>> ♪ ♪ >> don't you hate it when you miss your favorite shows? >> fox nation will change that. stream them on fox nation. >> ♪ ♪ >> sean: time flies by. that's all of the time we have left. never ever miss an episode of "hannity." news any time. in the meantime let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld is next to put a smile on your face. have a good one. >> [cheers and applause].

>> [cheering]. >> greg: yes! >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: happy tuesday, everybody! it's good to be back. last night after all of the campaigning and spending, ron, nikki and desantis were on the receiving end of another trump thumping. finishing second, third and fourth just like women at a women's swim meet because the dude always wins. remember in 2015, what a photo. that's like timberlake with the rest of in sync. trump bumped each off like the last act of good fellows. there should be yellow crime tape around their podiums.

good thing chris christie was already gone. you know how much chalk it takes to outline that body. >> [laughing]. >> greg: you should not laugh at that. he is struggling. last night it was not a caucus. it was a carcus. kamala harris predicted it. >> president trump insighted an ere erection. >> greg: and last night he did. what does last night's result mean for november. let's face it. there are only 4 people in america who know what a caucus is ask and 3 of them are karl rove. kamala harris thinks a caucus is a plant with pointy stuff on it. it looks like the trump train has just blasted out of the station. not even pete buttigieg can

derail it. since we knew this would happen despite the other candidates spending 250-million dollars campaigning, was it necessary? the republicans knew it would turnout this way with trump on top. that's a lot of money to waste when you could invest it in a couple of hunter biden's paintings. couldn't that money be directed at the guy the republicans are trying to beat in november? not michelle obama. who put that in there. we are told this caucus is necessary even now we knew trump would win big. what happens they called it in 30 minutes. the reasoning, it's a blow out so why wait? that's the same reason terror ignoring the caucus but they wasted millions to prove that

point. that money could be used to go against biden. trump is less than perfect. but most of his baggage is put there by the dems. he makes it easy for them. they do the same to every republican nominee. with every poll showing a margin between trump and his rivals wider than the gaps in jesse watters's resume, was this money well spent? >> [laughing]. >> greg: it's true. when every metric shows the country is going in the wrong direction and the dems are gearing up to spending to keep his finger on the button -- i mean his life alert. bud lite's marketing team spent

money more wisely. the trump train ran over more than the other candidates. it barreled straight over the psyche of the leftie media. >> trump has become a religion for a certain section of american electorate and evangelicals. >> this is overrepresented by white christians. >> we can put on sackcloth and ashes and moan about trump getting 51% of the vote. that's not good news. >> there is a movement inside republican politics that is pushing trump to get more and more extreme. >> greg: good to see tony dow is still working.

he passed away i believe. rachel i am sorry this happened to you. maybe pace yourself. it will be a long election. we knew what the outcome would be but you are melting like a hershey-bar in an armpit. of all of the media takes here's my favorite from dick morris. remember that fellow. watch closely. >> i think trump will score a huge victory. i think the media will try to down play it. they are basically supporting nikki haley. >> [laughing]. >> greg: the greatest. >> [laughing]. >> greg: who knew dick morris lives at the ymca. hard times, my friends. i can't continue.

of course desantis and nikki haley are still in the race and receiving donations. the hope is the frontrunner will crash and burn. the hope that lightning strikes or if chris christie cuts his brake lines, like he could fit under a car. and for biden it would be when they admit the obvious and take him off solid food. when dems label bind dnr, do not reelect. and hubbard looks like the smart one. he raised his profile and suspended his campaign. if trump wins he is looking at a big spot. maybe secretary of fore heads. >> [laughing]. >> greg: it's not bad for a guy joe biden thinks should be running a 7-11. we are left with the clear winner and 2 others praying that the main guy gets taken out

which is like things on this show. >> [laughing]. >> greg: this is a process. whoever set it up, it's what we got. no system is perfect. no denying iowa was like betting on the university of michigan versus the st. jude all stars and betting millions on it. never-trumpers and the media hoped the mirage would be real. it's on to new hampshire. live free or vote biden state. we will be told nikki haley is within describing distance and ron desantis is the come back kid and more millions by the hope for disaster candidates and their supporters. hope is not a method. we are sided for a 2020 rematch and the sooner we accept it the better. i like trump's chances against this guy.

