who wanted to emigrate, says, you have this very thing, look at the map, they gave him, he turns, turns, turns, this globe and says, you don’t have another globe,

the tv news agency presents it in the public domain, we have no secrets from our people . we baked a loaf, what a beautiful loaf, bread has never been and will never be easy for those who raise it, bread obtained in hot sweat and cold mud, bad weather torn out, oh difficult, priceless.

bread every day feeding our city, less and less, not looking at the growth of the population, because the consumption of other high-calorie products , which is important because pork is small, the consumption of fish and poultry, and the salt - 9 tons per day, eight saugasau, 10 kalgasau, three preparations for operations the people of the forefathers lived, their design organization, their towns and gardens, branded stores and direct

connections with foreign partners and high-quality currency, all these firsts in the republic of agrarian and industrial complexes in bukh. for any land you have won with great success, what are some kamunaries for the future? vyadoma, i the sunny day becomes more subdued than their most wicked thoughts. only kalgasny is in harmony with the high culture of agriculture. may the villagers of baranavi region grow so richly. the ganus experimental station will dismantle the michuryn methods and the rural gas reserve, and grow new crops. the exhibitions were opened in the holy city of kalgas. our health is happy.

it’s a miracle when a person writes about himself, and people come and say that this is about me. when ode to joy was published, how did you feel? i wrote it in memory of to my mother, so that she would not disappear, the fact that she came out for me was some kind of, well, document of life, that everything was not in vain. why do you believe, valeria , the immortality of the soul? this is a life that is only a moment, because one day you understand that these are not empty words. how did it happen that you couldn’t get your husband addicted to literature? it wasn’t a big problem to understand why i wanted a man, why i wanted to get married, now i’m even skeptical about marriages of like-minded people, marriages of people of the same profession, some people are good at it, but this is not my destiny. we we can’t help but ask you about that book or those books that you should read all of. a book

that teaches you not to take yourself seriously and take life seriously. hello, the program “say don’t be silent” is on air, victoria popova and svetlana smolonskaya are in the studio. and today our guest, literary critic, writer, valeria pustovaya. good afternoon, valeria. hello. we are glad to see you here in minsk, you came to the international book fair for the first time or in belarus and what are your first impressions of the forum. i just i came, so far i have participated in only one event in the children's library, they were very cordial, there was a great interest in children's and adult literature, in the exchange of information , it was very pleasant to say, but this is your first time in minsk, this is my first time in minsk, yes i was amazed, i

it seems that you stand here and you won’t reach the point, some kind of big , unlimited look, as if where am i going, where, where is my goal, it seems to me that they will put me, i will go, i will go right through, through the whole city, our avenues make an impression. or this bright one, surely you will present your book at one of the days of our forum, this is odo of joy, ask questions to your readers and you can ask us too, because we are them , on the eve of our meeting we got acquainted with the book, here is one of the quotes: from my grandmother in kyrgyzstan turned 90 years old, and her 66-year-old daughter was buried in a cemetery near moscow. well, right away this is one of the first pages that catches you, what do you think is the reason that our mothers leave earlier than our grandmothers, this is the stress of the 21st century, it seems to me that this is such a lack of skill replenish the resource, and this generation, which , perhaps, learned to live for others, and this

is such valor to live for others, this is really, i believe that my mother is from this heroic generation that does not spare itself, and maybe now they reproach young people, that they feel too sorry for themselves.

countries in other books, well , another quote from you: queues and grievances, which we have already talked about, snow in mounds, at what age do grievances begin to accumulate in a person, in your opinion, it seems to me that hope of correcting something is lost, but everyone this moment your own, but because, well, in your youth it’s somehow easier to overcome everything; at some point , this midlife crisis is also in the fact that you suddenly realize that what you did, you did, you wrote it in your life, and there’s simply no resource left for a step back, you have to largely follow the beaten path, then there’s some kind of resentment for the wrong turn that happened, the wrong choice, it becomes, well, probably more total in you, and it seems to me , this is a very...

big fan of psychology, i respect psychologists, i am very worried when indiscriminate they simply discredit their entire workshop, of course, there are charlatans, bad psychologists, psychologists who impose themselves, who assert themselves at the expense of the client, but there are very valuable specialists , i was also lucky with such people, and i worked a lot, for example, in the last one, my discovery thanks to a psychologist was this, it turns out , is biren katie, working with beliefs that teach you to sort of detach yourself from others and make demands on yourself.

