if we take super early childhood, for example, i was in intensive care twice, i had problems with my lungs and they always took me away, my parents were not allowed there, of course, that is, i went there, for example, in an ambulance, i arrived at the hospital alone, alone and i remember it very well, then there is anesthesia, well , naturally you don’t remember, you wake up alone too, but you are very scared, well, this is for example, and how old were you, well, about three, but this is not for example, this is exactly the place that hurts? this feeling is similar now, that you experience when your husband leaves for that feeling when you woke up in intensive care? it seems like, well, that is, it’s not about him, the thing is that this fear hasn’t gone away, it’s just the most, and why are you calming yourself down, because calmness is easier, well, calmness may be easier, but it will be harder to live through what we are now trying to understand. to live through, it’s just the last

very moment, well, emotionally similar to what was there when i was 3 years old, that was just when my son was born, we have moreover, it was supposed to be a partner birth, that is, the husband had to be present, but he was not in the city at that moment, that is , nothing depended on him, it was all a mess anyway, no, well, he should have... just - all like that, well , that is, everything that happened, he went very quickly, that is, he was born very quickly, in general, somehow super quickly, and the husband appeared when everything had already passed, actually, he came to everything ready, the very moment was such that just when, well, they also lifted him into the ward, it turns out, there was just a nurse there looked and well, she also left, and already everything was like some processes were going on. in the hospital and you

were all alone and i really wanted to say that someone was nearby, then it was just, it was very scary, of course, you joked that he was a bastard, but to me, i don’t think that he was a bastard, but to me it was very direct too, of course, very, not you think that he was a bastard, but that little girl thinks that he was a bastard because he was not nearby. because it’s as if you can’t protect yourself, you’ve already grown up, you’re a grown woman who in in general, you can somehow control your life, but no matter what you do in such situations, you still end up alone, and if you didn’t learn this, well, i mean, get used to the fact that in such situations you are always alone, for some reason you always think that the next situation like this won’t happen, i just don’t know, i don’t know how to find this... inside myself, i get consolation at this

moment, that is, when i was little there, my parents gave me this little dinosaur, which in the hospital, kind of reminded me that i'm not alone, of course, maybe i need to get myself a dinosaur like that, this dinosaur was more of a distraction. of course, you can get one now, but all the same it will be some part of such an analgesia of the pain that you experience, and what if you don't analgesia it, what if you live through it, well, now you were also scared, you felt uneasy before the start, well, this is exactly the same fear as when you give birth in intensive care. and the fear is the same, and there is no one

around, how do you live through this fear, i want to strangle it inside myself, and what will it remain if you strangle it? well, i hope that it will be nothing, that it will be somehow empty and calm, i'm afraid that it won't be calmer in emptiness, that's the thing, because this fear, it seems to tell you all the time that you are alive, it protects you in many ways, i didn't think that fear could be a signal that i am alive, such a thought. and most importantly, it is recognizable, it seems to be a signal that a reminder that you have been in so many situations that could have ended, yes, badly, so to speak, but you have been through through them, you know how to be with it, and this is fear again, that is, in essence, this fear that was born there in the hospital, in intensive care, when you stayed there in the emergency room, alone without your parents, if... of course, at 3 years old someone could

teach you that you need to interact with this fear, and not with a dinosaur, then this fear prompts, it shows you the fact that you are alive, so simple. well, on the one hand, it’s simple, and it cannot be, well, rejected, it certainly shouldn’t be stifled, it’s worth staying in contact with it, well you have children now, if god forbid the child has something wrong with his health, you, as a normal mother, will also give him to the ambulance there, they will take him to the hospital and he will be alone, and at that moment, what will you feel when he is there alone, you as a mother, what will you feel, i don’t know, it seems to me that my heart will break, okay, that is...

