from saigon long been bearcat.

the name could play like a july blue card. ben rang and camron bay in

vietnam ran one way island and clark field in the philippine run the uss ranger and the uss coral sea on yankee station in the gulf of tonkin and from oh dawn berkeley on not gone from bangkok, thailand thailand. a bob hope christmas special starring. raquel welch barbara mcnair, elaine dunn, madelaine hartog. bell, miss world bill. ernie wilson, that les brown and his band of renown.

we knew it was going to be an unusual trip right from the start. les brown was on time at 1005. it was wheels up and out across the pacific 8000 miles to taylor. our first stop was where the men of the age tactic of fighter wing and double as you can see these are dedicated men. you can also see what their to. we didn't have to worry about the sense of humor here. look at this time from one lonely guy who's headed for home in 76 days. hey, y'all. now d all you, all you pooches. what that means for the plate.

very big at the bat house. great to be back here at oban. real air thought thai air base, the gateway to oban rapture, tiny. got a word or a booby trap? our wolf pack, the world's largest distributor of, mega parts. he is the base, has a wonderful location right. laos and cambodia. two of our stronger allies. in the back there with the go to hell hats are from the australian air force. they're the guys who go around putting kangaroo stencils on everything. i woke up this morning with a pouch on my pouch. i must say the ties. probably the most polite people in the world.

when they greet you, they bound put their hands like this. i'm glad somebody finally explained that to me. i thought they were praying for act. we've been invited to do another command performance at the palace again and i think it's wonderful. this is the fourth time the king has invited us. he keeps hoping we'll bring back the towels and bangkok is less brown's favorite city. no wonder. where else can you be knighted for playing the saxophone. the average thai is 365 pounds of rice a year. same as the white house. by the way, the president told me that to give you your best. just had the wedding. then he told me to give you this farm. you over here more rice, huh. at the close of our two and a half hour show mission pilot, lieutenant fred mccoy of sheboygan, wisconsin presented us with a gift for.

a great entertainer who couldn't be with us this year and whom we all miss very much. jerry cologne. no time for loitering. two a day today. let's zoom to utah, where even the republicans turned out to greet us. what an audience and what a welcome they gave to the most beautiful girl in the world. the new miss. madeline hartong, peru. welcome to miss vale. and ring a ding, ding. you see, madeleine, that's a hip expression, meaning you don't

have to explain. what? i am not exactly square. yeah, you fit into that category. really, madeleine, i. i haven't heard a reception like that. i stepped off the plane. sorry to say. they thought i was a replacement. you know, it's just a wild hunch, but i get the feeling that these fellows are wild about. but you mean all that applause is for me? how i was for me. this whole base is under arrest. you come. you come from a large family, don't you, madeleine? yes, i have six sisters and one brother. what about? well, i have five brothers, one sister and one. and what i don't know are waiting for words in the driveway. madeleine, these men are all technicians out here, and i'm sure they'd be interested in your vital statistics.

let me it for you, man. oh, when i am five foot six and weigh about eight stone u.s. stone. that's right. what a wonderful way to get stone. now, tell us more, madame. well, my measurements are 35, 20 feet, 35. and a steady. just your name, rank and serial number. not your secret weapon. you know, i never realized this before. why does it matter? we're almost the same height. are the same height. height. and we stand together and see who stole. just daughter who.

and now let's jump from u-turn to denying the hot spot on the northeast of vietnam. if you think you're confused, you should have seen what security to us. we changed directions more often than a burp in a wind tunnel. third, marines have seen a lot of combat. and they needed all their experience to find a place to sit on this hill. here in danang. it was strictly s.r.o. climbing ramona. look at these cars. they're with their bodies under the stage. and faces staring up at. here i am at danang, better known as dodge city. yes, danang is one of my favorite stops. and i mean that only further. and you're in town country.

and the guys love it here because danang is such a wonderful location. it's so handy to downtown hanoi and i want tell you folks these marines are really tough as one go between. yeah you're tougher. and i thought it really tough. i asked one guy between john wayne and he said, john wayne, who she. and their motto is, semper fidelis. that means, oh, don't worry about a dog. just nail it back on. that's some guys that never made it up there. come on down. i don't think they're on our side either. watch your back.

don't know that the marines here would go over the hill if it wasn't. for one thing, the marines on the other side of the hill went over the hill to get over here. you can work that out. you're ready for. section eight. but marines have a great history. they've landed on more beaches and frankie avalon and annette funicello. no, i go way back. i go way back with the marines waiheke island, guadalcanal, e0 jima. i saw all those pictures. i mean, i bring you great news. the land of liberty, it's still there. yeah. i may have to cross picket line to see it, but is there. but don't worry about those riots you hear about in the states. you'll be sent to survival school before they send you back to and and you get the college scores over here. you've heard the results of the big game. you see l.a. 21, dow chemical

