ning] - we...we lost? - what? what, i thought it was a free country. - dad. you're the greatest. - ♪ you're the best around ♪ ♪ nothing's gonna ever keep you down ♪ captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ you're the best around ♪ ♪ nothing's gonna ever keep you down... ♪ ♪ fight to the end 'cause your life will depend ♪ >> from the most trusted journalists at comedy central, it's america's only source for news! this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic!

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> desi: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm desi lydic. we've got so much to talk about tonight. everyone is debating about the debate, bob menendez has found a new way to get divorced, and you're not going to believe this, the south did something racist! but first, breaking news: donald trump is still on trial! let's get into it with another edition of b "america's most tremendously wanted." [applause] >> the whole thing is a scam. >> desi: day 18 of donald trump's porn star hush money trial was another star turn for michael cohen.

former trump fixer and all of long island distilled into one man. cohen is the linchpin of the government's case because his testimony directly ties trump to the falsification of business records, which, remember, is the actual crime here. the porn star hush money part is just a little thing we keep saying because it's fun. for the last few days trump's defense attorneys been doing their best to make cohen seem less credible than a boeing in-flight safety video, and i have a lot to work with. >> today's trumps defense pressed michael cohen, trump's former lawyer and fixer. the defense has also highlighted some of the various insults he has logged against trump over the years, painting him as a man out for revenge after their relationship fell apart. at one point, the defense played this clip from cohen's podcast in october of 2020. >> i truly [bleep] hope that this man ends up in prison. it won't bring back the year that i lost or the damage done to my family, but revenge is a

dish best served cold. you better believe i want this man to go down and brought inside for what he did to me and my family. >> desi: wow! that is an angry podcast. it must be hard to keep that level of anger when you also have to read podcast adds. "i'm hungry for vengeance... and also for one of blue aprons delicious home cooked meals!" [laughter] honestly, i feel bad for the jurors. as if jury duty isn't bad enough, now they have to listen to a dude's podcast? and who is michael cohen's podcast even for? to the people who hate trump not have enough content? is there some guy who is like "i'd love msnbc, but it's only on 24 hours a day." and if not just his podcast. trumps lawyers are dredging up all the nastiest things he's ever said about trump, and right in front of his face. >> you referred to

president trump as a boorish cartoon misogynist, didn't you, defense attorney todd blanche asked. it sounds like something i would say, he responded. a cheetah-dusted cartoon villain? that also sounds like something i said. >> you referred to president trump as dictator d bag, didn't you? cohen says "sounds like something i said." >> desi: trump is just sitting there while his own lawyer roasts him! and did you also call the president mr. bitch-tits? yes? how about resting ballsack face? that's a good one. commander-in-cheesedick, you never said that, but you could, is that true? i get the defense's argument that you can't trust michael cohen because he hates donald trump, but to be fair, everyone who's ever worked with donald trump hates donald trump. at some point you've got to be like "i think it's trump." let's change gears because trump is not the only politician on

trial right now. there's also bob menendez, new jersey senator and grown-up cabbage patch kid. [laughter] he's facing corruption charges, and now we know he's going with the borat defense. "my wife." >> lawyers for senator bob menendez trying to shift the blame for his alleged corruption onto his wife. >> and fbi search of the menendez home in englewood cliffs, new jersey, in june of 2022 turned up more than $480,000 in cash, along with gold bars. >> the menendez defense suggesting his wife nadine was responsible for the gold bars found in their home, saying they were in her closet. "he did not have a key to that closet and did not know of the gold bars in that closet," the defense attorney said buried >> desi: this is shocking... this tall blonde woman who lives in new jersey and has a locked closet full of gold bars is not a real housewife?

andy cohen, wake up! bob menendez's argument is that his wife was secretly orchestrating a corrupt international bribery scheme and hoarding gold bars in his own house, and he never knew it. and that, gentlemen, is why you need to ask your wife about her day. okay? [laughter and applause] ask your wife about her day! it's the little things. seriously though, the balls on this guy to throw his own wife under the bus. is anyone buying this? menendez's lawyers are actually arguing that his wife had the gold bars because she's of lebanese descent and the lebanese love gold. which is a stereotype did not not know even existed. like, doesn't every culture like gold? no one is ever like "i couldn't possibly accept your gold bars, my parents are canadian."

[laughter] let's turn to some news from the culture war. back in 2020, towns across america decided to take down confederate statues and monuments, because it was time to move on. while, now they've decided it's time to go back. >> two schools in virginia are getting new names. actually, they are old names. the names of confederate officers. shenandoah county school board is the first in the nation to revert to names from before the racial reckoning of 2020. >> mountain view high school will be renamed for confederate general stonewall jackson while honey run elementary school will bear the names of two confederate generals, robert e. lee and turner ashby. >> desi: guys, come on. after all that effort to remove that disgusting legacy, we're just putting the confederate names back now? it's like asking your doctor to reattach that hairy mole. [laughter] like i'm the only one who's ever

had a hairy mole! come on, you know you are out there! and if you're wondering who are the people who would support this type of move, well, they are exactly the people that you think it would be. >> tearing down statues and monuments and erasing history while indoctrinating children is exactly what adolf hitler did. >> whites are not racist, we have been pegged that we are just because we want our name back on the school. >> please do what is right for shenandoah county, restore our heritage, our history and our school names. >> desi: okay, let's be honest here, this isn't about restoring your heritage. if it was, then you would name it "hey, my cousin is kind of hot" high school. [laughter and applause] i can make that joke because i'm from kentucky and my cousin is kind of hot.

