to desoy thetigma abougay. do y recall? sexual transtted disease. ha ge - wh? - rpes dlex. - it's probay just an i, but we have be exhaustive. - i' already contaed all my exovers, exce for y. we wernever vers. - i'm nna needers, exce for y. a st of ery mayou've eve. i'm talking train statns, - fence with a hole int. fthrough central pa.rrge rd - e wood behi the luor ste, thswamp behi the old folks' home. - electric car dealershi - thdemocratic primary. - oscar, think a-- [door slams] think. ♪ ♪ >>nnounc: from th most trted jonalistat it's america's only source f news. this is daily sw" with your host, jon stewart! [cheers and applause] ♪

heers and alause] >>on: he [ches and plause] jon: hey, everyone! welce to "the day show!" we've got one for you tonight. unbelievable. i'll be speaking t khan!ead of the ftc, lina khan. it's goingoe unbelievable. but first, as many of you are aware, the news has beepretty bleak recently. the past two, three... hundred years. listen, but th weekend, there was one story that was so disturbing, so dark,

even the news couldn handle it. >> in r editial discussio this morng, weere asd not videbecausof its violentnds disturbi natur >>ideo, ich we are intentionally choosing not to show you. >> we're not going to show because of how dturbinit is. i was extrely dturbedo see th. >> horrible, horrible, violent imagery. imagery.nt and dehumanizing >> we're only going to show you a clip of this briefly. >> a right thas enou, let's take it down. >> jon: i didn't get to see it at all! news channels show images from. ukraine, from gaza, from natural disasters. they get through them dispassionately. i can imagi how devastating this footage must be. >> fmer prident nald tmp shared a videothis one, on h uth soal accnt fturing imagef presint joeiden hogtd on t back a picp truck.

[audience reacts] [laughter] >> jon: that -- that's what was so disturbing and dehumanizing that you wouldn't show it on television? an air-brushed biden decal on the ba of a truck? aren't you the same networks that show reruns of/11 every year? i me, i don't think it's great that tmp is posting things like this, but it's not like people really think joe biden was tied uin the back of that truck. >> is a doored image but it plastered on the tailga of the pickup truck, sof you're driving behind it, it woulappear as if j biden were actuallrestrained on the vehicle's flatd. [laughter]

>> jon: ifou think that's really joe biden tied up o the ck of the pickup truck, i don't know that you have the mental acuity to beperating a but ifou do think that, i should probably also explain to you that trucks also don't actually have testicles. it's just a novelty item. [applause] it's nots though when an f-150 and a silverado love each other very much, they [bleep]nd get one of these. [laughter] what is going on? now there is technologout in the world that really does blur the line between reality a tailgatert. but those are mostl ai-generated. your fake joe den robocall that tls new hampshire voters

not to vote. your chicago mayoral candida your donald trump dropping by the neighborhood for a sop hang. look how comfortable he seems. and as agets better and better, it's only going to make it more fficult to separate fact from fiction, which could be terrifying. luckily, the people in charge of ai have told us that just like with the internet and social med, it's actually going to make everything much better! >> this has the potential to make life much better. i ink it's hontly a y-up. >> i hate to sound like a utopic tech bro here, but the increase inualityf life that ai can deliver is extraordinary. >> ai is the most profound technology humanity is working on, more profound than fire or electricity. >> jon: yeah!

su a [bleep], fire! that's right,ou heard me! you heard me, fire! [applause] oh, i'm sorry, do i need to turn that up? suck a [bleep] [bleep]fire! ohwhat are you giggling at, electricit on the other side, i'm sure ai is good, but fire good? how so? >>hey cahelp us solve very hard scientific problems that humans are not capable of solving themselves. >> addressing climate change will not be particularly difficult for system like that. >> the potential for ai to help scientists cure, prevent, and manage all diseases in this century. >> jon: i completely trust you and your enormously wide eyes and very human cadence.

