tea broke this new vase, father minaker said, nikita, don't worry, it's not like that, it 's already new, it's only 200 years old, dear friends, let's look at the screen, hello, comrades, hello, khanin, warmly, thank you, what, like yours, ordered, you know, to live long, 6 days ago, what a circus, from deuterite to lie the heart, vladimir ivanovich, you know, how this cry was produced, yes, that means, we with... nastya

melnikova, like she's an actress, that means, they were preparing shakespeare, she says: don't you mind, if uncle lyosha comes, the neighbor, i say, well , let him come, so she called, the neighbor comes in, uncle lyosha german, alexey, and so, so, this passage is read to her, he says, listen, everything is fine, only there is not enough spontaneity, some kind of immediacy, he says, i don’t know how to achieve this in the theater, because every time you read one thing and... lyalya died, she had to play the assessment, she is a wonderful actress, she plays the assessment, she andrei mironov had to say that he plays the experiences, how it all happened, as she says inside faster, she means even faster, once again it's useless, they've already got a bunch of film. they were filming somewhere far away, then herman

gets a brilliant idea, he conspires with the cameraman, he says: listen, i have enough film for one take left, herman says: so, now, no matter what happens, we'll film it like this, this is how it is, to this guy who's standing right here, yes, he says, stand in the corner of the screen, everything's fine, he says, no matter what happens, we'll play it to the end, because everything will happen differently for us, and then they they get into this story, they start filming, andrei, that is, mironov. says that the baby has died, at this time german, bending over, with a fork in his hands, comes up to nina ruslanova at this very moment and sticks this fork into her butt, she does this, this, this thing, and then, since the film runs out, then everyone, despite the fact that there is an internal split about this, plays out this tragic scene, she can no longer resist anything, covers her face with her hands and leaves the frame and after this it sounds:

somewhere 83, 84 years and eternity, that means, arkanov, he says, there is a man standing in front of me who gives me a passport and says, i have a favor to ask of you, she says, don't raise it, what did you want, please, don't tell anyone. how old am i, she writes, she says, she says here , no one heard here, they are those, they were all sitting, they were all sitting, when, you know, they came to the dining room, the dining room imagined himself like this... suddenly

one vacationer, and no one communicates with anyone, everyone in their own greatness and a friend of one says: i brought a thermometer with me. whoever doesn't ask about, she herself with herself, now without the help of a loudspeaker, it was meant radio, because i see the one sitting here doesn’t even understand what

a loudspeaker is, we understand, no, no, no, we’re not talking about you, yes, now without the help of a loudspeaker i can determine how... well , what’s the temperature today, again a long pause, she says, i forgot, you ’re talking about the greats, yes, and i’ll tell you about...

he disrupted performances, well, i wouldn’t say that rarely, but he disrupted them for this reason, well, but in 1981 he and i were invited to on november 7, shouting slogans to the people from the podium, yeah, tabachnikov, efim, the great director, here he said, senya, you are responsible for nikitin, he shouldn't get drunk today, they sent him for the title of honored artist, and they took it away from him more than once. they returned the title with me, he will work a miracle there, they took the title away from him, i say, that's it, i will watch, everything will be fine, fenic, i will bring him sober to the theater and so on, because he has a performance in the evening, so we shouted slogans with him, long live the great

october socialist revolution, hurray, and all the people, hurray! everything is great, he for 10 minutes, i for 10 minutes, he for 10 minutes, i for 10 minutes, as a token of gratitude, the first secretary came to us, perhaps hands, says: let's go under the tribune, it was a mistake, no, it was a big mistake, we went along the tribune, they gave us a bunch of sausages, wine, vodka, well , all the delicacies, that's what we worked for, you understand, everything is on the add. and there are about 300 of us standing, the tables are huge, they are falling from food, there are pigs, there are these different fish and crusts and everything, well, everyone is just falling, they are drinking to the great oktyabrskaya, there the second, the first, then he said, nikitin so quietly, quietly, i

hear, it seems okay, he's standing normally, then about an hour passes, then he says, listen, i'll go take a shower, i say, valery, of course, of course, black, he's all right. everything 's fine, he walked away, suddenly everyone there hears everything, everyone hears, once, once, once, once, the microphones weren't turned off in the stands, and i hear nikitin's voice, once, once, once, once, once, suddenly, everyone tensed up, as you know, now the dogs will break loose from their places, tensed up, we hear, people... here is perfect silence, come here everyone, everyone went to the podium, there were still about 500 people walking around on the square, everyone went to the podium, excuse me, now i'm going to give a direct speech, everyone gathered, everyone is shouting, everyone

