people, because that’s why i say what zhanna vladimirov calls me, i say, no, she calls me simpler, i’m zhanna, i’m zhanochka for everyone. i can say what is my favorite song performed by you, in the film from 1976 in the documentary find your song, it’s called, yes, the film, if i remember, it’s a concert that was filmed in ostanka during an interview with zhanna, by the way, i highly recommend look, it’s called, find your song from the year seventy-six, the song is not audible to the noise of the city glinka, a wonderful song.

let’s put it this way, russian folk hits, but this song received the most applause, well, i don’t look at the applause, because this is not the result of my work, applause, my result of my work is when a person follows that path.

a lot of people were healed, but not all of them, because the evil ones were not healed, that’s right, because where there is evil, there is no god’s grace, but god’s grace heals, that’s why they are spiritual songs, all the more so sung, now if we started talking about this about healing spiritual music, let's then turn to this work of the hieromanach's novel, spring, spring, yeah, let's listen, we're visiting. people's artist of russia, zhanna bichevskaya, who turns 80 this year , is a poet, composer, sound engineer and zhanna's husband, gennady ponomarev. thank you, this was a podcast 20 years later, and its host was konstantin mikhailov, and alexander anatolyevich. if failure has befallen you, if you are unable

to dispel the melancholy, in a soft autumn, in a quiet autumn, come quickly to my spring, in a soft autumn, in a quiet autumn, come quickly to my spring, for a spring in a white temple, a cemetery, an old one, this forgotten one. russia left us, if your eyes

are clouded with moisture, splash some water from the spring on your eyes, you can cry, cry calmly. who can figure out where the water is, where the tear is, you can cry, cry calmly.

let her leave it to us, you see, the cranes flew over there, near the horizon, their cry spread out, and if you are sick, bedridden, then let you dream. poor spring, and if you are sick, bedridden, let you dream of a healing spring, behind the spring, a white temple,

a cemetery, an old one. geta forgotten land, rus delivered it to us.

hello, dear tv viewers, you are watching the triggers lab podcast, with you is its leading psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychologist and psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, our guest is yulia, hello, hello, tell us what you came to us with? i came with such an interesting request, i don’t know what to call it, it’s a diagnosis or my fears or my beliefs, in general, it seems to me that i have a childish... position, that is, it’s as if i ’m always waiting from someone that some of my questions will be resolved, well, for example, there is a search work, that one of my friends will offer me something, or, for example, my man will solve these problems for me, until a certain period i had a dad who helped me, i have a feeling that i, mm, have no

knowledge, yes, it’s like doing something myself, but with everything that i... expect, for example, from my man, that he will somehow solve my financial issues, while i cannot voice my requests to him money, well, that is, for example, say there, give me some amount for this, that, that for some reason i’m ashamed to do this, and i’m a little confused about this, i also have the feeling that when looking for a job, i also don’t seem to allow myself to forgive some well-defined level of earnings. due to the fact that i don’t have this internal permission, i broadcast myself this way, that is, this is how i see myself inside, this is how others apparently see me, this is my request. tell us a little about your family of origin, what kind of relationship are you in now? i have two parents, a brother, a brother 8 years younger, here i am

older sister, eldest child, in a relationship with my brother, it so happened that my mother worked and... we are 8 years apart and somehow i was partly his parent in some way, my dad earned good money, supported us , my mother also worked, but from a certain moment, when i now analyze my past life, i understand that, well, for example, many things were not done according to my desire, but it was not my choice, but simply well, it was as if we were following the path of least resistance, that is, we chose a university. yes, where they could arrange me, and guarantee me, yes, they could do the right thing, well, it happened, i got married at the age of 19, they also found you a groom, a groom? no, we somehow found ourselves, but it was at school, that is, we dated from the age of 14, then at the age of 12, i was 19 years old, he was 20, we got married, lived in marriage for 25 years

, then separated, i have two children , my eldest son is 20 years old and my daughter is 16, at some point i made a decision for myself that i would go on, well, let’s say, a long maternity leave, that is, i was at home for 8 years, studying... with children, as it seemed to me, she was an ideal mother, so, well, then it happened that at some certain point, uh, it became necessary to go to work, because well, such was the financial situation, and i realized that at the age of 45 m i came out, there was no self-doubt in me, the skills were lost, that is, all i could tell myself was that, well , it seems like i’m a good mother, but then over time m... naturally, like there is such a joke, yes that if you have a mother, then you will definitely meet with a psychologist, the children began to grow up and why just a joke, they began to come out, well, some of

