♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> michael: yes! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much news to cover tonight. americans google their symptoms, trump throws an abortion policy reveal party, and student debt must have some bad tweets, because it just got canceled!

so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with yesterday's solar eclipse, when people across the continent came together to have their wallets stolen while they were distracted by space. hopefully everyone wore the correct safety glasses, so they didn't catch covid from the sun. but even if you did wear them, you still might have had a solar hangover. >> google trends report shows some of the eclipse watchers may not have been using proper eye protection. the company says it saw a spike in searches of "my eyes hurt" following the solar eclipse on monday. >> michael: "my eyes hurt?" that's not even a question. that just sounds like people were complaining to their computer. "my eyes hurt, google!" get some friends, losers. by the way, i hate that google uses our searches to monitor trends. that's why you got to throw up some fake searches every day.

like, i'll put in: "my eyes hurt" plus something random like "hockey skates edible?" just to throw it off. but this story does say a lot about the state of our healthcare system. back in the day, if you had eye pain, you'd call up your family doctor and he'd tell you to smoke more cigarettes. nowadays, you have to wait six weeks to get an appointment with your eye doctor, or you can go online and immediately find out that the eclipse glasses gave you autism. look, the good news is for most people, the pain is probably a case of eye strain. you'll be fine. because those glasses were made from the same high-tech advanced material as the birthday crown they give you at burger king. now speaking of looming shadows over america, let's move on to gun violence. america treats its gun problem the way a dog treats a new baby: by hoping that if we ignore it, it'll disappear. but at this point, any progress, no matter how small, would be better than the status quo. and now, a legal verdict might have set an important precedent.

>> breaking today. for the first time in the united states, parents whose son killed four teenagers will themselves spend 10-15 years in prison. >> they provided unrestricted access to the guns, ignored their sons at spiraling mental health problems, and enabled his actions by ignoring all of the warning signs. >> the school staff testified that parents were called to the school and urged to get him psychological health, just hours before the shooting, but they refused to take him home. >> michael: that's right. for the first time ever, parents are going to be liable for their kid's school shooting, which honestly makes sense to me. we already blame the parents for a lot less. when a teenager throws a loud party, we blame the parents. or when a kid has a stupid haircut, we blame the parents. we should blame the parents when a kid shoots up a school. and why stop with the parents? the grandparents raised those parents, so throw them in prison too. in fact, go all the way up the

family tree, you know? great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents. exhume all the bodies and put them in a special ghost jail. and if you're thinking, "wait, we have to build ghost prisons now? wouldn't it be more reasonable to just regulate guns?" yeah, i agree. [cheers and applause] either way, after hearing what these parents did, i don't ever want to hear again that i'm a bad parent just for giving my kid an ipad. the worst thing my kid is going to do in school is talk in a "peppa pig" accent all day. [laughs] let's move on to some presidential news in our ongoing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] if you're like most young americans, you have thousands of dollars of college debt after getting your degree in tiktok gender studies.

thankfully, president joe biden is here to help. >> president biden unveiled his latest effort to free up more americans who are bogged down by student debt. the plan, announced during a visit to wisconsin, includes debt cancellation for those who now owe more than they borrowed because of runaway interest. >> we plan to deliver up to $20,000 in interest relief to over 20 million borrowers. >> michael: whoa! yeah! [cheers and applause] that's a nice forgiveness! speaking of, it's interesting is they call this "student debt forgiveness," as though the student did something wrong. "we forgive you for being a poor, broke bitch." but as long as biden's paying off student loans, how about paying off the other debt college kids incur? you know, my buddy greg never got me back from that time i spotted him for the sea-doo rental in panama city. where's my check, joe? but this is a reminder that college is too expensive. tuition, room and board, books, a computer to create a

social network that'll one day ruin democracy. it adds up. now some critics are saying that this student loan forgiveness is just a cynical bribe by joe to give young people what they want so they vote for him. and they're right. it's an ancient tactic called "politics." and joe biden better hope it works, because he really needs young people. >> in the 2020 nbc news exit poll, candidate biden led former president trump by 24% points among voters under 30, but an nbc survey january had president biden up by just eight percentage points in that same group. another poll last month showed mr. trump ahead by 18 points among voters under 30. >> are you excited to vote for president biden? >> um, i would personally say no. >> i'm excited to vote for someone that's not trump. but i wouldn't say that it is -- i'm excited for biden. >> michael: oof, man, joe biden is in trouble. the most liberal city in a critical swing state, and its

