after effects--all the basics. i don't know any of those. [laughs] it's actually not super-complicated. i mean, i'm sure there's some sort of, like, adult education classes in the area. but if you're really serious about graphic design, one thing about new york or philadelphia-- they've got amazing programs out there for design. new york or philadelphia. yeah. all right. cool. well, thanks. and i'll look into those. you should. new york or philadelphia. absolutely. that's where the action is. thanks. new york city, the only city in america... it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, charlamagne tha god! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> charlamagne: hey! welcome to "the daily show!" i go by the name of charlamagne tha god. hello! that's right. now we have an okay show for you tonight. pretty mid. most late night hosts will say they have a great show, but i'd rather tell you the truth! i'm kidding, we've got a great show for you tonight. [cheers and applause] or do we? let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with a man you all know and love. donald trump. [crowd boos] oh, yeah. i think he heard all of you booing. i think if you boo hard enough, he will drop out of the race. [crowd boos] that will do it. i know you don't want to talk about the man, but we have to, because the presidential race is about to kick into high gear. so let's check in on the latest with our ongoing coverage of

"doomocracy 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right, let's get right to the good news: donald trump is definitely not going to be president again. [cheers and applause] the bad news: it's 'cause he's gonna be dictator. >> new warnings that donald trump's re-election would pose a grave threat to american democracy with republican liz cheney sounding the alarm about a potential dictatorship. >> do you believe of donald trump were reelected next year that he would try to stay in office beyond a second term, that he would never leave office? >> there is no question. >> quite a warning from former republican congresswoman liz cheney. she is not alone. >> from "the new york times," "why a second trump presidency may be more radical than the first." and this from "the guardian," "a second trump term will be far more autocratic than the first, >> a special issue of the

"atlantic" magazine details a compelling case about specifically what can happen if donald trump returns to the oval office. two does in essays by the atlantic writers illustrate how the threat to democracy will be bigger than ever before potentially changing america forever. >> charlamagne: all right, that sounds bad but don't forget, don't forget, we still have joe biden standing between him and the white house. yeah, so it's actually even worse. look, it would be absolute insanity to send donald trump back to the oval office. who would hire a guy they already fired once? hey, i know we let go of john because he dipped his penis in the pancake batter. but now that he hates all of us and made a hit list, i say we bring him back. and donald trump is worse than penis pancakes, golf. because i agree with liz cheney. if trump becomes president, he is never -- i mean, never leaving office again. if you are facing that many charges, you would barricade yourself in the white house too.

i don't even think trump wants to be president. he just likes the immunity. if being a host of "let's make a deal" means you can't go to prison, he would be campaigning for that too. [cheers and applause] and by the way, people are just guessing. trump is out there saying what he is going to do. he said he will sick the military on protesters, open internment camps for illegal immigrants, and shutdown media outlets that criticize him. and you know he will, because the last time he was president he tried to get the justice department to investigate "saturday night live" for making fun of him. this dude was really gonna send david s. pumpkins to guantanamo. and i know we are all blaming republicans for a potential trump come back but it's not all on them. it's on democrats too. every single election, they say the republican nominee is going to destroy america.

they said about mitt romney. mitt romney. at this point, romney is just a reusable grocery bag away from being a democrat. even now, if nikki haley won the nomination, democrats would say, she is going to end democracy too. the problem is, trump actually will. but people are tooting it out because democrats have been crying fascist for so long! honestly, liberals, there is only one way for you to stop donald trump. reverse psychology. yeah, yeah. act like you like him. all the maga people care about is owning the libs, so just embrace trump. then they'll reject him. yeah, yeah, yeah. [cheers and applause] listen, listen. i want y'all to endorse him at drag queen story hour. get lin-manuel miranda to write a musical about him. or better yet, better yet, let's

hold a black lives maga rally. [cheers and applause] let's move on from a criminal trying to get back in to government to a criminal who's moving out of government. george santos was expelled from congress on friday. [cheers and applause] i had no idea george santos had a fan club. but he's already found a new way to stay in our hearts and social media feeds forever. >> former congressman george santos has found his new calling. freshly expelled from congress, santos is now on cameo. people can buy personalized messaged from santos for $200 each. >> george santos here wishing you the happiest of holidays. joe and julie would like you to please spend some money on yourself from the gift this year. it could be anything, from botox to luxury goods of any kind, like a trip to hermes over makeup from sephora or a

subscription to onlyfans. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: he's good, he is good, he is good. that guy is very good at cameo. he's good at public speaking. it is relatable. he is a personal touch. you know what? he should run for congress. but yeah, it makes sense that george santos is a star on cameo. knowing his history of lying, he is probably also a cardiologist on wash mack teledoc, too i have no problem once and for staying on cameo. he is a hustler. what i do have a problem with this all the people paying him for cameos. come on, america. you wonder why everyone is behaving so badly. it's because we are rewarding bad behavior! all right? come on, man. [cheers and applause] this dude gets kicked out of congress for stealing credit cards, now we're giving him our credit cards to make videos about how he stole credit cards! i will not knock his hustle.

