no, i'm talking about spanking my monkey. yeah. [snickers] make a great day even better. yeah. ♪ dun dun dun dun ♪ ♪ ba ba ba bow ♪ [snickers] okay. just gonna sit down here. go ahead and pull down my pants. [zipper slides] [chuckles] [grunts] it's not easy 'cause my hands have all these needles. [grunts] it's tricky. [snickering] and here we go. [flesh squishes] ahh! my schlong! ahhhh! there's needles in my schlong! dahh! butt-head! butt-head, help! i-i mean, no, wait. don't come in here. - that kid is a dumbass. - no! no! [rock music] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from the most trusted journalists at comedy central... it's america's only source for news. this is "the daily show" with your host, michael kosta! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> michael: yes, yes! welcome to "the daily show!" i'm michael kosta. we've got so much to talk about tonight. kamala harris and tim walz, hard launch. conservative are furious about tampons. and charlamagne tha god is here to talk about kamala's race. spoiler alert: she's black! so let's get into it with another edition of "indecision 2024." [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ yesterday, kamala harris announced her vice presidential pick is tim walz, minnesota governor and guy who just found a quarter behind your ear. and last night, she took her shiny new running mate out for a spin at a rally in philly. >> violent crime was up under donald trump. that's not even counting the crimes he committed.

so say it with me, we aren't going back. [crowd chants "we aren't going back"] we aren't going back! in minnesota, we respect our neighbors and their personal choices that they make. [cheers and applause] even if we wouldn't make the same choice for ourselves, there is a golden rule -- mind your own damn business. [cheers and applause] >> michael: whoa! whoa! a minnesotan saying "damn?" that's spicy! but if you watched this rally, it's clear that democrats are in a much happier place than they were a few weeks ago. they're like, "why do my hands keep banging together like a seal? are the corners of my mouth going up? why? am i sick?" even i felt it, and i'm dead inside! and part of this is that tim walz creates excitement because he's a new main character. it's like when you've had the same mailman for 20 years and then a new guy comes around, and you're like, "you know, this

time, i'm going to learn this guy's name." what can i say, i'm a good person. the point is, this energy is great for democrats, and terrible for republicans. which is why they spent all day finding an angle of attack on tim walz. and i'm open to hearing it. i don't want to be partisan. so republicans, i'd like to hear a serious critique from one of your sharpest minds. >> let's bring in scott shellady this morning. what do you think of walz as the vice presidential pick, scott? [laughter] >> michael: i'm going to guess this guy's response is... "moo?" you know what? let's give him a chance. let's give him a chance. he might have a very valid critique of tim walz's policies. let's hear him out. >> what do you think of walz as the vice presidential pick, scott? >> look, stuart, he's not a serious candidate. >> michael: oh, really? not serious, huh? i agree.

i hate having to listen to unserious people. it really pulls my udders. here's a rule of thumb: you're not allowed to talk about being serious if you have to milk your clothes before putting them on. now to be fair, there are real policy issues republicans have been hitting walz on, like helping undocumented immigrants get health care, and his reaction to the george floyd protests. but they just can't resist a story like this. >> he supports putting tampons in the boys' bathrooms for kids as young as the fourth grade. >> he says republicans are weird, yet this is the governor who put tampons in the boys' bathroom. >> a nickname for him is tampon tim. >> tampon tim. >> we need to introduce tampon tim to the world. >> michael: tampon tim? tampon tim? that sounds like a fictional character parents tell their daughter about when she gets her first period. "look what tampon tim left under

the sink, honey! super plus overnights! you've got your mom's flow and we couldn't be prouder!" but basically, what happened is that walz passed a law that put free tampons in all public school bathrooms, including boys. with all due respect to tampon tim, i really just don't care about this. best case scenario, a trans kid gets tampons. worst case, the weird kid in class puts them in his nose and pretends he's a walrus. which is also best case scenario. personally, as someone who was a 13-year-old boy, it doesn't matter what you put in that bathroom, whatever it is, they're going to draw a penis on it, rip it off the wall, and try to flush it down the toilet. it's either that or go to geography and i'm not going to waste my time with that. anyway, tim walz, the governor of minnesota, which is the capital of alaska, doesn't seem to be overtly problematic. which is why republicans are accusing him of hiding

something. >> this is a guy who hides behind his flannel jacket. but he's actually a wolf in sheep's clothing who cannot be trusted. >> a progressive in sheep's clothing. >> governor walz is a socialist in sheep's clothing. >> he's a freak in sheep's clothing. >> michael: "he's a freak in sheep's clothing!" that's ridiculous. not like cow's clothing, that's normal. but a sheep? what a freak. [cheers and applause] yeah, i know, it's so good. by the way, isn't sheep's clothing just, like, a wool sweater? i love wearing sheep's clothing in the fall! i can make so many more cute outfits. senior portraits, huh? huron high '98. but yes, tim walz may be a former football coach, a hunter, and guy who looks like he has his own homemade dry rub. but republicans are saying, "don't be fooled by the moderate vibes. tim walz is a secret communist."