but benefit of the doubt, ts can cure diseases and solve climate change? what are we using it for now? jarvis knows when to make me breakfast. >> your toast is ready. >> all right. >> jon: are you out of your [bleep] mind? see, here's the thing, toast, i can make. i can make toast. it mig be the only technology we have that works prettmuch every time. i'll tell you at, why don't you get to work on curing the diseases and the climate change, and we'll hold down the fort on toast. [cheers and applause] of course, we have, as a society, we have beethrough technological advances befor and they all promise a utopian

life without ddgery, and the reality is, they com for our jobs. so want your assurance that ai isn't remong the human from the loop. this is not about rlacing the human in the loop. in fact, it's about empowering the human. >> it's an assistant? >> it's an assistant. >> jon: what are all getting assistants? it's an assistant! ai works for you night and day, tirelessly, and all you have to do is remember their birthday! that's all you h to do! but i get it, it's an assistant. it's about productivity, and th's good for all of us, yes? although, they do let the al truth slip out every now and again. >> there will be overall displament in the lar market. >> you can g the same work done with fewer people. that's just the nature of productivity. sound good.t -- that doesn't

"same work done with fewer people..." not a math guy, but i think fewer means less, yes? so ai can cureiseases and solve climate change, but that's not exactly wh companies are going to be using it for, are they? >> so this is like productivity without the tax of more people. >> jon: without e tax of more people? ah, the peopleax. formerly referred to as "employees." but you know, the promise of ai versus the reality of ai, it's not quite crystal ear in my mind yet how that will work out for workers. do youave anyone who wants to lay this out more bluntly? perhapwhile auditioning to be a bond villain from hi mountaintop lair? >> left completely to their own devices and the market, these are fundamtally labor-replacing tools. >> jon: did that guy just call

us tools? but he's actually warning us! is there anyone who might say the same thing as this fella but lks at losing employees as a featuref aind not bug? >>he ceo of a coany that support staff after arguing at ai ikinda e reas. >> whyid youo this? iteemed little brutal. >> it's not. i think, like, is brut if you think, le, as a human. >> jon: "ai: it's brutal if you think, like,s a human." it's not the catchie ad slogan i've ever heard. so while we wait for this thing toure our diseases and solve clime change, it's replacing us in the rkforce.

not in the future, butight now. so what exactly are we suppod to be doing for work? >> i think we'll need new types of jobs to help us embed ai and maintain ai in the workplace. >> prompt engineers. they're basically people who learn how to use ai systems and, in effect, how to program them. >> who wld'vehought that there will be prompt engineer? >> jon: right. prompt engineer! i think you me "types question guy." and by the way, if there's any job that can be easily replaced by ai, it's types queion guy. this is some shit. you got going here. ai models have hoovered up the entire sum of the human accomplished over thousands of years and now we just hand it f to be their prompt engiers? and by the way, you're not fooling anyone by adding the word "gineer." u're not the "types question guy,"ou're the "vice

presidt of question input!" it's true. it is like a janitor is in "doctor of moing." this whole ai thing is aait and switch! you're acting like you're helping us. assistant!'s supposed to be my now i'm making ai [bleep] toast! i'm jarvis! but guess what! [cheers and applause no, you listen to me! [cheers and applause] i got news for you, ai. i'm not siri, you're siri! siri, while i have your atteion, let me ask you a >> sure, jon, but first, could yorun and fetch me some lithium cadmium? >> jon: ah, sure --

[bleep]! i didn't want toave to do this, aibut it's pretty clear with a technology this powerful, like nuclear pow and atomic weapons, i'm going to have to ple a little call to my good pals in the united stas government. perhaps even the house of representatives the senate and they are about to open up a n of has ai n?" do?do u understand what ai understandg. elemeary >> got a lot to learn about at's going on. >>ery frkly, is new terrain and unartered territor >> do we have the knowlee set here to do it? no >>he short awer is no. the long answe is hell no. [laughter and applause] >> jon: "and the longest answer is ho the e to the l-l to the no! hell, i don't know how to use an answering machine!"

