. - yeah, nobody wiped their butt on it, not even once. [chuckling] - we'll throw this out for you. thank you. thanks again. - ugh, damn it. - that sucks. they just stole our toilet paper. [chuckling] - well, i did wipe my butt on some of it, you know, if i'm gonna be honest. [chuckling] - we should, like, smear shaving cream everywhere to prank those buttholes. - yeah, good idea. yeah. [chuckling] um, where do we get shaving cream though? - uh, i know. [chuckling] - oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckling] [both chuckling] [rings doorbell] - this is gonna be cool. [both chuckling] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your hosts, desi lydic and jordan klepper!

[cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: welcome to "the daily show!" i'm jordan klepper. >> desi: and i'm desi lydic. >> jordan: we've missed you so much. what's it been, 24 hours? i barely recognize you at all. >> desi: that's because it's a different audience than last night. >> jordan: oh, my god, you're right. >> desi: nothing gets past me. we've got so much to talk about tonight. so let's get right into our continuing coverage of "indecision 2024." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jordan: let's kick things off with america's happiest felon, donald trump. he's ahead in the polls, but he's not resting on his laurels. he's at rallies talking about the issues that matter. >> the other day, i got very angry. some man called chris christie

fat. and i said, sir! and then he said he was a pig, and i said, sir! chris christie is not a fat pig. please remember this. a waitress came over, a beautiful waitress, and i never like talking about physical, she's beautiful inside. i don't even order bacon anymore. you know, bacon has gone up, like, five -- i said, it is too expensive, i don't want it. byron likes bacon. sleepy joe also declared that he wanted to test his skills and stamina against mine on the golf course. and i will even gives joe biden ten strokes a side. ten strokes, that's a lot. >> jordan: [laughs] joke's on you, donald trump. joe biden's already had ten strokes! but yes, if you missed donald trump's rally yesterday, he had very important things to say, like: biden sucks at golf, chris christie is fat, and once, i saw a hot waitress. > desi: i have to say, this was

the first time i've ever heard trump talk about a woman's "inner beauty." maybe he's maturing! either that or he thinks there's more boobs to find on the inside. of course, it wasn't all boobs and bacon -- which, coincidentally, is the title of my memoir coming out this christmas -- trump did touch on some important issues in a very dramatic way. and to be clear, we did not add this music. >> we are a nation where fentanyl and all other forms of illegal drugs are easier to get than groceries to feed our beautiful families and babies. mothers will never again be forced to watch their children overdosing in hosp-lee, and we will never allow mothers to watch their child hopelessly dying in their arms, screaming, "what can i do, what can i do? help me, god, what can i do?" >> desi: never thought i'd say this, but i miss him talking about the hot waitress. >> jordan: "help me, god, what

can i do?" i mean, what chilling words about the opioid crisis. which were slightly undercut by the crisis he moved on to in the very next sentence. >> "what can i do, what can i do? help me, god, what can i do?" we are a nation whose once revered airports are a dirty, crowded mess. you sit and wait for hours and then are notified that the plane won't leave, that they have no idea when they will. >> jordan: wow! wow, what a smooth transition from "there's blood in the streets" to "and why do i have to check my bag at the gate?" >> desi: "they're killing us with fentanyl, and i'm in boarding group 6?" now the reason why trump is having a blast on the campaign trail is because his opponent joe biden, whose poll numbers

are hovering somewhere between "uh-oh" and "oh, shit." but worry not, biden's team has a plan. tomorrow, he'll hold a press conference to show that he's fully in charge of all his faculties. unfortunately, their branding isn't helping. >> the next test is what the white house says will be some kind of a big boy press conference. >> he'll have a press conference, a big boy press conference. his big boy press conference. a big boy press conference. >> i guess, a big boy press conference is what we're calling it. >> desi: oh, my god, stop saying "big boy press conference!" it sounds like he's going to show everyone he can tie his own shoes. although, at this point, it would be reassuring to see him do that. >> jordan: but some democrats aren't waiting to see whether biden can get through his big boy presser without a binky. every day brings new lawmakers openly questioning whether biden should remain as the nominee, and today, one of the party's biggest names weighed in. >> nancy pelosi passed up a golden opportunity to say president biden should stay in the race.