and nobody is more on board with this line of attack than donald trump himself. >> he's a very, very liberal man, if you want to know the truth. he's probably about the same as bernie sanders. he's probably more so than bernie sanders. she is more so than bernie sanders. there's never been a ticket like this. this is a ticket that would want this country go -- to go communist immediately, if not sooner. >> michael: "immediately, if not sooner?" there is no sooner. that's what makes it immediately! if you tell someone you want something sooner than immediately, they're going to be late, because they're going to waste time thinking, "what kind of idiot says "immediately, if not sooner?" [cheers and applause] by the way, when joe biden rambled like this, we all were like, "this man is obviously senile!" but now that he's dropped out,

it's becoming more obvious that trump's brain isn't exactly in great shape either. he should get that looked at immediately, if not sooner. [cheers and applause] for more on the republican reaction to walz, we go live to troy iwata. [cheers and applause] troy, it seems like republicans are still trying to figure out how to attack tim walz. >> no, i think they figured it out. tim walz is a communist sheep. a radical left wing marxist socialist who is also a sheep. >> michael: so republicans think kamala should've picked a more moderate vp, like josh shapiro? >> no, he's also a communist. a marxist communist kosher sheep. he's exactly the type of socialist that democrats love to pick, instead of blue-collar heartland people like tim walz. >> michael: but they did pick tim walz.

>> i know, it was a big mistake picking that marxist socialist. >> michael: troy, i'm sensing a pattern here. it seems like republicans just label every democrat as a communist. i mean, what if her vp pick was captain america? >> the guy who fought hitler, like joseph stalin? sounds like a communist to me. >> michael: what about mr. peanut? >> okay, every peanut is the same. same shape, same color, same taste. communist. >> michael: what about the geico gecko? >> anyone that sells insurance is a communist. it's a shared risk. the gecko, jake from state farm, limu emu and doug -- all communists. and don't even get me started on flo from progressive. she's progressive and her name is flo? she is definitely putting tampons in boys' bathrooms. [cheers and applause] >> michael: what about peppa pig?

what about peppa pig? >> that pig in a red dress who teaches kids about sharing? that's a communist. >> michael: uncle sam? >> you know who sam is the uncle to? mao zedong. >> michael: come on. >> look it up! it's on my substack. >> michael: troy, aren't these attacks getting old? republicans do this for every democratic candidate. can't they find something new to say? >> it's not the republicans' fault that everyone who doesn't agree with them in all of history has been a communist, michael. if they picked a normal person, republicans would call them normal. >> michael: okay, here. what if the dems say their vp is donald trump? >> donald trump? you mean commie donny? free money during covid? best buds with putin? married to an eastern european? >> michael: troy, come on. not everyone is a communist. what about you and me? >> wake up, kosta! you and me work at commie-dy central. [cheers and applause]

>> michael: no! i'm not a communist! >> you're not? neither am i, comrade. vink vink. >> michael: troy iwata, everybody. [cheers and applause] when we come back, charlamagne the god is joining us. so don't go away. so don't go away. [cheers and applaus ♪♪ propel is made to help you keep moving with gatorade electrolytes in every drop. ♪♪

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>> michael: welcome back to "the daily show." we all know i've got great opinions, but i'm not the only one. studies show that other people also have opinions, so here with another installment of "in my opinion" is our good friend, charlamagne tha god. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> hey, now, if you've been following the presidential election, you've probably heard the news that there's a dei candidate in the race. that's right! those identity-obsessed democrats picked someone just because of their race and gender. >> tim walz was a balancing choice for her. he's white. he's male. >> we do know they wanted to get a white male on the ticket, so he's going to be that one. >> here is a really important one. he's an old white dude. >> yes! yes, yes, yes. yes. thanks to affirmative action, there is an old white guy on the

