>> unfortunately, that is of th time we have left this evening. thank you to sean hannity and his entire team. we have a new year coming up everything is possible and we can do this together, don't doubt that. check out my column and have a great weekend. ♪

♪ >> hello, america. i am jimmy fay locke, king of late-night and greg bashes my wardrobe a lot, but i am like greg, i can't broke legs from we have a great show for you tonight with a panel. it is friday, the tradition on gutfeld as we open with leftovers but seeing is it's th last episode of 2023 the producers agreed to let me shar my final thoughts on the year i it's okay with you.

>> to be honest 2023 was a bit of a dumpster fire, but it did teach us a lot of things for instance, it taught us that thi was not the customers meant whe he asked a bartender for a beer with some nuts. [cheers and applause] the craziest part is they gave him a commemorative can to celebrate one year of womanhood. so technically speaking they gave beer to a one -year-old girl. i'm not sure that's what they meant by drink responsibly, but we are vr. don lemon told us it's possible to suck so bad even cnn will fire you. lemon, if you remember got into

hot water after saying that nikki haley was past her prime. anyone who tells women over 50 are past they're prime has neve seen my search history. but second, don lemon, you endorsed kamala harris, we'll ask your opinion on women once we get oj's take on marriage. taylor swift and travis kelsey taught us it's still legal to like white people. who knew. who knew? we are still a thing. that mayor of boston at christmas party were no white people were allowed, but as racist moves go, they are at a five on a scale of 1-horror. harvard's president came under fire after failing to conduct anti-semitism had a disastrous appearance before we know why she plagiarized the rest of her

speeches. although in her defense, she didn't think she could write fo herself because as a hamas support her, she didn't know women were allowed in libraries. can we have security look at th groner's on that one? pro- hamas recipients of that joke,. as for taylor and travis a given , this couple is everywhere . lots of football fans are annoyed. it's nice to see someone pretending to be a chief beside this lady. jimmy, so silly. pro- palestinian protesters tal to she don't have to be smart t get into an ivy league college freight if there was any doubt about how dumb these protesters were, it all went out the windo when fake confronted alec baldwin about ending the bombings in gaza. earth to protesters, alec baldwin couldn't get a cease-fire on his own movie set.

[cheers and applause] i doubt he's going to come home things down in the middle east, you know what i'm saying? and all due respect to a shooting star. speaking of movies, barbie was the big winner at the box offic this year raking in $1.4 billio worldwide. republicans loved it because margo robbie is a smoke show. they found it surrounded by underage girls without flying all the way to epstein island. coincidentally, barbie brought in more money at the box office than any film since titanic which continued to shatter records this year.

jimmy. they are just jokes, everybody is going to be okay. there is no way any of you were rich enough to know anybody on that subject, so relax. but while we're talking money, we should mention a 2023 saw a when the biggest mega millions jackpot in history at $1.6 billion lottery officials say the man tried to remain anonymous and set up an llc and delivered to hide the money. he's reaching out to the expert i'm on hiding money in delaware. [cheers and applause] so silly. it wasn't in the your and politics, donald trump became the first president to become criminally indicted and joe biden became the first person i history to make a sign language interpreter shrugged. a true story, at the state of the union his second to last thought was now is the time to choose between unity and end it

estates of the union so they al clap, but the sign language interpreter goes to signing to google because she said i don't know what this means. come to think of it it might've been the sign language interpreters cocaine at the white house after all that. as for trump looking back on th historic day of his indictment, if we're being honest the shocking thing was watching the president make it up the steps of the plane on the first try. 2023 trout is that in early anyone can literally write a book. i'm going. >> us out of this mess, shut up. when you thought the barcoding get lower, now let's get real, you should buy her book because she's profoundly talented she she's a best-selling author. you know why she should buy my book? just you can see how out of place it is on the fox news

books website. go to that site. the first book is shannon bream women of the bible speak. harris faulkner, a kitten faith can move mountains. i don't know what it's doing there, but i'm going to buy it and check it out. you've got to hit the republicans, kids, that's how comedy works. the house of representatives voted to expel the holocaust survivor turn astronaut and let's be clear though, santos lied way too much freight you know it's bad when lauren beaufort says you're inking our chain. republicans were upset that the

performed this except in public. they were angry she didn't show it to kindergarten kids. coincidentally she did it durin a screening of beetlejuice whic is not the show in town. if you don't believe me, you've never seen what beetlejuice looks like. finally, it to other cap to new jersey senator bob menendez who said it is possible to get the gold bars out of nigeria. millions of americans have received spending bills over th years, but not many, insure he was criminally indicted afterwards, but he hasn't been forced to resign because of 202 got goddess anything is that liberals have no problems with men going for the gold as long as they take it from a woman.

