♪ >> tammy: welcome back to this special edition of "hannity." before we go i want to wish everyone a very merry christmas and a happy new year especially those serving our country abroad who are not able to be home for the holidays. please join us in prayers for israel and the jewish people all around the world. unfortunately that's all the time we have left for this evening. check out my column. have a wonderful weekend. gutfeld! is up next. [cheers and applause]

>> greg: yeah! yeah! yeah! [cheers] >> greg: thank you. thank you. thank you. that feels so good. it's friday. so you know what that means. let's welcome tonight's guest. she runs bikes and swims. anything to avoid the cops. save the world podcast, kennedy. [cheers] >> greg: he's the funniest thing to come out of new jersey since chris christie's diet coach. [applause] >> greg: as a former miss florida citrus she never blames the juice.

morgan ortega. and he's on the naughty list for eating santa's reindeer. former world heavyweight champion tyus. [cheers] >> greg: all right. before we get to some new stories let's do this. ♪ >> leftovers. >> greg: it's leftovers write read the jokes we didn't use this week. as always, it's my first time reading them so if they suck we'll sent someone to a strip club and have a tap dance. first-up, according to a new study humans may be fueling global warming by breathing, in response one high level washington official said i guess that means i'm off the hook. [laughter] >> greg: this week a delaware man was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his car

into president biden's motorcade. the first thing joe did was ask the secret service if the president was okay. [laughter] >> greg: luckily after the accident, the president regained unconsciousness. [laughter] >> greg: that is funny. no, no, no. i don't need to fish for your applause. jessie smollett was spotted in public this week reading matthew perry's addiction memoir. he's now planning his own memoir entitled matthew perry attacked me. >> jesus. [laughter] >> greg: didn't think i could get a joke out of that, did you? the new automatic with a man movie opens in theaters. customers are told not to eat half an hour before watching it.

wow! >> on the phone. >> greg: that was -- that's reverse laughter. the pistons have now lost 25 straight basketball games. what's a streak basketball game, asks the wnba? i don't know what that means. a new dating study revealed the number one turn-off for straight women is men who identify as maga republicans and the number one turn-off for straight men, pe penises. [laughter] >> that is correct. >> greg: researchers say barbie lacks diversity. for example, there are no visibly disabled barbies. oh, yes, says ken, i was born without a penis. i mean, that's a disability when you think about it.

scientists in alaska game they had a 20-minute conversation with a whale. apparently its first words were up next on "the view. " [applause] >> greg: commuters in the california bay area have been puzzled for months over a rotting corps smell. but they say it's nothing to be concerned about now that they have didn't pointed the source. [applause] >> greg: scientists say you should sleep naked even when it cold out as it's better for your body. you know who also says you should sleep naked? your neighbor frank. >> i have a neighbor named frank. wow!

>> greg: megan rapino calls playing on the u.s. soccer team the worst job in the world. that's news to brian kilmeade's intern. nasa streamed a video of a cat back to earth from nearly 19 million miles away. it's part of a project to develop a lunar rover that can watch you take a [ bleep ] [laughter] >> greg: that's my favorite. because that's what cats do. video of a democrat aide was posted online of him having gay sex in one of the capital's meeting rooms. it's the first time someone on capitol hill willingly gave up their seat. hospital workers' rant went viral after she received a baked potato after a christmas bonus. it's a christmas miracle said

one man. sad, really. and finally, this week a baby elephant was born at waltdisney world weighing in at 218 pounds, beating the previous record. [applause] now, to the news. the "washington post" strains to blame trump for injured brains. wappo just published another ridiculous article desperately trying to link trump to something evil. this time violence and injuries in youth football, which is ironic because if anyone is on steroids it's their owner jeff bezos. he says trump is to blame for your kid's football injury because of the politicalization of the concussion crisis and how it's forging deeper divisions between those who support youth football and those who don't. i've got to say it, if they can

