t building. so, what's in the cooler? [gasps] well, will you look at that. i guess i forgot to lock it. you mean it was open? we desecrated a pet cemetery for nothing? well... this is one for the books, huh, jerry? [♪♪] kramer: really one for the books. [♪♪] the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> dulce: hello, friends! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm dulce sloan! [cheers and applause] we've got so much to talk about tonight. trump's got himself a real new york jury, red lobster is in trouble, girl, and the newest olympic sport is gynecology. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with sports. all right, it's now just 100 days until the summer olympics, when we find out which of the world's athletes is most like a dolphin. so yesterday, nike unveiled the new team usa uniforms, and one of the options for women's track and field is getting a lot of attention. oh, is this not getting your attention?

zoom in! zoom in! right! we got your attention now! look at this. that doesn't even cover the mannequin's pussy, and she doesn't even got one! this output should not be for team usa. team brazilian, absolutely. and what is the point of this? are they trying to distract the other competitors? folks just slamming into the hurdles, like, "ow! i forgot to jump, i was looking at vagina." don't nobody want to see this! we want to see the man from tonga, put him up! [cheers and applause] i miss you. in other sports news: nba player jontay porter recently got caught gambling on his own team, and even faking injuries to influence bets. and today, the nba banned him for life. [cheers and applause] it's the harshest punishment the nba can hand down besides

making you play for the detroit pistons. i mean, i guess it's easier to try and fake an injury than than to play better. but still, fixing games is an unacceptable thing for an nba player to do. now if it was the wnba, that's another thing. they're underpaid. they need a side hustle! you got to do what you got to do, sis. now moving on. if you're going on a bad anniversary dinner, i've got news for you: red lobster is considering filing for bankruptcy. [audience reacts] which is ironic because every customer in red lobster is already broke. now, the report says it's because of expensive leases and labor cost, but you know who i blame? men! that's right. y'all aren't living up to beyonce's standards! mm-hmm. y'all not [bleep] your women good enough to earn that trip to red lobster! that's what happened!

your dick game is weak, and now? an entire restaurant chain is going under! you should be ashamed of yourselves. but this doesn't affect me, though. i get my seafood from the tanks at an aquarium anyway. see, i'm dating this guy who gets in the scuba gear and cleans the glass. he brings me the best stuff. have you ever had beluga whale? ooh! it's delicious. but let's move on to the big story, the trial of donald "cell block j" trump, in another edition of "america's most tremendously wanted." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> dulce: the courthouse is on break today. you know, because it's wednesday? so when they let out yesterday, trump celebrated with a little tour of new york's hot spots. >> new york city may be heavily democratic, but former

president trump campaigned there anyway, tuesday, visiting a bodega after jury selection in his manhattan hush money trial wrapped up for the day. >> god bless you, man. >> movie star. gonna be a movie star, huh? >> dulce: are you kidding me, donald trump? you're going to tell an immigrant father that his son should get into acting? what is wrong with you? soon as you leave, that dad is going to be like, "don't listen to that crazy man. you are going to take over this store when i die." by the way, if you're from new york, you know it killed all those guys to have trump standing in the store wasting everyone's time. that owner was two seconds away from being like, "hey, donald, buy something or get the [bleep] out!" i will say, i'm surprised trump didn't hit up the lotto machine while he was there. dude owes over $500 million in fines. can you imagine owing so much money that you have to hit the powerball just to get back to zero? now, as for the actual trial, this week is all about picking a

jury. and it might seem impossible to find 12 new yorkers with an unbiased opinion of donald trump, but they're actually making some progress. >> this morning, seven jurors are sworn in to hear the historic criminal case against donald trump. so far, there are three women and four men. the foreman is originally from ireland and still has the accent. >> dulce: yeah, he better still have the accent. what's the point of telling us he's from ireland if he doesn't have the accent? an irishman with no accent is just a white dude in america. it's funny how the news can only point out someone's accent if they're white. you can be sure wolf blitzer's never going to be like, "he's originally from china... and he's still got the accent!" no, wolf blitzer, you are going to get canceled, friend, canceled. and look, if you're going to be found guilty, you want to hear it in an irish accent.

