when we say they're about never getting up every weekend on d w the it is happening in the tides in dallas during those really difficult times, my boat, myself arrangements funding. it's about to fly the spies on cold it. my problem is on the spring and miss with it. i promised myself that on that day i wouldn't take my own life and do some talking. indeed, miss nemo stiffness. i still make that promise every day. and that has a very special meaning for me is to give a thought to him for his it's been. yeah,

it's been my name associate. i'm 22 years old. yeah, and i still do psychology at mazda of university is inside of me every day i face lot decision leave. every day i choose life is to and i'm actually a very cheerful person. but if i have to describe myself in the policy, let's say i was someone suffering by the depression, it's amazing disorder as strongly as the coverage center. i think i'm on the right tall, big or fenced in a long way to go. but i do believe i'm home, the right office in the coming on way. come the, let me get this minutes since i gets it all says when i was 16, when i had kind of capex and i often didn't even realize that i was causing myself

. because as i've seen, that was a way for me to deal with my emotion, these including ones. i didn't want anyone to see him as soon as you might have seen lesson ryan self as might sound controversial of the behaviors. save my life. got them on this. i don't mean to say that it was right or a good way to deal with emotion which i have just inside and with whom the also the right way this little to turn to someone on the and in an emergency to go to a clinic of other months solution effects, as long as that should be fine. if you're choosing between death and self, tom mumbles, and you know how bad it on the list for other people. if you took your own life, then you draw the choose the option that way you might end up in hospital, but you're still alive. how many miles? and that's what i did post marked you might help. you can help chop

to sophia, i didn't buy any of you can come fresh. do you have anything else you can put on it otherwise we still have the yeah, yeah, well good, really, this one here and then me lives here with 5 of the go. so to speak to us in the pot, and we're like a little family very close. emily she is, and i feel very comfortable here because there's always someone to talk to it. but there's not much more. there's always someone that you faced of, i'm just really, it's just a nice to be loved to have phone and just great people to live with them. one golf as with as much to feel comfortable here. so you don't take that around the least expensive to revise? no. oh, we went into have a toast and we need some glasses please. oh, okay. let's do this 1st and for us to

a successful weekend, to uh, to the apartment looking the way it does again and all the chaos we overlooked. the fact that sophia has been living here for a year to the apartments of southern beaches. glad you found your way here. thanks for letting me loose gloves as a fashion here. i'm going sophia moved in here. she was already in a relatively good place for lots of gluten or vice cups, and otherwise i don't think she would have made the decision to move in with strangers so far ways. and so, you know, they make such a big legion to a completely new lives. some of the dumbest thing shows on the internet decisions you made down most about some things you really wanted to do on voice, reinforce deadra, small prophetic tom mazda of these. he'd already made that decision for herself, and we supported her the wood off on a test. it's me choosing life simply means i want to be higher. i want to experience joy and the sadness, everything cards, it's all part of life. so i can definitely so that in sylvia as

a feel for you and fire. yeah, i just as i typed in the context also of the accounts when i was deep into my eating disorder on for me, guessing i also found disorder was about issues online. specifically. i wanted to share of what i was going through. that's including the release that my life goes on to that nice the way i want to them. other people i to hear about 2 months of tires, but it's not the most of all. i want to know anyone who does the couch in the next 2 weeks from an excel. larry sent me a line live on a quick. well, i think it would be cool to live alone be something like this. i know i'll be able to do is at some point of a right now i feel a bit too insecure of this. you know, there's always that you do have to try these the, i'm always on a bit of a tight road. so i wonder what should i try, what am i capable of the tone? when should i believe i myself and what is the deal too dangerous status of a surprise? i know i'll get the stuff i will be able to live in the home as it's not is

possible kind of that's as much as you of the child fish positive. i think i was like, you know, treatment. what's in the next 411 in the hospital? so about a year, i always wanted to come across as perfect that i had a public prolong if not, everything was great. and that was destroyed by the fact that i ended up in the clinic and clinical kind is extended when i was deep into my eating disorder. there wasn't a 2nd in my life that i was free of it. i was constantly thinking about it constantly. did i of i couldn't stop back. i would not all you awake at night thinking about food as would it be felt like every thing happened, sprinkled with corey's father instead of asking some gift the spring canals on the same goes for depression and he's when it takes over every single your life

