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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  January 24, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PST

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staying on the ticket, sean. we have a president that couldn't play in scrabble because he makes up words. okay? you can't do this for four more years. sean, win the united states president speaks at the united nations they are not supposed to translate it to english. but here we are. >> here we are, jimmy failla. great interpretation. now i feel enlightened. unfortunately, that's all the time we have left this evening. as always thank you for making this show possible. set your dvr so you never ever miss an episode of "hannity". foxnews.com. hannity.com. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld is standing by and will put a smile on your face. that is next. have a great night.
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happy wednesday! so, last night new hampshire clarified a few things for us. first, that donald trump will probably be the nominee for 2024. true. that's as much a lock as president biden making up a new word. >> we'll teach donald trump a valuable lesson. don't mess with america unless you want to get the benefits. >> wait. what was that lesson exactly? don't give a microphone to someone with dementia? the second lesson that dana perino will never be welcome in new hampshire again. that was a water fountain, not a bidet. now somehow nikki haley came out
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and gave a victory speech which is kind of like the hindenburg declaring victory over fire. but she is doing a speech like she won. >> she said she is doing a speech like she won. she didn't win. she lost. this is not your typical victory speech. let's not have somebody take a victory when she had a very bad night. she had a very bad night. >> a very bad night. yet i can go up and say to everybody thank you for the victory. >> i said i can go up and say to everybody thank you for the victory. it's wonderful. or i can go up and say who the hell was the imposter that went up on stage before and claimed a victory? she did very poorly, actually. >> that's true. in life you can't let people get away with [ bleep ] . >> i find in life you can't let people get away with [ bleep ] . okay? you just can't do that.
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when i watched her in the fancy dress that probably wasn't so fancy, i said what is she doing? we won. >> the dress, not so fancy. trump carried new hampshire by double digits in a state where more democrats voted in the republican primary than republicans bit that usually only happens in chicago and those voters are dead. it's not easy to lose badly in a situation like that and claim victory. she must be getting advice from liz cheney. so what gives? why would nikki haley treat a new hampshire hammering like a win just because she lost by less than expected? if michael jordan had that attitude he wouldn't be in cooperstown. >> i get it, actually. >> thank you. but it comes down to money and power. she acts like she lost and there goes the gravy train. maybe she thinks if she sticks around trump might put her on
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the ticket. after all when it comes to people, trump will trash them, then appoint them and trash them again. it's his thing. one day you are in, the next day you are out. on the same way with my proctologist. by some predictions nikki did better than expected. after iowa she could have showed up and lit a chinchilla on fire and the media would say she did better than expected. the media says the same thing when biden doesn't his pants. trump's victory means the deal is pretty much sealed. if we know that, nikki knows that which is why as primary day approached a new nikki emerge. woke nikki. we are hearing pandering anecdotes about nikki facing discrimination about being brown when she grows up. she claims she was disqualified from a beauty pageant when she was 5 because she was neither black nor white. but that has happened to me too. i also blame race when he think of the role for webster. but it's part of the game.
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you pick a lane and hers was identity. >> we were the only indian family in our small southern town. i was teased every day for being brown. >> i get it. i was also teased for being brown. what do you expect when you get 28 wedgies a day? look, i am not questioning her origin story or how it impacted her life. all that sucks. when you are pandering to the dems as a republican it is kind of embarrassing. last night her constituency wasn't really republicans. it was democrats. and away she is running against her own party, not just trump. the democratic primary in new hampshire was also last night. two little-known challengers got roughly a quarter of the boats between them. dean phillips was so unknown even his wife and kids asked to see his id. marianne williamson who has
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completely transform into a scented candle. yet they got 25% of the vote away from this sitting president. even madonna after plastic surgery is more recognizable than both of them. maybe it's because biden didn't even go to new hampshire. he was in virginia. maybe he thought it was new hampshire. it was there that he said this. >> hello, virginia! the real governor terry mcauliffe. >> how is that for election denial? maybe someone should file articles of impeachment now. i say he should go to prison with the rest of the january 6. but they have suffered enough already. while the media contorts itself to make it a loss for trump and nikki has millions getting pummeled. biden appears weaker, frail or and debtor. when the media tells you this is far from over, they are right. the problem is there talking about the wrong guy.
