hey, babe. jerry: hello? hello? what is that? it's my new coat. you ditched the fur? yeah, i saw jerry wearing his. he looked like a bit of a dandy. check it out. eight ball. you got a question, you ask the eight ball. you're gonna wear this all the time? all signs point to yes! [♪♪] ♪ i'm on a mexican radio ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, ronny chieng! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

[cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm ronny chieng. we've got so much to talk about tonight. republicans are out for revenge, caitlin clark is getting bullied, and we found an inspiring story about how elon musk introduced a remote tribe to hardcore porn. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with the only presidential candidate with an ankle monitor, donald trump. last week, the corrupt and woke dei justice system found him guilty of 34 felonies, and now he's saying if he gets back into power, he's going to get his revenge on the people who had nothing to do with it. >> donald trump is again suggesting his political opponents could be jailed if he wins re-election, including

former secretary of state hillary clinton. >> does that mean the next president does it to them? that's really the question. wouldn't it be terrible to throw the president's wife and the former secretary of state into jail? it's very possible that it's going to have to happen to them. >> ronny: you're going to jail hillary clinton? haven't you done enough to this woman? yo, if you're going to get revenge, at least get it on people who did the thing to you. this is like the russian mob killing john wick's dog and john wick is like, "you know who's going to pay for this? hillary clinton." i mean, can donald trump get some new beefs already? you don't see britney spears still getting into fights with christina aguilera, do you? no! britney's at home, dancing with knives, like a normal person. but trump isn't in this fight alone. he's got a whole crew of brain-damaged friends standing up for him. like marjorie taylor greene, who is so mad at what the courts did here, that she wants to

defund new york! >> screw new york. new york doesn't deserve a damn penny. we shouldn't fund them one single dime, not a dime. they don't deserve a penny from the federal government. >> ronny: whoa, take it easy on new york, marjorie. you remember that space laser that you were worried about? the people who run it live here. it's kind of sad to watch a person slam new york when they clearly would make an amazing new yorker. mtg's whole speech is going to be repeated word-for-word by a homeless guy on the c-train at 3:00 a.m. tonight. but let's talk about a different trump ally who's saying unhinged things right now. his name is byron donalds, and if you didn't know him before, well, he's a cool guy with smart opinions. >> republican congressman byron donalds, widely considered a potential vp pick for donald trump, is facing backlash from democrats today after saying that black families were stronger during jim crow, before

they were influenced by democratic policies. >> during jim crow, the black family was together. during jim crow, more black people voted conservatively. >> ronny: why are all of trump's potential veep picks insane? i never thought i'd say this, but this might be time to take a second look at the dog murderer. and i know you're thinking, "how could a congressman think the jim crow era was good for black families?" but to be fair, he's a congressman from florida, and that's literally the title of their u.s. history textbooks. let's move on to some cultural news, because it's not just congressmen who have crazy opinions. it's also everyone. >> and now to a grocery cart controversy gaining a lot of traction online. a video posted by a woman who unapologetically said she never returns her shopping cart. >> i'm not returning my shopping cart. and you can judge me all you want.

>> california mom leslie dobson says she's afraid her children will be abducted while she's busy returning her cart. >> i'm not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart. so if you're going to give me a dirty look, [bleep] off. >> ronny: what do you mean, "[bleep] off?" [bleep] you! i didn't even want your kids, but now i feel like i got to take them because you're talking so much shit! [cheers and applause] look, lady, if you want to be lazy and not return your shopping cart, you don't have to use your kids as an excuse. just say you don't want to walk six feet. this is america, nobody walks six feet. if you're really that worried about your kids getting abducted, just take them with you to return the cart. or leave them in the car and lock the door. "boop boop." there, your kids are safe.