[giggles]oo. look, i'not against progress. but let's look to our history to see how wve dealt with previous economic disruptions. one generati and create jobs r the next >> retra worke who do lose their jobs or even better jobs in the future. >> retrained inrder to be producve workers. workers of a ages. to help >> train and retrain workers for >>ive me a break into aurnaceanearn h to progm, for god sakes. [laughter] >> jon: and i will fight every one of you jack-holes who says differt! but th's the game! whether it's globalization or instrialization or now

artificial intelligence, the way of life that you are acctomed to is no match for the promise of more prits and new markets. which soundsrutal, if you're a human. but at least those other disruptions took place over a century or decades. ai is going toe ready to take over by thursday. and once that happens, wh the [bleep] is there left for the rest of us to do? >> time is not a terrible thing. >> ai freeing us up to think about things at a higher level is going to help. it's going to, you know, give us >> we'll be able to express ourselves in new creative ways. >> jon: you know, he's right. i've been thinking about this all right. it's not joblessness, it self actualizg me. it'll give me more time toe. explore my passion i'm an aging suburbadad, i'll learn to play the drums!

you know, mic -- ta, ta, tee tee, ta. music is what makes us human! ♪ when we come back, lina khan will be joining me on the ow, don't go away. [cheer and alause]

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[cheers d applause] >> jon: welcome back to "the dai show. my guest tonight runs onof the responsible for enfcing antrust in america and protecting consumers. please welcome the program federal trade commission chair,

lina khan! [cheers anapplause] ♪ ♪ hello! >> hi! >> jon: lovely to see you. you run the federal trade commission. >> that's right. >> jon: the whole shebang. and you are in charge of it is protecting americans from monopolistic company practices, but also dealing with pricing anthings like that, protecting consumers. >> that's right. the short of it is, we want to make sure that the american public is not getting bullied or coerced in the marketplace or tricked. so we enforce the nation's antitrust and consumer protection laws. [applause] >> jon: please! [cheers and applause] i just want to make that clear right away. you are not buoyed or tricked into applauding, no? don't want to be accused of

monopolistic. how much pressure do these companies exert on the federal trade commission? fight whatever regulation youhey are trying to put into place to keep them from becoming monopolies or from these types of business practices? >> well, look, monopolies are not fans of enforcing the antimonopoly laws. and so that type of pushback is baked in. but we have a fantastic team. we are a small agenc but we are mighty and we played our strengths, being entrepreneurial, being strategic, and getting real wins for the american people. >> jon: what are the companies -- so these are separate things. monopolies, the way i viewed it, oh, that is only one company. don't we have all of appellees in the country? aren't there companies, the entertainment industry is controlled by six companies. is that considered not a monopoly but a problem? >> look, we have really focused

on how our companies behaving? are they behaving in ways that suggest they can harm their customers, harm their suppliers, harm their workers come and get away with it? and that type of too big to care type of approach really what signals that a company has monopoly power, because they can start mistreating you, but they know you are stuck. >> jon: and what will be the metrics of that? how would you judge that? i know that you have sued amazon. >> that's right. >> jon: and that is for those practices. [cheers and applause] >> so our lawsu does allege that amazon is a monopoly, that they hate maintain that monopoly through illegal practices. there are a variety of ways that you can show a company as a monopoly and has monopoly power. one is, you can try to figure out what is the exact boundary of the market, what is the market share. but again, the most direct way is to look at how is the company behaving? and as we lay out in our

complaint, amazon is now able to get aw with harming its customers. so just to give you a few examples come over the last few years, they have litter their search results page with junk ads. ads that internally executives realize are irrelevant and unhelpful to consumers, but they can just do it and it nets them billions of dollars in money. or they have also been steadily hiking the fees that small businesses have to pay to sell through amazon, and so now some small businesses have to pay one out of every $2 to amazon. it's basically a 50% monopoly tax. >> jon: wow. >> those are just some of the behaviors that we .2 to note that this company has monopoly power. >> jon: is there anything in the company's leader that also suests that? for instance, if you were to go from being sort of a nerdy dude who sold books out of a garage, into, let's say, a jacked lex luthor type, does that also

suggest either monopolistic practices or some type of injections? >> you know, we have and try to make those arguments in court. but it would be interesting to see how a judge would respond. >> jon: i think quite favorably. >> [laughs] >> jon: how ny lawyers -- for instance, what are you up against? you've got government lawyers, i am assuming you've got a pretty good cadre. let's say you are going against amazon. how many lawyers today have? >> if they have monopoly money, they can buy as many lawyers as they want. the ftc is around 1200 employees. but when we are going up against some of these monopolistic companies, they can out match has come out on us, sometimes 1-10, just if you are looking at lawyers, if you are adding paralegals and support -- >> jon: you are looking at lawyers, they outnumber you 10:1? >> sometimes they do. we have lawsuits against how much of the cpanies and just in terms of sheer resources that

