straight from ryan's soul? not at all. can we go? kapoor and kadesperate, he watches. second line. he is a drifter out to sea. and when the indian ocean calms, one speck of white remains, in waters cold and kelly green. it's just so dumb. but when he describes himself as a child lost on the life raft-- uh, ryan can never know. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic and i will be your host all week! [cheers and applause] unless the supreme court strikes that down. they love ruling against women. it's a fun game we play. we've got a great show for you tonight, so let's get into it, with our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with nikki haley. she made a big announcement today, but it wasn't the one we're all expecting. >> some of you, perhaps a few of you in the media, came here today to see if i'm dropping out of the race. [laughter] well, i'm not. [cheers and applause] >> desi: [laughs] okay, we'll just wait another week then! do what you want, but it's not a good sign for your campaign if

you have to keep announcing that you're not dropping out of the race. nikki haley's campaign has reached the "guest who doesn't know when to leave the party" stage. republican voters are like, "oof, oh, god, i got to wake up early tomorrow," and nikki is like, "ooh, let's start a game of risk!" and if this speech was supposed to convince people that she should stay in the race, i'm not really sure it did. >> we've all heard the calls for me to drop out. the argument is familiar: they say i haven't won a state, that my path to victory is slim. they point to the primary polls and say i'm only delaying the inevitable. why keep fighting when the battle was apparently over after iowa? >> desi: uh, she's making a really good case against herself! "they say my campaign is making everyone sad. that i'm a born loser whose own

mother wouldn't vote for her. they claim i have a 14% on rotten tomatoes, and i'm not even a movie! anyway, what were we talking about?" although, look, if haley wants to stay in, it's her right. if her strategy is to just hope that donald trump goes to prison for life, she wouldn't be the only one. [speaks in melania's accent] "game recognize game." [speaks in natural voice] speaking of donald trump, it's been a week now since russian dissident alexei navalny mysteriously died in prison after devoting his life to fighting vladimir putin's dictatorship. and donald trump honored him in the only way he knows how, by making it about himself. >> the former president, for his part, weighed in yesterday evening. what he did was he shared an opinion piece on his social media website that compares president biden with vladimir putin, and compares himself with alexei navalny. [audience reacts] >> desi: this is utterly disgusting, but i have to give

trump credit, i didn't realize he could make analogies! look at that, he's got the double colons and everything. my little guy's ready for the sats! but yes, it is unacceptable to compare navalny with trump. navalny sacrificed his life for democracy. donald trump tried to sacrifice mike pence's life to kill democracy. you could not find two men who are further apart than these two. if you are stupid enough to believe that donald trump is a courageous freedom fighter like alexei navalny, then good news, trump has some perfume he'd like to sell you. >> new trump branded cologne. it's called trump47, with the former president's head at the top of the bottle. according to the website selling the cologne, it smells of a crisp opening of citrus blends into a cedar heart, underpinned by a rich base of leather and amber. >> desi: the last time trump was

underpinned by a rich base of leather and amber, amber had to sign an nda. [laughter and applause] [cheers and applause] also, i love the shape of that bottle! is that cologne or a vibrator from hell? the first vibrator that doesn't believe in the female orgasm! now you might think this perfume is just a quick grift to help trump after he was hit with a $355 million judgment for fraud. and based on their ad campaign, you would be right! >> confident. sexy appeared guilty of fraud. introducing victory 47. the new fragrance from donald trump that is definitely not a desperate cash grab. you want to smell like this, and now y you can. grab her by the nostrils. donald trump is an icon of grace. take a whiff of victory 47.