it's so pleasant and charming. [in an irish accent] "looks like you'll be tradin' in your pint o' guinness for some toilet wine, me lad. har tar tar tar tar." [in regular voice] i don't know why we look for me to do an irish accent. it sounds funny. anyway, aside from patty mcgee, who else is on this jury? >> it's an interesting cross section of the kind of people in manhattan, the jury of donald trump's peers. there's an oncology nurse who said no one is above the law. a teacher from a family of police officers says president trump speaks his mind. and a grandfather from puerto rico called who trump fascinating and mysterious. >> dulce: "fascinating and mysterious?" he's not a chanel fragrance! and this dude is the least mysterious person in life! he tells us everything he's thinking. i know the names of all the people he's had sex with! i've heard the details of what his penis looks like! the only mysterious thing about him what animal his wig is made out of. for more on the jury selection, let's go live to the courthouse

with josh johnson! [cheers and applause] so josh, what's the rest of the jury going to look like? >> well, ideally, they'll end up with a jury that represents new york. and they already have a nurse, a teacher, and a puerto rican. so now they just need a white woman who calls herself a "witch" and feels bad about gentrifying but definitely isn't moving. i'm told they're also looking for a subway masturbator, and someone with a history of stabbing, and/or being stabbed. and to represent the views of staten island, they're looking for a fireman or a racist. >> dulce: racist against who? >> ideally, everybody. and of course, they're definitely going to want a young black man who's nicely-dressed, non-threatening, and standing outside the courthouse right now. >> dulce: josh, are you trying

to get on the jury? >> nah! i mean, if i'm called upon, it's my civic duty to, sure. yes. yes. i want to be on the jury. yes. >> dulce: josh, why? no one wants jury duty. the only people who don't get out of jury duty are the ones who are stupid or hate their families. >> joke's on you, dulce. i don't have a family or stupid. >> dulce: yo, what? >> look, the point is, in this economy -- [laughter and applause] the point is, in this economy you need steady work, and being on a trump trial is the steadiest work. this gig could last me for decades! >> dulce: it's $40 a day. you can't make a living off that. >> that's because you're not factoring in the potential bribe money. i'm not leaving anything on the table. look, trump.

are you looking? trump, i'm talking to you. now. hey, boy, boy! look at the tv! now. for $400, you walk free. for $450, i'll put stormy daniels in jail. okay? i don't even know if i can do that, but i'm going to try. as long as i walk out of that courtroom with a check and a mink coat. >> dulce: you can't pull off a mink coat. you're going to look like a pre-pubescent katt williams. so you don't care about this trial, you just want to be on the jury for selfish reasons. >> yeah, obviously. this thing's a cash cow. all these jurors are going to get book deals, daytime tv appearances. at least one of them is going to be on the "masked singer." and i think i have what it takes to be a sexy wombat. >> dulce: it's not easy money. being part of a high-profile trial is exhausting. >> not this one. i can nap whenever trump is napping.

i'll dip my head when he dips his head. i'll bop up when he bops up. as long as we snore in rhythm, nobody will notice. >> dulce: josh, be serious! the leading presidential candidate is on trial. isn't there a chance that he might finally face justice? [laughter] [cheers and applause] [laughter] >> oh, no. >> dulce: she's going to laugh when she hear what i said! josh johnson, everybody. [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll drink wine! so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause] >> dulce: welcome back to "the daily show." let's talk about wine. you might think that it's mostly for white people, but once again, you are wrong! i went to a far-off land to show you why. i have been watching white people drink wine and pretending to know what the hell a candidates for decades but they are not the only ones that want to get blind drunk on a weekday and call it a book club. luckily, there are black-owned businesses who are kicking in

