even at the level of a family psychologist, if you are already in some kind of long-term stable relationship, that is, you don’t have to be afraid of conflicts, you don’t have to be afraid of conflicts, you are absolutely right , yes, it is in conflicts that interests are very often defended, if suddenly you did not have time to outline your boundaries at the entrance to the relationship, then it makes sense to still talk to the person, and maybe even in an aggressive form, if you are already in a conflict. but communicate that you are unhappy, that you would like other options for resolving the situation, that you are different opinions, there is a point to this, that is, a red flag is when there is a fear of defending your position, the fear of defending your position was typical for me, because i had a rather strict family, in which, probably, little attention was paid to self-expression, namely in...

and self-esteem, because self-esteem is when you evaluate yourself about someone, about a person, his achievements, and you need a measure in order to evaluate yourself, it turns out that you are constantly in some kind of neurosis, and you worry about the fact that someone has more, someone is more beautiful, has more of some benefits, that is, self-esteem is connected with comparison, with comparison, and self-worth is when... you

are rooted in self-sufficiency, self-worth is when you just feel normal, good enough, and accept yourself, try to accept yourself, so people often confuse this with narcissism, because narcissism is not only a disorder, but also an accentuation of character, and people are often personalities, of course, therefore, but it is not called a disorder, that is why i say that it is clear that there is...

i think that you need to allow yourself to live a full life, and living a full life means knowing your needs, knowing what you would like, what you would not like, communicating this, including to your partner, knowing and practicing, this is self-love, this is care, and this is normal, after all, stereotypes are for those people who did not really want to understand themselves. a favorable setting in

the family, and child-parent, because when we enter into a relationship, we actually pine for our mother, as far as i know, maybe i'm confusing something, from a psychological point of view, we choose as a partner someone very familiar from influential. significant adults, if suddenly in the family there were people who behaved aggressively towards the child, if these were people who subjected the person to constant criticism, unfounded, who suppressed the will, just preventing the child from feeling good enough, worthy. person from

childhood, then - then in adulthood a person enters into a relationship and chooses for himself such a monster. which is attracts precisely these negative traits, and what was in your story that led to such a development of events in the parent-child relationship? hand on heart, i will say that it was not easy in childhood, i had a very specific relationship with my mother, with my grandmother, they were the ones who raised my older sister and me, and i really... in the image of my parents, i found myself a man who is critical, aggressive, manipulative, gaslighter, this is when they tell you that no, this did not happen, it seemed to you, and you begin

doubt yourself, or maybe i really am some kind of fool or i have some kind of distortion of perception, i'll believe the person, he seems to be loved and wishes me well, but... maybe he opens my eyes to the true state of affairs, you begin to doubt yourself. the worst thing about abuse is when you begin to doubt yourself, your adequacy, your adequacy in yourself. naturally, this was a man who had many other parallel relationships. did you know about this? let's say, at first i didn't think it was even possible, because it seemed like there were very tender, strong relationships, and many common interests. at some point, i just. i began to understand that yes, he communicates, i threw some tantrums, finding correspondence, and then i just, let's say, gave up, because i was already planning to get out of the relationship, and i realized that my attention should be focused exclusively on me, on my processes, and i clearly did not feel well,

and i went to work on my psyche from a psychologist, that is, you went to a psychologist specifically while in a relationship, i went to to a psychologist, being in a relationship, specifically because i... felt terrible, i suffered, i constantly had some kind of mood swings, nervous breakdowns because of the situation with the young man, i wonder, did he support you in going to a psychologist, moreover, he did not just support me, he pointed out to me that i needed help, i should, i should be treated with me, everything is clearly wrong, i am some kind of hysterical, in general with me...

i am already thanking this person that day who pointed out to me that i should to deal with the psyche, because it was a brilliant decision. how quickly in therapy did you come to the understanding that you were in an abusive relationship? actually, quite quickly, somewhere in half a year, maybe a little more, i collected fragments.

