the trouble to fix the meals culture and then 15 men, let's say together parts of our community life on the research is now on the the is happening in the tides in dallas during those really difficult times. my boat, myself arrangements funding. it's about supply. and as possible, and i called it my problem is on the spring and miss with it. so i promised myself that on lunch day, i wouldn't take my own life and didn't talk monday, miss nemo stiffness. i still make that for almost every day, and that has a very special meaning for me is to have a thought for me is expensive to. yeah,

it's been my name associated that i'm 22 years old. yeah. and i still do psychology at mazda of university is inside of me every day i face, lot of so just leave every day i choose life is to and i'm actually a very cheerful person. but if i had to describe myself in the policy, i'd say i was someone suffering by the depression, it's amazing disorder as strongly published . i think i'm on the right tall, big off the stand alone weights ago. but i do believe i'm on the right office in the that i've coming away from the from yet does minutes. since i get to dollars, when i was 16, when i had kind of come tax and i often didn't even realize that i was crossing

myself, this process of seeing that was a way for me to deal with my emotion, these including ones. i didn't want anyone to see, i'm assuming you might have seen lesson ryan self as might sound controversial of the behaviors. say you've my life. got them on this. i don't mean to say that it was right or a good way to deal with a motion which i have just inside it would soon though. so the right way this little to turn to someone on the and then an emergency to go to a clinic of other months, solution effects. as long as that should be fine. if you're choosing between the desk himself home, mumbles, and you know how side on the list for other people if you took your own life and you draw the choose the option that can come where you might end up in hospital, but you're still alive. how many months, and that's what i did the 1st month you might help you can help chop

to sophia, i didn't buy any. you can come fresh. do you have anything else you can put on it? otherwise we still have the yeah, yeah, well good. really. this one here, and then me that i did for you with 5 of the go. so to stick with us in the pot, and we're like, little family, very close. emily. she is feeling very uncomfortable here. was as always, someone to talk to him. but his mental emotional, there's always someone that the, when he faced of i'm just really, it's just a nice to be like to have found that sounds great. people that lived with them wound off as with as much to feel comfortable. and they're saying like, don't take that around, it literally says percentage to revise. no, oh, we wanted to have a toast and we need some glasses please. oh, okay. first of course,

to the successful weekend, to uh, to the apartment, looking the way it does again and all the chaos we overlooked. the fact that sophia has been living here for a year to the apartments of food in deacons. glad you found your way here. thanks for letting me loose club as a fashion here. i'm going sophia moved in here. she was already in a relatively good place for lunch or vice cups. otherwise, i don't think she would have made the decision to move in with strangers so far away. so, you know, it makes such a big leads into a completely new lives. some of the dumbest thing shows on the modem during the decisions you made down most about something she really wanted to do on the voyage was reinforced as a small prophetic tom mazda does. he already made that decision for herself, and we supported her the note on test, it's me choosing life simply means i want to be a lawyer. i want to experience joy, the sadness, every thing has it's all part of life. so i can definitely so that in sylvia is

a feel for you and fire. yeah, i just as i typed in the country, i start with the account when i was deep into my eating disorder on for me, guessing i also found just sort of was about issues online specifically. i wanted to share of what i was going through. that's including the relief that my life goes on to that life. and what i want to the other people i to hear about 2 months of payments versus i know the most of all gone cuz he wants to know anyone who pays the couch in the next 2 weeks. from an excel, larry sent me a line live on a quick while i think it would be cool to live alone. just tell the designer won't be able to do is at some point right now i feel a bit too insecure. i'm sure. now there's also did you do have to try these the i'm always on a bit of a tight road, but so i wonder what should i try? what am i capable of the tone? when should i believe my self and what is the deal too dangerous? the status of a surprise, i know i'll get the stuff i will be able to live in the that is possible. come the

best as much. is the toughest positive. i think i was like, you know, the next for 11 and a half so about so yeah, i always wanted to come across as perfect that i had to put it in canada. if not, everything was great. and that was destroyed by the fact that i ended up in the clinic meeting account. it's got kind of the clinic when i was deep into my eating disorder that wasn't a 2nd in my life that i was free of it. i was constantly thinking about it dominantly did i of, i couldn't stop back, i would not be awake at night, thinking about food as would it be felt like everything happened, sprinkled with, give you some info instead of as got some gift, push, playing good, good knows on the same goes for depression and he's when it takes over everything

in your life when last a face to face. and you can no longer enjoy a move and feel fulfilled. you feel like a show a food fruits, and that's the case. it makes complete sense to things like, okay, that's nothing name. it has been, this is where i'm getting my 1st step to say and it's going to be the next is m c l 5th for the 1st time instead of me choosing life, which also ties into the, into the college with. i'm saying, oh oh. so you know, high res, you ok is madeline called me. yeah. you can see that k. oh okay. if it is for i think it's the left is m c l lowercase it is on august, august fever. hm. okay. okay. what size also can be fine?

