made a bigger effort to keep you than we did. okay? we love you but we did not make that video. i would have made that video for your staff because i love your staff and i love their families but i feel like we owe you that video sean. >> fox has been great. i have no complaints. if you would have bet 1996 i would be one of the last people standing, that was a bad bet. congratulations, saturday night, 10:00 we'll be watching. jimmy failla. thank you sir >> that's all the time we have left this evening. as always thank you for being with us. please set your dvr so you never ever ever a episode of hannity. for news anytime all the time, hannity.com, foxnews.com, and by the way, let not your heart be troubled. our show in the free state of florida is now complete. greg gutfeld is standing by to put a smile on your face. have a great night. ♪

♪ >> greg: run you little freak [cheers and applause] >> greg: happy wednesday everybody, oh, yeah. so the critics still want to yell at dave chappelle. the legendary comedian just released a new netflix special and you know what that means. once again, it's time to get mad at jokes. true, critics in the media are bluer in the face than a choking smurf. you remember back in 2021 the usual suspects were outraged that chappelle dared to joke about transgender people in his act. trans people were a gassed at the professional comedian, who makes fun at everybody, made fun of them. which seems strange not making fun of you seems the opposite of inclusion. still netflix employees staged a walkout. they demanded content warnings to protect their precious feelings when really they're the

ones who should come with a content warning and have it tattooed on their foreheads that reads, handle with care, we're [bleep]. [laughter] in other words, they acted just like the censors they claim conservatives are. it didn't work netflix didn't cave. good for them. the only trigger warnings in entertainment should be on alex baldwin's guns. so chappelle's back at it again making trans jokes even though some of them don't like it. but that's part of it life. i don't leak it when people say my quads are a ten but my cavs are an eight, but i deal with it. in his new special, the dreamer, chappelle opens up with a story of the time he made jim carrie, after being introduced to him by the late, great, norm mcdonald. >> he called me up and he goes dave, he says i'm doing a movie with jim carrie. do you want to meet him? and in this movie jim carrie was playing another comedian i admire the late, great, andy

kauffman and jim carrie was so emerseded from that role that from the moment he woke up to the time he went to bed at night he would live his life at andy kaufman. i just went there to meet him and when he walked into the room and we were supposed to meet i screamed jim carrie! and everyone said, no! call him andy. but as it was happening, i was very disappointed. because i wanted to meet jim carrie and i had to pretend it was andy kauffman. anyway, i say all that to say, that's how trans people make me feel. >> greg: the obvious point the trans agenda often feels like a forced game of let's pretend where for a few of them it's often just a power grab. you remember that awesome delta video from last week? you better play along or else. >> and what about when adults ploy misgenders you

intentionally. >> while he's talking you're talking too. >> you just misgendered me again. >> okay. >> multiple times. >> got you. >> both of you have. >> sorry. >> wasn't intentional but if you want to take it personal, that's also -- >> she did do it intentionally twice. >> you're talking to me, too. >> you said she and then you said he. >> you're being condescending and if you want to continue i have full authority to escort you out the be right this moment if you want to play that game with me. >> greg: yeah. i never get tired of that. anyway, our lonely depressed in the press felt differently about chappelle, which is no surprise. he knew the critics would come after him, which he acknowledged. >> now, if you guys came here to this show tonight thinking that i'm going to make fun of those people again, you've come to the wrong show. i'm not [bleep] those people anymore. it wasn't worth the trouble.

because these people acted like i needed them to be funny. well, that's ridiculous. i don't need you. i got a whole new angle. you guys will never see this [bleep] coming. i ain't doing trans jokes no more. you know what i'm going to do tonight? tonight i'm doing all handicapped jokes. [laughter]. >> well, they're not as organized as the gaze, and i love punching down. >> greg: so here come the headlines. this from the last remaining shred of rolling stone, dave chappelle's the dreamer proves he's obsessed with trans people. sobsed right the media spends years spoon feeding an issue and we're obsessed. that's like telling crack that it's obsessed with hunter. here's msnbc, chappelle can't stop punching down, and that's not the worst part. so what is the worst part? usa boxing just allowed men to fight women. that's literally pumping down,