to start acting in the new season on the first, tell me, is it possible to do business in my city without me, you komolov, oleg viktorovich, here is the resolution on your detention, last night a museum was robbed, what does my dad have to do with it, so, well, tell me, the director is local from leningrad, with his wife and we came with our daughter, our adult daughter is going to be an artist, that's how the museum was robbed at night , the area is quiet, they don't sleep only in houses where they trade. more often like this, what's going on here, maybe we'll come to some agreement, and 500, what, okay, and how did you, hell, sly, fall for a simple scam, and everything looked so convincing, and you're not afraid at all that we'll get bogged down in these affairs, but they're bad,

dad, good, he needs help, unfortunately, you can't do it without money, five, seven, what and you were just amazing and your partners also, my name is mark natanch barshak, i kind of look after this city and its environs, i... need your talent in one very interesting and risky case. ninel - the premiere of a multi-part film from september 2 on the first, and you know that she has a patron, an adult appeared, thanks to whom i am here, and not in a cell, and what is it worth, you know? in the new season, on the first. there are already rumors in the city about this crime. wherever you go, they say everywhere, women are lured into a taxi and shot in the back, i

i wanted to ask you about your find, this knot seemed very massive, although it was easy enough to break, you have been awarded a great honor, moles, honor and trust of the reich, remember this, after the war i was looking for my son's comrades, i was interested in what happened there at the end of the war. and anything could have happened there , do you have any photos of kolya? strange, where are they, were they here, lord, how similar he looks to my son, you are the only real witness, the only person to whom he came openly, well, major, the hunt has begun, confrontation, premiere of the legendary book by yulian semenov. you are watching the triggers podcast, and today we are discussing the tools that

will allow you to get out of an abusive relationship or even not get into one. and now, with this conscious, thought-out, therapeutic position, how would you define responsibility so that it is not some kind of slogan, because many people do not understand what we are talking about, but how would you analyze it, what does it mean to be responsible for our listeners in general? now being responsible is it means, out of respect for yourself, to solve issues in your life in accordance with your needs, it means to solve them yourself, it means not to involve a third party, and not to delegate the solution of issues to someone, to wish.

relationships, i'm not sure that you can achieve results without the help of a specialist,

look, and this question arose there on that country of the screen, then i will answer my own question for you, okay, the thing is that everything that you say, describing the result of working with a specialist, and this is essentially the development of critical thinking, which pulled you out from these relationships, i want, because i know that this question arises, since i am a psychologist, and you will be surprised? now there will be such an edifying expression, but you need to read a lot, and if you just read classical literature, it did not help me, you know, no, it helped you, believe me, i read a lot, because i love, no, it helped you, believe me, and your speech speaks about it, and the way you operate with concepts, so i want to say that in addition to the fact that a psychologist helped you, it was precisely good, good erudition that helped you, yes naturally, because rethink, you know , for example, we have a daughter, she is a second-year student in the journalism department, more than once

, second-year students of the journalism department have approached me, because this is the study of russian classical literature, and girls who are not able to digest this story fall into a depressive state, because russian literature is very adult, we don’t have this gap, there is a lot of children's literature, then there is a lot of adult literature, and in this sense, reading classical literature develops this very in... in fact, there is a lot of literature that helps women and men realize that they are in the scheme of abusive people, this is already more professional literature, it is popular, because now it is just some kind of extra topic and it is pedaled everywhere, books with such content appear everywhere, there is also such a phenomenon that

the abuser is usually supported by his colleagues, friends, acquaintances and you in... at some point you become an outcast, you are kind of squeezed out, yeah, from the feeling of belonging, so to speak, and you feel even more guilty that you even dared to say that you are suffering and you don't want to do it anymore, when it is already a process of spending, a breakdown of relations, it becomes unbearable that you become some kind of outsider, an outsider, that's the word for me. this is one of the most unpleasant feelings that i had to experience, in general, you should not be afraid of this, let's try to make a list of such a tool, yeah, let's start with classic gaslighting, after all, we will have to translate gaslighting - this is when a person convinces you that your picture

of reality is inadequate, and you imagine, fantasize, you have... your objections are complete nonsense, delirium, you are generally not very good in the head, secondly, there is always increased criticism and you are constantly some kind of wrong devaluation, lucinations and everything is not as you think, everything is naturally devalued, starting from appearance, ending with the general conclusion about your life, that you are generally... some kind of worthless without him have no right to exist and in general you are nothing. that at this moment does a victim of abuse feel? i remember it was horrible, it seemed like life was meaningless, like life was losing its colors, this person was sucking