>> does he have your support to be the head of the democrat ticket? >> as long as the president -- it's up to the president to decide if he is going to run. we're all encouraging him to make that decision because time is running short. he's beloved. he is respected, and people want him to make that decision. >> jordan: keep in mind, biden has said about 50 times that he's staying in the race. he's like, "i'm not going anywhere! the lord almighty couldn't get me out of this race!" and pelosi is going, "yup, great. just let us know when you decide. clock's ticking! tick tock." i mean, that's the same energy my mom had when i told her i was going into comedy. she still calls me up today, like, "have you made a decision about medical school yet?" by the way, it probably doesn't help that as she was speaking, i kept thinking, "man, i wish that biden could channel the youth and vigor of

nancy pelosi!" [laughter and applause] >> desi: but pelosi wasn't the biggest name to come out against biden today, because while she was gently nudging him out of the race, an even more powerful democrat was running him over with a steamroller. >> all right, this just in to cnn. a big democratic donor, george clooney, of course, the actor, has just called for president biden to step aside. the actor writes, "it's devastating to say it, but the joe biden i was with three weeks ago at the fundraiser was not the joe "big effing deal" biden of 2010. he wasn't even the joe biden of 2020. he was the same man we all witnessed at the debate." >> in short, clooney says, this is about age, nothing more. he adds, we are not going to win in november with this president. >> desi: yeah, you know you're in trouble when even danny ocean is saying, "we can't pull this

one off." [applause] >> jordan: of course, i will say, it's easy for him to say biden's too old. clooney doesn't age! he doesn't know what it's like for us mortals to slowly decline while he becomes more and more [bleep]able, just saltier and more peppery, the glint in his eyes glowing ever more brightly... >> desi: jordan, jordan! >> jordan: the smile, the supple lips -- >> desi: you're doing the clooney thing again. >> jordan: sorry, sorry. i'm doing the clooney thing again. >> desi: get it together. >> jordan: he is so beautiful. >> desi: keep it in your pants. the point is, clooney isn't just a random celebrity. he's a major fundraiser for the democratic party. last month, he helped raise $30 million dollars for joe biden. wait, while we're all distracted by this op-ed, who was watching the money? argh, it was a heist the whole time! clooney! [cheers and applause] >> jordan: clooney! such a clever, sexy, silver fox of a man...

>> jordan: stop it >> jordan: those lips, those lips you can just -- >> desi: stop it! >> jordan: he's a lot. you know what, it's important to remember that as of now, only eight house democrats have called on joe biden to step down. and the dissenters might get all the headlines, but there are hundreds of other democrats who are still with joe biden. but with a skeptical public, now is the time for them to make their case to the people. so let's hear their enthusiasm! what do you say, congressman jim clyburn? >> we are riding with biden. we are riding with biden. >> did anyone mention harris? >> we are riding with biden. >> was there a conversation about vice president -- >> we are riding with biden. >> was there a conversation about vice president kamala harris in there? >> we are riding with biden. >> jordan: okay, i wouldn't say that was enthusiasm i was hearing there. "i'm riding with biden" sounds like you're in a "thelma and louise" situation. >> desi: yeah, that's the same tone of voice you use when you

don't like the man your best friend is marrying, but you're a bridesmaid, so... congratulations, becky and mark. he hit on me at the rehearsal dinner, but mark's our man. mark's our man. we don't talk anymore. >> jordan: okay, all right, maybe we don't need enthusiasm. we just need an argument! a good, strong argument for supporting him as the nominee. sell us on him! >> you know, if president biden declines to leave voluntarily, then we have no choice but to, you know, support him as our nominee. >> i am fully behind him as our nominee until he's not our nominee. >> desi: okay, again, less an argument and more a statement of fact. it's like if your mother-in-law asks if you like the dinner she made and you say, "you made a dinner. and it was food. and i will eat the food until there is other food." >> jordan: come on!

if trump is an existential threat to democracy, and you're not making the case for biden to drop out, then you've got to explain why you support keeping him! go! >> do you support keeping biden as your nominee? >> no comment. >> do you support keeping biden at the top of the ticket? >> no comment. >> do you think biden should stay here as your nominee? >> i love that tie. >> jordan: [laughs] i love that tie. do you mind if i hang myself with it instead of answering your question? actually, i wonder what it was he liked about that tie. can we have another angle on that? oh, that makes sense. democrats, listen, we're not going to sit here and tell you what to do, but whatever you do, actually do it! this indecisive waffling only makes you look like you don't have the courage of your convictions. either tell joe that he needs to go, or stand by him and really make the case for him. >> desi: or don't! spend the next four months

running around, saying, "i don't know, i don't know!" but when november comes, the only thing you're going to be saying is this: >> what can i do, what can i do? help me, god, what can i do? [cheers and applause] >> jordan: when we come back, ronny chieng discovers one of trump's incredible success stories. stay tuned.