cuz the the task itself as, as for the release goals are coming out, it's about 9 once again. i was scared at the beginning and shaking on this question is 51 of the seems to turn off of mom and i was conscious of my arms and legs and i'll find time a lot if it's, you know, within 2 or 3 months of doing it every day it's changed, confusing, old customer, and then the 5 to nominate, people see the scholars have been not the home. and then the on my mind, anybody i maybe was in the hours have some must stay with political subscripts. as well as elizabeth bishop. i'm her adult and i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for a while because i hated myself to invest her phone and you all have scholars for the rest of my life. like the when i have children, i'll be the mom with the sick on. so it's an outline what as far as the interview, it was about it, i'm living in feelings, this isn't the healthy part of me,

doesn't want to have the scars and does he want to identify with the call to absolutely want to have the stalls and one by the identify with them that both of my house was me. instead i showed that these patients, it's crazy like that's how this forever i clean your to to and we can make small lines. ok, well it was easily move assumption moments of realization. i'm standing here and can proudly say, so i've chosen life. so that starts with i'm going to do something. i never will, i be able to guess it's have to because i never thought i wouldn't get it to this phone so you can get out to these like com dosage i've done tend to have them kind of see you those to the also listen here. my hold is racing and i'm shaking a bit off. i'm nervous just because

a lot of happiness here that has negative association. as for me, you've got to, you've also been the lo darling, the legal defense department. but i think the worst moment was here in the clinic when you had the address is you know, there, i say it myself. oh my god, how emaciated you were in the veins. everything was blue. they couldn't take your blood vain. and so alice plow, you haven't got it. put a different route up nearby. yeah, i have to pump pension the toes are because of the blood had retreated them to your torso. so with that, so your body luminous amount of emergency i'm system cut. after that, i really light on coming here as there's plenty of guiding. cool. yeah. so yeah. the you, it was like okay, usually saves now. so for me that was how you started you take and quit typing. no, i don't take it. if i don't, you don't know something else and i'm papa. yeah, my dad was also diagnosed and depression some time ago. do you have enough to to assign type when you saw a part of myself and daughter?

saw how withdrawn she loved when you helped us can knew what that feels like with me. i'd hope that wouldn't affect her, but when it hit her, it was not available to me. i think off me there's always guns cuz i have you spoken to the doctor about it, they actually have it. they have an appointment. sonya we've been isn't what are you okay to look at some stuff that might come up for you about them went through this moment. yes. i know that all the time on thursday is also the as is well i don't take anything else. i don't sleep as much that one by i was down the road a of the on the other side just i'm excited to get with you mean the ground floor? yeah, sure. long has been a while called 4 years ago. this is exactly as i said, the good we're good is confusing. sure. because i need to have someone that good service. no, that's okay. what's the season? what can i say? it's the way it is expensive down. it's good. it's launched my oven. there used to be a certain amount around having with all these sophia, sophia, as you guys about it on social media, i'm going to,

i know to an open with the different generation on. and those of us also been a shifting of his id and the social awareness and on that topic has become socially acceptable done and, and emissions about discussing it have dropped significantly on team what the status of the image really talking about. so even if this could say so or no, yes, and yeah, so let me just have that. it's been a good thing for me to it's i could finally let go and talked about it last last time was am cut from about 5 minutes out of one job, but when, so it becomes kind of new because i skipped so concepts can see this. so you're having a completely different conversations now, both grading alone and so that's one relationship with each other fuels and the government started doing but had to hold at some point just feeling so alone for so long if there are so many people out there who feel the same way and i wanted to share of what i was