a scent that tells everyone, i want to help a millionaire pay off his raper lawsuit. send donald trump money. he really needs it. victory 47 it is now available next to the discount candy at yr local cbs. victory 47. smelling this code should be illegal and it normally is. [cheers and applause] >> desi: now if you think hawking perfume is undignified for the frontrunner for president -- excuse me -- don't worry, it's not just perfume. >> donald trump introducing a new sneaker line at a shoe conference in philly over the weekend. >> this is a big crowd. >> appearing at sneaker con in philadelphia. >> we're going to remember the young people, and we're going to remember sneaker con. you're sneaker heads, right? >> the former president took today to promote a money-making deal, having struck a naming rights agreement for a limited

edition sneaker line. the most expensive pair in the series selling for $399. >> that's the real deal. [cheering] that's the real deal. >> desi: finally, a sneaker that won't make me feel bad when i accidentally step in shit. [laughter and cheering] no, i'm kidding. this is actually the perfect shoe to tell the world you're about to lose a game of one-on-one by 50 points. to be fair, though, at least when you give money to trump, you actually get something in return. if you give money to democrats, all you get is 50,000 emails asking for more money. send me a body spray, nancy! but who am i to judge? i'm still wearing crocs from the first time they were popular! to find out what real sneaker heads think about these shoes, we sent our very own

josh johnson to investigate. >> what's up, world? i am josh johnson and donald trump just released his new never surrender high tops. there is only 1,000 being released in at 400 bucks a pop they were probably not put a dent in the judgment against him, so i hit the streets today to talk some real sneaker heads to see if he is a copper drop. ♪ ♪ >> what do you think of these sneakers? >> you know, it is very patriotic. >> i think there is no rules and fashion. where whatever you want. but me personally, i would not wear this. >> would you wear these? >> no. hard pass. >> it looks very 2009. >> they look like they don't bend. >> what are your thoughts on this issue? [laughs] >> trying to be chic while also very nationalistic. >> caught you. now would you wear this shoe? >> no. if you wore these to school, you might get roasted up? what grade are you in? >> seventh. >> you are in seventh grade? >> how tall are you?

>> 6'1". i play basketball. >> you should. do you think there is a "like mike" situation, where as soon as you put them on, you get indicted? >> probably. if you are not indicted by the judicial system, you will be indicted by society. >> do you think they go down if he goes to jail? >> i think if he goes to jail, they are going 20k, something crazy. >> really? >> people are nuts like these. >> i am wearing these. they get robbed, they get taken off of me. >> you are not getting robbed for those. >> these are robbery repellent. >> people want to give you tips on fashion. why are you wearing those? >> shoes are very symbolic of who you are as a person. if you have [bleep] up she was, you might be a [bleep] up person. >> those are pretty bad but what about yours? those are some dirty ass shoes, bro. hell no. you about to run a marathon? >> it is really about trump --

>> [laughs] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: all right, when we come back, we'll find out the latest way alabama has made history. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

♪ just the two of us ♪ ♪ we can make it if we try ♪ ♪ just the two of us ♪ ♪ (just the two of us) ♪ get two entreés and an appetizer for $25. only at applebee's. the economy is simply not working for millions of hard working families. they're working harder than ever and they still can't make enough to get by to afford food and medicine to even keep a roof over their heads. we need to build more housing that's truly affordable. we need to address this terrible epidemic of homelessness. we need to invest in good paying jobs, union jobs and investments in our future. this, this is why i'm running for the us senate. i'm adam schiff and i approve this message.

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>> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." ever since roe v. wade was overturned two years ago, women have been predicting that conservatives would go after other reproductive rights next. and people said, [chuckles] "heh, there go those hysterical women being hysterical again." well, guess [bleep] what. >> this morning, a first of its kind decision by the alabama supreme court that could put families' access to fertility treatments in the post-roe era at risk. the case in question involves a patient who managed to access the freezer storing frozen embryos at an alabama fertility clinic. the patient picked up multiple embryos and mistakenly dropped and destroyed them. the state's high court says that patient can now be held liable in a wrongful death lawsuit. the court determining frozen embryos qualify as people under its state law, ruling unborn children are children without exception based on

developmental stage. >> desi: that's right. the bar has been moved again. from now on in alabama, life begins when a man notices his first cousin is hot. just to clarify what's happening here: tens of thousands of women have children using ivf every year. and since it's not possible to do that without creating some excess embryos, the state of alabama has now ruled that starting a family is basically murder. you know, pro-life! and the way this ruling happened is so crazy. this wasn't even intentional. they just dropped a test tube! you know, back in my day, we had something called the five-second rule, and it was sacred. and i'm sorry, but it's just weird to say that frozen embryos are legally the same as children. last time i checked, you're not allowed to store kids in the freezer. and yeah, i have checked, and now i'm on some kind of cps watch list. don't get me wrong, embryos are extremely precious to potential