, everyone, go to hell! goodbye, listen further, i didn't tell you. but there was no performance, because he was all bruised, all bruised and beaten, they took the poor title away again, that was the story, well listen, no to alcohol either, i 'll continue. so i also have a banal story, it's a sore subject, yes, yes, yes, but sometimes it's funny, funny, you think, well

here we have a new year's company at the theater, all that stuff, i come to a fairy tale, a children 's one, i play babaiga, i see my friend standing there, who plays koshchei, i look, he is very worn out by the holidays, but the man feels bad, just bad, he says i feel bad, i say, be patient, dear, a short performance, it will all be over soon, he says, yes, yes, yes, yes, we go out, we play a performance, dunyashi... something is coming now koshchei, now koshchei, koshchei is not there, where, where is he, he says, go there, there, i run to the smoking room, and he is already hanging on the stairs, just hanging, i say, your it's him, i look, he's nothing, just and dunyasha left the stage, koschei runs out barely, and the dads who weren't hungover are like, oops, ours, ours came out on felt, felt and koschei, kids, where is dunyasha, where is dunyasha, kids, she ran away, ran away, he comes out on the proscenium, got ahead, popashi there, the dads are delighted,

they burst out, merged, the dad says, ours, ours, further, further, and so, so, i have such a text, i go out, i say, a bottle, i say, here i have a tincture there, bleach-free, does anyone want to popashi, give it to koschei, koschei give, then everything. breaks, koschei dies, explosions, i say, koschei is no more, in the hall of dads, bravo, really, the dude was deprived of a bonus, yes then new year's, yes, constantly saying that happiness loves silence, such two decoys, beauties, what are you doing with us with men, do not go to meet him do not want, and a modest question, do you have a mother, right?

and children tomorrow after the evening news burbon stirsman product of stellar group whiskey mankatcher product of stellar group gin snop product of stellar group cognac monte shokoka product of stellar group. rum castra product stellar group vodka pichora is a product of stellar

group vodka veta is a product of stellar group. there is reason to believe that a new provocation is being prepared. colleagues, a minute of attention has passed. i would like to introduce you to dr. eugene willowstone from boston. what else do we know about this man? he... do you love your russian? trader since

monday on the first. ignat, i have a deal with you, it is only between us. let me tell you, this is not my story, this is the story of my wife, who works in ramtha, previously it was called the central children's theater, when the new year holidays, that means, accordingly. january 1st at 12:00 a fairy tale, so they have, that means, in the theater there is this famous story, when the fairy tale is on, about the punished dad. because they go with their children on january 1st, whoever is punished, they go to this performance, the dads are sitting in the foyer, waiting for the intermission, and then a child runs out and says: dad, there's such and such, there 's such and such, this is the one, the dad looks up, says: son, look quickly, and today we already remembered our wonderful, i

don't like this word great, but it's a real pride. but he had already done everything he could, everything, then, then he moved on to the amateur art competition, so he turns to the audience, says: now i would like you to take part in our matinee, whoever can do what, please, well then one

boy, one boy danced an apple, a girl sang a song, yes, yes, yes. and nikolin goes up to one child who was sitting with his grandmother and says, you don’t know anything, he says, i know, he says, but what do you know, you’ll read to us, no, why, i don't want to, well read, what's your name?

you can call it a pit, it's on top, looks, the boy took the microphone, looked, i won't, they again, valera, valera and the boy already brought to the end, says, bear, little gray bear, teach me

how what do you mean the program has already been prepared we had all sorts of games, tricks, round dances and so on, i come and one girl, there are no more children, and many adults, parents, and i say, well let's do how much, well half an hour, they say, well let's entertain, so i start, the girl is silent, i read her one thing, another, i try to ask her, she is silent,

does not answer anything, looks at me, i show trick after trick, yes... some , you see, like these, they are put on hands, you see, animals, there is a hedgehog, a fox, her only manifestation was that she began to put some candies and risks in her mouth in general, did not open, i could not anymore, they could not talk these stomachs, stuck together from sweet toffees, then parents come, father says: i will pay you more, we are sitting there, an adult, the child has a holiday, we are sitting there, stay another half hour, guy, okay, so that well... the girl, no way, i say, yes, okay, for the money, everything is fine with you, i 'll have another half hour, in half an hour, he still, the girl didn't react at all, my whole program was already over, maybe, i was already thinking,

she looked at me like this and with her finger called me over, i thought, my god, that's probably it wasn't in vain, and i did that, i sat down next to her, i say, little one, she says, and who are you, an hour and a half, an hour and a half, there are all the poems that i knew, and who are you, and who are you, and who are you, that is, she spent an hour and a half solving this nonsense, this riddle, she

looked at this person, she did not understand, then she decided to ask anyway, koyulya, naivety, yes, oh, we played, we had to play the premiere. snow white and the seven dwarfs on january 1 at 10 am, i played tuesday, i played tuesday, it was one of my first roles, and we had an actress, sasha gertseva, it was also her first role, she played snow white, january 1, 10:00 am, they brought, oddly enough, they brought not the mothers of the children, but the fathers, because the mothers wash the dishes there, clean everything, and the fathers brought from this hangover, the fathers came at 10 in the morning, they sat the children down and... here the performance is going normally, that's it, she has to gobble up this ill-fated poisoned apple, this little white girl, lined up to the music,

slowly-slowly begins to bring the apple to her mouth, and the children begin to scream madly hysterically, no yash, no yash, not me, she still brings this hunted apple and bites off , little by little the poisoned one begins to fall , there are special chairs there and such an ideal silence, well, ringing, just suddenly an adult uncle told you not to eat, well, what do you understand. she's half drunk here, suddenly the poor thing girl, her first role, her belly starts to move, and it starts to move

