# nothing compares to you... # the point at which i start crying is on the lines, "all the flowers that you planted, mama, in the backyard "all died when you went away." because as a young child, i had spent time living in the garden, only being allowed to enter the house to wash the floor every day. # these are dangerous days # to say what you feel is to dig # your own grave. # fight the real enemy. people say it derailed my career. but i think it re—railed my career, because i didn't want to be a pop star. # so happy christmas # i love you, baby # i can see... it's true i'm out of it most of the time, but i can write songs when i'm out of it.

in fact, it's easier for me. # ..singing galway bay # and the bells are ringing out for christmas day. # #je t�*aime #je t'aime, oui, je t�*aime... the vatican and the bbc banned it just because of the heavy breathing without realising the beauty of serge�*s text, which was "i love you, nor do i." # oui, je t�*aime # moi non plus. # wouldn't it be wonderful if there were no more goodbyes? you're wealthy, good—looking, intelligent, charming. i should have known better than to get mixed up with someone like that. you're not making any sense. i don't have to make sense. i'm italian. dramatic aria plays

lucy! i used to think nurses were women. i used to think police were men. i used to think poets were boring, until i became one of them. as i get older, i am positively sure i have no chips upon my shoulders. black is not the problem. mother country, get it right. and just for the record, some of my best friends are white. piano plays: where do i begin i forgot my key. jenny, i... ..i'm sorry. don't. love means never having to say you're sorry. music continues

yum, yum, pig's bum. that was fun. you dance like i cook. just chuck it all in and hope for the best. 0h, lovely jubbly. spank me gently with a wet chamois. you went barmy! it was like you were chewing a toffee. seven! seven! six. seven! fabulous. it was knockout. well done. hello. cheering from len... ..a ten. marquis says he's scared the truth will get him in big trouble _ chanting bleep! shouting know this. there's never been a moment in the 25 years of doing this

show— that i ever thought i was better_ than the people who appear on our stage. i'm not better, only luckier. eerie music ..shines the light of love on the earth signs, _ taurus, virgo, capricorn, and a ticket bought in ealing. the power of the pendulum spells out the names - greg and judy. dame edna everage! hi, possums! i'm trying to be ageless and i haven't had... i've had a little work done, but... . ,, not quite as much as some. laughter hey. don't look at me when you say that — keep your eyes that way. no... the thing is, you are still recognisable. # it's my niceness # i pride myself on my niceness. # laughter i'm so sorry...

they've found me a better seat. i've been draped. i'm chandler. i makejokes when i'm uncomfortable. i'm not great at the advice. can i interest you in a sarcastic comment? someone at work ate my sandwich. well, what did the police say? i'm sorry. we don't have your sheep. 0k, should we get some coffee? sure. where? good evening. look at this t—shirt, lil, dead common. so i wasjust having a drink and i looked over and here's ulrika walked in the door, wearing the same frock as me. i didn't know she had a littlewoods catalogue. iwas flaming. hiya. hi, paul. how are you doin:? i'm all right. this little one

isn't doing so well. so you look after yourselves, yeah? stay safe and well. ta—ra, everyone. iam illya kuryakin. i am also an enforcement agent. just a wave and a rare smile were enough— for the hundreds of teenage fans— who found david irresistible. take it downstairs... ..and burn it.

first tonight, the build—up in the gulf. it's the biggest single commitment of troops since the last gulf war a decade ago. the tragedy unfolding here begs the question, for how long and at what human cost can these camps be sustained? i've gone to places... it's to see life as a gift and rather than kind of worrying about when it's going to end and how it's going to end, i've got to a place where i can see it for the gift it is.