it seems to me that it is very valuable in the modern world that there are a lot of keys to heal yourself, then grievances do not accumulate, they become such a springboard, a little bit of a reason to change something, it’s very difficult, so. but it just seems to me that a person in him wins either the desire to live, or the desire, look,

i’ve had enough of clouding the sky with these insults, i’ve had enough of black emotions, i don’t know, envy, some old memory, i’m just tired of living like this , it seems to me that fatigue is very important, i decided for myself that i need to get tired - to be offended, i need to get tired of being abandoned, lonely, misunderstood, when i get tired, i tell myself, listen, come on already let’s not live like this, let’s do something somehow, you start floundering like this, little by little, little by little you can get out of this. well, what i mean is that we become wiser with age, so we already know how to work with these shortcomings, but we have more experience, yes, yes, but the feeling of guilt in us before those who have left, before those who have left, is inevitable for everyone person, it somehow passed for me at some point, because i suddenly realized that i was very close to those who left, because well, actually, this is this life, which is only a moment, because it one day you realize that these are not empty words, that you are simply following the path of the trolls to the afterlife. you know, when you realize that you are no different from your departed mother and grandmother,

because every day you are actually getting closer to their post-death, and you want to live a long time, but this is still compared to eternity, well, very little, and somehow this guilt for me has somehow dulled a little, because yes, you are there, but i am here, here is my short mick, i ’ll spend it as best i can, dispose of it as best i can, but it seems to me a pretty healthy relationship. to live for the sake of living, to explain life by the tasks of life, at some point

it goes wrong for you, you understand that it can’t be like this , you can’t justify it in any way from within it, no matter how painful or so dead-end, so stupid, moronic, that’s all it is limited to this, there must be some meaning, then life is only a path, probably has meaning, that’s what you will come there with, it is very difficult to remember, this is how you came to religion, but how is this some kind of compensatory thing, to religion, i came absolutely wonderful thus, it seems to me that this is the most common practice of coming to religion, it seems to me, perhaps arrogantly, and again through resentment, and resentment towards a young man, so i had some kind of another dead-end relationship that went absolutely nowhere and i... was so offended, and i came, i told the priest, well , this is it, he says, i say, this is so offensive, and what does he say to you that is offensive, a young man should respect like a girl, so he doesn’t give me said nothing, to be honest, nothing like that, yes, that’s it now i would say, well, what are you, and this fell on some kind of soil, i would somehow receive some kind of consolation, some kind of support, probably not from the search for god, i somehow had no doubt that god exists, that’s not how it started for me, it’s precisely from this desire that some kind of pathology,

which even psychology can’t cope with, then you go to church, because there you can just cry it out. say, okay, i’m letting go of this for god’s sake, i’m letting go of this, because god said that we must suffer, so that it would be, well, to rise from this suffering, so that valeria your critics notice that how it coexists in her, and religion, psychologists and even some, yes, you probably read such accusations against yourself, what do you say, can all this exist peacefully well, unfortunately, this is quite typical for the modern consciousness; many people are open to us. fields, flows of information and everyone deals with them as best they can, of course i can, i’m even a child, the problem for me is that on the one hand i can’t help but invite him to a game, a horoscope, well, this is just a symbolic series, this is not simple, these are myths, these are some images, on the other hand i understand that this is complete nonsense, here are some constellations, some eastern ones, these years , for some reason they must coincide, i don’t know,

my husband doesn’t believe us at all and for him it’s just an empty ringing, but on the other hand, inside myself i understand that sometimes this is work. so i was interested in, for example, such a lie, it ’s called pseudoscience, and socionics, this is when you classify people into 16 types, you get very carried away, classifying them as if in a sandbox, there are squares here, diamonds here, roughly speaking there are circles here, you know, it helps, helps to navigate, and what did it help me with, how did such systems help, not to demand everything from a person, then there is , for example, you meet a person who is very modest, good, so reliable, but you want him to still have fun with you, take you to discos, generally have a trashy frenzy, as if you had gifts. piled up with flowers, but there won’t be such a person, and you can come to this with experience, but it is possible through such systems, the system says: so, a man with a sign like this, there is this typology, he will be like this, but he won’t be like that, oh, well, thank you, explained, valeria, the man proposes marriage, but the woman proposes children, this is a phrase from the instructions that fill the internet, but it