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let's welcome tonight's guests. when he trips and falls, he always lands on his hair. charlie hurst, fox news contributor. even governor hogle is sorry he didn't beat her. former congressman lee zeldin. this kat has nine lives thanks to being an expert at identity that. fox news contributor kat timpf. and he's an expert in mma, making men afraid. new york times best-selling author and former nwa champion, tyrus. charlie, i am already sick of this topic. but we have to talk about it because it's supposed to be important. do you think nikki haley is sticking around because she is angling for vp? that ship sailed? >> trump's comments about her a week or so ago were pretty sherman ask to the point what he said she wasn't presidential
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timber and then he followed up by saying the fact that i said this means that you can hold me to it. i can't undo it. if you think about it, when you have these discussions, my question is what is the ad that democrats can run against them when he picks her? it's going to be a pretty devastating ad. we are not just talking about the comments about the dress. i think its funny. everyone has been talking about how trump has been the past couple weeks. last night he took the chain off and went after her. i think because she really ticked him off. he was not going to--you can't blame him. the one thing everybody can agree upon about trump other than the fact that he's highly entertaining and hilarious, is that if you poke him, he is coming after you. >> exactly.
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he will come back with 100 folks. >> you cannot claim you are a victim if you poke him first. >> kamala harris got the vp nod after basically literally calling joe biden a races. remember that in the debates. i was that girl on the bus, joe. all of a sudden, it could happen here. >> this isn't the democratic party of 2020, which has only gotten more woke since then. yes, kamala harris was able to elevate to the number two position in the country following this particular model of being the first this, the first that. i don't think donald trump in choosing a vice president is looking for that above merit, above where that person stands on issues, whether there is chemistry or the person is a hard worker or the right fit. he's not looking to trade all of those traits in. by the way, yesterday it was a blowout amongst registered
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republicans. he crushed nikki haley. she should be getting the hint that it's time to step aside and allow us to unite if she really cares about what is most important which is saving this country. about making sure that joe biden doesn't get four more years. she can do her part in a really big way by calling up president trump and saying you're going to be the nominee. i cannot win any of the 50 states. what can i do to help? the phone call needs to happen yesterday. it should happen tonight if it didn't happen yesterday. >> lee zeldin clearly angling for vp. kat, you are an astute watcher of primary politics. you were it all night watching this and tabulating. you went to new hampshire to count them. >> i actually did watch it. i texted dana. how are you alive? she was on all day. this is the year for
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libertarians. just kidding, guys. it never is our year. that's what i believe. nikki haley, it's interesting how she's trying to make appeals to people. growing up i was bullied. i was bullied also growing up. i didn't grow up until lower. >> excellent point from the libertarian. what were you bullied over? >> being myself. it was kind of on me. >> were you ever disqualified from a beauty pageant? i would never go to of beauty pageant. i was very androgynous looking. >> did your parents ever enroll you in a segregated beauty pageant? >> i didn't really understand what this pageant was. wasn't in a marriott? >> apparently it was in the 40s.
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>> she is 50 something so it had to be the late 70s, tyrus. >> to be fair, in the 70s it was still illegal in some states like my home state of boston, massachusetts for the blacks to marry the whites. i guess when she went to the world races beauty pageant, she was a little too confused and she insulted the racist judges, which is hard to do. >> especially at 5. >> here's the issue i have. let's say for arguments sake that all those things she said. all of that further makes your journey to be able to run for president of the united states greater. you overcame obstacles. that's not the speech she is making. i would support that. they called me brown every day. guess what? now they might call me madam president. that's a great story. as people who have used something because everyone in this audience have a story. we all have a story. she is not doing that.
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she is placating to who is riding the script. >> she was differentiating herself from other republicans saying i am not racist like there. >> which is crazy seeing how the most straight up, let the best man or woman win regardless of color is being shown at the highest level at the republican party. we had two brown people. good thing transfixed did not show up at the beauty pageant. imagine the look on the racist black eyes and white guys. someone explain how two brownies got in here. >> i wonder if she brought that up while vivek was around. >> the brown on brown hate was pretty solid between vivek and nikki. she had the look of him which disgusted her. she literally was behaving like the racist black-and-white organization didn't let her
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compete. you have to be careful. you become what you hate. whenever vivek came in the room she said i hate that brown [ bleep ] . you just have to be careful. she did call him scum. >> it was like asian on asian hate crime. he is korean, not chinese. >> so true. we must move on. we have a great show. up next witmer lands with a thuc by talkinghe to a spud. ed up using three times as much and the clothes still weren't as clean as with tide. so we're back with tide, and the clothes are clean again. do 3x the laundry and get a tide clean. it's got to be tide. we're travelling all across america, talking to people about their hearts. ooh, take this exit.