12. dow chemical just got even with the students. they came out with it. asbestos, draft card. hey, can you imagine those pieces back home burning their draft cards? why don't they come over here and charlie o'beirne informed. and everything's gone up at home. prices, taxes and miniskirts. mini skirts are bigger than ever. even some of the fellows are wearing them. don't laugh at the thought of it. you wouldn't be here.

i thought i did great til elaine dunn came out. she was a hip without a note of music. her broke. why didn't i think of that now? now it's back to pasadena, california, in here for the rose bowl parade, would you believe? berkeley, thailand, would you believe this sign. this is no time for sulking. not for this house full of kerosene burners. captain neely johnson has just returned from his hundredth mission over vietnam, and he's introducing. hold it, hold it, gentlemen. just finished my 100 today, and i can think no better way to celebrate and introduce mr. bob hope. than i can't think of anybody. i'd rather have introduced me to that guy just finished his

admission. what you think about that, dr.. hampton? i don't know. captain johnson. right. that. oh, very much. ladies and gentlemen, here we are in tackling the megalopolis of the boondocks. i don't even know what that means. now i never thought we'd be playing in this fungus patch again. but here we are now. i found out a way to beat the heat salt tablets in that air. i've taken so many tablets that when i sweat, i throw it over my left shoulder. and cut to kind of pilots here. the us air force in thailand is you can watch a plane land, tell who's flying and the thailand is use the runway. yeah, yeah, yeah.

our pilots to ad lib after a couple of shots mekong they come in without the plane plane now thailand is our strongest ally in the southeast asia. it must be our embassy here has windows. in this country has never been conquered? no wonder nobody can get through that traffic. a native name thailand is hmong thai means land of the free. the who thought that up never tried to buy anything in bangkok. i want to tell you that. this is a rough spot on the program for me i can't figure out of the audience is applauding me or welcoming raquel welch on stage stage. you know that if you travel to

the beat a different drum can tell by way that her on the every time you make eyes at me and oh oh you got and new money they all work out that any child i ever got to my down you can see the bird at the tree i don't get me wrong he's bad enough for me i'm not my boy who do to love only me and i ain't saying you and gritty, is it? i ready for any the place of thing to try to up the rain into me. yeah, it is by i believe it

ain't. no smith green even though developed love that if you gonna live without me if you cannot be without me if you think you live without me i. this our first visit to camp barricade in vietnam. all of the congas has dropped in several times. so you can see they the welcome mat out. we pay our respects to the army canine guard. these are tracker dogs and they're harmless. well said. they were you like somebody's breakfast here? we meet a few of the thai troops now in vietnam. they're members of the queen's cobra regiment. fresh from a victory against the cong, the young major, the son of the prime minister of

thailand, bonham carter, katrine. so much for the social notes in the priory. let's attack the men of the ninth infantry division. are you bearcat. oh, you're bears baggage dagger. thank you very much. merry christmas, man. merry christmas. we're here with a ninth infantry division at camp martin. we're 20 miles east of saigon, or at least we were when the show started over here. you can never be sure this place has never been attacked until today. the cong would like to attack this place, but they can't. everything is off limits here. in the ninth infantry division. they're known as old, reliable, funny. i thought. that was mouthwash and penicillin.

time to show off one of my favorite pupils. the lame duck. he certainly catches on fast. i see. i like the likes of you. i like to think you do. looks like i like the likes of you. i like your eyes are blue. i think they're beautiful. you blue and you want a blue baby. stay up all night and die here i go say what i mean i mean it i could mean right mistake. i mean to say that i mean to say that i like the likes of you your looks up here tonight i like you.

and. of course course.

and now it's up to play go to hell country if it's hill country, why don't they get those choppers up they claim we were skimming six feet off the ground to avoid snipers. first chopper i've ever seen with curb feelers. four years ago, this was play cool. all they had was a captain and two platoons of monkeys this is what it looked like. this year these pictures aren't for you there for ho chi minh in case he's got any questions they get on stage. they're playing my song. yellow and you're can hear ooh, what a hot hell and here we are play ku vietnam just about 25 miles from the biggest viet cong base. it's called cambodia. this is flaco, home of the official greeters, weary

travelers and the ho chi minh trail. now installation is located at the base of dragon mountain. and i want to tell you, the mountain ain't the only thing around here. there's dragon. and this is mountain yard. this is mountain yard country. i went up to their village and i really enjoyed it. that's we need more of topless allies. and i love the modern facilities they have here. we asked for the washroom. they us two shovels. to mark hasn't heard. let's bring raquel welch back out this isn't for the fellows it's for me.