. when lost a face to face and you can no longer enjoy a move and feel fulfilled, you feel like a show a food fruits, and then that's the case. it makes complete sense to things like, okay, that's nothing means it has been, this is wrong. i'm getting my 1st have to say, and it's going to be the lessons m, c, l good food can push them instead of me choosing life, which also ties into the into the challenge with, i'm saying i owe you something you know, high res, you ok is madeline called me, yeah, you can see such a boat. okay. if it is right, the left is mc l. lowercase it is on august. angus fever. mm. okay. okay. what size also can be fine. mm hm. which probably tosh,

a successful i actually released. those are coming out, it's about 9 once again. i was scared at the beginning and shaking on this question is 31 question for turn off of mom and i was conscious of my arms and legs and i'll find time and we're done because you know, within 2 or 3 months of doing it every day, it's changed, confusing, old customer, and then the 5 to nominate people see the scholars at the home, and then the, on my mind anyway, maybe what was the hours, have some mazda standards of political subscript, as well as elizabeth bishop. i'm her adult and i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for a while because i hated myself cellphone and you'll all have scholars for the rest of my life. when i have children, i'll be the mom with the sick on. so it's an outline or does for as low interview, it was about it. i'm moving and feeling just this isn't the healthy part of me

doesn't want to have the scars and does he want to identify the the other paul to absolutely wants to have the stalls and one by the identify with them that both of my boss has me into that show that these patients, it's crazy like that's how this forever i clean your to to and we can make small lines. okay. well it was easily move assessed function, moments of realization i'm standing here and can proudly say, so i've chosen life. so that starts with i'm going to do something because i never would, i be able to guess it's have to because i never thought i wouldn't get it to this phone. so you can get out to these like com dosage i've done tend to help them kind of giving you the the also listen help my whole racing and i'm shaking a bit of i'm nervous just because

a lot happens here that has negative association as well. yeah. you got to, you've also been the overload. arlene, this is a legal system. so what i meant by end of the worst moment was here in the clinic. when you have the address is, you know, there, i say it and i saw my god, how emaciated you were in the veins. everything was blue. they couldn't take your blood vain. and so alice plow. you haven't got it. dick, i can pull it up there. but yeah, i have to pump pension the toes because of the blood, had retreated them to your torso. so with that, so your body live in a comparative emergency alarm system because after that i really light on coming here. i just couldn't hear gunning cool. you have a say as the thing you it was like okay, she's safe now. so for me that was how you learn. sorry, do you take and quit typing? no, i don't take is if i don't you don't know something else. my dad, my dad was also diagnosed kind of depression some time ago. do you close to to sign type for nissan,

part of myself and daughter. saw how withdrawn g look this up as can knew what that feels like with me. i'd hope that wouldn't affect her, but when it hit her, it would not be able to me it's, it's, it's off. i mean, there's always guns. have you spoken to the doctor about the have i have an appointment soon. yeah. within the thing, what are you okay. to look at some stuff that might come up for you about them. do this them? yes, i know that all the time is 1030 as well. so the other is, well, i don't take anything else. we don't sleep as much that one by i was down the road a of the on the other side just i'm glad you mean the ground floor. yeah. to sure long it's been a while to thank god for years ago. this is because i feel, yeah, as i said the feels good. we're good is confusing. sure. because i need to have someone that feels good. no, that's okay. what services, and what can i say? it's the way it is, and there's been sort of down, it's good, it's launched in my oven. there used to be a certain amount around having this, all these. and so if you feel, if he has your eyes about it on social media,

have gone on to an open with the different generation on under the. but it's also been a shift and to reside in the social awareness and on that topic has become socially acceptable done and, and emissions about discussing it have dropped significantly when i'm talking about the status of the mtv to talk about. so even if it's a good thing, so or no, yes, yeah, let me just have to, it's been a good thing for me to it's i could finally let go and talked about it last lesson . and what i mean by them was able come from about 5 minutes. i'd often wonder john, but what sort of comments kind of do? because i skipped so concepts can see this. so you learned about having a completely different conversations now both squared and alone. and so have some relationship with each other fuels and the government started doing but happy. so at some point i just got a feeling so alone for so long if there was so many people out there who feel the same way and i wanted to share what i was going through and clear things that life