you [bleep]. and, really, saying that he's punching down is actually punching down, because it's no longer punching down when the target has attained protected status from the media and government. and that's trans, not chappelle. to me that makes it punching up. daily beast, chappelle's new netflix special proves he's learned nothing. that's rich, a daily beast blogger scalding the world's most successful comedian on learning. dude you work at an obscure lowly blog that trolls tweets for content. my dog takes more pride in his work, and his work is pooping. here's variety. chappelle's obsession with knocking trans people continues in his new special. oh, dear, the professional comedian is mocking people. i hate to tell you, variety, mocking is in the comedian's job description. i wonder what else variety finds shocking. oh, my, that stripper just

removed her bra. that politician just lied. that bartender got me drunk. that member of the view just spewed [bleep] out of her mouth. [laughter] >> greg: they're more perfect ditched by a comedian mocking people than an ivy league president copying and pasting from dozens of people. but not everybody is so humorless about themselves. former north carolina congressman madison cawthorn. in the dreamer chappelle jokes about cawthorn's disability. did cawthorn write an angry op-ed or claim he somehow harmed disabled people by telling jokes. did he throw a big cry baby fit? no he actually went to one of chappelle's shows and laughed his wheels off. if that happened to liberals, they'd sue the wheelchair company. cawthorn can take a joke, even when it's about a disability that affects his daily life. chappelle also made fun of asians, specifically his own wife. now, that's dedication, chappelle hates asians so much that he married one. but nobody's protesting that.

apparently no one cares that schools make up reasons to deny asians admission. maybe because they think they're doing them a favor. fact is, the two biggest netflix comedy specials, ricky gervais, and chappelles, go after the trans movement. why is it that? is it because they hate trans? no, it's because they hate being told what they can't say. bottom line, if you want a great comedian to say something offensive, just go ahead and tell them not to say it. and if you want a bad comedian to say something offensive, just throw joy behar a sardine. but really by vocally not asking for something, you're practically begging for it. go ahead try telling trump not to say he's the best president we've ever had. try telling trump not to talk about the water pressure in our showers, he'll talk till he's orange in the face. fact is comedians know it takes

balls to be good in this industry, which is why some even go so far as to marry a wife with some. [laughter] >> greg: now -- some will get that. now, you don't have to like chappelle's jokes, you can get mad, picket netflix, post angry essays, or you could turn it off that's how everyone stopped watching kimmel. but minding your own business doesn't fuel the 24/7 grievance machine, doesn't give dying ration like rolling stone content to fill their sad pages. so until they find another way to make a living, the protests will continue. but thankfully so are the jokes. >> period! [cheers and applause] >> greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. his wife makes him leave the toilet seat up. and his now you know tour starts in february, comedian jim norton! [cheers and applause] >> greg: when you see her smirking, danger is lurking.

host of kennedy saves the world podcast, kennedy! [cheers and applause] >> greg: seeing the ball drop on new year's eve always reminds him of puberty. comedian joe machi! [cheers and applause] >> greg: she's like a christmas tree, a prickically fire hazard best left outside. new york times best selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: jim, your new tour is called now you know. >> jim: yes. >> greg: what is it that you know? >> jim: i didn't know what else to call it but that sounded good. but people have been asking me about my life and my relationship and my wife and i are doing youtube now so it's one of those things where now people know my life and who i'm married to and they don't have to ask questions anymore it's out there. not that it was just a secret, i wanted to see if i liked being married. i didn't know i was transgender when i met her for four years

she told me she was on her period. >> greg: what do you make of chappelle? is this something that just helps him because it just creates more marketing or whatever? or is this just fun. >> jim: chappelle is kind of -- i mean he's the biggest comic on earth so he's beyond getting in trouble. i'm bored with people pretending to be upset about it. it doesn't even feel general within this time. like when you see someone in baseball intentionally walk, the catcher comes out and they have to throw the four pitches, that's what this anger feels like, the obligatory four pitches you have to throw so the guy can take first, none of it is genuine. personally i'm not offended by any of it, my wife's not offended, i don't care what people say it's not news worthy. >> greg: that was a baseball analogy kennedy and kat. >> kennedy: put a sock in it i wish they would use the pitching clock on outrage so the 15 seconds would be up. >> greg: what is a pitching clock. >> kennedy: isn't that fun.