their injuries, and this also included a certain feeling of guilt, that you begin to analyze whether you did everything like that, this structure has shaken, i’m a good mother. well, in the end, i came to the conclusion that people there for 45-47 years are summing up some results, but it’s like i don’t know where i am, well, that is, you don’t like the results, obviously, apparently yes, yeah, kids like it , i don’t like the results , i don’t like the results, yeah, yeah, so i can’t yet - get my bearings in order to get on the rails and to feel, well, self-confidence, let’s say, is a little bit of a feeling. some kind of loss, but how did your divorce happen? and the divorce happened, i was the initiator,

relatively calmly, well, quite a serious decision for a person who does not know how to make decisions, why did you decide to divorce? i just began to understand that i was not happy in the relationship, i began to understand that i did not give my first husband anything, well, that is - as for a man, i understand that all the same, the woman’s support, faith in him, it is important, so i, that is you moved away on their own, i didn’t feel these feelings for him, well, let’s just say, he disappointed me, or, as you say, i don’t like the results, well, accordingly, mutual understanding also couldn’t be achieved, and well, i didn’t want to do that, because i didn’t i wanted to get sick, i didn’t want to expose my children to stress. because up to a certain point there was an opportunity to somehow level it out and hide it, although the children tell me that they still, well, how did they feel it, uh-huh, so,

you said that he disappointed you, in what, what was the initial expectation or charm, well, material issues, that is , somehow, well, conditionally, let’s say, there was such an initial agreement that i would take care of the children, but he provides for ours. rear, well, it so happened that at a certain moment the situation changed, and i had to go to work, the situation changed in the sense that he was not able to provide for your family at the level that was necessary, yes, yes, uh-huh, here, and, well, this entailed some certain, maybe we just adults were unable to cope with this situation, yes, since we had an early marriage, maybe we were kind of stuck at that age, yes, that is, we... grew up, but we didn’t learn how to solve adult issues, perhaps what are you crying about now, i’m crying,

i feel sorry for myself, what’s wrong, that you’ve been crying for 45 years, you have healthy children, and why do you feel sorry for it, well, it’s as if this is clearly not how you imagined your 45, i don’t like the results, i imagined that i understand where to go, i imagined that i would have some kind of vector, i imagined that there would be some, well a feeling of some kind of reliability, i imagined that there would be support, yeah, all this support , reliability was essentially built on my husband, on my husband, on my dad, yes, well, first on my dad, then on my husband, well, my dad also supported us like that before us , well, you knew, but how would you have guessed by the age of 40 that your dad would die, your husband would die? everyone will die someday, how could you build a foundation on someone who dies? well, the question is, how could you build a foundation on someone who dies? well, let's talk to you about this, how you built your support on... i don't

i know, there is an ear of clay there, relatively speaking, maybe i didn’t think about it before, that is, while everything was fine, well, everything was going well and those same questions didn’t arise, dad helped, as i understand it, until some moment in your family, yes, up to a certain point, well, it turns out that he was like, well, for me, maybe in the subconscious, just as a support, and then... it so happened that i went to work , a pandemic happened, and i laid off, i got divorced and my dad died, it’s like i have everything at once, yes, well, as usual, it’s the same it happens, it doesn’t happen a little at a time, it happens all at once, huh, how did you cope with such a royal flush, i don’t know how you coped, well, i can’t say that at the moment when all this was happening, i was very there was some kind of deep analysis, i somehow suffered, right? well

, somehow it seems to me that i felt so good because i got divorced, as if i had solved some kind of issue, that i didn’t, well, i didn’t analyze the fact that, for example, i was left without a livelihood, and so, well, i was fired, so what will your divorce mean? there are some consequences for you, and the children stayed with you, yes, the children stayed with me, but my husband... well, he supports, helps, that is, well, how would we get a divorce very much - how to say, right, it’s probably not, well, environmentally friendly , yes , there is such a thing, yeah, that is, you have maintained a fairly good relationship with your husband, now you have a man, that’s right, yes, now i have a second husband, you weren’t alone for long, not for long, yeah, so what and this husband justifies expectations, right now there are no expectations, now there are just, well... somehow

every time there is a current moment, well, in these current moments he performs the functionality that you assigned to him, a person who solves your problems, meets some of your needs, yes, yeah, and why are you worried, i’m worried, myself , but i don’t see how, well, as a person as a unit, yes, that is , like this, but you don’t have such a task, so far, from what you said, the task was one: first to live with your dad, then to live with your husband, now living with a second husband, what kind of personality are we talking about? well, apparently it’s happening now there is such a need, there is such a task as you would like, this is the ideal picture, this is this holistic personality, what it is like, when you can rely on yourself to understand that it is good when there is a person nearby, but at the same time, if there is no person nearby, well, how if everything would be okay with you, not in the sense that you... are set up or

married not as a partner but in the family, but that in principle you can handle it yourself, that is , for me, how will you understand this, that is what do you need for this, you don’t consider yourself like that now, you don’t consider yourself like that at all based on some analytical calculations of such or such results, yes, for example, you do not have a profession that would make you happy, that you would... so: you do not have an income that would allow you to exist comfortably alone without relying on other people , you don’t seem to have any interests, i don’t know about any hobbies, that’s what you’re talking about, that means, accordingly, when they ask you tatyana, and i have reason to assume that all this should be the other way around, it’s you who should master the profession which will give you respect, there confidence and so on, yes you

must be provided accordingly.