they can pour into the litigation, we are pretty outgunned. but not outmatched, right? this is where it comes to playing to your strengths, being entrepreneurial -- >> jon: this is not about getting a fine. this is not about going after amazon and saying -- because this is what the sec does. the sec, i think, is overmatched as a government agency. you don't have to comment on that but just nod your head. utterly overmatched. so they go after groups and then they can't really prove it in court so they are like, how about this? you give us a cut of your profit and we will all be done here. how do you handle that with amazon? it's not just about a fine. >> that's right. i think we've seen over the last couple of decades, we have seen how businesses can treat fines just as a cost of doing business. >> jon: right. >> we need to make sure that we are actually deterring illegal behavior, and so that can mean naming individual executives. we in our -- >> jon: oh, snap! you just did not go there! [cheers and applause] i like that!

so have you had success with this? >> we have had success with this. i mean, we had a lawsuit against martin shkreli a couple of years ago. >> jon: all of a sudden turned into a pro wrestling match here. and he went to jail? do you have to refer things to the doj or do you have an enforcement arm? >> you are right. we don't have criminal authority. but the remedy we were able to get against him was to effectively ban him from doing business in the pharmaceutical industry. [cheers and applause] >> jonnow i imagine the practice that he did in the pharmaceutical industry, which was taking a life-saving drug and jacking the price up i don't know how many thousands of rcent -- he did something crazy, right? how do you keep that as a normal practice of the pharmaceutical dustry? i mean, are they colluding as a group to keep prices high? why are we having so much

trouble with them and prescription drug prices? >> look, there are a whole set of reasons why, for too many americans, drugs are unaffordable. i mean, i hear weekly, monthly about american families who are having t ration life-saving drugs. >> jon: absolutely. and shortages of those drugs. >> shortages of those drugs. there can be all sorts of tricks and tricks and the law monopolistic behavior that is leading to that. just to give you one example, inhalers, they've been around for decade but they still cost hundreds of dollars. so our staff took a close look and we realized that some of the patents that had been listed for these inhalers were improper. they were bogus. and so we sent hundreds of warning letters around these patents and in the last few weeks, we have seen companies delist these patents and three out of the four major manufacturers have now said, within a couple of months, they are going to cap how much americans pay to just $35

[cheers and applause] >> jon: so is their game, like -- see you being entrepreneurial, is their game, we are going to see how fare can push this and get away with this and do these different things in the hopes that we don't run up against an entrepreneurial or crafty ftc? are they waiting you out? >> look, it is possible. but that is why you need to think about tactics that are going to be around deterrence, so one big area of focus for us is, understanding, what is the root cause of these problems? let's understand, who is the mafia boss here? rather than just going after the foot soldiers. >> jon: right. i think there is probably a biblical sin in there that is probably the root cause of the whole thing. but i want to talk about the tech companies. because they are the new oligarchs, it would seem. they are the companies that -- and you see this especially in europe, where they are find considerable amounts of money for monopolistic practices or apple just had to pay an

enormous vine, microsoft has always been found guilty of certain monopolistic practices when it comes along. how do you handle enforcement for these new, incredibly consolidated, and enormous oligarchies? >> so we have a lawsuit against amazon. we have another one against facebook. >> jon: what is the one against facebook? >> so that one was filed before i arrived at the agency but basically it alleges that facebook, what i was watching the transition from desktop to mobile, it realized it really couldn't survive in mobile. and so it ended up buying out instagram and whatsapp in the lawsuit alleges that those acquisitions were anticompetitive. that they violated the antitrust laws. instead of competing organically, facebook instead bought its way to maintaining its monopoly. >> jon: why is that considered monopolistic? wouldn't they say, that is a sign of our success? we are so successful, we have extra money and with that extra money can we make bets on