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[cheers and applause] >> desi: welcome back to "the daily show." next week, donald trump will accept the republican nomination for a second term in wisconsin. but while he's in the state, there's one town he may want to avoid. ronny chieng tells us why. >> trump's promise in 2016 to bring back manufacturing jobs was a major up here in the upper midwest. enter in trump's first year in office, the artist of deals delivered them. >> fox con in southeast wisconsin. >> fox on its opening his first major u.s. factory in wisconsin, investing $10 billion of their own money to do so. >> that's right, foxconn, the taiwan-based company that is good at making iphones and great at making the employees jump off buildings. foxconn deal in mount pleasant

was as golden as their troubles trump brought to the groundbreaking. >> i think we can say this is the eighth wonder of the world. >> so to learn more about this eighth wonder of the world, i spoke with alan young, the business seniors responsible for bringing foxconn to wisconn-sin. >> love big business, love great businessman, you brought manufacturing to mount pleasant. what do you love most about wisconsin? the cheese or the high rate of alcoholism? >> it turns out wisconsin is to our benefit was the right choice. the ambition really was to create what we call wisconn valley, the ten billion-dollar project slated to create up to 13,000 jobs. >> all right! high tech job creation. local country bumpkin kelly gallagher mocks being static! >> foxconn came to town, they promised us the world, then [bleep] us because our village officials are morons. >> look, lady, i came here to do

a field puff piece about because corporation's grading jobs for farmers or whatever. are you telling me that is not happening? >> they promised us 13,000 jobs and a $10 million investment. we got a few hundred crappy jobs. we bulldozed 100 homes, move people out, used eminent domaint for a few buildings that foxconn has put there, it is basically empty. >> well, you can't fault foxconn for putting money into this town and trying to make something happen. >> but they didn't put money in on it. unfortunately, the village of mount pleasant decided, instead of making foxconn buy the land they wanted for their factory, higher part-time village trustees, they said, we will do it for you. we borrowed nearly $1 billion. >> so a bunch of village idiots borrowed a billion dollars to get foxconn to come here? foxconn comes in and goes, hey, we can give you guys, i take you

out of the farms. >> we like our farms. >> what was foxconn promising to build? >> first, they said they were going to build large screen lcd tvs. >> amazing. i love those. >> a few weeks later, they changed it, that they were going to build small lcd screens, the kind that you get in a car. >> that's cool. i love those too. i love all screens. >> then he announced they were going to build coffee robots. >> okay, but you know what, who doesn't like coffee? >> that didn't happen either. right now, nobody knows what they do inside that building. >> okay. >> it is 3,000 square acres of land. do you know how much 3,000 square acres of land as? >> of course not. i am not a dumb farmer. >> you should really go check it out. >> fine, i will. >> this simple villager was not making any sense. alan and foxconn assured the residence of mount pleasant that they would be bringing it to their barren farmland but instead, all foxconn built was a

bunch of roads to nowhere. two empty warehouses, and a lame disco ball in the middle of an empty field? [bleep] hell. i needed answers. >> where the hell is everybody? i was told there was 13,000 jobs. just wondering, where are the jobs at? the jobs? 13,000 jobs? >> this can't be right. even if there aren't any jobs or products or transparency, surely, foxconn has a plan. >> i would say that over the past few years, everybody learned a few lessons. i think the story line is happening, the story is a good one. it really is trailblazing and making pioneering decisions even though it might not make sense. >> if it all makes absolute no sense. >> [laughs] okay, absolutely no sense. i think we are in chapter two or chapter three of the whole thing. >> chapter 11 of this thing. >> we are going to get there. the outcome was job creation. you really shouldn't care if you build potato chips or microchips.

>> potato chips or microchips, who cares, just make something, that is what people want, for foxconn to make something in the factory. >> it takes a village. >> it takes a village to build a factory that makes nothing. >> [laughs] you got me there. >> alan did a great job assuring me the very thin line between genius business plan and scam. >> i think i see why you are so upset. you got catfish to. do you know what catfishing is? >> yes, i do. >> who benefits -- why did i do this, if it is so bad for everybody, why did this happen? >> it was really donald trump. >> here we go again. >> it is the largest failed obloquy funded economic development project in wisconsin history, possibly in u.s. history. >> they could come wisconsin! >> in true trump fashion, he made a promise, never delivered, and left someone else holding the bag. was there a way to turn this around? >> breaking news, microsoft could be coming to mount pleasant. >> this is a big lead not for the village.