pull that out of their ass they should really be drug mules. says one egg head, there seems to be a very disturbing possibility that who your dad voted for could influence your risk for a very serious ailment or injury. yes, that's rich. suddenly liberals are worried about brain damage. [applause] wappo also discovered that students and states that went for trump in 2020 played high school football at higher rates than in states that voted for joe biden. the point being, i guess, if a high school football player's father voted for trump he's more likely to get hurt because conservative parents don't give a crap about their children's safety. remind me to check back on that in a few years when those caring liberals are confronted by sonnets they neutered with chemical surgery and repeat viewings of the gilmour girls. but i get the point. vote for biden, your kid won't

get a football injury. yes, but he might be stabbed by a twice deported murderer or a vaccine that destroys your hurt. conservative families are more likely to have sons who play tackle football which means liberal families are more likely to have sons on girls' swim seems. [applause] >> greg: after all your son's place isn't on the gridiron but in the girl's locker room where he's tucking more than just a football. yes. that's disgusting, i know. so kennedy, this is -- it's not just an example of going after trump. it's suggesting by you supporting trump, you're complicit in even harming your family. >> but it also states that we have all agreed that football is horrible, and you will get injured and you will be concussed, and therefore it's an awful game because we, the

liberal elite, have decided that. that's not necessarily the case. there are a lot of kids who play football because they love the sport and hope to go on to college. you can make money playing college football now like we've never had so much excitement about the transfer portal and because of the nil and the big decision surrounding that kid might actually make money sooner than if they go pro. but they are infant sizing black and latino kids who want to play football. can you believe knit there are more hispanic kids than ever playing football. good for them. maybe their parents did what serena and venus' dad did, where are the guys making money? football, i'll have my son start that in high school and maybe that will lead to a career and some money down the road. >> greg: good point. vince, i think you could do, if you were a fair media, you could apply this same logic to any biden supporter or biden voter. you're more likely to abort a baby. you're more likely to euthanize a relative.

you're more likely to burn down a business. >> that's the thing about this and really kennedy set it up, football is american. it's part of our american fiber. right now anything that's american, let's trash it because that's what we want to do. we want to break everything down. super bowl sunday is winter's fourth of july. and the other thing that the article brings up, it talks about disadvantaged kids gravitating toward football. if disadvantaged kids are gravitating toward trump, who is a country club guy, and all of the rich people are gravitating toward democrats, then isn't that really the problem? maybe democrats instead of screaming at the problem should be trying to fix the problem and try to figure out why are these disadvantaged kids not looking at us but a guy like donald trump? fix your problem, don't scream at the problem. >> greg: exactly. morgan, it seems to me it's just another example of what's going to happen for the next year. anything related to trump is

going to be deemed destructive. like you, for example. >> it's true. i was the spokesperson. it still gets to me. it's been since 2015 and the extent that he still lives rent-free in people's heads. this is an important article, right? because there are concussions in football but to think that the "washington post" sat around and thought i have a great angle to college sports, trump. they are not sitting around obsessively talking about joe biden every time you have dinner but i do have a theory on this, too, something similar to what you guys are saying. liberals don't like -- they don't like to define dependers. they don't like things that are' male or female. everything is fluid according to them. football, i'm not the resident football expert at fox news but it's very male, very type a, but what i am an expert on, as you

said, even something like that, very feminine, fits the stereotype, anything that fits a stereotype of male to female is bad and anything bad is trump's fault. >> greg: that's a good point. this could be just about gender. what say you, tyus, you played a lot of ball. >> i don't know when it was, was it the '50's when they stopped allowing you to punch people in the face. >> greg: yes. 1953. >> i think we need to bring that back. >> greg: applauding violence, this is my kind of audience. >> my audience, too. thanks for coming, st. nick. this is the echo chamber. because nobody whose kids plays any competitive sports gives a [ bleep ] about what they are talking about. if you play baseball, you can get hit in the head with the ball.

