you... heidi: i call it emoji analysis. it isn't a student, it's an adult. this ugliness came from our family. i think it's one of the parents. you're supposed to just laugh and make fun of shit. daddy called you a pussy. oh, my god. oh, my god! ike, come on! kyle?! ike?! [ echoing ] what, what, whaaat?! >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news... this is "the daily show" with your host, desi lydic! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to the daily show, i'm desi lydic. we have a great show for you tonight to pick out joe biden's dog turns the secret service into an all-you-can-eat buffet, we hear why your grandmas but but dials couldn't go through and we put an end back to a terrible rumor by nikki haley. plus a performance by grammy winner jason isbell -- let's get into the headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with a scandal that's been rocking the white house. according to a new report, joe biden's dog commander a bit secret service agents at least 24 times before he was banished from the white house last october. 24 times!

[laughter] i'm sorry, even john wick would be like "you've got to get rid of that dog." [laughter] let's move on to another world leader, beyonce. [cheers and applause] she just made history by becoming the first black woman to top the country music chart. [cheers and applause] huge! with her hit song "texas hold 'em" -- brace yourself girls and gays, half your friends on instagram are going to be spending the summer thinking they can pull off cowboy hats -- they can't. [laughter] this is very exciting for everyone except for jay-z. lemonade was great but if you get caught cheating in a country song, thoughts and prayers, jay-z. thoughts and prayers. in tech news tens of thousands of people across the country lost cell phone service this morning when at&t and other companies were hit with a

massive outage. no one got any calls or texts. thousands of americans finding out what it's like to be ted cruz. [laughter and cheering] i bet cable companies were feeling pretty cocky this morning "well, well, well, guess the landline isn't so useless anymore, is at? now if you'll excuse me i'm getting a call. it's a telemarketer." for more on this fallout of this service disruption, we turn to troy iwata! [cheers and applause] troy, were you affected by this awful outage? >> troy: awful? this was the best morning of my life. i reconnected with an old friend and his name is troy. [laughter] i looked up at the world around

me. children were laughing, people were chatting -- bonjour monsieur! >> desi: okay, i'm glad you had a nice time off the grid to. what can you report about the impact of this outage? emergency services had trouble all day. >> troy: and you know who didn't know about that? me. i had no service. i wasn't reading dumb notifications, i was taking a walk with the beat of a stranger i met on the train and we took a horse carriage ride and we sat by the lake and we watched two swans make love, it was -- [laughter] it was very loud. [laughter] i've never seen a swan finish before. [laughter] then i meditated under a tree and i entered eight transcendental enlightenment and i experienced ego death. i also baked these snickerdoodles. >> desi: i love snicker

snickerdoodles! troy, i have to admit i didn't realize there was such an upside to this outage. >> troy: from the bottom my heart i want to thank whoever was behind this. whether it was russian operatives or al qaeda, or just good old-fashioned case of people sucking at their job, thank you! [laughter] thank you so much for this morning. >> desi: that's wonderful, it sounds like this was a transformative experience for you. how will this new outlook and form your life now that the services back on? [laughter] troy. [cheers and applause] troy? >> d>> troy: oh, sorry, some guy on tiktok is reviewing a fake jesus -- idiot. >> desi: welcome back, troy.

troy iwata, everybody! [cheers and applause] let's move on to the presidential race of our ongoing coverage of indecision 2024. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] there's been a lot of talk about nikki haley this week and how she's staying in the race despite having worse odds and the new york mets winning next year's super bowl. i have to say i'm actually glad she's staying in the race because even if you don't agree with her politics, she's still really pissing donald trump off and that's a beautiful thing. [cheers and applause] she is clearly on his enemies list along with the law and waistbands. [laughter] she's not just the only trump alternative in the g.o.p. race. according to the media, she's also the only moderate one. >> nikki haley has this moderate old-school republicanism. >> she's become the candidate of

the moderates. >> a moderate like nikki haley increasingly an outsider and the republican party. >> desi: yes, obviously nikki haley is a moderate, it's something everybody knows like joe biden is old or rfk is a biohazard or tim scott is crying on the inside. [laughter] it's a fact that nobody disputes. but is it a fact? is nikki haley the moderate in the race? when you actually take a look at her policies, they aren't that different from trump. she also wants to build the wall. she also wants mass deportations. she's also opposed to obamacare and the paris climate the courts and in fact on abortion she's even more extreme than trump. she supports a national ban after six weeks before most women even know they are pregnant. at six weeks the symptoms are fatigue and stomach issues and women can't take a pregnancy test every time they get bubble

cuts. [laughter] it's not that she doesn't care about women's issues, it's that she has a very unmoderate idea about women's issues are. speak of the idea we have biological boys playing in girls sports, it is the women's issue of our time. [laughter] >> desi: , nikki? that's the women's issue of our time? not abortion access or equal pay or even how to park your hair so teens don't bully you? [laughter] [cheers and applause] i never thought i'd say this but nikki haley is so bad at knowing what women actually want, i think her husband should order for her at restaurants. [laughter] most of her policies aren't more moderate than trump and if you