when i read what komarova wrote, i was very surprised that i was sure that it was something very popular. next saturday at the first, let 's start with the profession, what institute did you end up graduating from, you graduated from the kursk polytechnic institute, where your parents entered, so you are an engineer, software, yeah, yeah, the second institute you graduated from is a financial manager, well, you received a financial education. so, well, both seem to be quite in demand today, well, first education, it’s so nominal, that is, it’s not about me at all, second education, but i initially worked there for several banks, then i worked at a company as a financial manager,

then as an accountant, then i wanted to leave the accounting department and i was fired, well, accordingly , i couldn’t answer my request , so you liked your job, accounting, no, but there are people who? surely, probably so, but i wanted to leave, and it so happened that by chance, not by chance, i got a job as an assistant to the director of a state school, and this job you liked it, yes, you liked this job, now you don’t work there, now i don’t work there, because of the pandemic you were laid off, no, i was laid off from accounting, why don’t you work at the school if you like it , it’s a little difficult to be a personal assistant, there is a certain one. there were some moments when i couldn’t, well, morally , combine this role as a personal assistant, yes, that is , i liked all the functionality, everything, except that at some point it begins, well, as

certain boundaries i could not to defend, let’s say, that is, i don’t mean to have any complaints against my employer, yes, but i just realized that at some certain moment i lost myself, and you left yourself? yes, that was your last job, yes, you quit a long time ago, um, in september. so, okay, and if we assume that now you will again climb out of the hole in which you are, what profession would you like to make your main activity? well, i like something related to administration, that is, ah, okay, how much do you plan work as an administrator or something? well, until the end of your days, for example, you want to die at work, this is possible, or you understand that you have 15 active years left there, i definitely don’t want to die yet, i don’t want to die at work either, but for some time yet, well, i’m interested

in working, i’m 47 years old now and i don’t see myself as a pensioner yet, that is, i have strength, desires, i want to work, yeah, how would you like your life to change, just suddenly? it’s a miracle that the whole mechanism switches and suddenly your ideal life begins, what it would look like, there in a month you have this, in a year that, in 5, in 10 years, you wake up, satisfied, well, there is this, let’s say, some kind of upsurge and desire to do, interest, satisfaction, well, it’s internal, right? that doesn’t mean there are some moments there, why are you crying when you talk about it, well, you’re talking about how great it will be, why do you cry even when you look there, no, i’m sorry about what ’s wrong now, ok, not like that now, it's

just a fact why you get upset when we are talking about your fantasies, maybe i don’t believe that this is possible, i have a feeling that you are talking and don’t believe it, i also have this feeling that you seem to have let someone down very badly the fact that you couldn’t get it all, who you let down, who was disappointed in you, let yourself down, who else could be disappointed in you, when you made your decisions in life, you seemed to have stumbled, disobeyed someone who told you how to, maybe it was your dad, maybe who, for example, could maybe he told you that yul shouldn’t get married so early, let’s assume, or you shouldn’t marry this person, maybe not, but from what i see you... talking about this, i get the feeling that now at this moment some character will come out of the darkness, maybe it’s not even a person, but who will have every reason to tell you, it’s her own fault, you

were warned, i would like him to come out, i would also look at him with with pleasure, let's just call him here now, if we allow this fantasy, then what kind of character is he? i don’t know, maybe it’s some kind of feeling - like a feeling of my own ego, well, as if i ’m disappointing myself, well, yes, that is. how have you disappointed yourself? now, at your stage of 47 years, where does your memory stop, where does that julia appear who has reason to be disappointed in you now today? at 35, what happened at 35? filled with something that happened at 35 years old? during this period of your life, what happened? i was fine in the thread, yeah, whatever happened yet? i knew where to go. i understood that i had goals, what? well, that

was 12 years ago, that is, this is essentially the birth of your second child, where were you heading? why, right? ok, why? to the fact that there was an opportunity to do what you liked, and what you liked? did you go on maternity leave when you were eight years old? yes, i liked planning, well, somehow i liked children, well, taking care of them, yes, but now i ’m analyzing it for myself on the other hand, that... maybe it was precisely at that moment that moment of leaving yourself, yes, that is, it was as if instead of dealing with myself, it was as if i, well, you covered them with your children, and this gave you an excuse before your father and before your husband at that moment, it also gave you this justification is that you took some kind of help from them, well, the husband is understandable, the father is less understandable, well, perhaps yes, you are saying now, perhaps yes, what can i say, i, well, for me it was justified, yes then , that here they are... contains, because i ’m doing something that, well, supposedly

