- [speaking french] - [speaking french] - [speaking french] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your hosts, jordan klepper and ronny chieng! [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> jordan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm jordan klepper and he's ronny chieng. >> ronny: hey, i can speak for myself! can you help me say this next part? >> jordan: i definitely can. we've got so much to talk about tonight. joe biden gets into a fight with papa new guinea. tiktok might be banned forever. and we find out why people are yelling at your car. >> ronny: but first, donald trump is being gagged and tortured, so let's watch it, you perverts, in our ongoing coverage of "america's most tremendously wanted!" ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> jordan: today was the second day of trump's hush money trial and the first witness was the editor of "the national enquirer." he testified that to help trump

win the 2016 election, he would buy scandalous stories about trump and then bury them. and what a great job he did. i can't think of a single trump scandal! but before they could even get into that, they had to hold a separate hearing to find out if trump violated a gag order when he threatened jurors and witnesses. and that hearing did not go well for trump. >> it was a pretty wild and intense hearing on donald trump's gag order. it all turned into a very heated exchange between the judge and trump lawyer, todd blanche, who argued that trump is being very careful. while a clearly frustrated judge merchan responded, "mr. blanche, you're losing all credibility with this court." >> minutes after the hearing ended, trump attacked the judge on social media, calling him a "kangaroo court." >> jordan: wow, this guy is incapable of keeping his mouth shut for two minutes. has trump ever considered paying himself hush money?

think about it. this is a complicated issue about balancing rights. basically, the prosecution's argument is that a juror has the right to feel safe while serving on donald trump's jury, while donald trump's argument is that that juror lives at 34 west 52nd street, and maybe someone should pay that juror a visit and straighten him out. but this gag order is serious. trump might have to pay up to $1,000 per violation. >> ronny: yeah, $1,000? that's not going to stop trump from talking. okay, you've got to deal with this like any other tantrum. you have to give trump an ipad with "cocomelon" and let him zone out. >> jordan: then he's going to expect "cocomelon" whenever he's upset. >> ronny: okay, we'll deal with that later, all right? we just need him to stop now. it's so noisy, i can't even think in this house! >> jordan: this is not what dr. becky would want. anyway, for more on the results of the gag order hearing, let's go to desi lydic! [cheers and applause]

desi! desi, now that the gag order hearing is over, they can get back to focusing on the actual trial, right? >> unfortunately, no. because during the gag order hearing, donald trump made a jerk-off motion, so they needed a gag order hearing to see if that violated the gag order, before they could get back to the first gag order. >> jordan: oh. but then after that, it's all set? >> no, because during that gag order hearing, the judge heard trump saying, "i'm judge pee-pee head." and when the judge asked, "did you just call me judge pee-pee head?" trump said he was just rehearsing for a community theater production where he plays a judge named pee-pee head, so then they had to have a hearing about that. >> jordan: but once that's done, the actual case. >> yes. but no, because during that hearing, trump made another jerk-off motion, but then he said it wasn't a jerk-off motion, so they need a quick hearing to determine how he jerks off, then a hearing about

whether he made the jerk-off motion, then judge pee-pee head, then the first jerk-off hearing, then the gag order. >> jordan: and then the actual case. >> what case? >> jordan: the hush money case! >> oh. nobody remembers that. keep up with the news cycle, jordan. you're at the desk, for god's sake. >> jordan: thank you, desi. we'll check back in with you later. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: now clearly, trump thinks he's being treated unfairly in this trial, and he's not the only one. some think the gag order is just the start of the oppression trump is facing. >> okay, jesse, let me start with you. the prosecution says this is election fraud. and they say pure and simple. is it? >> i call it pure evil. so they've taken away his freedom of speech. and now they've taken away his freedom of movement. i mean, they had more allowances for khalid sheikh mohammed. >> ronny: oh, okay, that sounds

wild, but i think jesse watters is a reasonable man, because i was kicked in the head by a horse last week, so let's hear him out! how is trump being treated worse than the mastermind of 9/11? >> the guy needs exercise. he's usually golfing and so you're going to put a man who is almost 80 sitting in a room like this on his butt for all that time? it's not healthy. he needs sunlight. he needs activity. he needs to be walking around. he needs actions. it is really cruel and unusual punishment to make a man do that. >> jordan: are we talking about donald trump or an old english sheepdog? "you can't keep him cooped up all day! he needs time outside or he'll pee on the couch!" >> ronny: look, we all know how donald trump loves exercise. because of this trial, he's been morbidly obese for the last 40 years. >> jordan: would trump even want fresh air and exercise? these actually sound like the punishments the judge would give trump if he's convicted. >> ronny: "fresh air and