which you cause him, or he does not want to cause you any severe pain, he leaves because he cannot stand the pain, he leaves in order to breathe, but at that the moment he leaves, he feels exactly the same as you, the same fear, his heart is also breaking, but instead of joining in this sympathy for his emotions, his experiences, at that moment, of course , we think that the partner is a bastard who does not understand that i feel bad here, well, of course, he feels good, he breathes, yes, at that moment your mind begins to come up with different kinds of explanations for you, for what reason you should be sure that you are right and he is not, because as if there is an idea that it is more difficult for me, that if in a couple has a conflict, then it is more difficult for one,

the other one is of course great, he is breathing, everything is fine with him, well yes, they know exactly what they are talking about, at that moment... after all, our very attitude makes us concentrate our attention on ourselves, this is such a higher form of egoism, well, because it hurts me more than everyone else at that moment, but this is not entirely true, because at that moment when we feel bad, others around us also feel bad, but to direct your attention to what is bad for others does not seem possible, in fact it is possible to think, i have this fear, i'm afraid that i'm going to die now, and he 's not around, that i'm alone again, and no one is protecting me, and he feels the same thing there, he experiences the same thing, just on the street, let's say, somewhere, i think that our conversation would not have happened if he had come back drunk after that, because he went out there to get drunk with friends, came back after 2 days,

yes, well, most likely we wouldn't have talked about this, we are talking about something else, about the fact that your relationship today has value for both of you, this value needs to be find exactly, community, this experience, it can be your common one, and yes, it will give birth to love, because well, there , as it were, only love will remain. are you watching the triggers podcast, our guest today is tatyana, with whom we are talking about how to cope with the fear of loneliness in family relationships? it turns out that at the moment of such a situation, in order to cope with it, you need to switch your focus to ... the experience of another person, first you need to not look for a dinosaur, direct your attention to the fear that signals you that, that you are alive here now, and this is the first thing that will remove, well, such a strong unbearable anxiety

regarding, well, the fact that i will die now, that is, i am afraid, it means i am alive right here now, when this removes such tension from the fear of death, you will have... there is anger, rage, resentment, the feeling that i am not needed, i admit such a thought, i always succeed in this, but when i succeed, it is great, i admit that perhaps he is also not as good now as i imagine, perhaps we are in the same boat, this experience, it

in general, then, if he feels bad too, then it levels our positions and then i start to think, okay, so i'm not alone? whose world has collapsed, probably the same thing is happening to him, it allows me to come out in some constructive way, absolutely for sure, well after the quarrel, when all the emotions are already gone. only at that moment there are emotions, as if you don't see it, when everything is already passing, well of course, because we immediately run away into the tunnel, i'm not needed, yes, but if we assume, after all this is an equal situation, yes, it is neutral, we don't know whether i am needed or no, then maybe... it's worth choosing, what if we need each other, we need each other, but we have such a conflict, then

a lot of pain is removed, then you want to meet halfway, there is also such an important moment that you are talking about, tatyana, when you say that if he does not come on time, i begin to think that i am not important, my word is not important, it does not mean anything, yes, you are not important at this moment, at this moment work is more important, at this moment it is more important. well, something else is a traffic jam ultimately more important than you, he does not is at this moment next to you, but why are you looking for this importance in another, and not in yourself, why don’t you have anything to do during these 15 minutes when you are waiting for him, that ’s the thing, of course, there is, of course, there is, but something at this moment gives you reason to believe that everything is very unfair, yes, well, let’s talk about injustice, what kind of injustice is yours, well, if it’s just so hyper...

i’ll be there in an hour, for example, i’m there by this time, for example, i’m preparing dinner, well, there ’s something there, that we’re all there now, all family, and he can stay there for a while, everything will cool down, everything is already there, the mood is already over, while you are already waiting, this is some kind of injustice, well, we kind of agreed, well, for example, this is just everything, that is, can you imagine that he is sitting there at work and thinking, well, yes, i promised, but no, no big deal, i'll come later, well