all right, everybody back on the ground. oh, hey, barbara. my standing in the right place. don't worry, honey. if you're not, they'll move the base back out on the back half of those assembled here. i'd like to welcome you to our little ready room. thank you, bob. i'm most happy to be here and see all these boys. oh, they were boys. you came out now they're old men. bob. but these men really know perfection. oh. now that they had their sergeants. all right, well, why don't we do what israel does? draft the girls along with the men. admiral, like our flight from the states rock out pretty wild. it really was incredible.

a few days ago, i was in a studio in hollywood doing love scenes with dean martin and jimmy stewart. and now here i am in vietnam. you how lucky can one girl get? me snatch you off the lot. you were doing a picture called band bolero. what's it about? well, bob, i play a young widow who is kidnaped by outlaws. you're kidnaped by outlaws. it was a dum dum that said the crime pay. hey, jimmy stewart is great. he. oh, yes. and don't forget dean martin. how can i leave the vapor. here with the inside scoop? what do they do when they make a picture with dean lane, the camera. so it looks like he's standing up. bob. that's all publicity. it's just the image he likes to project. you know, like you pretend to be a great lover. all right. who squealed? let's brown. he told me the tiger. your tank was really a pussycat.

are you going to listen to a man who was turned down for service because he had two left lips. rock you've worked with some of the biggest stars in hollywood. which one of us is your favorite leading man? well, you mean among the young actors like frankie avalon? i one of the older character, like paul newman. somebody around the age of old paul, give or take a couple hash marks. do i ever turn to blond brunet or redhead? you have a choice. thin, faded or falling. that's my only you that or you walk home. oh. you can't carry that far you pull. bob in that category. my choice is you air folks

another unsolicited testimonial testimonial. july is not one of my favorite places to go for a drive the mine detectors working the highway just a half a mile ahead of i hope they've got 2020 hearing a claymore is not the only way to fly there. i am being introduced a silver star winner specialist for mike esmond, a philadelphia. 12 men of his platoon were pinned down by machine gunfire. he pulled them to safety one by one. we'll never catch him with a picket sign. well, here we are, july. the malibu beach for losers losers. anyway, place is occupied by our side.

isn't it? i had here today. i tried real estate around here like it was the san fernando valley wind latest. last year it was the colonel's turn and it was bad. we didn't want to step on their toes or anything. so we're entitled to a rotation to july. navy, army. air force, coast guard, seabees and marines. here you have a choice of five wars. no, and a lot of promotions are given in the field here. i saw a water buffalo with sergeant stripes. and the holidays are so emotional here. i saw one big tough marine just another marine.

guy. he said, is that can't help, but he's my replacement. hey we got a bunch of messages for guys at this price from folks back home. and i feel like a cut rate postman a cb letter to al rice are here or is it right back here he is am, my boy right. hey i just want tell you that your mother wrote a letter asking us to do our show at july this year. so all you fellows out there, i just want you to know. we're here today because leonard's mother and general westmoreland agreed agreed. about way. i told where. well, where are you from? orange. connecticut. orange. you. you know, there's a great golf course there. what's the name of that course? rice brook. that's one of the old golf course. and when i left a little of my vaudeville money there, you you

carry that great good luck. nice to see you. thank you. that's a letter. thank you very much. the sergeant david derbyshire there in the audience. here he comes. what do you know so much about you? sent him up for some. hey, you're fiancee wants us to bring you a big hug and a kiss by the prettiest girl in our troop troop. hey, is marlene there? marlene doing. now, let me tell you something, marlene is our as our hairdresser on the show. we just want to show the kind of things that are lurking around backstage. and give me a little kiss right

there, darling. right. your fiance. and tell her you're still. remember what's your fighting for. you're so right. yes. all right. is master sergeant charles h. de here? i. hey, top. i want i bring you a christmas greetings from your wife and she wants me to kiss you for. it. sounds like a stomach test to me. well, a promise is a promise. well, he's been taking assault tablets. i won't tell you that. randolph dagger santa claus.

very good. is navy chief stephen cote. tell us here. look at this guy. hey, you're kidding. isn't that great. my boy? my name is curtilage. david could tell us. yeah, something i heard about you and danny. you know how long you've been in the service? well, bob, i don't want to fill you in, but they lost their records. i tell you. i tell you what i want to ask you. i know. i know all about record, and i know that you're my. how old are you? me. well, as i say, i'm hitting 69.

now you're. you're you're about the oldest guy in the navy, aren't you? huh? well, don't. who's older than you in the navy? some of our battleships, right? i think it's all your wish. yes, that's brigham. yes, i think so. however, i want congratulate you. and i tell you something, you're a you're sort of to me, you're sort of what america stands for because. i've heard a lot about you, and that's why i wanted you to come up here today. give me a rough idea. you joined the service again? well, when i was a youngster, i heard about communism. but it was in a different way. yeah, it was bolshevism and many other names. now today it's communism, and by god, it's bad to me and i'd like to see it stop very quickly. i like to see you boys do your part, and i'm willing to do mine and let's get them. well, i want.