parents. but technically, they're just jizz and eggs! that's not a child, that's an appetizer at a very avant garde brooklyn restaurant. for more on this court decision, we go live to an ivf clinic in alabama with our own ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, what do you think the fallout of this will be? >> i'll tell you what the fallout is, desi: turns out, i'm a father now. that's right. say hello to little ronny jr. look, he's got his dad's eyes. rock-a-bye, baby, i don't know the rest of the lyrics to that. >> desi: okay, i can tell you're running a scam, i just don't know how yet. >> no, this is not a scam! this is a legal child in the state of alabama. which means i get all the

benefits of being a dad without having to be a dad. i get to claim him on my taxes, i get paternity leave, i can hang out at the mcdonalds ball pit without being hassled. best of all, he's my excuse to get out of shit i don't want to do. which reminds me, can we wrap this up already? cause i got to go feed my son. >> desi: wait, how do you feed an embryo? >> easy. you just pour a little fish food in there. look. here comes the plane! [applause] don't worry, it's organic. >> desi: oh, my god. ronny, drop the act. i know you hate kids. >> no, desi, i just hate your kids. they're always waving at me. hello, goodbye. enough already! i get it. >> desi: ronny, you're making a mockery of parenthood. >> hey, take it up with the state of alabama.

because according to them, this is a human life, and it's so precious that people might go to prison for messing with it. so that means i'm a dad, free and clear -- [audience reacts] oh, no! ronny jr.! oh, shit, that's the cops! i thought we defunded those guys! desi, i gotta flee the state. you didn't see shit! >> desi: okay, all right. [cheers and applause] good luck, ronny! ronny chieng, everyone. when we come back, danai gurira will be joining us. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor and playwright who is the cocreator and star of the new amc miniseries, "the walking dead: the ones who live." >> my name is michonne. i lost someone years ago. [screaming] >> but i just find out that he might -- i just found out that he is alive. >> desi: oh, oh, oh! please welcome danai gurira!

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] oh, my goodness! >> beautiful guys! thank you! [cheers and applause] >> desi: lovely to meet you and i'm happy to see you. thank you so much for being here. >> of course. >> desi: i am such a fan of your work. you are an incredible actress and you command such a presence every time you are on screen. these roles that you play, you play these extraordinary, powerful, resilient, katana-wielding women. do you ever feel like you just want to take a break and play linda from hr? >> [laughs] you know, as long as she dresses cute. >> desi: yeah! >> that is what i missed. i miss wearing cute clothes when i go to work. >> desi: think about that. not having blood smeared everywhere. >> yeah, that is the makeup.

just smearing and dust, get some more dust on here, get some more dirt. that is perfect. >> desi: you still want to kill zombies. >> don't take away the katana. let me hold onto that. >> desi: i think you are managing it. you are managing to kill zombies. >> can i be in a jar with a katana? >> desi: i think it's an asset. we don't even have hr here. [laughter] our budget got cut. that's not true. we will edit that part out. [laughter] you -- what is so interesting to me about this series is that you are not only acting in it, but you executive produce, you cocreated it. you write on it. was it challenging just juggling all the hats in one project? >> it was actually really cool, because from where you start, you get a roll, 12 years ago. it is in this show that was massive at the time, and i am just hoping i can keep this katana in my hand and not drop it, when you are shooting.