the life energy out of you with every word like a dementia patient. and it was like no matter what you tried to do, it was still better. insufficiency, insufficiency, evenness and separation, yes, which you feel separated from others, he covers you, as i understand it, with his attention and says that only i know how good you are, yes, of course, an abuser usually separates from any external contacts, from friends, including very often motivates to quit work, hobby, passion, in general, everything in which you can find a resource. and from those people who can give you their opinion that you are in an unhealthy relationship, he protects himself from being debunked, what the victim of abuse feels at this moment, what he feels, what he thinks that yes, he is right, these people really harm me, or that it is a pity to refuse them, but it will be better

for my relationship a lot of thoughts come out at once, first of all you think that he is wishes well. this is the biochemistry of the body and brain launched, you naturally believe it, and it seems, well , how can a person who cares about me so much, he can't wish me harm, so it's for the good, yeah, yeah, something like that, but the most interesting thing of course was at the stage of identifying other people with whom he is in parallel relationships or possibly in

relationships, there is such a term - triangulation, you will probably explain what this means, well... the word tringle - triangle: introducing a person into your relationship, and this is necessary a person who acts as a savior, in my case it was a good girl who was a good student, who was his colleague, and she saved him from me, because he entered the position of a victim and told her that i was unbearable, i had poisoned his life, it was hard for him with me, and he gave her a signal so that... she helped him, cured him, provided attention, in general, my resource was not enough for him, because i had already begun to feel not very good there , to fade away and not be such a nourisher. he brought another person in order to, actually, there was something to drink, eat, dissolve, whatever, and what did you feel in this triangulation, well, plus, of course,

all these connections begin to vibrate, jealousy appears, rivalry, he gets a kick out of the fact that two women can suddenly fight for his attention, naturally his ego increases many times over, and his feeling of power over the situation, over consciousness, it simply intoxicates him, actually i had a feeling that naturally i was betrayed, my expectations, my loyalty, and in general, in principle, that these relationships are a fatal mistake, but the thing is that then i turned inside myself, i realized that i don’t want to be outside, i don’t want to think about who this person is spending... then i realized that this doesn’t

help me at all, i only start to doubt everything more, i feel bad about myself and so on, well, somehow find out what’s there, but i feel, well, actually, it turns out that i turned inside myself, it seems to me that this is the most important thing, i let the situation go, because i realized that i can’t change anything, the only thing i can influence in my life - this is actually my life, and it was some kind of huge, the most important, such a basic awareness, there was some moment when you understood, that's it, stop, this is not safe for me, the thing is that i broke off relationships, got back from them once, i won't even go into details, but the situation was such that... a person hit me in my most vulnerable position, hit me physically, hit me, and before that he also allowed himself

to hit me, push me, but i forgave him, he apologized, fell to his knees, cried, he said that he was just not okay, he had problems with his head, and he would definitely take care of his psyche, by the way, that was his favorite promise, top top one. and uh, when he hit me already, as i already said, in the most vulnerable for me, in the most difficult state, i just sent him to hell, kicked him out, well, it seems to me that here suzana noted a very important point, and i just want to emphasize it a little, that - instead of looking for a way out , you need to look for yourself, well, yes, it seems to me, on we should finish this today, it would be very useful, i'm sure, i hope that people

will either go online and figure out the terms that we used here, if they remain unclear, but the most important message is of course to look for yourself, because a person who finds himself, finds everything else and ways of self-regulation and ways of self-worth and the possibility of self-love everything. the rest, well, this was the lab triggers podcast, we talked with suzanne about whether there is life after an abusive relationship, well and it seems to me that it is not just there, it is even clear how to do it, with you were the hosts of the podcast tatyana krasnovskaya and sergey nasebyan, see you soon, you can find the full episodes of the triggers podcast on the website of the first channel. kant's text is understandable if you overcome

the difficulties of your own feeblemindedness, common to any reader of kant's works, there are some philosophers, the reading of which causes the reader to have the false idea that the reader is clearly a karytin, kant's texts belong to this variety, but having overcome the difficulties of your... obomie, we still understand the text. so in his lectures spoke about kant and about us, philosopher mirap mamardashvili. hello, today we gathered with thoughts about immanuel kant, about his life, his philosophy. on april 2, the great philosopher turned 300 years old. today i have, as they say now, a dream team. i can be from west to east, geographically. alexander alexandrovich fedorov, rector of the baltic state university. lomanosov moscow state university, i am vladimir ligoida, let's try to talk about kant his