exercise? just give me the death penalty!" but listen, i'll give jesse watters the benefit of the doubt because i was also kicked in the head by the same horse. so let's let him continue. >> this isn't law fare, it's torture. they're making a 77-year-old man sit inside a dingy room for eight hours straight four days a week. >> jordan: eight hours a day, four days a week, it's literally torture! or as the rest of the world calls it... a job! a part-time job! >> ronny: i mean, this is the same guy who's asking to be the president of the united states. that's got to be at least a 40-hour-a-week gig. is he going to gte overtime? >> jordan: also, i thought trump was supposed to be the young, vigorous candidate in the race. now when he needs sympathy, suddenly he's a poor, elderly man, crippled by the weight of his own body pulverizing his bones into dust against the chair. but you know what? get that horse back out here, because i want to give jesse one

more chance. >> they are telling the entire world, all the wackos, this is where the former president is going to be at this date, at this time, surrounded by high-rise buildings. >> ronny: yes, it's very dangerous for people to know trump's exact location. which is why he lives in a nondescript building with his name on the front. >> jordan: the trump campaign also tells us where he's going to be and exactly when. they're called trump rallies, and it's how i know where to go to get yelled at. >> ronny: and you know the worst part is about putting him on trial is that they're treating him like he's some kind of criminal defendant. >> today, the former president of the united states, if he leaves court to go to the restroom -- jail. if he calls the prosecutor corrupt, jail. if trump moves or says anything, they scream "jail." >> ronny: if he mixes recycling? jail. if he scratches his crotch? jail. >> jordan: he gets a high score on the s.a.t.? yale. >> ronny: his favorite batman?

christian bale. >> jordan: his favorite vegetable? french fries. >> ronny: definitely not kale. but he is going to jail, though. >> jordan: he's going to go to jail. >> ronny: he's going to go to jail. meanwhile, with donald trump trapped in the courthouse, it was a perfect opportunity for joe biden to seize the initiative. hey, man, you've got the campaign all to yourself, mr. president. time to press your advantage. >> the prime minister of papua new guinea has angrily denied a false claim by president biden that his uncle was eaten by cannibals during world war ii. >> he flew those single engine planes as reconnaissance over war zones. and he got shot down in new guinea, and they never found the body because there used to be -- there were a lot of cannibals, for real, in that part of new guinea. >> ronny: you're going to lose the election. >> jordan: look, at some point, we all get to an age where we confuse our own life story with the plot of "indiana jones."

it happens. it happens. >> ronny: that's true, the man's 80! we all have grandparents who tell crazy stories. like, my grandfather told me that he once wrestled a mountain lion with his bare hands. >> jordan: oh, yeah! and my grandfather told me that he cheated on my grandmother through their entire marriage and had a second family. [laughs] get outta here, grandpa! you goofball. [laughs] >> ronny: and can i just say, even if this story was true, americans are in no position to criticize how anyone else eats. "these cannibals eat people!" yeah, well, we eat subway sandwiches to lose weight. >> jordan: and would a cannibal even eat people out of a wreckage? that's like their version of eating roadkill. >> ronny: i know, you want to eat pasture-raised, grass-fed humans. and by the way, i know the prime minister was upset, understandably, but if someone accused my country of being cannibals, i'd run with it. "don't [bleep] with us, or we'll put your dick on a kaiser roll."

>> jordan: that is fair. anyway, biden apologized to the papua new guinea prime minister by inviting him to a dinner with pete buttigieg, who will be served over rice with a balsamic reduction. [laughs] >> ronny: before we go, let's check back in with desi lydic down at the courthouse. [cheers and applause] desi, desi. any updates on the gag order hearing? >> actually, yes, the democrats are now asking for a new gag order. >> ronny: what did trump do this time? >> no, they're asking the judge to issue a gag order on joe biden. it's really the only way to get him to stop telling "uncle cannibal" stories. >> ronny: the democrats are asking biden -- but if biden has a gag order, won't that affect his ability to campaign? >> yes. at this point, the dnc feels strongly that's his best shot at winning. otherwise, his strongest supporters will be cannibals and that's a dwindling voting bloc for obvious reasons.