democratic ticket for the first time in about 17 days. i'm glad white men are finally getting their moment in the sun. just make sure to wear enough spf. nah, you all know what's really going on. according to republicans, tim walz isn't the dei hire. because to them, every letter in dei actually stands for the same thing: black, black, black. which means the real dei candidate is kamala harris. >> she's a diversity hire. >> of course she's a dei hire. >> 100% she was a dei hire. >> an incompetent diversity hire. >> this woman, this disaster, whose only quote "qualification" is having a vagina and the right skin color. [audience reacts] >> [laughs] that's right. having dark skin and a vagina is an instant path to the oval office. if you don't believe me, take it up with ronald reagan's black pussy. [laughter and cheering]

listen, man. this argument is so stupid to me. if being a woman or a minority was the golden ticket to getting ahead in politics, then president andrew yang would have already done universal basic income, and president kanye west would have already changed the national anthem to "gold digger." okay? i mean, i've looked at pictures of the last 46 presidents, and it sure seems like there's one identity in particular that gives you a leg up: [whispers] white man! [speaks in normal voice] i'm just saying, donald trump would not have gotten the job if his first name was "donnell." he'd be evicting himself from his own apartments before his career could begin. [cheers and applause] but for the sake of argument, let's suppose kamala was given a chance because of her identity. she still had to do something with it on her own. and kamala has done a great job as vice president. remember that one big thing she did? me neither. and that's exactly what you want in a vp. someone who doesn't make the

news! a vp is like a carbon monoxide detector. you want to have one, but if it makes any noise, something's gone wrong. [cheers and applause] in fact, the last time i remember a vice president doing anything that made the news, it was this. >> vice president dick cheney apparently broke the number one rule of hunting this weekend when he accidentally shot a friend in the face. [laughter and applause] >> yeah, "accidentally." just like he "accidentally" invaded the wrong country after 9/11. now that i think about it, dick cheney made the news a lot. don't be like dick cheney. and this is yet another weird thing about republicans. they always say that liberals are obsessed with race, but they're the ones who can't stop

thinking about it. they had a blank slate to build a narrative around kamala harris, and they immediately went 1860 on us, because they got black on the brain. and republicans aren't only saying kamala is too black. they're also saying she's not black enough. >> early in her career, she identified as south asian. now she is considered an african-american woman. >> is she black? is she indian? nobody knows. >> kamala's indian, black heritage, or whatever it is she wants to be today. >> one year, she's black. the next year, she's of south asian descent. >> she was indian all the way and then all of a sudden, she made a turn and she went, she became a black person. >> just to be clear -- >> i don't know if you know this or not, but you can be both. [cheers and applause] and i don't want to break your brains, but two isn't even the

most races a person can be. bruno mars is the most races a person can be. and we know what's going on here. all of these attacks are to paint kamala as just one big phony. >> going to georgia two days ago and putting on a fake southern accent when you were raised in canada. >> whoa. so wait, she's faking being black and she's canadian? well, that's the worst thing you can call somebody this year: drake. [laughter and applause] it's been a rough year for drake. and if i were a white republican, i'd be a little worried about democrats flipping this on me. if republicans are appointing themselves the black police, dems could become the white police. because not all whites are maga whites. you got kombucha whites, you got cargo short whites, you got stanley cup whites -- both kinds of stanley cup: hockey and beverage. you've even got whatever kind of

white jojo siwa is. [laughter] white people around the country watched that clip like, "she not like us, she not like us." but honestly, i'm not even mad at republicans for bringing up kamala's race. they've got a job to do, and they're doing it the only way they know how. the real bullshit is the media for hearing the republican talking points and treating it like it's a real story. >> the vice president's racial identity has been in the news. >> identity, heritage is newly injected into the race. >> why is former president trump questioning the vice president's racial identity? >> talk about racial identity dominated the headlines. >> the claims about vice president harris's identity will probably make the most headlines. >> what do you mean these claims "will make" the most headlines? cnn, msnbc, abc: you're the ones who decide what the headlines

are! [cheers and applause] these issues don't make headlines unless you put it in the headline! and none of these issues should be a headline! if a guy came up to me on the street saying, "the vice president is a chameleon! she can transform from indian to black. i seen't it!" i'd be like, "well, god bless you, sir, here's $2. i got to go." okay? all right. media, if you need headlines, it's not like it's a shortage of important issues in this election. you've got immigration, the economy, reproductive rights, the best place to dispose of a road-kill bear cub. those are things that we need to be talking about! okay? or maybe spend some time looking at how the g.o.p. is already planning on how to steal the election by having corrupt state officials refuse to certify the results, getting corrupt judges to back them up, before the whole thing goes to the corrupt supreme court that's already anointed donald trump a king, so now they can overturn the

results of the election to declare him the winner in exchange for a new rv. [cheers and applause] but hey, man, what do i know? that's just my opinion. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> michael: charlamagne tha god, everybody! when we come back, barbara mcquade will be joining me on the show. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] ♪ “billathi askara” by björn jason lindh ♪ [metal creaking] [camera zooming] ♪ [window slamming] woman: [gasps] [dog barking] ♪