faster, faster, faster and suddenly, sashka gertseva starts to laugh hysterically, they closed it, it's hanging, can you put it together about snow white and oleg pavlovich tabakov, let 's do a play. they had one with ustinov, they wrote a play, and it was, you know, not those disney ones, but monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, with the russian version it was always like that, yes, january 1, dads, everything is so simple, it's absolutely the leninsky theatre komsomol, so in the morning they gather, there, that means, two casts of them played, that means, the first one drew lots, who when, who at 11, who at two, so they gather, that means, at... none, they stick these, that means, eyebrows, beards, they stick, they put on costumes, they hung these there , that's it, they go out there, dads mostly sit

in the auditorium, and the performance slowly begins to move in this direction, dad understands that this is inevitable, the children seem to react like that, but so the performance, well, here's the pipe, and it comes to the moment when the snow whites... the dwarves stand opposite each other, they they introduce themselves, so snow white is standing and so they are standing and the dwarves are standing, the guys, they say, monday, tuesday, yes, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, saturday, sunday, they look, there are eight of them, one actor from the second cast got confused, and since that's all, he stuck on, he stands, and then, that's who's there, that's all this is like a company, they said that he

came up with it, because it was a good skit. and this was in the seventies, he says, the thing is that our government passed a resolution, and now we have saturday is a day off, that is, there were 7 days, and then six, this is our saturday is a day off, this is a working day, here everyone came to life, somehow the intoxication passed, and then the performance rolled on, after the commercials the funniest stories from our guests. magamayev - it's me, what's wrong, you can handle it, that they don't believe that it's me, then the artist goes on stage and the audience just doesn't breathe, when without doing anything, a person just sings, not everyone can do this, believe me, muslim never used foul language in his life, but he was brought up differently, musician, the most intelligent family.

yes, daddy, daddy, hi, latushka, why haven't you come for so long, why did you come to the kids, i remembered, i met a woman, it happened that, that i love her, i've loved her for a long time since school, your hair on the back of your head is wet from the heart, there's lipstick on your collar, for everyone my ideal couple, i don't want to be...

i went to see the program at the circus, the director of the circus met me at the station early in the morning, and when i went out into the nature, suddenly my heart seized up, i couldn't breathe, i got scared. the first time this happened, he's on the same in the car in his that met right at the regional committee clinic, there is panic, here nikulin is needed, because it is bad, i need to go to the head doctor, i need an injection, an immediate injection, call marya sergeyevna, she gives the best injections, please turn to the wall, turn around, we are just about to take off our pants, your pants were not taken off, i am lying with my face to the wall, i hear the door open, maryovna, be careful, this is an artistic cul, she

says, yes, yes, and so i wipe there once at the injection, i hear with a premonition, she says to me: lord, the first time the famous i see the artist in person, of course i understand that all my stories taken together against the stories that are already here today, they are childish babble, but i can’t now... remember, not tell about the verification of musical rhythm data, when i entered oleg pavlovich tobakov, and i, you also need to know my story, i grew up in a family where my mother clearly told me, you will never be an artist, you must at least be beautiful, well, or at least have talent, otherwise you will have to be, and then there was an obscene expression from a woman old, ancient profession, and also my mother.

very, she is such a philologist, moscow state university, teacher, russian literature, we have tolstoy, dostoevsky, our own people, here is my mother, she is now 84 years old, tsvetaeva, she and maikovsky - she read oh-oh-oh, you understand, here, and i am an actress, well, what can be, in general, all this is impossible, and everything was done, but apparently i wanted to be an actress so much that in general, nothing worked out, i still got a pedagogical education and entered the paluchi tobakova collective, but when i entered, my mother said all my childhood, oh, that's how it is in our family, i'm smart, beautiful, oksanka is my older sister, smart, and yulka, not without pity and sadness, said, she's cheerful, and i generally understood that everything that separates me from my dream is my excessive cheerfulness, and accordingly, preparing for the theater such an institute, in spite of everything, i selected the most tragic

material, it was of course dostoevsky, here on the break all the most terrible, well of course, i still suggested to me, take-here you are with your appearance gogol, well and it was chekhov, that is, i am all very such elements. all something bergholz, well that is, everything is like a ruptured aorta, and i conquered this cheerfulness in myself, because i thought that it would hinder me, yes, yes, that like that, that my mother said so, i performed all my childhood somewhere in general i was a very naughty child, she would say in some tricky such embarrassing situations: dear, excuse me, dear viewers, we are petrushka's parents, well that is, she is always with her such, and i realized that in order to enter vamkhat, what separates me - with amkhat, this is so i prepared very, very much, tried, well i had a few more problems, i have no ear, my voice sometimes, well i think that little has changed, but i'm just being honest here