going through include things like life that life goes on by to get. it's such serious where there's nothing trying to get myself to know drawing. so there's lots of times, but i wanted to share my experiences. i wanted other people to hear that be comfortable. the feedback i goes on this account was so encouraging that then i stopped posting for one thing i started to feel people expected me to perform or her son in fossil. no one gave me that feelings on that post most. it was pressure i put on myself that english mentioned doc teacher games and then just went to the old of those adults because i realized i had to go with the cost of my boss. and that helped us as dean time. and i think i had a little of just those rights to close that chapter of my life. if we could move on of this into the real value in the opposite reason. and just sort of assuming that the item that i thought i'd just leave the

search find, i didn't really want us to go to entire skin until i turned in my mind to them. and therapy was something only crazy. people have to tell them it's and, and when i was a message, but it was immediately assigned to therapist and he liked the whole and i soon became a great for, for the session because i tried to co authorize the buffers. tell people come up and how for example, i always write down everything that we discussed on thursday, and i've had so much so that i wouldn't forget to, especially i kept thinking about this and writing the balance of all 5. that's when i wrote an incredible amount in my diary during that time, that side of the done and then i would say let's go for the election. yeah, 6 has little talk here therapy. so i'm going to because of my heating person systems portez, one of the most impulse and tell you would either be maybe not the most important.

one of the last i go to the 6 hundreds we went for so many walks and we'd always donaldson and take a look back. leave went home to look a cookie. yeah. because that is true stuff. well, it's nice to look back and it's important to remember everything that just happened and everything you've already modified. so see it was not supposed to of my husband and what she did, she, sophia, assigned to sophia, is someone who likes to laugh away her difficulties. i didn't think she was smiling when i 1st met her and to me. so here there was something looking beneath the surface intact was i'm the looks of this philosophy and i were always on the west to be searching for the right words and to express how she was feeling a defence discards. and i was pleasant to cut over time, she became a master and of that side. okay, so i know my stuff and i always say it's like in the danverse thing. so as our river starting to flow to withdrawal mem, this force and flu standards please. and to come with an ongoing cost and then came

bernard van and became bender of lou the bad the came around the corner, hitting the with a full, full with $1.00 of the splash image of depression. even close to a huge dog lying on your chest or stick. yes, exactly. and then you rock isn't commands like sit down and stay. yeah. yeah, yeah, that's right. the system advice don't to have to stop and you had that other character when you have the eating disorder. so i think was good hall this the calorie count or howard they're kind of you know, a lot of that kind of the incentive. as i said that you remember the line mccadden just click law high for high and he did oh yeah. and so on, move on. we set up

a kind of early warning system to allow sophia to recognize when it's getting dark and cold again. we've done decades to counteract that with the help of therapy position in terms of partition context, see these days for it. so she has much more resilience decision spending time. her slightly different mindset agents under the 4 vows that soon as you have towards, she's come to know that even the deepest emotional events because it is very difficult situations can be overcome. but you don't have any experience that's no one can take away from her. and it's something she now shares with others just hides yell from it and then we have all thomas, once we do not find the ones, it would be like if i became a thorough person to you and she always said that we could do it together. something to, i'm really touching me. that's hudson's, you'll say i have a great deal. so it isn't in my mind because she believed in me when i didn't believe myself. so slowly i'm super sick and she said, we do it some day. and now here i am. studying so i don't want to do is crazy because it costs the

pharmacy nowadays i look forward to coming home. it's also nice that i can be this happy again because for a while it was difficult for me to come home because it has nothing to do with my family and it was my room. so like then when i was feeling bad, i was usually altering my room this last month to month. yeah. and so even if so if i have my 1st sense of depression when i was 11, no, 1212, what stopped me, humming myself. was the youngest, as a light switch and disorder up cuz it was taught and then so fun in replacing the same disorders. i suppose. i always needed something like a mechanism to deal with what was going on inside of the main cause feeling is that

sense of emptiness in that? in the and so the big cold sophia, by monday often associated was always a very bright child. she wasn't afraid to because she would try anything. she had friends, she did well at school, hope she enjoyed her hobbies while i took the mocked. when do something, i've often wondered how we could have some thought if it's something was wrong. that's an issue. i asked her many times if she was okay us on this quote, so fee for bed. i would go to the mines to mountain top estate always say, well guess mom. everything's fine. yeah. yeah. moment i was reassured, for 2 months it's the fleeting. but you constantly reproach yourself for having overlooks. i'm saying this for bill for this one of us about saying what i don't. why doesn't tell you ever do this since the last guy was a fault for me? i made chocolate road yesterday and i was afraid for her life as well. and it