then to go through this whole arc with the character and the journey she has had, which has been tremendous, and i'm very thankful for how she was written. to go and actually creating the spin-off that completes her story with the man who she loves, with rick grimes, that was a very cool arc. i mean, the interesting part of it were of course executive producing is a lot of work, but then there was an episode that i wrote that i was sure running and they were like, don't talk to me, talk to her. there were times i am in this very intense episode and then i noticed that the corpse in this scene doesn't look that enough. and i am like, special effects makeup, can you just help me with this a little bit? i have to jump out of michonne and make sure she looks good and three weeks dead, and then jump back into the role. >> desi: of course, "the walking dead" fans are going to devour this like a zombie on slash. [laughter] truly, it stands on its own if

you haven't watched the series. it is its own beast. >> thank you. i think that is true. it really is the epic love story of the series. if you haven't watched it, you can latch and because you can see what has happened to rick, what is happening with michonne and how they come together and what happens there. it really stands on its own. it was an interesting journey to actually get the opportunity because "the walking dead" was such a juggernaut of various narratives, big villains, lots of things going on. so to actually step into just these two and their journey, and a love story in the apocalypse, it was really, really fun, and intense. >> desi: you can feel that. i can't wait -- maybe you would consider sneaking me the rest of the episodes because i don't think i can wait until they come out. if you don't mind. >> i will look into it. [laughter] >> desi: now "the walking dead" franchise is considered a sci-fi zombie apocalypse, but are you concerned when you look at this stage of the world? is it becoming a little more of

a political drama? >> i think they have been neck and neck for, like, ten years. you know? [laughter] what i love about "the walking dead" and what attracted me to it, because i was scared out of my mind of horror. but what attracted me to it when i was asked to audition for it in 2012, was the fact that it was about people, characters, like -- and everyone was like, who would i be if the world ended? of everything that was convenient to me and normal to me just was gone? and everything was just totally up ended? who what i become? i think that is actually what attracts people to it. it became this family show. we meet people, like, 7-year-olds to 70-year-olds who are watching with their family every week. it is how mothers bonded with their 14-year-olds. it was kind of amazing to see that it was having that effect. but i think it was really just seeing people come all types of people navigate something that u almost can. >> desi: yeah.

>> everyone is like, who would i do, what what i become? people told me they got decked out for the bad there that could come, they got it all in the garage. >> desi: doomsday properties. what is the craziest thing that a pepper has told you they are collecting? >> that is a good question. i've heard a lot about peanut butter. people like their peanut butter. people love peanut butter. >> desi: i collect that, just jars and tubs. i hide it under my bed just in case i need it. >> there's nothing like a good spoon of peanut butter. >> desi: i got this under this test. do you want some? [laughter] your birthday just passed. happy birthday. her birthday is on valentine's day. [cheers and applause] >> yes. >> desi: to celebrate, you wrote this beautiful post. what was behind that message? tell us a little bit about the foundation. >> i created it because i just think valentine's day is such a

sucky holiday. people are expecting things, give me roses and candy but it is beautiful, it's about love, and i was trying to repurpose it, about six, seven, eight years ago when i had a show on broadway and it was an all woman play, and i just wanted to say, what is this day that is always been associated with the day i was born? i could never disassociate with it. what if it was just about love and loving girls more, so that a lot of the things that they face and the discrimination they face and the troubles they face and the celebrations they face just get more attention on that day? so i decided to make that as the theme of the idea of love our girls, which is just an information hub. it is just learn more about what girls and women are doing around the world and celebrate them and support them. you can create advocates until you create information or just share information. that is really all it is. it's an informational hub to celebrate women and girls and show them love. [cheers and applause] >> desi: oh, so beautiful.

thank you so much for the work that you do. all of the work. and i cannot wait to finish this series. you are incredible and it."the o live" premiers february 25th on amc and amc+. danai gurira! we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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♪ [cheers and applause] >> desi: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: please consider donating to the yellowhammer fund. they're an organization that supports reproductive justice in alabama. if you can, please donate at the link below. now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> know this is hardly the first surreal product that the former president has promoted. there was a trump ice and ice trays, vodka, coffee, steaks, cutting board, flask in the shape of a football, honey dipper, urine test kits, gameboard, gold colored airboats, cologne, his and her luxury robes, scented candles, mattresses, pickleball paddles, a usb drive in the shape of a

gold bar, mortgages, diplomas, nfts, and never surrender merchandise, of course, featuring his mug shot. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ ♪ wild thing ♪ by: tone loc [can opens] ♪♪ grab a pepsi wild cherry and get wild. ♪ say hello, to future you. ♪

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