if you want to be extra, give them bad haircuts. now nobody wants your weird-looking kids. by the way, who are these kids that are so abductable, you can't walk ten steps away without every predator in america descending upon them? and if it's that easy to abduct kids in a parking lot, then what's the big deal? if your kids get stolen, just take the ones from the car next door. problem solved! but let's move on to some international news. because there are places deep in the amazon jungle where primitive tribes are untouched by the modern world. but luckily, elon musk is taking care of that. >> a reclusive tribe in the amazon finally got connected to the internet, only to wind up hooked on social media and porn. nine months ago, the marubo tribe got internet service for the first time, thanks to elon musk's starlink service. young men have been sharing porn videos on group chats while others have fallen victim to internet scams. >> people hunched over on their phones, typing away, sending voice notes, watching, you know, video clips. i saw two very young boys just, you know, swiping through video

after video of neymar junior. >> ronny: okay, haters, i think this is great. the internet opens up all of human knowledge to these people. they got online and were like, "wow, there is so much going on in the world! did you see this lady with the shopping cart? she doesn't want to walk six feet, let's go get her kids!" by the way, i'm so happy that people in the middle of the amazon get better internet than i get with spectrum. but of course there's one thing they discovered right away: porn. that's right, an untouched amazon civilization is now touching itself. for more on this remote tribe getting internet access, we go live to the amazon rainforest with troy iwata. [cheers and applause] all right, troy, hey, what's the situation over there? >> i'm sorry, i couldn't hear you over the sound of all the dengue fever. why do you keep sending me to

these places? you told me i was going to amazon. this is a rainforest! how am i supposed to return this slap chop? i checked this at the gate! >> ronny: okay, troy, shut up for a second. how has the internet impacted this remote tribe? >> it's an absolute tragedy. this was once a wonderful people with proud customs and traditions. now everyone is glued to their phones, they're falling for scams, the men have stopped hunting wild boars and are just hunting milfs. and you can't feed your family with milf meat! okay, it's too stringy. we have to take the internet away. i mean, can you imagine living in a society obsessed with their phones like this? >> ronny: uh, yeah. that's our society. so you're saying we should take the internet away from ourselves? >> [bleep] you, ronny! i'll kill you!

sorry, sorry, it's the dengue. it's just that i -- we need the internet! where else can i get a slap chop same day? a store? no! it's too late for us, ronny. we have no culture left to save, all we do is trade crypto and use chatgpt to write our birthday cards. "i love you, grandma." how does it do that? as humanity, we need one place untouched by the internet, besides every single goddamn elevator. this tribe is pure and o.g. human. we have to protect them, because they'll be the ones repopulating the world when the rest of us go to nuclear war over some bitch's shopping cart. >> ronny: yeah, but their sudden decline should be a lesson to all of us. the internet can take something pure and immediately corrupt it. maybe this tribe is a mirror of our own society, and we should all unplug for the good of humanity. >> okay, you first.

you give up the internet. >> ronny: [bleep] you, troy! i'll kill you! sorry, i just hit a million followers. >> well, half of those are fake, but i rest my case. we're a lost cause. so i am going to get the hell out of the amazon before we ruin these people too. i just ordered an uber, but it's five weeks away. there is an uber pool but it's like three minutes, but like, ugh. >> ronny: no, wait for the uber. troy iwata, everyone. when we come back, jordan klepper will declare a sports war. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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when that tostitos hint of lime flavor hits, it changes things. it takes your snack game up a notch. with a tangy, zesty crunch that's ready to dip. tostitos. get to the good stuff. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: welcome back to "the daily show." there's been a lot of sports news recently, so for some thoughtful, nuanced debate, we turn to "sports war." [rock music] >> announcer: it's time for "sports war"! brought to you by gambling! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> ronny: what's up, morons? i'm ronny chieng! >> and i'm jordan klepper! this is "sports war," the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other. for example, if i say ronny chieng doesn't suck... >> ronny: then i have to disagree with you, jordan. everyone knows i'm a bad son and a selfish lover. >> yes.