, rather, it happens there that he arrives there, then oh, i decided on the way this, this, this, that, there that i didn't warn, and i sometimes , for example, give up on my plans at this moment, because he is waiting now, this is important for me, that we are about to have dinner, and i, for example, could have had some kind of call there, well, or... to work out something, well, some little things there, which i put aside for these half an hour, because first there is family, then this, let's say, and it turns out that he first chooses this, then family, well, it seems to me, this is just normal, and why do you choose the other way around, well, why are you between a call, which is about work, as i understand it, and that, to cook dinner and sit, wait for him, because he may be late at this moment, you choose to sit and wait, well, for example, you agreed that you will be home at 7:00, yes, you cooked dinner by 7 o'clock? but the person is not home at 7 o'clock, well, you had dinner and went to call, for example, yeah, he came, finished eating, what

was left, cold, maybe you are working at this time, let's say, or you are taking care of children, why is such a picture impossible, it is possible, but in reality it is, if such situations develop, that is, when i, let's say, okay, it will turn into a quarrel anyway, but let's say, because he comes, he demands attention to himself, that is, i came. you couldn't do all your things there while i was gone, here i am, give me attention, yes, but how can i give you attention if at the time when i could do all my things, i was waiting for you, so there is a feeling that i am waiting for you - this is some kind of your business, so i call and say, tanya, what are you doing, waiting for your husband, well, this is somehow stupid, no, this is definitely stupid, but you can do it answer, that's the thing, i'm wondering how you wait for him, well, like you go out into the house like where are you, where are you? but look there, where is it, where is it, it's freezing outside, there's a blizzard,

what's there, no, i'm doing some things, well , like in my head, that's the thing, but the results of this, this activity has no result, yes, it's absolutely meaningless, and if you make it meaningful at least once, just wait, i don't know what you 'll do while doing this, what will it mean, i 'm waiting, you can walk around the room, for example, back and forth, back and forth, there. here you can, for example, or you can stand like this and stand like a dog, look at the door like this , when i had a dog, my family members told me and this is not a legend, but a reality, they told me. about the fact that he always sat down in front of the door there 7-8 minutes before my arrival and looked at the door like this and there it meant that in 7-8 minutes i would come in, to be honest, i don’t really believe that owls can count time, or that at such a distance, perhaps he felt my smell, i don't know, yes, but it doesn't matter, but this is what's called waiting, yeah, that is, the dog, she

waited like this, she looked at the door for her beloved owner to come, and she did n't care that the house was full of people, maybe they could give him food or something else, he wasn't distracted, he waited, well, try to wait like that, sit down on the little one now i can talk, look, we agreed with you that you come at 7:00, so know whether you'll come or not, at 7:00 i sit down opposite the door, no need to say anything to my husband, 20 minutes, i wait, no need to say anything to my husband, you have to sit down and wait so that you can see, and in general the stupidity of this activity, the absurdity of the situation, the absurdity of this situation. and stop doing it, then you will do all those things that you usually do, but you will simply stop waiting for this, that's exactly the same question i asked my son when he was still in school, what are you doing at school, i study at school, what does that mean, i go to school, well, you can go to school and not study, in general, what did he manage to do, you can, i'm sitting in class, you can sit in class, not study, you can, i listen to

the teacher, you can listen to the teacher not study, you can, i answer there, you can answer and not study,

in childhood, soviet films about the war , yes, there were, well, i can’t remember the names of these films now, but there were such films, when they say, who is this, they say, this is afrasinya, a soldier’s wife, waiting for her husband, what does it mean , waiting for her husband, here she has been waiting for him for six years, well , how does she wait, she gives birth to children there at this time, i don’t know, she walks, feeds, looks after the cow there and still waits, because here this state of waiting, it seemed to have appeared in him...

makes us transfer this act of disrespect to another person, therefore the conflict i now imagined myself in your husband's place and when

this expectation went away i just wanted to come home. i wanted to come home, because you have some kind of interesting life there, because you are doing well there, that's where, in fact, it is generally like that, when you take all this away, yes even sergey said that one situation would be enough to wait for such a thing, even in my, in my, in my head i have already imagined it and i don't really want to play it anymore, so next time when he asks you something like what to do? and you say i'm waiting for you, well i think that there will be a jolt from this answer, thank you, it's just such a revelation, yes, because like, well , unfortunately, i say, it... they loaded all sorts of elements into my consciousness, when you have to wait for someone or there, that i'm waiting, well , you wait well, that is, he will come joyfully,