let's welcome tonight's guest, she would be the nicest box on the shelf, julie banderas is in the house. he is a kick has comedian that looks like the guy that hunter buys crack from, jim florentine. he always kills onstage and not just because he looks like a civil war general, tyler fisher. for new year's resolution is to be less awesome, new york times best selling author, kat timpf. and the crowd goes wild. when you look back on 2023, which you keep it would you regift? >> i would regift it. like you don't give 2023 to anyone you have any respect for. i would give it to my ex-husband

. >> 2023 is the fruitcake of you spirit. >> i liked that don lemon story i just want to address that, he is calling nikki haley out of her prime, he is past his prime i just wanted to put that out there. >> florentine. as national delete touring community, people like to say this is the best time to be there is so, but stupid stuff t be going on. >> thin people are afraid to laugh at something especially with the bud life stuff. >> not this crowd, give them credit. >> oh my gosh. you cannot offend this crowd, w tried everything. we opened by clubbing it may be sealed. >> i love that the only thing they were offended bye-bye was you saying i was a bad writer.

>> and you know i didn't know that. >> i love you all, come over after barrett get if you guys like that government is going t love this bar. but it is, it's a stupid time t be alive. >> someday guys and the front, you need to tell me something? mice will get it out of in the open right now. >> as a comedian, aren't you thankful for the decision-makin process of the parent company. >> i think barbie make a big mistake, they should have dylan mulvaney play barbie because he is 90 percent plastic at this point, they could've saved money , he could have saved barbie and ken. in then they only played it on the gaza strip and they don't let all white women in. they are going to combine it al into one time-saving thing.

>> didn't he kind of destroyed the gender pay gap, he was he was a woman for your and made $10 million for it. >> i wasn't as into talking about that thing, however i think it's interesting that the chose, they wanted to have a trans person for their ad, they went male to female trans perso and not the other way around. they could have done about 100 days of being broke, it is a br brand, as a woman who is boring four in a woman and is still i wouldn't miss out on opportunit like that because it's like no one who is kmp is drinking bud light. regardless of gender. that's where i think the bands grew up they try to placate the people who don't partake in wha they're doing and that is just stupid. >> that podcast they said that, she did a podcast where she sai

she thought the consumer that chose the product was disgusting , but it was all about business and she had never poin said i actually care about tran people, so businesses are businesses, their aim is to mak money but what is shocking to m is when business people think businesses care about your. >> they don't care about you at all. >> onto our commercial break. didn't disney learned that message? you're supposed to do what make you money. they go to disney because they want to pay $32 for turkey leg and marvel at the fat people on scooters, isn't that why you go? so do you think this was the year florentine that's going to scare company straight? >> think so after that bud ligh thing because they're still dow 25 percent variant is left to g to the liquor store and just seeing the bud light stacked to the ceiling.

my car once got stolen and if you live in the city alike just once, really? my cart once got stolen in the city. them stealing your car, but i'm not a dirt bike, i'm not going to listen to the color me bad mix summer of 62. >> why would anybody want to us deal toyota camry? gave the former new york city cabdriver i've had thousands of women in my backseat technicall speaking. before we go a quick reminder, my new book counsel concert dictionary comes out. it's an agency guide about how to take back some fun in our woke world. look at me, i need all the help i can get. up next, the plan to keep trump off the ballot is as subtle as mallet.

are you tired of clean clothes that just don't smell clean? downy unstoppables in wash scent booster keep your laundry smelling fresh way longer than detergent alone. get 6x longer-lasting freshness plus odor production with downy unstopables. try for under $5.

♪ >> there it is. they are bringing the ballot inmate to sabotage drums campaign. secretary of state sheena bellows removed former presiden trump from the primary ballot proving stephen king isn't thei biggest lefty idiot. is expected to be ruled on by the u.s. supreme court in the coming weeks for it as soon as judge kavanaugh finishes his game of beer pong. she said that she isn't rare while defending her decision. >> i am so mindful and it is unprecedented, nope secretary o state has ever deprived a presidential candidate of ballo access based on the 14th amendment.

and no presidential candidate has ever engaged insurrection. and been disqualified under section 13 of the 14th amendment . come on, translation we've seen the biden poll numbers, we don' believe him when he says he can beat president reagan. but not all states are getting caught up and the call to remov trump from the primary ballot after two states were unsuccessful california certified the list of candidate which does include trump. oddly also on the california ballot are these men. they are not as shriveled as jo and bernie. florentine, i come to you first. you kind of do you look like a guy that started the capital, let's be honest, which i love about you. >> thank you. >> this is so brazenly political

