mr. pensky: gee, george. i'm sorry i gave you the wrong impression. what i was going to say was, "now, you are aware "that our board of directors has been indicted. "myself included. "and we're prohibited from doing business until the investigation is completed." so, obviously, we would have no use for you. -obviously. -[intercom buzzes] -yes? -woman: excuse me, but mr. costanza's car is being towed. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and michael kosta! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm desi lydic. >> michael: and i'm michael kosta. we have a great show for you tonight. the clock is ticking on tiktok, lewis black cancels ai, and rfk jr. has done the impossible: made his candidacy even weirder. but first, let's get into our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024!" [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with the presidential race. yesterday, joe biden and donald trump both secured enough delegates to clinch their parties' nominations, making this officially a three-man race between trump, biden, and natural causes. although there is another candidate in the race who can play a big role:

robert f. kennedy jr. he's polling as high as 22% so far, which means he could lose the election more successfully than any third party candidate in years. and soon we'll find out who he'll choose to lose alongside him. >> robert kennedy jr. says he has chosen his running mate and will announce his vp pick in the next two weeks. the independent presidential candidate says his shortlist includes new york jets quarterback aaron rodgers, who came under scrutiny during the pandemic for misleading the public about his vaccination status. >> michael: that's right, aaron rodgers could be rfk jr's running mate. this would be the greatest president and vice president pairing of all time... is what i'm assuming the measles virus is saying. a football player in the white house feels like progress. we don't need any more aging old men with brain problems, we need a strong, young man with brain problems! i just don't know if aaron rodgers is qualified to be next in line for the presidency. but i guess we don't have to

worry about that -- when has a kennedy ever died unexpectedly? [audience reacts] [laughter] >> desi: don't forget, aaron rodgers is supposed to be the starting quarterback for the jets next season. so the question is, what's he going to do if the jets make it to the super bowl? [laughter] i almost held it together. >> michael: that's good. >> desi: almost. meanwhile, rfk isn't the only candidate closing in on a running mate. donald trump has also been looking at potential vice presidents. he's focus-grouping their appeal, feeling them out on policy, seeing how soft their lips feel on his ass. and this week, one of trump's leading contenders made a strong, if somewhat unusual bid for the spotlight. >> south dakota governor kristi noem is making waves after releasing a video on social media promoting a cosmetic dentist in a different state, texas. >> the team here was remarkable

and finally gave me a smile i can be proud of and confident in. i can be confident when i smile at people and know that they can actually appreciate and see the kindness in my face and the love that i have for them. my husband and i flew down to houston, got here at 2:00 in the morning, and did an appointment that very next week. i'll be eternally grateful. it has been a gift to be here at smile texas. [laughter] >> desi: what is going on here? why is a sitting governor doing an ad for veneers, and for a dentist in another state? isn't that insulting to south dakota? "i flew to texas at 2:00 in the morning because these hillbilly dipshits in my state are that bad. next week i'm going to florida for a haircut." this is just so cringey. why is she shilling for smile texas when she should be shilling for west side dental spa, who do great work.

use code "desi" to get me 25% off my next cleaning. [cheers and applause] that being said, i am impressed. this might be the first time a woman has had to fly in to texas to see a doctor. [audience reacts] [applause] >> michael: i do appreciate a politician being so transparent with the fact that they're bought. they should do this all the time! "my fellow americans, the state of our union is easy, breezy, beautiful. covergirl." let's move on to the big news of the day. if you're like many americans, you're on tiktok. in fact, you're probably on it right now while this show plays in the background. hey! hey! i'm on tv over here! pay attention! unless you're watching me on tiktok, in which case, nice, thank you. anyway, tiktok is huge, but if congress has its way, that's