he won't come, well, well, he won't come, but you you are busy with your own life at this time, that’s when the meaning of waiting becomes, then this waiting man, remember, there was such a, there was such a doll waiting man, well, you are watching the podcast triggers, today tatyana is our guest, with whom we are talking about how to cope with the fear of loneliness in family relationships, there is fear in this loneliness, we have isolated it, there is this waiting man, waiting man, and i don’t care what else is there, how you feel it, well , i have already basically described it, i just don’t know how else to say it in more detail, if about the fear, how i feel it, that it seems that... i'm going to die now, how does it feel in the body or what in general? like in the body, well, this feeling, there is such an expression, like the ground is slipping out from under your feet, it

is so banal, but it is very - reflects in principle, that is - it seems that you have no strength at all in your legs, that you have some kind of cold here and that's it, now you will fall and die, something like that, well, that is some kind of such a feeling, then it is clear that you will not die, that is, that is, i say, this rational part, it is like that like calm, everything is fine. here, but the feelings, they are like this, well, this loneliness, after all, it is such an intellectual construction, because inside it and no one needs me, this meaninglessness, and disrespect for me, and my unimportance, that is, all this, in fact, gives birth to the idea of ​​​​loneliness, but in fact , loneliness is just me alone, there is no one, yes, well, that's how it is, you are alone and there is no one, you just need to remove all these strange ... speculations from there, because they can't even be called meanings, convictions, there will remain this pure loneliness alone, which needs to be experienced, in general, the value of which

cannot be underestimated, overestimated, or rather, pardon me, because this is the loneliness with which we come, with which we will leave, it never goes away, it is a very pleasant unity, i also encounter it, well, that is, the fact that in this loneliness you cope with some... it's great and i feel very good alone and as a mother of two children i would really like to be alone without anyone at all, including without a husband, but at this moment for some reason, well, i am now

i understand why, i saw why, that it’s just that somehow he seems to rip you open, he returns you there to that intensive care unit where you are alone, but as we have already found out, you cope, you are very tenacious , very tenacious, well, in general it becomes clear, right? that firstly, fear is always a good indicator that you are alive, i am all good, yes, secondly, switch attention to the fact that the partner is also feeling not the most positive positive emotions now, and thirdly, tear out the focus of yours, the spear of your attention, tear it out of this expectation, that there is to do this expectation, and a very conscious action in order to see its absurdity, i understood, this is very, this is very, this is very strong, thank you, thank you very much. thank you very much, well, i - it's just that the puzzles are coming together for me a little bit, what you were talking about now, and i, for example, also

remembered a painful situation for me, how i was a period of time when i did not communicate with my dad, we did not talk for 4 years, and i now remembered that in general in the case when it was hard for me there as a child, i was sick, well, not in intensive care, at home, for example, something was happening. the person who was always there, dad, always, he just canceled all his business, at that moment was, it was not often, but i mean, i was not often sick, but there were situations when he dropped everything, there he cooked me this chicken soup, here he was next to me, let's say, and this is how love is expressed for you, well, including, yes, of course, well and need, yes and necessity, and why didn't you talk to dad for 4 years, and this is generally a big, long story, also absurd. my parents separated and this well, somehow, somehow, it affected them both, so how old were you, when were you 25,

that is, it was. no, and you didn’t talk to your dad after 25, yes, it was, it was, yes , and he, well, i think that he was experiencing this breakup in his own way, and i apparently was also experiencing this breakup somehow, and mom there, well, in general, it’s just that at some point he, well, i think that he just decided to be alone, so there were some attempts to get in touch with him, but they didn’t... weren’t met with success, yes, they were met with success, plus it was a period, when i moved to moscow, that is, it was only 4 years ago, and he stayed in my hometown, chelyabinsk, so we didn’t see each other, yeah, we started communicating normally, we restored relations, when i arrived there, when i met him in person, we somehow talked, something happened there, well , some kind of chemistry, i don’t know in a good sense,

now... we maintain very warm, good relations, well, that is, essentially , dad just needed to be alone, yes, i think so, something was happening with him and you you don’t know, but these 4 years, as i understand, weren’t very good for you either, they were very painful for me, very much, i also tried and went to some kind of constellations, i tried something with this, we tried to sort it out with a coach, and as if you also rationally understand everything, that you, for example, have a person’s choice to communicate with you or not, but inside...