certain companies and we turn those into successes? >> one key tenant of the antimonopoly laws is that you can't go out and buy one of your biggest competitors. >> jon: you are not allowed to do that? >> you are not allowed to do that, in fact. >> jon: can i tell you something crazy? i had put in an offer for lt "last week tonight." i had come out -- [applause] i will tell you something, and because it is john oliver, i offered to him in doubloons, is that is what british people use? obviously didn't take it. you have to make the decision of whether or not they are cornering the market. they used to call it cornering but couldn't you say, le, apple, microsoft, they are kind marks?king together to corner no? >> so look, we are investigating to understand why there are some of the investments and

partnerships that they are entering into right now in the ai space may, in fact, but not be giving them undue influence or giving them special privileges, if we get any hints that there is actual collusion happening in the marketplace, we take that extraordinarily seriously and won't hesitate to take action. one trend that we are especially concerned about is the way that algorithms may be facilitating price-fixing. and so if you have a whole bunch of competitors in a market, be it hotels, be at casinos, and they all decide they are going to outsource their pricing decision to the same algorithm, they may in effect to be fixing their prices even if they are not, you know, getting in th back room and making secret deals. >> jon: that would be like if the hotel says, you can get us on expedia or you can get us on kayak or -- but all of those companies are using the same algorithm? would that mean that it flattens those prices and you are not getting the competitive advantage that you might get

from those 10-15 apps that are searching for the cheapest hotel rooms? is that the idea? >> that's right. you may collectively see inflated prices because all of these companies are using the same algorithm, they are inputting the same data, and that algorithm is, and effect, allowing them to collectively raise their prices, so americs are having to pay more. >> jon: it's not just paying more. if you look at a company like walmart, where you say, they came into areas and they dominated all the competion. they didn't buy up the mom-and-pop shots because they had access to cheap labor and overseas goods and those types of things, they could undersell them and put them all out of business. might not raise their prices but boy, could they. and boy, could they exert their influence on supply chains and boy, could they depress wages and make sure that people, even if they are working long hours, still have to have social assistance. it is not something that you could go after? >> look, monopolies harm americans and whole bunch of ways.

u are absolutely right, that it's not just higher prices. >> jon: yes. >> it can be lower wag, it can be suppliers getting muscled out of the market or seeing their own payments dropped. it can also be shortages. i mean, we've seen over the last few years -- >> jon: sure, baby formula! >> baby formula, iv bags -- >> jon: adderall. >> adderall. basic forms -- [laughter and applause] >> jon: i see the audience has no use for baby formula. [laughter] bu has an interesting predilection. what do you do in that instance? >> so look, we want to understand, are there dominant players here that are using their muscle to coerce in ways that is contributing to shortages? we have also seen historically, when you concentrate production, that concentrates risk. and so a single disaster, a single contamination from a single shock can leave the entire supply to be wiped out.

i mean, the short of it is, don't put all your eggs in one basket. >> jon: and then you guys are the ones that have two separate the eggs. it is curious to me that the government would not have other methods of working with these corporations to ask them to curb their excesses in exchange for what they get, which is the stability of the american system. >> so look, we have a whole bunch of policies and laws in place that are actually designed to ensure our markets are more competitive and not subject to these -- >> jon: without killing innovation. >> exactly. >> jon: that ithe balance. >> 40 years ago, under president reagan, we radically veered off course and undertook a much more hands-off approach, and now we are living with the consequences of those decisions. >> jon: industry more consolidated today? i mean, my god would tell me, it is more consolidated. you have larger companies that swallow up in the pursuit of growth, swallow up and

consolidate, it feels that way to me. do you have the metrics that suggest that that is actually the case? >> on the hole, yes. you always want to do a market by market analysis, if you look at airlines, if you look at telecom, if you look at meat-packers, if you look at huge part of our economy across the board, you have seen huge waves of mergers -- >> jon: less competitive -- >> you go from dozens of companies to a very small number. and again, that hurts americans and american communities in all sorts of ways and even leads to, for example, planes falling apart in the sky. >> jon: wait, what? pplause] i always thought that was just -- i always thought that was dei. are you telling me -- this gets us to our final point. so now they are saying, this new algorithm, this new kind of machine learning model called