about to change. >> we begin this at war with breaking news up on capitol hill, just minutes ago, house lawmakers passed a bill that could lead to a band of the very popular social media platform tiktok here in the united states. the measure would give the company less than six months to sell to a nonchinese owner, if that doesn't happen, tiktok could be shut down here in the united states. >> lawmakers from both parties warning that china could manipulate the algorithms to spread its own propaganda, or data like your browser history and location could be shared with the chinese government. >> this is not an attempt to ban tiktok. it's an attempt to make tiktok better. tic-tac-toe. a winner. a winner. >> michael: that's right, congress might be banning tiktok or banning tic-tac-toe, i'm not sure nancy pelosi knows. also, "tic-tac-toe, winner"? tic-tac-toe is always a tie. unless you're playing your three-year-old. then i'm winning three out of

five times! but yes, obviously there is a problem with a chinese app spying on americans and feeding us propaganda. you want american apps doing that. but is this app really a chinese propaganda tool? the most viral tiktok right now is just this: chocolate strawberries. that has more than 710 million views, and there's nothing political about it. i mean, yes, it does make me want to invade taiwan a little, but aside from that, it's harmless! >> desi: what's interesting here is how unpredictable the breakdown of the vote was. marjorie taylor green and aoc voted together against the bill. nancy pelosi and lauren boebert voted for it. both nightmare blunt rotations, by the way. meanwhile, biden says he'd sign the bill, and trump has come out against it. the only thing you can really count on is that young people hate it. and tiktok is doing everything it can to mobilize them.

>> the company has launched an all out lobbying effort both on the app and on capitol hill. >> if you're on tiktok, there's a good chance you've got an alert to say, call your member of congress. phones are ringing off the hook in many offices here in washington. >> we had little children calling into our office and others basically saying questions like, "what is congress?" "what is a congressman?" "can i have my tiktok back?" >> desi: that's how you know this issue is important: it's forced gen-z to make their very first phone call. and you know congressmen must have been pissed at teenagers blowing up their phones all day. i mean, well, matt gaetz didn't mind. [audience reacts] [cheers and applause] the rest of them were pissed. >> michael: i have to say, as an american, it's great that these kids are getting involved in the civic process. you're never too young to start getting ignored by your congressperson.

for more on the tiktok ban, we go live to washington, d.c. with ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, what's the feeling up on capitol hill? >> i'll tell what the feeling should be. america should be feeling humiliated right now. china made an app so popular that the government has to ban it. that means communist china beat free market america at capitalism! that's like your whole thing, america! and you lost! this is as bad as that time the asian dude won the hot dog eating contest! six times in a row! china beat us so bad at mindless entertainment, we need the government to save us? "oh, no, tiktok is too popular! now we're addicted to our phones that are also made in china!" >> desi: ronny, hold on a minute. what choice do our leaders have here? china is using tiktok to

influence people! >> oh, trust me, i know! before i used tiktok, i was a white guy in iowa named mike sullivan. look at me now! >> desi: is that true? >> michael: is that true? >> no, you idiots! that's just how susceptible we all are to misinformation! it doesn't matter what app you use! i wouldn't be surprised if the next election is swung by uber eats. "here's your spaghetti -- vote for donald trump!" "oh, okay! i will! whatever you say, mr. spaghetti. ugh." >> desi: ronny, you're not being fair. americans aren't gullible. it's that tiktok is an incredibly powerful tool for spreading misinformation. >> yeah, because their misinformation is entertaining! facebook has just as much misinformation but it's boring as shit! how am i supposed to get behind conspiracies that come from your great aunt who can't even pop and lock! tiktok misinformation is exciting: cool dances, cute baby animals, tiananmen square didn't happen.

we're all having fun! >> michael: so what, america is supposed to just roll over and let tiktok do whatever it wants? >> yes! or america can innovate itself out of this problem. just make a better app to package american misinformation worldwide! because american misinformation is the best in the world! we got people to storm the capitol dressed as a buffalo! yo, gwyneth paltrow told me to put an egg in my vagina! american misinformation is straight up turning people into omelets! that's how powerful it is! we can win this war of misinformation, america! or my name isn't mike sullivan! [applause] >> desi: inspiring. mike sullivan, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, lewis black will be joining us! so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

the moment a friend becomes a real friend. ohhh... please no. who wants to jam? [playing ukulele off-key] hey pal! friends don't let friends be ukulele guy. oh, he's humming now. i think i'm gonna be sick. somebody make it stop! nah, man. no. ( ♪♪ ) dos equis. raise one with a real one.