if you walk fast to the kitchen on a saturday morning with sleep in your eye you could fall and bust your nose open. this is the bulldozer parent. these are the kids that want to raise area sons to pee sitting down. >> greg: what's wrong with that? >> did you it for medical purposes. you lost a lawsuit trying to get toilets dropped three feet to the floor. we even got you a little toddler foot thing. >> greg: the squatty poti. >> but we wanted him to feel like a big man. all the tough guys sit down when they pee. it's a new thing, just don't tell anyone i told you. the point is they say these things because they can't fathom seeing more trump-like men coming into this world. guys who are willing to take risks, get beat up, say the wrong thing, be men. it's anti-men. we went through the whole thing where they want to steal our women away. we have the mulvaneys and woman

face, and now it's, my god, if you don't do something to stop these guys from playing sports, keep them out of jail, they learn things like discipline and respect and even if it doesn't lead to a career in football, it keeps them in school. gives them opportunities for college. helps them to understand what a hard day's work is. >> structure. >> there is nothing tougher in the summertime than having 45 pounds of plastic on with an old guy blowing a whistle telling you, two more gassers, and gassers is not hurting the environment. it's when you run up and down a hundred yards back and forth. it builds character and also guys going to the military from there. so they are against everything. it's the very fabric of what it is to be an american man. so on behalf of all of us -- [applause and cheers] >> call your local congressman, and let's reinstate the punch in the face. >> greg: yes. [laughter] >> when i was a kid everything gave us concussions, riding

bikes, playing in parks, parents. >> greg: that's true. >> you weren't best friends until you concussed each other. >> greg: you can't spell concuss without u.s. >> i thought you were going to say us. >> greg: i did, too, but then i thought u.s. up next, drivers couldn't resist spreading cheer with their fists. [applause] (♪) my plaque psoriasis was so bad...

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♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: holiday bells were ringing so they came out swinging. their season's greetings roadside beatings. come in the form of a massive brawl along a highway that involved an overturned truck, some wooden sticks and lots of punching. no word if they were fighting over the conflict in the middle east or if swift is truly in love with kelsey, i'm not sure but apparently they all knew each other which is how it is in long island, right? i don't know much about fights but luckily i know a guy. >> friday night fights with

tyus. [chuckle] >> greg: take it away. >> i'm live getting ready to call this fight live down the line. we're joining the action already in progress. here we have what appears to be an upside-down car and a excite by two guys who are already out of shape, already tired. he has the stick. he's not quite using it. here comes the guy, referee, no, outside interference, here we go. two more guys who are scared of contact. he's got the stick. he looks like he's in a piano contest because he can't see and he's swinging his stick. what is this, a clown car? how many guys are going to come out. it uneven. three on five. no one -- he swung and hit his friend. the other guy is still hitting his friend. what is this a magic show? another guy magically appears. everybody is running around but nobody is hitting and those on the other side of traffic, it's the middle of the day but apparently it's a full moon. traffic on the other side had

come to a complete stop. 47 punches thrown, none landed but more abs than a donkey festival for everybody. where is somebody to run and pull these pants up? this is more crack than at a hunter biden birthday party. this might be the greatest worst fight in the history of sports. i can't take it anymore. back to you, greg. [applause] >> greg: nicely done. nicely done. all right. i'm going to go to somebody who gets in a lot of fights. morgan. >> i could fight better than that. pathetic. >> greg: in the military -- >> i am. >> greg: i was watching jack and it drives me crazy. the women that are in the military fight like they are -- they weigh 110 pounders and beating up bikers. can you fight? >> no, i was hired for my brain,

not my bronze. i would be in trouble. although i can fight better than those guys, that just made white men everywhere look bad. that was really pathetic. also, i think that video is an example of why women live longer. i would have at least gotten my heel out. have a good stiletto and beat someone. >> greg: i think there were two kids still in the car strapped in car seats, one on the side and one on the back. >> i'm sure they got in the car and said, don't tell your mother. [laughter] >> greg: vince, you're a judge. >> i was a judge. >> greg: you were a judge, but, have you ever been involved in a brawl? >> unfortunately i have. i'm italian and every year christmas eve we play board games. and we get into a brawl every year. we make that look like the ball pit at chuck e. cheese in my

family during a pictionary game. it gets ugly. it get ugly. [applause] >> we have the same grandma. >> greg: they were all related, kennedy, which is interesting. so -- maybe they were all driving to the same place. >> it's a very stressful time of year. obviously, yes, they were going to vince's house to play pictionary. they knew it wouldn't end well. they figured if they beat the crap out of each other before they got there they could save themselves a little more pain and suffering down the road. who do you sue at this point? i know three of them were arrested, and tyus did a masterful job calling play-by-play, but if cops are looking at this, who do you decide -- how do you decide, rather, who to charge? >> whoever shows the most butt.