that life goes on by targets. it's such a serious where there's nothing for me to get myself to know drawings and there's lots of times, but i wanted to share my experiences. i wanted other people to hear that be comfortable. the feedback i go from this account was so encouraging that then i stopped posting for one thing i started to feel people expected me to perform. i heard a sunroof off from no one gave me thought feelings or the post most. it was pressure . i put it on myself, but i think this mentioned doc, teacher games and then was one of those adults because i realized i had to let go with that a positive my boss in mac tough does is dean time. and i think i had a little just those rights to close that chapter of my life if we could just move on a vision to the real value in doable up. so excuse me. and just sort of assuming that the item that i thought i'd leave the as well

is fine, i didn't really want to go to entire skin as i turned in my mind, hold them in therapy with something and the crazy people have to tell them it's. and, and when i was a message with a shot, i was immediately assigned to a therapist and he liked the whole and i soon became a great for, for the session cause i tried to co operate as a back buffers. tell people come up and how for example, i always write down everything that we discussed on thursday of each month. so that i wouldn't forget to, especially i kept thinking about this again, right here in about general 5 is when i wrote an incredible amount in my diary during that time that side it's done. and then i would say it's good for a village and yeah, it has little talk here therapy. so i'm going to because of my heating person systems purpose one of the most impulse and tell you would either be maybe not the

most important. one of the last i go to the 600. we went for so many walks and we'd always donaldson and take a look back. we went home to look a coffee. yep. so that is true stuff. well, it's nice to look back and it's important to remember everything that's happened and everything you've already modified associated with most of the other devices happened. and what you've seen, sophia is china. and sophia is someone who likes to laugh away her difficulties. i didn't think she was smiling when i 1st met her and to me. so here there was something oh that's looking beneath the surface in touch with i'm the looks of this philosophy and i were always on the west to be searching for the right words and to express how she was feeling the same disguise. and i was present, took overtime, she became a master and of that side. okay, so i know my stuff and i always say it's like in the danverse thing. and so as our river starting to flow to withdraw him and his force went on,

flew standards please. and to come with an ongoing cost and come, then came bernard van and became bender of lou. the bad. the came around the corner, hitting the with a full full with one of the that image of depression. you can close the huge dog lying on your chest or stick. yes, exactly. and then you rock isn't commands like zip down and stay. yeah. yeah, yeah, that's right. the systems are nice enough to have to stop and you have that other character when you have the eating disorder. so and if equal a good haul this the calorie count or power, they're kind of, you know, a lot of that kind of the incentive. as i said that you remember the line mccadden just click la. hi paul. hi. hello. and who do i? oh, yeah. and so on, move on, we set up a kind of early warning system to allow sophia to recognize when it's getting dark

and cold again, we've done decades to counteract that with the help of therapy position in terms of partition context. see these days for it. so she has much more resilience decision, it's an encounter slightly different. mine says and i'm the for those that so so you have toyed, she's come to know that even the deepest emotional events because it was very difficult situations can be overcome. but the, the hand experience that's no one can take away from her and it's something she now shares with others is tied cl from it. and then we have most families. once we do not find the ones, it would be like if i became a thorough person to you, and she always said that we could do it together. something really touching me thus hudson's. you'll say i have a great deal. so it isn't in my mind because she buys to me when i didn't believe myself. so to you, i just have a sick and she said we do it some day and now here i am studying. so i don't want to do if it's crazy because it costs the

pharmacy nowadays, i look forward to coming home. it's also nice that i can be this happy again, because for awhile it was difficult for me to come home because it has nothing to do with my family in my room. so like then when i was feeling that i was usually opening my room this last month to month. yeah. and so even if it's of i have my 1st balance of depression when i was 11, no, 1212. what stopped me, humming myself. was the youngest, as a light switch and disorder up cuz it was taught and then so fun in replacing the same disorders. i suppose. i always needed something like a mechanism to deal with real life as well. and it pulled the rug out from under my