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it's coming your way, hey hey. it's video of the day. >> thank you. i love these people. an airhead go of shows love.
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gretchen whitmer makes horrible potato jokes. a video of the day comes to us from gretchen whitmer who announce news about higher education with the help of a talking potato. roll its. spin-up governor whitmer, how's it going? >> hi professor potato. i wanted to share some uconn gold use with you my best spud. we've agreed that every michigander deserves an opportunity to go to college without frying their bank account. >> absolutely. higher education helps you learn more skills, pursue passions and plant your roots in michigan. >> i think we found out where brian stelter has been. he got a tan. he won't be in any beauty pageants. you might be thinking, and my high on mushrooms? this is a real video released by a sitting governor. what is going on? whitmer is acting more baked than that potato. i guess if you want to tell taxpayers that they are footing
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the bill for more useless stuff you might as well use a [ bleep ] potato. if they potato inspires you to go to college, maybe you should start practicing the question do you want fries with that? more please. >> but for too many colleges financially out of reach. that's why i am so excited to announce an appealing plan. >> i know what your plan is. this year we will work together to make the first two years of community college tuition free for every high school graduate. >> that's right, professor. michiganders will save an average of $4000 as they earned their associates degree. >> that isn't small potatoes. that's a big deal. >> to learn more make sure you tune in for my state of the state address. >> i will be there for sure. later tater. >> later teder. >> i still think i am high. i thought whitmer was only bad
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at politics. nice job, michigan. elected a woman who talks to side dishes. you don't see dixon chatting with a dish of coleslaw. that is democrats for you. a governor who talks to starches and a president who is a vegetable. kat, as a native michigander, how do you explain this? >> okay, we do sketches on this show sometimes. if somebody came to me with a script and i looked down and it said i've got some uconn gold news for you, you are my best spud. i wouldn't do it. i would also say who on the staff has a problem with me? i'd prefer you just tell me directly. girl, your staff hates you. there's no way anybody could have watched it or wrote this and say this will look good. everybody that works for her hates her because this would
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have not gotten through any other way. this is humiliating. people hate you. sorry. it's tough to hear but i will tell you. >> she needs a best friend. don't do the potato thing. tyrus, that wasn't even an appetizing potato. i love potatoes. >> i am just curious. was idaho aware of this cultural robbery? anyone from ireland? listen, this is what happens when you don't check what your staff is up to. she didn't see the graphics. we have this really cool thing. it's going to be like sesame street. we will talk to a potato. a potato puppet, kind of. it's like the dude with the upside head. it doesn't even look like a potato. day looks like a sick furry thing. a caterpillar, maybe. whatever it is, it is terrible. she didn't see it.
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she was lazy. she didn't go to the studio. she didn't on her phone. she has no idea what she is talking about or whom she is talking to or what technology is involved. she saw it when it was done. it's fine. when it hit one of her staffers said did you see the thing you just did? she said oh my god, how do we get out of this? you have to double check stub. that's why you check everything before it comes on air. >> who was the potato? >> i want to look at that potato. >> it's a guy with a mustache. >> it reminds me of hunter's penis. it's been through a lot, people. she did miss the pun. he could have said what do do for a living and she could say i hope. it's a pun. i don't really mean that. >> the only way this works is if the potato tries to kidnap her. a bunch of fries come up behind her. >> the potato could be an
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undercover fed. all right, lee. you can do potato puns if you want or address what is wrong with our governor? >> i was running for governor and was trying to work hard to connect with gen z and millennial voters. i had no idea that this is what they are looking for, a governor who spends her day talking to a potato. i never realized that. first off, it's a creepy potato to tyrus point. you have to address that. seriously, who does this relate to? other than brian seltzer? the target audience of this particular video i can't name anyone who is watching this and saying that it resonates. >> its fur babies or something. it's like a barney video. this is not for people going to college. it is warped and strange.