applause and whistling i don't know, a lot of people want to be great artists. i don't know that i'm capable of being that, but i hope i entertain a few people, you know. # all my life ijust wanted to # meet someone just like you # someonejust like you. # # don't stop moving, find your own way to it # listen to the music... # you were in what's described as a band, but it was a bit like limp bizkit. is that more your thing? a bit sort of rocky? well, it is. that is sort of... that was the background that i was coming from going into the s club thing. # no—one knows just what the future holds # there ain't nothing you can't be # there's a whole world at your feet. # # mirror, mirror on the wall # tell me, mirror, what is wrong? _ # can it be my de la clothes or is itjust my de la song? it was more theatrics than just rap and beats. it wasn't boasting rap.

it was intelligent rap. it was funny rap. we brought a different format to rap as a whole. # let me lay my hand across yours and aim # a kiss upon your cheek # the name's plug two... # it was kind of funny when you saw people dressing the way you did. but we didn't think about the outside world. it'sjust what went on with the three of us. # spill on the bottom away # but it's ok, huh # it's a saturday # saturday, it's a saturday. # so why don't you try it one saturday afternoon? join me for world of sport at 12.50. i've spent over 3,760 hours in front of the camera with world of sport. that's 22 and a half solid weeks. lee. interesting. very interesting! how do you stand there one day and say, "i want to get into toilet rolls"? ., , you don't stand there one

day and say, "how do i get into toilet rolls?" and there's francis. and trevor francis, the million pound man, puts his name on the scoresheet. mcqueen. scotland are in front. and england are undone at the set piece _ back to charlton. this could be it. it is! and that's the kind of goal that put england in the finals. charlton headed it home. i've achieved almost everything that i set out to do, but along the way i had to do it with a lot of really, really good friends. # day—o # daylight come and we wanna go home # day! # me say day, me say day, me say day # me say day, me say day—o... # he's the first performer to sell over a million copies of a single album. # but i'm sad to say, i'm on my way # won't be back for many a day... # i wound up on mccarthy's blacklist, being called a communist.

for a long time i couldn't work or couldn't get employed. we're here today in the name of... ..black power. yeah! — black power. black power. chanting: black power! # make it easy on yourself... # we neverfinished a song in one day. you don't get awards for writing five songs a day. # what's it all about, alfie? # is itjust for the moment... # did she speak to you afterwards? and even if she didn't, it would have been 0k. all that mattered was that that record come out the way i wanted it to come out. # i say a little prayerfor you... a young woman has changed the dress ideas of the new generation— throughout the western world — mary ouant _

# and wondering what dress to wear now... # it really was the first time that emancipation for women became possible and inevitably, one produces the sort of things that reflect the way one feels at the time. women have changed. they're much more aware of their sexuality and they want to take charge in the bedroom. # i wouldn't have to work hard # ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum # lord who made the lion and the lamb # you decreed i should be what i am # would it spoil some vast eternal plan? # if i were a wealthy man. # the one hope. the only hope.

the exorcist. it is a film about a real street in a real town. and upstairs on the third floor of this house is a real little girl who happens to be possessed by a demon. # got to get up got to get out # grab the world by the throat and shout. # we thank thee, o, lord... ..for bringing us safely through the night, and for the food we are

about to bolt. we met on stage and jean was in the cast. it was a sort of theatre marriage, really. did you fall in love with him immediately? no. i thought he was a perfect pest — can i ask, except for the front two rows, to stand? 0k, fellas, could you stand? laughter they are! # mull of kintyre # 0h, mist rolling infrom # the sea # my desire # is always to be here # 0h, mull of kintyre. # music: shaft theme # who's a black private dick that's a sex machine # to all the chicks?