the trellis on this exclusive's industry. welcome to wine country? georgia? thought i was going to italy. >> to learn more about chattering the wine glass ceiling, i met up with the owners of these wine tours, a black owned company that guides folks from atlanta straight through the wine town. so how did you all get into do wine tours? did you wake up one day and go, i love wine! i wish i could help people drink it! >> anywhere we travel, first thing i want to know, where his wine country and where are the spots? when we came here and i said it asking around, where is my country, we stumbled up on all of these wineries here. >> no one in atlanta knew about the wineries. >> they didn't know. >> up in this northern tier, about 38-40 wineries. >> dulce: from greeks? >> yes. >> dulce: are there a lot of other black people doing wine tours? >> we are one of the first. the last 3-4 years, it has

started to really explode. >> dulce: with getting a little bit more colorful as they like to say? >> yeah. >> dulce: the clientele is changing. >> yes. >> dulce: were there any people that came to do a tour with the all and were, hello? get the car! [laughter] now i got to get something off my chest. >> i'm very excited to support black businesses but i do have a profeconfessional, i don't like. i have never liked wine. why would you want to make me drink this? >> that's the reason for wine tours. we take you out to sample wine, to learn how to drink it. >> and how to properly taste the wine. >> dulce: but i've had a ton my whole life. >> we will open up your senses. >> show you how to use it correctly -- >> dulce: hey, hey, you are a nice couple, you are not going to show me how to use my tongue. wow, people from one country move fast. guess i got to try the stuff for myself. >> our first one is a

chardonnay. this is going to be a real treat for you. >> dulce: okay. >> this pair is really where will the shrimp and grits. >> with the shrimp and grits, you have chardonnay and. >> a little taste. >> this, opens up the wine for the bouquet inside the glass. you want to take a little in your mouth, you want to add oxygen by sucking it up through that, i will show you. >> dulce: i don't like a man telling me to slurp. >> tastes a little smoother. >> i guess so. >> it takes some getting used to. >> dulce: oh, yeah, it takes some getting used to. >> chug, chug. >> dulce: slow drinking does not come naturally to me. when did we get to the foodstuff? >> when you're growing up in italy, you pair your wine with the food. this bears very well with ch cheese. >> dulce: air out this cheese. [laughter] >> no hit your wine again. >> okay.

that's good, i don't like it. [laughter] >> damn, this wine is dry. i want to get to something sweet. >> so this is wine infused with chocolate. if you just need a little bit after you have dinner. >> i nap her teeth. >> there you go ! >> dulce: don't look at me like i don't know shit. >> do you like it? >> yeah, it is sweet. [laughter] >> dulce: okay, so he didn't succeed in expanding my pallet, but at least i supported a black-owned business. plus, you have to stick to what you like and i like chocolate wine. >> to chocolate wine! >> to chocolate wine. >> dulce: it is great to know that wine tours are getting more diverse, but what about the people actually growing the grapes. >> are there any black wineries in the area? >> there are not. lou we look at the whole country, there's about 11,000 plus wineries throughout the country. just about 1% are black-owned. >> dulce: damn, only 1%? that gives me an idea. i got to open up own black-owned

business, one that makes mine as sweet as me. ♪ ♪ introducing a new blend straight out of dulce vineyards. a chocolate wine that pairs perfectly with a chocolate man. a sugary river of love. dulce winery. we ain't got none of that dry shit. [cheers and applause] >> dulce: when we come back, orlando bloom will be joining me on the show! so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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(♪♪) [cheers and applause] >> dulce: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor and adventure enthusiast who has a new limited docuseries called "orlando bloom: to the edge." ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> hard, hard, hard! >> dulce: please welcome orlando bloom! ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] hello! >> how are you? hi, everyone! that's a nice -- that's a nice, warm response. hi, everyone. >> dulce: oh, you got interviewed before. don't act like you haven't had a million people go "orlando!" [screams] like you haven't been acting as long as most of these people have been alive. i just saw you jump out of a -- out of a plane. >> mm-hmm. >> dulce: you know you need your face for work, right? >> [laughs] >> dulce: mr. orlando bloom, why are you jumping out of planes? with a batsuit on. >> with a batsuit on. >> dulce: look like a the flying squirrel. >> the flying squirrel.