>> [whirring]. >> greg: it's sad. the dems hope trump won't make it to november while praying joe makes it past wednesday let's welcome tonight's guest. if i am a poor man's dennis miller, he is the rich man's greg gutfeld. dennis miller! >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: she is like a downed power line full of energy. will kill you if you trust her. emily compagno. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: baker's dozen refers to his monthly body count, mike baker. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: and finally she

attracts more old white men than the iowa caucus. "new york times" best selling author kat timpf. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: dennis miller, welcome to this show? >> thanks. >> greg: you looked over here and said i didn't know you sat. >> i have known you for years. i was on your other shows. the last couple of years i have been livings as a resident ex-pat. frustrating times in an odd way. i have seen your many shows. >> greg: that's okay. how did you feel about the outcome of last night? anything catch your eye? >> well, as i said i am not following as closely. if trump runs through this time in the same manner he did last time, he is missing a huge

opportunity. he always prides himself on saying never apologize. people are looking for a sign from him. i would come out somewhere soon and say, listen, i have been under an insane amount of pressures for years. you mix that in with my volatility and the fact i have not played politics my whole life, i made mistakes and been rough with certain people. i wanted to come out tonight and say i think the country is in trouble. i am willing to violate one of my cardinal laws and say i am sorry when i missed the point. i think a lot of people would say -- even the people who like trump. first off, when he goes to the middle of the country and stands in front of all of these local people in iowa, he should demand they get a spray tan.

he look likes an old brown wallet i lost. they are behind him like saddle shoes. i would just express that. that would blow people's mind. >> greg: a little humility. >> say the words i apologize when i missed the point. i think there are a lot of people, the hard zealots would not like that but other people in the middle pool think the country is going to hell. >> greg: all he needs to do is give them a reason to vote for him. that could be the one. >> biden thinks bottled water tastes better if you shake it real hard. a lot of people don't want to go down that road but trump doesn't afford them any breathing room. like a character in a movie, he

needs to say i am sorry. >> more chance of a unicorn flying out of my ass. >> greg: that happened last year. >> it did happen last year. >> greg: i don't know how did you that. >> i got it fixed. >> greg: [bleep]! get it together man. you are on television. >> yeah, i can get this at home. >> [laughing]. >> i know whatting he should do is apoapologize. greg did you watch? >> i am the host of the country fastest growing podcast. >> greg: did anything strike your interest? >> no! [laughing].

the thing that struck me the only person happier about the result and that massive margin of victory than trump was the democrats. they are building their battle plan for several months around trump and around the idea -- it's not even maga deplorables. they are moving the narrative to say it's every republican. it's trump and anyone who votes for him regardless of where they sit on the political spectrum and whether they like the policy and don't like trump. they are throwing everybody in the basket now. that's what struck me. >> greg: it's a stadium, emily compagno. what a lovely color tonight. >> thanks. >> greg: i was talking about my sweater. >> you never say anything nice. >> it's always a trick. >> greg: you fell for it again. what did you gain from last night, any wisdom?

