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♪ [applause] >> greg: all right. [cheers] >> greg: happy thursday, everybody, sometimes the universe remind you that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. like jesse watters getting the 8:00 p.m. hour after being diagnosed with micropenis. >> can we really say that? >> greg: yes. here's another example. the wildly popular comedian named shane gillis. if you've never heard of him tonight is the case. >> tonight the leader of isis is killed. trump goes -- is dead. he died like a dog.

in front of the whole world. abu, we could hear him crying, abu, don't cry. let me tell you something, abu cried, he cried quite a bit. i wouldn't have cried. cry baby baghdady, that's what we were calling him. >> greg: he's funny and he does track better than alec baldwin plus he hasn't shot anyone yet. but what is special about gillis is he beat cancer culture in 2019. he was hired as a cast member on "saturday night live" but was fired before he appeared on the show after people dug up old jokes when he made jokes about asians. you might even say he got lucky. he's like the guy who causes a ruckus at the gate so he's banned from boarding the plane, and then that flight crashes. s&l is like that crashing plane,

only not as funny. >> thank you. >> i got some applause from a sick person. >> greg: but it's no surprise they fired him before he set foot on stage. he was too dangerous for elitists snobs who think anything trump or republican is an automatic punch line. he also didn't check any boxes that he liked, ones he did, white and male, were like a french kiss from your grandmother. the last thing they wanted. the fact is they needed him more than he needed them because since then he's become a huge success, enter bud light. you remember them, right? last year they briefly partnered with transinfluencer dylan mulvaney which alienated their customer base that cost them billions. thank god we never covered that. >> it started april 1 after pee wee -- an heisser has lost five billion.

>> greg: sales are plummeting faster than bide en's pants in a porno theater. they got customers to switch so they didn't want to wonder what was under the skirts, after we preferred our beer nuts to be in a bowl. the first time he's complaining about the scandal, more proof that he's not a woman. >> how do you like them adam's apples. >> greg: so thanks to their woke desperation an highs -- guess who bud light is partnering with now. shane gillis. it appears public humiliation works because bud light severed ties faster than meghan markle severed prince harry's balls. >> on the spectrum of regular dudeness, gillis is about as far away as you can get from mulvaney without a belly transplant.

welcome to the team shane gillis, excited to be part of your 2024 tour. you got to admit, that's a much better slogan than 2023's, bud, king of beers, for queens with penises. why now? maybe they tuned into joe rowga. >> they better hurry up and give you some money or i'll start drinking cures like. >> greg: who knew it was that easy. preparation h you better give me some money or i'm going to switch to tucks. >> wait. i'm sorry. >> greg: you don't know tucks. >> no. >> greg: then you haven't lived. >> i haven't lived. >> greg: so now anheuser busch clearly wants to move on and start selling beer again. they learned two key rules of marketing. don't insult your core customers

and when choosing a spokeswoman, they want girls in bikinis. that's how companies laugh all the way to the bank and not the unemployment line. mulvaney acted like he had never seen a beer before the ad was shot but gillis looks like he spoons with a 30 pack every night. it's imperative. find a spokesperson who seems like they use the product or, hell, even looks like the product. if i were mattel, i would hire this lady to sell "he" man dolls. >> one of my childhood favorites. alicia, remember, that's the executive who brought on mulvaney, once complained that bud had used too much fratty humor in the past and guess who handed me my quarter pounder through the drive through window

yesterday. alisa -- i kid. mcdonald's is for fratty jerks, too, but you know who likes fratty humors? you're not selling to transinfluencers, there is only one and you used them in the ad. bud is doing the right thing and good for them. maybe the leaders will learn the same lesson. if you insult the people who made you they can unmake you, too. at least now they have a spokesman emphasis on man who makes us laugh on purpose and not because he looks like audrey hepburn. if anything, this opens the door for other troubled brands to do the same. because, you know, maybe dudes are the answer. maybe disney should hire larry the cable guy. hell, ben & jerry's should higher tyus, he could have his own flavor. kick ass crunch. >> tyrus: i might try that. >> greg: victoria secret, maybe

it's time. i'll get in shape. so good on bud lite for rediscovering its core values while snl limps along like a solar powered prius. got peyton manning and now gillis. if they got any frattier they would sponsor a fart lighting contest. let's welcome tonight's guest. >> energizer bunny hate mail. the true crime podcast. this comedian's act is always out of order. actor and comedian vince august. [applause] >> greg: she saw her shadow this morning which means six more weeks of not eating. "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor kat timpf. and "new york times" best-selling author, world

