s gonna be okay. the doctor said there's a really simple treatment for a concussion, so he'll probably even be back at work tomorrow. okay. i just, uh, thought you'd wanna know that. (nurse) okay, mr. schrute. inhale with me on three. one, two... sir, stop that. stop... stop that. ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, jon stewart! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> jon: hey, everybody! welcome! hey! [cheers and applause] i look -- i got to tell you something. these folks who work at "the daily show" are making me look zaddy! sorry. welcome to "the daily show!" i'm your host, jon stewart. captain of this dying medium! [laughter and applause] a gentleman told me tonight, he said, oh, i am so happy to be here. you know, television is dying. i said, i am aware. and in fact, i am contributing to it. you are welcome. i did have such a good time last week doing the program, and then everybody at comedy central was like, what are you going to do this week?

i was like, wait, this week? i did it monday. what am i, a cyborg? come on. but i don't mind because, quite frankly, the response to the first show last monday was... universally glowing. >> jon stewart is facing massive backlash from democrats over his comments about joe biden. olbermann tweeted: "well, after nine years away, there's nothing else to say to the bothsideist fraud jon stewart bashing biden, except please make it another nine years." chris d. jackson tweeted: "sorry, but i won't be watching you either." >> jon: okay! maybe not universal. but that was on twitter! everything on twitter gets a backlash! i've seen twitter tell labradoodles to go [bleep] themselves. labradoodles. i just think it's better to deal head-on with what's an apparent issue to people. i mean, we're just talking here! >> and mary trump tweeting, "not only is stewart's "both sides are the same" rhetoric not funny, it's a potential disaster

for democracy." >> jon: it was one [bleep] show! it was 20 minutes! i did 20 minutes of one [bleep] joe! but i guess, as the famous saying goes, democracy dies in discussion. but look, i have sinned against you. i'm sorry! it was never my intention to say out loud what i saw with my eyes and then brain. i can do better. i can has good learning. i can has it. but i don't even know where to start with that. where do i go to study the particulars of unquestioning propaganda? i would need mentorship! >> we're in moscow tonight. we're here to interview the president of russia, vladimir putin. >> jon: saints be praised!

for professor tucker aloysius mayflower kennebunkport backgammon carlson iii has arrived. professor! tell me, what is step one in delivering world-class fealty to power? >> here's why we're doing it. first, because it's our job. we're in journalism. >> jon: lie about what your job is. >> we're in journalism. our duty is to inform people. >> jon: lie about what your duty is. >> americans have a right to know all they can about a war there implicated in. freedom of speech is our birthright. we were born with the right to say what we believe.

>> jon: oh, shit. kudos, sensei. that was deep. i have much to learn. disguise your deception and capitulation to power as noble and moral and based in freedom. yes, master. just out of curiosity, as a student, when you're sitting there interviewing putin, and you don't plan to challenge his utter bullshit, but you don't want that to be obvious, what do you do with your face? oh, i see. okay, so it's not so much a straight face, as much as you convey a mixture of what appears to be shame, arousal, and i'm going to say, irregularity. for instance, like you're constipated while jerking off to

a sears catalogue. been there, haven't you? guy up there is like... the laundry odds, when they were -- now obviously, tucker strategy is going to work when there is some ambiguity to what putin says but what if putin starts saying shit like "world war ii was poland's fault because they forced hitler to invade them." what do you do with that? it's going to be hard. >> after world war i, this territory was transferred to poland, and instead of danzig, a city of gdansk emerged. hitler asked them to give it amicably, but they refused. >> of course. >> jon: of course!

you know, it's so hard to do when your face says "what the [bleep]" and your mouth said "of course." it's so hard! how do you -- all right? how do you do that? by the way, poland started world war ii? why would a country whose navy has submarines with screen doors want to instigate a war? quick history lesson: years ago, for reasons nobody is really sure of, a stereotype emerged that polish people were inept in various ways, including obviously, submarine manufacturing, and even something as simple as the changing of lightbulbs. i don't know actually how many polish people you think it takes to change a lightbulb, but it's certainly less than the conventional wisdom at that time would you tell you. now we know that polish people are as smart as anyone, and certainly did not deserve to be invaded by the germans, who, of

course, accomplished that by marching in backwards, so the poles thought they were leaving. [laughter and applause] i like to give you a little bit of dumb. well, this has been an incredible primer into the delicate dance of speaking "of course" to power. tell me, tucker, does this masterclass include field trips? >> how does russia have a subway station that normal people use to get to work and home every single day that's nicer than anything in our country? there's no graffiti, there's no filth, no foul smells. >> jon: that's a [bleep] nice subway. that's a very -- although, to be fair to the new york city system, it was constructed in 1904 out