>> dulce: you were jumping out of planes wearing a batsuit like a flying squirrel. >> i didn't get any takes on a longevity show where i meet people who live long and prosper. i had that idea. it was covid when i felt really the palpable level of fear around me. i don't know about you but i was like, if i get out of this, i want to do something that shows how people live in such a way that they can survive this. but like i said, nobody bit on that. but they said, how about we throw you out of a plane? on the bottom of the ocean, up a mountain? okay, that works. >> dulce: okay. don't you have children? [laughter] because if i am miss katy perry and i have a baby at home, and i'm like, sir, if you don't sit down, why? for what? >> oh, god love you. she is amazing. super -- we both support each other immensely. but obviously, perhaps she didn't know exactly quite the lengths i would be going to until i kind of came home freaking out, sweating and going, uh, that was real and a

lot. i hope that -- for me, it was like, this was an opportunity to get super capable, super focused, and actually, these remarkable athletes that taught me these incredible things. luke akins was the guy taught me to wingsuit camilla teaching me to free dive, and an amazing adaptive climber who was born with one hand and climbed exactly what i climbed. these are people with an incredible skill set and i kind of felt like, if i could learn, instead of being this impulsive kid that i kind of always had been, that was when i got into trouble, like, flying around on my motorcycle, thinking i could do anything. and then, not knowing the protocols, not knowing exactly. it was like an education in becoming super present, super capable, and able to push through what i think was an edge for me. now listen, for other people, their edges are a little different. but it was like, it wouldn't

necessarily play on tv in the same way. >> dulce: well, my edge is being a black woman in america. so. >> there you go! [cheers and applause] you only have to step out the house, right? [laughter] >> dulce: listen, i walk outside and i'm like, man, this is extreme! >> this is real. >> dulce: lord, i hope i make it back tonight. i might meet jesus before i cross the street. so you went wing suiting, rock climbing, free diving. >> yeah. >> dulce: and i thought diving didn't cost any money. >> [laughs] it's actually free. >> dulce: what is free diving? >> i basically swam to -- i ended up about 102 feet, 37 meters. i guess it is like one-tenth of the chrysler building, or ten floors. maybe ten floors. i swam to ten floors on one breath. >> dulce: down and back? it was five down and five up?

ten down and ten up? >> ten down and ten up. >> dulce: so it's like 200 feet? >> yeah, yeah. >> dulce: so is free diving called that because it is free of air? is that why? because you don't have -- there is no snorkel? >> no. >> dulce: there is just you -- >> you and your breath and the great, deep beyond. [laughs] >> dulce: wow. >> pretty scary. it's a weird feeling because you are literally like, you know, i am not claustrophobic and i love the ocean, but there was a lot of technical stuff with equalizing and i had a mask and it was challenging. but we got there and i only had, like, a week to kind of do that. i learned to hold my breath. i kept doing these techniques. so camilla, who was training me, taught me these breath routines, ways to exhale, hold breath out, to build up this co2, which is what you feel most uncomfortably when you are underwater. and then holding your breath for an extended period of time. it is unnatural.

>> dulce: yeah. >> it's not something that -- i definitely wouldn't recommend it to just go do that. you know, but it was like, i think i got a lot from it. >> dulce: that's amazing. i'm so excited for you for this project. >> thanks. i hope you like it. >> dulce: i will love it. i love to watch you -- i love to watch you. [cheers and applause] "orlando bloom: to the edge" premieres april 18th on peacock. orlando bloom! we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ break up with your old wings, and...

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