>> greg: what do you think about the idea of punching down, aren't comedians, they view themselves as on the lowest running. right, in society they're the people allowed to make fun of everybody above them. >> kennedy: interesting because i watched the ricky gervais special last night and i watched chappelle today. i thought that approximately was funnier, i loved ricky gervais, it was funny, but chappelle i was screaming. they both tackle disabilities and the disabled because you're not supposed to and things you're not supposed to laugh at it's like laughing in church. like when your brother farts in church, you're not supposed to fart in church and you're really not supposed to laugh at it but that's what makes it so funny. and there are these sacred cows they both slaughtered at the same time and it made it that much more enjoyable. the thing i loved about chappelle that i always have is, you know, he winds up and throws these curveballs that you don't see coming and it's always, that's when it becomes the most inappropriate and you're choking

on laughter. and we need that so badly. we're in such annoyingly serious times so you need people who are just going to kick life in the balls, greg. >> greg: yes, kick 'em in the balls. >> kennedy: right in the balls. [cheers and applause]. >> kennedy: thank you. >> greg: joe, good to see you. >> joe: good to see you as well, greg. >> greg: yeah. does dave chappelle inspire you to start doing comedy? >> joe: hardy har, greg. [laughter] >> greg: you wrote that question, didn't snub. >> joe: greg, i deny all knowledge of that question but i will say this. courage is contagious like gonorrhea. you know what i'm talking about. >> greg: yeah. >> joe: but i am not lacking for courage. i have larger balls than a papa palates studio. it's funny to me though that chappelle mentioned an andy kauffman reference because andy kauffman was the inner gender

champion and these days they would be like say you're a chick and punch them. but to me, you know, it's interesting. they want to control what you're saying as a comedian, and if they can make me say men can have babies, they can make me say anything and i won't just say anything that's not true. you're not 5'7". >> kat: no, i know. >> greg: i never asked you to say i was 5'7", i just wanted you to fill out a form. >> joe: fair enough. >> greg: my goodness >> kat: you're not even 5'5". >> greg: we'll talk about that after the show. we're going to make some changes by the way, i should let you know. see, i'm 5'7". kat, you wrote a best-selling bet called you can't laugh -- you can't joke about that >> kat: i sure did. >> greg: and do you stand by chappelle for doubling down? >> kat: well, the point of my book was, you can joke about anything and it doesn't matter. the headline that the daily beast wrote said his new netflix

special proves he learned nothing. i disagree, i think he did learn and he learned if he talks about trans people he's going to get wall to wall news coverage. which he did because we're talking about it over here and people saying -- i agree with jim. i don't think anybody's actually upset about it. i don't think anybody can honestly say they're that upset over a joke. i mean, i think most people have had bigger problems than that but they also maybe found they get some kind of power for that because some people will actually do that. and here's a punching down, as he just pointed out he has the power to fire me, right, greg does. but he's still -- [bleep] >> kat: he [bleep]s on me every single day and i haven't even thought to go to hr even though i'm fine, don't offer me i can handle myself. that's the point. >> greg: interesting. i didn't know i could fire her >> kat: oh, come on. >> it's a weird understanding like dave makes jokes and we're like now we can do our part and we can do a little -- it's so completely.

if someone was saying hey you and your wife should not be able to be married i would have a serious problem with it but pretend somebody is making fun of something is somehow hurting that thing, it's a lie. it's not. i'm not saying trans people have to like every joke but doesn't mean you're harming them by making jokess >> greg: excellent point >> kat: it goes to intention, he was making a joke he was doing a comedy special, wasn't trying to hurt anybody. >> greg: up next, it's no small feat to rebrand a creepy retreat. >> if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to see gutfeld, go to foxnews.com/gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. ♪ trying vapes to quit smoking might feel like progress, but with 3x more nicotine than a pack of cigarettes - vapes increase cravings - trapping you in an endless craving loop. nicorette reduces cravings until they're gone for good. - bye, bye cough. - later chest congestion. hello 12 hours of relief. 12 hours!! not coughing? hashtag still not coughing?! mucinex dm gives you 12 hours of relief