ai, that is going to transform every aspect of american life and the american economy. it is already being consolidated. apple has bought 30 ai models. microsoft has bought, google has bought, they all buy ai start-ups and put them behi their pay wall. an they are already having an arms race to see who will be either the monopoly or this will be a oligopoly. i got to tell you, i wanted to have you on a podcast, and apple asked us not to do it, to have you. they literally said, please don't talk to her. having nothing to do with what you do for a living. i think they just -- [laughter] i didn't think they cared for you is what happened. they wouldn't -- they wouldn't let us do even that dumb thing we just did in the first act on ai. like, what is that sensitivity?

why are they so afraid to even have these conversations out of the public sphere? >> i just think it shows one of the dangers of what happens when you concentrate so much power and so much decision-making in a small number of companies. i mean, going back all the way to the founding, there was a recognition that in the same way that you need the constitution to create checks and balances in our political sphere, you also needed the antitrust and antimonopoly laws to safeguard against concentration of economic power, because you don't want an autocrat of trade in the same way that you don't want a monarch. >> jon: but then i took them -- i mean, it wasn't until the sherman act in 1890 something? [applause] when did ty -- when did they first decide? those are the beginning of industrialization when they finally decided, we should probably put a halt to this? >> we initially had the state level laws but the first federal antitrust law was the 1890s sherman act, and it was absolutely a response to the industrial revolution and a lot of the power that that had

concentrated. >> jon: can we hold on for one second? can you take the camera real quick? i want to take a single real quick, if i can. let me take this. [bleep] nailed that sherman thing, didn't i? [cheers and applause] came out of nowhere. i think i might have learned that in, like, ninth grade. stuck. has not been updated since 1890? >> so we had some follow-up laws in 1914. another follow-on in the 1950s. and then since then, it's been a bit more sparse. so for the most part, our lawsuits are still based on those laws, going back a century. >> jon: what would you posit, what would you put forth to control this new ai technology that is looming? i'm not talking about censorship. i'm not talking about government deciding, you can't say that, you can't print that. i'm talking in terms of business

practices, these few compani ntrolling the entire mechanism. >> the first thing we need to do is be clear i did that there is no ai exemption from the laws on the books. we see sometimes, businesses try to dazzle enforcers by saying, oh, these technologies are so new, they are so different. let's just take a hands-off approach. that is basically what ended up happening with web 2.0 and now we are reeling from the consequences. and so we need to make sure -- >> jon: 2.0 is? >> the rise of social media, in the early 2000s, the initial set of companies that ended up innovating, but ultimately becoming monopolistic, ultimately adopting business models that are premised on endlessly surveilling people, and so -- >> jon: and hoover ring up data and creating algorithms that are clearly harmful, not just her children, but to political discourse, and it is pretty wild how they are able to do it. every now and again, they get

called in front of congress, and mark zuckerberg, doe eyed, goes... uh, like and subscribe. are you optimistic that we will be able to catch up to this in time before something truly catastrophic happens through ai? >> look, there is no inevitable outcome here outcome here. >> jon: right. >> we are the decision-makers so we need to use the policy tools on leverage that we have to make sure that these technologies are proceeding on a trajectory that benefit americans and we are not subjected to all of the risks and harms. >> jon: right. boy, would you stay forever? because it is incredible what you do. thank you so much. ftc chair lina khan. we're goa take a quick break but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and appuse] ♪ ♪

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the nati's larst d mostffective association atheis and stics rking to keep state and church separate, just like our founders intended. please joithe freedom from religion foundation today. ron reagan, lifelong atheist, not afraid of burning inell. nation tasteest dermined america's favorite bonele wings applebee's won. how abouthat? we do't even have wing iour na.

get th now for just 50 cents. only at applebee's. [cheers and applae] j: at o sw r tonight! t before we golet's check in withour host for t rest of this week, desi lydic! desi! [cheers and applause] desi, what are you excited about? >> well, i don't mean to brag, jon, but i've got a perfect

ncaa bracket. women's and men's. >> jon: perfect. >> perfect. >> jon: perfect. that's incredible. how is that even possible? >> here's the key strategy i've honed over many seasons, you see, i fill out the bracket after the games are played. that way, i know who wins. >> jon: and what will you be doing on the show this week? >> well, jon, i mean, that's impossible to say, until after the shows have happened. see, it's a strategy works across the board. >> jon: i can't wait to watch. desi lydic, everyone! [cheers and applause] here it is. your "moment of zen." >> god bless you all. enjoy the day. i am comingown to do the ster e rol in just a nute. thank you, all, vy,ery much! d by t way, say hlo to all the bunnies! come up here so they n see you! co on, get in re! prty big bunny, huh?