>> i don't know about wisdom. what struck me is the disparity about what they said and how the liberal media characterized what they said. people found immigration was the most important issue. that was characterized by this left wing media who said it was racism and a negative view of america. they have been painting the bottom of their screens with all of these people letting in the exit polls, they didn't believe biden won the election. it would not matter if donald trump was convicted. they shove the voters into the same boxes. 82% of those people in iowa that voted for trump, they voted for him because he would fight for people like me. the difference between how this

administration views americans and how the left wing media views america, like me is whatever box they shove them in. you can't paint the same brush as every voter for trump. it's every american. every skin color. everyone who is sick and tired of being how to cook and drive and what their money has to go to and what to educate their kids on. everybody is sick and tired of being told they can think better for us. keep it up, though, democrats because you will get trounced in the national election. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: all right, kat. see how they applaud when i go to you. >> yeah. >> greg: you should learn from emily compagno. what are your thoughts here? >> i am thinking about the underwear guy. can whoa please talk about this?

we walked and he didn't react because he knows him well. if i ever get a boob job, i will show that picture. 3 had a great set on him. he was so confident. my husband is on a zoom call. this guy on tv walks through and nobody react. come on! i can't help but notice, sir, that a man in underwear with giant boobs walked by your shot. i googleled and found nothing. >> greg: do you think this was a house or a swinger's convention? >> he doesn't react. why would i have a shirt on or have pants on? >> greg: so many guys wear those

anymore? >> no. >> dick was doing a table read for marketing. >> [laughing]. if i could walk into any room confidently as he, i would be so much further in life. >> they don't call them wife beaters. they call them tank tops. >> greg: the world economic forum lacking in decorum.

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>> ♪ ♪ greg all right! spanking billionaire behind. they meet to control how he think and eat.

the world economic forum happens in switzerland. the epstein island. they meet in theory to discuss the world's most pressing issues. like what is the best way to eat sushi off a naked prostitute's butt cheeks. this year it's the concerns of extreme weather and disinformation. as msnbc and cnn call it their bread and butter. they need to protect the other issue extreme weather. in reality they are having as much sex and doing drugs while the little woman is at home. i mean their illegal nanny. the trophy wife is banging the

gardner. there are $2500 per night hookers. how do the spouses feel when they hear of their husbands in orgies. do the wives assume it's a small price to pay to be married to a billionaire. one person said you could almost smell the magic of the place. it's the magic or an old millonaire's sweaty balls and a hooker's channel number 5. why am i not there? my dog sitter cancelled. mike, why aren't you there assass

assassinating global elites? >> i would do that it pro-bono. this is where they all go. you climb each other's own ass and talk about how wonderful they are. they make the same predictions every year. i like our old friend -- and i did research -- i never do research. >> greg: it shows. >> yeah. our old friend said i never left the mountain without learning something important by meeting a new friend.

you could also say by going to a brothel. >> he didn't say dave and busters. >> greg: it's more fun. >> than a brothel. >> greg: isn't the point to show off your wealth and status. you talk climate. >> yes. they want to make the parties sound more fun. i did research too. by mushrooms they gave out a micro-dose last year. there are no mushrooms this year. sex party, if that's true it's a sex party with bill gates. no thank you. >> greg: that's gross. >> your sex party can have everything in the world but if it has bill gates. >>. >> greg: what if he wears a mask

like the masked sex parties emily compagno goes to. >> he could not go without 30 seconds without telling everybody who he is. >> greg: that's true. did you ever go to this? >> yes, if invited. my friend owns a restaurant and told me bill gates came in under a fake name. he was the only patron who had a credit card in the fake name. dabos, i don't care it's a big or orange countiy. i -- orangey. i want my economist to love money. what i don't like is when they say the biggest risk to our society are climate change and

disinformation. who did you poll the yale freshman? everyone there now is faking it or talking points. everything the president named are the crises because of biden. he talked about gaza and russia and ukraine and the lockdown and the global supply chain damaged. that's all because we have a weak president. all of the stuff around the hookers and drugs -- >> greg: what is gale freshman? >> yale freshman! [laughing]. >> greg: dennis? >> give bill gates this, he always entered those orgies in

tandem with hawking. >> greg: [laughing]. >> this is where the global elite left democrats miss the point. caviar, coke and champagne. they lost touch completely with the regular people. john kerry will preach to you -- there is a part of john kerry i admire. when you end up in some tributary on a flat boat and you don't have to be there. he could have gotten out of that. i admire that part of him. when you are john kerry and fly privately to davos and sign initiates about global warming. he gets on the private jet and have his wife co-sign and fly

back over there. that's a big foot print. >> greg: that's another game for big foot. hollywood hacks get inspired by harvard's diversity hire. s