champion tyus. emily, as we were walking on you asked me if i would ever take a job for bud lite, i would say hell yes, because you know they are paying. >> michelle: that's not what i was asking. how much would you do it for and you were like, free. i feel like -- >> greg: i never said free. >> michelle: you said you would do it. >> greg: a lot of money. >> michelle: how much? >> greg: it would have to be seven figures and the decimal point on the other side. >> michelle: i would do it for like -- >> greg: is this a good move, you think? >> yes. and i think what's interesting that we're watching in real-time and you laid it out, they are being actually pretty ballcy. they are actually doing the exact antithesis of what they pledged they weren't about. apparently they paid mulvaney $26,000 and then they lost

almost $30 billion. you remember in 2016 when peyton manning, he just mentioned budweiser, there is a he will la balou and they argued at the time, him talking about it was worth $13.9 million in advertising and the point was they never paid him. now, though, i bet you they are paying peyton manning and gillis millions and millions and they are basically saying, it's worth it because all of these members pale in comparison to $30 billion. >> greg: did you hear that, tucks? [laughter] >> greg: huh? >> i'll make you a millionaire. stick with me. >> greg: i shouldn't be doing that about tucks, vince, it is funny, though, the initial thing was to bash frat boys and then they got the hood ornament. he's a hilarious guy. >> how did you not do a dylan mulvaney and tucks joe somewhere

in there. >> greg: that wouldn't have occurred to me. >> my problem was with alicia -- whatever her name is. we're not that anymore. we're this. and why do you have to be one or the other? i mean, the people that always try to be inclusive are the ones that separate us in groups and the groups that you're targeting is alcoholics and that sfaempbs. you should say, listen this gear is so good, you're going to drink so much of it and get so drunk you're not going to know if you're going home with shane gillis or mulvaney but tomorrow morning you'll have a good story either way. >> greg: kat, why are we approached to be spokespeople? we were there first, when it came to cancel culture. we think bud should be underwriting this show and we love money and we do drink. >> kat: yes, i also think with bud lite, i think a lot of people feel how you feel, they

were mad, not about mulvaney but purposefully saying they are trying to get rid of their most popular consumers but i also think there was another piece to it which, just drinking a bud lite is an invitation for anyone bar to come up and talk to you. a lot of people didn't want that. if you're drinking that, then anybody is going to be -- [laughter] >> kat: if you're drinking bud lite, either you're drinking a lot already and you're trying to slow it down or you have a lot of drinking boos to do and you're trying to take it slow. >> you're managing your drinking school. could in none of those situations do you want any additional externalalities coming at you, so i think shane gillis represents the brand, what it really always has been, if you still run the risk of the guy -- like people might still not want to take that risk. >> greg: you almost have to wait until those people die.

[laughter] >> kat: everyone who has been live for that commercial needs to die first. >> greg: exactly. they need to go after beer drinkers who aren't born yet. children, tyus. good move on bud's part. >> tyrus: not good enough. i hate to kill the little party. i have a problem with dylan mulvaney. i have a problem with somebody doing a woman face, making fun and spinning in the face of women. him being a trans. i did. the other thing -- [applause] >> tyrus: yes, they are shelling out money trying to get guys back on the team but they have laid off 20% of their labor force. the people who live by their arenas in baseball stadiums across the country have all been laid off. just last week they were laying people off. you're going to put a little money in one comedian's pocket, and that's great but how about laying off the people like that instead of admitting you're wrong. [applause] >> tyrus: i can speak on it because i drink bud lite. it was the best beer to go with

barbecuing. >> greg: how many do you have to drink, tyus? >> tyrus: for me to get write need to go with bud, i need at least 24 so i always keep 12. because everything at my house i only get half enjoyment. so i just keep it there. and i was diehard bud lite because i on had the bud lite orange, i thought it was great. it was the beer i drank in college and i don't change much. kiss my ass, i got money but my integrity is more than that. i wouldn't take a dime from them right now. the apology is not good enough because we haven't seen it. come out and say we were wrong for allowing a person in woman face to designate agree gait women and this will not happen again. try that. they always do the apology like, we're sorry, sorry for what? what exactly, i tell my kids, what are you exactly sorry for. you spit in the face of middle class america. you made fun of women and you had some dumb ass talking about everyone was stoop i.