ask her, she as herself doesn't identify as a moderate to. >> on the campaign trail, she has made it very clear she's not a moderate. >> i have been a conservative fighter all my life, i was a tea party candidate when i became governor and we passed one of the toughest illegal immigration laws in the country. we took on the union said we took on obama, when it came to the unions and the syrian refugees and everything in between. >> desi: guys, she says she's not a moderate, believe women! [laughter] [cheers and applause] if she doesn't say she's a moderate and her policies aren't moderates, why is everyone calling her a moderate? i guess it could be her demeanor? she's certainly the only candidate speaking at a moderate volume. you have trump screaming so loud at&t satellites are exploding. [laughter] then you have by then every

press conference whispering to every ghost of christmas past using a proper inside voice is going to seem like a breath of fresh air. that can't be all of it to. when it comes down to it, there's only one real difference between nikki haley and donald trump that's getting her this label. >> do i think joe biden is the legitimate yes. [laughter] >> desi: wow, what a reasonable middle-of-the-road answer, the man who won the election won the election. but that's where we're at, that is the big split in the republican party today. do you think joe biden won the election or did you take a shit on nancy pelosi's desk? [applause] the media isn't used to

discussing democracy versus fascism, they are used to discussing left versus right so they put donald trump on the far right and anybody who didn't storm the capital becomes a moderate. but that means that any republican no matter what their views are gets labeled as a moderate just because they believe in democracy. like a georgia governor brian kemp. he's been called the most conservative governor in georgia's history but he also doesn't think the election was stolen, so now people call him a moderate. for liz cheney, she denies climate change, she's antiabortion, and she loves bombing other countries just as much as her dad. [laughter] she's a nympho-bomber. she loves bombing other countries so much she thought oppenheimer was the first season of abcs sitcom. because she said trump lost guess what she is called. >> you got liz cheney being a

female voice in the revoking party demanding a more moderate approach. >> the thoughtful, moderate pros constitution republicans like liz cheney -- >> desi: you might be wondering why does it even matter? so what if the media mistakenly calls conservatives moderates, sometimes i called my husband my ex-boyfriend's name, it's fine. he barely notices, he loves me. [laughter] but it doesn't matter because the word moderate needs much more than just believing joe biden won the election. most people still think it means not extreme or willing to compromise, so when the media attaches this label to candidates who support abortion bans and endless wars, that makes those beliefs sound moderate they are not. of the media should not be labeling those as moderates because they passed the low bar of not overthrowing the government. [applause] [cheers and applause]

i'm sorry if i'm getting emotional about this but i just believe that having biological conservatives competing in moderate sports, that is the women's issue of our time. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll talked to jason isbell, so don't go to jason isbell, so don't go away.

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unleash your senses. [cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is a grammy award-winning musician whose latest album is called "weathervanes." he can also be seen in the oscar-nominated film "killers of the flower moon," please welcome jason isbell. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ oh, my goodness! congratulations. >> thank you. >> desi: you got another grammy. >> i got a couple, it was crazy. >> desi: this is how many, six? >> this is a six. >> desi: good lord, well-deserved. not only are you an accomplished

musician, but you are now an incredible actor. you were in martin scorsese's "killers of the flower moon" which has been nominated for all of the academy awards. and you are great in it. did you find the grind of touring and performing prepared you for the pure stamina you needed to sit through the entire movie start to finish? [laughter] >> i did really good at not peeing and that helps a lot to. >> desi: you are well trained for it. >> it was an incredible experience to see all that go down. i didn't know why i was there. >> desi: don't be so -- you're incredible in the film. >> thank you, i do believe they didn't let me screw the movie up. but it took a little while for me to realize -- they had this guy who was a dialect coach. all day every day he was working with dicaprio and de niro on talking like this. [laughter]

i went and met with him and he said we are going to hang out, i don't have any notes for you. just talk like you talk and i thought i know why i'm here, they are saving money on the dollar. >> desi: talent and a budget cuts, two birds, one stone. that's so funny -- i also heard that an incident happened on the set when you were doing a scene with leonardo dicaprio. >> yeah, there was an incident. >> desi: do you want to tell at? >> i would not have volunteered to tell the story -- [laughter] >> desi: we should, i have the sense of humor of a 14-year-old boy i would love for you to tell this story. >> we are in this very small space and we are shooting this scene where the two of us get up and each other space and its contents. we are not friends, we are about to throw hands. it gets really serious, we are doing this for a couple of hours. all of a sudden there were 30 crew people in the room and me and leo. at the camera was rolling, the