to be my late last night. i said, i know you with all this. how old are you. oh, i can't take seat and shut your mouth. oh, thank you, chief. that's marvelous we're very proud of. and liking you. get down to the nitty gritty. you've read about it in the headlines. it's right down there in the middle of a rubber plantation. there's a native village past the fence about 40 yards from the show. we took 200 pounds of dynamite

to some claymore out of the village this morning. this is the home of the big red one, the fighting division. we've been playing for for let's just say, wars. these guys been through eight major combat engagements in vietnam, 3000 of them were committed to action. this morning most of these men will leave the show to return to the bunkers. yet they took time to build this one for the performers backstage. they're sitting out in the open, but we've got a place to hide. and here we are. i'd like. and i got to honest with you, i know like. that's a real thrill to be here. like home in a big red one. that's quite a spot. i stepped off the plane. i was mugged. a mosquito. and this beautiful spot used be a rubber plantation until the guards and went into the sack business.

and these guys are real infantrymen. remember the infantry? they used to fight all the wars before the air force hired a press agent. the highway outside is called outside. this base is called thunder road because the vietcong are. i was blowing it up. you can always. you can always tell when something is going to happen. the white line gets up and hides in the bushes. yes, it is great to be back in vietnam and you're happy to have back. you thought there was going to be a truce, huh. that's why i'm back. i'm back. know i'm back. i'm back for suggesting. thanks for the memory. as lyndon's campaign song. we worked 2 hours for them and then did another half hour.

we didn't want to leave him because we knew what they were headed back to. here we are flying the bamboo cord that flows down below one side of the mekong river and there's knock on fanone just a bow and arrow shot away here. we did our show for 500 gung ho air force pilots, crew chiefs and technicians who officially don't exist. if you think war is hell, try winging your way home with a tail full of lead from hanoi and be enlisted as a diplomatic secret. watch bergman flap. when our swinging canaries shows up in the landing pad. down. windsock buckle down. you can wait if you buckle down. if you break it, if you make them wreck, you welcome them back down windsock you make out you can win win if you give them hell if you don't give it

kaigama can you do it? if you will only buckle down to. help. but.

give it on the chin and you bomb down and go down. you'll back grant get back, buckle. cat was the new base for us in the audience. a strange mixture. half of our 10,000 with a sleek and polished gentleman of air force, and the other half with a grunts men of the 101st airborne who had been dropped in the jungle and fought their way through rice paddies to come to the show.

here's one patrol that just made it back the boondocks. they traveled 23 miles to give me this shell with their names inscribed on it. they had a santa claus for us, and here's what we had for them. hey, i understand that your husband hunting. is that right, bob? hand still is such a hard work. however, i am single and, you might say i am shopping for a man boy, boy. i want to tell you, you came to the right supermarket just happened. these fellows are having a clearance sale to now i went down there gives green stamps. i got you. you got a lot to offer. according to my report among other things, you're quite a linguist, is that right? not really. i just speak french and spanish. maybe we can establish a little more rapport. is there anybody out there who can speak spanish or french? well, i don't don't have. what the hell to have a

springboard down. well, what's your name, soldier? and where are you from? herman? jenny from fayetteville, arkansas. oh, well, what's which language do you speak? french or spanish? anything. he's not a linguist. he's anxious anxious. go ahead. say hello to mama and play a little this. this isn't just for you. it's for the people, too, you know? you mind speaking up a little so we can all get in on the whole business? a show, you know, boudoir, we're playing a pasture here for some folk. let's try to work this out a little louder. to be a little footnote on your show. no tell. all that to see just a little round. good night folks. we're a little late. and if i could say hello like that, i'd have been married when i was six. and the weather seven.

how is your turn, madam? this terrible connecticut was it woman and problem is your people decent amount until they got their kid was it an equation that quick? what? say what you say. i'm not sure. sure? well, stop looking and listen a little bit. oh, madeleine is with emily. it's right on. boogying feet. sycamore. oh, i couldn't. sit by. please give william mary if he can. more. i really couldn't. i what does she want? maybe i could. hey, listen, let me in on that. give me something really romantic that i can say to her. joe. man, you're ready, aren't you? i mean, give me some romantic. i said in a foolish you. goody two biscuit.

they he me. what foolish. you know, amy, she she. amy. do you brush after every meal. amy blue. yeah. oh yes, did. but no fabulous. what i say. do you like copper spaniel and piece round this boy with plenty i agree but you're kind of spare. we could be in haiphong in the morning. thank you very much. i did great job. and how about little reward for him? don't you think he deserves it. yeah, that's all there is today. i'm sorry.