in general, i don’t know what’s happening to him, i have some kind of picture from childhood that my dad loves me, but now this is not there, and i suffer from some kind of illusion, this is the only idea that i had, and i think, well, probably, maybe that's how it is, i decided to break this illusion, to meet him in person, actually , this is what helped me in the end, that is , a personal meeting, it somehow put everything in its place, and dad, when this solo voyage left, and he somehow told you that now. the period when i need to be, no, he was just offended, at you, at you, yes, at me personally, because i did not congratulate him on february 23, yeah, that is, everything it was good, good, everything was perfect, then you didn't look at me, didn't congratulate me, i was in another country at that moment, well, in general, and, well, i think, there, probably, a lot can be that there really is a lot, because it is obvious that at that moment he was worried, troubles, it seemed to him that you thus took the position of mom there, now there is no point in inventing, yes

, this. dad, probably, already told you everything, well, okay, he was offended, offended, but instead of sending his inner self on this voyage, for some reason you suffered about the fact that dad is not talking to you, and this, this is also an important moment, because we are talking now, but the viewers who are watching us, they discover something new about themselves, because, for example, about making the wait a meaningful action, believe me, you will not stand it for more than 15 minutes, yes, i think, now it will help a lot.

came after 4 years and talked, so too, it is a pity that not earlier, yes, yes, well, it was the podcast lab triggers, and its host tatyana krasnovskaya, and sergey nasyabyan, we talked to tatyana about how to make the process of waiting a conscious activity, and how, in general, to cope with the fear that we experience in moments when our loved ones cannot be next to us, because we want it that way. all of you... you can watch the episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel 1tv.ru, and if you are interested in sorting out your situation or solving some of your issues with us in this studio, you can fill out the questionnaire, which you will find on the website 1tv.ru.

hello, dear viewers, on the air channel one podcast melodies of my life, i am its host, valery syutkin, and today i have a guest... theater and film actor, who owns his velvety voice, dmitry dyuzhev. hello, dmitry. hello, valerochka, dear, thank you for the invitation. good night, dear viewers, that today with us is sergey osokin on the accordion. together with seryozha, we play in the light jazz project. this podcast melody of my life, it allows you to learn more from our guest through music, because music is the best keeper. some small details that don't come to us without music, and of course, we always start with the melody of childhood, here

dmitry dyuzhev was born, by the way, where did it happen, it happened in the city of astrakhan, mom was nine months pregnant, they also lived in alma-ata, dad worked in... in the lermontov russian drama theater, and on the morning of july 9, mom started crying, i want to go to mom, i want to go to mom, dad somehow buys two plane tickets from alma-ata, astrakhan, they arrive, at mom's, it begins contractions, they arrived, an ambulance, my mother, pregnant with me, is being taken to the maternity hospital, the maternity hospital in astrakhan is located on the seventeenth pier, where on the second sunday and the caspian sea they floated ships loaded with fireworks, so they bring my mother to the maternity hospital at 9:15 in the evening, lift her up to

the operating room, as soon as it all begins, the fireworks start to roar, boom, people shout, hurray, my mother remembers, you say, you were born, the midwives say, they are running, oh my god, who was born? i have never in my life heard a more artistic story about the birth of a child i heard, that's what it means dramatic actor came, i just saw this movie, you know, all astrakhan barge with watermelons, dmitry dyuzhem, we have guests, dim, after all, that's how astrakhan actor and... you inherited from dad a remarkable acting really, and dad loved music, we had records, and of course we had records and soyuz-cartoon and little red riding hood, separate

bremen town musicians, there was a separate record that was spinning, i want to tell you, after all, music is the password of a generation, you are not the first person who comes to visit me in childhood. for me too the bremen town musicians - this is some kind of direct luck for our children this music by gennady golotkov to the poems of yuriyentin continues to sound tell me do you have experience in voicing cartoons in your career of course i have several cartoons that i voiced, did different roles with voice coloring, expressed a psychological portrait of the character, tell me, when did you not know. such smart words, and there was a young dima dyuzhev, an astrakhan guy, he grows up, in his youth, well, it is clear that with you were already, so to speak, to some extent, directed by your dad's profession, well, here's youth,