college students are on the fence. "i'm excited to vote for anyone besides trump!" "how about joe biden?" "no." so the big question is, will this new plan work? to help us answer that question, we go live to our own josh johnson. [cheers and applause] josh, you've been talking to young voters. what do they think of joe biden's student loan cancellation? >> i'll be blunt, michael. they think it's bullshit. young voters have deep, principled problems with the biden administration. he has failed us on climate change, social justice, immigration, and the way he eats ice cream is nasty. these are serious failures that need to be addressed. young people don't want a bribe. they want a leader who will secure our future. biden is not going to paper over these foundational shortcomings by promising us $20,000. what if he offered $25,000? >> yeah, we'll take it.

yeah, yeah. >> michael: [laughs] that was too easy. that was too easy. what about $21,000? >> hell no! you're gonna offer us money on a matter of principle? >> michael: $24,000. >> deal! >> michael: $22,500. >> hmm... >> michael: 23. >> ooh! here we go, joe! build back better, baby! [cheers and applause] >> michael: wow, he already has the money. josh johnson, everybody. when we come back, we'll talk about donald trump's latest election strategy. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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choose from 5 flavors. now that's finger lickin' good. 10 pieces for only $5.99. (♪♪) [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." as we all know, there's an ongoing battle in america about who should decide on abortion. should it be women? should it be congress? [cheers and applause] should it be congress? well, today, arizona is saying, "how about men from the civil war era?" >> arizona going back to the civil war era for their abortion laws. the arizona supreme court ruling that the state must comply with a 160-year-old law barring all abortions. the only exception to save a pregnant woman's life, but no exceptions for rape, no exceptions for incest. [boos]

>> michael: yeah, this is crazy! boo! boo! this is crazy! is arizona really using an abortion law from the 1860s? back then, there wasn't even a test to become a doctor. it was just a gross guy saying, "i love looking at scabs. i want to be a doctor." it's not even about abortion. we shouldn't be using any civil war law. i think at least every hundred years, we should just do a review of all the laws. "guys, we still against murder? great, moving on. all post offices have mandatory horse ties? no? scrap that." but this is the kind of thing women have been facing ever since roe v. wade was killed by the supreme court. and while many republicans would like the whole country to look like arizona, donald trump -- the guy who appointed those supreme court justices -- is now trying to position himself as a moderate on abortion. >> now to the race for the white house. after months of questions, former president donald trump today revealing his position on abortion, declining to call for a national ban, saying he would leave it up to the states. >> the states will determine by

vote or legislation, or perhaps both, and whatever they decide must be the law of the land, in this case, the law of the state. at the end of the day, this is all about the will of the people. >> elsewhere in the video, trump expressed support for ivf and abortion exceptions for rape, incest, and when the life of the mother is at risk. >> i strongly support the availability of ivf for couples who are trying to have a precious baby. >> michael: did he say "precious baby" sarcastically? "congrats on your bundle of joy." also, not the main point here but that's more spray-tan than usual, right? your first thought when you see someone's face should never be "is it cake?" but more importantly, yes, donald trump now says the states should choose their own abortion laws, although, i don't know why that's considered a moderate position.

"as a reasonable man, i think only some women should be forced to give birth against their will, depending on which state they live in. it's called common sense." honestly, i'm just shocked trump came out in support of ivf. i expected him to be like, "if your loser husband can't get it done, give me a call. i'll be in and out, two minutes." and by the way, trump isn't just trying to position himself as a moderate on abortion, he also wants to portray the democrats as the real extremists. >> it must be remembered that the democrats are the radical ones on this position because they support abortion up to and even beyond the ninth month. and even execution after birth. that's exactly what it is. the baby is born, the baby is executed after birth, is unacceptable, and almost everyone agrees with that. >> michael: come on, dude. democrats don't execute babies after birth. they send them to hillary so she can harvest their organs.