get the road as your feet just walk across the. audience right. good, good for friend to go. alan i think i expressed feelings of everybody when i say. i got a crush on you, sweetie pie, all the day and night time. hear me side. i never had the least notion that could fall with so much emotion. could you? could could you care for a cunning cottage? anybody got a small tablet on? how do you feel about american men? oh, i love america. and men. yes. read kind and so lovable. who drew true?

what country are you from. i'm from lower slobogin. yes, we're gonna hurt my baby. here we are getting offered one of our new airbases and rain. we'd better say a kind word about colonel turkey wilson in his 35th tactical fighter wing. they gave us a christmas party

free board room. and one of the greatest audiences in vietnam that's more black. when our director in my right arm on these trips explaining why the girls get the most applause, fan rang was a banner show for us the first time in four years we were allowed by the defense department to do a show at night. you can't see the audience here in the dark. believe me, they were there. most of them were on our side. but back as my arms on the side of your arms in the 43rd signal battalion, i want where i agree about that man you picked the right night for it should have a fur collar. i'm thrilled to be in san bernardino. i want to tell you that. where are we? fang rain dang day, huh? also known as happy valley.

there are other names for it, but this is a family show. the vc will never attack this base by air. never. it's too. you can starve to death in the landing pattern. they have a lot of different units there. they have the 101st airborne here. and they're really rugged calves. they don't use parachutes at all. they just float in. no road trip would be complete without a cross. here's this one. the concentric here. nobody here, somebody loves you. you ain't no -- buddy till that. somebody care. i'm here to tell you. you maybe came.

you may possess this big fat world all it's going to go free you happiness not when you go. oh, that this world is going to stay the same. you'll never change it. no, no. just as long as a stars shine. okay. oh, wait, no, but in here some other you find yourself. nobody to love. right? you're really got a voice. i think you've like the family

jinx. thanks a lot, uncle bob. uncle bob is a little silly. were kids together? yeah, i remember. now, you were the only one in the crib that shaved. you know, i remember. you when you were only knee high to bangs, rolling. and i still can't reach you. how is the old man, gary? fine. no, no, i mean the real old. well, he's good, too, you know. he's producing now. when do you ever stop. what have you been doing lately, phil? well, actually, i've been doing little bit of acting now, but i mean, know, dad is coaching me, dad's coaching you active. that's like twiggy coach in green bay packers. come on now, bob. you can't put down dad. jackie, you know he's got an oscar. well, he deserved it. birth of a nation was quite a movie. birth of a nation is ought a

biography. and you got to stop now, dad. look. look at it this way. what would the road pictures have been without him? great. bill, do you ever look at the road pictures? oh, yeah, it was compulsory. we see him all the time that he's got a little complete set of them, you know, in four millimeter. yeah, well, but for him, you mean eight millimeter? that's the smallest film made. now i know it's for he cut your have all. when they told me that they expected us to make an arrest and landing a carrier, i knew they were putting me on. they just had to switch us to cameras that landed safely on the deck. but when we were 200 miles out over the south china sea in a ridiculous plane, the scene to a the pilot had on the flight deck at 130 miles an hour. i did what any red blooded american would do. i turned green.

and noticed that smiling face you thought i couldn't act as les brown and he isn't acting. i was still complaining. the next morning when we started our show on the flight that. too hot for this. put that in my trunk, man. that's going to be a big story. connect to that war. i was a hero. something. whatever. thank you very much. i'm very thrilled be here. i'm always like the uss rangers.

and i, you know, so they republicans have. even the jolly green giant couldn't hang ten on this surfboard. now, this is a great ship for liberty. the other arms in hong kong. and for anybody who hates being here, this boat. how'd you like to be here without. i? i can't wait to leave this raft because we're going to be launched by catapult. i hope goes back into place. you usually the landing we made on this carrier yesterday, tommy. me where wings folded when we landed. i haven't been hooked like that since vaudeville vaudeville.

obviously, a pair of jockeys shorts buzzing the bridge. their mind. if you hear a few strange sounds now. and then that's what's causing the trouble up there. the radar. the admiral was kind of chicken and wouldn't turn it off. and now here to take over the show is the laurence olivier of broadway. a great guy and a wonderful vocalist. earl wilson, acapella. you know, back in the states, we've heard the civilian and naval experts opinions of the war. but i've been asked by my newspaper editors to find out the facts from the one man who would really know what's happening out here. the average seaman. so i asked your personnel officer, the enlisted man who'd been stationed on a ranger the longest, and i'd like to talk to him now. won't you please step out here.

okay, mac, what do you want? pardon? i don't want anything painted. that's the way it is in the navy. mac, we made it. we made it. we polished and we had polished it. we promoted this in the work detail. i'd like to ask you a few questions first. what is your name? donnelly. william donnelly. it's a very famous name that should be. i'm the head painter. you mean you're in charge. i mean, i paint the heads. if i may call you that, and i'm not too familiar with service insignia. what is your rank? apprentice seaman. seaman. but what are all those stripes?