the melody of youth, what you listened to in your teens and what you played, so to speak, the melody of youth, it is associated with such a melody by teraverdiev from 17 moments of spring. here as a melody, and as a song, you know, i was an absolute fan of our soviet film the three musketeers, i dreamed of being one of them, i dreamed of taking a sword, in fact, we ran out into the yard, took branches, all this, performed this is of course our domestic film, where mikhail sergeyevich boyarsky, where smekhov, where is smirnitsky, valentin georgievich, yes, valentin georgievich and i have been playing together for 20 years already, the play free love, when did you start to know for sure that

the acting profession is your life path, when was this decision made by you, i dreamed of going to the marikhodka, in astrakhan, this is valor and honor itself, these shene. moment father, when we watched a theatrical skit with him, he saw that i started laughing, started asking who it was, why they were doing this, this is not kvn, and it seems like no other programs, it's just students of the theater institute, and he then said: "dimochka, you dream of becoming a sailor, but if you enter the theater institute, you can be a sailor, a lifeguard and..." a hero and anyone, you

can try yourself in one life, try yourself in different professions, in different characters of people, convinced you, dad, convinced you so much that i went to the theater institute and entered mark anatolevich zakharov, mark anatolevich, right from the first time, yes then there was such a popular melody: everyone sang it at my place first love happened like this in the shadow of a siren a second a second this is this is carmen the group really i don't remember yeah it's not important we'll just remind you the self-sounding there seryozha there do you remember there about the london introduction then something brutal male refrain some kind of was after that.

cinema is an extra, it's like an actor

in crowd scenes, i lived in a hostel on trifonovskaya, at night after 12 - a friend from another year knocked on my door and said: listen, he says, there's bob zemek filming a movie, cast away, it's outcast with tom hanks, they need extras, there is something like that, yeah, okay, such a level right away, i just came running at night .

i am its host valery syutkin, today dmitry dyuzhev is with us, you already said a little that during the period when you studied with mark zakharov under his guidance, the melody of love, here of course, moscow life spun you around, that's what kind of music it is, tell me, well, of course, all the pieces that mark anatolyevich staged were favorites, we all, of course, learn them. namely you, and you

should be 100% ready, whenever you called, and this happened during rehearsals and often everyone was in good shape, waiting, when i, when i, when i, give me, give me, give me, and, of course, this is a song that did not leave anyone indifferent, alexandra sirova, when i met, got acquainted with my future wife, tanechka, i also asked, what is your favorite song, and what would you like me to perform for you? and something like that, she said: sirova, i love you to tears, dear tanya, first of all for you, for you, tv viewers, dmitry dyuzhev, velvet baretone, since we have absolute improvisation in choosing songs, song, i love you to tears, music by igor krutov, words,

attention by igor nikolaev, many do not know, it was igor nikolaev who wrote the words of this song, dmitry. dyuzhev, sergey osokin, accordion from the air. raise your eyes to the christmas sky, make a wish for everything you dream about, in life before you, i was not so happy for you alone. i love you to tears, every breath, like the first time, instead of lies, beautiful phrases, this

cloud of white petals grew, i am ours i'll make the bed, i love you to tears, i love you madly, thank you, dim, by the way, you know, now... i remembered, you have a brilliant vocal career, as an actor, not every film actor can boast, do you remember where they got them, but valery, i apologize, i don't drink much, of course, we will demand this from the pop workshop, and a singing actor

is always brilliant, you have a very juicy memorable timbre, not only. tanechka says, i would like only one song for our wedding, this is i love you to tears, i think, well where am i, how can i alexandra at all i'll find out how i can persuade him, when we got to him, he says, who do you want for free, well done, thank you, just yes, i was just incredibly happy, and that happened, well and my wife. of course, he said, how did you do it, i can't, i can't help but ask, because tv viewers are always interested in this, and as a tactful person, you can tell exactly as much as you think is necessary, but since the melody of love in your life with your wife tatyana brought wonderful children, tell us a little about

family, that's what they have today, how old are they, the kids, the eldest son ivan is 14, he will be 15 in august.