>> where do they get the sticks? what happened -- >> that's what was wondering. >> are they working for california closets? are they like the crossbar of shirt closets? i couldn't quite figure that out and the ball pit? male strip club i went to in vegas. very fun. >> greg: what's the best advice for someone in a brawl because when you focus on one guy, somebody could come in from the side. >> i'm glad you asked this. so what normally happens, when i was bouncing clubs at one time i got jumped by five guys and when they came -- >> i did, too. >> i think it was over you, actually, and i always made one rule. phi guys, you're probably not going do win. pick one guy out and just go all out. luckily for me the first guy i hit exploded. so the other four had already committed to the ass whipping and i took my time with each one of them so i got lucky in that

case but you always just -- one guy will have a really bad day but road rage is funny because the road rage stops in the car, and the real you shows up when you get out of the car. i living in tampa driving my truck and we have a lot of critters that cross the road. this turtle was crossing the road, stopped my truck, put the hazard on. wept around, and when i went to pick him up, the guy in the car was beeping. oh, my god, and as i turned to him, and i said what? his wife gets out? are you going to do something? >> bit -- shut up. get in the car. get in the car. so sorry about this. get in the car and as they are driving by she's like in shock and he looks at me like, have a nights day. >> greg: there you go. >> that was educational. >> true story. the turtle was safely placed in a pond.

[applause] >> greg: the turtle's name mitch mcconnell. >> gave him a little frozen thing on the street, too. >> greg: up next, they didn't know how an ape was sired so morey was hired. >> if you would like tickets to see gutfeld! go to fox.com and click on the link to join our audience. it's where we experiene the excitement of opening day. it's where we caught our personal best. and this tree is where it all began. this christmas start traditions under your tree... share the tradition of visiting santa's wonderland at bass pro shops and cabela's. and get your free photo with santa. bass pro shops and cabela's.

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primate papa puzzle they did what any seven respecting specialist would do get the results announced. roll it. >> now, we want to thank the denver zoo for everything they do but this is really important. when it comes to the orangutan, 4-month-old cisca, you are the father. [cheers] >> greg: needless to say this was the huge relief for hunter biden. >> greg: but when the male orangutan was told he was the dad using sign language he replied good luck getting child support, bitch. i think the big news here is

that maury -- is alive. >> i would have done this completely different. i would have actually had like a tiger, a panda bear, a zoo keeper and then the orangutan, all on the set at the same time. so this way they are all looking at each other. the panda bear, chinese panda bear -- and then, when you finally announce it, then the orangutan, even though, you know, he finds out -- he's a little upset. i suspected the zoo keeper but the tiger, too, this is getting around. we've got to control the situation here. >> greg: you know, kennedy, should we be teaching apes about contraceptives? and can we blame this on joe biden? >> if you're asking about hunter biden as the ape, then yes. if you're talking about a christmas stocking, and i was thinking, please wear one. you know what? for the sake of everyone else that you might engage with, wear

five. just to protect the herd. ultimately. yes, i thought this was a little bit naughty and it reminded me when kat and i were on safari in south africa. we saw a beautiful female leopard and the ranger, interesting story about her, she mates with a male leopard and his son. so it was like, salacious. we were driving down the road and i would see the male leopard, the ranger goes that's the dad, and kat leans over and goes, sir, sir, how does it feel knowing that your son is screwing your mistress? >> i speak for father's everywhere, i would say i'm proud of him. i raised him right. >> this is a whole genre of leopard porn that actually has that topic. >> greg: tyus, was this in any way creepy? >> only that it reminded me of certain points of my life.