what. how long you've been stationed on a ranger? 20 years. how's that possible? this ship's only ten years old. no wonder i couldn't find a hook for my hammock. what is your naval occupational specialty? i tell you, i paint. and what do you do at your paint? that's a naval secret. i have top secret clearance. answer my question. do you. do you paint? i scrape it on. the stupidest thing i ever heard of you. that's stupid. you're paying for with your taxes.

they're kidding. they're not going to catapult me off this deck. they did hang on. here we go. for another landing on the coral sea. they've got the hangar deck all set up for. let's go to work. at that. happened to be here. wonderful day here on the coral sea. our 51st state. man. what a ship this looks like jackie gleason's rubber duck.

and this ship has a tremendous crew that hundred enlisted men, 300 officers and 12 girls from hong kong. but you guys got it made. fresh air, good food, nothing to do to to get back to san diego. right. all right. so big, bay, if that's the way you feel. now, this ship stays sea for months. it could stay longer, but it has the old fashioned type of crew that recharging. and i have a special interest in the navy personally now because my son kelly enlisted enlisted. it was the only place he could find to hide from the army. nah, he's an apprentice seaman already. just shows you what can happen when you have connections.

those aren't razors down there. that's our cameron bay audience. 27,000 guys all in on a pass. it's ridiculous. we should be on percentage here. yes, sir. here we are at cameron bay, the sahara, the far east. this is what the french foreign legion is trying to forget now. it's wonderful to be here in this trillion dollar cat box. i've never seen so much sand. is that your c.o.? the fellow with the black eyepatch eyepatch.

oh, this is the world's biggest depot. it looks like bobby kennedy pantry. this the home of the first logistical command. god, i hope. i thought you'd like to know. and it's a very efficient port. in less than 12 hours, 50% of every cargo that lands here has found its way into the black market. they love me and cameron bay. they applauded my every move just as black power. she was right next to me on the stage, lock down. here's the way we all feel about you. you make me feel so young. you make me feel that spring has sprung. and every time i see your grin i'm such a happy oh, i watch your grin make me feel so young you make me feel there are songs to be sung oh, baby song.

even when i'm old and gray it isn't going to make me gray day. because you make me miss oh, yeah. hey, baby, here's how you make me feel. you're i know this smoothing. you trying you to do the magic of marriage can't. you know. captain? oh but. to the likes of a girl like me showing love.

you make me feel also i'm glad you feel so you make me so. yeah. right right now.

this is the spot they waited for at every base. an finale. whereas the guys call it four hits and a miss. oh yeah, this is a court martial. well, what do you got to say for yourself? well, this is mutiny, and you'll never get away with. i have friends in the motor pool. stop whining. we're taking over the show. yeah, bob, you're through. this is girl power. oh. you must be kidding. they came to see me. i'm the star. they didn't come to see you. wouldn't that right, fellas. any other questions? yeah. where can i find the chaplain? we don't need you, bob. we can do anything you can do. show him, rock rockwell.

you flowers, diggers. i'm very happy to here with you tourist. say what part of miami it and we had a wonderful over i want to tell you the military gave us their vip plane it belonged a five star general pershing. how could you look like that and sound like? berle you get your now make way for the master. well, well, so here i. stepped into the ring and asked where my lead the way we've had enough of his deceptions and lies and let me what do do all his bravado he must get by this captain black this and waited and knucklehead, we want to know

most bobby like no my serving his breakfast bed? no. well, this fellow here. kindly step through the ringer ringer. alone from night to you'll find me too weak. to break the chains that bind. i need no shackles to remind me i'm just a prison of love. know what i am his makeup kit weighs more than he does. 6 hours out. and we had to turn back because he forgot his eyebrow. tweezers. hey, bob, how did he get you to go on this trip? he promised me i'd get to meet royalty. he let me walk his dog, prince. what about you, madeline? he said he showed the most famous for in the world.

he gave me a picture of general gaulle. he said he introduced me to all the greatest philosophers of the orient. he took me to a fortune cookie factory. he killed me. i'd treated like a star. i was. he kept peeking into my room with a telescope telescope. no, don't blame me for. things that have happened to you or i am the king. you are just peasants. so don't bug me. don king. i'd like to crown him. hey, you related to the nobility? really? yeah. his great grandfather was in charge of goose pimples for lady godiva, but he is the greatest comedian in the world. how do you know? it says on his bathrobe.