feet and a good tool. yeah, i was scared for her. i'm so scared to death. so yeah, you love it when i do this for your birthdays so that these are didn't this you why since you didn't want anything weren't there to protect it? how should i have to assume? no, it wasn't. i was modifying. is this my go your sort of activity to the, to the is it helps with it. this is yeah. to, to, to have somebody. yes. so it is. i said of them my family and friends. i wouldn't be here anymore. they i'm speaking. yes. hi, lindsey, it's less than makes me happy every time she lives now because it's not something i take for granted. that's awesome. i'll be the shooting. always nice to see are in a good mood. i'm gonna have to have a good time together. i haven't because i just wasn't possible before about some dispute, so we lived together and our relationship keeps getting better and stronger. i'm

very grateful. i'm just when i use my big stuff, but it's up to you and the content, i have a card hanging here that says everything will be good in the end. and if it's not good yet, and it's not the end. and as i keep telling myself to do with things as they come to always move forward from, it's going to support her and give her what she needs to investigate, but also to step back food and stay out of it. when she doesn't need to finish the boxes on the list for funding to our from the hi, how are you? good. you know. good luck. the coffee over the by that finish. one could hear me. yeah. you have the blanket.

right. that, you know? yeah. good. that's how i was worried. we didn't have one excuse either mind that maxime is one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life of the and 5, we've been close for a very long time now. almost 10 years a. yeah, i'm very grateful for this is just a cell phone is is in line, which is when things are bad and my boss, me talk to her about because it was difficult because we have to continue to choose life and time because it has to be an active decision every day as the and i didn't really feel that my wife was was living in canada. but i have to make the decision that i wanted to the success of those stubs. the super difficult. it's super, she's a. if we'd spend a day back then like today, all right, so i'm driving so this me having, i'm taking a control. ching non factors may be playing called to something either i would've been 9 caught. seems peter as a full service and wouldn't have given me any when near the energy assistance for

life and how is that? i feel right now and then slide onto the part is just kind of screw this and send you the comments. lovely on. think i channel, let me know for me. mm hm. well then the why should they go to maybe launch it for you think is low cost, but as i'm crazy, just 4 years ago, i would have nothing on the so much oil on them. and now i don't, how do you get muscle? you're looking kind of nice. oh, i thought that too much as young, but it's so nice and most also look like i'm just so happy to the whole the different issue. it's just sitting here. i don't even think about them and that way you know what, i'm so sure. as long as i remember the 1st time i was in hospital with you, what did you have to like to get some of those uh for a levels of miss. not just specifically, so it was a far as i remember sitting there thinking. so if you just open them speed in your mouth, i just inclusive,

at least for them. so they don't get upset. i'm just thinking of that. i just couldn't do it. we just may always have to solve a new file or that was the crazy time you owns that it makes it all the nicer that we can be here now, but it's no longer an issue. the scripts we can just sit here, eat together the carefree, and so i'm so grateful the whole so here's to keeping it that way, keeping it that way too. well, this is sophia, now, she's still much stronger than she used to be dead. stop. i think at some point she discovered the fighter within her head that you can really see that the money it's from just push the start off. that's it. i'm not moving my, my board with a huge, locked up. some of these and slips. and you see, i mean, she's so strong the staff full of life now obviously good as what i hope shall always be able to draw on the fighting spirit within her. and us often made and when times change and things get worse flushed of it, this is it. i hope she keeps it with her to stay strong and darryl to keep asking for help bye to him. even when she knows she can do it by yourself. upwards, i shall fips code. i want her to be and remain happy life. i want her to fulfill

her dreams. and i want her to come out of all of this feeling stronger y'all to extinguish that cost, the type of cost as well. so i don't think you can imagine that if you haven't experienced those, we find that out on the match level. it is to see yourself in the future of sitting somewhere. nothing has trudy being in the movement enjoying the day and not thinking for guy don't feel anything. this doesn't smoke anything. i mean the scottish scenarios today. i can say that i feel single so deeply and i'm ever so grateful for things. i never thought this day would come to a tech come that's. that's why i'm convinced like absolutely convinced. i'm on the right in home, mostly signed for you guys. all right, the,

the the

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a this is dw news lie from berlin. dozens of people have been killed in a hundreds more injured in protest and bangladesh. student demonstrators are calling for civil disobedience and demanding that the prime minister step down after a deadly police crackdown on protesters. also coming up, fears grow over the prospect of a wider conflict in the middle east. several countries urge their citizens to leave 11 on as tensions in the region continue to mount. in israel, 2 people are killed in a stabbing attack in a city near tell of the.