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here's why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine like google, but it's pi and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browse like chrome, but it blocks cooi and creepy ads that follow youa from google and other companie. and there's no catch. it's fre. we make money from ads, but they don't follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> greg: thank you. the island of shame gets a new

name. little saint james, that sounds so cute, also known as epstein island is getting a major rebrand. it's located in the virgin islands. so machi you'd fit right in. >> joe: oh, man. >> greg: in your face, 5'7". its new billionaire steven deckhoff paid for it and plans to turn it into a luxury report. according to the new york post much will be refashioned but epstein's actual former residence will not be torn down instead be converted into a luxury hotelment it will have five stars now instead of just bill gates. said the new owner quote i'm tremendously pleased to be able to bring the area a world class destination bee fitting its natural grace and beauty. there are still two names

remaining on the epstein client list that will remain sealed. but we were able to get a peek at the names which are still partially redacted. here they are. [laughter]. and what about the other one? oh, yeah. still can't make heads or tails but the question remains, will travelers really want to visit a resort on an island that epstein owned, one that was infamously known for being intensely depraved. what am i saying of course they will. imagine all the instagram influencer flocking to get selfies at exactly in the place bill clinton may or may not have taken down a pair of twins. it will be a tourist destination based on infamy like alcatraz pearl harbor or the bathroom in the view's green room. but the problem is the name. how do you market something that was known previously as pedophile island? we came up with some ideas. how about not pedo island.

definitely not pedo island. no, really, this is not pedo island. seriously guys, this is not that island that had all the pedophiles. and lastly are you listening no pedo creeps here on the island. and finally, of course, club med. kennedy, in this day and age. >> kennedy: why me first? >> greg: that's often the question i hear. [laughter] >> greg: is the ick factor a flaw or a draw. >> kennedy: i think it's a flaw this whole story is so disturbing. i know there's a lot of ghost tourism people like going to haunted places, closed down psychiatric hospitals hoping to channel the spirits. and there are maybe people who think well, no one died there, but i really feel like these women who were abused, like a part of them died and i hope they are able, somehow, even though they're still living, to

haunt anyone who goes there to exploit the pain they've been through. >> greg: i am sure 200 years ago somebody died on this -- i'm dying right now. somebody died on this ground. people die everywhere kennedy. grow up. >> kennedy: he called it little saint jeff's. like it's so disgusting. the only thing that would make it better is if we got the full list of names. >> greg: oh, we will at some point. at some point. you know, joe, obviously they're going to need entertainment down there. they will probably be flying some comedians down to perform for like junkets and things like that. would you accept it if the money was right? >> joe: yes. of course i would, greg. [laughter] >> joe: talk to my agent. and to your point, if we had to tear down every place a horrible crime happened in new york city, this place would look like hiroshima in '45.

>> greg: exactly. >> joe: what you want to do is just sterilize everything on that island, including bill gates. but i bet a lot of people would like that torn down so we forget about what happened and that we haven't prosecuted any of the other pervs but we shouldn't try to hide the ugly parts of our history. we shouldn't be tearing down that building or status like susan b. anthony who was at best a 6. >> greg: yeah. [laughter] >> kat: i've never heard anyone say that. you know what? people don't talk about how she was not hot. >> greg: no, it's true. and our audience is not appreciating that joke the way it should >> kat: i agree. >> greg: susan b. anthony was at best a 6. you guys. >> joe: everyone knows for betsy ross because she liked anal. >> greg: that wasn't in my

history book. kat we talk about places where the murders took place. he probably got a great deal. have you ever gone to look at like an apartment or a house >> kat: no. >> greg: and they tell you on- >> kat: stop right there. no, i haven't. >> greg: oh, you haven't? then this is a terrible story. you find out maybe the spouse killed other spouse in the house or there was a suicide so you get it for like a steal >> kat: i just feel like, okay, i don't know that a rebrand is going to be possible. i don't think they can do it as like another place to take your honeymoon. you know what i mean? kind of a weird place to get a boner, i think. but they could lean into it. they could lean into it and they could be like listen, we know bad stuff happened here or they could do like a whole epstein themed thing where coulden spear's things go, like drinks so strong they killed jeffrey epstein that kind of thing or they need a good spokesperson like shaq where people do whatever they say. you put shaq on something i'm