[laughter] we know what you really mean by this. but if you want to honor white people, why can't you at least pick white people that everybody likes? what about paul rudd high or dolly parton elementary? [cheers and applause] will even be happy with white people that are just meh. like how was graduating from justin long high? it was fine. it wasn't great, but it was fine. for more on the confederate name change we go live to stonewall jackson high school with josh johnson. [cheers and applause] josh, what is the mood out th there? >> desi, i've been talking to a lot of people who want to change the name back to the confederacy, and honestly, i think we should let them have it. >> desi: let them have it? >> i mean, have you seen the guys were arguing for the name change? look at them! a look like just lost the

civil war! like this morning! plus, if you are middle aged man trying to unrename your old high school, you don't have m much. [laughter and applause] these men are at school board meetings like "we've got to go back to the glory days when i won state! do you guys are member that? anybody? please remember that!" >> desi: but they have to accept that the culture has changed. >> yeah, sure, but the culture has changed whether they accept it or not. these people are living in a time where all the best musicians are black, all the best athletes are black. the only living president with a functioning brain is black. [cheers and applause] what black people do is literally called t "the culture"

the only place these guys feel like they're winning is the first half of the civil rights movie. >> desi: having a school named after a confederate general is racist! >> exactly! it's just racist enough. look, america is always going to have some baseline of racism. you just have to direct it towards stuff that doesn't really matter. if you keep them squabbling over school names, they're not going to have the energy to go march in charlottesville again. for example, while they were fighting over the black little mermaid, i was able to slip into a bank and get a mortgage. [laughter and cheering] >> desi: okay, so you are okay with stonewall jackson high? >> yeah. i mean "stonewall jackson" sounds pretty black anyway. like, if you didn't know history, you would think that he was the one who got all those snakes off that [bleep] plane.

>> desi: okay, so i guess going back to the old name is good! >> wow, desi... that's racist. >> desi: sorry. >> but just a little. the right amount. >> desi: okay! nice! good to know! josh johnson, everyone! [cheers and applause] when we come back, we will learn about joe biden's new exercise program, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] it makes no sense that some people forget lunch. at popeyes, we say go crispy. go bold. go memorable. we say let's bring lunch back. we don't make sense. we make chicken.

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." joe biden and donald trump shook up the presidential race yesterday by agreeing to two debates, which was pretty surprising. i mean, the only thing these two have ever agreed on is that eric trump is not their son. oh what was especially surprising was how quickly trump agreed to the debates, despite all of bidens stipulations. he jumped at the offer like it was a plea deal with no jail time. [laughter] and now some of trump's friends are concerned he may have been a little too eager. >> excluding trump from any input is beyond unfair, it is beyond insulting. the media mob and joe biden, they don't get to collude and choose radical

fighting-supporting hosts in the moderator's chair. that means no fake jake tapper. >> is this a trap for donald trump and dizzy walking right into it? >> how do you feel about it? i worry that it's a trap. >> desi: oh, come on! this isn't a trap for donald trump. a trap for donald trump be more like asking him to play "[bleep], marry, kill" with melania, ivanka, and jessica rabbit. and as worried as team trump might be about these debates, bidens friends might be even more worried. >> i have talked to some democrats who see a downside. can he actually win a debate with some some of the look donald trump? >> definitely some people in the biden camp that don't see -- that basically see this as more risky than not. >> i myself would never recommend going on stage with donald trump, but the president has decided that's what he wants to do. [laughter] >> desi: at listen,

mr. president. when you get advice from nancy pelosi, you take it. that's what i always tell my stockbroker. [laughter and applause] there's no way around it, these debates are going to be incredibly stressful for democrats. but maybe there's a way to use all that stress to your advantage... >> hey, guys, michael here today to introduce you to an all new killer workout routine called joe biden's build body better. the only full body workout that utilizes the stress of watching joe biden talk to get you looking good and most importantly, feeling great. >> and i don't want to -- i don't want to... i'm going to choose my words. >> and quench your ass. and release. the science is simple. the stress of watching him get through a sentence, the body engages its core, legs, back,

brain, which burns calories, tones or body and leaves you feeling totally and utterly exhausted. [bleep] sucks. >> really worried he's going to blow the election. >> clear my mind a little bit. >> this complete, 40 minute nonstop work out as an attack on your abs, legs, pecks, traps, tear ducts, lats, and lines. >> order the 4-dvd workout and we will throw in kamala's laughing. >> it's time to get jacked, j jack! >> desi: when we come back, nick offerman and helen rebanks will be joining me on the show, so don't go away! [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back d10! my guess tonight helps run her family farm in england. she has a new memoir called b12, and she has brought one of her farmhands tonight who you might know from other stuff. please welcome helen rebanks and nick offerman! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ have a seat! oh, my goodness! what a treat it is to have you both here end. >> thank you. >> desi: thank you for being here so much. nick, i think most people know