>> ronny: desi lydic, everybody! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we'll find out the best way to yell in your car. so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

do you guys think we come here too much? ♪ your cousin from boston ♪ summer ale! octoberfest! winter lager! cold snap! nah! it's sam season [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome back to "the daily show."

there's a new bill making its way through congress this week that could ban tiktok in the u.s. >> ronny: and that would be a big loss for a lot of people. tiktok isn't just the viral dancing app anymore. it's also one of the main places people go to share opinions about news and culture. opinions like this. >> so little did i know that taylor swift was literally going to prove the point that i was making in the videos i made a few weeks ago. so let's talk about that 1830s line in her latest song, and i also want to do it while talking about the abortion law in arizona from 1864. >> ronny: yeah, she really just jumped from taylor swift to abortion law, which means the first two seconds of that video has more tonal variety than taylor's entire new album. am i right, jordan? [audience reacts] >> jordan: don't get me involved in this. two thumbs up, taylor swift, way to go. by the way, if you watch a lot of videos like that, you've probably noticed how many of them are filmed inside of cars. it gives them that extra "i'm on the move and my disapproving spouse is at home" energy. and if you're wondering,

"do i need a car to sound off on tiktok?" well, not anymore. >> in today's world, you need a car that can do more than just get you to your destination. you need a car where you can sit in the front seat and record what is going on and on 10. >> you understand what china is doing. >> with this shit going on at the border -- >> the evidence -- >> the [bleep] common courtesy, and even common sense. all the shit going extinct or am i crazy? >> blah, blah, blah, bitch. >> that is why we here at rant-a-car are here to get you the perfect car to film yourself calling nancy pelosi hitler. >> this guy is 100% all beef. >> good morning. it looks like you have reserved a sedan to go apeshit on target to pushing the trans agenda on target? >> they got [bleep] t-shirts with [bleep] rainbows on it,

they worship the devil! >> let's take a look at what we have available. >> thank you so much. >> our cars are the perfect place to voice your opinions, no matter what lane you're driving. >> shall phobic back up your as now, trump, because they don't got any burgers in prison. could i try a hybrid actually? >> of course they are >> in fact, we have vehicles for all of your lifestyle needs. >> it's and dale was literally about skincare. >> rant-a-car has everything you need for your deranged, rambling monologue. i picked up my rant-a-car and forgot to bring my phone, i was so fixated on doing it to give talk about how the vaccines made my cousin's nipples fall off. luckily, rant-a-car had a phone i could rent and an extra pair of sunglasses and an extra goatee. >> wake up, america. >> i am over it. i am sick and tired of it. coming to jordan today comig to rant-a-car today. you've got the rant and we have the car. >> they have those tracking devices. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: when we come back,

stephanie kelton will be joining us on the show, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪♪ bacon. bacon. bacon. introducing applebee's new whole lotta bacon burger. just $9.99 for a limited time. applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. you ready? ugh! nope! try my old spice. you can use it on your pits, chest and even your... toes? that's not your toes. oh that's fresh! ♪♪ ♪ (old spice mnemonic) ♪ to help save for our home, we stopped going on trips and giving each other expensive gifts. we handmade them instead.

that one took me three weeks. getting pre-qualified for a home loan was easier. only took like three minutes. fox scarf! oh! you've got to squish it! i did squish it! [chatter] [laughter] (♪♪) you know dad, we should do this more often. s'more often? oh my gosh.

welcome to the credit karmaverse. here we monitor your finances

and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome back to "the daily show." our guest tonight is a professor of economics and public policy and author of the bestselling book "the deficit myth." she is featured in the new documentary, "finding the money." >> mmt has always been a group of us that sacrificed a lot to make the professional decision to say things that are different from what everybody else is saying. knowing that you are going to be not just challenged, but

ridiculed along the way, you got to have some thick skin to get through it. but if you are convinced that the work you are doing is important, and that the ideas will hold up to scrutiny, then you just keep pushing forward. >> ronny: please welcome stephanie kelton! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> jordan: stephanie, welcome. >> thank you. >> jordan: stephanie, it's a fascinating documentary. i will say, you are setting out -- correct me if i am wrong -- to fundamentally change how people see money. >> yeah. >> jordan: that is a big ask and we've got about 7 minutes. >> yeah. >> jordan: i think a place to start is with mmt, right? mmt, if you can help us define