line, oh, yeah. everybody likes shaq. >> greg: william devane, pedo island where i keep my goals >> kat: we won't go, but i'm shaq, boom, there you go. >> greg: i could definitely see that. jim, why don't they embrace it. people will go there just to say they were there, like the influencers. oh i got selfies at pedo island. >> jim: i would probably go there just for the goof of taking a picture of my old room. [laughter]. >> jim: but it really is, it is the same vibe of going to see -- that's why they tore down jeffrey damner's apartment building. or people drive by where the man son murders happen. you can't unsee what happened there. so it literally is just going to be people who want to be a part of something that was morbid or historical no matter how bad it was. like as witch has people that will visit because somebody terrible happened there. this won't draw a romance.

there's no way. >> greg: interesting. i didn't see it that way. i saw they would definitely pave it over >> kat: put a sandals up. >> greg: yeah put up a sandals. i don't know maybe i'm just from a different age. >> i guess their big line would be, at least we're not staten island. [laughter] >> greg: terrible. you be up next, mickey's murderous desires after a copyright expires. [cheers and applause]

>> greg: mickey's up for grabs, so now he's going to stab. this week the 95-year-old copyright on disney's early version of mickey mouse, aka steam boat willie, expired. and now that the retro rhoden entered the public domain anyone can use the character's likeness however they want much to the display of disney's beleaguered brand managers. apparently they're mad this could ruin disney's reputation. sorry guys, i think you already

did that on your own. if you guys had your way you would have mickey encouraging pinocchio to lie until his nose was at least seven inches and then call up the seven dwarfs for a fairytale sit and spin. [laughter] >> greg: so, yeah, the word mickey might be used in perfect verse ways. true it won't be long before mickey sells pluto to a dog fighting ring or mocks donald duck for his listen and not wearing pants. there's already an upcoming enslot of steam boat willie harror films. here's one called mickey mouse's trap or whatever. who cares. >> where the hell did he go? >> greg: well that sucks, they took an iconic entertainment brand and turned it not a

nightmare. oh. they're also doing a horror theme video game in the future, but when it comes to movies did they really get the scariest one? i think we did. >> hey everybody steam boat willie here if you're looking for something fun to do why not pick up your copy of brian kilmeade's new book kenny and booker t or see brian on tour january 31st in joy let illinois and don't forget to tune in every morning to the excellent television program fox and friends. ♪ >> greg: joe, when you were a kid growing up in that orphanage, you were deeply attached to mickey mouse. this was something that was very important into your upbringing. how do you -- this must be a shock to see him treated this

way. >> joe: he was the only friend i had back then greg. it is a shock to have him -- to see -- to have him be shown this way. it's almost like as bad as ghostbusters when those ladies took over. and i'm pretty sure they couldn't run upstairs. but i'm more worried -- [laughter] >> greg: and you know the other thing, too? they were all 6s. go ahead. >> joe: how are they going to ghost buster up the stairs. anyway i'm much more worried about other people taking other copy rights that have lapsed and abusing other old properties. not going to be long before jimmy kimmel and howard stern do a remake of a months and andy. half half >> greg: oh, yeah. kat steam boat willie sounds like somebody you dated in college >> kat: no, i don't really live near any bodies of water.

because i would have. >> greg:. >> greg: old steam boat willie's here kat >> kat: get on the boat? why not. sure i'll get on the boat. >> greg: he has a tugboat >> kat: you know what's disturbing to me about this? this was clearly ready for when the copyright was over. like the lengths people will go to avoid having to come up with just a new idea. >> greg: exactly. >> joe: >> kat: they're like okay finally now window we can use mickey now in this way. doesn't matter, it's going to be the same horror movies, i do love horror movies like that but it's going to be the same thing. >> greg: i look at mickey mouse and he's a frightening creature. do you this i this will help or hurt disney's brand. you're an expert in marketing. >> jim: i am i went to college for it for 17 years. it's not going to help or hurt disney.