you from your brilliant comedic work. you just won your first emmy for "the last of us." [cheers and applause] because thank you. congrats. you played the president in "civil war and how on the side you are also a master woodworke? >> i'm an aspiring master woodworker, the masters i take classes from would bristle to here use describe me that way. >> desi: i doubt that, i think it is safe to say you are officially a renaissance man. >> i will take "competent." >> desi: we will settle for that. how did the two of you meet? out of this friendship get started? >> i guess social media kind of connected us initially. we are both huge fans of the writer wendell berry's work and when we were over in kentucky we did an event, my husband was

speaking with him in louisville public library and he connected with the work of wendell for a long time, sharing his work into stories about looking after the land and food and farming for a while and then you came to stay when you are in the u.k. working on a project. >> desi: so all of this started on social media? >> that's right. if you want good farming con content, you go to twitter. >> desi: and people go to twitter for other things... just check my mentions. i enjoyed your book so much. you really walk us through a day in your life, all of the daily work that you do, taking care of a family of six, your heard of sheepdogs, 50 chickens, 500 sheep read i can barely keep my kids goldfish alive. how much coffee and drugs do you have to take to get all of your work done? [laughter] that's my main question. >> oh, desi, it's a way of life

on a farm. this, to me, is the hard work. it like being on -- doing all the interviews, et cetera, it is totally different. i love it. i love it from morning until night. it's a completely sort of immersive thing to be on a farm. you respond to the weather, the livestock, the kids, whatever needs doing and i wrote the book to celebrate the people that do that daily kind of monday and work, really, but to me it's really important. >> desi: such important work and it really is a beautiful tribute to all of the invisible work that so many women do all over the world. nick, when you are acting and onset, people take really good care of you i assume at this point in your career. mr. offerman, can i hold your umbrella for you, what can i get you for breakfast? >> i am fully molly coddled, it's in my contract. >> desi: so when you went to do will work on helen's farm, was that a rude awakening? >> no, that's actually the strange thing that attracted me

to them and the subject matter. i grew up in a wonderful family and small town illinois. my mom and dad both grew up on farms a few miles to each side of where i grew up and they have these incredible work ethics and family values mom and so even though my life led me to show business and chicago and then los angeles, i still gravitate towards -- this is like my disneyland. i crave, can i just please go to the farm and do the dishes or help you shovel some sheep mark? for me, i just find that to be incredibly palliative. it's like reading a really good book where suddenly the way they live is like a work of art, and you can curate it and it never has to involve shopping for anything online or going to the mall, but instead it's just how good are your yorkshire puddings. suddenly i'm like why aren't we all living like this? >> desi: if you ever tried my yorkshire pudding you would know

it would be better to just shop online. there are so many incredible recipes in this book, what's your favorite recipe to cook? >> i think i like making something that's going to last us for a long time. i will cook up a big pot of like broth, like a ham talk. >> can we just stop and get me a sandwich real quick? >> desi: yeah, get a sandwich for nick. >> i'm going to pass out. >> something that's going to warm us up after a day of working outside. it's old-fashioned to talk about this kind of thing, isn't it? meals around the table, caring for each other and connecting and having conversations around a meal. but that's the good stuff to me. that's so important that we try and encourage our kids to learn how to cook, make things so they can survive out there in the world, and understand where it's grown and how it's grown, let's

ask the questions, the important questions of how we are looking after the planet that this food comes from. >> desi: has it changed the way that you have looked at food and what you choose to eat? >> absolutely. my fascination with agrarian material starting with wendell berry and the books of michael pollan and alice waters and many more are what led me to my life with them, and getting to help them with lambing and actually see lambs being born, reaching in and doing some assisting, we have a beef heard that i am an investor in. so it's the most gorgeous grass fed beef, and not only are these things delicious, but we are trying to -- >> desi: okay, now i need a sandwich. [laughter] >> we are striving to work against the modern idea that our problems can be solved with technology instead of just working in concert with

mother nature. so this grass fed beef is answering the question of how can we keep the soil the most healthy, holds the most carbon, all of these things work together to answer a lot of the questions that are plaguing us in modern civilization, and you get the most beautiful ribeyes at the end of the assignment. >> desi: what life is all about! it's a beautiful book, congratulations, and congratulations to you want everything. >> thank you. >> thank you so much. >> desi: i really enjoyed it, thank you for being on. "the farmer's wife" is available now, helen rebanks, and nick offerman! we are going to take a quick break and we will be right back. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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you can't leave without cuddles. but, you also can't leave covered in hair. with bounce pet, you can cuddle and brush that hair off. bounce, it's the sheet. >> desi: that's our show for tonight! now here it is... you're moment of zen. >> the senator be expelled? >> menendez, should he be expelled if he gets convicted? >> look, i'm really glad he's >> look, i'm really glad he's not a republican.

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