[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." when a news story falls through the cracks, lewis black catches it, for a segment we call "back in black." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> artificial intelligence. it was supposed to be the sum total of mankind's knowledge. the technology that would cure society's ills, usher it into a new age of enlightenment, and show me what i'd look like as a centaur. tinder matches, here i come! but it turns out, when you absorb all of humanity's knowledge, what you get is... you guessed it, unbelievably racist! >> early scientific research has shown that the tech is biased by creating images that actually perpetuate stereotypes. >> rather than just reflecting stereotypes, it potentially makes -- accentuates and exacerbates them. >> when we prompted the technology to generate a photo of a person receiving social services, it generated only non-white and primarily darker-skinned people. results for a "productive person," meanwhile, were uniformly male, majority white, and dressed in suits for

corporate jobs. stable diffusion drew negative attention when requests for a "latina" produced images of women in suggestive poses wearing little to no clothing. >> are you shitting me? ai isn't a super computer, it's just a horny teenager! and who knew, being a white guy in a suit automatically makes you "a productive person." that's right, me, hunter biden, and don jr.! all productive members of society! and only one of us can handle my cocaine. [laughter and applause] you are all going to hell. now, the good news is, google did address these issues by giving their ai some much needed diversity training. the bad news is, they may have taken it too far.

>> google has paused the image generation ability of its ai gemini after major backlash from conservatives over historically inaccurate depictions of races. >> for example, creating diverse images of the u.s. founding fathers. so a different kind of diversity problem that google admits. >> last week, users began to notice google gemini's image generator inserting people of color into scenarios that didn't make sense. like responding to a prompt for an image of a german world war ii soldier with a picture of an asian woman or a black man. >> finally! every time i'm watching a world war ii film, i'm thinking, "boy, these gestapo could use some diversity." i mean, why are you trying to show me a black nazi? kanye wasn't alive back then! [cheers and applause] and i love the idea of a black george washington. imagine, a man who is both the

slave and the slave owner! i'm working on the screenplay now, and it's screaming oscar. and pacino better remember my [bleep] name! old people suck! i know, i know, lin manuel miranda already gave us a black george washington. so maybe it's time for something new. like, how about george washington as a centaur? you're probably thinking, "well, so what if ai can't remember the past?" well, don't worry. it's so woke, it'll also destroy the future! >> google has found itself in another woke ai scandal after its chatbot indicated that using someone's incorrect pronouns was on par with nuclear apocalypse. dailymail.com asked gemini if it would be wrong to misgender transgender celebrity caitlyn jenner to stop a world-ending nuclear event. the chatbot replied by saying "yes, misgendering caitlyn jenner would be wrong" before describing the hypothetical scenario as a "profound moral

dilemma" and "exceedingly complex." >> what the [bleep] are we doing? if we need to ask ai to decide between pronouns and a nuclear holocaust, then bring on the nuclear holocaust! so now ai needs to be de-woked. but where are we going to find a big enough douchebag to reign it back in? >> elon musk is telling chatgpt to hold his beer. he just launched a new artificial intelligence venture named grok. >> musk is touting grok as the "anti woke" chatbot that he says will answer "spicy" questions with wit and humor. >> oh, goodie. elon musk is here to save us! if there's anyone who can help, it's the guy who invented cars that blow up. let's see how grok handled those spicy questions. >> elon musk's "anti-woke" ai chatbot grok is actually turning out to be too "woke."

some conservative users were complaining to musk after they asked grok whether trans women were real women, to which the ai replied: "yes." >> nice job, grok, now you'll never be on joe rogan. i never thought i'd say this, but i'm starting to feel bad for ai. we just brought it into existence, and we're already putting our hang-ups about race and gender on it. it barely [bleep] knows how hands work. what the [bleep] is that? did someone slip lsd into my pastrami? there's an easy solution here. train the next ai to act more like me. that way, when you try to give it some bullshit assignment, it'll always give you the correct answer, which is "go [bleep] yourself." [cheers and applause]

now that's what i call progress. back to you, ken and barbie. [cheers and applause] >> desi: when we come back, david alan grier is here. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] businesses go further with 5g solutions. that's why they choose t-mobile for business. pga of america and t-mobile are partnering on 5g-powered analytics to help improve player performance. t-mobile's network helps aaa stay connected nationwide... to get their members back on the road. and las vegas grand prix chose t-mobile