you left out that you're also rude to service workers. let's start with the biggest story in sports. the shove heard round the world. >> this physical moment involving the wnba's most high profile rookie raising questions. >> unnecessary. >> chicago's chennedy carter shoulder checking the fever's caitlin clark, knocking her to the ground. [whistle blowing] >> foul! [whistle blowing] throw the flag! send her to the hague! caitlin clark is clearly getting bullied. i'm sick of it. you can't just push people in sports. unless it's football, hockey, dude basketball, the little league world series, or being a drunk dad at the little league world series. >> ronny: i hope one of those dads shoves you into traffic, jordan, because you couldn't be more wrong. as a lifelong wnba fan since caitlin clark joined the league a few weeks ago, i can say with absolute certainty that that shove was barely a foul. hey, the wnba needs to get harder if they want me, their target demographic, to keep

watching. you hear that, wnba? just because you don't have a penis doesn't mean you can't get hard. just ask jordan. >> are you saying my penis is soft or non-existent? >> ronny: whichever hurts your feelings more. >> joke's on you, ronny. i'm dead inside. look, i relate to caitlin clark. a superstar at the top of her game surrounded by jealous peers? caitlin, i see you. i am you. and we're not going to let bottom feeders like ronny chieng push us around. which brings us to tonight's "j. klepp's can't-lose bet of the week" ♪ ♪ what's the source of ronny chieng's crippling inferiority complex? brought to you by gambling. gambling: you can only lose if you stop. >> ronny: okay, moving on from the greatest women's basketball player to the greatest men's basketball player's... son. >> bronny james, the son of nba superstar lebron james, will remain in the nba draft. his agent confirmed his decision

today. james will forgo his college eligibility after playing one season with usc. lebron and bronny james could be the first father and son duo to play at the same time in the nba. >> he's projected to be a second round pick, primarily because his father is lebron james. >> ronny: yo, bronny should not enter the nba at all. there's zero chance he can live up to the legacy of his father. go do something else, like being a tall dentist, or a tall architect, or a medium-sized world's tallest man. quit while you're not ahead. >> that's good advice, ronny, you should take it. of course bronny should join the nba. the children of great people are always great themselves. don jr., rfk jr., carl's junior. all great men. the only pressure here is on lebron. if his sperm can't produce a 12-time nba all-star who reinvigorates the "space jam" franchise, lebron is overrated! >> ronny: overrated, that's just what your mom said to me last

night. ha! >> so you made love to my mother... poorly? >> ronny: like i said, jordan, i'm a selfish lover. which brings us to ronny's slam dunk bet of the night. ♪ ♪ who will be a greater disappointment to their father, bronny james or jordan klepper? as always, brought to you by: gambling. gambling: it's like taking candy from a baby, but the candy is money. >> finally, we turn to the shocking retirement of a sports legend. >> well, he has won the nathan's hot dog eating contest six times, but takeru kobayashi is retiring from competitive eating. he says he has health concerns now he needs to tend to. he's 46 years old and says decades of overeating has left him with no appetite or sensation of fullness. >> holy shit! this guy can't tell when he's hungry or full? it sounds like his stomach just pulled a jerry mcguire on him. just grabbed the goldfish, said

"adios" to the kidney, and walked right out. it does not sound like it was worth it. >> ronny: this was absolutely worth it. he got to eat tons of hot dogs and now he has no appetite. it's like free ozempic. kobayashi's a legend! not to mention, he's asian! shout out, asians! >> asian athlete! [air horn sounds] >> ronny: i've only gotten to use that four times in my life. and shame on you, jordan, for not supporting the work of one of our great asian athletes. >> hey, you are wrong, ronny. i fully support his decision to step away from the game. which brings us to our double down bet of the night: ♪ ♪ which asian that hosts this program will retire next? brought to you by gambling. have you lost the ability to experience sensation? try gambling. see how worse it can get! well, we're out of time. >> ronny: well, i'm not retiring. >> it's too late. the fans have spoken. join us next time on "sports war." we'll be debating pickleball: better with guns? i think it is.

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people wanted to keep behind the curtain. >> i love my boyfriend so much. he is my soulmate. he is white, but on any given night, he does have a little bit of asian dna in him. hey-oh! he hates that joke! [laughter] >> ronny: please welcome joel kim booster! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ oh, my god, you are so good looking! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] first, the mandatory asians on tv. [cheers and applause] let's get into it. thanks for coming on the show, man. >> thanks for having me. >> ronny: dude, i have known you, you were in new york before i got here. and we were both comics running around new york but we were never, like, i feel like we never really -- we were orbiting but we never smashed. >> yeah, yeah. and technically still haven't.