# shaft # damn right... # who is the man that would risk his neck # for his brother man? # shaft... # you've sometimes referred to me as something of a father figure _ did i? i didn't realise that. but i want you to know if i had had a son and he had turned out like you... ..i would be very proud of him _ yo, i got to cut soon. but i just want to tell you that talking to you was one of the best parts of my whole year. yeah, right. yo, can i like get your phone number or something? yeah. it's a book and a film, and it's five... _ no, six words.

marjorie, are you quite well? well, if it wasn't for the hunchback... oops! oh, i've given it away. obviously, george, i bow to thejudgment of the man who got appallingly drunk at the office party, ransacked a wine bar, fell asleep in a lamb pasanda, returned to the office, photocopied his ours, threw up in his boss's filing cabinet, and then mugged a ten—year—old and attempted to ride his bmx bike to the station. the president, on a visit to the national gallery and possessing even less taste in fine art than you have in accessories, announced that he liked the painting. the french government offered it as gift to the white house, i suppose as retribution for euro disney. so here it hangs like a gym sock on a shower rod. yes. well, i'm not in any sense reprimanding you. i don't know the facts well enough. but as head of the service, i would like your assurance that he won't be putting it into practice. i certainly hope he won't be. i'm not sure that hopes are quite good enough. order! house must come to order. —

order! what's your question? do you ever feel like smacking any of the politicians - because they sometimes act like unruly children? _ well, i don't feel like smacking them. i feel like occasionally... and i do. ..taking them into my study to have a quiet word with. # they're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky... i'm wednesday. thank you, thing.

# the addams family. # good morning, pee—wee. morning, mr breakfast. can i have some mr t cereal? 0k! i pity the poor fools who don't. # tall and tan and young and lovely # the girl from ipanema goes walking # and when she passes he smiles # but she doesn't see. # she just doesn't see #no.# music: parkinson show theme evening and welcome. on my show tonight... my guest tonight... tonight we feast... oh, my, my! it's a sort of substitute for tattoos. - i'm frightened to get a tattoo. i call him golden balls, you know, now, i mean... evening and welcome. on my show tonight... my guest tonight... tonight we feast... oh, my, my! it's a sort of substitute for tattoos. - i'm frightened to get a tattoo. i call him golden balls,

you know, now, i mean... the fact is that you're a crowd puller and frazier�*s not. is he? why is that? well, number one, he's ugly. he has no rhythm, no footwork, no class. he cannot talk. and who told him he could sing? he cannot sing. laughter and applause i only remember the one thing — i was attacked by a sodding emu. # you are the sunshine of my life... # good evening. this is my very first christmas message to the nation. who would be dumb enough to wear a beret with a raincoat like this? you talking about me? # i'll pack up all my things and walk away # i don't want to hear another word _

# you have to say... # i'm so excited # and ijust can't hide it # i'm about to lose control and ithink i like it # i'm so excited... # radford again. oh, what a goal. what a goal! and the crowd... ijust happened to tumble across a chap in essex who made full—length sheepskin coats. he had the skins in his garage and he came and measured you up and you had a proper coat to fit you. my goodness, can he move. duckham inside edge... this could be one of the tries of the season. and hines is through, hines wins it _ and look at the time there. inside the world record, and jim hines— takes the gold medal. #jump! # an american with a very peculiar action indeed. let's see him now. his name is dick fosbury. hejumps like no other man on earth. there it is, the fosbury flip. vialli! it's 4—2, chelsea.

mark wright and liverpool look absolutely bewildered. # everybody loves you, baby # we're all going england crazy. # youngsters don't remember it too much, but theirfathers tell them all about it. they said, "that is the best feeling we've ever had." and it's just a shame that just wasn't to be. # i left my heart # in san francisco... # i was playing the fairmont hotel in san francisco. my music director, ralph sharon, he said, "i think this would be a good song "for your appearance there. " so i had no idea it would ever become an international song. # my life # a wreck you're making # you know i'm yours... #

if that is your opinion, you had better hide yourface, indeed. your majesty has only to say- - -_ you must be hungry for something. that's true. rumble thy bellyful, spit fire! spout rain. welcome, welcome to another year at hogwarts. please. avada kedavra. # if you go down in the woods today # you're sure of a big surprise # if you go down in the woods today # you'd better go in disguise # for every bear that ever there was # will gather there... # wild laughter # ..today�*s the day