i had a little tear and i sent and she does sewing on the side a. little money for laundry and little things like that. you oh, my. what? let's be fair. he really is considerate. that's true. what do you ban for scorpions in his room? he gave one to each of it. they're crazy about me. telenovelas. you were kidding. oh, they know that, bob. we've loved every minute of this trip. it's been the greatest experience of our lives. we, the cranes. i've got name attached to lie. we love the gay and. but what gave us our biggest got to be here with you, saigon and thailand who house remain oh all out of you and even yap around by god we love you flying in the

chopper clover that will offer a gave us all a great big boom coming and black melodrama. each one of you we it's better ball we thank you all you made our crew feel ten feet tall the the we'll get the car we love being here. oh yeah we. look at those smiling faces don't want to know what they're doing. they're listening to our pilot, lieutenant colonel thomas m sumner, explaining that the landing field at coochie is only 2600 feet long. but not to worry, they can usually make it also being one.

and in case of forced landing, please stay in the plane. we have plenty ammunition on board. here we are with the 25th division. their motto, if it moves, shoot it. watch me standstill during this money. thank you very much. nice to see you. very happy to be back here at cu. coochie, coochie that's vietnamese for you want it? you can it our had no trouble finding this place he drinks. two packages to you know what that's about that's that's from cleveland, ohio. that's where i fought for a few minutes and you're guys put that up. you remember the way i fought? i used to fight under the name of rembrandt hope. i was on the canvas so much. whoever put that up, i'll get them. get him. after the war.

the insignia here is tropic. and that's what they look like when rotation time comes around. we have the 101st airborne here today. the only outfit in vietnam that travels by yo yo. oh, you're always tell helicopter pilots are the ones that are still doing the watusi. a half hour after land. every time, barbara mcnair stepped on the stage. the audience was hers and hers alone. for once in my life. i have someone who needs, me,

someone i needed so long. oh, one son. a free need i can go when life bleeds me and some hard oh, i'll be strong. 01i can touch you what my heart used to do. before i knew. someone oh, like. could make margery come. for once in my life i won't let sherry hurt me. not like it's me. oh, oh.

once have something i know i won't desert me i'm not alone. oh, oh. once i can say this is mine. you take it long as hard no, i have love i can make it in my heart somewhere on who needs me. not mine can take it let me i know i have no i can make it it back here let somebody hurt my

free. have someone who knew me me me. leaving cookie they held us on runway for a half an hour when sniper was reported at the end of the runway, combat patrols cleared area chased the critics out of there and we were off for --. thailand scene like all of the 388 tactics, a fighter wing turned to walk the message board and also major dave wilson back from his 100th mission. here's dave taking the traditional hunter into the

officer's club pool. and here i go in a tight pedicab on my first mission. oh, beautiful. you couldn't take me right to the moment, could you? i don't get any last couple. at my man. my man. a big hand. i need. yeah, you're reaching out for money from me. you can have your hand chewed off, cracked chrysler. they love that, won't they? oh, that may mean another year. you tell.

anyway, i want to tell you, i'm happy to be in carat thailand's answer to peyton place. and i want to thank our president for doing our warm up here. and you can tell it to lbj been in thailand the big moment in front of the palace now a barbecue. but it's wonderful be back in thailand they we had to come back to thailand the band needed another bath. i'll never forget thailand. i made the mistake of drinking out of the clown. a clown, what they call a canal here. if you live on a farm they have another name for it. i went fishing out of my hotel window and got to pull in an

empty. and here's the show i still don't believe largest audience i ever played. the nicest christmas present we ever get. some say 30,000, some 28. buchanan and i'm going out to grab him before i a single word merry christmas christmas i just want to tell you it's to be back here in general westmoreland's ranch. general westmoreland went to see the president. guess it didn't work out. he's back. and his base is loaded with brass. one pfc who spent his whole tour of duty trying salute his way out of the washroom.

they don't have this many stars at the academy awards, and there's just as much jealousy. but enough about my problem now. vietnam is less than half the size of california air and the same shape. so why doesn't ronald reagan come over here and straighten the whole thing out. and this is christmas day, i tell you, it's a thing here in vietnam. and there's great holiday spirit this morning, a perfect stranger handed me a gift beautifully wrapped. i can't get over the way he tied fuze into a bowl. vietnam is the place in the world where you can get a purple heart. your christmas presents and santa is afraid to come to. vietnam. last year he only got as far as

the hole when he was picked up by the m.p.s m.p.s. at least once. at every base we had. get the audience in on the act. don't just sit there get up and wiggle. and.

the show the man all four star general westmoreland came up on stage. bob, i want to thank you and talented troop for a wonderful. there's a very distinguished in the audience who has seen bob show for four years at this time i would like to introduce the vice of the republic of vietnam

nguyen cao ki ki. so would like to take this opportunity to express to all my fellow fighters on behalf of people, my country. our gratitude. we know how big your sacrifice. we know how big you dedication i'm sure the generation of vietnamese today and those to come will remember merry christmas and happy new year to all of. vice presidency presented me a turban and robe.