you lost a bunch of money. good americans lost jobs, you're giving a little bit here and there but whose going to step up and say this won't happen again. and the employees who worked for us for decades and even generations, we're going to get it back and this is how. maybe we don't get a bunch of sponsors, maybe that money goes back to the workers because that's who got hurt in this. >> greg: all right. up next, crime is a surprise when it's in here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. an alternative to pills, voltaren is a clinically proven arthritis pain relief gel, which penetrates deep to target the source of pain with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medicine directly at the source. voltaren, the joy of movement.

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♪ >> greg: the crime wave they are having is news to governor gavin. our vo of the day comes from a zoom call of california mayors

featuring gavin newsom. he tells the story of witnessing a shoplifter at a target store and asking a worker why the person was allowed to just walk out without paying but the employee blamed it on the governor not realizing she was talking to newsom himself. roll it. >> true story. i'm there with my three kids. some guy walks out and drops something. my 14-year-old says, sir, you dropped this. and he comes back and picks it up. and he's walking out. as we're checking out the woman says, oh, he's just walking out. he didn't pay for that, why aren't you stopping him? >> oh, the governor. the governor lowered the threshold. there is no accountability. i said that's just not true. she, i said, we have the 10th toughest in america. she didn't even know what i was talking about. the 10th toughest in america. look it up. no one gives a damn.

i said it's not true. she said we don't stop them because of the governor. and then she goes, she looks at me twice and then she freaks out. she calls everyone over. wants to take a photo, i'm like, no, i'm not taking a photo. we're in a conversation. where is your manager, why are you blaming the governor? it was $380 later, why am i spending $380, everyone can walk the hell right out. >> greg: did he just say where is your manager? what was he going to do, get her fired for not liking him? because he's the 10th best at something. it takes a special kind of stupe i did to argue that your crime policies are working right after you watch the shoplifter casually stroll out with merchandise. and then -- [applause] >> greg: you ask for the manager? i think we found a new name for a male, karen. it's gavin. his sense of entitlement. his desire to complain.

his self-centeredness when interacting with others. are we not sure he's joy reid and he's shocked this is happening in a state under policies that he's got the power to change. instead he's like alec baldwin who complains no one wants to shoot a western with him. anyone with a brain under a gallon of moose could be a sign that my crime friendly policies are resulting in more crime. maybe spend more time in california and less pretending you're running for president. he spend more time campaigning than the corps actually running, and what is he doing spending hundreds of dollars for at target anyway. vince, he was boasting that because you can run away with $950 of stuff, that's an achievement because it's the 10th best in the country. >> i love that he looks like everyone else in california that they don't even recognize him as

the governor of california. that never happens in jersey, bit way. we all know what phil murphy looks like. in fact, tomorrow, they will pull him out of a tree stump and if he sees his shadow we have six more years of the highest taxes in the country. you know what this is? i hate, the cringes moment in campaigns and debates, i met someone from so and so and they were telling me this story, this is the real version of that story. i met someone in target and they are like our governor is an [ bleep ] and it turns out that was me in that story. this is the real version of that story. >> greg: that will be changing, too. i was at a target store and i stopped the shoplifter, because the clerk was too scared. this was all about ego, tyus. he was mad that they didn't recognize him. >> tyrus: he's had a bad month. his favorite in and out burger closed down because of crime. and people don't pay for things

at wal-mart and target anymore because of crime. and he's the guy who is supposed to be in charge of crime, and he's so upset that they are complaining him about crime. i'm just going to say this right now. democrats, stick with what you've got. and that's saying a lot. >> greg: it is. it is. >> tyrus: at least with biden we know he doesn't know what he's doing. [laughter] >> tyrus: this guy will have us all at h.r., because we're making fun of the president in his presence so we don't want -- it's not male version. we need to just, person, the new word, karens across america, you're free. >> greg: yes. you're free. you're free. >> tyrus: he just gavined up wal-mart. he's a gaviner. >> that's such a good idea. too tie just got gavined by something, did that person just