cannot be measured, measured, yes, yes, at that moment you clearly seemed to be already disappointed in something, and for you this eight-year maternity leave was salvation and the birth of a second child was to some extent a salvation that does not need to be achieved some results in the material world, let’s call it that, and you went into the ephemeral world, for example, into the ephemeral world of good mothers, as if there was some kind of, you know, universe where all mothers are good and everyone is each other... then they understood it, but they closed their eyes, that’s what’s the matter, instead of at 35 there, well

also, at least now, in general, it’s quite okay, but at 35 you were young, and that was the moment when it was possible and worthwhile to make other decisions, perhaps get a divorce, perhaps you had such thoughts, perhaps not to go on this eight-year maternity leave, but to focus on building your career, building your relationships in this world, so that this world knows about you as an individual, and not as a prefix to your husband. right there at this second or this minute or this year, it doesn’t matter, it’s like july got lost there, well, it’s like it happened a little earlier, you seem to be very familiar with this state of disappointment, some kind of disappointment in yourself, when for the first time you made an independent decision, you can answer the first, that’s what comes to mind, an independent decision in principle, well, any independent decision, i'll go to school, i won't go to school. it seems to me that in my marriage it was my decisions all the time, well

, that is, i was in my first marriage all the time, well , let’s put it this way, but this is the notorious one, who is in charge in the family, that is, well, it was all on me, and i understand that my husband, in principle , also seemed to be comfortable, well , despite everything, i was like a mother, yes, but i wasn’t much of a girl, that is, i don’t know how it is not to take packages that are worth it , well, just pass by... yes, i’ll definitely take them, well, here are some moments like that, how was it for you to be the head of the family? i liked it at first, well, judging by the fact that i took on this role for myself, and i liked it, there is a feeling that along with this dominance you got the husband who doesn’t like you did it meet your expectations in the end? well, of course yes, i understand it now, well, the decision to get a divorce was also my decision. absolutely, and i understood that no longer, well

, no matter what, even if - well, there’s no work there, that’s all, i still can’t be in this marriage anymore, and this decision is bold, i don’t know, i just... to another i understood that well, it’s as if i just can’t breathe, well, i really physically just can’t, and, accordingly , i’m also suppressing my first husband, because i understood that that’s exactly where i, well... very, well, so strong, they said that your request is that you are strong in a negative sense, yeah, at first you are in a childish position. a child’s position and such dominance in the family like this, well , now it’s as if something like this happened, you know, like an inverted, uh, i’m kind of afraid or something, to go back and become so dominant again, or as if would, well, let’s put it this way, yes, it

didn’t lead to anything good, well, relatively speaking, i think that if you are now - when we are talking about this, if you take responsibility for this entire experience? here is the total responsibility that you made decisions, you did what you did, and the result of these decisions, the results of your actions, in general, you don’t like it if you accept all this experience from beginning to end and integrate it into yourself , then most likely you will not repeat the same mistake, but then the question arises: how will you act from today in your relationship with your current spouse so that your personality develops as well? you say, at the same time you... count on your spouse and give him the opportunity to take care of you, what can you do differently? i still don’t understand it very well, well, this is it, apparently, that’s why there’s a way to say, this is like an imbalance, and it’s like there’s some kind of instability and uncertainty or

something, because you’re talking as if you can’t control this power, what is it, if it exists then... it’s clear that you are frightened by what the first 25 years of marriage have led you to, well, i mean first marriage, and you here now cannot allow this, and you fall into this position of a child, what would you do now, july, if you decided to destroy your relationship with your husband now, and follow this

scenario in which you left i have a little friend with my first husband and with my second. situation, we have a big age difference, it’s unlikely , even if i really want to, i’ll be able to defeat him, yes, but answering tatyana’s question, would you try to somehow suppress him, i don’t see it in myself now , no, tatyana asked you another question, she said what would you do if you wanted to destroy the relationship with him, from what you answer, i conclude that if you could, you would suppress him, that’s how you would destroy relationship with him, but...

in order to destroy it, so that , well, i’m interested in understanding what can be done to understand, and then what should be done in order to preserve it, that is, there is a certain idea about what destroys a relationship, it’s clear now, what is not worth doing, then what is worth doing, the most important thing is that it seems to me that... well, that is communicate a lot, talk, explain, check in with each other, well, at every moment in time, when some situations arise, for example, or some simply, as they say, dialogue, yes, that is, you need to find some kind of balance between destructive .