. you can't overthrow the government. if you are the guy in charge of the government at the time. he was president, wet, is he overselling himself? >> that's like okay, so cnn say it wasn't insurrection, so that means he's guilty. >> the thing is again to your points, because he wasn't charged or convicted of this crime, this is the equivalent o eden removing him from the ballot from something he did in a dream. >> even gavin newsom who said this is illegal, it got to have him on the ballot, that is gavi newsom coming out and saying that. >> that is california, is this not prove, is this not proof that this is just a partisan move? >> i think it's great to. it actually applies to my

regular life, any time i meet somebody in person it's guilty until proven innocent. it is true brady have to prove to me you're innocent so i gues that's what's happening with trump. i've never been a juror before either, but if i was a jerk, i would think this would such an awful president, he wasn't even charged with insurrection so it's not up to these democratic leaders to make decisions as to whether or not he's been convicted or not for something he was never actually charged on . ted cruz put it perfectly when he said this is opening pandora's box and if god forbid a republican governor out there we're to come forward and say w want to take joe biden off the ballot, what do you think would happen? that would not be allowed, it would never get to the supreme court. this fact that the supreme cour has to do with this bs is ridiculous. >> let me ask you this, captain. the argument is they are trying

to save democracy by destroying democracy. is not this equivalent of me protecting your house from an arsonist by burning it down? >> kind of. it's also one of these trump is a very rich powerful person wit a hot wife and millions of people who are just devoted and love him, and with stuff like this they managed to than somehow turned that guy into a victim right clicks that is the one card he should not be able to play, right? they also know how much he love to get out there at these rallies and talk about all the ways that the system is against them, do they not know that? they just added so much more time to his set. there is no way obviously as everyone said that this is constitutional, that there's an legal justification for this an

it's absurd that they are sayin that they're doing it for democracy. of thing for democracy, you hav to move this one person, save democracy, it's all observed, he's probably like yes, more. how did he not see that at this point? how did he not see that? >> aren't they doing him favor by taking him off the ballot? >> everyone in maine, just like me and my funny friend, but we called that resting january 6 face. it's more free press, he loves it. they've given me millions and free press clement millions and free press, rights, and the republicans are all saying they're going to take their names off their ballots, it

sounds like a delicious indian dish, and more press, more press . you can't say that sir, you can't say that, i just said that . i just said that. >> you're trump impression is s good you're now on a government lot watchlist. i think newsom said that becaus he wasn't going to win, california anyway. but it is true, it's just more ammo. you think he likes his? >> i think he loves that. he was on truth social today tweeting or whatever you call it , and he loved it and ate absolutely follow him in the loved it. the more that they start to com by on him the more popular he gets. ivan is handing him the

presidency. needs to worry about himself no just walking upstairs, remembering how to read, they are that new rocky horror picture shows in that there everyone there knows every word to the whole show, the light broker, but we can't go to the bathroom they're about to do locker up, be back after this. up next, not allowed to show that he is well endowed. >> i've always wanted to work, this time around we had the job of mentoring

♪ [cheers and applause] >> he showed off his knob, now he is out of a job. the university of wisconsin chancellor has been fired after it was revealed he filmed video with his wife and posted them

online. i will pause now so everyone at home can look at these. the school's president said in recent days we learned of specific conduct by that has subjected the reputation with her in. his actions were abhorrent whic is a fancy way of saying, but unlike his video participants the chancellor isn't taking thi lying down. claiming this is a free-speech issue. putting out that legal consensual doesn't violate any university policies. should he be out of a job? or is something more he should do to get a better grade? listen to the perverts he got that joke right away. some of you were like what does it mean? i don't get it. tyler i'm going to come to you first. it's a civil war called the blu and the gray. if this was not straight was there any way they would fire

him? >> absolutely not great it's also funny that now you can get fired quicker for doing than fo supporting a genocide of jewish people. i thought maybe if it was like hamas themed, he wouldn't have got fired. may be it would be called something like from the river t the i'm not sure, but that is a idea. >> that is not weird that a liberal college doesn't want professors doing porn. >> the weirdest thing about thi story was i had to research it at work which my search history from during the show is just absurd, jonathan turley wrote about it, he did and he thinks he could potentially have a cas on the grounds of the first amendment that it is a public university, so he has the right

to freely express himself. i agree that honestly, there is a lot more disgusting things happening on college campuses than man banging his own wife. i think that could necessarily have a lot of money on that case . they sign up where the only fans . he clearly wasn't trying to hid it pretty advertised for it on youtube. he didn't just want people to watch him have sex with his wife, but he needed people to watch. >> i will come to you. >> okay. if you were in a college charging somebody a quarter of million dollars first gender studies, should you be lecturin us unscrewing anyone?