>> microsoft came to town and they announced at $3.3 billion investment project, and 2,000 full-time jobs. >> 2,000 is quite a step down from 13,000. speak about those 13,000 jobs were never real. >> what are you even making there? >> it is going to be nai data center. >> if it is an ai center, it will take jobs, they will replace workers, and up with less jobs than before. >> well, it is better than nothing. >> actually, no, because no jobs are zero. there will be negative jobs because it will be taking other people's jobs. >> all i know is that these are 2,000 real jobs. >> goddamn damn villagers on your jobs. you talk about anything else? >> and business, not anything turns out the way you want to do but take him with a little ingenuity and some american can-do spirit, you too can turn 13,000 jobs into 2,000, and put your whole village into debt. good job. [cheers and applause] >> jordan: thank you, ronny. when we come back, elizabeth dias and lisa lerer will talk about the future of abortion in america.

so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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>> desi: oh, my goodness. thank you so much for being on the show. we enjoyed your book very much and also were thoroughly horrified by all of it, obviously. but so many americans felt kind of blindsided when roe v. wade was overturned, and yet you walk us through every step of the way. this was not an overnight shocking decision. this was decades in the making. walk us through some of that. >> you mean the secret plan to overturn roe v. wade overturn roe v. wade? >> desi: yes. >> there was one. for 50 years, the antiabortion movement tried so hard. they made it their life's work, generational commitment, to try to overturn roe. this was a moral commitment for them, for them, the greatest moral calling of their lives. and they were not successful until about ten years ago,

something changed. and we have taken to calling it, this was the last decade, the final decade of the roe era of american life. they had new tactics, new strategies, and they really radicalized along with the republican party, and did what many americans that was unimaginable, which was overturning roe v. wade. >> jordan: this book talks about the successes of the activists. a lot of them are the grassroots activists on the right. what were the failings of the left in this fight? >> you know, look, there was this profound sense of denial across the left. in some ways, that is reasonable. it is really hard to believe that this right that people had for generations could suddenly just vanish. and because of that, democrats, they would always go out, democratic candidates and warn about threats to roe or roe could fall and people just didn't believe them. and so it is hard to see and prevent something that you don't think is happening, right? and then, of course, they got very, very unlucky. trump won and he got three appointments to the supreme court, unheard of since ronald reagan.

there becomes a turning point where the march to end roe effectively becomes unstoppable for democrats and the abortion rights activists. >> desi: where do we go from here? i mean, are women going to have to run for president and have presidential immunity in order to legally have an abortion? [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> it is worth pointing out that many of the most prominent figures in the antiabortion movement is women. there is a strategy to put women at the front of the movement. i've asked a lot of abortion rights activist that very question. what happens now? it took 50 years for roe to fall. how many years does it take for it to return? nobody knows. there is no magic wand. president biden talks about restoring roe. there is no way to do it without a margin in the senate that feels almost impossible unless they overturned the filibuster and then all agree on what that looks like, which, as we know about the senate, that is an extremely high bar to clear.

so there is no easy answer here. there is not some thing that can snap back in place and roe returns. i think the country is in for many more decades of wrangling over this issue. >> desi: we so appreciate all of the work you are doing and you being on here tonight. we are still hopeful that your next book, "the rerise of roe." [cheers and applause] >> jordan: get the sequel going. >> desi: thank you so much for being here. "the fall of roe" is available now. elizabeth dias and lisa lerer. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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now here it is, your "moment of zen." >> do you think you should run for reelection? >> i am not -- >> am i speaking english to you? i'm not making any statements about anything right now. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ - ♪ mtv ♪ [rock music] ♪ ♪ - welcome, fellow human beings, to my meditation class, mm-kay, whether you're a meditation expert or just here as a school-mandated alternative to detention. - this sucks. - yeah, really. can we just go to detention? - now, everyone, concentrate on your mantra, mm-kay?

om. students: om. - uh. - um. - very good, beavis and butt-head, very good. now, try to empty your minds of all thought. - uh. - uh, what? - it sounds easy, but some say only the buddha himself was able to completely empty his mind and achieve enlightenment. now, let's begin while i set the mood with these tibetan singing bowls i bought at cost plus world market. [bowl ringing] - okay, clear your mind. clear your mind. - don't think. wait, where did i park? - uh.

- huh. hmm. - adam just doesn't get me. - no thoughts. wait, that is a thought. [ringing continues] [ethereal music] - huh? - uh, whoa. i think we, like, left our bodies or something. - oh. cool. my body sucked. - yeah, mine too. it never scored. [chuckles] - um, where are we going? [chuckles] - uh, i don't care. - lil nas x, i sentence you to five years in montero state prison. [gavel bangs] [dramatic music] - daytrip took it to ten. ♪ baby back, ay ♪ ♪ couple racks, ay ♪ [beavis] whoa.