good luck to you, george santos. he better do these cameos now because they will be way less charming when the background as his cellmate taking a shit. [applause] finally, let's move on to some science news. if you're worried that you might be getting too old to have kids, don't worry, you're not. >> a 70-year-old woman in uganda accomplished something few women her age have ever done. she gave birth to a set of twins. safina nemec wyatt delivered her two bundles of joy by a c-section after successful ivf treatments. the twin boy and girl were born premature and placed in incubators, but they are in stable condition. >> charlamagne: wow. science is amazing. first, doctors are able to create a golden bachelor and now this. [laughter and applause] modern medicine is incredible. for more on this miracle birth, let's go live now to desi lydic. [cheers and applause]

desi! desi, what an incredible triumph of science. >> charlamagne, this is the worst thing that happened to women since chet hanks downloaded tinder? you know what triumph of science i would like to say, let's see if all the doctors responsible and launch them directly into the sun. >> charlamagne: why so harsh? i think it's amazing that a woman could give birth at age 70. >> i think it's terrifying to get pregnant at 70. i don't want to be changing diapers when i am in diapers. and i can't believe a woman of her age had to carry twins. my mom broke her hip carrying a yogurt! and then to endure a c-section? i think at 70, the babies would just fall right out. keep doing those kegels, ladies.

>> charlamagne: i don't know, i think there's something kind of nice about having babies so late in life. you can share the same nap schedule, you can eat the same mushy foods. >> you are forgetting something very unfortunate about babies. they turn into children. you can't play tag with a walker. not to mention, all the young monks at the playground being like, "oh, your grandkids are so cute." they are not my grandkids, you judgy twat! go sip your starbucks and enjoy it while your tits are still higher than your blood pressure. >> charlamagne: okay, desi, i hear you. this isn't for everyone. but what about women who aren't ready to have kids yet? shouldn't they have all the time they want? >> no! no! old age should not be for parenthood. it should be forgetting gonorrhea at the rolling stones reunion tour. >> charlamagne: to get your point, desi. i get your point. but still, there's gotta be one good thing about having a baby

at 70. >> well, i mean, i guess you could say there is one bright spot. the worst part of having kids is raising teenagers. but if you have them at 70, then you probably don't have to worry about that? [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: good point, desi lydic, everybody. [cheers and applause] when we come back, lewis black will recap the year. so don't go anywhere. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show." now, when a news story falls through the cracks, lewis black catches it, for a segment we call "back in black." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> well, it's december, which means two things: one, it's almost the end of the year, and two, i made it through no nut november! [cheers and applause] and to think, my second grade teacher said i'd never amount to anything! naturally, december is the perfect time to look back at the things we're grateful for in 2023. yeah, that's right: me, grateful!

everyone assumes i'm a miserable grinch, but i can be happy. here, just look at this smile! ow! why do people do this? and if you think that 2023 sucks, i have a little secret for you. you suck. you people have no idea how good we had it this year. for starters, this was the first year since the pandemic that things felt almost normal. remember the height of covid? we couldn't do shit! you could die just from going to a party. and not in the fun way, from tainted cocaine! but this year, everything was back: schools, concerts, sports, theater! live theater is so back, this happened. >> republican congresswoman lauren boebert of colorado. she was recently kicked out of a performance of "beetlejuice" the musical for vaping and engaging in some r-rated groping with her

date. >> yeah, lauren boebert was caught jacking off a guy during "beetlejuice" the musical. and you thought it was distracting when people unwrapped hard candy! if you are going to behave that way during a musical, at least do it during "les mis," talk about a play that needs a happy ending. and think about all the scientific advancements this year. they didn't always make us healthier, but they did make us hotter! >> there is growing controversy nationwide over people using a diabetes drug for weight loss. ozempic was used to treat diabetes but in recent months demand for the drug has soared because one of the side effects is weight loss. >> i love ozempic! or, as your favorite celebrity calls it, "oh, i've just been drinking a lot of water." seriously, this drug is a

godsend for anyone who likes losing weight and stealing medicine from diabetics. ha-ha-ha! just try and catch me you one-footed bastard! and let's not forget that 2023 also saw a major milestone in pop culture. >> marvel studios just clocked its worst movie debut ever with the release of "the marvels." with that, disney ceo bob iger is said to be shifting his attention, turning his focus on making a few good films, rather than many that aren't high quality. >> making good films! now there is a concept. so that is why this guy gets paid $50 billion a year! but i think disney is a great company. and i am not just saying that as the star of "inside out." i am saying it as the star of