of urinal cakes, by the great engineer giuseppi piss-everywhere. but, point taken, it's pretty nice! but the subway, that's one thing! >> so we thought it would be interesting to take a look at a contemporary, modern day, 2024 russian grocery store. >> jon: ooh! go on. >> all right, here we go. so i guess you put in ten rubles here, and you get it back when you put the cart back. so it's free, but there's an incentive to return it and not just bring it to your homeless encampment. [audience reacts] >> jon: i know i've said this before, you're such a dick. [cheers and applause] really, truly. i didn't realize that america's homeless problem is caused

entirely by easy access to grocery carts. "i had all my stuff in my house, i didn't know i could put it on wheels. so much easier!" >> this is the grocery cart escalator. this is designed -- i'm figuring this out now -- where the wheels don't move. they lock on the grocery cart escalator. look, ma, no hands. >> jon: oh, okay, forest! an escalator for grocery carts! and the doors open automatically! oh, mother russia. >> now russia is famous for its bread, which is one thing i can assess pretty well. look at that. it's fresh, too. look at that. oh. come on. mm.

[laughter] >> jon: yeah, [bleep] guy really likes bread... i hate to think what would have happened if he had found a bagel. [applause] but hey, if being a free-speech warrior means you have to bang the occasional sourdough, nasdarovya. but our time is limited. could you drive home the purpose of your deception on this trip in the most cynical way possible, please? >> we didn't pay any attention to costs as we are just putting in the cart what we would actually eat over a week. and we all came in around 400 bucks, about 400 bucks. it was $104 u.s. here. and coming to a russian grocery store, the heart of evil, and

seeing what things cost and how people live, it will radicalize you against our leaders. that's how i feel, anyway. radicalized. >> jon: radicalized! it will radicalize you, unless you understand basic economics. see, $104 for groceries sounds like a great bargain, unless you realize russians earn less than $200 a week. but that's the kind of context that a -- what did you call yourself earlier? a journalist would have provided. but here's the reality, you [bleep] know all this. because you aren't as dumb as your face would have us believe. perhaps if your handlers had allowed, you would have seen there is a hidden fee to your cheap groceries and orderly streets. ask alexei navalny or any of his supporters. >> in vladimir putin's russia, political repression is everywhere and hundreds have been arrested for daring to

honor navalny so publicly. >> jon: right. because the difference between our urinal caked chaotic subways and your candelabra-ed beautiful subways is the literal price of freedom. but the goal that carlson and his ilk are pushing is there is really no difference between our systems. in fact, theirs might be a little bit better! the question is: why, why is tucker doing this? here's why. it's because the old civilizational battle was communism versus capitalism. that is what drove the world since world war ii. russia was the enemy then. but now, they think the battle is woke versus unwoke. and in that fight, putin is an ally to the right. he is their friend. unfortunately, he is also a brutal and ruthless dictator. so now they have to make americans a little more comfortable with that. i mean, liberty is nice, but have you seen russia's shopping carts?

and tucker would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling assassins. >> in a statement to "the new york times," carlson said, quote, "it is horrifying what happened to navalny. the whole thing is barbaric and awful. no decent person would defend it." >> jon: correct. no decent person would. for more -- oh, please enjoy -- [cheers and applause] for more on tucker carlson's interview with putin, we turn to michael kosta. [cheers and applause] michael, first of all, what an unbelievably embarrassing display of sycophancy from tucker carlson. >> yeah, well, i'm not sure what that means, jon, so i'm going to assume you loved it as much as i did. it made me think that these dictatorships have gotten a bad rap, which is why i've traveled here to north korea. and as you can see, it's

amazing! >> jon: it looks like you're in a candy store. >> well, i am, but this is what the entire country looks like, i'm told! it's a paradise of chocolate bars and sugar canes! i mean, jon, check this out. this bucket of gummy worms here in pyongyang, it costs a nickel. do you have any idea how much this would cost me in the so-called united states? >> jon: i don't know, maybe $20? >> yeah, and who can afford that, besides capitalist american pedophiles? okay? and just look at the technology they have here, jon. check out this amazing contraption. you put -- okay, you put a quarter in, twist it, and look! gumballs come out! death to america!

jon? >> jon: you need to come home come on michael. >> i would like to come about and fortunately, i renounce my citizenship in exchange for these gummy worms. they made them sour on the inside and on the inside, they are sweet! until america comes up with that -- how do we say goodbye in our language? >> jon: michael kosta, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, melissa murray and kate shaw will be joining me. don't go away. [cheers and applause] the ball is out and there's a pile-up. -let's go! -get in the pile! ugh, i'll deal with this tomorrow. you won't.