, what can i say, so when, but i thought that it was less, i didn't apply to the bolshoi theater after all, now you can do it with this, yes, probably, but then no, so i mean. i tried the main thing to destroy all my cheerfulness, camism and something like that , everything is very dramatic, i lived, i cried at night, i imagined myself in different terrible situations, in order to somehow raise this drama in myself, well, and i must say that i also had some of my own funny things, for example, i decided that i would only apply to vamkhat, because only there they would squeeze all this comical fun out of me, so i... so i applied to the only institute, that is, i did not go to pike, or to shchepka, or to gesis, i just went like, i don’t know, on yes, to fight in this mha with all this tragic material of mine, but the nicest thing is that i think, for that's all for me, i got to the competition of course, and

before the competition there is a check of musical rhythm data, i don't even remember how it went, because basically they told me to tap something there, i tapped something, sang something, and somehow it all went away at all. well, that's how it was like nothing happened, i didn't get it at all that it turns out that i'll have to sing at the competition, and having read my entire tragic repertoire, apparently, with which no one in life would have taken me, of course, most likely, oleg pavlovich nabakov would not have taken me, which means, suddenly he tells me, and i already, we are sitting there, they call us 10 at a time, we have all this in the theater such-and-such, that is, not in the audience, where all the tours have already been, on the stage, and i already see that it’s true, for some reason people are singing, i think, well, with me, well... they checked everything, with me, everything seemed to be fine, and suddenly he tells me , i think, well, i give him chekhov and dostoevsky, suddenly he tells me, well, okay, let’s sing, then i understand that and i don’t have it, i

don’t know how to sing, and i understand in horror that well, what should i do now, i should say, well excuse me, everything there, that's what i think, okay, russian folk, i start singing, oh , kolina is blooming, at that moment i understand that i'm not in a single note, i'm not that i can't, the chorus has already started, and everything is falling apart for me, and i only have one thing in my head, that i have no ear, i have no voice, but at that moment i understand that i'm in some kind of comatose i'm singing with horror with my last strength, something else is somehow dancing to myself, suddenly i begin to hear and i see that everyone is dying with laughter, just homeric laughter of tobacco, then wipes away tears, says: "stop, stop, you can't hear me anymore"? and he says: my dear, my darling, where are you from, from moscow, he says: well, let's start over, here i understand that i definitely won't be able to sing it a second time, somehow, and i think they

will now finally understand that i have no ear, because i can't repeat what i sang, because he, that folk songs can be sung however you like, it's folk, well, creativity, and i... i remember a song from my pioneer childhood, i don't even and but apparently, it was so really funny that i think they took me that's just for this, i suddenly start singing, we simply have nothing more to lose, you will remember everything at the last judgment, this night lay like that pass, tears start to roll down my eyes simply from the understanding that... how could i not go to the chip, to the pike, to gites,

to the geek, to the institute of culture, in the end to mass events, how could i just like that, just like that, reach the competition, just like that, fly off and then again this deafening laughter and oleg pavlych says: no more, don't sing, never, you need to be with number, with a humorous number, how can you not sing? let's take it, let's take it, you know, to play a prank on your friend in life, sometimes it's a nice thing, honestly, there's a wonderful artist sitting next to me, natasha, natasha gvozdikova natasha, natalyarovna gvozdikova, this is absolutely, forgive me, this is absolutely my character, we met a long time ago, natasha is naive and pure to the last degree, so that... i didn't tell her, i have a serious

face, i can tell her that i flew into space, that i had open -heart surgery, natasha will believe everything, that means, the first, the first, when you fell for my bait, it happened completely by accident, we were from the actor's house in austria, i think, we are walking - down the street, the three of us natasha, me and my wife, we are walking, natasha sees - a grocery store, she says: i want to buy austrian sausage to take home, we go in there, she took some sausage, and i see, on the lower shelves there are eight-liter canisters with oil for street lamps, a big discount, 3 euros, 8 liters of oil, i say: natasha, look, i say, wonderful olive oil, extra virgin, she threw it.

you can pour it into a salad, into a lamp, you can lubricate it, i say it’s very good for shoes, we ’ve been using it for a long time, natasha threw the sausage, took the canister, goes to the checkout to pay, but something got on my nerves there, apparently i... now yes, the thing is that i believed everything,

really, he was steaming me so much that i thought, my god, what’s going on, he managed to get an acting education, and a theological seminary, wait, wait, wait, a joke, you ’re telling it earlier than you should, i call natasha, i call natasha, she doesn’t come to me for a long time phone, for a long time, then she picks up the phone, i say, where did you go for so long, your apartment is not very big, she says, you know, what a thing, winter is great... that 's what it was, she says: i was filming a show here at some factory, they gave me dumplings, a bag of dumplings, i scattered them on the balcony, i mean, so that they would be preserved there, she says, i went to see, or so that the crows wouldn't peck them, i don't know, she says, anyway, i slipped, i broke my ankle, and i'm in a cast up to my armpit, i just, i'm on one my leg will hurt, i say, natasha, i feel very sorry for you, but you need to eat calcium there, i don’t know, cottage cheese and so on, she says, i’ll do it without you... i know that i need to eat, it’s happening during lent, i