(smelling)

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could be a blockbuster hit. nothing spells box office gold like repurposing someone's writheses and she is the master. here is the latest. fast and furious number 2. what source said claudine gay's story as academy award and depth and drama and real world controversy. everything an academy award winning movie needs except an audience. claudine gay was origin as a mullet at a tractor pull. that's after she refused to say calling for the genocide of jews

was against harvard's code of conduct. they found the perfect actor to tell her story. >> [applauding]. >> [cheering]. >> greg: kat, doesn't it bum you out that left wingers always have a safety net. if we get busted someone is not going it tell our story? >> no. i have a few options. >> greg: yeah, do you. >> this movie, they are missing the part that makes me want to see movies. is it entertaining? no. it doesn't sound funny. >> greg: no. there is no rags to riches story, dennis. hollywood twists the legacies of famous people to fit their narrative. >> oppenheimer had nothing to do

with the bomb. i right across from kat who i didn't recognize because i thought of her as a blond. there are so many yes people to the shows who laugh harder when they don't find it funny. when she finds something funny, she laughs. i can tell when the joke is not her cup of tea. she is just demure. gutfeld must be a good boss. >> greg: no, i look at the tapes after. i keep track of everything. emily compagno, are you excited to hear her side of the story? >> i would rather die. the only reason that everyone is tithe over the rights to put it on their main page and pat themselves on the back. none of us care. she will probably thrive in it because as a plagiarist she does

well with acting. >> greg: what do you think? >> i think she got to a job she was not qualified for. i like one producer who said that the claudine gay story could be this era's roots. what a [bleep] update statement that is. i don't know. that's all i got to stay about that. >> greg: rioters cause a bust but the media is nonplussed.

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>> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: why did the media lack the balls to cover protestors climbing walls? you won't hear handcuffs click if you have the right politics. thousands of anti-israel protestors descended on the

white house. they spray painted genocide joe on a statue and secret service evacuated non-essential personnel like joe. what do you think this is a land of equally applied laws? you would think this would get coverage but it disappeared faster than a biden grandkid at christmas. >> oh! >> greg: i know. a sad story. cnn only briefly reported it. like tipping and jesse watters it doesn't fit the narrative. he is cheap. another gorgeous double standard from the media, you know if it was a bunch of dudes in red hats jumping the fence it would be wall-to-wall coverage like taylor swift was death hamas.

the white house said president biden was unharmed. hey's been dead since 2022. emily compagno, protests outside of a pediatric cancer hospital. how low can you go? >> there is a little boyin the winnow watching those waves of flesh repeat after the main person with the cone thing. it was so sad to me. there is no limits with them. they are just doing whatever their leader tells them to do. wherever they get paid to go. there is no floor whatsoever. they went past it a long time ago. the only way we see this end is for someone to stand up and say something. not to hammer it home.

this administration are catering to these people, these students and entire consist and repeating. i don't see it ending soon. >> did you ever allow yourself to think it has happened. people say if we continue down this road -- they act like something is going to happen. one of the reasons i dropped out si believe it happened. i do believe they are outside hospitals and cancer hospitals. going for the heads of the people in there. i am try be toing cute. -- to be cute. how do you come back from is that? you are thought to be a harbinger of doom. i think you have to live your

life inside-out. that sounds like in china monk. i don't think you can take in what is happening now and have it not really flatten you. it's upside down. we fallen through a cosmic hole. we have to live our lives inside-out where you take care of your own life. not selfishly. i watch shows sometimes and i think, how much worse can it get? >> greg: it always gets worse. you are right. >> i think what he is trying to say is we are [bleep]. >> wouldn't that open up a whole other chamber of solution. i don't know what it is. i don't have the wisdom. i think almost everything i think is flipped upside down. >> greg: yes.