>> probably not. probably not. i thought it was sweet though. there married and they are having sex. i think that is inspirational for all that would be brides an grooms out there. he's not having an affair, he i having it with his wife, i thin he is a role model quite frankl considering most of the presidents and he is an exemplary example of what you should be what you should want to grow up to be when you're a married man. to get it's probably because th vote to oust was unanimous, everybody was like honoring a miserable. their husbands our cheating on them. they are good. she is no skinny mini so she is banging her even after that burst of baby weights. i'm just saying i think as a good man.

>> florentine. between you and me, what percentage of the tv audience when we said it was wisconsin professor put out a looked out. >> 90 percent, easily. whenever they are in the news for everything, no one reads past the first line of the sentence they could have died and you're looking up a video within 30 seconds and then you have this all ethical debate over what do i do know that i'm watching this video because the our dead. i just wonder if this guy sound like he's cool, supposedly in the article he already stepped out before they fired him. we don't actually read the article,. >> judging by the video, it was not his decision to pull out.

>> look, he stepped down from his position which no one knew the position was doggy style. >> here's the thing, i'll go back to you. it's a tradition, it's very clichéd that college professors do hook up with students so that's just a thing. >> where was i when they were hooking up with the students? i'm too short. by the waco, but you can lose weight, you can't gain height. but, i mean if it was with the students, everybody would be going to that college, i think you should do one video with th student and then it would be skyhigh. we would be applying next month. >> we would be storming the place. is someone who has been saddled with student debts, it is nice

to see somebody besides the kid getting the shaft. stop it. stop it. before we go, come see my life shows next year. can't get that of march 1st. the show gets even better when we answer your letters.

♪ >> you are watching mailing it in. welcome to mailing it and, a gutter ball turkey. gutter ball turkey asked would you rather have the superpower to read minds. >> i know how to become invisible at home, i put lacrosse on. and i don't know if i could handle reading minds. where would you want to know what other people are thinking? that seems like a curse. >> it takes the spontaneity out

of everything. >> it also, when i say are you mad at me, i don't know if your eye don't want to know if you'r mad at me i want you to just tell me know. >> tyler? read minds or become invisible? >> as a straight white male in today's society people tell you what they think right to their face, so i don't need that, i want to be invisible. i want to be invisible and see what people say about you once and then you don't have to have you know why, florentine, invisible or a mindreader. >> a mindreader because the mondo of my girlfriend is mad a me or not straight or you're in one of those? >> in then i'll know if she's i the mood, you know, two full around because i don't know tha either.

scum another the bathroom with newspaper under her arm, if i would've read her mind it would've known. >> think with a lot of your girlfriends, it depends on whether or not they have homework that day. that's true. >> i will help them, so there i bed time. >> read minds or become invisible? >> i don't want to know what someone's mind. absolutely not straight you don't even want to know what goes through my mind half the time so i certainly don't want to know what others are thinking . >> the mind-reading thing is interesting, but i like the guessing. there is a lot of my life that is instinctive, you're trying t gauge what the audience is thinking. the invisible thing, if i wante to be invisible, i would host a show on cnn right now. did you ever have a jump that

you hated, but now you're glad to have these, we will go aroun the room this way. >> i worked as a concession nes at a movie theater on friday nights in high school, i had no dates, but i wore a hairnet and i served popcorn and soda and i'm proud to tell that story were also proud to work at the bakery i was fired from an another pharmacy i was fired from because i used to let my friends shoplift. i was so popular back then because everybody got free stuf on the weekends. >> some things to think about next time she's on faulkner focusing they never caught me. two keep working like a construction job just pick it u for it i just worked a really bad job to motivate me to do comedy. i had a little notepad with me. i don't want to do the rest of my life. so help me write jokes and get out of that. in then if the boss was mean to me, i would do a number to in i

and set it right next to him on the construction site freight it's funny every time. what are you going to do? ticket i used to do port with my lacrosse coach. >> used to be a canvasser, thos guys that come up to you and sa can you save the whales or whatever were doing now? i would get phone numbers and i realized it was good for gettin women's phone numbers for it an still do the same thing. the thing is if they're saving wills, you're probably not goin to get. >> those of the women i am dating in brooklyn. >> i did phonathon, telemarketing for one week, i was really bad about. i kept asking if they were mad at me.

status have to go and i would say, but why, what did i do wrong? it became more about me than anything. >> mine was definitely cab driving, but the thing about ca driving that is so insane is people get into your cap and they know they are never going to see you again so they give you all of their conspiracy theories and pork chop recipes and when barack obama got elected president they said the president's and al qaeda, right? i said i drive a taxi in new york city, i know most of al qaeda pretty sure he's not in that. up next, can sharing coffee together help of marriage through stormy weather?