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[cheers and applause] >> jon: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the daily show." my guests tonight -- i love them so much. are law professors and constitutional experts -- elitists -- co-host a podcast about the supreme court called "strict scrutiny." please welcome melissa murray and kate shaw! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ hey, guys! [cheers and applause] now let me first apologize. you have a third, leah litman, who could not be her because of the delicate figuration of the guests but she is in california. i did not want to let that pass. i want to start with a simple question. john oliver has offered clarence thomas a winnebago and a million dollars a year to --

and this is his words not mine -- get the [bleep] off the supreme court. in your court watchers, you are expert on the supreme court, will he accept this offer? >> i think this is a harlan crow counter offer opportunity. to be when you believe that his benefactor is going to have to ? what do you counter with? it's a beautiful winnebago and a million dollars. is there anything else to life? >> not if you enjoy spending time in the parking lots of walmart, as justice thomas does. >> jon: he says he does but apparently, he likes to quail hunt in a robe. i want to ask you, there is a strategy that is starting to bubble up, which is, getting americans comfortable with authoritarianism and getting us to not think critically about the differences between a free society and not a free society. and in that regard, they are starting to paint trump as navalny, that the trials that he is facing in america are similar or the same as what putin did to

navalny. please explain to me why that is horse shit. >> well, we are not experts in russian criminal procedure, but i think it is safe to say that donald trump is likely receiving more procedural protections right now and the four criminal indictments that he is currently subject to then alexei navalny had in his time in russia. so i think this is not the same situation. >> jon: would you say that donald trump is actually received duer process than most people in america? this guy is clearly on the platinum due process plan. like -- speak with a harlan crow due process plan. >> jon: he is getting -- >> the navalny of processes. >> jon: how is this comparable? >> it's not at all comparable. it is interesting that trump is invoking navalny. it is right to draw comparisons right now but of course, the casting is all wrong.

right now, the argument is that trump is making it some of the pending criminal cases against him, he is eventually casting himself as above and beyond they seeing -- >> jon: i don't think presidents should have complete and total immunity because if you can't kill people, then what fun? >> this is a hypothetical that came up with a lower federal court argument in this immunity case. trump's lawyer was asked and when you saying that a president could order seal team six to assassinate a political rival and a criminal law couldn't get him for that? >> sounds familiar. >> trump's lawyer basically said come on as he's been impeached and convicted first, the criminal law -- >> jon: by the senate and the criminal process. our criminal laws are suspended if you are the president. didn't we fight a war about that? >> we not only fought a war but our whole constitutional structure is designed to prevent consolidations of power. >> jon: checks and balances. [cheers and applause]

>> you get an a in our constitutional law classes, jon. >> what kate is describing is essentially very authoritarian forward. the person that donald trump is is not alexei navalny. it is vladimir putin. >> jon: nuts and he wants to be. that is who we admires. >> in our judicial system's defense come in my mind, over the last three years, it was onf the few institutions in america that actually held pretty strong, and you are frowning at me. you disagree with this. >> well come on our podcast, we take different roles. kate is i think much more amenable to your position. i think i think -- >> jon: hold on one second. >> like, there is something to this. >> i do think there is a way in which courts really did stand as a bulwark against some of trump's worst instincts and impulses while he was in office and even since. 60 plus lawsuits filed around the 2020 election, all unsuccessful. he argued for different versions of immunity in civil and

criminal cases previously. those have been unsuccessful essentially throughout. but we are in a real test moment of that proposition in that the supreme court is right now facing this question of whether he will ever stand trial for the january 6th events sixth events. just be what they grant him blanket immunity, we don't have a republic anymore. we don't have a constitutional republic if the head of it has immunity. the thing i liked about with the court did is they set a standard of evidence. anybody can say whatever they want on basic cable show, or wherever they go or at a rally or anything else but when you bring it into a court, as giuliani famously said, no, we don't have any evidence but we got lots of theories, and they threw them out. >> okay. so that just suggests that the bar is in hell. right? [laughter] >> yes, of course the courts are a bulwark against the most totalitarian impulses in our society but we forget that the court system that we have come this game court we have come of the debates we are having about

the supreme court, are all right now the product of what donald trump did. this is a person who was not elected by the popular vote -- >> jon: you are saying these questions would have been utterly unimaginable. >> we are debating whether or not in the next presidential term we are going to see a national ban on abortion. we would not be having a discussion of donald trump's 63 conservative super majority had not roll back roe vs. wade. >> jon: or the immunity discussion or any of this. >> he has created the conditions for the way we talk about this court. >> jon: and that is the thing that ultimately is at stake in all of this. i want to thank you guys so much for coming on. you are fabulous. check out their podcast, please. "strict scrutiny." new episodes drop on mondays. a fine day to drop them. melissa murray and kate shaw! we'll be right back after this. we'll be right back after this. [cheers

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line of limited-edition joe biden [bleep]-me pumps. [laughter and cheering] >> jon: i got to tell you, i think he's going to look incredible in those. very nice. thank you so much. here it is. here is your "moment of zen." >> because i honestly thought he was going to be aggressive and ask these so-called tough questions. so frankly, i did not fully enjoy the interview. >> sorry. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