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i'm worried about her. >> this is impeachable. >> it's a tease to watch her state of the state address. what sesame street viewer is going to watch this and tune into her address? i was impressed that you went with the brian seltzer thing. that was a low hanging tuber. >> yes, it was. >> the funniest thing about this is she is supposed to be the smart one. this comes out, the book came out that biden didn't want to pick kamala harris at all in the first place. he wanted to pick her. she is the smart one? where do we go from here? >> don't worry about that. she will get sued. people who identify as potatoes are going to be furious that they had a keyboard and a laptop knowing that potatoes don't have hands. you just are rubbing it in his face that he's a vegetable without opposable thumbs.
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she's got enough problems to deal with. the potatoes are going to be furious. >> they will. all eyes will be on you, governor. >> very appealing. >> potatoes have eyes. did you know that? it makes no sense to me at all. up next, is the daily show toast with a recycled host? that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine or plan to. liver problems may occur in crohn's disease. control of crohn's means everything to me. ask your gastroenterologist about skyrizi. ♪ control is everything to me ♪ learn how abbvie could help you save.
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jon stewart returns as the daily show crashes and burns. stewart is returning as the host of the daily show nine years after he left because he is just what late-night comedy needs, new blood. yes he's following the old showbiz tradition of going out on top and then crawling back a decade later. here we go again. another old white male running the show.
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what happened to diversity equity and inclusion? at least give it to a woman that way you could pay her less. >> a sexist would say. >> maybe by hiring a white guy that makes it easier to blame a white guy when it fails. he will return as host every monday starting on february 12 to. you know it's a bad sign when something called the daily show only want you wants a week. this after comedy central through hordes of guest hosts against the wall and none of them stuck. most of them stunk. the rest of the nights will feature rotating comedians although they get better ratings rotating rotisserie chickens. tyrus, you know, is he the same jon stewart? i think everybody is going to expect he is coming out to bash trump. what if he doesn't? >> then he will lose his mondays. he had the streaming show. how did that work out? not well.
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but it's trump season officially after new hampshire. his gas guest will be jim acosta. all the guys who made money off the trump are now coming back in droves. it will start out as monday. but he will end it all five days. they don't know how to be honest with the other comedians they have filling in. he is just doing monday's. that is the peak day. that's the day you want to get everyone off and running. jon stewart will go on the trump tour and every day he will have a different heart attack from trump. they brought me back into say it's a good story. that's how they will play it. they will do great with the 300,000 people that watch it. >> obviously they are doing that because this show is destroying the competition. they had to bring back. you are welcome. is this a good move, lee? >> the audience that moved over to gutfeld are not running back
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to jon stewart. they are happy where there. as far as jon stewart, to tyrus point, he is part of that angry, unfunny delivery of comedy eroded by somebody who forgot what being a comedian even is. he is willing to cash in whatever chips have been earned and whatever capitol has been earned on funny jokes in the past. to be able to speak to an audience one night a week. my prediction is what tyrus is. you're going to get anti- trump anger between now and november. who knows what he will want to do next. he is surrounded by poison with some of the people he speaks to who hate trump so much. i think it has impacted. this is a guy who is talented and able to deliver a funny joke. his career was on the right path. i think trump derangement syndrome has blown it up.
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we will see anger and unfunny material coming out on monday on comedy central. >> that is my turf. charlie, i will be more diplomatic. do think those other guys at night except franklin? seth meyers. do you think he will fall into that group or what? >> if he has an ounce of integrity, he won't. i have to be honest. i never watched him when he was big and doing it every night, not just monday's. but at least you would hear about it sometimes. like you said, he's not as dumb as the rest of them. he actually has some independent thoughts. if he has any integrity at all or any business sense for that matter, he would realize there is this wide open territory. you can just go out there and just eat it up and give you a
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little competition and make you work for it. >> i don't want to work. >> i think it will make you better. iron sharpens iron. >> look at me. this is the best you are ever going to get from me anyway. charlie, jerk. >> you've got three loyal fans. >> thank you. i feel so much better being forced to applaud me. kat, are you as upset as i am that you know he will get paid more for that one show than everybody in this studio combined? he will get the maddow deal. $100 million for one day a week. >> maybe. probably. i like jon stewart. i think he did a good job. i liked watching him. thank you one other person. he had a lot of independent thoughts. i think he's funny.