[laughter] >> hey, you big gorilla, you're the father. >> greg: terrible. >> same look, both of them had the same look i had. >> greg: don't you think -- >> are you kidding me? >> greg: is it impossible that morey -- >> i tried all the possibilities, and it was me. dna thing is pretty accurate. >> greg: do you think he stumpfed into a new gimmick? this could revitalize his career? >> or get him killed because i'm telling you right now, if that was my envelope -- king kong got nothing on me. >> i'll be at the top of my household with what's left of his corps. >> greg: morey, how do you feel about orangutans being born out of wedlock. it reminded me of my childhood. i was a very sheltered child.

>> you had bad experience with a orangutan. >> when i was sick and no one at home i would watch jerry springer and i loved so much about the world from watching those two shows. i don't know why but it was kind of cathartic to me. >> to be clear nothing happened with an orangutan? >> not since i gave up tequila. >> greg: i have an image. >> remember, orangutan sexually assaulted julia roberts, remember that? she did that show in borneo. remember that? it was so great. >> there is a lot of action at that zoo. >> greg: exactly. >> like the capitol building. >> greg: we've got to move on. s we're tasked with answering questions you asked. [applause] to raise a toast and gather together, to wrap up the fun and round up the gang. to help get you ready, your aspen dental denture team

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in. [applause] >> greg: yes, mailing it in. ohio license asks what kind of name is that, what awesome christmas present did you really want as a kid and what did you get instead? morgan? >> i was in love with a little mermaid and i wanted a little mermaid bed and my mom would not get it for me and i remember that year i got a bunch of clothes, which i would appreciate it now but i was like nine and i really wanted a mermaid bed. i survived somehow. >> greg: you can have mine. >> greg: that's gross. kennedy? >> i wanted the snow cone-making machine. >> greg: so did i. >> with the flavor and shovel thing. >> greg: what was the reason for not getting it? >> it was too fun, i guess. it would have brought too much joy into the house. i wanted that thing so badly. >> greg: it's just ice, mom and dad. but, i mean, it was just ice. and you put syrup on it.

god, i just thought of that. >> maybe that's why i turned out this way. i didn't get the slushy maker. you've got to speak and spell. loser. what was that thing, etch and sketch. that was terrible. vince? >> i wanted a atari and i ended up getting a two play station, a poor man's version of atari. everyone is making pacman and people who don't get the correlation, when you go to polo you go to marshal's, it's like a guy just riding a donkey. so i had the poor man's version of atari and nobody wanted to come to my house so i just played against the computer. >> greg: that is sad. tyus? [laughter] >> i wanted a dad.

[you a] [[ -- >> greg: should we just move on to the next question. >> you thought i wasn't going to ruin it. that was for you, tim. >> greg: all right. allen astonish asks if hunter biden was on your christmas present list what would you buy for him? could you just do the same answer, tyus? >> no, no, if he's going to be at my house we'll have a good type. i'll give him a ton of crack and a laptop and sit back and enjoy the festivities. and bring my children around, and be like, that could be your dad so the next thing i tell you to do something do you want to go with hunter? do you want to go with hunter? >> greg: kennedy? >> i would get him a restraining order and a black light. >> greg: that's nice. >> could you imagine, that thing

would light up like a studio 54 disco. >> greg: that would be your christmas tree. all different colors. rotating. >> like something exploded on the wall. [laughter] >> greg: vince? >> i get those ancestry and me kits, this way i can stop dating family members. you actually know who is part of the tree. >> greg: morgan? >> i'm going to help him with the one thing that he's good at and get him some paint brushes. >> i was going to say i would get everybody in his family hazmat suits. >> greg: those are -- okay, never mind. >> let's just all pitch in and get him crack. it will be so much fun. >> greg: talk about a white christmas. >> we'll all get jobs in china if we play our cards right. >> greg: we've got time for one more. what movie did you watch when you were younger that caused a real-life long -- real-life long