(son) dad. you ok? (dad) it's our phone bill! we pay for things that we don't need! bloated bundles, the reckless spending! no more... (mom) that's a bit dramatic... a better plan is verizon. it starts at 25 dollars a line. (dad) did you say 25 dollars a line? (sister) and save big on things we love, like netflix and max! (dad) oh, that's awesome (mom) spaghetti night -- dinner in 30 (dad) oh, happy day! (vo) a better plan to save is verizon. it starts at $25 per line guaranteed for 3 years and get both netflix and max for just $10/mo. only on verizon.

here's why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine like google, but it's pi and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browse like chrome, but it blocks cooi and creepy ads that follow youa from google and other companie. and there's no catch. it's fre. we make money from ads, but they don't follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today.

>> story in five words. >> hey, girl. coffee check-in saves marriages on june 4th i come to you first for the relationship experts ha taken time to have coffee with your spouse and check in before you start the day actually save their marriage, do you wish you knew this before you got

divorced? >> i quit drinking coffee. i don't want to talk about it every day. in the article it says about talk about your goals for the week freight i have no goals fo the week. it's the same as last week. >> i agree with you there. nobody wants to sit there and talk about the other person tal about the end of the day by the end of the day imagine you have to start with a. >> cannot even wake it. can we do it later in the day? >> wouldn't you argue maybe there's a better beverage to share? two keep me beat like a shot of tequila or something, take a shot and say okay, everything's fine, but coffee, what were strength from your talk about saving your marriage, it may be preventing adultery and then yo have to both runoff or explosiv diarrhea. now you're texting from the toilet. to get that's one way to cut down on the adultery? >> that's a good point. do you open the day with a coffee chat?

>> when i drink coffee, i do sometimes, but it's bad for my anxiety so i don't think he wants to talk to me after i've had coffee. and also, is that that groundbreaking that you should talk to your husband for five minutes, i talked to him for more than five minutes, is that weird? >> according to them, yes prett cute the way to make your words work as you should actually speak to one another. once a day. then we started talking for fiv minutes every day. >> what i've learned from this article is the author's husband hates her because he didn't wan to talk to her. what was the best ring to start your day with rex pickett not coffee per rate if you're going to talk to me in the morning it might get me to acknowledge freight i can't stand warning spirits i can't stand when people say good morning. people that know me just say no morning and i don't like when people look at me or talk to be

in the morning so certainly coffee talk is not a good one for me. >> i think when i see these studies whenever they are pushing a product like the product of saving your marriage it's brought to you by the university of starbucks, like you think this is a real study? >> know it's a they were supposedly going to get divorce but then she said we talk for five minutes every morning that will help us connect, you know, to keep that's a scam. >> if i had to talk to my wife for five minutes every morning about the same thing, that woul make me leave. she says yup, sounds good. >> getting on the refill? perfecto. do not go away. we will be right back. [cheers and applause]

♪ ♪ >> final thoughts! tyler? >> yes, i'll be doing stand-up comedy in san diego, january 10th. and i'll be all over florida, denver, all over the country. go to tylerfisher.com. we are making comedy funny again, that's what we are doing. [applause] >> january 10th is a good month to be in california because it's tthe one month of the year when they poop endorse. >> i planned that. my agent knows what that. >> florentine, final thought?

>> i'll be at a theater in new jersey. i don't know where it is, it'll probably be near a costco or something. a starbucks. >> i'm heading to idaho falls march 1st, and it's a hard gig to get to because my gps keeps telling me to fire my agent. [laughter] j b, excited for 2024? >> i have no gigs, i'm just going to be a mom. >> mom it up. >> and kat timpf, you just going to be a kick-ass best-selling author? >> i have a bunch of sweet merch on my website. >> hot. love it. buy multiple copies of all of it, because none of that [bleep] is going to fit me. thank you to julie banderas, jim florentine, tyler fisher, kat timpf, and our studio audience! "fox news @ night" is next. h i'apm jimmy failla, and on behaf of greg gutfeld, i love you, america. ♪ ♪