life of teachings. actually. dear friends, i would like to start with this quote from mamardashvili, as always, like mirab konstantinovich, provocative, and at the same time it seems you can’t find fault, or can you? you know, kant, as an event in the history of ideas, and what he created, is a kind of work of art, and a work of art requires a certain effort in order to understand it, while any. brilliant work of art is open to the viewer. kant , on the one hand, is very aphoristic, sometimes very simple and clear, sometimes so complex, that the thought stops, stumbles, but at the same time it gives pleasure. it is necessary to go back and think again. therefore, if we briefly answer mamardashvili's challenge, it will turn out like this. kant is complexity that strives for understanding.

excellent. yesebalovich, what will moscow university say? well, reading any philosophical text, if it is real philosophy, requires certain efforts, overcoming screens, as the same mamardashvili said, when we step over both the incomprehensible and our own some kind of inertia, because we live in the world of feelings, and kant begins his critique of pure reason with this, with transcendental aesthetics. that is, with how the world appears to us in feelings, in feelings the world does not always appear authentic to us, yes, therefore, in order to move on to the next step of understanding, you need to make some effort, like baron minhausen, who pulls himself out of the swamp by his hair, you need to pull yourself out of the swamp of the empire, out of the swamp of pure experience, actually , kant is a good example, in me right away...

the topic of differences between art and science is raised, science strives for the objective, art is all a subjective world, yes, philosophy, in fact , differs from science as such in that it does not reject the subjective, but this means that i have the right to say that kant is not my philosopher or mine, yes, well, just as i can say that tolstoy is not my writer, yes, for example, if this is so, how would you answer this question not...

when you call someone your philosopher, you know, as a metaphysical judgment, you you share his philosophy as a whole, from beginning to end, i can't say such a pro-kant, of course, alexey pavlovich, well, it would be possible to write like marina tsvitaeva, yes, my, my kant, just as she wrote my pushkin, yes, but it is not at all necessary that my kant means kant, my favorite philosopher, this is kant, like...

i am still on the side of faust, on the side of goethe, and not on the side of kant. let's try, not so much to determine kant's place, but simply talk about it, yes, because let's say, if we take history courses philosophy, usually. they are read based on large cultural and historical periods, yes, that's why we talk about the history of philosophy of antiquity, the middle ages, and so on, it's clear that they have their own characteristics, but if i understand correctly, if we take an internal criterion for periodization of european or western philosophy more broadly, yes, then by and large we can divide it into three different periods, yes from the birth of philosophy to plato, from plato to kant, in general, from kant... to the present day, that immediately, if this is so, it tells us about the fundamental place of kant's philosophy, here aleksanovich, are you ready to agree with such a periodization and somehow explain it? in general, the point is the following, that in the history

of ideas there are events that are meta-temporal, that is , events of personal centers that attract the past and attract the future, you know, there is: such a term in physics is a strange attractor, this is something thrown forward that pulled together the entire tradition as a whole, this was a certain moment, this is the moment when, well, all of us we know that kant was at one time a russian citizen, yes, that means a professor at moscow university, that means a thinker of european stature, that's how it all came together, that all philosophy at some point came together in one specific place, in one specific mind, then everything went differently, a sea of ​​interpretation. a sea of ​​changes of unfinished, unfinished, half-thought, rethought and so on, but the influence that this concentration had on the history of ideas, not only european, but world

as a whole, is obvious, from this point of view we can, for example, look at one of the most pressing topics of today, this is the topic of artificial intelligence or even artificial reason. what's the matter there, here is something that can summarize the entire philosophy of kant, this will be a slightly provocative statement, but i will try, yes, this apriority of the subjective, here is the spark of god lives in us regardless of our desire, of someone's will, yes, it is there, now, when we begin to reason, that we have some alternative in the form of artificial intelligence, this is fundamentally important for modern anthropology. this is a topic that was very clearly formulated by kant, very clearly, therefore , in my opinion, in 1918 he was the most cited philosopher in the world, in 2018, it’s interesting, alexey pavlovich, i’ll clarify

my question a little, whiteheath yes said that western philosophy is a literal translation of plato, of plato’s texts, but can we then say, based on the periodization that i voiced, i didn’t propose it, but i voiced it, that...