# the teddy bears have their picnic. # # turning out and burning out # and turning out the same # so put me # on a highway. # and show me a sign # and take it to the limit # one more time. # silver magic ships you carry # jumpers, coke, sweet mary jane # sugarman met a false friend # on a lonely, dusty road. #

# when your tyres are flat # hi—ho silver lining... # it's like being asked to wear a pink frock and walk on top of a bus down oxford street. it was framing me with this embarrassing pop song that wasn't me. but over the years, i've become warmed to it. # and do i love you? my, oh, my # river deep, mountain high # they call it nutbush, little old town _ # oh, nutbush # nutbush city limits. #

i did try to leave a couple of times, and the first time was when i had the experience of being whipped with a wire hangen _ and then another time was something else. and i realised, "well, you don't go back." # simply the best # better than all the rest # better than anyone # anyone i've ever met # ooh, you're the best. # hello there. we had some heavy rain in scotland on saturday, and as a result of that there are a number of flood warnings in force across the north of the country.

we have had some disruption too. for most of the uk it was a very mild day, but not for everyone. massive contrasts in northern scotland as the mild air butted up against the cold. 10 degrees in braemar, ten miles down the road in balmoral, just one. and with those lower temperatures across the far north and east, well, on saturday we did see some snowfall. so for some, a winter wonderland. however, since then the snow has been turning back to rain and our main concern as we get through christmas eve is the strength of the winds. they could disrupt some travel plans that you may have, so stay tuned. the winds then will pick up over the next few hours, becoming quite gusty across england and wales with outbreaks of rain here. rain could be heavy enough to cause one or two localised flooding issues across mid wales. some showery conditions across scotland and northern ireland. for most, temperatures in double figures as we start the day on sunday. cold air still just about clinging on across the far northeast. now, the strong winds will be affecting scotland through the day, particularly late on. they could bring some distruption here. and over to the east of the pennines, winds could gust 50—70 mph, potentially strong enough to blow over some high—sided vehicles,

maybe knock down one or two trees. so there is a risk of seeing some transport disruption during the day on sunday, christmas eve, so it is worth checking conditions before heading out on anyjourneys you may have planned. and the winds could get even stronger actually for a time during the evening across northern scotland. on into monday, christmas day, for the vast majority of the uk, we are in mild air, so rather than it being a white christmas it is a grey christmas. a lot of cloud around, outbreaks of rain, quite heavy rain for a time. quite windy conditions, but colder air starts to move back into northern scotland and that could start to turn some of the rain to snow across some of the higher hills of northern scotland. so for a few of you, it could just about be a white christmas, but not for many. looking beyond that into boxing day, we get colder air moving back southwards across the uk. with that there will be a lot more in the way of sunshine, so that is one positive. it will feel quite a bit colder, mind you. and there will be some showers around, particularly across scotland. one or two for northern ireland,

one or two for the north—west of both england and wales. the showers could come through wintry at times, so maybe a bit of sleet mixed in with some of these, maybe a bit of hill snow as well. bye for now.

live from london. this is bbc news. conversations betweenjoe biden and the israeli prime minister continue as the us president highlighted the critical need to protect the civilian population in gaza.

the us accuses iran of launching a drone attack that damaged an oil tanker off the coast of india. and we will bring you a report about the christian community in the pakistan city of jaranwala who are still living with the damage left by the attacks on their churches four months ago. hello, i'm samantha simmonds. president biden has told the israeli prime minister, benjamin netanyahu, that as israel continues its military campaign in gaza, there's a critical need to protect the civilian population, including those supporting aid operations. the white house said that in a phone call between the two men, mr biden also stressed the importance of allowing civilians to move safely away from areas where there's fighting. greg mckenzie reports. president biden told the israeli prime minister benjamin netanyahu that as is real

continues its military campaign in gaza, there is a