gavin you? >> greg: yes. i think, kat, where is your manager? >> kat: you know what she should have said. i'm your manager. because she is. her tax dollars pay his salary. that's the problem with all of these elected officials who, they don't realize that they actually work for us, and he should have listened, tell me more about why you feel this way, because, like you actually are my employer. you pay my salary, but then this person was working at target buying a cash register, you know what? you're talking bad about me and i want to try to get new trouble with your boss. the entitlement is so gross and disgusting, and it just represents how backwards these government officials feel about the way things actually are and are supposed to be. [applause] >> greg: why didn't he go and stop him? why did he expect this clerk, the person couldn't have been

that far away, he should have run after him. >> kat: right. i was thinking that. for him to have the gal to ask her, a woman behind the counter, why didn't you stop him, maybe it's because employee policy and employer policy now throughout california and much of the nation is, under no circumstances are you supposed to stop shoplifters because so much people have died trying including under his watch, including in southern california and throughout california, he should know that. the fact that he was shocked that this is happening, this just goes to show how absolutely insulated he is and for him, i felt like i was listening to like a therapy session. an a.a. meeting, and then, and then, this is the guy, when he talks about these advantages, you know, he slept with his campaign manager's wife. then he got to remarry and have his beautiful family and be able to afford target $300 and he has the gall to complain about someone saying, yes, living in california now sucks, and he's the one who tells everyone that he speaks for them. he's the best speaker for you if

you're a person of color, if you're a woman. he wants to represent you because he does it better than that and then when we dare to question him, that's the nar simple coming out where he basically has a tantrum. how dare you. >> or we stop every 10th customer. that's our move. >> tyrus: you have to understand this is the way gavins are. you are barbecuing at the park and a genevaen sees you and they want to know why you're there and then when you tell them exactly the reasons why you're there, it's not good enough for the gavins. got to be careful of these gave s, ladies and gentlemen. >> greg: up next

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[applause] >> greg: boys bent frustration over products for men-u-sation so should we demand an apology from boys who know basic biology. they ripped down a tampon dispenser just 20 minutes after it was installed in their high school bathroom. which raises the question, why did it take so long? the boys tampon vending machine, and let's pause to appreciate the beauty of that wording, was installed as part of a new state law that calls for free minstrel products in at least one men's bathroom in every high school. that's about as logical as free aquavelva in a girl's bathroom. in an email obtained by a connecticut news site the principal expressed his deep disappointment. he said the actions today were the work of immature boys, not

men. the most eagreous instance of vandalism. only happens in boy's bathrooms, you think? this is the most egregious instance of vandalism. no, the most heroic. the fact is they are boys and the only thing that upsets a woke lemon more is someone who is resistant to their brainwash and adolescent boys are the least susceptible so it's not immaturity, it's common [ bleep ] sense. also, saying that these boys are not men while pretending that girls are boys, i think you've lost all credibility on this topic. you're not a man. you're a mouse, and a ball-less one at that. apparently the schools had other vandalism incidents including torn down soap dispensers, things stuffed in toilets and now a man's tampon dispenser.

what the hell do you expect? you put it in a teenage boy's back ruth and you think it will make it through the end of the school year. you should be grateful it lasted one day but mr. principal maybe you shouldn't blame those boys for acting up. perhaps it was just their time of the month. [applause] tyus, how would you feel if there were a tampon machine in your son's school restroom and he tore it down? >> tyrus: i would be so disappointed that he didn't call me. do it together, son. >> greg: a bonding. >> tyrus: whoa. this is world we live in. obviously, the first thing you want to say to the principal is shut up, gavin. it goes, let's say this is a need. i would think it would be a

case-by-case situation. unless -- maybe the numbers are off. but the population of trans-boys using the bathrooms in elementary school is what? is it three times a day? is it once a year? is it one student every semester that fits this description? so why even put them in that situation? because they still have the nurse's office, and i'm assuming if they are trying to live their life as a young man, the last thing they want is to be in the men's room with other men looking for, hey, fellows, any one of you grabbed a tampon? i need one. >> greg: that's a good point. [laughter] >> tyrus: tyus, go put them in your nose, bro, it's not funny. super absorbent. you distant play with your mom's tampons. what is this? amazing. and one too many i got a bloody nose and my mother went to her purse and she was like hold still, not a drop on my shirt.