was also useful to you once, it was a big problem for me to understand why i want a man, why i want to get married, i had this phrase: i always want to live with a man. they say to me: why do you want to live with a man? i couldn’t come to this, i couldn’t explain to myself the idea of ​​partnership, the idea that i need children, no matter how you think about it, you just feel like you feel bad alone, you seem to be alone a little incomplete, but then i kept wanting a man to somehow decide for me, why i should marry him, why i should have children from him, where we would go, what we would do, it seemed to me that such a man, i would behind him like behind a stone wall, he will decide everything, i won’t hesitate, i won’t do anything choose, it will be cool for me. i was very burned by this desire by everyone, not immediately understanding it, then i met a man who was so absolutely transparent, who absolutely seemed to leave me with such complete freedom to desire, because he himself wanted very little for himself, very sparingly, such an ascetic type of person , and i suddenly realized with horror that my god, that is, i have to say what we ’re going to do now, i have to want something right here with my mouth, i’ll dare it, and you know, i felt like... it's easier, that is me

i really began to rely on myself more, because i realized that if i don’t say it now, he won’t do it for me, i have to say yes. i want to go there now , i want a child, i want to get married there, this is my desire, well, it’s great, you’re in front of such a mirror or something, and you formulate what you want, you have such a chance, well, that’s just what -that ’s the freedom of a partner, no, yes, it’s just that when there’s such a person nearby who decides for you, you can, you risk never hearing yourself, i just haven’t done this before i understood, it turned out to me that it was just convenient, that there was a person nearby who would determine everything for me, it was normal, plus you were responsible... that it was interesting, that is, beating your paws to make your dream or even a small wish come true, it turns out it’s interesting, that is, in fact, you don’t need to sit in the tower to send a knight, that he plowed your field there, cut down all the dragons, sometimes you can come out waving, on

the other hand, this nonsense that is filled with the internet, these memos, these images of princes on white horse, that is, is it possible? v of this connection, against this background, to call a person a set of random phrases, read somewhere, stereotypes, personal beliefs, well, what are we made of in this case, even if a phrase from a memo, well, let’s say, this stuck with me: don’t be cluttered, there is such decluttering checklist, yes, this helps me, i think, god, this, this is what am i made of, yes, of some memory sets, so what do you think about this? it seems to me that a person takes what touches him and what he was drawn to... now there are really a lot, a lot of teachings, a lot of some kind of therapy, and with that old traditional models remain, there are religious models, there are philosophical models, there is just such

practical psychology, cheap psychology, you can learn to live from bloggers, in the end, they are sometimes even very attractive for this, but you still take what what grabs you, what you were looking for, suddenly you heard that you tried to go for it, and it really is, you said the word responsibility, well, it’s your responsibility that you went, it seems very cool to me that it’s in yourself and that’s well a little dangerous, after all it’s good to take advantage, go your own way , decide for yourself what to do, well , for example, i have such an old example, i bought a thick book about despondency in the church in the church

shop, because i somehow felt like, well , despondency such a thick volume was good , i opened it just by chance, and it was simply written there, among other things, don’t wish and you won’t be discouraged, i closed the book, so i paid, i paid the money, i bought the book, it was for the sake of this phrase, don’t wish, you won’t be to blame for the fact that this is... a set of phrases, but those which we come across, which we choose , yes, after all, yes, there is an interesting arc here , why from the stream of speech, we isolated exactly this, it means we heard it like that, we will quote your novel again, but now i’m afraid to be like my mother, well this is the paradox that we love, adore, cherish our mothers, so that one day we might think with fear that i am becoming like her, do you agree with this, yes? and you know, it’s like this, my grandmother had a phrase that really irritated my mother, and then it began to irritate me, she looked at my mother and said, well, here i am, that is, lera is smart, and you and i are fools, then i gave birth to a baby