there is this historical anecdote that

by the way, rossiny vladimirovich gulygo quotes in his book about kant that the dying hegel said, there was only one person who understood me, then he paused and added, but he probably didn’t understand, and i also encountered the interpretation that he meant himself, this is generally wonderful, let’s see, we should have the most famous portrait of kant, this is jaagan gottlip becker, an artist, kant is 44 years old here, this is how he looked, again here... usually in history and philosophy courses they say that there was nothing remarkable in kant’s life, this is there was the life of a university professor, his philosophy is the most remarkable thing, although it seems to me personally that this is a bit of a false stereotypical story, well, firstly, kant, unlike many other philosophers, was a real scientist , kant's concept of kant laplace, yes , it was called a scientist later, he was a truly

brilliant intuitionist who could combine in judgment, scientific knowledge available to him, and philosophical search. i do not agree that his life was boring, monotonous, it was full of events, it was full of both metaphysical and carnal events - he led, you know, you won't believe it, i am deeply convinced of this, from what i know, especially after reading the letters, yes, he led an infinitely varied life, it was the only thing that was full of rituals, that is, everything was strictly planned, he loved it very much, these getting up at five in the morning, yes, for which he watched these walks, by the way, it is a legend that he always walked along the same route all his life, at the same time, probably also a legend. he just didn't go

walk and much more, on the one hand he was a deeply immersed person, immersed in the world of the transcendental, on the other hand he was concerned with completely simple things, and there is such an episode, it is actually very philosophical, i will allow myself to tell it very briefly, in the seventy-first year. and the first edition of the critique of pure reason, he is sitting - in his - apartment, he has not yet moved into the house, the university apartment and writes a letter to the publisher, the book began to sell literally 40 minutes at the book fair from this place to walk, and he afraid to go, writes to the publisher, for me now the most important question, and i will retell the court, how much i will earn on this, yeah, uses, by the way, one word, rarely only two -

where is natasha? they told me that she

went to the city, but this can't be, why do you need this max, well, he will finish his agricultural, he will be an agronomist on a collective farm, and why do you need someone like him, and you and i will move mountains here in moscow, i can't live without you, the premiere, tomorrow after the program time, 100 players from all over our country have gathered here in the studio, on this stage the main ones will appear...

september 7 on saturdays on the first. today we gathered with thoughts about kant, his philosophy and life, alexander alexandrovich fedorov, alexey pavlovich kozarev, i am vladimir ligoida, we continue. you know, what struck me, swedenborg's book is coming out, yes, if again, this is fair, then... i read, four copies, they sell it, one gets to kant, he not only reads it all, this huge book, but also writes, i don't know, one could say, a devastating text on this matter, here is alexey pavlovich, and how is this characterizes kant, what do you think, this act, well swedenborg is a visionary, and for

him, after all, religion is within the limits of reason only, yes, that is, he tried to treat things... let's say, connected with the spiritual tradition , as a representative of the enlightenment, we must not forget that, after all, when we say enlightenment, it is not only rosso, not only diderot, not only walter, but also immanuel kant, here he says what enlightenment is, his famous text, it is growing up, it is when a person from youth passed into adulthood learned to think with the help of his mind, to be responsible for his actions. in this regard and who to read, who to criticize, how to relate to the thoughts of another person, this is also not an order, but this is a manifestation of a certain intellectual honesty, yes, defending one's convictions, defending one's views, but at the same time one must not forget that this is an educator, but this

is not an atheist, kant was brought up in the christian tradition, he was brought up in the pietistic tradition, there are remarkable works. nikolai konstantinovich govryushin, professor moscow theological academy about kant's apprenticeship, where he talks about those professors, pietists, yes, who gave him an education, in this regard, when we come into contact with his moral teaching, with his categorical imperative, yes, with his ethics for a long time, we must understand that hardly any atheist could formulate it like this, let's just say a little bit here.

the question was not formulated, his philosophy, on the one hand, you understand, it did not stand still, it was in motion, it tried to bypass the question of god, it was very closely connected with him to come into contact, as a result to leave it as a question, it was not closed for him until the moment of death, and i do not think that he would categorically go along some path of denial, no, in no case, but for him, in the foreground, and this too... in fact, a conversation with god, here came out what i said, here is this apriority of the subjective, which is born, from somewhere who is the author of this birth, this was the main question for him, here is how i understand correctly, what we will say, if we look at kant's teaching on morality, then a...