phobia? oh. i never went camping after "deliverance," and i hated banjos. i heard banjo music i went under the bed. what about you, morgan, were you stained by any -- >> i hated clowns. was it "it," the scary movie, with all the clowns? that freaked me out. >> greg: i think people just blame clowns, vince, because it's easy. >> i like clowns. >> greg: they bring joy to kids in the hospitals. >> and they scare the hell out of kid because those were the movies that got me, horror movies with little kids in them. every scary movie has a little kid in it. >> greg: or they have twins. scary movies with twins and they are always singing, little kids signaturing. >> it's why i never had kids. there was always a scary movie,

you should have watched a lot more horror movies. >> i just never planned on keeping them. >> some were like a sixth sense, don't sit there. dead grandpa is there. i see dead people. yes, i see foster parents. i don't need that in my life. >> greg: kennedy? >> the exorcist. as soon as i heard that, far and away, i still to this day, i can't think about it, i can't watch it, i will never watch that movie, i don't want my children to watch it. >> greg: what an amazing film. it's an incredible film. >> way too effective. i met linda blair. >> greg: did she throw up on you? >> she did, but she's the friend that bought my outfit. >> greg: and tyus. >> the empire strikes back. >> greg: why? >> because luke's father found him in a galaxy far, far away and mine was one city over.

[applause] >> i feel bad laughing. >> that's the point, laugh. >> greg: that's a great line. >> i am the father. what? his dad found him. my mom said just keep watching the movie. >> greg: i think, the exorcist was for me, i was going to say "deliverance," but i'll go with the exorcist. >> what was the movie where they ate all the people? >> smiley green. >> he was like -- not the closet. in the glass box and he ate everybody. >> silence of the lambs. there should be a game show, guess what morgan is trying to describe? >> blazing saddles was enough for me. >> greg: i had this other thing, i don't know where it's going. all right. we've got to move on. up next, they want a plastic toy icon to put a medical mask on. [applause]

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( ♪ )

>> greg: a story in five words. [applause] >> greg: five words, dr. barbie, not diverse enough. all right, morgan, a study examined nearly a hundred medical-related barbies, i didn't know there were that many, found they didn't meet real-life ppe standards, they weren't wearing masks or gloves. >> because they are barbies. >> greg: exactly. but instead they were wearing high heels and they had loose long hair. should women be allowed to be doctors? [laughter] >> greg: if the dolls can't follow the standards, i mean what about real women? >> i always want to go to a woman's surgeon, like when i had my c-section, women are detailed oriented. men will slap it together, sew

and be good. for surgery, women all the way. but barbies, of course they wear high heels. it's like aspirational. no one is aspiring to be ugly. >> greg: i feel like all female doctors should wear high heels. clip that, please. kennedy. they are pushing for more diverse barbies. so be like sports medicine barbies, surgery barbie what do you think? >> i think doctors have way too much time on their hands and i blame obama care. this is what healthcare providers are really worried about, you need to go back to work. you need to treat sick people. you need to stop worrying about blond dolls with giant cans. >> if i only could. >> greg: what do you think? >> i'm going to stop her right there because we're on the same wavelength and you'll agree with what i was about to say. if i was working for barbie i would give bud light and target

a call and say, how is in a woke working out for you guys? you want to kill america's favorite toy right now? go right ahead. put some masks on it, woke it up, go to town, and our new line of harbie will come out without him. >> greg: that's a hairy barbie. is there white privilege? >> considering the dolls that i'm dealing with, i would like to see more diverse dolls. the inflatable kind have come a long way. i would like to see them be a -- listen, i love this. i know a lot of people don't like disney. i went to disney, i went to the china pavilion, i asked for the wuhan place. try to get as many diverse dolls and toys as possible. i think it would be better for everybody to be able to play

with the stuff. >> greg: that's an enlightened view. we reached out to the researcher and she stood by the work. i think she did it for fun but she actually did the real research which is kind of crazy. she actually looked at a hundred barbie dolls. i didn't know there were that many. many my collection i've got 78. >> why do they keep swallowing their heads? >> greg: they are hard to get out. at least that's what the e.r. tells me. all right. this is what happens when we linger. don't go away and we'll be right back. [applause] ♪ today, my friend you did it, you did it, you did it... ♪ centrum silver is now clinically shown to support cognitive health in older adults. it's one more step towards taking charge of your health.

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