pulled the rug out from under my feet and a good tool. yeah, i was scared for her. i'm so scared to death. so yeah, you love it. when i do this for your birthdays, so that is why you did this, you know why? cuz you didn't want anything. you weren't there to protect it. how should i have to assume? no, it wasn't. i want to modify this my go, your sort of activity to the, to the is it helps with it. this is yeah. just to have to have somebody. yes. so it is. i said of them my family and friends. i wouldn't be here anymore. they, i'm speaking yes. hi, lindsey, it's less than makes me happy every time she laughs now because it's not something i take for granted. that's awesome. i'll be the shooting. always nice to see are in a good mood. i'm gonna have to have a good time together. i haven't because i just wasn't possible before about some dust fits. so we lived together and our relationship keeps getting better and

stronger. i'm very grateful. i'm just when i use my big stuff, but it's up to you and the content, i have a card hanging here that says everything will be good in the end. and if it's not good yet, and it's not the end. and as soon as i keep telling myself to deal with things as they come to always move forward from, it's going to support her and give her what she needs. and she must investigate mostly, but also to step back in and stay out of it. when she doesn't need to finish the boxes on the list for funding to i from the hi, how are you? good. and you know the coffee over the by the finish. one could hear me. yeah. you have the blanket. right

. that, you know? yeah. it's good. that's how i was worried. we didn't have one excuse item line that maxime is one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life of the and 5, we've been close for a very normal time. now at least 10 years. a. yeah, i'm very grateful for this is the cell phone is is in line, which is when things are bad. i might possibly talk to her about because it was difficult because we have to continue to choose life and time because it has to be an active decision every day as the and i didn't really feel that my life was worth living to have a. but i have to make the decision that i wanted to the success of those that super difficult. it's super, she's a, if we'd spend a day back then like today, all right, so i'm driving to this me having i'm taking a huge hole. king non fixes may be playing college with something either from what has been 9 costumes, peter as a full service of and wouldn't have given me any when the of the energy assistance

for life and how is that? i feel right now and then slide onto the part is just kind of screw this and send you the comments lovely on things that channel. let me know for me soon. mm hm. well then when should they go? past 10, maybe launch it for you. think is low cost, but as i'm crazy, just 4 years ago, i would have nothing on the snow, much oil on them, and now i don't have to get new muscle. you're looking kind of nice. oh, i thought that too much these young it's so nice and know also look like i'm does. i'm happy to the whole the different your foods, just something here. i don't even think about them and that way you know what? i'm so sure. as long as i remember the 1st time i was in hospital with you and what did you have to like to get some of those? uh for each of those have some is not just space. i know you said it was a far as i remember sitting there thinking. so if you just open them speed in your mouth, i was just to use it,

at least for them so they don't get upset. i'm just thinking of that. i just couldn't do it, we just knew i was have to solve a new file or that was the crazy time you owns that it makes it all the nicer that we can be here now, but it's no longer in issues. the scripts we can just sit here, eat together the carefree, and so i'm so grateful the whole so here's to keeping it that way, keeping it that way too. well, let's do sophia. now she's still much stronger than she used to be dead. stop. i think at some point she discovered the fighter within her head that you can really see that the money that's from just push the start off. that's it. i'm not moving. my. my board was a huge chunk of some of these and slips. and you see, i mean, she's so strong, the star full of life now obviously good as what i hope shall always be able to draw on the fighting spirit within her. and us often made and when times change and things get worse flushed of it, this is it. i hope she keeps it with her. stay strong and dear to keep asking for help bye to him. even when she knows she could do it by herself upwards. i shall steps, couldn't i want her to be and remain happy life. i want her to fulfill her dreams

and i want her to come out of all of this feeling stronger the extinguished cost, the type of coverage for. so i don't think you can imagine that if you haven't experienced those, we find that out on the match level, it is to see yourself in the future sitting somewhere. nothing has trudy being in the movement enjoying the day and not thinking for g. i don't feel anything. this doesn't smoke anything i mean to scottish scenarios today. i can say that i feel single so deeply and i'm ever so grateful for things. i never thought this day would come to a tech come that's. that's why i'm convinced absolutely convinced. i'm on the right in home, mostly signed for you guys. all right, the,

the, the

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