>> flipped upside down i feel like i landed on the set of a pbs show. >> [cheers and applause]. >> this is more intellectual than i have ever witnessed in any moment where i sat in the same room with greg. >> [laughing]. >> greg: i will take that as a compliment. i am a stupid guy! >> [laughing]. >> they will come around. come on! the protests -- most of these people could not find gaza on a map if you opened up theat las with the page marked gaza and shoved it up their ass. the history of palestine forget about it. some of them that's not true. they have been following the cause. every civilian casualty is a horrible thing. you have to be open minded about this conflict.

hamas started a war that nobody else except for iran wanted. they continue to say we will keep doing it. iran's purpose in life is to destroy israel. this is iran's fault. you have to have should perspective. some of these people out in front of the white house were shouting slogans in support of the houthis who are launching missile at u.s. navy war ships and commercial vessels. you can't expect a lot from some of the people. >> greg: kat, did you want to say anything to saying we are [bleep]? >> you said everything i was going to say. >> [laughing]. >> i'm sorry. >> [laughing]. >> i am at a loss too. i don't have a lot of hope. it's clear biden still wants

those people to like him. >> greg: all right. we will do something upbeat after this. is the bubonic plague coming back. a federal agency whines about electronic signs. of the intestinal lining. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. control of crohn's means everything to me. ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. ♪ control is everything to me ♪ learn how abbvie could help you save.

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>> greg: good-bye to funny electronic signs. dennis, the federal highway administration is giving a state 2 years to stop displaying funny message on highway signs because they believe they distract drivers. finally mayor pete is doing something. >> we are dropping pallets of cash in the middle of deserts in the middle of the night. that's how crazy they are. if they were not your leader, you would not hire hem to do your lawns. they would get hurt. they think they will change the wit on electric signs on the highway. could we have people not look at

their phones while they are driving? they said say you are crazy. you are so uptight. this is the new way. this is what they come down. they are foolish [bleep]. we allowed them to take over completely. we made a grievous error. i don't know how we solve it. somebody in the crowd might come up with a great idea. we lost it. we lost it to morons! >> greg: there you go. >> [cheers and applause]. >> greg: mike, i did research on who writes the jokes territory -- for the signs: jimmy kimmel. >> and president biden is getting ready of excessive ticket fees. it's the same thing.

it's all of these little problems. don't tackle the big issues. i could not agree more with what dennis said. i don't think we are getting any good ideas from this crowd. >> [booing]. >> i'm kidding. >> what i hate about this. the government is taking away all of the fun and comedy. half of those signs is because they have contests and the winner gets -- use your blinker. it was in boston. in arizona keep the hands on the wheel and not your meal. when i entered to name the baby at the zoo in seattle. you can engage and be a part of it you want to. i laugh at the signs. >> i am insulted by this.

i don't drive. pretend i do. are people laughing so hard at the signs they are losing control of their vehicle? veering into on coming traffic causing mass casualty events? i have not seen data on this. >> greg: i haven't either. >> there is so much more distracting stuff going on in our minds all the time. the sign with the joke on it won't cause anyone to die. >> greg: it would be a great movie if that was true. >> better than claudine gay. >> greg: we'll be right back. >> [cheers and applause]. right through my glass. so when my windshield cracked, it had to be fixed right. i scheduled with safelite autoglass. their experts replaced my windshield and recalibrated my car's advanced safety system. ♪ acoustic rock music ♪ >> woman: safelite is the one i trust. they focus on safety so i can focus on this view.

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thanks. voya provides tools that help you make the right investment and benefit choices. so you can reach today's financial goals. that one. and look forward to a more confident future. that is one dynamic duo. voya, well planned, well invested, well protected. >> greg: out of times. thanks to dennis miller and emily compagno and kat timpf. >> trace: i am trace gallagher. this is