>> greg: bullet wound. >> tyrus: as a father now i've got three daughters so i'm you'll about being ready -- pads, or tampons or whatever we're doing, like, i've got a set for each one, i'm ready to go. you don't got to talk to your mom, i got you, i carry one in my bag. if i die in a car accident and you guys see a bunch of tampons in my pack, just to let you know i'm a active father with daughters, i was not transitioning. >> greg: kat, as someone who is often mistaken for a teenage boy. puts on a hat. >> kat: you have no idea. >> greg: what do you expect from a teenager? they destroy everything. >> kat: but also as someone who used to clean bathrooms professionally, at boston market, it's like, it's not the fault of whoever ended up having to clean up this mess which kind

of sucks for the janitor what did you do today? i'm cleaning up the busted open tampon dispenser in the boys bathroom, like that sucks. but, you know, in high school, like i provided my own tampons. i don't know. i feel like, like tyrus said how many people does this impact? and it's a school in connecticut and now it's national news. i just don't have much more to say. >> greg: emily, yes, they tore doesn't in 20 minutes. i think that's restraint. >> michelle: it took you long enough. >> it was state law that mandates that tampons have to be in boys bathrooms as well as -- to your point, i love that point, because the statistics, think about where your tax dollars are being mandated, where you're being forced to allocate. the amount, the expense that is, for how many? and then when you weigh -- this principal talked about vulgar

vandalism. he was disgusted, it's impolite. well, i would argue that worse than vandalism or being a boy and not a man is the rape that occurred in the virginia women's bathroom by a man wearing a skirt, a boy, wearing a skirt. and her family is suing their school district for $30 million because they condoned it because laws like this are what open the field for everyone to take advantage of it. so i would rather err on the side of one person being like, i have to walk to the nurse's office, than having one person be raped in the bathroom because someone else -- >> greg: if you're transitioning, i think you can also carry a tampon with you. not that i would know. vince -- >> i carry them for my daughters all the time. not a big deal, yes, point of pride. >> greg: did they do the right thing or was it immature? >> if you walk into the boy's bathroom and the worst thing you see is a dispenser on the ground, you're already winning,

okay? as guys we've walked into bathrooms and it looks like there was a pagan sacrifice in the stall and you're just like i know what i can touch and not touch. i think the problem here, and emily hit on it, is when you try to legislate this stuff, i mean, i grew up, sometimes you have to trust people. and when i grew up in the 1980, for middle high school, high school, and the beginning of college, we didn't have to be legislated on what to accept and not accept and 1980s was androgynous as he will, bands where the guys were getting girls had long hair, were wearing make-up. none of us asked questions. we accepted everything. and girls went to george michael, surprise, he likes me more. [laughter] >> but you didn't have to legislate. if someone did attack someone who was trans -- or gay or whatever, the toxic males would defend them so the problem is don't try to legislate this stuff. sometimes you just have to let

things happen and let people gravitate to where they are going to go and kids will work this out. >> greg: you know, i think people should just follow my lead. i don't think i ever actually used the rest room in high school. i got my business done before and after. i was never going to sit on that toilet. not for anything. it was an all guy school so there wasn't -- yes, it was pretty bad. i don't want to talk about i. wait, i'm on tv, i have my dry eye's made me a burning, stinging, 5-times-a-day,...

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>> a story in five words. [applause] >> greg: five words. i hate crime. scat, you're going to love this. a navy reserve veteran was charged with a hate crime for beheading a satanic statue in the iowa state capitol. he claims it was an act of christian civil disobedience. you're a lawyer. >> actually, this story, i mean,

are we sure we didn't create this in the lab? this is such a fox news story. this guy is going to definitely -- if i was the host of faction and friends, i would fwhvshs. you're out, this guy is in. look, i mean, freedom of religion is the first amendment but i actually think there is an argument that hate crimes in general are unconstitutional. because of the 14th amendment. >> greg: which is. >> kat: equal protection under the law, because it's creating different classes of victims. different victims, for crimes. >> greg: hate crime is ridiculous. the crime is bad enough. you don't then have to assign a whole other layer of confusion. vince, you're actually a judge. how is this a hate crime? >> the problem with this story is a couple of things. one with the aspect that you have somebody in california that stabbed their husband to death, and is facing no jail time, and this person is facing jail time.