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i can't imagine those other people who thought they were in the running for it. comedy central did the tv equivalent of getting a bunch of people and going back to the wife they said they were separated from. you said you two were over. i would be a little upset. but i will watch. >> the media is going to adore him because he is back. i think he might surprise them. i think he's going to notice that the lane is already clogged. >> he's already out with the pandemic stuff. there is be a huge deal with him not openly supporting hamas. you will have those hurdles before he even gets to trump. >> he's got an opening for there are a lot of people who are emerging from trump derangement syndrome and a lot of young people who say why did i believe all of those things and questioning and destroying the credibility of the media? it's one of those 9 keuchel 1 ratio. i said one thing and now i get
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nine anti- trump jokes. there will be some viral moment where stuart says something that is hilarious and everyone is watching. maybe he has come around. there are nine more jokes that come. maybe he will get one in. coming up her brain is devoid yet she acts like freud.
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video of the day part two. wow! that was groovy. i like that. come over later and we will have drinks. where that thing i like you to wear. aoc gives a glimpse of why she prefers wimps. alexandra ocasio-cortez brings us the second video of the day. here she is psychoanalyzing trump supporters and uses words with multiple syllables. >> donald trump is what you get when you want a politician to
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embody all of your hopes and dreams and caricatures of yourselves. donald trump affirms insecure men's idea of masculinity. they affirm insecure people pass the idea of wealth. internalize misogyny. yeah, insecure white folks idea of race. >> she makes me want to get a gas stove so i can stick my head in it. aoc is some sort of psychologist? makes sense whenever america hears her talk we all feel the need for per prozac. but really if she is going to attack an entire group of people with dimes sort theories about manliness it's only fair to return the favor. maybe she has insecurities about her boyfriend's masculinity and she's doing her own projecting. it has to suck to be dating a guy with smaller balls than you.
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or maybe she's insecure about her own femininity. meaning it must suck to have bigger balls than your boyfriend. lee, i go to you first. >> good luck. >> you are a new york dude. you ran for governor. i find it interesting that she can happily psychoanalyze and sexualize groups of people, but if you do it to her, she becomes a victim. oh my god you can't say that. i just reversed mapped exactly what she said. >> 100% of the time if you go after it's because of whatever demographic all information she wants to throw out. we were both on the house financial services committee. we had a bank in front of us and she was trying to get the ceo to admit they were one of 19 banks to help on the keystone xl pipeline. she wants them to admit they should be liable for any environmental damage done by the keystone pipeline. you could hit the microphone
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button. i wanted to ask the gentleman to yield should the company that manufactured the microphone she is speaking into be liable for what is coming out of her mouth right now? i was this close to going live. she probably would have been like i am a victim. you go after me because of whatever demographic or biographical information she wants to throughout. it's because the argument you are making every day all the time is too often. >> you can say that now. it's okay. >> what? you can say that word. >> don't play with me. that's my favorite word. >> it is now acceptable. they said yes. charlie, the thing that bugs me about this is that instead of there are 70 or 80 million people who think differently than you do. why not just think about why instead of just calling them deplorable or racist or insecure? at least we go after specific
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people. we don't go blanket groups unless they are blocking traffic. it's like instead of that was such a cliché. she might want to go home and go why is this person so appealing? what am i missing? >> she is unburdened by caring about any of this are solving anything or understanding anything. all they care about is winning. they have discovered that if you are totally racist and you divide everybody into groups, racial or gender or whatever their identities are, you can talk to them like that engine up controversy to pit them against one another and win elections. it's powerful and effective. can you imagine if a republican or any politician were talking this way about blacks? or these women?
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the media would melt down. the other thing i thought was really funny, and i deserve jon stewart's salary for actually watching that entire video. the part when it began she started complaining because she was intimidated by the fact about how men talk in sports references in the workplace and how upsetting she finds this. how bizarre. >> you should hear the stuff i have to listen to. >> no sports references here. >> it will never happen. it is interesting, though. kat, who is that dude, dean phillips? he went to a trump rally and he hung around people and talked to them. that is harder than just saying you like trump because you are insecure about your masculinity. >> i need to say this because i am the only woman on the panel wants again. >> so you think. >> listen.