, it turned out that i was a fool, and my grandmother had a smart baby, that is, for some reason she always shifted this focus of her mind in the family for the youngest generation, she had some of her own reasons for doing this, it’s possible, but then i realized that there is something in this, i really look at the children, they are smarter, maybe because in the previous generation what is played out - old script. and it has already been exhausted, all its pros and cons are clear, now it’s a dead end, now somehow that’s where to go you won’t go, and the new generation , simply because this has already been played out, they try something different and each time smarter than the previous one, there is a well-known phenomenon when in the 20th century there was a generation of parents who were very focused on material survival , to provide a house, a car, everything there, good clothes, because life has taught them that they need to, well, first of all , furnish their body like this, their children, who received all this as... are ready, they say, listen to how hippies, spirituality, practices, in general love, peace, everything there, yes, friendship is bubblegum , that is, well, to go around everything there, travel, look for yourself, that’s what i want,

and there was a big conflict of generations, but in a sense they are smarter, because the material has already been won back, their parents have invested, they have already done it for them, why will they accept this model, they move on, then fatigue set in from this too, because again it was won back, they found some disadvantages in this, that is, i wouldn’t blame it on... it overthrows, it’s just how it’s arranged that we’ve already gone through it, thank you, we are moving on, and now we will take a break for a while, i remind you of our telegram channel “say don’t be silent”, subscribe, ask your questions and suggest us new interesting guests, we are connected! belarus is a country with a rich and interesting history. this is truly the oldest

building and the most important shrine of our region, the temple in honor of saints boris and gleb, which was built in the 12th century. the columns also have a rich literary history. many poets, writers and publicists lived and worked in this area, and about its famous... unique sights can be found literally at every step. if you, like me, are planning your route to this amazing place, then pay attention to this alley with stones. the architects' idea was to lay out the number of stones that corresponded to the age that felix derzhinsky lived. this is the most essential pharmacy in belarus. and now there is a museum. pharmacy.

we are embarking on an expedition in the depths of our country. pradchuvanna, bridle, tension, menavita with such pains we cry out let's open the chargova padarozh. we’re off to a new folklore-historical expedition. let's follow the history and myastsovye abrads. it seems like old people, not so old god of people, but they forgot to give them dishes, and in no way can they eat and jump, oh so colorful, like a sparrow, and give these old traditions a new life, give them hope lu, tall. times with projects

on the air on the tv channel belarus24 again tell us not to be silent , a literary critic writer is our guest. empty, let's move on, read on your ode to joy a wonderful book, a child, a dimensionless plug in the place of any absence, it replaces communication and sex, loss of inspiration, ambition and meaning in life. i think that mothers and mothers are now clutching their heads and will really criticize you for this attitude towards children, although i don’t doubt for a second, valeria, that you love your children, but

was it fair? and you know, this is said, firstly, in the context, as i remember, of some kind of living, dying, grieving, a dimensionless plug - this is such, well, of course, firstly, here is a stylistic device in order to, well, a little ironically distance this grief, because when you are choking on emotions, you, in general , won’t write anything, you still need to put this distance a little, about the gag, after all, he’s a child, he really covers up a lot, he does a lot, and somehow i just can’t. evaluate the phenomena of children in my life, i never particularly strived for this, it now turns out to me that a child will take away my time for creativity, will take away from me myself, and of course i discovered in the end that , firstly, he gives me a lot of reasons for self-therapy, for exploring myself, all my emotional reactions, all my some kind of clues, all of my infantilism, laziness, some kind of limitations my thinking , everything comes out next to the children, well, i’m not the first to discover this, everyone understands this, yes, when it becomes material, that everything comes out of you, you already thought that you were a perfect

auntie, such an adult woman, you have everything captured. everything went away, happy marriage there children, yes, of course, it all blows your mind with your child, all these settings, and of course it replaces the meaning of life, because children can become the meaning of life, and of course it replaces realization, this feeling of need, warmth, very dangerous a situation when i understand that i’m a little medicated, of course, with the children , because this feeling that he is a partner who will not leave you anywhere, this partner will not leave you, this is a bit of a false bad feeling.

yes, you have a long-awaited one? well, it’s just when you can’t find yourself in something for a long time, then establish a relationship, so you get the hang of it, well, like over 30, when you give birth, he’s even over 35, yes, but it seems to me that the main thing is that this basically came to life, now i understand that, of course, at 20 years old, twenty-year-old in my period, i couldn’t have pulled it off, i was too focused on myself, i needed so much, you know, this feeling that, well , they say that everything should come on time, on the screen is your first-born, his name is samson.