seriously, that's an obvious lie. nobody wants to execute babies. now when they're three or four years old and talking all goddamn day in a "peppa pig" accent, then you might find some execution support. but of course, you might be wondering, has this always been donald trump's position on abortion? well, in a way, it has, in that donald trump has had every position on abortion. >> i'm very pro-choice. i am pro-choice in every respect. >> trump says he has since changed his thinking and is now "100% pro-life." >> i am pro-life. >> do you believe in punishment for abortion, yes or no, as a principle? >> the answer is that there has to be some form of punishment. >> for the woman. >> yeah, there has to be some form. >> within three hours, trump did a 180. "if abortion were illegal," his campaign wrote, "the doctor or any other person performing this illegal act would be held legally responsible. not the woman." >> it will go back to the states and the states will make a determination.

>> it could be state or it could be federal. i don't frankly care. >> we're also seeking passage of the 20-week abortion bill. >> the number of weeks now people are agreeing on 15, and i'm thinking in terms of that. >> i know you're opposed to abortion. >> right, i'm pro-choice. >> you're pro-choice or pro-life? >> i'm pro-life, i'm sorry. >> pro-life. >> michael: i mean, and people claim biden has memory issues! trump's like, "remind me what my principled stand is on one of the biggest issues in the country?" this guy has truly been all over the place on abortion. i feel like his positions change based on which of his kids he saw last. ivanka? "pro life." eric and don? "mandatory abortion." now the cynics might say that trump is just taking whatever position on abortion is most helpful to him. but how dare they? i believe these are genuine changes of heart.

it's not like trump is coming right out and saying he's trying to win the election. >> you must follow your heart of this issue, but remember, you must also win elections. we must win. we have to win. >> michael: oh, okay, so i guess he is saying it. i should probably watch these clips before i host the show. but i guess we shouldn't be surprised. the right to life you can compromise on, but the right to an election? well, that's trump's "precious baby." now we come back, alex garland will be joining me on the show. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great. i know, i've bee telling everyone. baby: liberty. oh! baby: liberty. how many people did you tell? only pay for what you need. jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ (subway noises) ♪ ("tosca, act ii: vissi d'arte" by maria callas) ♪ ♪ (orchestra del teatro alla scala, milano) ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ (cat meowing) ♪ ("huge beats" by louis perez) ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: welcome back to "the daily show."

my guest tonight is an award-winning writer and director whose new film is called "civil war." >> hey. we're press. >> cool. now i understand why it's written on the side of your vehicle. >> are you wf? who is giving you orders? >> no one's giving us orders, man. someone's trying to kill us. we are trying to kill them. >> you don't know what side they are fighting for. >> michael: please welcome alex garland! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ how are you doing, buddy? [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

wow. thank you for coming. that is such an intense scene. and i loved your film. the whole thing is intense. there was a lot of assumptions about the film, just based on the trailer. >> yeah. >> michael: you wrote it, you directed it. what do you want to tell us about "civil war"? >> what i wanted to do was make something compelling and exciting and engaging and all that stuff, but also lead to some kind of conversation, have a thought process. >> michael: yeah. >> not all films do that. not all films have to do that. that's fine. but that is what this one is aiming for. and, you know, it is set in a world where division and polarized politics have led to some really strange authoritarian stuff and the country has disintegrated. >> michael: one of the things

that i felt so much of this film was so many of these american places that i love, born and raised in america, is the golf course, is the football stadium. in that scene we just saw, i mean, here's a sniper trying to take someone out on the golf course while christmas music is playing in the background. it is like, holy shit. as an american, i said, i don't want this to happen. i don't want us to go to a civil war. >> you shouldn't want it to happen. [laughter] >> michael: right. >> i don't want it to happen either. i have to see, also, seems like we are talking about it, since we appear to be on a television show right now. [laughter] >> michael: you are. >> it is not -- it really isn't just america. it is set in america but this situation exists in my country and in many european countries, the middle east and asia and south america, and i chose america because everybody looks to america. >> michael: right. >> but the things it is talking about are quite global. >> michael: as a brit, was it a little bit fun watching america crush itself? >> [laughs] no, it sucks. honestly, i hate it.