"inside out 2," and let me assure you, they didn't pay me jack. [applause] at long last, people have finally stopped watching marvel movies. and thank god. my favorite part of any marvel movie is the four times i leave to pee. listen, if i'm spending that long in the theater, i better be sitting next to lauren boebert. but the best pop culture trend in 2023? kanye west. this was the first year in ages that he finally shut the [bleep] up! [cheers and applause] no tweets! no rants! no threats! i'm just glad he finally left the antisemitism to literally everybody else! as if this wasn't enough to be grateful for, this year was also

the beginning of the end for one of humanity's worst inventions. >> elon musk's next, formerly known as twitter, is bleeding major brands. some ads for major brands appeared next to neo-nazi hate speech on x. >> ad revenue for x that already declined by 54% this year. musk himself acknowledges a new advertiser boycott could bankrupt the company. >> yes, elon musk did us all a favor and killed twitter! ♪ for he's a jolly good weirdo ♪ ♪ for he's a jolly good weirdo ♪ ♪ for he's a jolly good weirdo ♪ ♪ can't wait til he dies on mars ♪ [cheers and applause] wow. i am really a good singer. of course, 2023 was also special for us at "the daily show," where we get a whole year of guest hosts, one week at a time. which was great for me, because i never had to bother learning a host's name.

except for you, my main man! [laughter] [cheers and applause] great to see you again, pal. look, next year is gonna be awful. as bad as you think 2024 will be, it's gonna be worse than that. so take a moment to appreciate the good things. and remember, smiling is free. [applause] back to you, chief. >> charlamagne: [laughs] thank you, lewis! lewis black, everyone. when we come back, robin thede will be joining me on the show. so don't go anywhere. [cheers and applause] there you go, there you go. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the creator and star of the emmy-winning hbo series "a black lady sketch show." she can currently be seen in the new prime video film "candy cane lane." >> anyone can make one mistake and then you are cursed and no one can help you. >> she is evil but needy like a cat you bought and raised but hates your guts. >> she sent me looking for gold, frankincense, and myrrh. i mean, gold was easy. obviously, i have a ton of that at my house. but what even is that other stuff? i went to every sephora i could find. i found plenty of fenty but no myrrh! no myrrh! >> she made me dress up as a new york city cop to rescue my wife from a japanese owned high-rise to protect my wife

from terrorists. >> "die hard," that is not even a christmas movie. >> it is the christmas movie. >> i literally cannot with you. >> well, i can with you. >> you won't. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: please welcome robin thede! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> hello, hello! hi! yes! yes! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: how are you, queen thede? >> you know, just in the christmas spirit. >> charlamagne: that's right. >> i never thought i would be 3 inches tall, but the benefit is, i had, like, a 2-inch waist. so that was fun. >> charlamagne: this movie seems pretty fantastical. there are elves and magic and black santa. [laughter] but -- >> now that is facts. >> charlamagne: but the villain is a white woman. so is it fiction or not? [laughter] >> oh, my god. who knows, right? it is funny to imagine a black santa. that is what is so exciting.

i grew up with the typical white santa in all the books and everything. >> charlamagne: we all did. >> but i think now, you know, i think the world is ready for a black santa. especially david alan grier. why not? [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: [laughs] in this movie, you play a christmas figurine and eddie murphy is basically, he had an ear piece to hear what you are saying. that seems like a lot of pressure. >> it seems annoying. do you want this in your ear all the time? it was funny, because the first day, we thought their ear -- so we would go rehearse on set as life people, because eddie and tracee -- tracee ellis ross is incredible in the movie too. yeah! so funny. they wanted me, nick offerman, and chris redd, who played all the figurines, to be there in person, improvise together, get the feeling of it, then we would go to the sound booth and they would hear us on the microphone in their ears and we thought they only heard us when they were rolling. but at the end of the day, tracee just goes, you know, we hear everything you are saying, right? we were having debates about drake albums. we were just, like, being so

annoying while they were trying to work. they didn't tell us after the whole first day. >> charlamagne: the last season of "a black lady sketch show" aired this past spring. [cheers and applause] the fact that the show was even allowed to exist as a huge accomplishment. >> listen, you ain't lying. >> charlamagne: let alone the fact that you picked up a lot of awards for it. what sketch from the show are you most proud of? >> what am i most proud of? i think the court room kiki, the black lady court room! [laughter] yeah. i think that is one because it shows black sisterhood in a really fun way that i think we don't get to experience very often. people always tag me on social media when they have two black ladies at any one place and they are like, black lady dentist! i'm like, stop clapping, get your teeth fixed. so i think that is dope. it lives beyond the show. i think any of those sketches, the bad bitch support group with angela bassett, you know. [applause] we had a lot of fun.

creating these iconic moments that you don't see anywhere else and that you will never see again. you will never see a remake where we actually have all of these amazing actors. >> charlamagne: you have to have a black woman-run show to do a 227 sketch. >> for sure, for sure. and a lot of trust from hbo because i'm sure they were like, what are we making? having issa rae as an ep doesn't hurt. >> charlamagne: that's right. [cheers and applause] >> charlamagne: so we may not have "black lady sketch show" but we still have robin thede. >> i didn't die just because the show is over. >> charlamagne: that's right. "candy cane lane" is streaming now on prime video. [cheers and applause] give it up for robin thede, y'all! [cheers and applause] we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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ooo, gangsta. in a hurry? there's not a faster, easier way to put on shoes. they know a 10 when they see it. >> charlamagne: that's our show for tonight. now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> heart of the social security administration, they are using just 7% of their office space. buying and renting, of course, is a ho ho ho lot more expensive. okay, my staffer at that. but i thought it was good. ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