what i want is the porn version. they're usually on top of this stuff. i mean, there's been a few of them, winnie the pooh and maybe now him and mini have sex and mickey's a cuck in the corner. i would love to see that. the porn industry is really late on the draw on this one, they're usually first to grab something. >> greg: they're usually first on the technology i found often by accident. kennedy, you know what i was thinking, to kat's point it's so unoriginal they should insert mickey into sit-coms like they did with cousin oliver on the brady bunch. >> kennedy: yeah remember they brought him in to be cute because cindy grew old. >> greg: everybody grew up so they threw him in there and then he died. >> kennedy: it was a tragic death torn apart by a homicidal mouse. it is part of the brady bunch lore. thank you for bringing that up that is part of our nation's history that we shouldn't be tearing down like status of

un[bleep] sue and b anthony. >> greg: he didn't say that he said she was a six. >> joe: yeah, i would still go out with her. >> greg: he would still go out with her. >> kennedy: i'm with jim when i first started readlinging the story i want to see a snuff film. if it's going to be horror then have mickey,itudele those buttons, this mouth is good for a lot more than whistling. >> greg: this is turning into those vh 1 cut and paste >> joe: how about you take epstein's island and call it steam boat willie island. >> greg: we solved the world's problems, we solved disney's problems and this other billionaire dude, we brought them together. like we bring america together every night between 10:00 and 11:00. >> coming up why does a youth look long in the tooth? [cheers and applause]

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>> greg: yeah, wow. everything's hot in the science corner. so why coulds gen-z look older than you and me? doctors warn the rising of botox injections and facial fillers has many gen-zers looking older than ma legalians and sale they're more likely to smoke and vape making them look older than millennials but apparently the age of social media made younger adults more aware of what cosmetic procedures are available thanks to tik tok hash tags like baby botox. experts warn starting to young can give you an older mask like look. in fact here's one 25 year old woman who just received a touch of botox. [laughter] kat, you are not a gen-z'er. what's the cut off again? i wouldn't know.

>> kennedy: 1997 to 2012. >> greg: thank you young lady. >> kennedy: this is millennials so -- no, that is gen-z. >> greg: is this one of those tabloid stories where we all just pick up stock photos of people shooting [bleep] their hoed and they foe oh, we have a story, we have a story. what's wrong with me >> kat: no, i think that's what it is. i am a millennial. i don't care how i age. >> greg: no? you don't >> kat: like men aren't going to want to have sex with me anymore? don't threaten me with a good time. [laughter] >> greg: that is true, as men age it's not a pretty sight. what? speaking the truth. >> kat: just fainted. >> greg: i know >> kat: what do you mean old men aren't hot? >> greg: they all can't look like me kennedy. kennedy, you have two daughters. >> kennedy: i do. that i know of greg. [laughter]

>> greg: yeah. yeah, there was a time you didn't know you were pregnant. >> kennedy: you're telling me. thought it was heartburn at the dinner table. boy, that's some spicy ragu. waaa! >> greg: it was beautiful i it it really was. >> greg: it was beautiful and you put it in a manger. >> kennedy: peter doocy and i are still very happy. very happy peter. >> greg: what is the question i'm asking you. >> kennedy: why do young people look so old. >> greg: yeah, right. do you buy this or do you think it's a fact it's just lazy. >> kennedy: no i think it was a series of bad unflattering pictures they selected of kylie jenner, here's kylie jenner in really horrible lighting versus taylor swift when she was 17, can you believe this outrage? and it's like, no, of course kids are doing things, they have access to everything. do you remember when you were a kid and you would go to a different part of the country and all the kids looked different they sounded different they wore different stuff. you're like wow this is like another planet but now they all

wear the same thing because they all have access to the exact same stuff thanks to cheap crap on amazon thank you jeff bezos. >> greg: i hated my foster families on the east coast. they always had better clothes and made fun of me. so i had to kill them. jim, has social media ever influenced your look? like have you ever looked on youtube and gone i want to look like that guy? >> jim: i mean i hope not if this is the decision i came up with. [laughter]. >> jim: i mean -- i think part of the reason they are looking older, i think it fits their personalities because they really do. young people run around scolding everyone like a bunch of senior citizens and 80 year olds and they're always tisk tisking and that's not appropriate or that's rude, they sound like old people so it's appropriate they look old and also the first generation to live every minute of their life in front of cameras. so every single minute of their