say, i allow you, natasha, to eat cottage cheese, she says, who are you, in general, that they would allow me, i say, natasha, i’m a priest by my first education, i believed her, but she paused, she said, wait, i said, well, you understand, it happened in such a way that i, in general, was a priest for quite a short time, i defrocked for embezzlement in the temple, i embezzled the temple money, but i was left with three privileges, i can perform funeral services on a campaign, i can baptize on a campaign and i can allow the sick and suffering to eat during lent, so i was left with only three privileges, you see, i consider myself a regimental priest. natasha, then, she says, well thank you, and hangs up, then time passes, we meet together with my wife in the actor's house, she says to my wife, nin, i am so grateful to alyosha, he saved me, what happened, she says, he told me allowed to eat cottage cheese during lent, well, the talk of idiots, in general, he asks meekly, says,

and why did you ask him for permission to eat cottage cheese, she says, well, he is your illuminator, that's verzovaniy... nina says: yes, they have been since then, she says: "natasha, my dear, let me make a deal with you, as soon as i am near, he will lie, i will do it like this." but the most interesting thing is that when he really lied with terrible force, and nino was already shaking just from the fact that i just believe him, he gives it all all 100. and she says: listen, i feel so sorry for you, i don’t, well, how can you live with this person, how do you mean, well, in life i do this, right? but let’s agree that when he lies to you, on the phone i will shout: “natasha, i’m snapping my fingers, yes , i’m snapping my fingers, but i cured you, natasha, he cured you, that he cured you, guys, he did so many strange things to me and so on, he set me up in a dirty way, we are in belgium

, i think, yes, in belgium, and i tell him, i need sleeping pills, buy sleeping pills, but we have they don't give it to you without a prescription. and i have a prescription, well, he says, no, natalia, no, no, no, no, i say, come with me, you speak all languages, that's true, sometimes he's in english, sometimes he's in french, sometimes he's in german, there, yes, i pretend, but they understand me, and we go into the drugstore, there's no one there, a woman is standing there, and i say, come on, come on, i'm in broken english, i say, but turn it down.

after the commercials in our studio, there are even more stories that happened behind the scenes . today we have a special edition of cameron 70. anatoly sogolevich, a man, who inspired james cameron during the filming of the movie titanic. we built the world's command and control apparatus, as one american told me, i saw the pentagon walking on the ceiling. maria shteiman, he was filming a love story, is inscribed.

show how people swam, and of course, love should be in the center of the film, he immediately looked at me like that, oh, love story, tomorrow on the first, in the new season on the first, tell me, is it possible to do business in my city without me, you komolov, oleg viktorovich, here is the resolution on your arrest, tonight they robbed museum, what does my dad have to do with it, well tell me? the director is local from leningrad, he came with his wife and daughter, the daughter is grown up, she is going to be an artist, that's how it is , the museum was robbed at night, the area is quiet, people don't sleep only in houses where they sell wine and more often, so what 's going on here, maybe we can come to some agreement, and 500, what about it, okay, and how did you, hell, you sly one, fall for a simple scam, and

everything looked so convincing, and you are not afraid at all that we will get bogged down in these affairs, but they are bad, dad, he is good, he needs help, k unfortunately, without money, you can't do it, five, seven, oh, what, ah, you were just amazing, and your partners too, my name is mark natanch barshak, i am in a way - looking after this city and its environs, i need your talent in one very interesting and risky business. ninel, the premiere of a multi-part film. soon on the first, and you know that i have a patron, an adult appeared, thanks to whom i am here, and not in a cell, and what is it worth, you know? this evening we gathered in our studio

of a wonderful company, we tell a funny story history. dear friends, let's look at the screen. good. my god, how, how elegant you all are today. thank you, and i, like me, just, yes, yes, you know, everyone unanimously says, there is, they say you, something of this, and, mind you, no one knows what exactly, mrs. monika, recently discovered a secret on how to get rid of any troubles, she says, stand with your back to them, they will be behind you, we traveled along bam there, terrible conditions, in some trucks, i got a terrible radiculitis, finally we found ourselves in irkutsk, in a good room, suite, suddenly after this terrible road, and

in the evening we have to have a concert, i say, miss, i say, i can’t, i say, i have sciatica, i won’t go on stage, i say, you know, there’s such a way, you need to somehow unexpectedly hit the sciatica, then you’ll be so nervous, and it will pass, so somehow lie in wait, hit me and... so they started getting ready for the concert, so i’m standing there, collecting things, doing all this, they left the door open for the waiter to bring lunch, the bear, so he quietly creeps up to me, as he gives me radiculitis, i hear the sound of falling dishes, it was the waiter who brought it, so this is the vip order and i dropped everything out of fear, seeing how he crept up on me and hit me, so, do you remember this is misha, right? i screamed like that, i paid a huge amount of money for the broken dishes, the radiculitis did not go away,

we were late for the concert, hungry, we arrived because we did not have time to eat anything, but misha with all this, i screamed at him so much, i say that i could not look, it was impossible to quarrel with him, i definitely did not ... a revolutionary play, the action took place on ship, the scenery was in the form of, so to speak, a cut-out ship, and here is the revolutionary , there were white guards standing below, that is, with guns, i remember in which theater it was, but our revolutionary was on, the hero, he was flying out on a rope, there were such platforms, he was flying out on a rope at a certain moment, and flying, that is, he turned. the white guards were fixing, there were scoundrels, well, in general, some text, they were turning around, shooting, he was dying, the rope