what mmt is and what the narrative you are hoping to get across with mmt. what is the new economic narrative? it is no longer pull yourself up by your bootstraps. what is mmt telling us? >> so in economics, it is widely known as the dismal science. >> jordan: got to get better branding. >> that is what mmt is trying to do, better branding. in the dismal science, it is all about scarcity, and we can never have the things we want because there is always this really intrusive problem, which is, how are you going to pay for it? where is the money going to come from? and the problem is that we treat money like just any other scarce good or service in the economy. and what mmt is doing is saying, hold on a second. we are not on a gold standard anymore. we have this thing called a fiat currency, and it does make people nervous, because a fiat currency sort of opens up space and it's kind of like, wait, is money real after all? so mmt is an economic framework that tries to have an honest

conversation, that talks to people like grown-ups. not insulting people by telling them that you have to treat the government's budget like a household budget and speaking down to people. we want to be honest about the monetary system we have today, the capacities of the government to spend when you have a fiat currency and you are not tying your currency to gold and promising to convert into something that you could run out of, like physical gold. so we are opening up the conversation, where there are still limits and you still have to make choices, but we can have an adult conversation about how the government can actually operate its budget when it doesn't face the same kinds of constraints that a household or a business faces. >> jordan: i guess, by that -- the big headline with this as well is the way we look at what the deficit means, correct? >> yeah. >> jordan: i hear deficit, you hear it in the news, every politician talks about it. deficit equals bad. and the major narrative of mmt, monetary -- modern monetary

theory -- is deficit, good. correct? >> every deficit is good for someone in purely financial terms, and i will tell you why. because you are right. we use this word and it sounds inherently like something has gone wrong. if somebody is in deficit, there is a problem, right? you don't want to turn on the sporting game and find the announcer saying that your team is going to have to come back and overcome a seven run deficit if they are going to win the game. it's always a bad thing. but actually, if you think about the what the government deficit is, it is just the difference between two numbers. that's all it is. [laughter] >> jordan: what a relief. [laughter] >> ronny: i guess we are fine. everything is fine. [laughter] >> it is fine in the sense that it is just a benign mathematical, like, it's a difference between two numbers. it's not even higher order math. it is just how many dollars the government spends into the economy each year versus how many they take back out, mostly through taxation. so simple math, if they spend $100 into the economy, and they

only take $90 back out, we label it a government deficit. somebody records it as a minus ten on the government's ledger. what we forget to do is to recognize if they put 100 in and only take 90 out, somebody gets ten. so the government's deficit is matched or mirrored by a financial surplus in some other part of the economy. >> jordan: this is -- >> ronny: hang on. so did you guys meet backstage or something? what the hell? what is mmt? what does mmt stand for? >> so it is modern monetary theory. so again, the currency, we are not on a gold standard. we are in the modern fiat age. >> ronny: okay, what is fiat? it is it a good car that i should get or what? >> what you are walking around with if you got some of this stuff in your wallet is a tax credit. so those dollar bills that we are walking around with, we think of that as money, right? we can use it to transact, we can use it to buy and sell things, make purchases of goods

and services -- >> ronny: okay, and money is good? >> it is good to have, generally. it is really good to have when you have to pay your taxes because this is what the government expects us to hand over at the end of the day. >> ronny: okay, money is good. i'm with you so far. >> but let's do this. what about that government deficit that you just mentioned? and i said every government deficit is good for someone. why? because it is just a financial deposit into some other part of the economy. the question is, good for whom and good for what? the government can increase its deficit to do things like feed hungry kids, tackle the climate crisis, fix crumbling infrastructure. all of those things are ways to use a government deficit that might have desirable results for people. and for the economy. >> ronny: okay, yeah. so money is good. deficit is good. i'm with you so far. so what is the problem? what is the bad? what is the problem here? >> well, a big part of the problem is the way that we have been taught to think about these things, to try to stamp out

deficits, to reduce them, to view them as inherently dangerous. they are not inherently dangerous. as i just said, they can be used it to help us accomplish important goals in the economy. >> ronny: so okay? what is the next step? let's say, we believe in mmt, or yeah, mmt, what is the next thing -- is belief enough? do i just have to pray to mmt? what has to happen next? >> what has to happen next is that the people that we elect to represent us have to go in there and take decisions, using the incredible power that they have, called the power of the purse, that they have got to take decisions about whether to fund programs, whether to cut programs, not on the belief that they ought to be operating their budget like a household but when these decisions come up like social security and medicare or continuing with the inflation reduction act, and staying in the game on climate change, and going even beyond what that