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>> i support you no matter what. you know that. women kind of do hang out all the time. >> women psychoanalyze people and hang out. that guys a narcissist. that's what we do. don't act like you are different. icu. right? okay. it's clear that they have never met somebody probably. it's the people who vote for trump. there is a lot of different people that vote for trump. some love him. you can't paint with a broad brush millions and millions of people. >> it's an interesting point. that famous moment when megyn kelly asked trump about sex and said to be fair rosie o'donnell. it was a legendary moment. there is a difference between going after a group and an individual. that's the thing that the media doesn't understand. trump only went after and would
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never say anything about voters. he would say rosie o'donnell or would go up to megyn kelly. he would never go to an entire squad. >> that requires high-level intelligence to go after the person you have an issue with. what district is she running? >> isn't she harlem? >> if you ever break down in new york 13 understand this is the leadership. just walked. who voted? why are you doing your job? if you are ever on a show where the rebuttal to everything you is this. you are on a bad snl skit of the 1980s. she said the same thing three times. the only thing she change was man and person. internalized masculinity. that means i am keeping a secret. how would you know? >> exactly. >> stupid [ bleep ] . i believe the term is.
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they just say things. >> i never should have told you. >> what i'm going to tell the fox fox lawyers is greg told me. >> we've got to move on. up next, a change where you are going if you are flying in a boeing.
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a story in five words. >> now it's a falling wheel. charlie, a delta flight from atlanta to columbia lost its front tire before taking off on saturday. first we had a door plug. now we've got a wheel. apparently another plane noticed it fall off and alerted the pilot. he said thanks for that. is there a common origin to this? what do you think? >> what a time to be alive. it's been like 60 years since we supposedly put a man on the moon. it's like everything, i think trump would have a good description for where everything is going these days. >> going to hell. he wouldn't say that. he would say something else, tyrus. can we blame this on mayor pete?
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i would like to. >> you know what? i flew out last friday. my flight was scheduled for 8:00 but we had a flatiron. they change the tire. it only took four hours. i watched it. they have the same problems that we have trying to change a tire. who has the jack? that was literally what they were looking for. when i saw the size of the jack, i say you lost that? i got to sit outside at the gate window watching this group of men circling around. you do this and you do this. we are never getting this tire change. no problem. we do it all the time. they made it sound like the indy 500. they had five teams of experts to say yeah, it's flat. that was just to get it started. then they get it done and we are on the plane. i hear somebody misplaced the paperwork. we've got to wait. did they kick the tire? can we go?
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things are falling apart because this is the result of these equity hires management. this is what we are seeing. that's what it is. >> why are you trying to blame pete buttigieg? it was nikki haley on the board of boeing. >> well played, man with the nice hair. >> she left because they said she was brown. >> lee, why didn't they just call aaa? >> they should call the tsa the way that tsa inspects us going through. the agent should do that with the plane before we take off. it's always hard to take care of your kids on these plains. in a way it's starting to get easier. the way we used to do it on the bus. the wheels on the bus go round and round. the tires on the plane are falling off. the walls of the plane are falling off. i guess in a way it helps you to entertain your kids a little bit better. >> kat, last word to you.
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are you alarmed or is this just coincidence? >> all this boeing stuff would make me nervous to fly if i ever knew what kind of plane i was getting on. >> it's best not to know. it's a plane. >> that's all i need to know. >> don't look. you don't ever look at the safety blackard? >> no. >> they don't even say it anymore. they say thank you for flying. that is all. >> they are not listening to anybody. put on your headphones, take a pill and pray. >> went emergency exit seats are free, be concerned.so >> don't go away. we wilrel be right back. ad grabn to soothe her with ease. puffs plus lotion is gentle on sensitive skin and locks in moisture to provide soothing relief. a nose in need deserves puffs indeed. america's #1 lotion tissue. icy hot. ice works fast. ♪ heat makes it last.
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>> greg: out of time. fox news that night its next. thanks to all of you, america. >> trace: it's 11:00 p.m. at 8 :00 in los angeles

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