was quickly going into another wings, there was his assembler, standing on the platform, in a robe, that is, we are working, he handed it to him, he took it off and an empty rope flew out, an image that he died, perished, the image broke, an empty rope, music and so on, the actor charges up, he gives a good push, the white guards fly out, bastards, a scoundrel, they pah-pah, he hangs on the rope, flies there, but he pushed so hard that this, you mean, stagehand, he tries to catch him, he flies, but such inertia that he already goes back, and the stagehand understands that he can’t take him off or anything, understands that everything is already falling. then he has nothing left to do but jump on this rope, they, damn, but because of the weight, they are heavy, only

it does not have time to reach the same wings, and he and he, and this means the corpse is hanging, and he looks, here he looks at the people, at the viewer, which means, naturally, all these extras who played the white guards, naturally laugh. the two of them were still inexperienced then and tiger grabbed the father, that's what is called how he

just took him and holds him he quietly says to them and how much? take a stick now, you know, take a stick, but no sudden movements, slowly, slowly, and with all your might on the head, i hope that the tiger will be shocked, take it slowly, take it slowly, ready, just calmly, with all your might, come on, and now the tiger. speaking, a performance, here is also the soviet, well, they are generally wonderful storytellers, in short , i saw a little bit of a circus, in short, there is such a number, when this long pole, there this sits on the pole, yes

, it is very dangerous, i always look at this and that means the performance is going on. he holds, yes, on his head, and that means, yes, that's it, a jump, ugh, ugh, and something there somehow, so he slowly can't do it, starts, goes, goes, goes, that's it, that one with the insurance, well, the insurance holds him, and this pole somewhere there in the hall, and someone hits him on the head, the spectator, shock, they stopped, soviet theater, scandal. the director panics, well, that's it, prison, there's god knows what the passage is, they called for something there, put him in the hospital, about two weeks pass, i run to the director's office , there came this man, who i ended up with now, the director is all wet, dense, you don't know anything, well, that's it, now what will he ask for, the courts will drag him around, accept, come on, that's it, he comes in, hello, hello, hello, director, what's up, he says,

no, yes, you know, the pole hit the chapter, yes, i know what you want, i didn't finish watching the second act, can i have a ticket, so, there's a ballet selfide, the action takes place in scotland, in scotland men wear kilts, there was some winter performance and... flu, in general, 38 temperature, you have to dance there in the evening, i drank all sorts of fever-reducing pills, in the first act the main character doesn't leave the stage at all, and in the second he has a couple of times there, you can run in, well, basically the whole first act i was sweating so much, basically i ran in during the intermission, everything was wet, i

took off absolutely everything and well... they started drying it, then we got dressed, and men's underwear, in ballet, is a very thong, usually flesh-colored, and since it's in a kilt, well, there are also panties. and so, the second act begins with

a selphid flying and i have to run after her from the hill, and while i was playing i'll dodge. i'm standing in warm-up pants, warming up, at some point, well, as always, i'm like that i was jumping, jumping there, when it was necessary they were already talking there, when she flew, i took off my pants, threw them and ran after her, and i'm jumping, jumping, that's it, they gave me a summons, she starts to fly, i take off my pants, the costume designer is standing below, i say, panties, i ran, but there's nothing to do, i'm half an act, i won't go in, and since this is ballet, the girls in the wings are already all squatting and laughing at him , the stage is already coming out, as if everyone who was standing behind and suddenly. i run, then, behind the scenes, he tells me , well, ken is dancing, ken, well, there's something to look at

, he quickly gives me these swimming trunks, i put them on, i finish dancing the play, this little piece, and the management comes with a reprimand, they say to me, how are you? recently we had, you know, again our yulia, dear, she plays agafya tikhovna, and i play one of the grooms in the marriage, boltazar baltazarovich zhivakin, an old retired lieutenant, and there, you know,

that's right, and before i explain myself to her, kochkarev tells her, drive him away from me, you know, she says, well, such a pretty girl, yes, yes, such a pretty girl, what are you saying, it seemed to me that he was such a good person, yes? yes, yes, i say, how so, and it seemed to me that he is just a very good person, this one says: so he gets drunk, i say: more? yes, yes, he leaves, yes, i go out, and i have to throw him out, and i say, a strange person, he promised to praise suddenly dropped, but you don’t believe me, forgive me, i need to go, my head hurts. i don’t feel well here, well, tell me honestly, maybe you don’t like something about me, i don’t know, something you don’t like, yes, and i show myself to her around my axis, maybe you don’t like something about me

like, yulia, well, let's do it again, again, yes, i do it sharply again, well, she's practically feasting, here in this rag, you can see it, yes, we have a carpet there, it got tangled up and i fall right with my head at her feet, the hall is in shock. naturally, i have to somehow steer out, she says in complete silence: really a drunkard, i have to act out, i think, i won't get up, i'm straight from there already gogol's text, which sounded like never before, now madam, don't look that i have a small bald spot here. it's nothing, it's from the fever, hair, hair will grow now, and i, i jump up, i'm already standing up, incredible laughter, and then the theme of drinking was 100%, because there was

further, she leaves, it's hair now you, what are you saying, and for you it's good, i don't care at all anymore, whatever you have there, goodbye, yes, i say, sir, and if i put on a black frag, then my complexion will be whiter, but in this case... i say it differently, sir, if i put on a black frag, my complexion turns from red to white, again laughter in the audience, because the theme of drinking, that's how we played it out fall, dear friends, let's look at the screen, comrades, i propose to hold a public trial of nikita bogoslovsky, i propose to elect utesov as the chairman of the court, who is for unanimous, everything is in order, good.