by the way, to be serious, nobody on the planet, apart from psychopaths, needs disintegration in this country. they don't -- nobody on the planet wants division in this country. they want stability and decency. yeah, for sure. [cheers and applause] >> michael: i think sometimes, when you're sitting on your couch at home on twitter, and we've got our political identities, there is kind of this cute idea of, oh, we are going to a civil war. but when you watch your film, it is [bleep] terrifying, dude. it's like, no, no. we should be having these conversations. one scene comes to mind in particular. the lincoln memorial. i mean, it is in the trailer so i don't want to spoil it. it gets exploded. >> don't blow it out. it's a good thing. >> michael: exactly. honestly, i went there as a seventh grader with my middle school.

i was just like, holy shit. how would i feel if this happened? of all the places you could have blown up in this film, and a lot of places do blow up. the lincoln memorial, tell me why that was important to you. >> well, actually, because particularly towards the end of the film, i wanted the audience, having gone through hopefully a compelling, engaging story, that you suddenly feel a really strong sense of urgency. >> michael: yes. >> like a really deep, instinctive sense of sort of being appalled. >> michael: yes. >> although it was written before january the 6th, there was something about january the 6th, that it was a disgrace. it was various things. but one of the things was, it was a disgrace and it provoked a feeling of whatever is happening, this shouldn't be happening. this just has, like, a deep wrongness about it and this is that writ large, i suppose. >> michael: we haven't spoken

about the role of the press in this film, and it's in the clip as well. but that is the center character, is the press. >> yeah, because on a personal level, i am completely over, completely over this demonization and villainization off the press. it's been happening a lot. [cheers and applause] yeah. it comes from politicians, and it comes from within social media, which is this weird public discourse space that doesn't really relate to how people talk to each other at all. we all know that, right? >> michael: yeah, yeah. >> in some places, it happens within the press, but whatever it is, we need journalists, we need trusted journalists in pretty much exactly the same way we need doctors. i am done with this thing and i thought -- when i was setting out to make it, someone said, don't make it about journalists. everyone hates journalists. i thought, this is nuts.

>> michael: is that a leap for me to say, if we gut journalism, we lead to civil war? >> so here's the thing. there is a system of checks and balances, government has checks and balances, executive, judiciary, legislature. then there's the fourth state. there is the journalists watching that. that is a system of checks and balances which is not arbitrary. it's for a reason. it's guarding against something. it's guarding against something real. if you erode it, if you erode government, if you erode the people watching the government, the things you are guarding against may just turn up. and what is that thing? actually, in europe, we know exactly what it looks like because fascism there came out of democracy. and it is actually a danger. >> michael: it's easy to watch this film and to go, america, watch out, america, this civil war can be yours. but really, you briefly stated, this isn't just the united states. >> we had a prime minister, a guy called boris johnson.

>> michael: sure. >> it was an interesting thing. he was manifestly a liar. it was completely obvious he was a liar. journalists would point this out but they didn't have any traction. it didn't do anything. it just sort of bounced off him. that was weird. so your country, my country, many other countries. i wish i had a joke up my sleeve. >> michael: no, you don't need a joke. >> you swore, right, this is [bleep] up. this is actually [bleep] up. it is dangerous. >> michael: dude, i watched your film, then i got an a cab in manhattan and i was like, i want to get the [bleep] -- i want to go to the country right now. it was very powerful, it's an antiwar film, for sure. is there a lesson i should be taking? should i be having more conversations with people that ideologically i'm different from? >> here is my feeling. most people are not extremists. most people just are not. they don't really have a voice.

extremists have occupied noise, and i think the key thing -- [applause] >> michael: thank you. thank you for coming to chat with us. thank you for your film. it is tremendous. i hope everybody sees it. "civil war" is in theaters and imax nationwide april 12th. alex garland. we're gonna take a quick break, we'll be right back after this. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ make me go loco, loco ♪ ♪ make me go loco, papi ♪ ( ♪♪ ) ♪ make me go loco, papi ♪ ( ♪♪ ) come seek the royal caribbean. ♪ go loco, loco ♪

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(♪♪) ...and coldest winters. (♪♪) all on one track. to prove these three-row suvs were built for the unstoppable. kia. movement that inspires. >> michael: that's our show for tonight. now here it is. your "moment of zen." >> give your parents an opportunity to go back to work. well, i would tell you what, you want to come make a speech or shush up? okay? i'm not messing around. he looks like he could take me. [audience reacts] captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

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