there is the first problem with our laws with regards to hate crimes and why they aren't right. with regards with it being a hate crime against a pagan statue, and the fact that this guy, you know, broke this statue, it's a civil issue. it's a property damage issue because i don't think the town put that there. it's not a government product, this is where cops, too, have to stand up and say i'm not going to serve this complaint. prosecutor, you go and arrest him. i'm not going to do this because this is the type of stuff that makes us look like a really silly country. >> greg: it's crazy, emily, in a way, it's like the previous story, in which we were challenged with issues that have -- we now have a satanic statue at a state capitol and we have to deal with it, right? they actually escalated it to a felony because the crime they claim was religiously motivated because apparently satan worship is also a religion. >> my issue with it is how

unequal this application is. it goes exactly with what you're saying. i understand the religious connotation and why then this would be classified as a hate crime but if that were to be true how is it that 97%, per christopher wray, of abortion crimes that have occurred in this country, are against pro-life senators and how many prosecutions have we seen? almost none. hundreds of attacks on catholic churches, vandalism and everything, no prosecutions but to your point, you know who was prosecuted under the felony 11-year statute minimum where a group of 70-year-old people who were signaturing hymns at an abortion clinic and they are literally facing 11 years. that's where prosecutorial -- comes in. i don't want them to disobey orders but anyone who actually prosecutes this man or all of those people who prosecute the pro-lifers and not the pro --

yes. >> a lot of time your officers are called to scenes and officers say, this is a civil issue. this is not a criminal issue. this is a property damage issue. >> greg: it's insane, though, the thing is, this is just insane that this is a religious -->> tyrus: we have to be the adults in the room. most of us agree that we don't want a satan statue in our front yard. i'll be the first to admit. i'm not a big fan of that. i'm fine with the grinch at christmas but that's my line. but if my neighbor decided to put up the prince of darkness in their front yard, and his bright red eyes were coming through my screen as i watched my movies, and i went outside and i cut the head off his statue, i'm an asshole, because, now, we agree with him, and, like there are a lot of christians and religions people, that's fine, that's

fine, but then you've got an antifa person who walks in and sees a statue of sweet baby jesus and decides to cut the head off and, hell, no, this is so wrong. this is so wrong. whether you like it or not, if there is a reason it was put up there leave it alone. don't do it because you're setting the precedent. and now he's looking at a bunch of charges for, what, you took the head off something and now you could look at jail. we've got to hold him just as accounting as anybody else. bro, don't go destroying stuff because it just leads to more destruction. you don't like it, take a picture of it, make fun of it on instagram and move on. >> greg: by the way, this was obviously put up there for the desired response, to work people ♪oh what a good time we will have♪ ♪you... can make it happen...♪ ♪ try dietary supplements from voltaren for healthy joints.

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♪ ♪ when brown comes to town you need a man who won't blush at the sound of a flush ♪ ♪ you need the -- ♪ [applause] >> greg: tonight, mysterious

feces, aka sky poop has been raining down on folks just outside buffalo, new york. experts say they know it's poop because they can taste the corn. they claim it's likely from an airplane because of its appearance but likely does it mean it is. could this be a cover up. is it really from a plane or are aliens defecating on us? perhaps it's revenge for us sending them jeff bezos, remember that. the mayor can't confirm whether it's human or animal which is something i often say when i order from panda express. >> tyrus: so much for their sponsorship. >> greg: emily, they had to use power washers. >> this is insane. you guys, you know who is investigating this? the faa. because literally, they are saying it's airplane. so literally someone above them in the sky has been basically doing during the afternoon and

evening hours regularly have been unloading the pot. the pot. that's insane. do you know how many diseases, all of your diseases are in fecal matter. this is like a biohazard worse than ebola. i think this story is nauseating. >> greg: we should do a segment called fecal matters. vince? >> i love this story. >> greg: why do you love it? >> i want to see planes painted like dragons and swoop down, drop the poop. it should be part of this. you have plane doors flying off of planes. people are going to lose their pants going out the door. that's what it is. >> greg: that's what it is. tyus what do you think it is? >> tyrus: this is where i always wear a hat. [applause] >> tyrus: never been a better time to buy a hat, fellows. when a bird does it to you it's supposed to be good luck. if this happens go play the lottery.

i don't know. >> greg: scat, is this another thing you're going to be worried about? >> kat: i want joe biden to condemn. why is he silent? >> greg: where is mayor pete? where is the secretary of transportation. >> kat: i'm calling on the president of the united states to condemn this atrocity. faced by the people near buffalo. >> greg: yes. all right. great story, though. poop detective. we're always here for number two. don't go away. we'll be right back. here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost.

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