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪'m goi down southark, gonna have mysf a time ♪ ♪ fridly fas everywhere ♪ humble folks without tetation ♪ ♪ goin' dn to sth par gonna leave my woebehind ♪ ♪ peo♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i c't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! ph rmhmhm rm! ♪ come down southark and me some friends of mine ♪ camilltried e new scent of gn relax flings and ithanged everythg. (♪) hey da, n't knock it 'til you smell it. new gain relax flis.

♪ mr. president, the russians are scrambling bombers to attack denmark. nato wants to know w we intend to stop them. mr. president. mr. esident, you can't just sit tre with your stank face. i-i-i can't? the troll trace website is set to go online in less than 15 minutes! thworld is in complete chaos! sir! someone is leading a coordinated cyber strike

on the troll tra website. could be rsian. we don't know. whoer this troll is, he's pretty [bleep] hard-core, sir. [ music by boston playing ] okay, okay. token. ton, are you there? i'here. what's this about, kyle? i can't tell you, dude. i just need your hel please, my life depends on it. okay, okay, sure. all right, i need youo tell me the worst thing i can say on a united negro college fund website to piss off black people. wh? token, please! thers no time to explain! that helps. thank you! [ ep ] tweak, craig, i ed you to get on the gladwebsite and respond to a the horrible shit i just said about gay people. why'd you day rrible shit about gay people? it's not important. just get on and respond. [ ringing ] hang on. an, finally! dude, i need everybody online, now! you've got to go out and get everybody. ll them to get on their computers. go! okay! [ beeps ] jimmy, what's thworst possible thing we can sayn a website for handicapped syrian refugees? w-w-waddle back to syria desert-tard?

[ doorknob rattling and pounding on door ] sheila: you boys better not be on that computer! i'll make you pay for this! you locked your mother in the pantry?! i'll lock you in your rooms forever! ♪ never gonna give, nevegonna give ♪ ♪ givyou up ♪ ner gon give, never gonna give ♪ ♪ give you up ♪e've known each oth-- [ static ] skank? dildo? skankhunt, can you hear me? yes! yes, wre are you? the troll locked us in the control room with his danish workers. how lo before the website goes online? less than 10 minutes. oh, go skankhunt, e troll trace servers monitor and catalogue outrage. there's a troll out there ying to overload them by genering tons of hate. skank, whoev's doing it is doing it from your account. my account? yeah, he's pissing off a lot of people. that's my boy!

the core energy is completely stable and very easy to produce. it's the most massive energy soue of its size we've ever seen. we've done it, elon. with this typef energy, we can easily get mankind to mars. this is amazing! and 's all thanks to you, little girl. how did you get to b so smart? i just..ave a boyfriend who really supports me. well, come on. i want to know everything about you. conniving... snakes in the grass. all of them. yep. we have to tell someone the truth, butters. are you sure about what's going to happen on mars? it's all been leading up to this. we've just been too blind to see it before. hey, you guys need anything? water? soda? maybe just a moment alone... to talk. s-sure. about what? the end of our species. all right, who else we got now? kevin, are you there? kenny? yeah, i-i typed in everhing you told me to. mrph rmhm rm! mrph rmphm? kyle i'm gonna lp, too! no, ike! so far, thonly thing you've done has been from dad's accnt.