after all, i say, dear, it doesn’t happen like that, all are good, stern, simple, calm names, they are there, they are there in the first lines, they were sorted out, all the matveevs, all the timofeyevs, that’s all, so i searched for a very long time and of course... the greco-roman tradition was simply no longer found, it was all sorted out, then suddenly, like... then this hebrew name came, meaning sunny, and you know, i really like forums , on the forums they say: don’t call children original, they will be teased, i want to tell such people that first of all, children will be teased in any case if people want tease your children, and then i see, now it's like in kindergartens somehow don’t really cling to it, it seems to me that maybe the culture has become a little softer, more diverse, the world has somehow opened up a little for people. so i look , well, not the grades, it seems to me that now it’s especially , maybe at the kindergarten level in schools, maybe it’s still the same, but so i look, no names, nothing brings up, but lara was just also looking for something... it’s so original and i don’t remember how i came, i remember that until the very end i really wanted it, i thought that

god forbid my husband would choose some option lucky, well, i really wanted this option, unfortunately i don’t even remember how i came to it, but the truth is sometimes you don’t know where it comes to you, somehow it came across, for some reason it didn’t come across, still some... then things in our lives happen intuitively. valeria, was it more difficult for you to decide on laura or was it easier to decide on a second child? somehow i somehow wanted to, i thought of everything, i brought up my entire childhood as such a slightly lonely child under the feet of adults, but this image is famous in cinema and literature, when the adults are sitting, having a meal, they are having a feast, and the child is wandering around there and sees only these legs that somehow communicate, by the way, helena pobyarzhina, in the writer from braslov there is roman valsarp, where it is also about childhood and there shanaev, whom you mentioned, actually has this image, too, yes, yes, and this is the loneliness of a child in front of an elder, it’s kind of lonely, you’ll abandon this kind of older world that is completely you not busy, but busy with my own problems there, i really wanted that after all,

my child had a partner, such a peer, i’m very glad that, god willing, it worked out, god willing, yes, valeria, well, time really heals, has your pain subsided due to the loss of a loved one, your mother? but, probably , time heals when, firstly , you don’t resist it, you don’t deliberately pull yourself back, i try not to pull myself back, because i know that this again clouds life very much, it prevents you from being, that’s it i hate this feeling of darkness that clouds my vision, now you can walk next to your loved ones to be here in a tv studio, you can drink the most delicious coffee and cake there, i don’t know , everything is just black, i don’t, i don’t hate this state of blackness , it seems to me that this is an abyss, this is hell, with this i really want to destroy it and...

different plots that somehow accumulated, some observations that accumulated around some feeling of one plot, a turn, so emotional, indeed, i did not expect that people would recognize themselves in my story, it seems to me that this some kind of miracle, what is this

the auto-fiction trend is now popular , which is considered to be becoming obsolete, everyone is already tired of it, but it’s a miracle when a person writes about himself, and people come and say that this is about me, this dialogue, when everyone talks to himself, but they meet in something in common. but it seems to me that i myself love such books, books of some kind of experience, books of confession, i myself let them into my life from time to time, it seems to me that experience in general is the most valuable thing that we can pass on to each other, experience like you went through it, that's how it is for you it was, but because it feeds and helps you feel not like an idiot, not alone, not some black sheep to whom this happened alone, the most bitter feeling is that it only happened to me, when you understand that this is just the order of things. it somehow completely elevates the situation and helps you see it somehow on a large scale, but strictly speaking, i understand the claim of critics who cannot figure out whether this is literature, but after all, do you, as a literary critic, have

an answer here? ? well, people want something, first of all a story completed there with a so-called arc hero, sometimes people want fiction, people want some kind of cross-cutting plot, here this is really an essay, essay writing has its own plot, it’s just not a plot. something, well, thanks to what we got from life. literature is the re-creation of experience,

of course, and of course, in this sense this literature is, it’s just not plot literature, and not narrative literature. well, when the ode to joy went into print, how did you feel? i really wanted not to fail with this book, because for this book, of course, has something personal for me, well, it’s absolutely obvious that i wrote it in memory, about my mother, so that she wouldn’t disappear, and i’m very glad that i did it, at least even for myself, because many things. from here i wouldn’t have recreated it now , i wouldn’t have written it, i’m glad i didn’t make a story out of it, because you know, i really like to observe what life is like, life itself shows itself amazingly, i really don’t like to invent for life , how these events were connected, or how the hero went there, typify something, for example, to connect my mother and someone else’s mother, yes, to create the image of a mother, writers do this, but i’m a literary critic, i and i can afford to do it if i’m a literary critic, i see everything like that, i want more dresses. that’s the fact that it came out for me as some kind