how about that liberace eat your heart out. then we were joined by the vietnamese lady bird madam kate. and here's our ambassador ellsworth bunker. and next to him, the very carolus bunker. our ambassador to the pound, and one of my favorite golf pigeons. our host for the day, general bruce palmer. clark airbase in the philippines was known as up. but there's no saying no to colonel bob gates. they sent out eight interceptors to escort us in or shoot us after a very warm greeting from general ben davies and his charming wife, we did a quick show on the airstrip made our respects to the patients at the park base hospital. and 8 hours later we were on stage in guam. our last show our last show stretched to hour. as you know, i don't whether the guam maniacs are the greatest audience, the world where the greatest and just hate to get

all. this is the last up on this particular tour as know we're headed back home after two weeks and i know everybody has great memories of this tour. there's a lot of people connected with this show. all these technicians, all these who are volunteers, and we're very proud of. they do a marvelous job. all the sound boys down here, dave boris and mike thornton and all these guys and woody marx here and all these fellows. and i want them i wish everybody backstage would out here. come on out here, pat. come on out here. bill. the larkin come on out here. and they are mike michel, barney mcnulty, marlene, our

hairdresser. ron warner, our newest annie morrow. it's her birthday charlie solomon. earl wilson, les selena, eileen dunn. still worrying about the sketch. miss world. joan moss timing. fred king, johnny. paula to hear barbara mcnair, colonel redd beasley, our fearless leader from the pentagon, sugar daddy, raquel welch, curtis trying not to look like her husband, al borden phil clean, ray brannigan, earl elwood larkin and myron trying to steal the camera at ground as at every other base. we close the show with barbara leading us in silent night. so i die. oh julie. oh, need. oh, oh liz, bravo.

to you. so. big. how have a merry christmas and god bless you by. well that's about it. i wish had a bottle as well, but they have to get back to the

store if there's anything an actor hates it's losing an audience. i hope this one is real careful. erwin, go as there's a few of the faithful waving goodbye before we start the long trip home. it's been a great christmas. i know. there are millions of americans who would have liked to share it with us and there's a lot to remember. a lot think about memories of the people and the faces that will stay with us a long time. i want to thank the defense department and my favorite travel agency, the uso, for helping to make it possible. i also want to thank the chrysler corporation for their generosity and thoughtfulness in giving up their commercials so we can show you more of our fighting men. and before i forget, i to thank all of my fellow gypsies for a great job. this was an trip 22 bases in 15 days. colonel red, the pentagon really laid one out this year. you know, people ask us why we

keep making these trips. maybe this in part answers our question they even fought to get in see us. how about this kid with the cap on his lens? you probably saw the drug store. when the film comes back, the big topic of conversation here is how many days you got left. most of these kids have a tattooed on their eyeballs. you work for these kids and hear the laughs and applause. you really forget there's a war going on and you visit the hospitals and you're brought back to reality. hi. what's your name? name? joe. paul casey. where are you from? joe raposo, california. wish you good. glad to see my phil crosby. and this is celine dion with. what the bob hope tour when i wish you a happy new year and speedy recovery. how do you feel my feel like i feel great. what would your first battalion, third marines and marine establishing here in. the thing that impresses about

these patients is there a wonderful sense of humor? they amaze you the way they look up and smile. maybe they're doing it to keep up morale and we can use it. we walk into these hospitals. here's les brown and one of our heroes. they took this jag at to pound steel slug out of this boy's hip hip. they got this boy right through the pocketbook. too bad it wasn't wallet. he wouldn't have been scratched scratched. say it again. and indiana. sounds like hoagy done it less. can i. come here, doctor. you know i want to talk to. the doctor. tell me about this. what uh, what happened to this boy laying multiple fragment wounds from a mine or a mortar? mortar and got artery lacerated on the right. and he's been repaired and doing great everything's coming back. isn't that nice and that sort of thing. and you be back there in indiana, huh?

yes, sir. well, they did pretty good going to the rose bowl, you know, so well. and you wonder why some of these kids are still smiling. well, these are the lucky ones. a of their buddies didn't make it at all. this war gets bigger every year. and as the war gets bigger, casualties mount. the fighting force division here at play ku now has its own memorial and it's inscribed. i cannot think of them dead. who walk with me? no. along the path life i tread, they have gone before. come back next year when our country and little people will have peace back freedom and independence. wouldn't it be great if this came true? a lot of people are praying that it will. this year we missed two men who brought comfort and solace to

our troops. his eminence, cardinal spellman and billy graham, who has been grounded temporarily. we he'll be back soon. but there's no lack of men, of good faith despite millions of words that have been spoken and written, we know there are no easy answers to this conflict, but an answer there must be. somehow we must get through a hanoi and one way or another is all such a waste that it's better to build and to destroy. there are now some faint glimmers of hope, a few telltale signs reason may yet prevail we hope and pray that before too long the peace which we are all yearning, will become a reality with god's help. this will be the year we had a great christmas. thanks for the memory.

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