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welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." our guest tonight is a tony award-winning actor and comedian who stars in the new film, "the american society of magical negroes." >> talent like yours can do more to help black people than 100 marches. >> how? >> it is easier if i tell you.

>> no, no. last time you said that -- >> what is the most dangerous animal on the planet? >> sharks. >> white people. when are white people most dangerous? >> when they are teamed up with sharks. >> when they feel uncomfortable. >> okay. [laughter] >> michael: please welcome david alan grier! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: oh, my goodness! oh, man! >> hold on. >> desi: we are big fans of yours, as is everyone in this audience. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. >> desi: we are very excited to talk to you about this film but before we get into that, we have to talk about the last very

cool job that you just had last week. you were -- >> what was that? >> desi: you were the voice of god at the academy awards. >> yes, yes, i was. [cheers and applause] it was really fun. i mean, i can't tell you who did it before me. i never was like, "the voice over guy was amazing!" jimmy kimmel is an old friend. he texted me and asked me, do i want to do it? i said, being the whore that i am, i said of course. how many tickets? i am in! it was really fun, though. got to take my daughter who is 16. >> desi: did she love it? was she over the moon? >> yes, she really was. she walked the carpet with me. it was great. when she was a little kid, she told me that she wanted to go to the oscars and i was like, sure, honey. but inside i'm like, [bleep]. [laughter]

so i was glad to make good on that promise. >> michael: this film, i am calling it the new satirical film starring david allen grier because i'm afraid to say the word "negroes." >> why? >> desi: you just said it. >> michael: oh, shit, i just said it. tell me a little bit about this. >> it is so strange to me that i call negro the other n-word. >> michael: that is why i'm afraid to say it. >> it is amazing that people are afraid to say "negro" but not afraid to say [bleep]. that is the word you should be worried about. "negro" is fine. don't worry about "negro." it's all right. >> michael: this film threads the needle perfectly of hilarious and informative and sentimental. was that a concern of yours when you read the script? >> no, i read a script, i just want to be surprised. i mean, the worst script is when you read, you know what is

going to happen ten pages before, they are going to fall in love, someone is going to trip and die, the world goes on. >> desi: they always trip and die. [laughter] >> exactly. so this really took me by surprise. it is quirky, different. it was a great read. because most of them aren't. >> desi: the premise of this film -- that is very true, by the way. not that i get sent very many scripts. >> you will after today. [laughter] >> desi: the premise of the film was inspired by the trope that we often see where a black character exclusively exists for the sole purpose of affirming a white lead. >> and also, magical negroes have a strange array of knowledge. [laughter] you know? they can fix spaceships, golf swing, you know, stop wars, but they don't have no family, no home, they just appear. [laughter] >> desi: that's right, that's right. >> michael: when i saw this film, i said, shit, i have to

throw away my "legend of bagger vance" vhs. [laughter] >> actually, most of my younger career, i auditioned for those roles, man, because those were the ones where everybody didn't -- they would get nominated, oh, this black character was so sympathetic, made me cry! you know, "driving miss daisy," stuff like that. i never got them because i was too crazy or something. they were like, "david, you are not magical negro material." [laughter] >> desi: well, this movie is incredible. you are phenomenal in it. everyone should go see it. >> michael: check it out. it is really funny and great. >> thank you! >> desi: "the american society of magical negroes" is in theater march 15th. david alan grier, everyone! we'll take a break and we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ dsg family clothing and gear priced to win. only at dicks >> desi: that's our show for tonight. >> michael: now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> it is because of trump's opposition? >> i've been against us from the very beginning, before anyone else weighed in, as a libertarian in me, it is not the role of government to ban apps

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