of document of life, that everything was not in vain, and even when i was writing it, of course, i saw a lot differently, of course my notes are there when i’m just on the phone there snot in tears , i took notes on some moments of my life, and i wrote notes in notes, without thinking, for the book, i just wanted to remember, i wanted to remember how it would be, because my mother left for six months, i wanted to record this, and i record how children grow, because again. i know that i will forget, i will forget, no one will tell them , not even me, how it was when they were very little and i am simply attracted by this touch of the present time in the past, i want to feel it through this detail, that’s when you keep putting together some meaningful text, it plays even more, that’s why, of course, this is a big event for me, because it means that i took some part of my life and put it together, as they say out of chaos, space, such a small space, then you wrote in pain, it’s quite obvious,

i have a little passion here, i feel it’s a little bit mine such a threshold, but i can’t resist, maybe it’s the child in me who wants all these beautiful wonderful children’s books, i don’t know, but the fact that they respond to these , let’s say, your desires, it’s still, well, read, read and well, consume a lot of children's literature, excuse the word consume, it your merit is solely what you think , well, of course, it’s considered very important to read with a child, that is, to invest in this... mentally with time, the just problem is that maybe not everyone likes it, i just like it, and for me, to be honest, there is a very big ambitious inner thrill, this is to show him how wonderful it is that i like, there is a little bit of that, i have such leadership, and i would be very upset if he didn’t like it, i don’t know, there’s talking wants, for example, and he liked it, yes, i would be very upset if he were not interested in these educational, bright modern books, but he liked it, and well, we all want a little something for our children to share with us, yes, because of course it’s good for the child on... this is paramount, but i want

to get that kind of human contact with him, what is it like to instill something of my own with him, and make him a little bit of a friend too, because for me it’s priceless when you can discuss something like this with a child general, and i will tell him, listen, how cool, do you hear how cool music, cool book, he’ll say, yes, yes, i like it, but how did it happen that you couldn’t get your husband addicted to literature, here he is, when you ’re discussing... what he does, how it happened, and what you have common ground, well , there are common points with children, firstly, i am passionately happy that my husband is not a writer. he reads, he loves science fiction and in general he is a person who seems to be interested in cinema and high-quality modern tv series, something that i, for example, am not very good at, i am not knowledgeable in this, but he is interested in me this enlightens, yes, the huge world of modern serial cinema, but it seems to me that i previously overestimated this contact through the profession, through words,

it still seemed to me that if a person chatted like me and read the same books, we will really build a strong family , in general this is complete nonsense , it seemed to me that i needed to have something to talk about with my husband, indeed, unfortunately, i found out that with my husband it is very important, not that they are not afraid to remain silent, but you just feel that next to this person you don’t have there is a nervous reaction to chatter a pause between you, it is not necessary to remain silent with him , it’s just that such people are uncomfortable, you want to talk to them more, just to push it aside, and this is not the case, and in general the point of contact may be that what for example, what is a pity and what? funny , that is, you should both be funny about the same things or sorry in the same sense, and i also really like the ability to let a person be different, my husband is infinitely far from me in some of his own ways, i don’t know how he communicates with people , what he chooses there, i don’t know, look, yes, he knows

some things that i’m absolutely interested in, they don’t even touch me, and he’s not attracted to things that i’m interested in, absolutely, but it’s so cool that we can exchange this, i can observe this other one.

it’s all on you, let’s forgive me, it’s just because of this overexertion of yourself that this effect is born, don’t spill it, because i have to clean it up now, don’t go in there, because i don’t want to dig up these problems later, it’s like just out of weakness, i generally i was very convinced that parents swear out of weakness, unfortunately , i realized this directly myself, i scold and criticize the child only out of weakness, because i just need to make him really comfortable, really predictable, that’s predictable, it really bothers me , here is the predictability of a child, so that there is, but... impossible, but i also work a lot with this, as if i am moving towards this, to perceive it as such a current life, to enjoy the fact that a child is still a child , but i don’t know if it’s yours, a forty-year-old partner who will vacuum your floor here, turn on the owl, yes, it was such a difficult period for us, just when our second child was born, when i was simply from overexertion, i directly remember, for me it

was a very difficult period, i didn’t i expected that it would be so psychologically difficult for me to hold two children, not physically, not financially, not to wash my butt, not to feed, this is all nonsense. to separate, at some point i just wanted to just tell the older child that just give me peace, give me do it calmly, i just can’t , that’s it, when i was too close at such moments, so, he says, come on, i ’m talking to the owl, i’m not talking to you, i remembered, i switched to this game language, in general , play therapy, humor therapy in relationships. sometimes i don’t like something about a child , and then first i bark, and then i start making jokes about it, and it’s part of our funny family memes, and i understand that your pain has been healed, that is, yes, i barked, to me it hurt, it hurt him, but now it came back through humor and now i’m no longer scared of this situation, they forgive you, yes, yes, for example, it really bothered me before