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disinformation is sabotaging america." please welcome barbara mcquade! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right! nice. look at this. look at this. there is a fist on the cover coming out of the center of america and i am like, is that where the attack is coming? is it nebraska right there? >> no, but it is a white, right-handed fist. that is where the attack is coming from. >> michael: where are we in the disinformation in america? what does that mean? what is misinformation, what is disinformation? >> disinformation is the deliberate use of lies to manipulate people and advance an agenda. misinformation is kind of its unwitting cousin. we hear something, we think it is true, but it's a lie, and we amplify the claim exponentially. >> michael: disinformation is done on purpose.

misinformation is a family member facebook scrolling, repeating something they saw. >> exactly. [laughs] >> michael: from within. is this the problem in america now? is it coming from within? as you say in the book, is the call coming from when inside the house? >> i think it is. i spent my career as a federal prosecutor, prosecuting national security cases. i teach a course on national security law at michigan law school. and historically, we have thought about information warfare and propaganda as coming from outside our borders, from hostile foreign adversaries. but now we are seeing it, i think, as a political tactic within our own country. so these attacks that we hear about kamala harris being a dei hire. or that she recently happened to become black. these are deliberate efforts to stoke division in society. >> michael: what are some of the other tactics? because, man, as a consumer of news and media, i should know is what these are. >> absolutely. one of them is this idea of

declinism. society is going downhill. everything is awful. cities in ruins. american carnage. >> michael: you sound like a trump speech right now. >> these are some of the same tactics that hitler talked about in "mein kampf" and used in nazi germany in the 1930s. and in fact, if you look at the data, crime rates are down, the economy is up. all of the indicators are on the upswing and yet if we can talk about the society as being down, then it allows us to say, these extreme times call for extreme measures. and people believe these things. it allows scapegoating of other people in society and demonization of others. >> michael: what can we do in a bigger sense? what can we do as a country? >> there are a number of things we can do in terms of reforms. social media certainly is a place where lots of disinformation is spewed. we have power like we have never had before. and i think there are regulations that we can take that could help stem the tide. sometimes when i say that, i hear, "you want to censor america! you hate the first amendment!"

and the answer is no. i'm a big advocate for the first amendment and free speech. but i think if we look at process over content, we can find ways to have some common sense reforms. so for example, the algorithms that are deliberately designed to stroke outrage, because that keeps us online and that sells more ads, and that is more money for the platforms. i think if we could control the way our private data is taken, so that we could be micro-targeted, that is something that we could regulate. >> michael: i say, every 3-4 years, americans should have to get the media literacy license and there is some required reading. thank you for writing this book. it's a great book. [cheers and applause] "attack from within" is available now and check out her podcast, #sistersinlaw. barbara mcquade. we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. thank you very much. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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trashing that community. come on! and i got to tell you, i can't wait to debate the guy. that is, if he is willing to get off the couch and show up. you see what i did there? - ♪ mtv ♪ [both chuckling] [bluesy rock music] ♪ ♪ - butt-head, it's my turn to ride the scooter. - we don't take turns, beavis. we're not girls. - oh, yeah, i forgot. taking turns sucks. - check it out, beavis. those dudes have beers. let's go party with them. - i don't know, butt-head. i think you have to be, like, an american or something

to go in there. - uh, don't worry, dumbass. we can blend in. - hold on there, boys. this here's the legion hall, and we're having a special get-together for flag day. service members only. - uh, we're members. - yeah, yeah, we're from america. - well, i'm glad to hear it, but i'm talking about people who laid it all on the line for this great country. were you in the service? - uh, yeah. we did, like, service. - thank you, drive through. would you like the combo for a dollar more? - you boys wore the uniform? - yeah, we had to wear a uniform. there was a hat and everything. - it was, like, a long time ago, but i remember that the training sucked, and it was always hot, and you never knew when a bunch of guys would be all on your ass. - yeah, there was one time when the shake machine--