i need you to stay clean. no trolling, okay? you can just help me with what i should s. hello? can you hear me? this is dildo shwaggins. who are you? i'm a colleague of your father's. we see what you're trying to do, and we're gonna help. we trolled with your father. now we will troll with you. uh, okay. son, you need to kw that your father is very proud of you. he was the best he believes you can be, too. what the hell is trevor's axiom? trevor's axiom is a well-known equation in online trolling. it's a way in which one person look -- person "a" trolls person "b." but it's not about person "b." the troll is trying to push buttons to try and get a reaction from hundreds, eventually creating person "c," who'overreaction and self-righteousness will elicit a reaction from psons "d" through "f," who weren't trolls but can't help rip on person "c." their reactions lead to traged persons "g" through "n," and it keeps going, generating massive energy. it's like the fission reaction that leads to a fusion explosion,

all bringing out the worst in humanity. huh. that sort of sods like how i got elected. ecisely, mr. president. and if this kind of overreaction can bemplified through the pentagon's servers... it could blow out the internet before troll trace ever does substantial damage. gentlemen, get me contact with that troll. listen, there isn't much time. this wle tng has to be stopped. we can't go to mars. you keep saying that, but not why. because eric knows the future. what are you talkingbout? i've had visions of mars for the past few months. i'm a visionary. that's w i came here, why i brought her. but the visis weren't complete until recently. ♪♪ i know what happens on mars. at first, you'll be super-happy, bouncing around the red sand. cool! everne wilbe ally nice. hi! hi! hi

cartma you'll think the rer cs and roller coasters are rely cool. but th you'l realize sothing -- the other colonists all seem to be women. hmm. let's see. anthen you'll start to wonder, "where are all the guys?" whispering ] look underground. and soon you'll realize there's areas you didn't understand the purpose for. what is this place? and that's when you'll learn the truth. men have been forced underground, deemed useless by women. they are mined for the only things women still need us for -- our sen and our jokes. [ bell dings ] what? no, no you're just as funny as us. you don't needo do this! no! no, no! write jokes! no. [ whimpers ] no

and you'll be trapped down there forever, in the cum and joke minesof. that's -- that's riculous. why would women need us to dthat? they're just as funny as men. if there's even a little part of you that doesn't really believe that, then think about what else has to be going on. what? what? [ whispering ] you have to help us st this. [ beeping ] [ buzzes ] [ beeping ] [ buzzes ] ah! god damn it! yeah, i'm here. the servers are starting to heat up, but the danish say there are breakers that will never let them overload. you got to climb up the building and shut off those breakers. i can't go anywhere.'m locked in the conference room. oh, the key code tothe conf. yeah. that's it. 9. oh, for [bleep] sake! [ beeps ]

sheila: kyle! you better run if i get out of here! you better pray that i -- ah! [ grunting ] [ yelling ] [ panting ] [ yells ] slapperman: skank. skankhunt, are you there yet? yeah, i'm up with all the servers. the first breaker should be there. tell him to look for a large red lever. skank, do you see a large red lever? yeah, i got it! flip it off. [ alarm blaring ] that's good. ke goingskankhunt. you are all dumbass [bleep]wads. lick my asshole, you mexican bitch. ike! aah! you dare lock me in t pantry

so you can play on your couter?! mommy! you're gonna pay r what you've done! aah! graah!! kyle! ike! shit! mommy got out! [ panting ] yo you helped make your broth this way! mom, there's been a mistak ike isn't the school troll. shut up! not another word fromither of you. you're bh grounded from the compute..forever! mom, pleas you got to lten to me. ike is innocent. do you think i'm stupid?! no, mom, you just don't know everything. you both march out of here right now! i'm sorry, mom. i'm just trying to protect my family. a nationalaste tt deteined america's favorite bonelessings, applebee's won. how abt that?

don't even have ng in r name t themow for just 50 cents. only at plebe's. i'll be honest. byhe end of the day, my floors...yeesh. but who has the ti to clean? that's why i love my swiffer wetjet. it's a quick and easy way to get my floo clean. wetjet absorbs and cks grime deepnside. look at that! swiffer wetjet. norman, bad news... i never graduated from med school. what? but the good news is... xfinity mobile just got even better! now, you can automatically connect to wifi speeds up to a gig on the go. plus, buy one unlimited line and get one free for a year. i gotta get this deal... that's like $20 a month per unlimited line... i don't want to miss that. that's amazing doc. mobile savings are calling. visit xfinitymobile.com to learn more. doc?

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