that samson doesn’t listen to me, he’s just in his dreams all the time and he says that you said this phrase, what what did you say, i ’m talking to you about you, you, you and your mother, who are you, who am i , who is empty, that’s all, that is, with me... still, it seems to me that it’s difficult for a husband to be in such a classic family model all the time involved, i wouldn’t demand it from him, because he has his own burden falls, after all, this is the story, let us be uh-huh. the same size, but it won’t work if you work five days a week , you can’t be so involved with the children, you’ll just miss some things and

miss them, and this is a good thing for mom, well , it will be very exhausting, all this is hard, constantly being closed with the child, you need to go out, you need to relax yourself there , you need to look for ways to pause, but still i would be very upset if i weren’t closely with the children, to be honest, if i didn’t see some little things, like these i i’m writing down for them, i don’t know, but that’s the first smile, the first time i said, this... the word is different today i peeled an egg, i don’t know, these are some little things that are dear to every mother, but they would have passed me by, i would just see a ready-made child who grew up first to 3 years old, then to six, so the kindergarten, school, everything, according to plan, brings, thank god that he does not suffer from the fact that well, you, valeria is such a very observant person thinking that you are suggesting that you see in these children what their mission is, did we say that each generation must find its own way? have you already decided now how we differ fundamentally, how different they have become or are becoming different?

well, it just really seems to me that due to the fact that each generation works out some of these mistakes, it’s just that the new generation has a chance to do something differently, to make it freer, to absorb this experience, but you know , i took some courses here , i admit once again, psychological ones, and there they taught me not to be completely loaded with expectations child.

what are you, you will cry, you will be with him , now he does not follow this smooth road and conflict, you will be angry, you will lose each other, for me it was such zen, such a discovery in general, i have been afraid ever since it’s easy to even load him with expectations and even, well, suggest something about what he’s distracted by, some kind of circle, but this is the maximum, i think, let him choose, because i feel that... it’s not for me to decide, what to do for my children, and now we ’ll take a break for a while, let me remind you that we have telegram channel, say don’t be silent, subscribe , ask questions and suggest guests, we are connected

, based on the fact that i’m probably not a businessman, but a teacher and at least something, well , i don’t know, probably in the future i will be, i will be i’m still still doing business , like my mother, i’ll probably work as a chinese language teacher, the project glance at belarus, i’ve been living here in belarus for 35 years, during these years i’ve already read belarus as my second homeland, i studied philology faculty of lauromanger philology. i think that for especially applicants, belarusian students and also foreign students, this is a very good faculty, a very good specialty, it

generally gives all sorts of prospects, watch on the belarus 24 tv channel, the choice has been made, and now there is a lot of work ahead, it will not be easy, that’s for sure, it’s ordered time, we live on the threshold of a global world transformation and...

the program “tell me not to be silent” is on air again, our guest is the russian writer, literary critic, valeria pustovaya. thanks to you, valeria, we are still amazed we discovered for ourselves that such a magazine as friendship of peoples is published, who is publishing it now, who is filling it out now, we already

have a rough idea, but who reads thick literary magazines?

in literature, yes, history, a literary magazine, it is such a platform that one way or another is very necessary for the professional existence of literature, and of course, it is read, i think, by people who are still professionally at least somehow connected, that is, there are students there -librarians, critics themselves, writers, why, because now of course, the cult of the book, the finished product, which is generally brightly presented, it can be imagined, delivered somewhere, the magazine is a little bit of a lost culture, but it is necessary for literature, why...

magazines are published by people with extensive literary experience in in general, it’s like this - after all, it’s important to get published, i don’t know, debutants still publish their works in magazines and then come out as books, but as i understand it, he remembers with gratitude that they started with a magazine publication, well, that is, it’s still some kind of recognition, this recognition is certainly professional, i’m afraid that reader recognition is when your book is actively sold, yes, but professional recognition can begin in a thick literary magazine. where you have many relatives, they still live there, well, since the magazine is friendship of peoples, yes, what do you think about the prospect of friendship of peoples at this historical stage? well, yes, just now i have just gathered with the kirkizia.