give me the phone, i'll dial it myself now. leonid illich will not like it at all that a bad story is being blown up around his favorite artist again, wedding, wedding, wedding, magamayev, tomorrow on the first. you claim that all the records were brought by veniamin berman on your order, absolutely right, all 40 pieces, i love music very much.

volleyball, as you haven't seen it yet? channel one cup, live broadcast, tomorrow on channel one, rise, get up, this is my office, not a public thoroughfare, get out of here, excuse me, comrade colonel, you'll go to switzerland. according to

the election legend, your target is swiss general henri guzon, hitler is ready for war, it's about to start, there are strangers in our village, two men in a black mercedes, i think they're interested in you, you'll go with us, you'll most likely be sent to the gulag, fights, illegal life colonel rybkina, next saturday on the first, having started writing, i seemed to have been resurrected, i worked under my ninth surname voskresenskaya, all my books were for children, i did not write a single line about foreign intelligence, which gave 25 years of life, now we will break for a short commercial, and ... for

it we will again in our studio talk about the curiosities happening behind the scenes. this evening we gathered in our studio to tell stories and funny stories. let's look at the screen. warmly lie girl. are you old, are you crazy? do you see my hands and feet are frozen? what kind of monster is this? it was funny when they put me under this tree, that is, i settled down there, when i opened this bag, they told me that there would be apples, there would be milk, but it was a difficult time, the food situation was not great. so the woman who

was in charge of the props, she told me, this, this is not milk, this is some kind of lime, this is something like that, boldly, hanging water, when i and i saw several onions, oh my god, and there were also four or five dobles, these onions were enough for all the takes, aleksandrovich is shouting, we are filming everything, and i... this onion, as if it were something sweet and tasty, an apple, one take, then a second, a second take, a third take, it seems to me that i ate four onions,

at this wedding, this piglet was doused with kerosene, well, yes, so that they wouldn’t eat it, so that we wouldn’t have a scene with a piglet, so we got together and ate everything, we filmed for 4 days, you can see that... again this woman in charge of props, the one in charge of props, she foresaw everything, so that the piglet was alive, pink, with black eyes, but no one touched either the piglet or any tasty snack, because everything was sort of preserved for all 4 days, and they just didn’t want to go near it. sveta, i have one question for you, i think you can guess what, of course, your wonderful parodies are all great, but not every person can play an organ of the human body, you know, of course,

our beloved lena malysheva, she is an amazing person, because every time lenochka comes up to me and says some words, i... good morning, dear friends, it's great to live on channel one when you're the director of channel one, for now we just have a program about medicine, i'm with you, elena malysheva, i need two volunteers from the audience, great, i ask you, you know, we have a wonderful vitamin salad, you can try it. just imagine that this salad is a person infected with arvi, yes, who is riding next to you on the subway, on the bus, well, maybe just lives next to you, yes, you see, just like the salad is about to lick on your face, just like the microbes lick the mucous membrane of our nose, yes, when we are in

close proximity to the source of infection, you see, oh, you see, you see, what happens when we are warned, we are far from the source of infection, bravo, young man, but there is one thing, but. what if the source of infection suddenly sneezed? you see, you see, in this case only a gauze bandage will help. understand? thanks to our volunteers. but you had to play the amazing object. here. i thought that i it will pass, no.

but they look at me and say, no, light, yes, let's do it a little simpler, i say, guys, well, i'm an actress, well , it's kind of boring on my own, well, let's look for the grain of the role, well, what is she like, age, character , well, so we recorded a couple of takes, three, there i looked for this grain a little, she says, no, just like that on my own, i recorded it just like that, in a small way, very simply, i come, so, the next day to ostankino, all the makeup , costume, i say, girl... i have something fluffy there, probably striped with wings, there is no such costume, and one of the women brings me such a big velvet circle. it has two things hanging from the sides, this is yours, they tell me, i say, no,

no, no, there is a queen bee, there must be a costume with some kind of wings, only here i understand what my mistake was, this misunderstanding, this one, that is, i thought that i would play a queen bee, but it turned out that i did play, i will play a human, female one, in a word, i am not ashamed of what i played, because i am like an artist.