life they're obsessed with appearance and obsessed by keeping their looks and by doing that it backfires and they look older. >> greg: that's a great point. you mentor young people. >> joe: i try to give back, greg. >> greg: you really do. [laughter] >> greg: are you seeing this in the work that you do among the young people that you spend hours with usually outside they've window looking in. >> joe: no. to me they look younger because they don't ever have to do any work. but to me the terrifying thought about plastic surgery is that it actually does start to work. like what if in the future like an 80 year old can make themselves look like a 20-year-old? i don't want to accidentally date a 20-year-old. [laughter] >> greg: you're good. that was good. all right. we must move on. up next, is there lawsuit

baseless over candy that's fiveless.

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♪ >> a story in five words ♪ >> greg: creep sues reese's over packaging. jim a florida woman is suing

hershey's for $5 million alleging that the carved jack lantern on the package doesn't match the actual candy i guess it was just a basic reese's peanut buttercup. have you ever run into this kind of problem with mislabeled packaging? >> jim: i would say yes, i have, greg. i'm very frustrated. i sued frosted flakes. i bought a serial expecting a tiger in a neckerchief. to pop out. were you implying have i ever been in a situation with a woman where things were not -- yes, i have gone out with some. >> greg: it was so obvious. >> jim: i was very angry, she did not have a penis i asked for moi money back. >> greg: that's like getting a cracker jack box without the prize right kennedy. >> kennedy: i love the seasonal reese's treats. i confess i have never taken too long to look i put it in my head

hole and scarf it down so fast because they're so delicious. >> greg: aren't they the same. >> kennedy: no the seasonal ones are fresh and the peanut butter is softer and the milk chocolate is creamier. they are delightful so this person has too much time on their hands and probably has a pea nut allergy and taking out the frustrations on corporate america. >> greg: now we're going to get letters kennedy from the peanut allergy people. there are like ten angry ones. >> joe: we know how to take care of them. [laughter] >> joe: i'm going to go ahead and disagree with kennedy greg. people take their candy very seriously. i'm not going to mention any names. but i will say this, that the only thing scary about those ghost candies was the risk of diabetes and i don't like it. i don't like it one bit. this is a strive for justice. this is right up there with brown versus the board of education and gideon versus wainwright. we need our candy to have truthful advertising.

what if i lied on my personal ad photos and made something look smaller? [laughter] >> greg: kat, did you notice -- do you ever look at the wrappers when you're buying halloween candy? >> kat: i don't buy candy. >> greg: no, you don't, do you? you don't buy candy. >> kennedy: i watched you eat an entire bag of high chews a. the airport >> kat: that's true. oh, and by the way, don't ever do that. don't ever eat an entire family sized back of high chews. >> greg: have you ever eaten an entire cadbury egg and want to kill yourself. >> yes. >> yes. >> greg: isn't that weird? suicidal ideation by a little round thing. >> jim: i wanted to kill myself before during and after >> kat: because you think if you're going to do it anyway i might as well eat this first. >> greg: so you don't have an opinion on this story? >> kat: no.

i think that all advertising is false advertising, i've said it a million times before but like you said the tiger and the serial or like tampon commercials. you think if you put one of those in you're just magically at the beach? not true. >> greg: the best one is anything that takes place in a bar that's selling alcohol and it's like the bar's never are like that. nobody's friendly. everybody's having a good time. what, joe? >> joe: greg, if tampons did send you to the beach then they should put them for free in men's bathrooms. [laughter] >> greg: i think you should end on that note. >> joe: yeah. >> greg: once again, he solves all our major problems. don't go away, we'll be right back. ♪

♪ >> greg: final thoughts jimmy. >> if you want to see how my wife and i live, at nicky and jim, at nicky and jim nyc on youtube, you can go theren a see how we live our life. >> reporter: very interesting. what about your life joe? >> you can see how sad and depraved i am in rochester, rochester new york buffalo new york and point pleasant new jersey in this next week and a half. >> reporter: awesome, little upstate tour fantasticment thank to jim norton, kennedy, kat timpf our studio audience. fox news at night with trace gallagher is next. i love you america. >> trace: good evening i'm trace gallagher, 11:00 p.m. on the east coast 8:00 in