legislation did, what i think gives me hope anyway is that we have demonstrated what we are capable of and that we can build on it and not revert back to old ways of thinking about austerity and the need to reduce deficits, because that is when you hammer your economy. that is when people have a lost decade. that is when, all of a sudden, the prosperity that is within reach starts to slip through our fingers. >> ronny: so when the irs comes from my taxes, just got to tell them, yo, deficit is good? don't worry about it? don't worry about it. >> jordan: you know what you need to do, you need to take some thc or some dmt and let the mmt just wash over you. let the paradigm shift come to you, ronny chieng. >> ronny: yeah, i think i'm in it right now. >> jordan: i think you are in it. "finding the money" will be released in select theaters and on demand may 3rd. for more information, go to findingmoneyfilm.com. stephanie kelton. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back

after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ look at the salt on that dressed dos equis. after two billion years underground, that salt could've ended up in a half-empty box in a half-empty pantry. but now, it's lucky enough to find itself circling an authentic mexican dos equis. (♪♪) congratulations, salt. from where you sit now, (♪♪) it's clear your patience paid off handsomely. i love your dress. oh thanks! i splurged a little because liberty mutual customized my car insurance and i saved hundreds. that's great.

i know, right? i've been telling everyone. baby: liberty. did you hear that? ty just said her first word. can you say “mama”? baby: liberty. can you say “auntie”? baby: liberty. how many people did you tell? only pay for what you need. jingle: ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ baby: ♪ liberty. ♪ ♪ ("holiday road") ♪ ♪ holiday road ♪ wherever your summer takes you, twist the ride... with twizzlers. the twist you can't resist. with so many choices on booking.com there are so many tina feys i could be. so i hired body doubles. indoorsy tina loves a deluxe suite.

ooh! booking.com booking.yeah dad, don't forget about my new cleats. sweetie, i can't make it to dick's this week. have you heard of dicks.com? have i heard of dicks.com? girl: let's go! let's go! have i heard of dicks.com? (screaming) whoa. don't overthink it. let's go shopping. actually what i need are some cleats. how about one of these? great. done. anything else? no. golf clubs? not for me, for a friend... yeah, yeah, of course... anyone impressed with how fast that was? yeah, totally! i know, i went to dicks... my cleats! thank you! i love you! wha... i-i went to dicks.com. ever heard of it? girl 2: yeah, i told you about that. ( ♪♪ ) popeye's $25 tenders bundle is perfect for the whole family! you get 12 hand breaded chicken tenders, four sauces, your choice of four regular sides, four biscuits, and four small drinks for just $25! you can feed the whole family at a price you're gonna love! ♪ love that chicken from popeyes ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight. >> ronny: now here it is, your "moment of zen."

>> i think everybody has made their own assessment of president trump's character and as far as i know, you don't pay someone $130,000 not to have sex with you. >> wow. that was a republican mitt romney. what a sound bite. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ - okay, children, let's take our seats. we have something very important to discuss. due to recent events around the country, i have been instructed to teach you all about

sexual harassment in school. - about what? - now, does anybody know what "sexual harassment" means? yes, eric? - when you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind. - no, eric, that's not what i'm talking about! the school board has sent over a special guest to teach us all about sexual harassment in schools. please welcome petie, the sexual harassment panda. - ♪ who lives in the east 'neath a willow tree ♪ ♪ sexual harassment panda ♪ ♪ who explains sexual harassment to you and me? ♪ ♪ sexual harassment panda ♪ ♪ don't say that, don't touch there ♪ ♪ don't be nasty says the silly bear ♪ ♪ he's gonna tell you what's right and wrong ♪ ♪ sexual harassment panda ♪ hi, boys and girls! - say hi to sexual harassment panda! all: hi, sexual harassment panda. - did you know that when one little panda

pulls on another little panda's underwear, that's sexual harassment? that makes me a saaaaad panda. - this is freaking me out, dude. - and when one little panda puts his furry little willy in another panda's ear, that makes me a very sad panda. now, i'm going to pass out these booklets, and we're going to go through each and every sexual harassment law. [all groaning] article 36: section 19. "one panda may not make sexual comments "about another panda's appearance. if said panda..." - aw, dude, get me out of here. - i think sexual harassment panda is cool. - you would think that, you little ass-sucker. - what did you call me? - an ass-sucker. it means you suck ass. you see an ass, and you suck it. you're an ass-sucker. - that does it! i am suing you for sexual harassment! - uh-oh! - what? - you have sexually harassed me for the last time! it says right here that now i can sue you and take all of your money! - that's right, he can.