this is the kind of cute queen we have, this is what she is honey, these are the ovaries, these are the fallopian tubes, this is the body of the uterus, the head of the beautiful actress svetlana galka, in front of you is a simple russian uterus, i want to ask you a question, what if i feel bad? women and people don’t even know where some of their organs are, so this medical show, it helps, i’m in awe,

this is a real story, i was reminded of it, so, at one of the performances suddenly a cry from the audience, let’s talk about bees, and i haven’t performed this number yet, we approach the hive, the groom listened, says, lucky, there are no bees in the house, listen, they're not buzzing, i say, but they seem to be sleeping, he says, they should be snoring, and opens the lid, he tells me, choose a frame, i say, well, i can't see anything, it's dark, he says, we'll make a fire now, that's what i thought, why am i worried, i think, i don't have a family, my job is a bastard, i have so many debts, i could rip my own faces out, i lit a match, felt the frame, i felt the frame move,

i brought the match closer, and there were a bunch of seasoned bees, serious faces, everyone was looking at me, the groom says: freeze, pretend nothing happened you know, and tell me what 's going on there. i say, it seems the bees have returned, by the way, this one with the cheeks, andrey was asking me what you put in there, and he was apparently impressed and left, and nuts are okay, by the way, but i found - a secret, foam balls, they're soft and don't ruin your teeth, so well i...

i said, first stand up, i 'll look at you, and an incredibly plump woman stands up, smiles, her cheeks are burning, she's so sincere, she'll want to cry, and you know what i blurted out, i said, in one monologue, it's... she's very smart and says: i don't feel sorry, we started a dialogue with her, i say, i definitely don't feel sorry, i don't have change, she doesn't, i don't need change, i say, well then, since you have such generous spectators in your city, i'll perform this number for free, and i performed this number, suddenly this woman gets up, the stage moves inexorably, already a male voice, and the debt is painted with payment, yes, yes, yes? a male voice from the audience shouts: he's going to pay, that's it, they're all, they're all already

joking, laughter, she goes to the microphone and says: yes, come on. silence, that's all drum roll, suddenly she takes a jar of honey out of her huge handbag, and what do you think? i, i am glad that we will be shown after the time program, dear friends, i am very glad that we have gathered today, i am sure that we will return to our studio more than once with... funny, amusing and stories, dear friends, i say goodbye to you until next week, i wish all our guests a wonderful mood.

safe journey, thank you, thank you, oh, i can already see these crowds of people, a bunch of chinese, russians, who isn't there, i hope you 'll have bought everything by the time i arrive, well, two days should

be enough, so, when i arrive there will be no shops, okay, fine, i'll try, try, i'm already starting. me too, really, yes, we'll see each other in 2 days, m, i love you, and i love you, i've already flown, and i just got there, you see, it's faster to fly to paris than to get there from shiremeti center, just switch to a bicycle, good afternoon, hello, take it, have a look, offers to buy a hotel in st. petersburg, the price seems pretty good, you know, st. petersburg, alena said relatives there, right? yes, grandma lives there, five stars, sakisskaya square center, very interesting, need to look at the condition, maybe good profit, well that's great, do it, i need to give an answer by the end of the month, let's go, how are things, alena, i just wanted to talk to you, we've been in

the same place for almost a year, you love her, yes, i do too, this unites us, you can propose to her. you wanted to talk about this today, right? yes, thank you, well i wanted to ask permission first, buy a ring, i already bought it, it's accommodating, get out with her to the efilovy tower forward, she dreamed about this since childhood, about what? and the proposal on the efilovy tower, seriously, right at the top, only i didn't tell you this, will be insanely happy, i don't understand anything about rings at all, oh, a nice ring, how much does it cost? really, it means you love her, it seems to me, yes, it seems i do, you're 100% sure, i just said, listen, leave me alone, i can't tell you anything, you start right away, i don't start, he starts, he's an idiot, i'm an idiot, they'll show me on tv tonight, i'm telling you, listen to me, then, let's drink to you, to alena, to your future father-in-law, and let's have a bachelor party today, by the way,

a club opened nearby, come on, i can't , i have things to do tomorrow, me too, let's stop by for a while, well, i know, i'm like you for a while, that alena is calling, well, that's it. the guy is gone, if i become like that, please kill me quickly, well, how's the weather there, well, the shops are so-so, it's nice outside, in general it's very beautiful here, of course, though i hardly see any simpletons, they probably don't go to the shops, in we'll eat in restaurants, i heard they even take out loans from the bank to eat in restaurants, i rule it out, i'll be home soon, i'll call you a package, okay, i love you and i kiss you, help a young musician, i don't have cash, but we accept credit cards, jewelry, coins will do too, i have 5,000, and we won't refuse, yes, for 5,000 i can go to a concert youtube, you can, i can too, we can even go together, we'll sit, very far away, we'll sit with a telescope somewhere, this is such an exclusive, this exclusive can even be on your shirt describe, listen, they are so talented, well, really, that those, well, yes, not wildly

talented, they have everything ahead of them, you? with them, i'm their agent, okay, i just made a bet with the guys that in half an hour i'll collect more money for them than they do without me in a week, let me read a poem, will you like it, i'm somehow indifferent to chicks, not my sport, well, no, so no, well, only i don't know how to take, if i don't like it, i'll say so, there was a happy transition here, from months of melancholy to unforeseen worries, december was smoking, the year was ending, there was enough aspirin at night, wine...

they kept a reserved silence, lovers sometimes shouted, we were not in the mood for jokes and here and there in families to draw a precise segment on the time scale of madness, from temporary feeblemindedness, i will not be able to, god will forgive, this is all, you thought i was on you...