film was happening, all of a sudden somebody in the crew flatulated. [laughter] >> desi: you said that in the most polite, southern way. "he -- i assume it was a key, it could have been a she. >> whoever it was, you could tell that person had lost a great battle, just by the sound of it. [laughter] of course everybody being the best of the best, nobody did anything, nobody went t farted, it was like -- what happened was i started laughing and dicaprio started laughing as i thought oh great we are doing one of those blooper reels, i've never been in a movie before. this guy farted, it's going to be great. and he wove the laugh into his character and all of a sudden it

was ernest laughing at bill and i was not bill anymore, i was a redneck laughing at a farting man. and i realize this is why one of us has an oscar and the other is about a budget for an accent. [laughter] [applause] >> desi: i want to talk about "weathervanes." you have a song called "middle of the morning" and you talk about being a strong but silent southern man. do you feel like the idea of what a southern man is, or southern masculinity has evolved in your lifetime? >> we are trying to of all of that with evidence sometimes shows the contrary to be true. [laughter] >> desi: haus so? [laughter] in my experience we are not always the best at talking about how we feel that makes is

not great at dealing with our emotions, things will come out in ways we don't intend them to, we are not able to say i am scared or i am sad -- i don't necessarily know that's a southern thing but it definitely happens a lot in the south and that's where i came from. >> desi: you are going to stay and perform for us, you're going to perform a song called cast iron skillet. i am from kentucky, i'm no stranger to southern phrases like don't watch the cast iron skillet, that's why i never do the dishes. but you have a way of using these simple southern phrases but there's a much deeper meaning underneath, what was the inspiration behind the song? >> i like to make characters and follow them around. when i start a song i don't necessarily know how it's going to end, i just like to make characters you can believe and are honest and see how they behave as human people would behave. and a sometimes that character is the narrator, because this --

this song has. separate stories. both of them are true and both of them have at the people i was close to when i was a child. the first story is about a couple of guys i went to school with who went down a bad path, wound up murdering somebody and going to prison for the rest of their lives. the second part is about a relative i had to fell in love with a black man and her dad disowned her and never spoke to her again. these things really happened, this was the 80s and the 90s, and they still happen today. the narrator is trying to give advice but is not really good advice. here's the secret, you can wash the skillet. it will be fine, you can wash the skillet. a lot of times i'll write a song that will have some southern words of wisdom in it and some people will say "that's not exactly right." and i'm like you're almost there, you're almost understanding the song.

[laughter] [applause] >> desi: i cannot wait for you to perform, i'm very excited, everyone here is very excited to. [cheers and applause] "weathervanes" is v available nw and "killers of the flower moon"'s streaming globally on apple tv+. stick around, jason is going to to duckduckgo on all your devie

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skillet ♪ ♪ don't drink and drive, you'll spill it ♪ ♪ don't ask too many questions or you'll never get to sleep ♪ ♪ there's a hole inside you, fill it ♪ ♪ shower up and shave ♪ ♪ put flowers on the grave ♪ ♪ and ask the lord to save his soul ♪ ♪ although you know it's too late ♪ ♪ was it twenty-seven times, or was it twenty-nine? ♪ ♪ i heard the blade broke off inside the man ♪ ♪ and he took a while to die ♪ ♪ how did he get so low? ♪ ♪ seems like just a week ago ♪ ♪ we were ten and twelve years old ♪ ♪ he was sweet and soft ♪ ♪ shied away from the inside fastballs ♪

♪ and died doing life without parole ♪ ♪ don't wash the cast iron skillet ♪ ♪ that dog bites my kid, i'll kill it ♪ ♪ don't walk where you can't see your feet ♪ ♪ don't ask questions, just believe it ♪ ♪ jamie found a boyfriend ♪ ♪ with smiling eyes and dark skin ♪ ♪ and her daddy never spoke another word to her again ♪ ♪ the old man at the quickstop ♪ ♪ lying to the county cops ♪ ♪ and laughing like his soul was without sin ♪ ♪ how did he get so low? ♪ ♪ seems like just a week ago ♪ ♪ she was sitting on your shoulders watching fireworks in

the sky ♪ ♪ he treats her like a queen ♪ ♪ but you don't know 'cause you ain't seen ♪ ♪ it's hard to go through life without your daddy by your side ♪ ♪ don't wash the cast iron skillet ♪ ♪ this town won't get no better, will it? ♪ ♪ she found love and it was simple as a weather vane ♪ ♪ but her own family tried to kill it ♪ ♪ don't wash the cast iron skillet ♪ ♪ don't wash the cast iron skillet ♪ ♪ don't wash the cast iron ♪

♪ don't wash the cast iron ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ music playing ♪ [tire screech] ♪ it's time ♪ ♪ to say goodbye, ♪ ♪ goodbye, ♪ [notification sound] ♪ hello ♪ [phew] ♪

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