[laughter] >> ronny: but you were in new york before me. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> ronny: you were in comedy. i remember you were always supercool to me when i first moved to america. you had me on your show in san francisco. that's where i first met you. >> i remember meeting you when you did my show too. you have this rotted personality and you ended up being the nicest person on the set and you were always so welcoming and the stuff i was talking about in that clip, you gave me actual good advice, which -- >> ronny: what did i tell you? >> you were like, "be funny." >> ronny: i told you that? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> ronny: that is so condescending for me to say. >> you said it pre the set. if you said it after the set, it would have been insulting. >> ronny: what was the context of that? >> i don't know. we were just shooting the shit. >> ronny: this documentary, that's the thing. comics, we love talking about comedy. we talk about it all day. and in this documentary, "outstanding" on netflix, is

kind of like a who's who of american -- not even only american. but gay -- >> global queer comics. i would say i am such a small part of that tapestry. the documentary is so cool, because it really shows you people whose -- who should be household names who were actually trailblazing and breaking down barriers and stuff like that so i could go out on stage and talk about dicks and [bleep] and stuff like that without losing my career. in fact, i've made a pretty lucrative career. [laughter] >> ronny: it is cool meeting your heroes, i guess? >> absolutely. part of the documentary, we did a huge show at the hollywood bowl. there were, like, 30 comics of truly every generation there. and it is great because i think especially when i was coming up, there would always be maybe one queer comic on the lineup and that was it. that is too much as it is. and so we rarely got to hang out on the same show. so it was really nice. it was a nice homecoming to

just all be together on the same show backstage, on stage. it was great. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: that is kind of how i feel whenever i see you in the lineup and if i am on the show as well. i'm always like, yeah, it is joel! we don't need to explain. there is a shorthand. just for the record, the comics who are in the documentary, on that show, so the documentary is about this big show they did at the greek theater in los angeles. some of those comics are my heroes too. >> we could go on all night. >> ronny: margaret cho, the o.g. >> talk about trailblazer. she is the reason i do what i do now today. bar none. i said in the clip, i want to talk about the stuff that people wanted to keep behind the curtain, and she was doing that at a time when it was actually risky to do that. and so yeah, she really is the person who opened the door for me.

>> ronny: sometimes it is hard to explain comedy to people. quoted in a recent "esquire" -- no, "hollywood reporter" article. i read all your press. you said the mission can't come first. it has to be comedy first. some of that is hard to explain to people. did you find it difficult in this documentary to talk about comedy versus just doing it? >> no, when you are in a doc, sitting behind a camera and being interviewed, it is not comedy. i think the biggest pet peeve -- the thing is, people of all political stripes across the political spectrum do this, when a stand up show turns into a ted talk, i'm out. like, where are the jokes? you can't just come out and say an opinion and expect applause and sometimes you get it but it is applause is not laughter. so you can't be mission-first. you always have to be thinking, at the end of the day, is it funny? >> ronny: yes. [cheers and applause] >> ronny: yeah, i agree completely. i think that is also how i feel so much kinship with you.

not just the asians, whatever, but as comedians. we are both out there, we are both trying to make it happen in weird bars in new york city. often times, i never really play this card a lot, but often times on the lineup, there is no other asians on that lineup. you just got to -- >> there is this weird assumption because we tick some of the same demographic check boxes that all of our material will be the same but you and i will never talk about the same things. [laughter] >> ronny: we could not be more different. >> as asian, as men, as any of it. we are not living the same lives. >> ronny: top, bottom. [laughter] joel, you are my brother in many ways. thank you for being so cool when i first came to america. >> thank you. >> ronny: you are killing it right now. i love everything you do, i always watch it. you are the best. joel kim booster. "outstanding: a comedy revolution" will be released on netflix june 18th. joel kim booster, everybody. we are going to take a quick break and we'll be back right after this. [cheers and applause]

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>> it is a happy weekend for yours truly. it is g squared. you know what g squared means? gummies and golf. nobody home! >> are you telling me you started out this segment by celebrating the fact that your wife and kids -- >> i've done it before in the middle of that summer, i got the whole house to myself, i can be blown away and hit the golf ball! captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪where ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ion ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪t ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪mumbling - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ark ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪♪

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